dream fragment

Created Tuesday 23 February 2021

Got a DILD today, and a scrap.

Scrap Group 1
Seated with a group of supposed acquaintances. There was talk of dreaming and awareness. Big miss on my part...

Dream 1 - January/February 2021 TOTM Basic Task I

Scene 1 - Valkyrie's Command
The visuals were a bit blurred. FA in an unknown bedroom. I try just dozing off. But then, mom barged in to yell at me. She kept pressing me to get some supposed time-critical paperwork done. On and off, she went back to morning routines, and then returned to complain further. Just let me sleep...

Eventually, I was left alone, only to be interrupted by another figure. This time, it was some blonde, middle-aged opera-esque valkyrie, complete with wings and a horned helmet. Like ma above, she demanded things of me (fortunately, without a blaring song). In this case, that I protect the local (whatever "local" meant in this context) mayor. The spirit soon vanished from view. Groaning, I forced myself up.

Warp.

Scene 2 - Courage Comet
The visuals were dim. I was walking down a suburban street during night time. That above-mentioned mayor, a short, stout, balding white haired man in a grey suit, was snooping behind me. The man looked very nervous. Identifying me as his bodyguard, he complained that he was getting tired. So, he asked that I haul him around. An annoying request, but it was better than hearing his whining. I lugged him over my shoulder, and continued along.

Upon crossing a street, I noted how absurd this all was. Cue awareness. I waste no time trying tasks, starting with the superhero one. I set the mayor aside, and wave him off to leave him to leave. Anyway, for practice, I attempted to conjure energy between my palms. But, no luck. Guessed conjuration was gonna be a problem with this dream. Moving on then.

I tried an easier task: this month's first basic task. Calling out to the dream, I asked to be shown courage. All of a sudden, a comet zoomed overhead from behind, low in Earth's atmosphere. A blazing white trail followed, one bright enough to momentarily bathe the sky in orange light. Within seconds, the comet was out of view. For a time, I pondered what this could mean, but a clear answer never arrived. Oh well, I thought. I'll probably understand it better when I was awake. Task complete as far as I was concerned.

Just then, an auto accident happened right by me. From what I could tell, a grey vintage 50's sedan skidded on the road, then crashed into a light pole. If that wasn't enough, a red sports car collided with the first vehicle from behind. I just shrugged. It's merely dream weirdness. Instead, I put my thoughts on, uh, smut. Regardless, my efforts were in vain. Such foolishness collapsed the dream.

Created Monday 22 February 2021

Got two DILDs and a fragment today. There was a lot I'd recalled before my first known awakening, but memory of such decayed quickly.

Dream 1 - More TOTY Task 2 Shortcomings - Part 1

The visuals were a bit dull. I was in an unknown apartment suite, twilight overlooking an urban block from out the windows. Many family members and several acquaintances were crowded in the area.

As the group was chattering, I noticed my niece, Audrey, playing a dangerous game from several windows. She'd climb out, then hang hang on to the sill for a few seconds, before clambering back inside. Seeing as much worried me, not helped that no one else seemed to care. It also made me question my state. Cue remembering my being in bed moments earlier, and thus realizing the dream.

Through telekinesis, I immediately dragged my niece towards me. She seemed pleasantly surprised at being transported in such a manner. Contrast everyone else, who gave me a bewildered 'what the hell does that guy think he's doing?' look. Ignoring their reactions, I hauled around Audrey solely as a means to keep things stable.

"Where are we going?", she asks.

"Oh, uh, we're just getting a snack.", I muttered.

The girl grinned. "I want cotton candy!"

"Okay, we'll do that."

Nearest visible exit was at the far left corner. By happenstance, the opening connected to a ladder, which itself lead straight down several stories into the building's snow-filled yard. After securing my niece on my shoulders, the ladder seemed to have been reduced to a couple of steps. Furthermore, perspective was skewed such that the ground was very close by. Yet, as I poked my leg past the steps, I felt nothing but air. I took matters into my own accord, opting to forego the ladder, then float straight to the bottom.

I set my niece aside, whereupon I remembered the TOTY. As per the task, I call out to the dream for a response. Soon, my own voice echoes in my mind.

"Um... so, you can shrink, and fly, I guess...", my ethereal voice stammers. I shrugged. Works for me.

But hold on. I'd just recalled I needed my costume. I looked down, and saw I was wearing jeans and a black tanktop. Nope, not my uniform. Flicking my arm, I tried conjuring my gear, but got nothing. This went on for over half a minute. At that moment, my niece tugs at my arm.

"Tio", she begins complaining. "When are we getting my snack?"

I decided I'll try creating cotton candy first, start with something easy. I had my niece sit in a nearby baby slide as I began the summons. This was initiated by my rubbing my fingers, first in each individual hand, then between each other. No results. It's then I thought to get Audrey involved in this. Grasping her right hand with my own, I start rubbing our palms together, before abruptly letting go. Once again, I rubbed my fingers, and... success! Strings of pink and blue cotton candy were being pulled from nowhere! I steadily tugged out more, until I had just enough to make a tangerine-sized tuft. Didn't seem like it'd be enough to satisfy even a kid's appetite. Yet, against expectation, my niece was delighted. She chortled with glee as she snatched it from my hand.

Well, that worked. Back to the costume. Once again, I snapped my wrist and, just like that, my attire changed. I was indeed wearing my designated outfit. Or, mostly. I had the right helmet, gloves, and boots. But, my pants and jacket, as opposed to being black like the other pieces, were now a bright lipstick red. Wasn't too thrilled with the look. No matter. I brushed it off as an 'alternate color' costume. Thought it best to move on.

I was about to call out to the dream once again. Unfortunately, the scenery immediately faded. I woke up promptly. Tried re-entering. Dozed off within two minutes.

Dream 2 - More TOTY Task 2 Shortcomings - Part 2

The visuals were a bit blurred. I was at home in my bedroom. Although I wasn't (falsely) waking up, I felt groggy.

I dragged myself in the living room, where I noticed a figure seated on the couch. To my surprise, it was my uncle Ryan. I couldn't fathom how he got here, and so suddenly, no less. Thinking of such made me aware.

I recalled the tasks once more, when my bro Emil passed by. Taking an opportunity, I seized him by the shoulder, and dragged him away.

Sudden warp. We ended up in what seemed an abandoned warehouse, sunlight peeking in from a broken window. Anyway, I looked at myself, and noticed I was already in costume (sans chest protector). With that settled, I directed my brother to tell me what my powers are.

"You have two.", he begins. "You have the powers 'Last Defense', and "Summon Succori." Following that, he began to ramble on like a loon. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out what the hell he's talking about.

"Okay, wait. Let's backtrack a bit.", I grumble. "What does it mean to 'Summon Succori?' Can you explain that?"

"It means you can summon defeated opponents to fight for you. Furthermore..."

Emil continues babbling nonsensically from that point on. I tried to ignore him, but his droning was giving me a headache. In fact, such discomfort forced me awake.

Scrap Group 1
SP in bed. Suddenly, I was accosted by a demon lady in a purple robe, her skin pale with a blue tint, and her twisted fangs innumerous. Speaking in a raspy voice, she politely asked "permission" to drain me completely. In turn, I implored she discern me further before doing such a thing. She glared down, then, upon sensing something within me, her eyes widened in bewilderment. "Are you God?", she gasped. I blurted she was grossly overstating things. The fiend recoiled back, and pleaded for mercy. At this point, I could move. I reached out to grab hold of a dream object (namely, the DC nearby) but the dream suddenly collapsed.

Jamie

Just a flash of a memory of her. Can't recall exactly what.

Walking

Was walking with my brother and C into a haunted house attraction. Some guy was stalking behind us, one of the workers and said, "By the end of this walkthrough. You 2 will be broken up." Indicating to C and my brother. I said to c. "Yeah didn't he say that to us last year when he thought we were a couple.?"

Slightly lucid

I was walking around with my brother and went into some abandoned house. I was floating around previously and become lucid. This was low level. Didn't remember any goals. ?Just walked through the house trying to conjure up people. It wasn't working. There was a shadow man in a dark corner, I went into a different room but it was all black causing the dream to end.

20th February 2021

Dream:

Me and H are a nightclub which we own in the dream. It's like an expanded and stripped out version of our kitchen. It's a shady place. Though we don't allow drug dealing, it still happens, some people even talk openly about it in front of us. The lighting is moody; a mauve or red-like ambience. We have just recently installed some kind of small curtain things around these arcade console things lining the walls of the club.

The place is very busy, packed pretty much. I recall seeing people were playing WoW in some form on these arcades, the curtains were supposed to provide a bit of extra privacy at a glance, but they didn't drape very far down, so someone standing up would mostly have the upper half of the screen blocked from their view.

Eventually me and H cease to exist and it becomes more like I'm watching something I think. There are still two club owners, now they are a couple too, a tall and muscled man and a woman, somewhat Arabic in look. Both could be from my native country.

Some person they talk to at one point who is using one of the arcades, reveals something important about gossip that's going around? This person asks the wife if she is wearing the new... whatever it's called in the dream, but it's slang for a skirt-type of clothing which is now considered to be sexy and naughtywear. More stuff happens at the club but I don't recall it.

(recall gap)

Then like I'm watching a dramatised documentary of some kind, there's an implicit feel of it being in some place like Jerusalem or Russia. I see backstreet, vacant type of places.

Small bits of life for people of different religious backgrounds are shown. It's implied that in groups, sometimes people bully single individuals of other groups, despite the fact that this place is supposed to be a place for all to come together. I recall a scene where this Catholic boy is being chased away by some Orthodox teens or something.

Fragment:

An earlier dream. In a subway, me and a large organised group of individuals, part of some stealth ops type of thing and with appropriate gear. We are boarding a train and I remember we go through tunnels. Recall is too vague for details though.

18th February 2021

Dream:

In a version of our home and street. The van is outside and it was open in order for me to do something?

Our street looks like it's part of some city like Paris, I don't know. To the right and beyond where there's that intersecting road, there are much taller buildings. I recall something about having to wait. Maybe I have a backpack. Our front door is open. At several points throughout the dream I alter the colours of our house, both interior and exterior. I remember we have some kind of small tiled mosaic floor. I eventually become satisfied with a sandy colour scheme with red accents.

I remember I see a dream neighbour down the street. He's walking a dog or something and I'm concerned about it pooping near our door, but in reality they are too far for it to matter.

I don't remember what kind of day it is, maybe sunny but light looks overcast. At some point while I'm waiting I get into a random car across the street, it's red maybe? When I get in I'm suddenly on a first floor level, but I don't realise or care about this in the dream. I think at one point I see a man from one of the windows (right side of the car, I was looking out left initially) and we talk.

(recall gap)

The next thing I remember, I'm in a car with two people. I'm on the front passenger side, which is on the right (though I don't realise this in the dream). One person is a man and the other I can't recall. We're in a very busy area of a city like L but bigger, wider roads. We're on a four or five lane road approaching a very complicated and busy intersection.

Me and the man are having a conversation. We're discussing building a computer while the lights are still red. He's apparently from the past and is asking me about how hardware prices have changed and I presume he means over the last twenty years.

In the dream, I think I feel I was in a further future time than in reality. I tell him, some things like USB and other small accessory stuff are a bit cheaper, but not much. Otherwise most other things remain more or less the same but with very good specs.

The lights at this intersection become green and we start going. On the right there's a diagonally intersecting road we're merging with, it has just as many lanes and it's busy too and then there's an ambulance trying to come across from the opposite direction. I am quiet for now to let the driver concentrate, but once we are out of the complex situation, we resume discussion.

Fragment:

Bins and recycling are being collected. I forgot to put things out? And I try to do it then seeing as I still think they're about to collect it. But I don't see the collecting hi-vis people anymore by the time I get outside. Some other people are here, they are looking through bags. They tell me they are from some charity, they mention it by name. I forget what we talk about but I recall they were looking for clothes primarily.

Notes:
- Both sections of the longer dream relate to home in some way. Present home, past home and past-would-be home, I feel.
- The apprehension about the neighbour walking the dog may stem from the fact that lately dogs seem to have taken a liking to our door for doing their needs.
- Somewhat related, the part about re-decorating the house may

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I go to my car outside my gates, to get some bags I really need the bags, but I am a bit afraid because it is night already and I am alone. I hear strange noises, so I look around and see some small boars, not so far from me. One has a chunk of bloodied meat hanging from his mouth and I feel a bit concerned. But they don't seem like they want to attack me. I look over the small cliff they came from and see a bunch of boars and cats apparently eating some corpse. One of the cats is my cat Buda. I go there and all the animals run away from me. I realize the dead animal is a giant pig, the size of a very fat human. The animal has tied feet and has burned skin like it had been cooking over a fire. But it ain't dead, it still breathes. At this point, there are other people around who also came to see what happened and all are in shock about the poor pig that was being cooked alive and somehow escaped. They can't handle it, but beg me to film and post online. Turns out there is a restaurant really nearby that is famous for cooking whole pigs but nobody expected them to cook the pigs alive.
I am confused that a lot of it doesn't make sense. How is the pig alive after everything, including having cats and wild boars eating his guts? And how did it get here with feet tied up? Then I see some guys who look familiar, some famous comedians. They admit to have set up a prank to promote the said restaurant, and that the pig is actually a man in disguise, but once again it makes no sense and I find it all absurd.

I am with a group of international friends at an hostel in some foreign country. We did a heist and stole a bunch of lesser known paintings of famous painters worth millions. We are saying goodbye to each other, packing bags. I am also saying goodbye to the hostel cats and I feel really heartbroken to leave them behind. Some became really fond of some of us and I ask if nobody wants to adopt any cats. They say no, that they will be fine. The owner of the hostel feeds them and they are used to see people come and go. But I am looking for one in particular that got really attached to us. Our rooms are in the basement with access to a garden where I go look for the cat. Then the police comes into the hostel and raids our rooms. I see some of my friends being arrested, others fleeing and being caught on the street. But I was out of sight in the garden and manage to escape to a back alley that zigzags through neighboring buildings. I leave everything behind, only have my wallet on my pocket. I see police starting to spread out and look for the ones who escaped. I got to another neighborhood and see an entrance to a small shopping center. It's basically closed with only a couple shops open, so I plan to lay low and wait. I go down some stairs to a lower level floor and find a kind of auditorium with people seated and watching something on a screen. I presume it's some movie so I seat down among them. Turns out it is an auction and the items are being shown on screen. I spot one of my partners in crime among them, trying to sell his painting even for some bucks just to get rid of it and make some money to leave the country. But there were some agents in the audience and they catch him. Then they start looking around and also checking bags, trying to find more of us. I don't flinch and since I only have my wallet, they let me go.

I am at some kind of charity event for an animal shelter or similar and a reporter comes with a couple vets and start asking if we consider vegan feed safe and healthy for cats and dogs. We find that a bit odd but the organizers of the event all says yes. Then the reporter gives the word to the vets she brought along and they start raising questions about longevity and biology and I get into a really heated debate with them about it. I present scientific data and they question my authority on the subject. I then pull out my credentials and one of the vets looks me down, claiming I have a low paid job and no credit. So I exaggerate a bit my professional history, to prove her wrong - no lies, just a bit of embellishment. I then feel so bad for having fallen down through this ego trap.

Created Monday 15 February 2021

Got a DILD and some fragments. I tried two tasks in today's LDs, as the title indicates, I screwed up at both. Oh well. I had fun regardless.

Scrap Group 1
In a wide, darkened area, like an amphitheater. Monsters were lurking the place. I was given psychic powers, which I used to fly around and shoot telekinetic blasts.

In a hotel lobby or a similar place. A bunch of of zany cartoon monsters (drawn in a 40's art style) were wrecking havoc. It was left to me and a handful of people to neutralize them. One of the creatures was a huge tree. I was told that it was mom, who had been corrupted into that form. I was conflicted on how to handle this.

Dreamlet to dream. Various forgotten scenes. Vaguely recall being in a school. I slowly gained awareness. Warp.


Dream 1 - Two Tasks, Two Misses

The visuals started rather blurred. I was in a wilderness pathway leading to the gate of a large park, sunlight peeking through the leaves.

Suddenly, mom suddenly rushed in from nowhere.

"Hey!", she speaks frantically in Spanish. "How do I change the TV to channel 8?!"

This only catalyzed my awareness. I turned away, dismissing her request. Ma kept babbling about a number of topics, such as trivial updates about my sister. No doubt the dream's way of distracting me. I claimed I'd attend her soon, but of course, I wasn't going to do such a thing.

Since the dream felt unstable, I hurried to hold onto an old wooden railing nearby. I rubbed it carefully, as I worried about splinters. Once I was more assured, I seated myself cross-legged, and meditated. As expected, I began ascending, if much faster than intended. It took only seconds to reach the clouds.

I thought of tasks at this moment. Just then, an ethereal female voice spoke.

"Here he is!", she booms cheerfully. "He's FireFlyMan! A man of power!" A cheesy fanfare followed as she continued her speech. I listened intently. "With the ability to fly, and shrink himself, FireFlyMan is a hero like no other!"

"Wait", I interjected. "When you mentioned power, what did you mean? Did you mean, like, super-strength?"

"Yes.", replied the voice, annoyed. A pause followed before she continued her speech. "So join FireFlyMan as he journeys through the vastness of space...!"

I interrupted once more. "That's okay, thanks. I'm good now."

"Ugh. Fine.", the woman grunts.

Task done (or so I thought; I realized wasn't in costume much later!). With that settled, I flew at sonic speeds to try warping. Suddenly, blue smoke erupted a distance away from me. From it sprang a massive space craft. Much of the ship consisted of glowing blue metal, its light flowing as a stream. Just as soon as it appeared, it vanished.

But, something else was left behind: a huge portal, cackling with electricity of similar coloration to the craft. What else was there to do, but explore? So, I entered the warp heedlessly. I found myself in a maze-like wormhole. Much like the ship, it resonated with wave-like blue radiance. As I continued, the tunnel narrowed. Eventually, the path forks two ways. I opt to take the left.

At this interval, thinking of a TOTM gave me a more definite destination: an alien planet. Once this thought occurred, the portal suddenly ended. I was thrust into a dark, foggy cavern of blood-red stone. Eerie violet lights sparked intensely in the distance. Certainly, this wasn't our world any longer.

Without wasting time, I search for a plant. I soon found a patch of long blades of grass, faded green plants tinted blue at the points and edges. I then begin working at super-speed. First, I smash the leaves between rocks until they become a fine, vibrant purple powder. Then, by will alone, I conjured a campfire, along with a boiling brazier of water. Finally I throw the powder into the pot. The mixture reacted violently, exploding into purple smoke. Only a portion of liquid remained.

I instantly grab the pot, and almost take an swig. But, fear of getting scalded, let alone of drinking an alien substance, held me back. I drew a deep breath, and tried again. Unfortunately, the dream deteriorated immediately. I wake up with a gasp.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am a guy who can become invisible. I see some guys bullying some kids and I follow them to see if they get violent. Instead, they take the kids to a house and I worry they are going to abuse them. One of them sits on a bed and calls the kids over. That's when I use my power of invisibility to attack them. They are confused but after a while of taking beatings, they realize it is an invisible being and develop a plan to catch me. I have to climb things and hang from places to escape them. This goes on for some time.
Then I learn they have a sister and I fall in love with her at first sight. I become visible to her and she also falls for me. She helps me to get out of there and we talk a bit outside and become friends.

We depart and I go to a grocery store. I notice the prices are ridiculously high, supposedly because this is a very chic neighborhood. I can only afford a tiny bag of snacks for 2€. At the counter, the cashier is insisting with two ladies that they have to wear mask, but resist and are rude to the cashier. I remember I am also not wearing one, so before I get closer to the counter, I put mine on. I get pissed at the women's attitude justifying their carelessness with pseudo-scientific arguments, so I scream at them that I am a biologist and all they just said is BS and tell them to wear the damn mask.

My mom picks me up by car outside and we pass by some of the fanciest buildings in the area. Namely a big fancy hotel with only expensive cars outside and fashionable people hanging around. There is a couple heading to some sports car who are basically naked, as their designer clothes are just weird avant-garde black underwear. The guy has a thong and his basically butt naked. We make some joke about it and they hear it and they seem offended that we don't appreciate their high end futuristic naked suits. Further ahead I see lots of young aspiring models and just fashionable youngsters aspiring to fame, who hang out in a square waiting to be "discovered". Some are vlogging, others are being filmed for some reality show, but it looks like a freak show.

Then my mom says she needs to go to this address of a Japanese man who makes knifes. I am pretty curious. We arrive there already late evening, he lives in a modern Japanese style house. There is one door to his residence and the next door is his shop, which has a window display with his work. The shop is dark and closed, so we ring the bell to his residence. No one comes and then we see some movement on an enclosed balcony on the first floor. We see a man moving and then half a dozen men in suits attacking him and being neutralized. I wonder if we should insist on talking to the guy. He clearly is more than a knife maker. But then his wife shows up at the door and welcomes us warmly. We say what we want and she takes us to the shop. There are lots of kitchen knifes and traditional Japanese crafts. Even some katanas, but all decorative. I ask her if her husband also forges swords and she seems upset with my questions. Claims he does not and never did. I sense that she is lying so I insist. Then realize either he no longer wants to or he just doesn't sell it to anyone asking. I want to know more so I try to show her I am not just someone. I ask from where in Japan they are, tell her I have been there some time myself. Unfortunately I don't know their village or town so I can't break the ice with that. But I start telling about the places I've been. She doesn't seem impressed. But she likes my mom and offers her some cakes. They sit at a table that has no place for me. I feel awkward but my mom, she tells me to sit down on the floor next to her and hands me over bits of the cakes.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


I am part of a weird team doing some research on some underground complex. The place is made of rammed earth, seems ancient, yet these are like top secret military facilities. There is some kind of tech or being which was found, not sure if on these undergrounds or somewhere else. This being or thing can alter matter, reality or at least our perception of it. I just joined in and I am watching and listening to a couple older researchers on the team, discussing their latest experiences and how it relates to some memory from their life together (they are a couple). Strangely, the guy is the sociologist whom (in RL) sold me my house and she is some americam actress (can't remember whom). They send me on a test. I don't know exactly what is going on, but they send me through a sort of maze and I encounter strange people. First I see a strange man and a mirror. He points to the mirror and I start swelling like a balloon. I am sure it is a trick, but then I look at my body and I am actually swelling like a balloon and feeling it. First reaction, I freak out, but then I recall it's likely an illusion somehow and I laugh, not afraid. And indeed it stops. Then I continue walking deep into the maze and I encounter a very tall man who grabs me. A pair of extra arms come out from his mid section of the body and wrap around me. I also freak out, but then again remeber it is all a trick somehow and indeed the man reveals itself to be a person on top of another and not some kind of monster. Then it even fades away revealing the illusion is even deeper and all is just mentally induced from the beggining to end. They were testing what kind of weird fears would manifest and how I would get out of it.
They then walk me outside to a pateo with grass and lots of people having some kind of networking party, with a corner where children are beinf entertained by a theather play. I notice everyone is dressed like the 50s and there is a retro sci-fi kind of vibe to this whole place.
There are some planes in the distance or something causing a bit of a noise and people want to go outside and check what's going on. So many of them head for the doors that cnnect directly to the entrance of this building. Outside there is a short staircase leading to a very large square. Around this square are colonial style buildings. I see the locals and realize "this is somewhere in latin america". Then notice flags hanging in several poles in the surrounding buildings and realize it's in Colombia. So there were really planes coming towards this town. And they attack. So we are advised to go back to the complex, close the doors and go to the underground levels again.

13th February 2021

Fragment:

I'm talking to my mom. The shadows in my eyes are bothering me on some level and I possibly say something about it. She looks at me, alarmed, noticing and telling me that there are some kind of wisps growing out of the centre of my eyes. I cannot feel or see them, but feel they are related to the shadows.

I remember talking to H and I ask him to help me call someone about it. I display some issue of confidence in trying to get this sorted out.

Then I am at a mall place? Looks like the one from my home town. Feels small and cramped but only a few people are around. I am not wearing a mask and I'm here to try and find an optician. I ask one if they can see me and they tell me I'll have to see doctor (recall gone) and that I should try looking elsewhere or something. Just nearby there's a group of people about to go on some tour?

A chunkier fellow notices I'm not wearing a mask and gives me an operating theatre looking type.

Notes:

- Even after waking, I've been left with this strange sensation in my eyes, even about half an hour later.
- These shadows have been particularly bothersome lately, for at least a month or so, since they've been sitting mostly at the centre of my vision.

10th February 2021

Notes:

Haven't made much effort to recall, though initial recall was decent. Lately I've still been struggling to get up, but managed to get up at quarter past ten today.

Dream vividness has been a bit lower I think, though I can't say with certainty, possibly because I haven't been taking Vitamin B so much after re-reading up on B6's half-life.

Trying to not fall asleep again, my mind became distracted with random drawing ideas for my characters. Part of my issue at the moment seems to be I can't manage to feel compelled to record anything in the morning, possibly made worse by the fact I'm not getting up at what I'd consider a "good time". Partly sunny this morning.

12th February 2021

Fragments:

Bit about Discord. V sends me a message about some video, but the video link isn't on the private message, it's on my server. I think I wonder why he did this.

I check out the video; it shows what I in the dream assume to be his school, a high school? My presence enters the video. In a classroom, there's some kind of exercise about characters drawn on the chalkboard and they resemble Pokemon or something. Recall is too vague.

Another bit, outside in a town or village with H. We're getting in our out of the van. I remember narrow pavement and cobbled roads as well as a certain hilliness; it has a feel of my native country. Something political but entirely fictional happens in this dream segment; recall details are gone.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I work in some office in the city. Somebody left a baby there. A colleague comes to me with the baby and asks if I want to adopt him. He is adorable and I kinda want to, but I remind her it's not that simple. I do accept however to look after him for the time being, until it is clear where he came from and what will happen next.
As we leave, I am on the street with my colleague and she is holding the baby and showing me a daycare just at the end of the street, where she suggests I can leave him during the day. I sense some imminent danger as I notice we are underneath a building under construction. Somehow I rewind time, so we escape whatever accident was about to happen. That's when some agents of the Adjustment Bureau type of thing appear to me, not to chase me down and punish me, but to meet and befriend me. They too can stop time and push it back and forth. They stop everyone on the street and show me something quite irrelevant about music from a street vendor while he is frozen in time. I ask if one can in theory live forever if it spends a lot of time in this time stop bubbles. In theory they say one can live a long time as we don't age there, but we also can't do much because interfering or changing anything while there can have cosmic consequences. We can go back and change course, but not change things while they are frozen, Even stepping on a bug could be disastrous. I think it is good for meditating.

In a retreat with my teacher. He presents a dance he practiced with a couple students. Then he selects a new group to choreograph a new dance and I am selected to be part of the group. Then he is invited by some glass artist to blow some glass to create a piece that will encapsulate his breath as a memento, and he calls me on, to add my breath to it to. But I blow too hard and destroy the piece. We start over.

I am walking down a street and become lucid. I decide to float up and think about what to do next. I sit in meditation hovering over people on the street and try to just slide through the air to keep the scenario changing without having actively to think about it. Usually the mediation collapses the dream so I am trying to keep it going without interacting with it. But as usual it doesn't last long. Mara sends his armies to disrupt me. The sky turns dark and I see some couple bad fellas following me around with clear bad intentions. They can't fly but they are apparently pushing me past some train tracks into a garden. In that garden there is some kind of abandoned building where some more fellas are doing shady businesses with, I think, stolen materials. At first they don't seem disturbed with my presence. I even notice Evangelion among them and feel safer. But the ones that were following me push me into some long corridor that takes me to a new place. Past a door, there is a hallway in what appears to be an old fort. They close the door behind me and I keep going forward looking for the exit on the other side. But someone closes the door at the other end.Then I hear them entering through the door on to my back and clearly not with good intentions. But there are windows. They think I won't jump given the height, but I can fly and levitate so it isn't a problem to me. I go to the ledge of the window outside and just float until the ground.
Now the context is a bit different, These guys are like a private army in a fort, they have uniforms. Outside on the ground, I stumble upon one who is secretly meeting his lady girlfriend. She is virgin and they are about to have their first sexual encounter before he goes on some mission the next day. They both get naked. The guy is played by Chris Evans, so very hot, but here he is a douchebag whom I despise. The girl is some blond actress whose name I don't recall. At first I feel like disrupting their sex and take revenge on the guy, I even pick up a spear he left on the floor and think about pinning down his balls to the ground. But I feel sorry for the girl. She really loves him and is so into the several positions they are trying . I let them be. But I steal his uniform. Then I go around the fort and pass by all the guards on the front door just for fun. A general arrives and is welcomed by another high ranking official there, who is telling him how they captured me and also have some important documents for him. I salute them and the general asks "so why is she here in a uniform" and the other guy freaks out. I kick his ass and some friends of mine arrive in a car and kidnap the general at that instant and take me along. No guards have time to react.
After that we stop at some café to eat some cookies and have a drink. It is a kitsch but high tech place, with cute cat images and amazing interactive decorative panels with waterfall and other nature images that we can mix and match and they adjust to each other - like if we put one panel close another with a waterfall, it will prolong the waterfall.

I have been neglecting to write up my dream journals at length. These are notes from the last month sans narrative.

1/11/20

Hanging out with Korn
Nate doing back up vocals for them
I scream with them in a performance
Upstairs in one of their rooms
Monkey says cool we have enough fans
I say ok in that case you guys suck ass
Why don't you make some good music?
They laugh
They are doing an acoustic set practicing new music in their living room
It is a large room with many mementos
I sit off to the side and listen
The girls are brainstorming what to decorate themselves as
I recommend fairies or elves, they love the idea
There is a fancy marble stair coffee table that has a fancy chess board in the center of the room

1/13/20

Jeremy's truck pulling trash bin
Nate's tequila pond idea with Chris and Andy
Party in the backyard people jump the fence into my neighbor's pool
In the basement of my middle school, there is another shadow school
I attend a guest class with other adults
It is about lucid dreaming, Smile is teaching
There's a list of dream websites I ask him if he used Dreamviews he says no
Park my car at a strip mall and go into a costume store
Everyone wears different costumes
Turns into a sickbay by the entrance
I see Mel teaching different craft classes for kids
She talks to me about the teacher from my middle school
I wander the parking lot at night clicking my key fob trying to find my car, other cars keep beeping instead
I see other cars that are my model but different colors
Eventually, find my car and drive away

1/16/20

Old times video game flea market
I stow away in a minivan with two girls in the back
Aleeya likes me, her friend texts me an offer, and her picture
Ride all the way home with them
Hide from the parents

Their family runs a BBQ Restaurant that is incredibly popular
People line up around the building waiting for them to open
I gather their brisket is world-renowned

I am in downtown Kyoto
Part of a school trip but we have wandered off from the group to explore
Huge skyscrapers all around and fancy shops
Feels like a mall
I am with a friend at first but we get separated
I am dressed in all green/pirate pagan wear
I put on a foam life jacket I find by one of the booths
Look in many stores
Fancy glass store
The woman asks me if I need anything
I smile and say "I have no needs" and continue to browse.
She tells me the clocks are in the back
I am blown away by the detail and variety
I ask my friend if we can just book a single night Airbnb and stay downtown away from our group, he isn't sure

1/20/20

Guy shows me the tomatoes he grew, hands me three
I accidentally eat one and feel bad about it
It tastes good
One of my friends Elijah eats the other one
I only have one left out of the three he was showing me and feel bad because he did not offer me to try them
I am babysitting his kids while he is at work at a church
My shower has drywall over the tub and I am using a smaller section
There are three showers in my bathroom
I am on a video call with Leyanna
I am more buff than IRL

1/21/20

Who is Erwen?

1/22/20

In Spanish class
Smoke some weed and put in eyedrops
Class votes on who's drawing is the best on the board in the back
Everyone votes for Cody's pop can
Everyone knows he's dead
I leave the class without looking
Come back and ask the teacher to show me
We talk and I tell her he was my brother
Start to cry while I talk
The teacher is compassionate
She is younger now

We are now in Bosnia/Romania
My car is in a side lot
It is glistening purple electric in the sun
Another person is telling me how to take care of the paint with a special tool
I get in the car and three black guys get in the back seat as well
I ask them where we are going fellas
We drive down the street and they are content

I am with a girl who is my interest
We kiss occasionally
We are on crowded city streets and walking between cafes
We swim in a pool together, maybe skinny dipping, I have no shame

I am in front of a restaurant
Using a special tool with metal spheres on the end of it to break the glass corners of a structure at the entrance
As one side breaks, it sprays fine glass shards down one side of my face
I gather I am making the entrance into something new
A car with an older man pulls up and watches me work for a few minutes
He is confused
I try to explain to him what I am doing
He shrugs and drives away

1/26/20

Parents decide to go out to dinner with another couple, they are meeting another couple at a restaurant.
I am upset and tell them I disagree with their choice because it isn't safe to be meeting in groups of six yet.
I crawl into the car to express my dismay and they have a daughter of the friends in the backseat. The daughter decides to stay at home with us and so does the father but he quickly disappears somewhere.
It is G myself and her hanging around the house for the night.
It begins storming outside and we notice 2 tornadoes forming in the distance so we all rush in and go to the basement to bunker down and wait it out.
The wind and rain are very loud

In another house
Rundown and flooded in one entrance
The other door has a large hornet hive on the outside of it that buzzes viciously when I touch the door
The home is decrepit and seemingly uninhabited for quite some time
I walk back and forth between the two entrances trying to decide how to get out

I am in another room with several people
There is a young African American boy being violent with myself and others
I warn him to cut it out
He continues so I tackle him to the floor and pull out a shotgun I find on the floor and press the barrel against his cheek
I say now you stop this now or I'm gonna put a huge hole in your floor directly behind your head.
Someone else in the room giggles
He nods his head slowly with wide eyes
I pump the shotgun several times to empty the shells from the barrel
Only 2 or three of them are good cartridges the others seem to be crumpled and bunk

At a certain point, he finds a gun on the floor and starts waving it around jokingly aiming it at me
I scold him and tell him to never aim his gun at anyone, never let the barrel point at another person he doesn't intend on killing.
He moves the barrel to the side and up and down trying out the technique, I nod.

I am back in the house from earlier in the dream, only now I know it to be an Airbnb type setup and the family is away but coming back today.
We have only lived here for a couple of days but I feel like cleaning up thoroughly
Opening the windows and scrubbing counters and doing dishes I realize the house was much dirtier when I started than the mess we made
Check out is 3 pm and it is almost 4 o'clock and the family gets home while I am cleaning
For some reason, I have a large pot of water on to boil for mac n cheese
I almost throw away a series of canisters like garden pots or trash cans that are all stacked together
The owner tells me they are "odds and ends" I gather this is a hoarding family and may not take to my cleaning house that well. Oh well, the kitchen is clean and the fresh air is starting to clear the space.

1/27/20

Driving from the passenger seat
Keep changing seats, driving from the backseat
A cop turns around and follows me into the neighborhood

I attend church, Will Smith gives me a turban, Shaq shows me how to put it on
Boys and girls are separated
We celebrate afterward and I learn Dave Chappelle was there too

Beginning of a middle school Sunday school class, I joke they have to audition
People go along with it we all laugh

1/31/20

Get hooked by a helicopter fishing line
One large hook goes through my right foot
The other is in my right hand
They land and still pull me along
My toes and top of my foot have been mauled and gory
My knee and leg are torn up too
It doesn't hurt but I gather I am in shock

I am driving someone's white truck back to the spa
I select quick travel and the truck appears across the street from the spa and I am standing inside suddenly
Nothing looks recognizable
There are dozens of employees just standing around
Several clinic-based modalities have been added and I gather there are several doctors working for her now
It is more like a doctor's office than a relaxing spa
Mel is kind and tells me to have a look around
One of her eyes is all red
There are many new walls and walkways I have no idea how to get around.
The float section of the spa has been dumbed down and all the old murals have been painted over
As I walk back I try to walk through a room that has people laying on cots/hospital beds
A doctor across the room talking to another doctor raises his hand to me and shakes his head as if to gesture not to come this way
I try to go around but all other walkways lead to this room
I take the long way around and exit the spa
I am in a mall now and the spa has an entrance with many signs above it
So many partnerships it isn't even recognizable as a float spa
I am sad

2/02/20

In a big church service
Everyone had taken off their shoes
It ends with a congregation in the back wanting to sing a long traditional song
The pastor wants everyone to sing it
The smaller congregation is from an older church and wanted to sing it for everyone else
Everyone tries to sing it at once and it sounds horrid
An older man in the group at the back is pointing at me
I cannot keep my balance
Everyone else is turned around watching them
I am standing in front of everyone
The pastor has everyone restart the song but has a favorite kid begin the lyrics
They are on an overhead projector at the front of the room
It has like 5 verses

2/03/20

Boxing fight hug punching
Food festival giveaway large tent with a band
Tryst with Em, put up a tarp from rain
They cut people's hair
Nighttime kings island run
Bathroom with ancient symbols
I have seen the real thing
Shoot purple energy from my hand
I am magic and elusive
The invisible one is someone else and threatens our family

2/04/20

I am in Hank Greens classroom talking to him
Just happen to be there
We shake hands he's happy that I'm a fan

We are in a food garden
Outdoor pavilion, many vines, and varieties
I eat part of a huge avocado
The seed is soft and makes me sick and woosy

A cult wears blue and white
They are super defensive
I am wearing all blue and questioning them
I see my old guitar teacher in the leader's inner circle
I try to introduce myself but they scoff in metaphor and riddles
I don't understand a word they are saying to me
The leader looks like Kenneth Copeland
We have a 1 on 1 exchange
He has glowy red night time eyes
He talks for a few minutes and everything segues to much later, we have all been put in a trance
The leader is deposed somehow
We party at his end playing musical instruments like a bluegrass jam band
I play a stand-up bass on its side
We are in a theatre

We witness a boat coming down the snowy icy street very quickly and doesn't see the water's edge
As he approaches the intersection his boat plunges under the water by the angle he was turning and he goes under the ice
I gather this is a problem and he might need help
I see his boat barely surface and his body is limp
I jump in the fridged icy water and swim towards him
He's in bad shape, I pick him up and get him to the shore, he's not just knocked out, his body is pretty messed up
His eye is all red
His limbs are eviscerated and barely holding together
I pull out my phone and begin to dial 911
I gather he's not going to make it
He starts to come to
I tell him he's going to be ok
Just relax, just relax, you're ok man, don't worry you're going to be alright
I am deeply worried he will realize how bad it is and freak out in his final moments
The more I look at him the worse it is
In the final second, he realizes how messed up he is, his eyes go wide, and then still
It is over

2/07/20

Meditating at the bottom of a pool
Slow-motion choreography fight
Android woman all metal
Dad's backseat with spiders
Victor's party house, escape from police
The horn says $500!
Ben wears cyber goth BDSM wear to impress a young blonde
There are different tribes of post-apocalyptic gear wearing folk

2/08/20

In theatre to watch show laying on the floor in front of seats, I have a ticket
Argue with people in front who are mad I'm not in the right place
Use light to read the ticket and find the right seat
I sit in the very back
There is a massive explosion elsewhere while I'm in the theatre
I feel shockwave

On phone with a Russian girl, I am undercover
Sitting on a pergola next to the house smoking a cig, it is disgusting
Rick rolls up in a wrecked green car held together by duct tape
The car rolls over when parked wrong on a wooden grass divider I help him escape

Stalked by an ancient mummy
In a hospital, I press the "feeling down" button in the elevator
Makes an appointment with someone
I have a badge
They don't let me in the employee's area
Another nurse talks to me
I vent some and describe being stalked
They don't believe me
Christopher Eccleston is with me

I am in Jamaica
With a disabled family
Most of them are in wheelchairs/hick like
They tell me it costs 4k a month to live there
It is a large family celebration
They eat chicken tenders, sliders, and cheap pan pizzas
One of the siblings is a sentient hand in a jar
I want to find Mokko
I have no money or supplies, just my clothes
They point me down the road

I walk by myself for a while
There is a large music festival going on by the path
Some white girls notice me but I keep walking
I see Matthew walking by in a crowd, I call to him
He is somewhat annoyed for me to meet him
He tells me he is doing a collab with ML7
His hair is a large purple fro
I ask if he can show me the way to Mokko
He agrees and we walk down the path
Many run-down communities and farm places
It starts to rain hard and it is night
There are 4-5 feet of water we are traveling through
They are walking on bundles of straw that are standing up in a field
We are all soaked
Matthew goes ahead and I lose him
The friend is not ML7 but we walk together
He is short white and wearing black-rimmed glasses
He tells me ML7 is overrated and only good at Anna, we laugh together

We walk into a large tree community
Carved pathways and many rooms people/families are living in
I lose the friend
I am by myself for a while
I befriend a jamaica guy
We talk about Jamaica
I am passionate and he can see
I have no money so the panhandlers leave me alone
We see a couple of girls dressed as fairies
One tries to do magic and makes a small boy levitate
My guide climbs behind him to the second floor and reveals the kid was on a string
It was a sham to get money out of tourists
I have no money or possessions
The Jamaican guy tells me he can see a part of jamaica inside of me
Something is here for me to find

Jamie 1

Not much to remember. It was a dream like a memory or something and she was in it. IK was waking up saying, "Jamie."Thankfully I sleep alone in this case.

Jamie 2

Funny dream. Had this last night. i'm standing in a house with jamie and some other girl. The girl keep saying I should also marry another girl, and i know who she meant. I kept saying, "That girl is already married, I'm not into that." And the girl kept saying How me and jamie should get that girl involved. I kept saying no and repeating myself. Jamie was smiling at me, thinking it was funny. I realized it was a joke and I started laughing at it. Bth me and jamie were laughing about it. So that was good I guess.

7th February 2021

Scraps:

Something about being outside with H. I see -14C on some temperature monitor. At some point I comment on how it feels just the same as 5C or something to that effect. It's a dingy and relatively cloudy day, can't remember anything else.