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Morning of December 29, 2018. Saturday.

Dream #: 19,003-02. Reading time: 2 min 20 sec.



I enter an atypical dream scenario in a subliminal mode, but with more of a cohesive storyline than usual. It is a science-fiction theme. It is primarily a result of parallel autosymbolism. It consolidates two autosymbolic dynamics of the emerging consciousness, electricity and flying insects, both indicative of consciousness reinitiation and the neuronal energy thereof as well as blue field entoptic phenomenon by way of (the memory of) supraliminal integration.

There are scenes relating to the development of robotic flying insects. I do not perceive them as a threat. I watch them fly in the blue sky. They move in spirals and circular patterns, attempting to create a portal.

Others have conversations about the development of these tiny machines, with the main factor relating to generating enough energy to create a portal to enter another world. The scientists involved seem to think that it will never happen.

Enough of an emerging consciousness thread becomes present to vivify my awareness and place me in a warehouse as a result (a kind of concurrent “waiting room” for the conscious self in REM sleep), which is typically the last setting when it occurs in a long dream, though in this case, an offset dream results, distorting the original theme somewhat.

While in the warehouse, my imaginary physicality is also more pronounced along with my attention. My subception correlates with the factor of transitional vestibular system correlation (one of the “crucial three” that occurs at least once in a dream of each sleep cycle). In this case, it seemingly stems from “Superman” from 1978; the scene where Superman flies upwards and crashes through the ceiling, though my dream self has no viable memory of such an association while in the dream state.

I am still in subliminal mode, yet I begin to consider ceiling (upward directed) RAS mediation (as a result of sleeping more on my back than on my left side in this case). (Dream control and inherent awareness of autosymbolic processes are unrelated to lucidity or “becoming lucid,” contrary to popular misconception and misinformation.) As a result, my dream responds by creating a mason jar full of the robotic insects. Although an unknown companion is holding it, I subliminally create the next scene. (The transitional vestibular system simulacrum remains passive in this event.)

The jar rises into the air. It crashes into the ceiling and somehow creates a hole that the robotic insects fly up through, and into the sky. Glass shards fall downward, but they do not pose a threat. At this point, my dream jumps into a different form.

The tiny robots are now able to create a portal into another world (which is merely my dream self becoming more aware of my real environment in this case). From here, I passively watch a few events.

I am now on another planet with “aliens” that seem like ordinary human beings. The “insects” are now (or now controlling) robots that are about half the size of a person and somewhat like a two-tiered pair of cubes incapable of flight. One is watching an unfamiliar man that seems like a Nazi from World War II, and it seems puzzled. These “aliens” plan on using the robots sent to them to conquer other worlds. I try to make the “alien” sound “alien,” but it sounds like an ordinary language from Earth, though the words sound like gibberish to me, as language skills in dreams are not viable enough to create something of this nature. I wake at this point.

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Hey guys, long-time-no-post. But I'm looking to get back into lucid dreaming in 2019.

Also a reminder to self, had a fun Manei dream on christmas eve night that I need to write down.

A rather bizzare occurrence started off last night's dream, a sort of reverse false awakening. I remember snippets of a fairly long dream in where I was at my father's house. (I have moved house since I last posted a dream journal here, and as such have seen lucid dreams go up, since whenever I find myself in my old house, I usually know that I'm actually dreaming.) This didn't seem to be the case this time around though.

I was sitting on the couch with my father and two ODT characters I did not recognize. We were watching some movie about a spaceship being haunted by a ghost causing malfunctions and the ship was falling into the atmosphere of the planet Jupiter. One of the dream characters complained about the movie being too scary, but I had false memories of having seen it before and more or less told them to suck it up before falling asleep before the movie could end.

Falling asleep in the dream immediately took me into another dream, in where I was in a river that ran through a deep canyon. I became lucid at least in part, I don't know if I was lucid relative to my actual waking life, but rather the dream about my old house, but I was "lucid" in the respect that I knew this was a dream. I grabbed on to one of the walls of the canyon and began climbing up with relative ease. The walls of the canyon were a gray stone with the occasional grass or fern growing out of them. I wasn't feeling confident in flying having not been lucid in some time and preferred instead to climb.

I recall climbing for a few minutes. Every time I would think I was reaching the edge of the canyon yet more cliff would reveal itself. I also began to find carved stone animal body parts which I could use as handholds sticking out of the cliff face. This was bizarre and even a little creepy. A leg with a hoof, the snout of a dog, the tail and back legs of a cat, an octopus tentacle were all carved immaculately from the stone.

I continued upwards and eventually reached the top of the cliff. In the immediate area where I had climbed out of the gorge was a castle which seemed to be built in a miniature scale. I went over to examine it more closely and found tiny human skeletons (maybe about 20 centimeters high) and bits of miniature armor and weapons laying around. I picked up a longsword, though to me it was the size of a butter knife and I examined it. There was a rather large hole in the pommel, big enough for me to stick my pinky finger through. I thought this was a bit bizarre and became concerned that I might be in danger of inciting conflict. Sure enough, as soon as I let that thought cross my mind, miniature men started shouting, manning the battlements of the castle, and firing tiny arrows at me.

A few of the arrows stuck into the back of my hands which I had used to block my eyes. I jumped off the cliff back into the gorge but found that I was now floating. It was as though there was an invisible floor over the gorge with the river that I had started in. But I wasn't able to step or walk on it, it was more like an updraft of wind was keeping me aloft.

I saw this dream character, it looked like a PFNM but was only 30-40cm tall, wearing black armor with a small white cow skull mask and black deer horns charging the castle and the miniature men were firing arrows at it. I observed the battle for another minute as the men slowed the creature down. It climbed the castle walls and started sucking the blood of the miniature men with a long proboscis like tongue which would kill them pretty quickly. I think it managed to do this to about half a dozen of them. Eventually the miniature men in the castle were able to pincushion the creature with enough arrows that it fell.

-+-

I was in an OTD town, mixing elements of my old hometown, my new hometown and sunset valley from TS3. At the center of the town on either side of main street were large towering circular archeologies about 20 stories tall made of a white concrete and glass containing tropical plants like palm trees and bird of paradise flowers. There was also a very large brick building that functioned like a compact multi-story mall and the BBD that recurred in my October Lucids was also pasted into the town. I encountered the amethyst man which caused me to become lucid.

I explored the town for a bit, eventually finding the town square park. There was some kind of military honors ceremony occurring like you might have on veterans day. I felt compelled to stay and watch. There was a large stage set up, with a veteran military commander giving a speech. He looked like an older version of Jak (Yes the dream character Jack, upon seeing his name in print in the a dream, omits the "c" so I'm taking that as canon now). He started off with a fairly standard speech about honoring veterans and what they were fighting for, paused, and some veterans did a 21 gun salute. He then continued his speech saying something to the effect of:

"But the war against tyranny is not over. Lucid dreamers are still trying to invade our world and sow destruction. That is why I give you the dreambreaker MKVII, with the latest in anti lucid dreamer technology."

A curtain on the stage rose and there was a robot about 12 feet tall. It was made of a beige colored armor material with a glowing green robotic eye on its head, and had a sort of squatted over appearance. It powered up and walked on stage, waving to the crowd with its left hand. Then its eye turned from green to red and its right arm turned into a machine gun aimed at me. The man giving the speech as well as most of the audience looked confused and nervous.

"Some things never change." I thought to myself. I started flying toward the machine. I've been hurt by high caliber weapons, even when I'm lucid. It might just be a schema I've developed over the years, so I was a bit nervous going up against this thing, but I was apparently able to spoof the targeting fairly easily by flying in a sort of corkscrew pattern as I closed the distance. I landed a single super punch directly to the chest and the machine skidded off the stage, across the road (digging two ruts in the concrete with its feet) and into the wall of a brick building, which it crashed through. There was a large dent into its chest but it had remained upright. I thought it was going to continue to fight back, as it tried to raise its machine gun again but the eye flickered out and the right shoulder of the machine caught on fire, and the thing went limp.

I turned around just in time to see one of the veterans on stage pass a high-tech looking bazooka to the man who had been giving the speech, who then said "Time to light the fireworks" He aimed and fired it at me, but I dodged the missile which got stuck in an oak tree behind me. The missile clamped onto it with a claw in its nose. I looked at it for a moment and the missile exploded creating a black hole with arcs of lighting shooting off of it. It began sucking in cars, tree branches, and even people. I was able to, with some effort, keep from getting pulled dangerously close to the black hole. After a few seconds the black hole subsided. Everyone was in a panic now.

I went to the man who had given the speech and landed next to him. He looked terrified. I was going to try and talk him down and make peace with him, as I usually do with hostile dream characters, but I transitioned to another much more mundane dream which I do not recall.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Attending my guru's teachings. I am sitting right in front of him, then there is some initiation in which I am given something, not sure what, Then I am alone with Ioana who teaches me a ritual dance. Then she says we were supposed to have met others again at some new place and that we are late and she runs out to ger her shoes or whatever.
I follow her outside but don't see her anymore. I find myself in a pateo in what seems like a monastery. I feel something weird. I start floating, dancing in the air, moving weirdly, end up on the ground doing sensual moves with some objects in my hands. A bell is placed on my pelvis and with each movement it rings and arouses me. I am getting horny with the dance, when all other students appears with our teacher and I feel embarrassed and stop. But Rinpoche asks some other lama what he thinks of my dance and the opinion is that I did good, considering I just got brief teachings immediately before. Then I learn that it wasn't Ioana who had taught me, but Rinpoche himself, that I had been under some spell to see a different reality and see her in his place.
Now we will continue the teaching, We all walk to inside the building. There are flags hanging and waving everywhere and graffiti with certain symbols I can't decipher on all walls.

I set my alarm for 4:30 for my wbtb. I def was dreaming before that time, but I put all my energy into the time after 4:30. And hey, it payed off!! After waking up at 4:30 I becaming lucid with wild. Again, focusing on my breathing and trying to fall asleep kinda does it for me. This time I started hearing sounds from the apartment next door. Screams and stuff, but the I got the buzzing feeling in my body I tend to get when wilding. So I knew I was on track. The sounds got louder and the visual hallucinations get a bit wilder. Have a hard time transitioning into the dream, so the way I do it is just sit up INSTANTLAY in my bed. This kinda forces a false awakening for me. Well I woke up a minute into the lucid dream. I got startled by something yet again...

This next lucid dream was a dild. Again the content is irrelevant. I got lucid at the very end of the dream I assume, since the dream had been going on for a REALLY long time before I realised I was dreaming. I used the standard nose pinch RC and quickly moved on to a dream goal. While trying to carry out this goal, I woke up.... And this time, yet again, I woke up because my wife was poking me in the face with her elbows while turning in bed lol..... Well.... I'll get longer lucids next time!!!!!

Created Friday 28 December 2018

Two fragments and a short WILD/DEILD loop today.

Scrap Group 1
Working the morning shift in my old job at the gas station. Mom was employed there as well for whatever reasons. Old hot dogs were on the rollers and in several hot food displays. I was about to replace them, but someone had left the next batch out of the fridge for too long, spoiling them. Had to replace the coffee as well.

Walking around in a complex. Mom was there again. Later on, I was attacked by a guided missile (mentally mislabeled as a kamikaze drone). Despite being directly hit, I made it out alive. Still, my left shoulder was dislocated. I called 911, more to make outraged complaints about what happened rather than to seek help.

WILD transition in bed. The covers left me mostly blind, and were impossible to remove. Furthermore, I felt exceedingly tense. With concentration, I floated up. Then, I exhaled heavily, creating a whirlwind. Although I twisted around for a while, I didn't transition. Brief awakening. DEILD. Still nearly blind. I could hearmy brother's voice. I got up, then practiced some ki breath attacks. Another DEILD, less blind this time. I floated out the room, to the kitchen, and up the fridge.

I am inside a vast warehouse with a very high ceiling. It has a sense of isolation, like it is far from much development. It also seems run down; I think part of it is broken down and exposed to the outside. Sand has blown in and blended the indoors and out. Atop towering shelves, product is precariously placed. I think about trying to knock it down by bumping into the shelf, but then think about the real damage that could be done if it fell onto me. The place is so very quiet, emanating silence. I think Melissa is here too. Now, I am outside of the warehouse, rising into the air. I look down and watch everything become smaller as I rise. This compels me to continue rising, and I do so until I am hundreds of feet above the desert dirt below. It’s almost effortless and entirely exhilarating.

I have gone into Beer NV and Dad is here too, seated. The bar counter is shorter (in length and, I think, height), and the tap handles seem closer. Overall, it feels slightly different. As I approach the counter, a friendly girl comes up and asks what I want. I’m not really ready yet, but don’t want to pass up the service while I have it, so I ask her what dark beers they have right now. She starts describing some and pours a sample of one. Dad tries it and likes it. I try it now too. It is very chocolatey. There also seems to be dark residue at the bottom, like a cup of coffee. I ask for this one, and she pours a glass. Dad now gets up to go to the bathroom and seems either off or drunk or both. The lady looks at me, mouthing ‘is he okay?’, to which I nod coolly and confidently and give a thumbs up. I now have another beer - a wheat beer? I talk with Dad a bit, before he leaves. The lady is now pouring me a small glass of Golden Ale, just because. I end up not having time to have any because I leave shortly after Dad. I feel a little bad about leaving it completely full and untouched. I also remember that I didn’t even tip, when I should’ve tipped her well. It then occurs to me that I didn’t even pay. I think about calling them to see if either of us paid. The time is about 11pm.

I am on what seems to be a beach. It is long and open, with soft and very white sand. Melissa is lying on a towel, while I’m a little ways away. I think she has my phone and is doing something on it; I run over to her to talk to her/look at whatever she’s doing.

I am in a larger building (it feels slightly like the warehouse, though there’s also a homey element). There is an opening in the wall, through which I pass. On the other side is a large, open space that seems to have low rows of some kind of crop? There are people walking through the rows, dragging longer bales of hay.

I am staying with Melissa at her house (though it looks different). I’m going to be sleeping on the floor right next to her bed. I am upstairs, while she is downstairs. Throughout the night, I wake up a few times with a disconcerting feeling. When I wake one of the times, I discover that I’ve broken her glasses. I have no memory of doing so, but I know it must’ve been me. One lens is out of the frame and cracked. I notice that the other lens is also heavily cracked, which I hadn’t noticed before. I wonder if she’s been wearing them like this. It still saddens me to think of accidentally breaking them, and think about buying her a new pair. I also remember her other pair. I look up now and see her in this dim room. Comforted by her presence, I hug her. I relay to her the disconcerting feelings.



I’m with Melissa at some food place. We get to the counter and look up at their large menu. It seems to be Mexican food. Melissa orders a few tacos, then I step up to order. I ask the guy for a certain taco, but he says he only has a steak one. I can see the taco I want on the menu, but I don’t care too much, telling him that’s fine. I also add a burrito. He gives me a little container of red hot sauce. He also grabs a bottle of a more orange looking hot sauce. He squirts some towards me, most hitting the counter, but some landing on the floor between my feet and a little bit on my shorts. He seems nonchalant but also like he’s getting a kick out of it. I’m not exactly mad, just a little put off that it got on my shorts.



I am in a parking lot, where Mom has gotten into a verbal fight with Ashley (from the preschool, the one Melissa also worked with). They are yelling at each other, over something unknown, as I reach out to hug Mom and then attempt to do the same to Ashley. She doesn’t let me, so I desist. I then contemplate taking Mom’s side and fighting back. I go over to her silver SUV and tap it a few times with my fist. There is an unstated knowing in her hesitation as I walked over to it that I had intent to damage it.



I am driving up a narrow and winding road on a hill and through a small neighborhood (pretty much a house on each side of the road, i.e. no more than two deep). I’m calling it Stead, even though it looks nothing like it. I hear Dad on the phone with Matt. Dad is declining going to a party tonight - “we’re party people, but just not tonight, period.”

I am in a restaurant with Melissa. The restaurant seems to have some self-service element to it, or at least some food on counters behind glass. After we’ve been seated for a little bit, we get up to get some food. There are a couple 20-something girls working behind the counter; I ask one for some of a salad. They say something about it being really spicy, as if I can’t handle it. I think they may not be giving it to me because of this, but I tell them I can handle it even spicier or something similar. This evidently causes some animosity, but I think they give me some. I notice that they all have darker skin, and I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the way they’re treating me (I’m tempted to think it’s because I’m white). When we go back again, we still get poor service, seemingly deliberately. There is one girl in particular (with darker skin and darker, bushy hair) who is blatantly ignoring us. I think we try to say something and another girl (white, with blond hair) defends her. I don’t know what we’ve done wrong. This is enough now to cause this girl to start ranting at us. She starts going off, and things keep escalating until she is out here by us, tirading. I have some dish of food that I end up setting down so I can record her with my phone. I think she almost kicks the food over. I’m not even upset, just in disbelief at how unwarranted her behavior is. After it’s over, I go back to the counter to file a complaint. I tell one of the girls that I get it, I’ve worked in food service, but there is absolutely no reason she should’ve done that to a customer. Oddly, they happily oblige and hand me a form. I start writing, detailing everything, and it becomes quite long. I run out of space on the thick, brown paper that looks more like a menu and end up writing on a table?

I have gone into Discology. It is a completely different building; the walls seem dark in color and there are a few rows of low, black shelves. David starts talking to me about how he rearranged things? He also has a proposition for me or something like that. I start looking in a shelf and see four Doors records. They have the look of an older pressing that’s been around a while but taken care of. All are familiar expect one; this one is a copy of Strange Days with a completely different cover. I don’t think it says Strange Days anywhere, but somehow I know. It kind of has a lot of things going on, part of it being a car or two and a side profile of Ray. I think about getting it just to have this different edition. I also see some classical. There are a few with thick covers of a solid color [that are actually in the store, as of last time I was in]. I think he’s moved them to this more accessible spot, probably so they can be seen more. I find a multiple LP set of classical performed by a woman composer. It looks near mint, the cover and discs, and is labeled as $1-$2, so I keep it. I’m guessing the price is based on how many of the discs you take? I go to pay for it, but David looks like he’s getting ready to leave, so I’m just going to leave two dollar bills on the counter by his computer.



I am somewhere inside where there are a lot of people milling around. The vibe seems pretty happy. I see some members of the Grateful Dead among the crowd. One is Jerry (his appearance is like that from the late 70s), what I go up to and say ‘how about a Dark Star to open the second set?’ He seems to think it’s a good idea. I then let Bobby? know. I think Donna is here as well. It doesn’t really seem like I’m in the band, but it does seem like I have some influence. Later, the band comes on and Jerry starts a Dark Star but it is soon overridden by one or more others in the band. I’m a little disappointed.

I am seated in some restaurant at a longer table with some of the family. I look at the menu and the drink menu. A pudgy waiter comes over and takes Dad’s drink order. He then looks at me, but I haven’t decided yet. I ask if they have a porter or a stout. He says yes after I say ‘porter’ and then yes again to the stout. I ask for the stout. Dad, sitting across from me, has now done something that makes me extremely irritated. We have our food now, and I pick up my plate and beer and go sit at another table. I position myself so I’m mostly facing away from the other table. I can see Uncle Scott though, and he looks frustrated (possibly at me).




I am outside with some others, walking through a rocky crevasse. You can tell that it’s been developed for climbing, and someone points this out. We now come to a spot that looks like it has not been developed. There is also a grey boulder that is maybe the size of a car, but disc shaped and levitating. There are thin branches or vines hanging from it, and I’m not sure how you’re supposed to climb it. There also seems to be some kind of energy force around the boulder. I walk under it and let myself fall backwards. The force supports me and slightly moves me. Now, it feels as if this must’ve been something I was reading, as I am closing a thin paperback. It was the end, and I know there is more, but I can’t find the sequel as I sort through books on a shelf.

Today i took a nap and i dreamt i was on rocket but i wasn't in space, i was in some planet's stratosphere. I assume it was a large planet because we were travelling around it rather than out of it. It was also cloudy, so i could sense the rocket actually moving and travelling. I don't know at which speed we travelled but it was pretty fast. The rocket was also big. It was like a space station but in the shape of a rocket. Actually various rockets assembled to a big one.

I noticed in our tripulation there was a weird guy that never slept. Then i spied his room when it was sleeping time and i saw he was frozen inside. He changed his appearence and that way i noticed. He was like a white walker from game of thrones. But to me in that context, he was a dangerous ALIEN. After that he changed into his 'original form': it was actually 4 big alien worms disguised into this person (they were bonded with magic i believe). After they separated they all went to the ventilation system. So we tried to isolate the parts of the rocket-ship we thought they were in. However this caused some failures. When we were doing this i was sitting in the captain's cabin driving the rocket, with a seatbelt and everything and i had a window to my right side where i could see other parts of the rocket. As the failures started i could hear like some engines stopping and then i could see things exploding. Those things were like 20-50 meters away from me, and the part of the rocket-ship where i was wasnt exploding yet, but i knew these were fatal failures and i would either explode or the ship would crash, and i also knew that there was no way out of it. I couldn't use a parachute or anything, because it was going so fast that i would die anyway. So i was sitting there thinking, "Omg, im going to die. I wish this was a dream and not reality. But i know this is reality and im done." I was scared and i didn't want to die, but i accepted it. I closed my eyes because there wasn't anything i could do to save myself, so i just waited till the moment i'd die. I was so nervous, because i didn't know how it'd happen, and i wondered what would happen after that. 'Would i still be thinking like i am now?', 'Would the impact (explosion or crash) affect my thoughts right in the moment of death?' 'Would i wake up to some other reality after i die?'. I had my eyes closed and i couldn't calm, thinking that my life was over and that it was my real life. A few moments after i woke up, still like a rock, with my eyes still closed, and no impact ever happened in the dream. Still i woke up scared, but also rested, and i knew it was a dream death and not a real one but i still take it as an experience because the fear was real.