Just a dream fragment. Recall was a bit poor this past night and the night before, maybe because I've been a bit restless. Dream Fragment: I'm at an alternate version of the big square in my old home town. An older version of it, I think? I got in a car with one of my aunts (B). It was dark. We drove somewhere underground, where it was also particularly dark but there were a few lights here and there at foot level or something. There was a green hue to everything. The underground area was like a tunnel at first, a bit like some of the subway tunnels in the town. But then it became narrower and more like a sewer of some kind. Then I remember being on foot on my own. There were narrow concrete straits over darkness below. There was green-ish looking water coming out of cylindrical openings in some of the concrete walls. Notes: - Although I didn't realise it on waking up or during the dream, it made sense that the underground area resembled the subway tunnels, because under that square in waking life is where the station is. - I remember having some conversation with my aunt, but can't even remember what about.
I am looking at a map. It looks similar to Reno Sparks, but it looks like there’s another freeway parallel to 395, creating more of a square than a cross. I zoom in? towards the top of this other freeway, and it looks like there’s a road that branches off and up into a small valley. I see a symbol for a river or a waterfall and a lone building below it. I think it is a cafe or something similar that is supposed to be good. I like the idea of getting up out of a town a little, and now I am at this spot. It is secluded, empty, and peaceful. I can tell there is water a ways up that I think has been diverted so this long, low, white building can exist. The surrounding slopes are fairly steep and slightly vegetated. I can still see Mt. Rose in the distance, dusted with snow, from a perspective I’ve never had before.
Recorded the majority of these dreams early on in a vague form on my phone on waking up. Had to go somewhere in the car; while I was waiting in the car for an hour, typed everything out in more detail, which I'm now putting on the DJ here. First Dream (Some detail missing): Fairly long dream. Can’t remember the start now but I would recurringly go for a swim with H but also alone. When I started, I felt weak and slow. I can’t remember the water's temperature. We were on some sort of cruise ship but it was mostly empty, and I don’t think it was ever moving. I started to become strong at swimming, when I was back on the decks I can remember feeling like I my chest was sort of almost puffing out from all the swimming workout. At some point I was walking down some wooden decking stairs and I could see my parents lounging on some patio type chairs on a higher level. I could hear dad make some sort of mock bird call. I remember then seeing some birds. Seagulls? Dad laughed. H asked from some place below, “is that your dad?” I said yes and then remember continuing down the stairs and losing sight of them. It was daytime for most of this dream but I made note of the fact that it was sort of cloudy and grey. I remember a horizon of water. It may have been windy but I don’t remember the sound of it. I remember a few times I’d take my boots off, but at no point do I remember what I was wearing. When I went swimming, after a short while I’d usually arrive at this sea floor base of some kind. This place did have a lot of people. I remember lockers, the inside of this place almost felt like some swimming pool changing rooms but with a more modern and futuristic feel to it, a bit more like the base from Ocean Girl or the sea city from Bioshock. Before this dream or through the middle of it, I was stuck in some sort of void like limbo with H for a time. It was like being in an out of control perpetual fall, and there was a strange light and distant but dark cosmic background. This void was filled with ancient structures and artefacts from unknown civilisations, a lot of the stuff looking like it was from some sort of classic period. I remember interacting with some walls and pillars from a distance, with some kind of telekinetic ability, and cutting them up into smaller chunks. As I did their lighting would change, usually to some dramatic purples and yellows. At some nearer the “end” of the cruise ship segments I went into this too, to have a wee, but there were no toilets. In the dream my mind was telling me that there were some type of urinals but there was nothing on walls or anything like toilets. Instead there were some tables. I walked past a clear plastic box filled with what looked like cheap and brightly coloured electronic components. At the tables were some big circuit boards with several components already soldered on, including some transformers. For whatever reason I had to have a wee on these boards, but I remember someone telling me I could only wee on the electrolytic capacitors... I remember doing it, but on a big black electrolytic cap, and then some guy appeared, who apparently owned all this stuff and told me off just for weeing on the big one. He was annoyed but not angry or shouting. Then I remember going out of that room after a short dialogue. I went some stone stairs, in a wide spiral. It reminded me of castles and churches. There were a few murderhole windows where daylight shun from. This was a different place, it was puzzle like. As I reached some kind of landing I immediately realised that the structure was like in some games like Legend of Zelda and some modern puzzles where the paths loop back into themselves, but I could get around the issue of looping paths by taking them whilst walking backwards. I remember a crawl space path where the same would happen and there were statues and displays scattered about like some museum. There was a warm artificial mood light and everything had a sort of modern feel to it in the areas with displays. Second Dream (Fragment): A different dream. I was born out of a big egg, looked mostly like a birds egg but was covered in a polka dot pattern on the outside. A sort of magenta colour to the dots. There was some old man in this dream and I remember telling him we all had stomachs made from tin and gold. When I told him there was also sulfuric acid in there, he was incredulous. Third Dream? (Fragment) NSFW: A still image, as if on a computer, no doubt from a transition phase into wakefulness, Spoiler for NSFW: of a giant phallus in space “absorbing” planets along its skin. One of the stranger things I might draw from time to time. But unusual for this type of thing to appear whilst still sort of in the dreaming context. Notes: ⁃ Almost immediately after waking up I realised I probably had the swimming and diving dream because I spent so much of last night reading stuff on Dreamviews. It made me feel like the water was representative of dreaming in itself. ⁃ When I was reading stuff last night I had some thoughts about symbology, mostly because of the topics but I think also because of something I’d said/posted. I feel this is probably why the dream ended up being so metaphorical. ⁃ I ended up taking the whole swimming and diving experience, which in the dream made me stronger, as a sign that I may be making some progress again with dreaming. There was just a sort of clear association in my head when I woke up that all of this was a metaphor for how I was doing lately. ⁃ The void filled with artefacts etc. also felt relevant in that context because it seemed like a collection of lost and unknown culture. ⁃ This void was very similar to the Chthonic voids found in Grim Dawn, probably because I was also playing that a bit last night.
I am in a fairly large used bookstore. The shelves are dark wood, tall, and full. The aisles are large and grid-like, but the place seems dim. It has a cluttered but homey atmosphere. I’m looking through the large ‘H’ section for Aldous Huxley. There is a couple looking at this section too; I politely step around them, but I think they are right in front of where I need to be. I think they move and I find a couple of Huxley books. I am now looking at a narrow shelf at the end of one of the aisle shelves. There are two cassettes? and their covers are two different pictures of Makayla and some guy on the beach. They are both in swimsuits and standing next to each other, arms around one another. It looks like Hawaii. I find it slightly odd that these are here and wonder why they are. There is also a haphazard stack of small, square, used notebooks. I flip through one, intrigued by going through someone else’s writing. I notice a date - 2000 or 2001. At the end, there is a picture of a hand holding a pen or pencil. (I think this may be a part of the last dream, but it also may not be). I have arrived in Hawaii. I think it is the big island and I think I may be meeting up with Jim and Rhianna. I’m walking through some foliage, toward the beach. The plants thin and give way to an expanse of sand that slowly slopes to the ocean. The sun is shining languorously on the interspersed people enjoying this space, and the whole scene is peaceful and beautiful. Now, I am on a plane back. It is very dark out, but I notice buildings that are dangerously close… until I realize that this plane is graceful landing on a wide freeway, on which I think there are still cars. It looks like the bay area.
I am looking at a house for rent with Melissa. It looks like it is in the South Meadows area. It looks nice and fairly inconspicuous from the street, but when we get inside I am really impressed. There are nice wood floors and two levels. The stairs end in a little landing that overlooks the first floor. I open the back doors, stepping onto a patio that is unenclosed and almost flush with the surrounding marshland. The sun is setting, filling the clouds with a cotton candy pink that contrasts beautifully with the winter blue of the sky. This coupled with the reflections in the water creates a beautiful, peaceful scene that I feel immersed in. Back inside, I express to Melissa how much I like this place. I was thinking the rent was $1,800, but when we step out front I see a paper taped to a window that says $3,800. I tell Melissa, but I think she already knew. Kris now appears and says something about a family just moving in or out - out, I think. We then follow her into her house which is right over here. The inside seems fairly simple, yet homey.
I am at Mom’s house. I step outside and it feels like it’s the middle of the night, though it is not extremely dark. I can see frost and my breath, but I do not feel cold even though I’m not even wearing shoes or a shirt. When I’m walking back up to the house, I notice a car pulling up. At first I think it’s Ryan’s truck. When I get inside, I notice Mom is up and making food. I either ask or just find out that it is one of her guy friends outside. She ends up going out and leaving with him. I am by the river. It is very full, as if flooded. It goes up to almost the top of the arches on a stone bridge, upon which people are jumping in from. I notice an older couple, completely nude. I notice the man’s penis, short but thicker, slightly standing out from his pubic hair.
I am outside somewhere in what looks like a marsh. The water brilliantly reflects the sky, making it hard to tell how deep it is. It’s also hard to tell what/where the land is, as the plants are lush and thick. I am walking through this, giving in to the inevitability of my feet sinking into the water at some point. I still try to avoid it as much as I can, and at one point I am jumping higher, farther, and slower than is humanly possible. This marshland is really peaceful and beautiful. Now, I’ve ended up on the edge of a forest, traveling inward. It’s gotten darker quicker than I expected, and I feel a brief pang of fear as I don’t have a light or a sense of direction. I’m in an unfamiliar college building and walk into Mike Holmes’ class (different than his real class), finding it full when I thought it would be over. I see my empty seat at the high desks and take it. Now, I am presenting a model - a plain, rectangular, multi-floor shopping mall. I don't think I've ever actually seen this model until now, and I'm only talking about its simplicity as if it is its biggest asset. He seems to like it.
I am alone and walking up the stairs into a house or apartment near the river. The staircase is wide and tall, bending once at a 90 degree angle. The interior seems to be a tint of pink and looks fairly but not completely modern. In this large, open room there is an almost floor-to-ceiling window with a view of the river. Now, Mairin walks in. At first she doesn’t pay any attention to me, but then she ends up saying hi. A fairly large group now comes in, and I think they must be her family. I stand here and talk to her for a bit. I think either this is her place or she’s staying here. I am wading in the river in a section that seems to be downtown. I near the other bank and see a woman approaching that seems to be homeless. I’m not sure if she is benevolent or not, but I turn around anyway. Wading back to the other side, all I can notice is that the river is full of dirty, shitty clothes and other debris. At one point it is all that surrounds me, and I become hyper aware and acutely panicky. I get a profound urge to move out of this city. I think I’m at Dad’s house. I need to go somewhere, but it is snowing very hard. My car is either parked in the driveway or off to the side, and it’s almost completely covered in snow.
I am outside somewhere with Sage. We are on the bank of a wide and seemingly shallow yet rapidly flowing river. It’s width (~50ft?) is broken up by protruding rocks and the resulting rapids. I think we are trying to cross it but end up coming back, because we never do get to the other side. When I attempt, the water reaches up to my lower thighs. Despite the depth, the strong current makes each step a task. Back on the bank, Sage is casually talking about some gecko club she’s created. I think she’s trying to get me to join. I ask what it entails, and it seems like a lot for the low monthly payment. I’m just not sure I’m that into geckos. Dad is now here and sort of ridiculing us for trying to cross this river. He doesn’t seem to appreciate our trying.
I am at the lake (Tahoe, I’m pretty sure) with some family, I think Granny and Mom and maybe Makayla. We are at a beach that is not sandy, but more rocks and pine needles. There is also a fair amount of trees coming down all the way to the waterline. I have some clothes that I think have just been washed, because they are still damp. I am looking for a clothesline or even a string, but I don’t find anything. Now I’m at work with either Melissa or Laynie, still looking for a clothesline. We can’t find one anywhere, until we ask Carolina. She takes us to a stockroom, it being the only place she can think of that would have one. Sure enough, we look to the right and I see some green lines hanging from a hook near the ceiling. I tug on one, not sure how to get it down. I flick it a bit, and it comes off the hook. They look somewhat surprised, and I joke about not knowing how I just did that. Though the line had reached near the top of the high ceiling, it is barely even a foot long as I am holding it up I’m just slightly disappointed. I guess I’ve settled though, as I’m back on the beach. I’m walking back to our spot and noticing towels and clothes simply draped over the lower tree branches. I think it occurs to me that I could’ve just done this, but I seem pretty set on the clothesline.
I am at work (though it doesn’t really look like it - it does look like a retail store, but not necessarily JCPenney). It feels like I am upstairs, and I am with two unfamiliar others, one guy and one girl. We are sitting and playing a board game. The board is larger and sitting atop something. I think there are a few pieces, one being a longer, black piece of food (like a brownie?) Apparently when it is your turn you tell another player what to do and they are supposed to do it. I say this because the guy has told me to go count all the hangers in the store, and I am going to do it. I think it’s going to be hard to impossible but that’s just how the game works. I start on it, in what looks like the hallway to our employee entrance. I am counting and thinking of a strategy to not miss any when I see Mairin putting out some new clothes. They are men’s long sleeve button ups, in blues with subtle patterns, and I kind of like them. She is telling me and one other something as she fills an empty rack with a handful of the shirts. Now, a black man comes in and asks a simple question. I answer it, and he is super excited and impressed with me. On his way out, he gives me a pretty long hug. I had went for a handshake, but adjusted to a hug. He tells me thanks again, etc. I call him brother, and then hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way - it seems like he doesn’t. He asks if I like some orange beer? I’m not sure at first but then he specifies and I realize what he’s talking about and say “oh yeah.” He leaves and comes back in with a bottle of one and a glass. He gives them both to me, and I notice the glass has a little bit of what looks like peanut butter inside of it. I think that it’s gross and it’s probably just been sitting in his car or something, but that it’s a very kind gesture. I am in some kind of cabin. There is a counter to order food and large paper menus hanging above it. I have to get kind of close to the counter to read the menu, and the younger looking employees are all looking to me as if I’m ready to order. To signal that I’m not quite ready, I start looking at the bookshelf below the counter. I notice a few stacks of books, one stack being maroon and antiquated looking books. I notice that every other ‘book’ isn’t really shaped like a book, but more like a box for a nice pen or something that shape. It looks like they’re in a series or all go together. I notice a girl off to the left poke a note out from behind something sort of secretly. I assume the note will be something about me ordering food. I go over and she hands me a different note, a full size paper. I glance at it, having no idea what it could be about. I think it could be about me or that it could be some kind of petition. I just fold it and hold onto it to look at it later. I am at a small (rock?) beach at what looks like a large, clear pond. Emmy’s mom? sits next to me, and I notice Emmy swimming. I want to show her a picture of Makayla because they look so similar. As I talk to her, I am forgetting Emmy’s name, but remember it right before I have to use it.
I am on a road trip with Dad and Makayla, with Dad driving. We are going to Texas, and I see that we’re currently driving through a corner of Utah. It is like I am seeing a satellite map of a moment, and I notice that there is snowfall on the ground right above where we are and will be travelling. It zooms and pans to the right a bit. We pass by many lakes in a short amount of time. They are all fairly small, but they are beautiful. The water is clear enough to see the bottom of an entire lake as well as all the light colored and large rocks within. I am in a store with Sage when I grab off of a shelf at about eye level a bottle of Lagunitas beer. I think I had been looking for it and am excited to have found it. I tell Sage how good it is as I open it up. I grab a glass from the shelf and pour the beer fairly vigorously into it, producing only a small, snow white head. The beer has the appearance of carbonated white grape juice and smells of the same. I take a sip and it is good. I pronounce Lagunitas funny and kind of laugh about it. Now, I am parking on the side of a residential street behind another car. Dad is on the lawn of this front/side yard, faced away from me; I have come to meet up with him. I think I have brought the full glass and the remainder in the bottle, each in a cup holder. I get out and start talking with him. I ask if he’d be offended if I just stayed at Mom’s while I’m going to school. He hesitates, almost as if taken aback, and then replies, “no, of course not.” He says I can do whatever I need to focus on school. I notice we’re under a large oak? tree that splits near the bottom. I’m now in the house here (Dad’s?), I think with Mom and Makayla. There is indication of past activity, though no one is currently here. There are two boxes of Panda Express open on the counter, each with a glass of white wine sitting too near the edge. I notice about five of the Lagunitas beers, all opened and partially finished. It makes me a little mad because he all of them without asking
I am at work when Charmi comes to visit. It almost looks more like a house. Scott is here and begrudgingly gets up to get the door for her. He opens it and immediately turns away from her. He talks to her detachedly but doesn’t really look at her. He is sitting and, for whatever reason, I notice his mustache moving slightly as he speaks. Now I think it is just Charmi and me. She asks if it’s been pretty slow, slightly derogatorily. Just as I say ‘yes’, I notice a group of two girls and one guy about my age what definitely look like they’re trying to steal. They all look clean cut and put together, but I notice the one girl carrying a stack of Levis and wearing a pretty full looking bag. The other girl is carrying a small armful of merchandise as well. They are just past what seems to be an opening in the floor for an escalator. I think they notice me eyeing and walking towards them. I walk up to them and don’t even need to say anything before they start tossing the merchandise down onto shelves and displays and walking out. I sort of wander around now and just so happen to walk up on the guy coming back in, on the phone. He notices me, but continues walking and walking with only a slight hesitation. I hear him casually say that he’s just gotten pinched/fucked? (or neither of those, but something similar?) I wonder if he is really trying to come back for something. I am with Melissa in what seems to be the ocean, right about where the waves are breaking. We are waiting for them to come in and are riding them for a ways before going back out to catch another. It is simple yet fun. A few big ones start coming in and I fear that they’ll break on us, but they do not. The beach is a slightly sloped expanse of golden sand, upon which I notice only our towels and stuff set up. Everything seems to be lit, though the sky seems to be dark.
I walk up to a small bar counter in a small room. The room seems mainly to be for some standing space and the counter. I think there is a window with a view behind the counter or a little off to the side, adding some hazy sunlight. A few moments after I situate myself at the counter, a clean cut and conventionally attractive bartender turns his attention to me. He makes eye contact and lifts his chin as a way of asking what he can get for me. The menu seems to be hanging and is in two sections. Each option is a wine, but each is the name of a place. I tell him I see that the options are names of places and not varietals, and I ask what he would recommend given that. I am confident in what I am saying, but I’m still self conscious of my voice. There are people on either side of me, and it feels like their attention is on me and what I’m saying. The man asks what I’m looking for, and I say a white because of the hot weather. He asks what kind of flavors, and I say probably something more creamy than tart and something more sweet than not, but not cloyingly so. I end up saying quite a few flavors to where it still makes sense but is not very specific. He asks me to narrow it down, and I say ‘just not a red.’ he and the couple to my left start laughing. Self conscious, I ask what’s so funny. Amber from Sephora is here now and telling the man “babe, be nice.” I am in a smaller house that seems to only have basic furniture and no adornments. There is a couple that calls me (from the house across the street I think). The woman is describing a ‘medical emergency’ that really doesn’t sound like one. They want me to do something about it, but I’m trying to talk it down and get out of it. They still end up coming over here, into the bedroom I am in. the woman, with dark hair and eye makeup, starts reprimanding me about the nature of the ‘emergency’ and my reluctance to remedy it. It sounds like the guy, what is here but not saying anything, only scratched his finger, I think from the pin part on an EAS tag. I apologize, empathize, and just nicely tell her what she wants to hear. She’s fairly understanding but still comes off like she thinks she is so in the right. I let her think that but still think it’s puerile. They then leave, I think on good terms. I am in an unfamiliar city, on a bike. There are buildings either way I could go on this street. I know I need to go somewhere, but I’m not sure where and I’m not sure which way to go. I just follow my gut feeling and it turns out to be right. I am riding along the sidewalk, slightly downhill. It looks like the road is turning into a bridge over water. The sidewalk is divided down the middle by little white markers standing up. Everyone is to the right, and they all seem to be going slow. The bridge seems to be more of a flat expanse now, the road blending into the sidewalk, blending into a smaller barrier at the edge. We seem to be right at water level or just barely above it. The water is bright and clear, soft sunlight brilliantly reflecting upon it. The whole scene is beautiful and slightly surreal. For some reason, I think this is London.
I am in some room, maybe a kitchen, in a house or building that seems to be by a beach, probably on the ocean. The place is dim and seems to be empty, except for Dad, who is here celebrating his birthday. There is no one here, so I assume it is just too early for them to be showing up. He shows me a little machine on the counter top that has a few tap handles. There is what looks like a thin, green hose. On it is a circular piece with an indentation (like one for a screwdriver), which corresponds to a piece on the machine. Once inserted, it can be turned and creates a sound like it is adding carbonation or something similar. It also allows the beer to come out. I look at the options and choose a witbier. I pour it into my Artown cup at a 45 degree angle. It seems to pour quickly, but doesn’t produce much head. I take a sip and it is pretty tasty. I look at the other options, two being home brew?, one IPA, and a Revision IPA with a pretty cool graphic (space?). I think the others are more eclectic, constituting a pretty decent selection for so few handles. I think I am going to go sit outside. I am seeing a video of Dad at some circular bar counter that looks to be encircling a pool. The whole thing is not very big, but it looks pretty cool. I think we’re supposed to be on a family trip and he’s already there without us. I then see a filter or location on the video that says he’s only at an airport (in Vegas?). Now I am where I think we are going, I think with Makayla. The place is a fairly large and high ceilinged room with a large, rectangle pool in the center. Along the walls around it are what look like doors to hotel rooms. We start looking for one that’s open. You can’t really tell what’s locked or not by looking at it, and I feel weird trying all the door knobs. It seems like most are locked. I get towards the end of the row and hear movement behind one of the doors. The very last door then opens, and coming out of it is a boy probably in his late teens, with long and center parted dirty blond hair, wearing only what looks like boxers or small swim trunks. I assume he is about to swim. I consider asking him to see the inside of the room, but think it’d be a little too intrusive. I am with Sage and her old friend Sierra Fiester in some large room with a bouldering wall. The bouldering wall is not too long, but it is pretty tall and slightly overhanging. I am attempting a problem and its big move. There is a thin crash pad on the ground that I have them move, since it is not where I’d need it if I were to fall. I ready myself for the big move out right, but never commit, afraid to fall. I end up just using different holds to climb to the top, a little disappointed in myself. I still try to make it harder, with big moves and small holds, including small crimps. I use a large half-moon shaped hold (the one from Rocksport and Basecamp), I think getting a hand or two and a heel on it at one point. I am making loud vocalizations of effort at each move.
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