All DJ Entries

Good morning, everybody. I slept about 12 hours last night, in hopes of getting over my cold. I recall three dreams from last night. They're all pretty fragmented, and I'm not even exactly sure what order they came in.

Dream #1

I stood out on some concrete balcony or ledge (like at the head of a concrete wheelchair ramp) a couple meters higher than the road. It was daytime, and I was in a big town, in some area that looked like SoHo in NYC. The streets were cobblestone. The place was empty.

I was looking across the street to a place that looked like a bank next door to a fast food restaurant. I was playing around on my phone. I was trying to look into my bank account to see how much money I had. I may have been out on some trip to a different city or country, and I may have been trying to figure out exactly how much more money I could spend on this trip.

But I couldn't remember the name of my bank. I went over the names of banks (probably not real names) in my head without locating the name of my bank.

At some point I may have figured out the name of the bank, only to discover, contrary to my previous insistence, that it was precisely the bank across the street from me.

I now noticed that there were a lot of cosplayers going into the fast food restaurant next door to the bank. I was curious about these cosplayers.

I was now in the fast food restaurant. The place was packed with cosplayers. Some of them may actually have been dressed up as clowns, like Ronald McDonald, rather than being in cosplay.

Dream #2

I had come down to Mexico with my mom. I was now walking around town by myself. It was daytime, a warm day. I walked down a quiet, narrow street.

I probably went into one store, the floor for which was at the bottom of a few short steps. I may have walked around in the store for a few minutes.

I was now back in the house where my mom was. It was like a house that belonged to "one of our family members" in Mexico. I was in a completely empty bedroom. It may have been later in the night or early the next morning.

My mom came into the bedroom and sat down across from me on the floor. She insinuated that some people had mistaken me for a narc while I'd been walking around the city. Now I was kind of in trouble with these people.

My mom told me, "They say here that a narc is like a dog on a leash, except they say he has a coat-hanger attached, too."

This saying gave me a picture in my head like a chalkboard drawing of a sillhouette-man walking a sillhouette-dog on a leash. The dog also had a coat-hanger sticking up from its back.

I understood the "coat-hanger" to be a symbol for the nice clothes that narcs wore (???).

My mom and I were now downstairs in the living room, which was also empty. My mom told me we had to be very careful now, walking around town, as all these drug dealers would now be looking out for us.

I wondered why on earth people would think I was a narc. I knew that if I even slightly resembed a narc, I wouldn't be coming down to Mexico at this point in time.

But now I remembered that "the cousin of mine," whom my mom and I were down here to visit, actually was a narc. So even if the drug dealers figured out I wasn't a narc, I'd still be hunted down and under suspicion for visiting a known narc.

I now wondered why in the hell my mom had chosen to come down here at this point, when all this dangerous stuff was going on.

Dream #3

I stood behind a tall, thin, young man. The man had a pale complexion and red-brown hair in a squarish, tall haircut. He wore a grey jacket. We may have been in some kind of small, crowded room, having just finished some kind of meeting for young adults.

The young man spoke, and for some reason I said aloud that it was obvious the man was Scottish, given his accent and his manner of expression.

The man turned around. Rather than being annoyed with me, he seemed to assume my observation meant that I had something in common with him.. He asked me what I was.

I said, "All three," which the man took to mean Irish, English, and Scottish (???).

The man said, "Oh, right, right. I wonder why they don't say all four and include the Welsh?"

I responded (or tried to respond?) with the thought that perhaps they were separated by language (???), so that everybody thought of the Welsh as different from "the other three."

(Note, December 13th: I forgot to mention that in waking life I've been reading The Judge, by Rebecca West. Rebecca West is a writer who was active from the 1920s through the 1980s. She's really cool. One thing that really struck me about her is that she is Irish and English on her father's side and Scottish on her mother's side. I took this "Irish-English-Scottish" aspect of West and identified myself with it -- for some reason -- in the third dream.)

Good morning, everybody. I remembered three dreams from last night. But I lost one between waking up and starting this entry.

The "new bacteria" dream is influenced by the NASA announcement about that newly discovered Mono Lake microbe that survives on arsenic instead of phosphorous. I also don't know why I thought in my dreams that bacteria aren't alive. I'm pretty sure it's viruses that are technically not alive or only half-alive.

Dream #1

I was at "my office," which was like the living room of a small house or cabin that might have been located in the woods. There were a few big windows on the walls, letting in plenty of light, possibly through thin, gauzy curtains. The day was probably cold and light grey.

My desk was near the center of the room. I was standing back from it a little bit at first. The desk was cluttered with all kinds of papers and things that looked like mechanisms for gathering data for ecological surveys.

The front door opened and either "my boss" or "a colleague of mine" walked in. He may have been a white man, strong-looking, with a big stomach and a huge beard. He may have been wearing some kind of plaid shirt, suspenders, and a broad-brimmed hat.

I had the understanding that I was probably going to be fired because I was doing a terrible job. I sat down at the desk and grabbed my lunch. I probably shouldn't have been eating at this time, but I decided to eat right now, and to eat like a pig, in defiance of whoever was going to fire me.

My lunch may not have looked much like food. It may have looked like machine parts, or, rather, just one small but chunky, metallic machine part. It was in a clear, Tupperware container about 35cm long, way too big for whatever the small lunch was. I may have been trying to eat the machine part with chopsticks.

I decided that if I was going to get fired for being lazy, I might as well be even lazier while I was waiting to get fired. I saw some kind of "mechanism" that looked like the metal-wound cord for payphone receivers. It may have been partly buried under a pile of papers.

I probably started whining and complaining about something that would prove I wasn't thinking about doing my job at all. I might have complained about some porn website that I couldn't get onto or some rock song that I wasn't able to turn on really loud. (But, now that I think about it, I may not even have had a computer at my desk.)

Dream #2

A view of various "bacteria." It was like seeing a lot of purplish, purple-blue, and pinkish, spidery or web-like shapes stuck in clear cubes like novelty plastic ice cubes.

The "cubes" were being moved before my eyes as if they were being displayed as part of a presentation. But they would often overlap, as if they were just random cubes of ice jangling about with each other in a glass of water.

I heard a voice talk about the bacteria and how they were a new kind of bacteria. They weren't really alive, or they were only half alive. But they had the ability to reproduce.

December 4, 2010
Wake Time: 6:15 AM

AWAKE DREAM LUCID

I cannot recall any dreams as real as this one. To put it simply... It blew my mind! Here it is: I woke up in my bed, feeling the sheets on my body. Then for some reason I decided to look at my hands. I made a fist and my hand looked abnormally small. I thought, Hmm... This cant be right. Then it hit me: I am dreaming! Then I remembered to look at my hands and examine them, while also rubbing them together in order to make the dream intensify in clarity. It worked, and my hands felt so very real! It was very dark in my room and I could not see very well. So I walked over to the light switch feeling my way over. Everything in my room felt exactly how it did in real life. The wood floor on my bare feet, the couch upholstery, and the fabric of my clothing. I turned on the switch in my room, and it did turn on the lights (some people say that lights don't work in their dreams. I find that they always work in mine). I didn't bother to look around though after the light turned on. I just moved on to the hallway outside my bedroom, which was also dark so I had to feel the walls to get through it. Then I got to the stairs and walked down them, while the steps made the same sound they usually do when I descend them. When I got down to the bottom I turned the corner to walk down another hallway in my house. Then I decided that I would see if my dream body felt as real as it does in real life. I felt the sides of my stomach and it tickled a bit, then I felt my legs. Then I had a thought. What if I was sleep walking in real life? To test my theory, I only had to think to myself, I want to go back to my real body. I opened up my eyes. WOW! I wasn't sleep walking. Then I proceeded to retrace my steps from the dream. Everything felt exactly as it did in the dream.

Some out there are probably thinking, Why would you waste an opportunity like that to just walk around your house?? You do that everyday! Well, I think that I didn't understand right then that I could have done anything I wanted to. Also I have been wanting to have a dream that takes place in my new house. I think next time I will try and translocate myself through a door and go somewhere fairly interesting next time. I don't regret this experience at all though, not one bit.

November 23, 2010

Lucid Dream

AWAKE DREAMING LUCID SIDENOTES

This was on a night where I wasn't actually trying to induce a lucid dream. Funny how that happens. Also this happened after I absent mindedly turned off my alarm, and I slept thirty minutes or so after I was supposed to. I had school that day. This all happened inbetween 6:00 AM and 6:31 AM
I was in my old house in the basement. Somebody I knew from school was there and I said hi. It didn't hit me as hard as it usually does but I was then lucid after meeting my friend. On impulse, I decided to start flying. It took little effort to do this. The way I did it though was by looking at the ground and gently jumping, and gravity had no effect on me anymore. I then floated up the stairs hugging my mother who was walking up the stairs, until I floated over her. I went into my living room and did a breast-stroke through the air. It was so fun. Then I remembered what I wanted to do in a lucid when I got the chance: focus on something to see if it gets really clear. So I looked at my laptop's screen. An image began to form and then it became so sharp in focus that I could even see the individual pixels on the screen. It was unbelievable. I was only soon after that it resulted in me waking up.

Good morning, everybody. I remember four dreams from last night.

Dream #1

I was in a big airplane, either in the cockpit or near it while its door was open. In the plane were just me, the pilot, and one of my male friends. The sky outside was grey and wet.

We were taxiing down a runway. We picked up speed, as if we were going to take off. But we weren't getting up enough speed, in my opinion.

I could see from outside and just above the plane. The runway we were on looked way too short for our plane to get up enough speed to take off.

We taxied around the runway roads, clockwise, trying to loop back around and hit the long runway again with a little bit of momentum so we could build up enough speed to take off.

But somehow we ended up (as if we had been travelling counterclockwise) driving the plane outside of the airstrip and onto a strip of road before a large, Victorian-style house. The house was adjacent with the chain-link fence bordering the airport.

A military man in camouflage stood beside the airplane, talking with the pilot, as if he were just standing beside the window of some bus, not a huge airplane. The military man was older, white, tanned, with shortish, square-cut, white hair.

The military man said that the town in which this airport was located was being evacuated soon, anyway. Once it was evacuated, nobody would mind us using the public streets as a runway. That way we could easily get up enough speed to take off.

The military man said, "Heck, maybe even some of the people we evacuate out of the town would like to fly some planes with you!"

Somebody, maybe I, suggested that we get "some of those little planes" (in my mind's eye I saw cone-shaped planes maybe 3-4 meters long, painted white with red triangles pointing away from the nose). The "little planes" could easily get up enough speed to take off from a small runway like this.

We drove the plane away. The military man said he'd order some of "those little planes." He may even have started talking with a younger military man about the order.

It was now night. I stood before the Victorian house, in some little niche set between the wall and the staircase up to the front door. In the niche was an old-style, wooden podium. The podium may have held a big book.

I was probably here to talk to the military man regarding the little planes. I wasn't trying to speed up the order. I was actually trying to figure out what the planes were, to see if they were the right things to use. But I figured my being here to ask about the planes would make me look impatient, and that I'd get on the military's bad side because of it, if I didn't do things the right way.

Somebody came out to talk to me. He was a younger soldier, in formal dress, even a hat (which kind of looked like a Nazi hat). He explained a few things to me about the higher-ups' names. I tried to keep it all in mind.

The man saluted me. I was so surprised that I saluted back, with tears in my eyes (for some reason). Somehow I could see the man reflected in my tears, as if the tears were the surface of sunglasses.

I was alone again. I turned to the book in a frenzy. I had just forgotten everything the man had told me. The high-up military man's name was Wellinghoff. Or was it Norris? I couldn't remember. And I couldn't remember the correct titles of all the higher-ups, either.

Dream #2

I was in a bookstore or library. It had an old feel to it. It was all made of wood. It was open, with a ground level and probably a balcony level running along the walls. The ceilings were very high. The center of the store was mostly small, wide tables with books displayed on the. The walls were lined with shelves.

I saw, from high up, a couple of my female friends. One of them was aw woman I haven't seen since college. I decided to go say hi to them.

To get to them I began climbing down a wooden pole about 20cm in diameter. I was climbing down the pole head first for a way. Then I did some weird kind of fllip move so that I was climbing down feet first.

I ended near some small, tight, spiral staircase, for which this long pole may have served as a support column. The pole seemed to end a couple meters above the ground. I had to jump the rest of the way down. The two women were right nearby.

I slowly, flexibly reached away from the pole. I relaxedly leapt away from the pole, almost as if I were floating away from it. I landed very softly on my feet.

Thinking that the women would think I was showing off with all I had just done (I wasn't exactly sure myself how I had done it), I started talking naturally to act like nothing had happened.

I began fumbling through a couple of books and even something that looked like a mix between a woman's wallet with a tiny mirror on the front. The wallet may have been a dark blue suede, and it may have had some black and white photo of a famous actress or famous work of art on it.

Dream #3

I was in a department store. The store looked kind of cheap and run-down. I was now at the counter, getting my stuff rung up. The person ringing me up was a woman, but I don't know if she was older or younger.

Something went wrong, and the woman needed to wait before she charged me. I decided to walk around the store some more.

Off to the left of the cash register and a little ways away was a rack of really cheap-looking lingerie. For some reason, I decided to look through it. I took a few items off the rack, as if I were either going to buy them or try them on.

At some point, I came to the conclusion that I was in a Victoria's Secret.

I looked down into a plastic tub (?) which had a few stray pairs of panties inside. I figured that if I was buying or trying on the lingerie, I'd also need to try on some panties. So I tried to pick some out.

I remember one pair of panties that was like a thong, pale yellow, with a cottony back and a sheer, net-like front with flower designs on it. Another pair was like briefs. The material was blue like denim. But it had a weird, scaly look and feel.

Just to my left was a window wall. Just beyond the wall was another rack of lingerie. A big, tall, black man in a black t-shirt and sunglasses was fingering through the lingerie. I could see that he was also looking for articles of lingerie to try on.

Dream #4

I was in "my shower," which was a shower-only stall. It was set into the end of the narrow bathroom.

Either my shower curtain had broken or I had decided I'd needed to adjust it somehow. I took the curtain off the rod. Then I tried to put it back on.

I suddenly realized that by taking the curtain off the hook I'd screwed everything up. The curtain was actually just a gigantic plastic bag, like an enormous version of a grocery bag. The bag had been folded around the rod and against the wall (even into holes in the wall?) in so many weird ways that I likely couldn't replicate it.

I figured I'd do my best and try to re-do things. I was up on the wall, looking down on the shower curtain. I don't know how I was up there -- possibly by holding myself in place by doing the splits and holding each foot against the wall? I began working on the gigantic plastic bag.

This is the 3rd dream in a month I was riding a BMX bike! There was a beginning and end to this dream that I only vaguely recall. I had this dream last night:

I was hanging out in my neighborhood and when a white car started to follow me. I remember I rode away on my bike causally at first but he kept coming. So I peddled hard, cut through the park and double backed uphill to my house without getting winded. I completely lost the person who was following me and I clearly remember crossing the street most likely to bump into him while doubling back to my house. He was not there either.

I never got tired and I easily had my bike up to 25mph+ When I reached my block, there was a lot of activity and cars parked on the street. Lots of neighbors were in front of their houses.

In May and July 2010 I spent many nights trying to induce dreams about my house and city, and didn't have one that I recalled. Now I am having regular dreams about my city, and strangely, my old bike! I was fortunate enough to have my own car at age 16, the incorporation of my bike to escape from "threats" is an old dream theme.

In the past I have noticed that dream seeding takes weeks of build up, then often, those planted themes become regular. This happened with the High School dream theme.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG


01:25 GMT

Birds
I am at some place that’s neither home nor a hotel, but I am staying in a room and my mom is in the room next door. As I enter my room, I see two lovely parakeets standing on top of the wardrobe and I call my mom to come and see it. When she arrives, there’s also a cockatoo joining them! I keep my window open in case they want to leave, but instead another pair of parakeets and a little sparrow also join them. I’m thinking if I should buy cages. No! But what about them pooping around? So far, not one pooped, but will they behave that good all the time? As I think about these things, I feel my feet wet and look at the floor and it’s flooded with brown murky water. The worst thing is the incredible amount of plugs I have on the floor about to be submerged by the water. My cat is splshing in the water and I worry he will get an electrical shock. Not worried about me. I soak towels in the water and squeez it on the window to the outside. At some moment the window no longer opens to the outside but to another room and I’m spreading water all over the floor of this room. Then a guy opens the door to this room and comes inside. I say I’m sorry but he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. I then just say that I have a cat and some birds on my room that might accidentally pass to his room and he says it’s ok and sits down on his sofa to watch the news.

03:15 GMT

Meditation fail
Then I guess the same place transforms into a hotel on some floating island or on a cruise boat. I see beautiful aqua blue water throughout the window. It’s a paradisiacal place. But then we’re hit by small tsunamis. Somehow I save this “boat” from turning, but many people just dove on the water and are swimming ashore. I join a couple who’s doing just that but a crocodile is about to attack us and I think I prevent the attack.
On land, we’re all staying at a big dwelling. It’s a lovely night outside, people eat and chat and laugh, under the stars, but I feel extremely lost. I think about sitting outside on a quiet place, meditating, so I go around the house trying to find some silence. But then I see a bunch of cats also hanging around and meowing and I get distracted by them. My friend Zilla comes out of nowhere and tells me I should meditate nevertheless. I tell her is too noisy, but she insists it’s even a better exercise, when there are distractions. I agree and decide to do it, but then wake up.

5:45 GMT

Attacked by dark forces and taken to mysterious city of the elite
Back on that house with the kittens. I became good friend of the couple who owns the place. They are cat lovers and they have outside really nice hideouts for their colony of cats around the house and they treat them well. But there was a female cat they truly truly loved. She one day accidentaly turned on the hi-fi and there was a certain cd on the cd player, with a certain song and from that day on the cat would put this song playing. They never again changed that cd, so she could play the same song over and over. Anyway, it’s morning and I’m going to their bathroom on the basement. I have to dispute the toilet with some other girl who arrived at same time and I offer my turn. They have a second toilet, which is not as nice, door doesn’t close well, but I go there. As I am about to close the door, two tall guys dressed in black suits just materialize in front of me and hold the door. “Come with us!”, "What? Sorry, no". They look like they are not going to let me and I’m saved by my friends, who just pop up very excited “You have to listen to this!” They pass by the guys in suits and drag me to outside. “Listen, listen!”, “It’s the kitty song!”, “But how? Where?” They had no idea, the music was just in the air. I am half-lucid, knowing I'm dreaming but not taking control over it.
I try to follow it, not caring anymore about the men in black, but then my dream is invaded by flashes of really creepy stuff – for example, when I’m almost in tears listening to this beautiful song in the wind, crossing sand dunes, I see this image of a semi-buried dead body in the sand, but as I see it, it also disappears. I try to fight this darkness by focusing on this magic and this love that was flowing before. Then I see black clouds in the sky, approaching, but I realise it’s just black birds. They land a bit further ahead in the sand, so I keep walking through the dunes, holding on to positive thoughts. When I get closer, I see these birds are giant crows, the size of a man, with beaks as large as my arms and still I don’t feel afraid. Only when they start closing me in I get a bit nervous and decide to back away. As I walk back slowly, I see my friends are still on my pursuit and getting closer to me. I tell them to back away, saying it’s dangerous. Then the birds soar and as they almost reach us, it gets darker and the sea rises. We have water by the knees, making it harder to run. Then the birds disappear but from the sea comes a kind of army of big frightening dark apes. Each of them has a monstrous version of the face of the specific person they attack. I decide to fly now to escape them, but then I see one with my face and she just jumps on me and knocks me down to the ground.Everything goes black.
I then don’t know if I am awake or still asleep, because I feel my body lying down, but I see nothing.
Slowly I realise I'm still in the dream, because I feel the sand under my body, but lucidity starts fading and the dream takes over me. I feel tall grasses all around and also warm bodies. I choose to lie still because I don’t know if the ape-monsters are still around. Slowly I start to see some shapes and then the sun rises. Through the tall grasses I see what looks like an army picking up those who are lying down. I see a wooden pathway (those to walk through the dunes) and I manage to slide to a hole in the sand under it. A girl next to me grabs my shirt and totally speechless opens her eyes wide, like totally panicking and saying “Don’t leave me here!” But I can’t help her. I see them taking her and others away. Hidden, I manage to approach their “operation centre” – they have trucks and trains to take people away in groups. There’s a small group standing in line, waiting to be shipped somewhere and I hear them saying “Those guys over there are lucky. They’ll actually have a nice life, near the elite. They’ll be able to study and have good jobs, working for them. The rest of us will be brutally enslaved.”
I then see the group they are referring to and I spot a friend of mine, Eva, among them. They are inside a train carriage and I manage to sneak in and pretend I’m one of them. I want to know more. I want to find out more. I sit by her side and she asks me what am I doing there. The others look unfriendly, clearly thinking if they should report me or not, but in the end they don’t care. I ask her what she knows about this and she just tells me she knows we will be taken to a big city. The travel lasts day and night and we pass by some city at night and we stop at a big improvised tent in the middle of some deserted area, during the day, for eating and resting. She is good at extracting information from people, so then she comes to me with a list of names of places we will be going through until our final destination and they all sound Egyptian-like and I can't recall them. All I do remember was that final destination was Anunaki.

7:00 GMT

Type: Regular dream.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

In this dream, I was in my bedroom at my father's house. My room is about 15x15 feet with cherry hardwood, beige walls, and dark wooden baseboards and trim. On the wall facing the outside of the house was a larger window with white trim. If you looked outside, you would see the backyard and a man-made lake. The white plastic blinds of the window were shut in the dream, so I couldn't see what was outside, but the room was almost exactly like it was in real life. Except for one thing - it was connected directly to an unknown room by a sliding wooden door.

This door, at the onset of the dream, was almost fully closed. The room on the other side wasn't emanating any light (unlike my bedroom, which was lit dimly, like in most dreams), so I couldn't see anything past the door. I was a few feet away from the door at first, and then I walked closer, looking into the darkness. Then I heard a strange, high-pitched buzzing noise. A fly buzzed out of the opening and landed on my dresser, the only piece of furniture on that side of the room - it was made of horizontal, black wood, and was slightly longer than the actual thing, which was five feet across. It landed upside-down and didn't move. I walked towards the dresser, saying, "ew", and looked at it. I crouched down to get a better look, and realized that it was dead.

I stood up and saw two more flies buzzing above my head, with no idea where they came from. But after a few moments, they flew away, into the dark room. The door was more open than it was before, almost halfway.

This dream didn't have a creepy or disturbing feel to it, despite the content.

Record my 50th LD this night. I think my actual count is off by a few but it's close enough. So yay me!

Playing Cards
In the desert, maybe in the wild west like Red Dead Redemption. I am with a friend around a campfire and there's also another DC. He's a middle-aged man. In the dream I recall thinking he looked like a well-known actor but I can't recall who. We start playing cards. My friend and I play a few rounds of Texas Hold 'Em. Then the third man is dealer and he deals out a hand of 7-Card Stud, which my friend and I don't really like. Then we play a different game where we are dealt out a lot of cards, like a whole deck. I ask it he dealt too many. Recall fades.

Sex DEILD Chain
Method DEILD
Lucidity C
Vividness B
Control C
Recall is a bit hazy. DEILD from a previous dream that I don't recall. I enter the dream in an FA, looking through my sleep mask at my bedside clock. I try to move my limbs but it either wakes me up or triggers an FA. So I lay patiently without moving, just waiting and staring at the clock. I begin to become sleepy and close my eyes which triggers yet another FA.

Now I'm in a different bed and the stability of the dream is better. It's a very large bed and there is a huge pile of laundry on it, almost up to the ceiling. I'm laying on one corner of the bed. I roll out of bed and put on my glasses. The dream becomes clearer and more vivid. I walk out of the bedroom. Outside, the hallway is an open balcony overlooking the entryway and living room of the house below. I don't recognize this house at all.

Confused and disoriented, I encounter an attractive girl who I don't recognize. I grab her and we do the business. The dream destabilizes and I wake. I DEILD back into a similar scene with a different attractive and anonymous girl. I lead her back to the bedroom with the bed covered with laundry and proceed. This cycle repeats 3-4 times, connected by a mix of FAs and DEILDs. Mostly I just recall that the sex was great.

Work and Pizza
I'm at work, which is surprisingly rare in my dreams. I sitting in one of the pens instead of my real office. I recognize many real coworkers sitting near me. CG is walking back and forth between me and LM, because LM and I don't get along. CG is calling him "Steel" for some reason. Anyway, I'm begin especially sarcastic and disruptive.

I walk to the kitchen where I see one box of pizza so I take a slice and return to my desk. Moments later, I return to the kitchen just as a pizza delivery man is dropping off another pizza box. This happens a few times, with a delivery man dropping off a single pizza just as I am there to take a slice.

Good morning, everybody. I recall three dreams from "last night" -- although these dreams all come from about the last hour that I was in bed.

Dream #1

I was in "my house," which was a two-floor house. I was in a bedroom on the second floor of the house. The curtains were pulled back. Outside, the sky looked grey and cold.

I may have just moved into this house. I was kind of surprised that I had so much space. I'd never had this much space in my life. Still, the place wasn't huge. It was two floors, but it was rather narrow.

Nevertheless, as I walked down the stairs to the first floor, I thought that people would see a guy like me living in a place like this, and, getting jealous, they'd try to break into my place.

I tried to think of what I could do to prevent a break-in. I thought I would never use anything I owned while sitting near a window on the second floor. That way nobody would ever see that I actually owned anything.

I thought that the only thing I would do on the first floor would be to watch TV, even though I thought that would be dangerous, too. But I figured that everybody owned a TV. So why would anybody want mine, too?

I considered what I would watch on TV. I wondered if I had cable TV. I hadn't owned a TV in quite some tiime. Maybe everybody got cable TV nowadays. Or maybe, I thought, this place was like a hotel. And all hotels had cable TV. I may have considered watching some porn.

Dream #2

I was in a living room of an apartment with a group of friends, none of whom I recognize. The friends were all young, pretty cool. The living room was a little dim, as if it were lit only from a light in the hallway, around a corner.

I sat on the floor before a coffee table that was set against the wall. A stereo stood on the coffee table. Cluttered before the stereo were huge binders full of lists of karaoke songs.

I had one book open and was flipping through the pages, trying to find a particular song. But the book was full of pictures instead of titles. Each page may have had two or three CD-sized pictures on each side. One picture I remember of a person (man?) standing over a dark landscape under a purple sky.

There were so few pictures per page and so few pages in this book, that I thought the chances were slim of my song being in this book. And I couldn't figure out how the songs were arranged: not in alphabetical order, but in some kind of picture order -- if they were, in fact, in any order at all.

I concluded that my song wasn't in this particular book. Somebody may have taken the book from me. I shuffled through some of the other books. I may now not even have been able to remember what song I wanted to sing.

The covers of the binders were all really awesome. They had all kinds of flaming designs of people,guitars, and monsters. Each binder held song lists for a specific genre of music, and the picture on the front represented the genre. Sometimes the picture actually had the name of the genre written above it in fancy lettering.

I finally chose a certain binder, figuring this was the genre of music I wanted to sing, so that the song I'd been looking for all along would probably be in this binder.

Dream #3

I was at "my house," an apartment on the upper floor of a big building. The apartment probably had a living room and two or three bedrooms.

The apartment was busy with a few other people, probably all older than me, some of them somewhat older. There weren't a lot of people in the apartment, but the craziness of their actions made it feel like the place was stuffed with people. The living room was bright, frenetic, and totally messy.

The apartment was all mine, but the people who were here right now were trying to move in and stay here. For some reason, I really wasn't doing much about it.

Just off from the living room was a small, bright hallway. At the end of the hallway was a little niche, in which was set a white, wood chest of drawers. The chest was a little more than a meter tall, and maybe 2/3 of a meter wide.

Some old, short, fat, white man with a balding head, scraggly, grey hair, and a loose, stubbly face, had one of the drawers open and was crowding me away from it. I was fighting the man, trying to get him out of my stuff. This was my chest, and the man had no right messing around with it.

But the man kept shoving me off. He was pouring stuff into the top drawer from out of a garbage bag. The old man himself may have been wearing a weird outfit that looked like a mix between a potato sack, long underwear, a mattress, and a garbage bag.

I looked into the drawer. It looked like there were a bunch of small, empty,glass vials inside. It looked like vials that had once held drugs. I got really mad. Was this guy pouring garbage bags full of drugs and drug paraphernalia all over my house?

Good morning, everybody. My dream recall has been terrible over the past couple days. It's probably because I've spent hours each night watching all the different versions of RC Succession's Transistor Radio on YouTube. Hitto kyoku!

So these entries will be pretty fragmented.

Dream #1

I was watching a scene like a theatre production or a large-scale movie as if I were actually in the environment without participating in it.

The scene focused on a woman who stood atop an enormous, colorful temple, which was somehow inside a much larger building. The temple was as colorful as a Buddhist or Hindu painting. It was decorated to the last inch with beautiful flowers in plates and vases. There may even have been colorful foods decorating the tables.

The woman walked out of a room at the top of the temple, turned right, then sat on her knees on a cushion, facing the wall to the left (her left) of the doorway. (The doorway and the top room looked more like in a Mayan temple, not a Hindu or Buddhist painting.) My view was from behind, above, and just to the left of the woman.

The woman didn't look normal. She was probably a dark blue. She probably didn't have a complete form. Her body may have had a stony look, like Jack Kirby's version of the Fantastic Four's The Thing, except with a feminine figure. She may also have had chakra markings delineated on her somehow.

The woman was breaking some kind of law or rule by meditating. Apparently meditation was forbidden. So now there was a group of high officials heading out to capture and arrest the woman. But there was also a group of men who had taken it upon themselves to protect the woman. She was a hero to them, possibly because her meditation had some kind of power.

I was now among the group of men, acting as a part of the group, not just watching. The men looked big and tough. One of them may have looked like Russell Crowe.

We stood at the bottom of the temple, before a beige-colored stone gate. But it also felt like we were standing in a messy living room.

I was happy to be helping the men. But I was also afraid. I was afraid of getting hurt by the officials. But I was also afraid of looking stupid with my usual clumsy actions. I may have said something regarding all this. The man who looked like Russell Crowe may have looked at me in disgust.

Dream #2

I was in my great-grandmother's living room. The room was filled with dim, yellowy light. The floors were strewn with sheets and blankets.

I was with a few other people, possibly co-workers. We had just finished some task. Now we had to go to another task. But we had to change our clothes first. We were all running around to different rooms, as if playing a game, looking for the new clothes to wear.

I was in my great-grandma's guest room (which us kids would sleep in when we'd spend nights at her house). I was taking off my pants or putting new pants on when I noticed that C, a guy from my work, was in the living room. I could see him from the bedroom because the walls now, apparently, only went up to about my waist.

I thought C was going to accuse me of not doing any work because I was in the middle of changing my pants. I thought I would explain to him that changing my pants was actually a part of my job.

But suddenly a cat with a black body and white belly and paws jumped down through the circle my arms were making with the pants. C was amazed by what the cat had done. I was amazed, too. It seemed so random that the cat would jump down through my arms like they were a hoop.

Either I or C may have wondered if the cat had been trained to do that.

Dream #3

I was out on a street corner across the street from "my apartment building." It actually looked like the street corner at the beginning of Youth without Youth, except with really wide streets, as if the streets were somehow an entire horizon.

There were a lot of young men and women out on the street with me. They were all beautiful and well-dressed.

I had thought that this might have been a bad time for me to go out and do whatever it was I needed to do. Either it had been too early or the sky had been too dark due to clouds or else the clouds in the sky had been presaging a storm.

But now I looked up into the sky to watch it clear smoothly into wispy, white clouds. I was amazed. But I also had that inconvenienced feeling, like when you realize that you now have to do something for sure, no excuses. I thought that if everybody knew how lazy I was about getting moving, they'd dislike me.

I was about to cross the street with everybody else. But the sky suddenly clouded over heavily. It looked worse than rain: it looked like a terriible storm.

I crossed the street back toward my house instead of heading in everybody else's direction (which would have been crossing to the corner caddy-corner from my house). It was already beginning to rain.

I thought something like how lucky I was to be so close to my place, especially because I hadn't brought an umbrella with me. My building was a beautiful, peach-colored, stone building.

I remembered that there was a woman who lived in my apartment with me. I knew she was planning to go outside for something she had to do. I thought I would warn her not to come out. The sky was almost black. It looked like the storm would be terrible.

But I knew the woman would go out anyway to do her thing. I may have thought that I would at least offer her my umbrella.

(Good morning, everybody. This is a really long entry. Sorry.

I remember three dreams from last night. The first two dreams happened sometime between midnight and 5 AM. The third dream was between about 5:30 AM and 7 AM.

I became lucid in the third dream, and sustained my lucidity for quite a while. But I think it was mainly because I “conserved my energy” and didn’t really try anything out of my normal range of dream-activity.)

Dream #1

I was coming back to “my apartment.” I was walking through a building that itself was as big as a small neighborhood. I walked through one area, a huge room with tall ceilings and wood walls.

As I walked through the area, I went past a young man and woman who were possibly standing outside the door to the woman’s apartment. The door may have been pale blue.

The woman was very pretty, with copper-colored skin and long, straight, black hair. The man was handsome, white, tall, with blonde hair about down to his shoulders. He wore a grey, wool cap and some winter clothes.

The man was telling the woman that he would make sure her move went smoothly. She was apparently moving to another place, and she was nervous about it. I gathered, from the man’s speech to the woman, that the man would make sure she didn’t experience the same harassment she’d experienced at her present apartment.

But as I was walking past the couple (I didn’t actually get very close to them, and I had to exit via another door into another room in order to get to “my building”), the man and woman expressed some kind of concern that I was going to get them in trouble. It was as if, as well as the woman experiencing harassment from some group of people, the man and the woman had themselves been accused of causing trouble in their neighborhood. They thought I was the kind of person who would get them in trouble again.

I walked softly and quickly through the door, trying my best to give an impression to the man and woman that I was nice, that I wouldn’t harass the woman, and that I wouldn’t get the man and woman in trouble – in other words, that I would just mind my own business.

I walked into the next area, which was like a mix between some completely forgotten room or corridor in an enormous mansion and a back alley. A light shone from high above, and at the heights of the room, it was dark as night, though it was light enough near the floor. The walls were wood, and the floor had a pale, blue-grey carpeting. But there was junk everywhere, like tattered cardboard boxes, wadded up pieces of wrapping plastic, and other garbage. There seemed to be turns and staircases here and there, leading up to other “apartment buildings.”

I walked toward my building, which didn’t even have a front door, just a staircase leading up to a winding ramp into darkness. My landlord, an older, black man or woman, stood at the top of or on one of the curves in the ramp. He/she apparently knew I was coming home, so he/she was waiting to welcome me back. I may have been away for a few days, doing something like visiting my family.

I didn’t realize, but the young man had followed me all the way here. My “building,” it turned out, was the building that the young woman would be staying in. I thought that for sure the man would now be panicked. He and the woman had been so afraid to begin with that I would get them in trouble. And now it looked like I had “reverse followed” him all the way to the woman’s new residence.

I tried to act natural and cool, to make the man understand I wasn’t going to do anything mean to him or the woman. I spoke a little bit with the landlord, in a kind of easy, happy tone. I then said I was going to head on in to my room and get a little rest.

As I headed toward my room, through a door along a dim balcony facing at an odd angle to the ramps and the long alley-corridor, I heard the landlord now speaking with the young man. I thought, Why not prove that I’m a good guy, and let the young man see inside my room? Once he sees how lived-in my place is, he’ll know I’ve been here a few years, I’m a decent guy, and that I won’t do anything rude or mean to the woman or him?

So I called attention to the landlord and the young man. I had them come over to my room. I opened the door to my room. The room was humongous and dim. But I could tell, just by glancing inside, that the room was a complete mess – a disaster! Plus, the place just let out a horrendous smell, like tons and tons of socks that hadn’t been washed for months!

I quickly closed the door and told the landlord and young man nevermind, that I must have forgotten what I wanted to tell them. They walked away, kind of disappeared.

I suddenly felt suspicious of the young man. I felt that, now that he’d seen even just a little into my room, and he’d seen where I live, that he’d try to break into my room. I closed my door. I walked slowly away, as if I was trying to put on some kind of show that I didn’t really live in this apartment.

I suddenly recognized that, just beyond my door, the wall to my room only went up to about the middle of my chest. You could see inside the room just by standing out on the balcony. I looked inside, hoping that nothing of value would be easily spotted, prompting the young man to break into my house and steal things.

All I could see, though, anywhere, was a bunch of clutter and garbage. I felt like there was no way I could have left my place this way when I’d left. Had I been that neglectful of things? Or had I been gone so long that my place just kind of dissolved into these shambles of itself?

I walked around the corner of the balcony, now facing some dim corner of the alley-corridor directly, but still having a good view into my room.

Down below, in my room, I saw a huge, pale-blue, L-shaped couch. It was completely torn up. The stuffing of the couch was bloating out of the cushions, and a black, metal frame jutted out the edges.

Suddenly, my mother burst out from the inside of the couch. She scrambled out of the couch cushions. She then rabidly twitched and scratched against the couch, tearing it even more to pieces. She looked terrible, like she’d become some kind of wild animal.

I was terrified by this. But I quickly became indignant. Who had allowed my mother into my apartment? I ran down the balcony to find someone to complain to.

I ended up on some dark hilltop, under a small tree. It was pitch black night, but I could see, as if a car from somewhere were shining its lights on the scene. There were a few people wandering around, possibly Hispanic.

I found my father, who was almost cartoonishly wide. He was also dressed somewhat like a clown, in red clothes with pink and orange polka-dots. He may even have worn a clown-nose.

I yelled at my dad, “Why did you let my mom into my apartment?”

My dad gave me some kind of excuse that sounded half-hearted but official, so that I couldn’t really argue against it.

Dream #2

I was in a subway station, waiting for the train to come. I was in a far-off, unfamiliar neighborhood, and I had been doing some kind of activity that made me tired and ready to go back somewhere familiar.

The subway station was more like the lobby for a building like a hospital. I sat at a table in an area that looked like a makeshift café. The serving counter may have been in a small room, off to my right. Behind me, there may have been the main lobby area, large and bright, with a lot of sunlight flowing through the window-walls.

To my left was a wide doorway, through which I could see one subway platform. Through a kind of dim, plasticky window at the opposite end of the room and in front of me, I could see another subway platform.

I pulled out a book, crossed my legs, slumped in my chair, and started reading. A couple of teenage boys sat down a couple of tables away from me. They were making jokes with each other, pretty relaxed. They seemed cool. But for some reason, I didn’t want them to notice me. I thought they might start trouble.

Suddenly I could see, from some kind of reflection, that the train on the platform to my left was coming. It seemed to be coming without warning and very quickly. In a rush, the boys and I stood up from our tables and ran to the platform.

But I didn’t want the boys to know I got on this train. I felt that if they knew this about me they could hurt me somehow. So I tried to act like I wasn’t getting onto this train.

But when I got out to the platform (which was huge, wide, with tall ceilings, nothing like in NYC), the train wasn’t there. I heard the rushing of a train to my left. I looked and saw, down the platform, and up at the top of a tall staircase, a different train arriving at another platform. Was it just that train I’d heard? But I could have sworn I’d seen the train arrive on this platform, as well as heard it.

I looked down into the well for the train and tracks for my platform – and was terribly shocked! Instead of tracks, the floor was completely empty, trackless, and painted a bright yellow. There were no tracks! No train could ever have arrived here! But I was sure this was where the train was supposed to be – where I had actually seen it arrive!

I felt terribly foggy all of the sudden, as if I had fallen into a different world.

I heard the train on the second platform, off to my right, arriving. I thought I’d take that train. But I knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere close to where I wanted to go. I knew I’d just have to take this train, at this platform, whenever it came, no matter how long it took.

So I went back into the café area to go back to reading my book.

Dream #3

I was in my great-grandmother’s house. I had apparently been there for a long time. The place looked nothing like it had looked while my great-grandmother was alive: it was dim, grey-blue, and strewn garbage, household items, and even streams of toilet paper.

I walked around in the kitchen and dining room, possibly picking up and eating and drinking pieces of food and drink that had been left out for a long time on dirty plates and in dirty, grimy cups. There may also have been dirty, rusty knives, or something like that, somewhere.

I walked back into the living room. I felt like I had isolated myself in my great-grandmother’s house for so long. It had been days. Here I’d been, back home all this time, and I hadn’t visited my mother once!

I thought I’d give her a call and let her know I was at my great-grandma’s house, and that she could come visit me or maybe even pick me up so we could go somewhere to visit with each other. But I hesitated – I now felt so guilty having neglected my mother for all these days, that I knew just calling her would cause me a lot of heart-breaking pain.

I was suddenly in “my bedroom” at “my house.” The room was clean, a little barren. Nice sunlight flowed in through the window. It was cheerful enough. But it felt somehow lonely – not just lonely, but sterile, padded.

Something about this feeling made me realize I was dreaming. I realized I was now lucid. I told myself to keep calm and just go exploring this place as if it were a real environment.

(Oddly enough, when I became lucid, I may have “transformed” into a tallish, white, young man with tanned skin, blue eyes, and short-shaved, blonde hair. I have no idea why.)

I walked out of the bedroom and into “my living room.” I was in a suburban house. The house looked small and nice. But it was completely empty. It had thick, brown carpet.

I walked very slowly, to keep my emotions calm. I was heading for the front door. This was a kind of challenge for me, and I knew (even in my dream-state), that I had to keep calm in order to do this. I knew, I remembered (the truth, not a false memory – I mean, insofar as etc., etc.) that when I’d become lucid indoors in the past, my lucidity would end as soon as I walked outside, as if I hadn’t believed my imagination could “create” an outdoor space.

I got to the door. It had a strange bolt-lock on it, which I thought was kind of over-doing things. I worked the lock out and pulled open the door.

It was a bright, sunshiny day in a suburban neighborhood. I told myself to remain calm, remember this was all a dream, and just explore the place like it was a real environment.

My front yard was a tangle of flowery vegetation and rough, dark shrubs. There was a driveway off to my right, with a big, brown, 1970s-style car.

A blonde man, very tan, with a long tangle of hair and beard, was messing around near “my car.” He looked crazy, and I was afraid of him. But I was also pissed that he was messing around my car. So I yelled at him, “Hey! Hey! What are you doing?”

The crazy man hunched up (he never really stood) and turned toward me. He shouted and growled and barked all kinds of weird things at me and started rambling toward me violently. For some reason, he was holding a Panini and a paper plate in his hands, as if he had been eating a Panini when he’d seen my car and decided to vandalize it or rip it off.

It seemed as if the crazy man were going to try to invade my home. So I yelled at him, “Don’t you come near!”

The neighbor from the house to my left, an Asian man, in his late 30s or early 40s, wearing glasses, a pink-red polo shirt, and khaki shorts, walked out of his house and into my yard. He’d heard the commotion and was coming to help me.

I yelled again at the crazy man to back off and not to come anywhere near my home. But I also tried to make it seem to my neighbor like I had the situation under control. I felt like this crazy man was somehow important to whatever I was supposed to learn from this lucid dream. So I had to keep him at a distance without scaring him away entirely. I also wanted to make sure my neighbor didn’t scare away the crazy man.

Off to my right, in my garden, I saw a strange plant that looked like a Cleome topped with a cabbage. The cabbage was pink and white, like Cleome flowers.

Somehow, either my yelling my neighbor’s yelling had finally scared away the crazy man. He ran off. I, and possibly my neighbor, ran after him.

He ran down toward a chain link fence that ran along the crest of a kind of tall, kind of steep, cliff-like hill. I was calling to the crazy man to stop. I wasn’t trying to do him harm. But my neighbor was running faster than me, and he was chasing the crazy man quite violently.

The crazy man found a bent-up part of chain-link fence and crawled under it. I followed. I saw the crazy man run down the steep, brown hill-face, jumping into a shallow, muddy river or creek at the bottom.

My neighbor was still ahead of me, intent on capturing the crazy man. But once the crazy man was in the water, he did something to himself so that my neighbor could no longer see him. He had changed his wild, blonde hair into a weird, pink, green, and white, spiky flower style, looking like a hairdo-mix of a Cleome and a lotus. He ducked down low in the creek so that only his head was above water.

But I could still see that it was the crazy man. I wondered why my neighbor couldn’t. Nothing was different about the crazy man’s face: it was just his hair that looked like a lotus floating on the water.

I could see that the crazy man was drifting toward a group of copper-skinned, black haired children who were playing and splashing about near the creek’s banks. I thought that it might be a good idea to get the crazy man away from the children. He had gone over to them to blend in with them until we left. But I had a feeling that if he suddenly went crazy again, he could hurt the kids.

But now the crazy man and my neighbor were gone. I stood in some rocky area, looking down to the kids playing in the creek. At some point I looked over to my right and saw that there was a subway station, just jutting in a platform out of the hill, as if it were half-finished, forgotten. But it also looked new, clean, modern, even futuristic. And it was functional.

I saw some kids, maybe pre-teen or teenage, playing around near the platform, waiting for the train. I was up near the top of the hill now (which, instead of being muddy or earthy, was now rocky). I was at a pretty level view with the platform and with the kids. I hoped they wouldn’t notice me, because I didn’t want them to start trouble with me.

My emotions got so unstable that I felt my lucidity fading away.

But instead of the dream continuing, not lucid, everything blacked out. I told myself, you’re losing your lucidity. You’re waking up altogether. Go back to being in the dream, and being lucid.

So now I was back in the dream, lucid. I lay, stomach down, over some ledge of rock, looking down to some of the kids playing in the creek. They may have been a boy and a girl. They noticed me and started handing me toys to play with with them. One of the toys was a plastic horse.

I played around with the horse a little bit, then handed it back to the kids, who went back into the water.

I walked into the subway station. Inside, it seemed like it had become night. The station was lit gently with a kind of street-quality, greenish, fluorescent flood-lamp. The walls were a brownish stone, and the floors were some kind of granite-like grey. There was a downward staircase in the center of the lobby-area, and there were a few different corridors leading off from the main lobby-area.

I walked down one of the corridors off to my right. I heard a bunch of teenage kids who sounded like they were joking and having a good time. I decided that I should probably talk with the kids instead of being nervous and shy around them. This was a dream, and I was here to explore whatever I ran into.

So I saw the kids. They were a group of white boys and girls, dressed in kind of loose baggy sweaters and wool caps. They were making a bunch of jokes which struck me as intelligent and funny. I thought I’d talk to them. But they really didn’t pay any attention to me. So, rather than trying to hard to get their attention and getting hostile attention, I walked down another corridor.

But now I heard somebody calling for me. I wound around through the corridors, back to the area where the kids had been. It had definitely sounded like one of the boys, calling me back to be part of the group.

But when I got back to the area – something like a lobby, with a long, wooden counter at the front of the room, and a tall, nice painting on the cinder-block wall to my left – there were no kids, only two women. The women were both naked. They walked toward me, side by side.

The woman on the right was very tall, maybe a foot taller than I (or “I” in the dream). She was naked, but she wore a dark-blue plume of feathers as a headdress and a spray of dark blue feathers around her waist and back. She looked like a burlesque performer.

The woman on the left was still taller than I, maybe by an inch or two. She was pale, with long, curly, light-red hair. The women were both offering themselves to me for sex. I chose the shorter woman.

The woman stood right in front of me, almost to the point of pressing up to me. I asked her a question, and she replied. Satisfied, I began kissing her body.

We had sex in two or three different positions. But in one position I realized I was just doing a terrible job, and that I must just be making a weird situation for the woman, even though she did at least appear to be having fun. Regardless, I got so ashamed of what I perceived as being my stupid clumsiness that I woke up.

Dream 1-- Home Training with Ninjas and Cats

This dream starts out in a miscellaneous location that I cannot recall off the top of my head. What's happening is that me and the other "ninjas" in Ninjitsu are doing drills by lining up and then all completing the same technique, then running to the back of the line. I don't remember actually completing any technique, but I remember looking at the line, and watching people do it. I remember looking at Sensei, standing with his arms crossed and not looking particularly impressed by anything that was going on.

Suddenly, the drills are still going on, but now they are in my house-back-in-Dallas's kitchen. I think there was this white ladder-like thing that people had to climb before they could perform the technique. I sat down in a chair, eating some chips while they all did the technique because I didn't want to stand in the line, but I was still prepared to have my turn I think.

After a while, the scene changes again, and all the people are gone, it ends up being night time, and there is black cat rubbing up against me. Now, I have a cat in my house, but she is orange and white striped. When this black cat starts touching me, I turn into what I have deemed "passive observer." This state is a crucial dream sign for me and is basically where I no longer identify with a body or actually do much of anything. Instead, I am just thinking about what is going on and watching the dream as if it were a movie that I have no control over or stake in.

So, this cat rubs up against my leg, and I use my hand to pet its head. I get this thought that's like I wonder if cats like to be handled this way and what would be the best way for someone to pet me if I were a cat. So I stop petting the cat and it rubs up against my leg again, presumably to get pet again. I am thinking now about why I would rub up against someone's leg if I were a cat (my dreams can be super-analytical sometimes because that's who I am in real life). I don't do anything and the cat remains unmoving, while still contacting my leg, for about 4 seconds, realizes it won't get pet, and then walks away.

Then, it comes back with two other cats in tow. This part of the dream is really confusing, because I was semi-playing with the cats, and they randomly became kind of hostile. I think this dream brought me back to my childhood where I would mess around with and abuse my cat.

I try to incorporate my dreams into my real life because I think they are intimately connected. I try to find those connections within my dreams and see what my subconscious is trying to get me to remember or do in the future.

Anyway, I'm still in my kitchen and these three cats are just walking around. I have a blanket and I playfully throw it over one so that it is completely covered. I have done this to my cat many times, and it would freak out, and sprint up the staircase to hide under a bed. I found this really funny at the time but looking back it was pretty abusive and silly.

So in the dream, the cat doesn't really find that amusing. I take a hold of the blanket again, and the cat starts walking toward me. For some reason I have this thought that the cat is being hostile, so I start backing up until I back up into a wall. The cat continues to approach me so I raise the blanket up to my neck to protect myself. The cat, who looks like a male version of my cat at home, starts to get up on his hind legs and climb the blanket with his front paws. I start to get scared about what would happen and that this cat could potentially claw the shit out of my face.

I think at this point I wake up.

Dream 2-- Detention in the College Kitchen

This dream was rather long, but I can only remember bits and pieces of it.

The general setting is that I am in a cafeteria, and I am serving detention for I don't know what. There are DCs that all seem to me to be relatively dumb but also surprisingly cool. As in, I become a passive observer by analytically assessing the situation and determining that I am not as cool as everyone around me and I'm trying to notice their movements/gestures/words so that I can copy them in the future. I don't really DO much of anything in this dream except observe while the action happens all around me. In my opinion, it's not awful because I'm really interested in figuring how I see the world, but at the same time it serves as a constant reminder about who I am in real life because I will totally zone out during conversations or parties just because I'm so caught up in my head.

Anyway, enough about my problems this is a DJ. So, I am in this large cafeteria with brown tables and yellow walls. It doesn't remind me of any place in particular, but definitely looks like a cafeteria. The first DC I run into is this guy with a buzz cut and a moustache. He reminds me of a thin version of Ryan from my Spanish class, who I don't really talk to except this one time where he brought up that he really likes to smoke weed. I guess it stuck with me.

Thinking about it, this dream is really scattered and fuzzy. The event that stands out to me the most is that there was this poster that someone gave to either me or my friend as a gift in the dream. It was a green poster board with magnets in the shape of dicks placed on it. There were three dick-magnets on the green posterboard, and the guy said that combined they managed to accurately point north or something.

There were marking on the posterboard and I wanted to measure it and figure out if it was legit. I took out a six inch ruler, which I apparently had in my hands, and starts to measure to angle of the distance between the dick-magnets or something. As I got more and more into it, I forgot what I was doing, and I would be blinking and seeing that more pencil would appear on the board even though I wasn't actually drawing anything. I thought the dick-magnets were really funny when I first saw them.

Dream 3-- Tim Jang and Frat Guys Make me Sleepy

This dream was short. It was night time and I was hanging out with Tim Jang, from my high school, and frat guys from college. I always feel out of place in these kind of dreams, where there is partying and alcohol and drugs just because I have abstained from them for the sake of trying to meditate and find my higher self.

So, they are smoking weed and are probably cross-faded at this point, we all walk into an apartment. I am totally passive observer at this point, and I am tired. I can recognize that I am tired because my thoughts feel really heavy and incoherent, my eyes are only 75% open. So I decide to lay down on the bed even though everyone else is still having a party and doing their own thing. I have regrets about doing this even in the dream but I feel like I have no choice because I am so tired and am not conversing with anyone anyways.

When I wake up, all the frat guys are gone but Tim Jang is there. I don't really understand where we are and I look down to see my Halloween costume, which was a large white board acting as my Fbook wall, totally covered in the marks from the guys. The board in my dream didn't really resemble the board of real life because it had two actual status updates from me, which I couldn't read. Something I've found interesting, though, is that text in my dreams is usually legible and will actually keep stable when I look away and look back if I am paying enough attention to notice.

So, I get a little sad/pissed off knowing that my board just got ruining and that I fell asleep when everyone else was having fun. Tim and I decide to walk back to the dorms, but I don't know where we are. We discuss it for a little bit, and then start to walk. Then I wake up.

My mom, me, and two of her sisters were inside of what was supposed to be my Mom's house. It was a little like the house she grew up in. We were all getting ready to walk outside to go somewhere when we heard a terrible wind- one so strong that I thought the house might fall apart. The wind didn't last long though, and soon it was sunny and beautiful outside. I went out to look around. I couldn't see any damage from the wind, and everything looked as usual- except for a strange spot in the air. I was like space was distorted in the shape of a 20-foot-tall jellyfish. I could see through it, but there were streaks of "air" that were smeared and slightly opaque. I grabbed my camera and started taking pictures of it. It seemed familiar to me in my dream, like I had seen or heard of this phenomenon before, so I wasn't afraid. I attributed it to the large wind that had just ripped through, and assumed it would dissipate over time. I laid down on the ground to get a shot of the sun rays piercing through the anomaly and as I was focusing my shot, I saw that the thing was moving, and that it was much much larger and farther away than I had initially thought. Almost immediately after this realization I saw that it was a giant light bulb, the size of a house, and then it crashed to the ground, glass shattering everywhere. I was far enough away that only tiny shards of glass showered me, but didn't cut me as they probably would have in real life. Still in shock, I got up, and looked farther down the road and saw a giant lamp shade and lamp base (both the size of skyscrapers) crash from the sky. I ran inside and explained to my mo what had just happened. I told her that I wondered if the recent creation of tiny black holes by the LHC was responsible for this. All I could imagine was that reality as we knew it was breaking down or universes were colliding, expanding, shifting, distorting…something very serious.

I turned on the television to find the news. I couldn't find anyone speaking about these events. I couldn't think of anyone else to call so I called my ex and asked him if he had noticed anything. He hasn't heard about anything, but he came over. My mom was making some kind of sugar cookies. They looked already cooked, but she is puts them on a baking sheet and throws them in the oven. She offered one to my ex. He took one and so did I.

My mom's ex-husband was there instead of her current one. We were all in survival mode. I went to the garage at the back of the house and I heard cats meowing, as if they were crying, and it seemed to be coming from the walls. I ran to the backyard where my two dogs had been. They were gone. To my left, where my dog Mina had been, I saw a large 4' X 3' baking pan filled with what looked like a chocolate cake or uncut brownies. There was a face on it, and it looked scared. I was terrified of it, it seemed to be looking at me. I picked up some nearby garbage (packing material or insulation?) and threw it at the thing. The trash was light, so it didn't hurt the thing, but some of it fell in it's mouth. I turned to run and I heard it pitifully ask, "Help?" I turned around, "Are you ok?" The thing was looking at me, and said in a frightened voiced tinged with nervous laughter, "I..I don't know" and it tried to smile. I started to go back and get the trash out of the cake's mouth, but I was too scared to approach it. I told the thing, "It will come out on it's own eventually," and tried to fake a smile.

I ran back inside to tell everyone what I had just seen. My ex was already inside telling my family about the thing, he had encountered it before me it seems. It now was apparent to me that this thing was previously my old dog Mina. I ran back out to it and out to look for Nadja, my other dog. I saw another cake pan, with something pink inside…but before I can run to it, we all saw a small injured white cat walking slowly towards us. My mom's ex says, "I heard that t he cats are "mascots" and they don't change, but they are preyed upon by other things." The cat was very sick but came to us willingly. We brought it inside and looked for food to feed it.

Once we are inside, something started shooting as us from outside in the backyard. My mom's ex, who now looks like a stranger and perhaps isn't supposed to be her ex, was fighting back and had a massive supply of weapons scattered all over the living room floor. I wanted to help fight, so I looked for something I could use. I touched a few guns and knives but realized that I didn't know how to use any of them. One strange metal medieval-looking cross-bow/sword started to move on its own. It had been infected/effected by whatever was happening to reality. I grabbed a weapon that looks like a flashlight, and I pounded the thing until it was smashed and not moving.

My mom screamed as she opened a trunk in the dining area. "Another alligator head!" One of the men in the room grabbed it, it was alive even though it was a bodiless head, and he kicked it outside the front door, where I could see dozens of other live alligator heads chattering around the front yard.

We had to run outside from the shooting, and soon we ended up in an urban city-scape that seemed deserted. Things still fell from the sky, and I knew the reality breakdown was progressing.

A flock of sparrows flew up to us. We threw some bread to them. "They are normal!, they are real!" someone yelled. "Yeeesss, weee are reeaallll…" the sparrows all droned together.

I woke up at this point, wrote everything down, and decided to go back to sleep and re-enter this dream, but stay lucid. I was successful, for a short time:

I was back in the house, but no one else was there. I could see white walls in front of me, and two small puppy faces merged into the walls, as if a small husky and a small bulldog melted into the wall with only their faces left unconsumed. "I am dreaming, so I don't have to be afraid of them," I thought. As I grabbed the husky I saw that he wasn't melted into the wall like I thought, I just hadn't been able to see the rest of his body. I pulled him out and pulled out the bulldog too, and then I lost lucidity.

I saw my mom, and kept trying to tell her about this crazy dream I just had. She was busy with some paper work, and eventually I got the idea that I was being annoying.

Later my littlest sister and I were out riding bikes through the neighborhood, which now looked ravaged. We were trying to help a group of people. Something scary happened at a house…(can't remember what) I woke up again.

Rrrr... I don't know if I should even try to keep this DJ going. I can only get on DV at school when we get to use the computers, and it's only ever for a few minutes... Plus, I don't think hardly anybody even reads my DJ. Anyways, all the dreams I have written down are at home, so I'll just put the ones from last night/night before that I can remember.

~Me and a few other people were walking around some type of dark building. A tiny little bunny-looking came up and one of the people with me said something about it being small. Right after that, it got really angry and grew into a huge, glowing green, rabid, rabbit-beast thing and started chasing us. The whole dream mainy consisted of us running from it, until it turned into a cracker thing and one of its legs came off...

~I was in a cross of one of my friend's houses and my house and just some random place. The big pink stuffed dog I have was sitting on a bed. She took it and started screaming, "You sleep with a stuffed bear!? A BEAR!?!?" and then smeared ketchup all over it's face. (?)

~There was a big boat; I think it was the Titanic. A bunch of people were on it doing some kind of investigation. It rose up into the air all of a sudden and disappeared. All of the people that had been on it fell down into the water. I think I was some detective woman. Me and these two men in suits ran out into the water and tried to look for the people. They were all kind of dissolving and fading away. Their eyes stayed, though, and kept growing and starting at me and it was completely freaking me out. I was trying to scream but no sound would come out.

~~~~~~~

I want to have a lucid.