non-lucid

DJ Log: January 9, 2013 – 7:15AM (USA Eastern)
• NON-DREAM • NOTES • DREAM • LUCID •

I am hanging out with a friend near my truck which is parked on top of a rocky cliff. It's getting late, so we're packing up all of our climbing gear for the day. I also pick up my R/C truck and put it in the bag with the remote control and bottle of fuel. It's getting dark, so I decide against trying to drive the truck down the cliff. Instead, I'll leave it there for the night and retrieve it in the morning.

Just as we're getting ready to leave, a couple of guys drive up in a Jeep. They stop and talk to us for a bit, then one of the guys says, “We'll push that truck down off the hill.” I say, “You'll leave my truck the fuck alone or I'll push you off the hill.”

DJ Log: January 9, 2013 – 4:30AM (USA Eastern)
• NON-DREAM • NOTES • DREAM • LUCID •

I am at a friend's house and ask for a cup of coffee. He hands me a bag of decaf and a filter to put in the machine. I look at him like he has two heads and say, “What is this crap?”

Fried Eggs

Someone was cooking fried eggs. They said that the eggs would be fine as long as the heat at least touches the yolk.

The batch of eggs was really big. They looked similar to fried eggs, but they were really smooth. This (typical) no faced DC was rolling them over so the other side could get just a bit of heat on them. They were barely cooked at all.

This was a boring dream, but it was so vivid. I think he said that the eggs would be fine if the heat at least touches the yolk side twice.

The End

Well, maybe it was a placebo effect, but this was one of the dreams I remember from that night.
There is a group of people discussing a problem that I do not remember very clearly now. In the group of people there is a young guy with his brother about 6 or 7 years old. The younger brother was Vietnamese and the older was anglo. Amid the discussion the child began to cry and suddenly several people including his brother crashed him against a wall and started beating him with their fists. The child continued to cry, then 2 or 3 of the group started beating him with a chair. After this he was thrown into a kind of puddle. The group of people disappeared and then I try to remove the child from the water. I started to look into the pond and trying to get the child, and when I found him it was nothing more than a mass of blood and feathers like a headless chicken. I remember nothing more.

Sleep – 11:00
1st Wake up – 03:23
Finial Wake up – 06:30

I was talking to a child that I apparently had met before. He had what looked like a radio hanging around his neck. He was telling me his life since we last met which, from the feeling I had, was a long time ago. Apparently last time we met I had said something along the lines of rain melts you if it touches you. I think I was only joking around but he seemed to take it deadly serious. He told me ever since that day he has been scared of the rain and would refuse to leave the house if it got too cloudy. He then went to talk about a new religion/cult he joined. The main thing I remember about it was that they believed that they would be enlightened if the gouged their own eyes out. He then went on to gouge his own eyes out with his fingers.
I woke up there and could feel my heart beating rapidly.

NON LUCID

I was at work. I took 10 l can of oil on a rolling table and drove it to an elevator.
I went one floor down and corridor there was unusual. It had six walls, very much like corridors in spaceships or other movies about distant future. Plain minimalism. I started to drive my table down the corridor and peaked through the "doors" into the rooms along the way. Well, there were no doors actually - just some kind of arcades in size that a truck could drive through.
All the rooms were of a same manner. They were extremely big and had a lot of empty space. Along the walls there were metal tables and people dressed in working kitchen clothes were doing something on it, but I payed no attention what. Only when I reached the last room and entered I discovered that all the doors led to the same room - there were no walls in between.
I noticed my boss, H. Everyone else were into their job beside tables, but H was standing int the middle gesturing and saying something to everyone (or no one, hard to tell the difference). He was so far away I could not hear or recognize what he was telling, and he seemed not to notice me. I was the most glad about that as I tried to avoid him.
I turned to one person and recognized it was my co-worker A. He was working on some french fries and acted completely usual, just way quieter. But an interesting twist - he also had handcuffs on his hands, in place and locked. I gave him the oil and said "use it" with a notion to express what I was holding on to say "free yourself by applying it to your hands and slipping them off the handcuffs". He did seem to understand what I meant, but he just smiled and thanked. Then he finished his job, said "I will go home now" and left me wondering. I took the oil back on the table and went out to the corridor.
Just as I entered the corridor I've heard a radio announcement coming from the walls. It said that there was a basketball tournament taking place between somebody and the school of "L". I went all over-excited about it and noticed that people who was coming out from the room have changed: they were no longer kitchen workers, they turned into students of "L" even though I could not recognize anyone I know. I shouted to them "Can you hear that?? We have a basketball team!" and everyone cheered up. "Our journalists tried hard to get in the school and gather more facts, but the school "L" strictly does not allow any media intervention.." - the announcement went on. My boss H changed to headmaster of the school J and smiled at me with his american smile. I asked him if he thinks I could join the team and he agreed. I ran with the table to the elevator and even though doors failed to open, with help of some physical force I managed to go through and leave the table there myself taking the stairs.
Upstairs was nothing like the kitchen. It was dark and looked like a bus station waiting room. There was a wall with some windows and doors on the left, and people sitting looking up to hanging tv on the right. I heard that the game was on a tv and went to find myself a seat, but it was so dark and all the people wore black so I almost sat down on one girl. Surprisingly, she and her friend got all happy about it and grabbed my hand wanting me to stay with them. I saw my friend K on TV and realized that the game was actually going on just behind the doors. I asked the girls if they think I can come in. Someone else answered "of course" and I ran in, so excited I was.
Sports hall turned out to be the same as in "P.P.V." gymnasium, although I felt like I was at campus of "T", even though the team of school "L" was playing.
There were many people inside. The match was yet to start but the players were already on court, walking randomly around. They also had long pants, which I find curious. I started walking across the court towards the reserve bench as I was sure I will meet K there who I just have seen on TV.
Midway, someone ran to me from the side and hugged me strong. She was all happy to see me and all she could say was "I can't believe it's you" all over again. Just at that point I realized it was E, and then the unusual happened. The forces have shifted, and she was no longer hanging on my neck - I was on hers and I felt more and more heavy! I lifted my feet from the ground and hanged myself on her with all my weight but she did not seem to feel it or mind it at all. She carried me few steps away and our hug was finished. She looked at me and with a full smile said: "I came back and will stay in "T" for three weeks, and then go away for two weeks again." Those words got me drifting.
I have drifted away back to the door and suited myself under the basket, game have had started. My mom appeared to be sitting next to me and asked which of those girls is my girlfriend. I found E across the court, she was "dance-walking" somewhere. She looked very happy and her walk was with ease. I told my mom it's her, with a red head. I looked closer at her.
She looked a bit different and at the same time she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Her hair was orange/red, very bright, with a color she sometimes gets if the sun shines on it - but there was no sunlight at all and it made it look extraordinary. She wore it in a bundle up her head. Her skin was very pale, face features were sharper, and body a bit more skinny. Her clothes were light and she seemed to move with grace. My mother nodded with approval as we continued to watch her. She sat down behind one girl, it was clear E was taking care of her. She took her scarf off and put it around girls neck. All seemed well and after that - she tried to put girls leg through the space between the neck and the scarf! My mother got shocked and turned around, I was watching her trying to do it like it was a normal procedure. Then I got interrupted by the game.
"C.M." was dribbling the ball towards the basket and opponent tackled the ball. It went out of bounds, nevertheless, opponent grabbed it and ran away towards the other basket. "C.M." stood there and looked at my like it was my fault I have not stopped the guy. "What?? I am not the referee.. am I?" - I looked around. And in fact - there was no referee, and the game was in chaos. "C.M" took me to the door, away from people and said "You should have never left. You know where I am going with "TG"? To Bolivia, next month." I did not know what to say so I just left. There was the same girl I almost sat on trying to hold me from leaving the waiting room. I saw her better this time, she was pretty and had curly black hair. I went outside.
It was campus of "T" after all. I was following the path, convinced it will lead me towards the building where me and E had a room together a while ago. I wanted to wait there for her to come back. It was dark outside and I could not recognize where exactly I was when someone caught up with me.
It was K with a girl I couldn't get to see, but from a look they acted together I could say it was his girlfriend. I can't recall what we talked about, but he led me into one building I did not know existed in the campus.
Whole house was one room living/dinning/kitchen room and it was heavy furnished. I looked around and said I would not like to live there, it must be freezing cold because of having all outside walls.
K replied that not at all and offered me a seat on a couch which looked comfortable.

Wednesday Nap,
09/01

I'm writing this hours after I woke up, so I don't remember too much anymore.

I'm supposedly playing Portal, but in reality it's more like the moon base level of Killing Floor (minus the monsters). I get really excited when I see that other people are in the server with me, because I didn't remember Portal being a multiplayer game. The people in the server assume that I've gotten into the Portal series late, when really it's just been a long time. We keep having these mini "liftoffs" where we hold onto a handle and we are thrown into the air a little bit, and then there's zero gravity. Someone gives me the "Portal movie" and I put it into the DVD player. On a very large flatscreen TV (a little smaller than one at the movies, maybe), is a 2D animated movie about Chell. Now that I look back on it, even though it was supposed to be about Portal, she had her jumpsuit tied around her waist like Portal 2.

It was a great movie and it was really funny, even though at some parts it didn't really have to do with Chell or Portal at all. I was really excited that there was a good movie about my favorite game series. Later, I'm at this big grocery store where they have a mind-boggling amount of ice cream flavors, popsicle flavors, ice cream pop flavors, sundays, etc. There was also this small conveyor belt that you would sit on and you would grab office supplies off these little shelves as you rode along, and then when you got to the end of the belt, you payed and got off. I rode on it, but just to ride on it and not because I wanted office supplies. At the end, I felt embarrassed about it, so I told the cashier that I wanted those thin sticky notes. However, the ones I could find were pretty crappy quality.

Later, I can't get my friends to watch the Portal movie. Finally, they come in while I'm re-watching it, but they happen to come in during one of the parts that has nothing to do with Chell or Portal, so I become frustrated. At some point my parents are playing Yume Nikki hooked up to our TV because apparently it's now a console game. They know I love it so they wanted to try it out. They had only been playing it for a few minutes, but they weren't sure what to do at that point. I took the X-Box 360 controller from my mother and explained, while playing the game, that they would probably think it was actually fairly boring, since virtually all of it is just walking around and looking at things.

At some point, I'm lucid for a bit. I walk around and observe that everything is frustratingly fuzzy, but I forget to try to make anything more clear. I start flying for a bit over a bus that is driving down the road under me, and then I wake up(?).

09.01.2013

My Subconcious is my Ultimate Companion (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This dream I had with her was very confusing, so the whole plot of the dream might be skewed, but I'll try my best to recall as much as I can.

Oh, and let's call her Kaytlan, so I can at least remember which lesbian I'm referring to in the future. >.>

I'm inside a room with her, she seems pretty cheerful, and waiting for me to go to her.

The outfits she's wearing changes a lot, or maybe I'm just having a lot of mini-dreams of her that somehow fit together. I'm sitting down, and she has her laptop that looks like a Macbook. She's looking at something online I'm guessing, and she eventually puts the laptop screen halfway down.

Everything feels so calm, and I feel so content being here. I don't have any sexual thoughts about her as yet, I was busy fantasizing on the realism of her actually being here with me in some fancy hotel we probably got for a few days.

For some reason I felt like I was her only friend because of the model life she has in waking life, and she wanted me only to keep herself from feeling lonely. She's busy doing random things I can't recall very well, but I enjoy every moment with her as a companion.

It looked as if she was bored but couldn't do anything probably because she didn't want to go outside and have dream characters going crazy over her. Despite the stagnant environment, it was the safest place she could be in right now.

She's now wearing a very short dress that ends at the middle of her thighs, and the sexual thoughts are apparent now for me and continue to augment, but this all feels wrong because of my assumption of her sexuality. I'm now confused as to whether or not she's my dream guide taking another form of a blonde or if it's just a randomly generated dream character.

She's not passive, at least most of the time, and my presumption of this is probably because I'm actually passive overall in the dream. It's all too confusing, there isn't any conflict, there isn't random things occurring, it's just a simple encounter with me and her.

The emotions to describe this is difficult to explain. It seems my actions contribute to her reacting in a certain way, a simple cause-and-effect contact with her. If I was bored, she was bored, if I was sexual, she would tease me with her sexuality of being a lesbian.

She leans over me, and I probably look at her cleavage for a few seconds before looking at her face. She has beautiful blonde hair, slightly bleached in some areas, and then she expands her arms, waiting for me to embrace her as a companion.

My reaction to this was to simply hug her as well and see how I would react. I felt like there was a emotional purging with sexual thoughts, cuddling thoughts, and more. I knew she couldn't be here with me because she's presumably in a far location in waking life. There's no point being sexual with her because her image and my assumption of her being lesbian kind of traumatizes me.

But at the same time, even if I was non-lucid, this impossible encounter obviously was a dream, but there's not point in becoming lucid, and even if I were lucid, it wouldn't be so exhilirating seeing what she'll do to me when I'm unconsciously watching this interaction with her.

The image gets stronger and stronger, and I submit myself to her. She has a motherly affection, testing me to see what I would do to her. Suddenly I get the sexual urge to slide one of my hands to the middle of her spine, hugging her tightly with my left hand, feeling this warm embrace.

The image of her and my presumption of her sexuality becomes the least of my concerns, and I enjoy how slowly I'm sliding my hands down her back. I reach the arch of her rear, and I'm just a few moments from clenching her asscheeks....and I could do anything I want with her...anything....she would instantly submit to me.

But why treat her like some sexual object when she openly wants me to embrace her as a companion, and not as a sexual partner?

Exactly what should motivate me to become carnal with this woman? We're in a room by ourselves, no one would dare distract us.

This room alone is sufficient for the both of us to do many many many sexual acts. The kitchen, the glass table, the couch, and even the fluffy vanilla floor are all enticing spots for making love with her. There's something holding me back though, and I feel she has that urge that I need to go down deeper on the scale of lust.

I can do nothing but embrace her and constrain my hand movements only for her back, shoulders, and the area before the arch of her ass descends. She is my ultimate companion, the concept of sexuality is bullshit when I'm with her, and it doesn't matter what my sexuality is with her.

These images instilled of what she should be, and yet she makes actions that contradict it makes me realize what she may be trying to portray to me.

Destroy my sexuality now, enjoy what she has to offer me, enjoy the potential she can give me. I shouldn't be setting a sexuality on myself so aggressively. But it's really hard to do that because women is the image that I'm set to like, and I love every bit of this mental filter.

Here she could be anyone I wanted her to be, any blonde I wanted her to be. I could express my sexism towards her, and she would love everything I give to her. Does she want me to experiment with her? Does she want me to break her, is she playing along just to make me feel better?

This same hug, so many emotions to explain, just a simple hug from her, just a brief gesture of love for me and me only. It's hard to make it seem that it's not a possessive love. No one else but me and her are here in this room.

She's not a lesbian.
She's not a sexual partner.
She's not a twin soul.
She's not an enemy.

But she can be if she wants to......and all it takes for her to be all those things is sliding my hand down to her ass cheeks.

I take the risk, I go down, grope it, and just before I could go crazy with her, she gently pushes me back and waves her index finger left and right at me.

"No no" was the expression on her face as she gives me a smile and stands straight up in front of me.

Then she decides to put her face near my crotch and digs her nose deep into the edge of the couch I'm sitting on. I can tell she's giggling, as if she's trying to show me that she can do anything for me down there, and all I have to do is hold her head, move it so she can bite my zipper and slide it down slowly and.....and..and I can't do it.

So she's bending down with her knees on the fluffy carpet, and she becomes dormant, waiting to see if I'm going to touch her head and use her mouth as another hole to fuck with. That's the implication I was getting from this random act of her, but I don't really do anything.

Her image starts coming back to me....the image along with the assumption, so it doesn't feel right when she's using the face of a lesbian I used to know......

*shrugs*


Why did she have to wear the short dress.............

_________________________

09.01.2013

Code Lyoko and Batwoman's Mini-jet Vehicle (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

After recalling the dream with my subconscious, recalling this next dream seems like a waste honestly.

So Odd is riding his board in the air, and I see that Batwoman's vehicle (The Mystery of Batwoman version) is below this green circular base. There's a tower about 30-40 feet above it, and I assume Aelita will deactivate the tower.

I shift my focus in falling into this green base, infact, the whole environment is green and metallic, though the associations of the lime-green colors make me think it's the Forest Sector in Lyoko.

The find that Batwoman's jet like vehicle runs on 4 Double A Batteries, and only 2 are inside the slots and the cover is missing. I tried stomping on the vehicle, and it's working just fine, for a while I guess. I jump on and ride around the air with it to do something.....forgot what happens next.

I had a dream last night that I was replying to a Facebook comment on an apple. Yes, an apple. No, I don't mean an Apple computer; it was an actual apple, as in the fruit. I ate it afterwards.

This dream is kind of hazy, I woke about 5 times throughout the night.

I was on a beach, and there was some kind of group of people waiting for something, someone seemed like they were kinda trying to trip me but i wasnt sure and fell anyway, i shouted but quickly got up and pretended like nothing happened. I saw my old friend brian then.

There was a large robot of ancient origin in the distance moving back and forth real fast amongst jungle scenery, I had the impression that a military force had tried to destroy it however failed miserably in their attempts.

I joined the navy somehow, and was on a boat very briefly, there was a scene with a woman and she said something and i went to sleep on the boat.

Another part I was in an airplane with a group of other individuals in some military force, we all proceeded to parachute out, we landed on a basketball court in some city, i wasnt sure what our mission was and one of the team mates mocked me in a strange fashion for it.

We met with some lady of authority and she gave us our mission, I think we had to kill a couple guards outside of her door first. There were kids in her office. Anyhow, we went to some dark corner outside a building and one of my teammates had to pretend to be undercover, so 2 guys showed up and he ended up shot somehow.

We had to redo it all over and this time, we did things differently somehow and the guy ended up going to school, but saw us in the school and started yelling, "What the hell is going on!?" our mission was to get him into school i guess.

Thats about all I can recall for now.

Dream – Lucid

I worked at Subway and the coffee shop I used to work at. I’ve had that dream theme before. I remember closing up Subway at night, and the back was very dark and eerie (a common occurrence in these dreams as well). And we were wading through water full of raw shrimp and lobster. We’d crack them open and eat them…raw. This happened more than once.

I also remember feeling anxious about my schedule, thinking I had missed work at one of the jobs.

~

I was playing a Pokemon game in my brother’s room with Jason. It was nighttime. As usual in these dreams, I didn’t know how he got there, who let him in, or whatever, but he was there. And he was kicking my ass at the game. I would KO him, I remember specifically using some crazy powered-up attack and killing him (he barely had any health left), but his Pokemon had some special move that revived him. It was a Squirtle-like Pokemon, and he used some move that had to do with his shell, and it brought him back up to full health. I had really crappy Pokemon for the most part, so he really had the upper hand. I kept on commenting on this. He really didn’t have a whole lot to say.

I also remember him talking to my brother a little bit, and me wondering why in the world my brother was even tolerating his presence, knowing what he did to me.

The whole time, I noticed the feeling I got when he was around: Nervous and excited. I figured it was coming from him. I just wanted him out. I wanted him to leave my house, but I couldn’t say it. I don’t know why.

Then, the game turned into some cut scene that was like an anime show. As we watched (I was sitting on Blake’s old bunk bed on the bottom bunk and the TV was on the opposite side of the room from where it usually is), I took the opportunity for us to go in my room. Inside were Sara, Caitlin, and Nick B., the first guy I ever kissed. Sara and Caitlin were at my computer. I introduced them to Jason. Sara said
“Who is he, your boyfriend?”
And I said
“No, it’s just…Jason. This is Jason.”
I hesitated, because I wasn’t sure what to call him. I debated saying “friend”, but he isn’t my friend. So I just said his name. Jason repeated me and said “Jason” as he shook Caitlin’s hand.

I kicked everyone out of my room and house because I was ready to go to bed, and ready to get Jason the hell out of my house.

~

I then went on to dream of Jason and his family. We were now inside what appeared to be the Pokemon game. Jason’s family was sitting by a tree at night with their backs to him. I heard something about him having hurt his family in the past.

Note: First off, I’ve written this dream down before, but the file was lost somehow! Exact times and details may be off, but I can still recall parts of the dream so I will start from there.

Date: 1-8-2013
Time ~5:30am

I was walking with Greg down a path. It was a wide sidewalk that went on for about a mile and then curved to the right. It looked like there was an ocean around where the path curved.
It was surrounded by trees and forestry. Me and Greg were walking and talking while preparing to smoke. We talked about how we used to do this all the time. I said something too loud and Greg scolded me. I looked to the right and instead of forest it became a park.
The park had a hill in the middle of it and a skinnier sidewalk went through it. We were instantly at the top as Greg was talking about how we used to ‘push and play’. He was smoking what looked like a ‘little cigar’, but I knew it was a blunt. It went out while we were at the top and I asked him if it was out. Of course, he said yes. I began to wake up at this point.

This dream took place a day or so ago but couldnt adjust that on here as far as i could tell. anyhow here we go, first entry.

I was preparing a meal of cookies chocolate peanut butter oatmeal cookies was one of em (my mother used to make these when i was young alot), and put what was maybe human flesh in them for some party, so some cookies were bloated, they ate them and started growing pig noses, one of the guests started munching on his pig nose.



It was in an old rickety house i believe, I went back for some food, and ate some tortilla chips but kept spilling em on the floor as someone said I'll get you a plate, then i spilled them all over the floor and became a bit distressed.

I found a grenade an old small one, and kept reenacting how i was gonna use it or wondering who i should give it to.

Some agents were looking at a compartment built into the ground that was sealed with a lock in my back yard at 1771 crocket drive, they were trying to open the lock but failed. (perhaps my locked away memories of childhood?)

I tried to hide the grenade without people noticing in a stack of old logs. (the grenade representing something dangerous, like my schizophrenia or childhood and the effects of trauma, hiding it from the world around me and myself?)

I went back to 1771 crocket drive when i was alot older and my shoes were disheveled, i think something important happened, i said something or saw someone or knew something that I can't remember.

Another part I was with some lady and she got a car but it had no seatbelt for her which distressed me, she couldnt drive it well, saying it didnt drive like her other car, I had the idea to put parts of it in my older car to make it work better. (my moms schizophrenia as the lack of seatbelt car? Applying schizophrenia in some way to the old me to have a car with a seatbelt? Learn from schizophrenia?)

Dream 1: Car Lost
I am at my childhood colony at my fiancee house.(In Reality my fiancee house is in other city). My Fiancee is showing me wedding shopping stuff. I am worried about my car which is outside of house. I am going out to look my car but Oh I lost my car. I am searching my car everywhere, At dco house and in my neighborhood. I am very worried.

Probably caused by a certain talk that occurred yesterday, oh well, everyone has generic non-lucids occasionally.

I was at home and something went totally wrong so i had to go to school to check something, dad follows me. Now i am at one of the top floors, probably already solved whatever was wrong. Going down the stairs. There seems to be floating thing of solid light at certain floor, i briefly touch it and it kinda fades away. Going down the stairs. Dad is downstairs, i exit the school through basement for some reason, dad follows me. There are lots of people, which all ignore me, then there's lots of pigeons. I end up entering some sort of park and there's fallen tree. Dream ends.