non-lucid

The first dream involved some kind of deal at some guy's house in the neighborhood I grew up in. I remember a bike with no rider riding itself into me on the road. It seemed to turn the opposite direction of the one I turned, but I guess I decided to tackle it head-on like an idiot.

The second dream seemed a bit cut down the middle. One part was about helping my mom see which clothes would work for her. I'd put on the shirts and since we look so similar I guess, I'd make the judgement for her based on how I looked in it.

The second part was about an upcoming catastrophe where magma would erupt out of every hole in the ground and flood the earth. Our idea was to cover all of the holes except for one so that even if a large part of the earth was still scorched, there would at least be a safe zone on the other side of the planet. This mainly took place at my current school, and I remember sean from elementary and middle school texting me about something while I was trying to help not get myself killed.


There was a pink, thin long-sleeved shirt my mom didn't want to look good on her but it looked okay on me so I told her it somewhat suited her and she half-jokingly sweared under her breath.

bedtime about 0:30 -- too late, need to fix schedule!

get up: 08:30

+ [DO] flying over and along a roadway that is under construction: mostly rough gravel with transitions between sections. I'm concerned about the smoothness of the road. There's a section over a riverbed that is particularly rough and wavy, I see sort of a bridge structure underneath the road. I'm touching my hand down to the road as I fly over it to smooth it out (?).

+ On a large open "erector set" structure over a large body of clear blue water. Go over the side and want to jump but am concerned about objects in the water, so I lower myself down as far as I can before jumping down in to the water so I don't hit anything. There's an object floating on the water nearby and I want to make sure I miss it. The water is a Caribbean clear blue. There are some others I know in the section next to me. Up on top of the trellis structure (from which i jumped) there are "rooms," and I want to move to a farther room so that (I won't be disturbed?). Those two others (guy and a girl) move on to the roadway. There is some idea about physical injury not being real? A (woman?) is driving a car right at them and at the last minute the guy&girl roll out of the way to avoid being hit because they realize there would be lasting consequences, while the driver thought there wouldn't be.

30th December 2021

Fragment:

I'm on some sort of hill castle's ruins. It's sunny and the area seems arid. There are guards below constantly firing arrows at wide intervals, many arrows hitting the walls. Eventually, two guards scale up the hill and the walls. I stab them with a gladius-like blade, one of them I stab in the chest and he falls back against the wall. Later on, they all leave, as if uninterested in continuing the attack. (not worth the risk?)

(recall gap)

Some bit later, in a sports centre of some kind. There's nobody in but myself and I think I'm filling something out. I seem confused about something, not sure what. Then, the centre quickly starts getting packed and I notice the time to be around 12:30 at this point, thinking about how it's an odd time for it to be getting busy.

(recall gap)

Then some bit at old home. MB is there and H is too. We're talking about rugby and I'm interested in it or something but I get the impression H thinks I shouldn't be. There's an odd (maybe tense?) atmosphere.

Notes:

- I have never been especially interested in rugby. I've thought about it as interesting, but never gone much further than that, disliking playing it.

- The atmosphere probably had something to do with H getting a gut feeling about MB and as if I was being seduced. Likely metaphorical context.

- Gladiuses, gladii, whatever, seem to have been appearing a fair bit in my dreams around this time. Perhaps of relevance, I was struggling a lot with mood and energy in this final part of the year.

- Thinking about the odd timing at the sports centre was a bit of a pre-lucid moment.
-- Feeling confused and then everyone coming in seems partly symbolic/metaphorical of answers trying to rush through and around me.

26th December 2021

Scraps:

Some dream like FL. No recall of details.

Fragment:

Something with JF. He looks like his character? He acts rashly and impatiently, aggressive at first but we end up talking and getting along a bit. This seems to take place at old home. Outside at night, in the cul-de-sac car park, I'm walking to dad's old Scenic? And then I try to clean it, but it's now H's van and I just have a small jam jar type of thing to dump soapy water with. Somebody comes over, telling me off. This guy is being territorial about me being here and I try to reassure him and try to leave/get away.

Then, inside the car with JC from school. Going out of the cul-de-sac but then JF is at the bottom of the end of the road (doing what? also normal size) and sort of forces us to reverse. JC struggles reaching the pedals (he still appears to be his younger self?) and I have to press the clutch for him a few times.

Now at home, I'm in the balcony area past my siblings' rooms. Something happens here with JF and some discussion. My gladius? He says he knows all about its "frequency" or something. Then, discussing something about someone who modelled a sword and who worked at Blizzard, but was lost. Lost marines? (What did I mean here?)


29th December 2021

Scraps:

Something in DII, I have reserved mana (GD intrusion), and I also find myself having too little mana anyway, even though it's at a value near 900. I have spare stat points I spend on Energy. Act 1 area, in the moors?

Some in-line notes.

23rd December 2021

Recall was left too long and could only retain vague fragments.

Fragment:

Something about being at old home, I'm in my room and it's sunny outside, though my curtains are drawn closed. They're the old white and yellow diamond curtains. I am moving towards my desk in the corner and feel the need to self-pleasure, but something makes it feel like I can't.

Then, something about going for an appointment. I am briefly outside. The light in the dream seems off somehow, like there's too much shade despite being daytime and how sunny it is, but I don't realise any of this while dreaming. Something happens in regards to me going to the appointment or something, and then I'm home. (Did this scene happen first?)

Fragment:

I'm outdoors and I was in a car before. The place I'm in is a forest and I eventually go through a cave too. There's a relatively small female black bear character, which has something anthropomorphic about it. I want to kill it using a rifle, and kite the bear around all over the place, at one point the bear becomes enraged (like a game buff) and I have awareness that a single hit from the bear could kill me. (Similar feel to being the scout on DRG and kiting a dangerous enemy)

Another half-anthro animal was involved in this at one point.


24th December 2021

Fragment:

It's relatively bright but not exactly sunny. I'm in our bedroom with H, who's on the bed and then there's something that means I have to get up. At one point, we have an interaction with H's grandfather, who's apparently staying with us. (He passed away a couple of years ago, but it feels like yesterday) He knows about us sleeping in the same bed, and doesn't seem to mind.

I had a couple dreams about Jamie, not sure she was in them. One where I was looking for her but I couldn't find her. Another I'm sure she was in and was in better spirits.

Bill???

Just walking on a street with an old guy named Bill? He was looking for Jamies house because he said he wanted to tune her piano. But the guy was really creepy. We apparently found her house, instead of going through the door he tries to go through a window. I push him aside and try to go through the window. But Bill very strongly grabs me and tries to pin me down or something. His grip is really tight and I can't breathe. I convince him to somehow let me go? He does for a second and I fall through the window and go to the other side and fall through a patio door. i'm outside trying to get up but my shirt or jacket is caught. I hear these strange voices chanting *bill, bill bill,* as if warning me he's coming. They sound like that underwater voice effect on tiktok. I say, "I know I know but my jacket is caught." I finally get free when I wake up.

Car

For some reason I had 3 cars at a 711 that all went missing. I was grabbing 711 employees and shaking them while asking, "Where's my car?"

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am sitting near the back of a bus. Keanu Reeves comes in and goes sit in the last row. I play cool and just make sure he sees me and notices me, so I try to engage later. I don't wanna annoy him for no with a rushed approach. Then he drops something and doesn't notice, so that's my cue. I pick it up and give it to him. Apparently it is something important, because he thanks me a lot and says he wants to reward me somewhow. As he looks through his bag looking for something, I say "You know, we have a common acquaintance." "Oh really, who?" And I say "DJ K. You worked together at a film." And he is like "Whom?" I didn't expect him not to remember, so I insist and say maybe he forgot because it was a long time ago, but they were pretty close and I even have pics of them together. He is curious and wants to see the pics but I don't have them with me on my phone. I tell him I can send it later. He asks for my number and I feel like my mission is accomplished.

I visit a botanical garden and check a little corner that I loved very much. There are two guys there making some sort of inspection. One asks for my opinion about the flowerbed arrangements. It looks gorgeous, very colorful and diverse. I say I have never seen it so gorgeous. We talk about the evolution of the garden. Then some rich guy, a movie star, arrives in a big SUV, stops in front of us and very theatrically, comes out with an entourage. One of his bodyguards puts some sort of key inside a stone carving in some stone steps on the opposite side of the path in front of us. The stone stairs pull in magically and reveal another set of stairs going underground. Then everyone around goes in and since I am curious I go after them. Someone questions if I am supposed to be allowed in, but no one seems to care. A the end of the stairs we walk down a corridor that looks like service tunnels, with art pieces stored in storage rooms or hanging on the walls. It is an access to some house of an artist. The house itself has a really exotic decoration. Finally we arrive at the main area and I learn it is actually Audrey Hepburn's house. It is huge. Although we entered via an udnerground tunnel, the house actually spreads up through an entire building several storeys high. We head for the top terrace, where there are two indidivual houses on top of it and get to see we are in the middle of other city buildings. The terrace has different levels, one looks like a normal rooftop with a pool and direct access to the house we just came from. But then we go down a few stairs and there is another level that looks like a restaurant, with rowns of tables outside in front of another building which is a kitchen and another level with a private cinema. I meet Audrey, she is so nice, but I tell her I am not so sure about her house. Seems cozy but also just too much and so kitsch with weird art everywhere, which makes it overwhelming to the senses. I even find a pot in the middle of the way with some Buddha ststues and jewels inside, just abandoned there and I take them out and put the budddhas on top of a boulder that is on the side of some stone stairs. Then try to untangle a necklace to also hang it there but I fall in love with it and I put it on me. It is made of a dark metal, deep blue stones and peacock feathers. Some security guard looks at me sideways and I say "Don't worry, I wont leave with it on, I'll just wear it while I am here." Then everyone starts heading to the cinema because there will be some movie preview. There is a lobby where guests have to leave bags and coats and check-in and I get in the line. In front of me is a girl with a baby in her arms, and she seems a bit stressed, because the computers crashed and they can't log us in. I get her a chair and offer to hold the baby for a while, which she accepts after a while. The movie started and we are stuck outside but the baby is adorable and I am ok, don't even know if I want to watch the movie.

5th December 2021

Fragment:

Vague recall of being in my old bedroom. Dark, based on light, probably morning outside. My oldest sibling is at my computer playing some game.

(recall gap)

In some kind of hybrid space RTS/base defence thing. It doesn't feel like a game in the dream. Things go well at first, and then the attacking alien waves start to become much stronger. My fleet thing can't keep up and eventually things seem to sort of blend seamlessly into a big wide sort of control room. It's bright, and white-ish. The aliens are blue-grey or silvery and I remember checking their HP and realising that it's much higher than whenever I last checked it. (I am not sure why, but at the time of writing this, this made me think of Ender's Game)

Then I start feeling like I'm alone and overwhelmed by the situation. The invaders become a mix of TCG units, but semi three dimensional. Some units have names that feel sexual? I get close to a "succubus zombie something" unit and it seems to just be the legs. Visually things don't make much sense. The legs are blue and have something like a mouth between them but I perceive this as female genitals during the dream. I stick my finger in the mouth and feel around inside. The teeth, lips and tongue look cartoonish, and are the normal "ideal" colours.


6th December 2021

Fragment:

(left recall too long) Something about a boy I'm mentoring. I think I understand that I can't teach him everything at once and that the lessons I want to teach him aren't necessarily the ones that I can or should teach him right now. Dream location seems to be some mix of old home and an unknown place. It's dark? Abyssal? Certainly vast in some respect.


12th December 2021

Fragment:

(recall left whole day) Something in a town, with H. Semi-detached houses. Then, something in a mall. Vast and open, orange and cream tones (sounds nice but don't have any visual recall anymore). Nobody is wearing a mask except for myself. I go down some stairs/escalator. I think I go past a food court?

I leave the mall through a front entrance, I think. Eventually I'm back with H somewhere, and I comment on how "people 'down South' are careless" or something to that effect.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At the apartment I used to live in front of my mom, but it is my two vets who live there together (not as a gay couple, just roommates). I am staying as a guest in the office room, which is totally empty, except for a tent where I sleep. I bake them a cake for some reason but have to throw it away. They want to know why and I find it hard to explain.
Later on inside the tent, it starts tumbling like pushed by a strong wind and I accidentaly find myself getting out in my old dojo. I recognize my Kenpo colleagues, but I don't see our sensei. I try to go away before he arrives, but instead some other sensei appears. He doesn't know me and is not happy to see me there. I sneak out and on the next room people are practicing yoga. Alicja is with them as well and a couple of her friends and some funny Eastern European lady who tries to do a headstand and hits me with ther feet on my face. I end up helping her and others follow my example and help each other. They invivite me to stay and practice with them, but I say I gotta go. Next room is a pavillion with some IT expo and it is so packed with people, I need to cut through stands and step over people totry to get somewhere. I get kinda stuck at a booth where some couple puts some half dozen boxes in my hands saying it's gift merchandise. I say it's inconvenient for me to carry it and they get offended, so they take it back and put it all in the trash. I beg them not to do it and that I'll take it gladly, but only when it becomes possible to talk away through the crowd with it.

There is some kind of end of the world event and I am stuck in some cult that rejects sheltering from it and forces me to be part of some ritual where we wait for the shockwave (from a comet, maybe) tp hit us. The vibe is very surreal, it is circus like, or like a Terry Gillian movie. Everybody else is running for their lives and we are standing on top of a cargo train, in the middle of the night. But when the shockwave is coming, turns out they also start running in panic. But there is no escape so I stay in place and just repeat mantras, trying to clam my mind. Miraculously, the wave doesn't affect me. All of a sudden it is gone and all the crazies are also gone, just a couple friendly people around and everything in chaos. As if the world was purged. Then I start walking down towards where the others ran and I start finding only belongings that everybody left behind. There is furniture and smaller belongings. I find someone's jewelry collecttion and there is lots of gold and silver. I fill a bag. A friend points out that maybe that is now worth nothing, but I still treasure it. Ahead is an entire library and I pick my favorite books as I dance and sing happily Björk songs.

3rd December 2021

Dream:

I am talking to my eldest sibling through Steam, something about a problem they're having with smells in the bathroom. Then, I'm at theirs. It's a house they bought recently and I'm helping by saying what to watch out for and trying to help plan the bathroom's extraction route. There's a big 35 PSI orange turbine blower, it looks too big for the job, but I figure it doesn't really matter.

Outside the house there's a weird roof and I spot some problems with pointed brickwork that will need sorting out. I tell them and explain a bit. The house seems to be in the middle of some woods; it's Autumn and there are fallen leaves everywhere. I think it might be a bit damp. I don't get to see the other sides of the house but I did mean to. The house has three floors in total and something about the shape looks... Wonky.

Then something about turn-based combat. In a cave area, a boss creature my middle sibling is fighting. I try to help by grappling onto it and being dragged around a bit, until I'm on its rear end/back. I swing a sword and drink a potion of ultra haste to swing faster, but even at this distance all my attacks seem to "miss" and do nothing. Some bit which has an energy barrier, opening up to a pit or cave tunnel going down. I get the impression my sibling is trying to lure the creature there but I am concerned about this place and that this might not work. I think I have some fear of thing backfiring, and it being us falling in.

Notes:

- In retrospect, the battle and our roles in it seems linked to my impressions of how I think my sibling might be coping (or not) with their own issues. The whole dream has some interesting symbolic interpretation potentials, but either way seems to relate to my views on both of my siblings.

- I think the forest was some kind of pine forest, I can't recall exactly, but the trees were certainly very tall, being taller than the house.

- The cave bit's entrance was nearby, behind the house somewhere.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

My teacher comes to PT. While meeting some of his students, during a more relaxed moment, he calls me to sit with him at a table for a private conversation. He asks me how I am and does some small talk. He grabs my hand and we show more affection than what I think others should see. He comes closer to me and puts his arms around my shoulders. Says he doesn't care what others think. But the fact is no one around seems to see or care. Nobody is looking at us. He says something like he wants to know everything and I tell him "Then, let's go out for the whole day and I'll tell you everything you need to know." He agrees. I say I just need to go home for 5 mins and will come right back. It is actually my mom's house and not mine. I take the elevator. She is at home and Riverstone is there watching TV and has a really weird haircut. He knows I was with my teacher, so he asks how it went. I give him a hug and ask "What if I move to India?" and he doesn't say a word. My mom is like "Hein?" and totally puzzled. I don't even know how to tell her. But first I must go back to my teacher.

No lucidity unfortunately. For whatever reason I felt like my brain was too tired. Also no horny dreams tonight lmao

• I had a dream that I took 2 ibuprofens because I was sore. Yeah, that was the entire dream.
• I had another dream, and I woke up in the middle of the night and was thinking “I should write this down” but then I passed out again.
• Apparently I got donuts with a friend of mine? I don’t remember this. Plus something illegible that I can't read now.
• I had a dream that I only had $940 in my bank account EUGH that is terrifying.
• I had a dream that my cat kept biting me and her tail for some reason. It was painful, unlike the bite of the tiger I experienced a few nights back which actually quite felt nice. I was annoyed because my cat definitely is not a biter in the waking world. She is very nice and will only bite in self-defense, if at all. I've never been bitten by her before so idk where this dream came from.
• I was going through different houses for a run. The houses were along a pier, and for some reason, the route kept taking me INSIDE OF these houses. Like into people’s personal rooms and stuff as part of the run. So I’m like running and pushing chairs and crap out of the way, and people are looking at me while seeming very confused. I was also quite confused. The entire pathway on the pier was like this, just going into random people's houses. At the last house at the end of the pier, I saw some weird-looking bears, walking by the ocean (or possibly on top of the water). But someone in the house said they weren’t bears, but rather giant racoons or something? Idk but they were mammalian. I turned around and they started chasing me. I then became either a lion or a tiger and I started jumping over houses and stuff to get away from the bears. I also hopped in and out of multiple zoo exhibits, which existed on the pier for some reason.
• I was with a group of friends, but all of them were dream characters that I don't know IRL. I had memories, which I’ve now forgotten, of a great trip that we had, and we had all known each other for a very long time within the dream's narrative. We were at an airport, and all said goodbye to each other.
• I was in a less-nice part of some big city, but it also looked like a super run-down Chinatown? In the narrative of the dream I had lived there before in the past. I had a memory of going there with other people. It was nighttime, lots of lights, a bit sketchy.

Reflect

Part of a longer series of events involving travel from one place to another. The only part I remember well was towards the end, where I’m being chased by a young woman in a rather video game-ish setting. As I run, a handful of parallel memories arise, showing various outcomes to this event, which are all variations on her catching up. Looks like this is a mandatory fight. I also notice that something is different from the memories, something important: I know who she really is.

I make sure she doesn’t catch up until an open area up ahead, and then we’re both standing there, facing one another. She initially has brown skin and straight, dark, shoulder-length hair, but the image dissolves, and she changes to a shorter figure with grayish skin, rather like Zimmy from Gunnerkrigg Court.

There’s a short conversation here, which I can no longer remember, and then she attacks, throwing some sort of enormous summoning spell at me. I raise an arm and deflect it back at her with a gesture. What happens next is rather like a lengthy animation playing out, temporarily turning both of us into passive observers as it takes over the screen/dream and practically defeats my opponent all on its own. Moreover, at the end of it, the nature of the encounter seems to have changed, so that now I just have to complete three small, easy puzzles to win. My opponent actually contributes to solving one, in sort of a “yeah, yeah, let’s get this over with” way.

Poke

Another vaguely video game-ish one of which I can only remember the later part. In this one, I’m with a small group of people in a town, and there is a man there we have to fight, although it isn’t clear why, and he doesn’t actually seem to be an enemy. I can’t remember his appearance (or, really, the specific visuals of the dream in general), but something about him was reminiscent of Zorro somehow.

A woman in the group demonstrates to me how to attack via a menu. There’s a list of attacks, most of which seem to be elementally based, but the woman indicates the one that he is apparently weak to, which is color-coded purple and labeled “Quiet”. Oddly, all the attacks just seem to be summoning various ensembles of musicians, who then play music. I select the most powerful option, which summons three of them. I then poke him in the back, which takes a small chunk out of his remaining HP. He’s just standing there and not responding in any way, so I poke him a few more times until he is defeated – or maybe just until I’ve got his attention, which seems as if it might be what this whole thing is actually about.

23rd November 2021

Fragment:

(recall left too long) In one bit I'm trying out some of H's clamp meters (not waking life ones) and I pick up one that has a Bosch blue colour to it; the clamp is flat on the inside, and grippy.

I try it on a few different things and get nothing. Then I realise I'm in the wrong mode and change it to read amps. Then, I try one of our kitchen forks with it. Somehow it reads 4A and I feel a tingle and buzz through my arm (which is holding the fork?); I check the voltage and it's quite high and I decide to go tell H and see what he thinks. I feel like there's some insulation missing or something on the meter, for this to be happening.

20th November 2021

Fragment:

Somewhat adventure-like dream. (left recall too long) Something about turning some huge metal wheels in a couple of buildings at a sea side quay. This makes the clocks of a large nearby church work again.
(I have vague recall even now of the dream, visually. I think at one point I was on some rafters in the church, but I also recall it was a bit of an overcast and yellow-ish day outside.)


21st November 2021

Dream:

I'm with mom in a kitchen of sorts. There's a weird gas oven of some kind that mom is using. I'm just doing some cutlery things with a cupboard. I had just been talking to H and asking if he wasn't going to eat his egg soup thing. Also something about "chef John".

Mom is trying to get the gas thing going and has some rice and sausages which will be getting cooked. I tell her some wicks (?) have gone out. She increases the flow, nothing happens at first and then big flames from those wicks. I tell her she should back it down and she does. Then the food she was cooking seems to have become overdone for her liking. The sausages have supposedly gone sour, and the rice stodgy. I taste a slice of sausage and it tastes bland but not sour, although I did smell something sour.

Then I'm checking my phone. Something weird is going on and I conclude it's a virus on my phone. Messages I'd received are FUBAR on a UI-level and I can't dismiss anything. Pressing home just takes me to some sort of gallery, which has pictures of beaches and of naked female porn stars or something to that effect.


22nd November 2021

Fragment:

(recall left too late) Something about being on a highway or the like. Traffic direction orientation is not as I would expect for where I live. At one point I do not perceive myself as being in a vehicle and am somehow pulling myself along fast enough to at speed, but it feels like I'm struggling a bit. There's a T-junction that's more like a corner and I want to go left where the road curves more naturally.