memorable

Ritual: wtb 3:15am, last wbtb 9:15am, woke 10:38am, SSILD: WILD

Last sleep, last chance. It was already 9:15am, but since I'd gone to bed so late, and all my previous attempts that night had been without real motivation and had resulted in falling asleep before completing a single cycle, figured I could try once more. SSILD: tempted to mix it with other techniques, but if I was going test this properly, ought to do it straight up. My timing was messy and uneven, but remembered that was okay. Did maybe three cycles on my back, uneven length, afraid of waking myself up too much, given that it was already mid-morning, so turned on my side and prepared to let myself sleep. A few times I ran through the cycles very lightly and quickly, just to get back in touch with my senses. At some point in this process the cat jumped on the bed. I was getting closer to sleep but figured I could work with this if he settled down and didn't just start yelling. Fortunately he decided to sleep on me, and I was able to work that sensation into my rotation. I wasn't cycling regularly, just randomly once in a while when I felt I might be losing touch.

I must have been already dreaming without knowing it, because I thought I was only thinking, and it never occurred to me that the presence of sustained visuals suggested otherwise. I was replying to posts on some online forum made my a friend—nothing to do with DV, no one even connected with dreaming, just an old friend I haven't talked to in a while (AS). He was posting something about falling asleep a certain way and used an acronym like "TILD," and I wanted to reply snarkily with something like, "Does TILD stand for 'talking to yourself in bed'?" At the time, I was convinced this phrase perfectly fit the acronym, so I was apparently already touched by dream logic. So I was trying to type out my reply, and I simply could not type "TILD" properly. I tried over and over, and my fingers kept slipping and hitting everything else on the keyboard. Technical difficulties like this are one of my dream signs, but since I was convinced I was still awake, it didn't occur to me to RC. On the contrary, I thought I was having this trouble typing because I was getting too sleepy! This was precisely the opposite of a false awakening: instead of losing dream awareness by believing I had woken up, on the contrary, I failed to realize I was dreaming because I thought I hadn't fallen asleep yet! (If there's no acronym for this yet, I propose FFA for "false falling asleep," as it pairs well with the more familiar term FA.)

Around then the music started. I could hear a Pixies song. At the time I was sure that it was a song I knew, and it was playing perfectly down to the last note, even though I hadn't heard it in years. (I can't remember now what song it was, if it was indeed a real one.) I knew the music wasn't coming from outside me, and figured it must just be hypnagogic activity. The whole time until now I had been aware of lying in my bed, which was part of the reason I thought that I hadn't quite fallen asleep yet. After the Pixies song played in its entirety and then concluded, a new song started. This one intrigued me even more, because I was sure it was a song I had never heard before. It was lively enough to make a good follow-up to the Pixies, but the singer had an accent that sounded African. It reminded me of the song "Rise" by Seun Kuti, one that I downloaded free from Amazon and put on my running mix—but I'm not familiar with his other work. This song, like one before it, was crystal clear... like so often before I regretted that I am not more musical in waking life, because I felt sure if I were musically literate I could wake up and recreate it. But I didn't feel like rousing myself and trying to hum the melody into my iPhone when I hadn't even gotten to sleep yet.

WILD: At some point around here the transition finalized, and I realized, hang on, I think I am asleep now! I'm in my dream body! I could probably just 'get up' without disrupting anything... so I got out of bed, and even though everything felt extremely lifelike, there was a lightness to my body that I was sure meant I was dreaming. I was impressed how bright and clear everything was, and how mobile I felt, unlike a lot of WILDs where it's dark at first and I'm crawling over the carpet trying to get traction. But perhaps integration wasn't perfect yet, because hardly had I gotten out of bed when I was disturbed by a loud rhythmic noise that threatened to disrupt the dream state and wake me. At first I thought it must be the mailman knocking on the door, because I'm expecting a package. But as it continued without abating, I realized it must actually be construction on the house up the hill. How foolish it was, I chided myself, to do my dream practice so late in the morning! The world wakes up and starts making loud noises; at least during the night it is quieter. (RL: It turns out there's nothing at the door and no construction going on outside, so despite these very reasonable hypotheses about bleedthrough stimuli, the sound appears to have been largely or entirely internal.)

The sound was extremely disruptive and I felt alarmingly close to being woken by it. But I had just gotten into a perfectly good dream and had no wish to lose it so soon (like that time recently when I was woken from an otherwise fantastic WILD by my own snoring—come to think of it, this is another possible culprit for the sound!) How can I deal with this and remain in the dream? The answer occurred instinctively: dance! So I started dancing to the noise. It was a bit like dancing to the sound of hammers, and my dance was correspondingly jerky and spasmodic, but it did the trick! After a while I felt that the dreamstate was no longer threatened, so I paused and looked at myself in the bedroom mirror. Once again, as in the last SSILD, I was impressed how much like my waking self I looked: the hair was different, shorter, but the same face, same eyes. I smiled at myself and could see the smile in the reflection. Interestingly, even though it was a full-length mirror, I have no conception of what I might have been wearing. I wasn't curious about it at the time I was looking, so I have no impression of it now. If I had to guess, I would suppose it was a loose white summer dress of the sort I've been wearing around the house lately (I don't wear these to bed though).

Even though I had come to terms with the noise, it was still loud and annoying, so I decided to leave the bedroom and move deeper into the house, hopefully away from it. It might have diminished slightly by the time I got to the kitchen, but only a little, so I keep walking through to the living room. I notice my fluffiest down comforter is heaped up on the couch for some reason. I pull it off, and as the folds of cloth open I see the dark silhouette of a butterfly within them. I am momentarily confused: is butterfly a dream figment, or is it real? That is, just as I thought the sound might have a source in waking life, it didn't seem improbable at that moment that a butterfly might have accidentally made it into the house. Dream logic prevented me from realizing that, even were that so, how would I realize it when I was asleep in my bed? The butterfly flutters up and flies into the kitchen, so I follow it. Around this time I am too distracted to notice the noise anymore, being completely engrossed in the butterfly. When I enter the kitchen, I notice that in place of the little black one I followed, about the size of an ordinary monarch, there are now two very large butterflies, their wingspans about 16 to 18 inches across. One is slightly larger than the other, a very pale greenish yellow. The other one has the same base color, but its wings have black borders.

I am reminded of the task I had been intending to work on next, "creo animál." However, it seems that the dream has jumped the gun and already created the animal for me, so I roll with it and decide to experiment with "rego animál" instead—apparently forgetting I've already done this one numerous times. I know I should try "intellego animál," as I've never tried anything with that technique, but I'm not sure how to go about it, so I decide to put it off until later. I hold out my hand and command "Rego animál," focusing on the larger, lighter-colored butterfly and intending for it to land on my hand. The butterflies flit around and ignore me. I try again. Doesn't work. What's the problem? They are "animals," aren't they? I mean, in the broad sense of the term, I'm pretty sure insects count. Do I need the "auram" sphere for this, as they are creatures of the air? But I've worked with wind before—I've found it quite straightforward to conjure all the elements directly—yet somehow this is harder. I'm forgetting all the times I have commanded animals very easily in other dreams, and am probably just making it harder for myself by all the Ars Magica rigamarole, but truth be told I like rigamarole... it's more stylish and satisfying than just making things happen in a perfunctory way. I conclude that the main problem is that I'm just not putting enough focus into my intent, and so the third time I sing the command. For some reason, I always get the best results in dreams when I sing to shape them, and sure enough, now the butterfly comes over and lands on my proffered hand.

What next? I walk the few steps back into the living room, and command the butterfly to fly up again and go land on the small table by the window on the other side of the couch. Again, it takes me a couple tries, but the butterfly finally obeys. As it lands there, it turns into a young light-haired woman. I am distracted from this transformation by a young blonde man who is now at my side. He is not the second butterfly, the one with black-bordered wings: around this time she transforms into a dark-haired woman who is standing near the closet. With all this transformation going on, I am inspired to try "Muto animál," so I direct this command to the young man, intending for him to turn into a butterfly. He stands there looking a bit obstinate or confused, so I sing the command in what I intend to be a very persuasive manner, and he finally complies—sort of. He lies down on his right side in a fetal position. He is not lying on the floor, but on some platform a few feet high that doesn't exist in RL (there would just be a wall there). He produces a bundle of red yarn that he stretches along the length of his spine. I watch, waiting for the transformation, but nothing happens. I command him again, and he respond that he is doing his best, but that it will take a very long time—maybe up to a year!—because the timing isn't right.

It's possible that the guy is just dicking me around, but he seems sincere, and he does offer that he could transform more easily into a goat. (OMG! I hadn't even realized until I wrote this that my first SSILD also involved a goat... odd coincidence, as I don't remember dreaming of goats under any other circumstances.) I say that this would be fine, so he gets back up, discards the red yarn, and transforms at once into a brown goat of ordinary size. He warns me that when he is a goat, he speaks in a strange high voice—which seems contradictory at first, because he has already turned into a goat and is still speaking in the same voice as before. However, after delivering the warning, his voice does change. From his description of a "high voice," I was expecting him to start speaking in falsetto, but instead he sounds more cartoonish, like his voice has been sped up. With his new voice he introduces himself to me, telling me his name is "Hemm." I find myself wondering how this is spelled. I imagine it with two 'mm's, but having only heard it spoken, I can't be sure. Should I ask? Well it can't hurt, and might help me remember the name better. "Is that spelled H-E-M or H-E-M-M?" I inquire. He replies that there's no way to know: he was just a blacksmith's son and never saw it written down.

I realize that I should get the names of everyone in the room, because then I'll be able to write a more detailed report when I wake up. So I turn and ask the girl sitting on the small table, formerly the pale butterfly. She tells me her name is "Anna." She is now holding a painting, a vertical rectangle about 24x36 inches, and turns it around to show me the back. "And his name was 'Jakachibe', he was a Japanese thief." I gather that the guy she mentions is represented on the front of the painting, but I barely had time to glimpse the image before she turned it around, and now she is just showing me the back of the canvas, where something like 'Jakachibe' is written in large sloppy pencil letters on a wooden crossbar. I say "something like" because the transliteration of the name is even worse than what I've rendered here—there was another 'h' in it somewhere, maybe even a 'q', something more like "Jaqhachibe," but I can't remember precisely—and I have to bite my tongue to refrain from telling her that "Jaqhachibe" doesn't sound like a proper Japanese name and even if it were, it certainly wouldn't be spelled that way in English. I just smile and nod, then turn to the dark-haired woman who has continued to stand by quietly. She tells me her name is "Caroline." After I hear each name, I am repeating it aloud, to better impress it on my memory.

After talking to each of the women in turn, I notice that the young man who had transformed into a goat has returned to his former human appearance. He is of average height, with wavy blonde hair, short but not too short, a bit tousled, and he has a pleasant, open face. He volunteers that his name—in this form—is "Viryec." Or at least, he says something that sounds like that phonetically, but is probably spelled very differently—"Virjece" occurs to me as the most likely possibility—so I start inquiring more about it. He tells me that his name means something like "sincere effort." This rings a bell—both in sound and meaning, it reminds me a lot of the Pali word viriya, which has been on my mind lately, so I ask him if that term has any relationship to his name. Although he and his name both strike me as coming from northern European stock, perhaps there is some ancient Indo-European etymological relationship with the Pali... but before he can reply, I wake up. I don't know why my dreams so often seem to end just before what promises to be some interesting revelation, but here we are again. Still, I'm not that disappointed because I have so much to write down!

Another awesome multi-sleep-cycle dreaming night with good retention, woohoo just need to start converting these to lucids somehow.

Will fill in details later when I have a real keyboard

16 minutes of voice recorder notes. Remee on, first waking came just about exactly at remee signal interval (4.5 hours)

+ escape from the bad boys to the golf course (near-epic)

+ signing a contract to take care of the doctors baby for 2 weeks for free

+ my kids catch me with NSFW content on the laptop and unclothed lying on the living room floor, very embarrassing

+ KS's father allows me in the club, luxurious and crazy tennis, exchanging gifts with Arnold Schwarzenegger

+ attack on our club I am a newbie with a shotgun getting advice from a veteran I shoot an opponent starting the war

+ playing chess he's really pushing his pawns my pieces are not yet on the board put them there use queen to back up my pawn break

+ tennis test I pass with faster and faster and more and more accurate volleys I may play Ivan Lendl I go lok for my shoes and socks to get ready to play

+ elevator in the hardware store they're evacuating go outside it's cold/rainy need to get back to the other section of the store which is far away

A friend and I are chased out of a Tibetan village by angry men trying to kill me with rocks and sticks. We run down a trail through the woods, straight into an old WWII tank, shooting directly at us. The tank shots don't go through big trees, but get stuck inside, and then explode, completely obliterating the trees. The same happens with rocks that we try to hide behind. We turn and run through more of the forest, off of any trail. Two people on a dirt bike are riding through the woods opposite of us, and 100ft to our right. I quickly drop to the ground so they don't see us, but they do. The person on the back of the dirt bike has a fully automatic rifle, and what appears to be lots of ammo.

We take cover behind some huge trees. I can see through one of the trees, and notice the rifle being aimed directly at me through the tree. So I crouch down as a bullet grazes my back, burning and tearing some of my skin off as it passes. This motivates me strongly to find safety from all this chaos. My friend and I run to a rope-bridge that crosses a large chasm, but soon find that we are now surrounded, people who want us dead on both sides of the bridge.

I kneel down, and draw a symbol I've never seen before, looking mostly like a 4. As I draw it, I say something about "We will be safe". It glows a bit. I trace it again, saying the same words, and it glows more. I repeat that a third time, semi-aware that we will be shot in a matter of seconds here on the bridge. The symbol glows brightly, radiating light all over, and I am immediately transported to Hell!

Standing on an invisible energy floor in the middle of a ring of gnarly floating rocks, glowing red and on fire, this whole mass just floats far above what looks like the ground level. Lots of other flaming / glowing rocks float around, most are massive, the size of multiple cruise liners. There are stone bridges and passageways leading from one to the other. I feel safe here, because I doubt any of my attackers would actually go to hell, even if it was just to kill me.

I seem to be alone in Hell, no one else around. All I hear is flames, and the creaking of really hot rocks. It all looks quite amazing. I walk down a rock staircase to a lower level, and find myself face to face with a massive demon. About 15 times my height, very thin, his feet and hands are massive blades, and he appears to be completely composed of strong metal. He steps on me, cleaving me in two rather effortlessly. Instead of dying, I find myself in one piece again nearby this same beast. Mostly still feeling happy to be free from those people shooting at me, I'm not afraid of this demon at all. Sensing this, he walks away disappointed. I walk along a rock path, either side of which is a vast expanse of molten rock, glowing bright orange and yellow, gently undulating as it flows around. I come across another giant demon beast. This one looks like a combination of a pit-bull, the incredible hulk, and a giant boulder with massive spikes on it. This demon is bulging with muscles and thick, rough skin, mostly black, but glowing red in the creases. Kind of the texture of a massive tree with big chunky tree bark. He has big spikes on his shoulders, and lots of pointy fangs, sort of drooling as he growls at me. Since I went to hell to be safe, I'm not afraid of him. He charges me, and I just watch to see what happens. He bites me, eating the top half of my body. Everything goes black for a bit, then I re-materialize right in front of him again, just watching curiously. He too gets discouraged and leaves. They seem to only enjoy mauling me when I'm afraid.

I explore around a bit, taking in the massive mountains of glowing spikey rocks, and rivers of magma. The whole ambiance of this place is a rather soothing red/orange/yellow color. I find it pleasing to my eyes.

I then wake up to my room being only a degree or two below body temperature, and I've sweat through everything. A similar temperature perception to the dream.

Karate and Kate from Lost

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

There is a Karate Tournament going on. I fight 2 times and win. I mess with a guy but nothing happens. I talk to my trainer about something. We also talk about my ex jujutsu trainers.
The scene changes and I am at a party. A lot of girls are there and also a lot of my friends. One girls start giving me a lapdance. She goes away after a while and winks at me while she leaves the room. Were suddenly at a different house from some guy. Kate from Lost is there and I kiss her. She asks me why that took so long and we go upstairs. I go to the bathroom. When I leave the bathroom Bruce Lee is standing there and wants to beat me up. I tell myself that hes actually nice and he vanishes. I go back into the room but its not Evang. Lilly anymore but Scarlett Johansson. We start doing it.
After were done I see E.L outside in a witch costume. She tells me to come downstairs. I open the door but some girl stands there blocking my way. I tell E.L she should call me but the girl says no. I leave and drive away through the woods.

7/19/14
On a trip. At mall. Sears. Make my way past miscellaneous stores; overall path is a D shape with the curve being the mall and the straight line is the parking lot and my way back to point A from point B. Big movie theater with areas to sit and a huge ramp-like area to watch from with people laying and/or sleeping on it. Sealed door exit from the theater. But a guy comes in through sealed door. I can go out then and I do. This looks like way back to my car. Somewhere in here I'm thinking that I haven't gotten a hotel yet. I can use my phone to search for hotel deals. Walking in parking lot I see my wife's cousin N with his nice convertible. This has to be a dream to run into you here out of town! Yup! I do some of my I know I'm a lucid challenges basically bragging but it's great for confidence...I say to him, hey can I have sex with ( his wife's name). "It would be like" and I make the motions as if his wife is laid out on the hood of his convertible. I say you could have sex with (insert my wife's name). This was somehow much more fun than it sounds and just acting it out around the hood of his car felt a lot like doing it. I think: Down to goals! I think I want to do the planet one next. I considered doing it with the elevator one but no
elevator around right now so just decide to fly up into space - way up and it gets dark I can't see anything but I stay calm fly up some more and then decide that I will just freefall until I hit a planet. (Note: It is my dream, I can make that work no matter how improbable IWL, LOL! In the dream I only thought that I can make this work. I didn't even go there with thinking about it being improbable IWL.) I simulate to myself a soft landing and I get it...I basically just find myself on solid ground as if I floated there like a feather. I can see through kind of a window or space into this other room or void (this is probably the dream reforming the environment after the void and free fall) and there are green rocks that have a lot of straight lines kind of like blocks thrown together creating odd shaped rocks, not unlike crystal formations. I cross through and there is big huge rocky formation that looks like it has teeth. I studied for a moment so that I can remember it later. The teeth are jagged kind of like sharks teeth. But the rest of it is not really shaped like creature really more like a big rock. I look around the room or space and there is another set of different shaped items that I come back to later but two of the items are shaped kind of like elongated travel chests. I could
see something move off in the corner of the room the distance but when I look over there there's nothing. I walked over that way and I say "I come in peace" while holding up my right hand while kind of laughing to myself . I am creating my own cheesy 50's Alien movie here I think to myself. He comes back out. It is very difficult to describe what he looks like but he is a short creature maybe 2 feet tall . As for something you would find on the earth, he is most like an octopus perhaps but the base that he walks around on is a little more rectangular shaped than circular like an octopus. He has a bit of a goofy friendly face and is kind of a grayish bluish color. I try a line from one of my previous lucid dreams and I say "bring me one of your hottest alien women." A doll looking thing comes down from above on a rope. It becomes more and more lifelike, and more human woman like as this plays out. The rope is around her and slipping up and down her body pulling up her white nightgown and revealing her naked body. It is strangely erotic. I will
leave out the rest of the sexual stuff with her but I may share by PM if requested. This space looks a lot like a big house. I decide to go back to look and kind of draw out all of the items on a sketch pad that I summon to help me remember this dreamscape, to really lock it into my memory. I go back over by the elongated chests but the chests are no longer there but I study the rest of the items but I drop the idea of drawing them. There are two clear glass bowls with a clear liquid in them. One has round multicolor items in it that look like fruits. The other one has some loaf shaped items sticking up out of it. It looks like it was set out for a party. I go off to my left and sure enough it's kind of liked a little party with my son there and some other people. Either I am back on earth now or they came up to visit! I then see my son's friend C and I think about how everyone talks about how promiscuous she has become. Not sure if she is still in college IWL. I think of another test / brag to my lucidity. I told my son I'm going to get it on with his friend C. I start to mount her and I see her luscious lips and switch gears and stick it in her mouth. She does a very nice job. Wow!!
After a bit of that the dreams fades back to bed but I remember that I to always have to check to see if it's a real awakening...but alas it is this time. I was reminded yesterday to put more of myself in the self awareness work. I also switched up my SSILD somatic cycle a little and did some self awareness work during WBTB which I shortened. I also woke up closer to 5.5 hours after bed for WBTB whereas the last few nights were around 4.5 and I seemed too tired to make it work right. Woke from dream around 7 something. 175

Late Late dream 10 a.m. Young guy is broadcasting himself in his bedroom on justin.tv for a long time. At this point it is on the news...his girlfriend got shot through the bedroom window while he was broadcasting and I said what are the chances of that...that can't be...that's impossible. Then a playback of all the stuff that happened before the shooting. His run in with some other teenagers at school, they call him something weak and they have some kind flipping competition to see who could do standing flips. The scene where his girlfriend was shot had him holding her in bed rolling around and it just did not look natural like he was acting, but it did not make me lucid either...none of this thinking that all this was impossible. The dream explained it away. Oh well, had my awesome LD already.

7/21/14 FA: hearing the alarm turn off warning stop without key punch sounds made me realize I am dreaming. I never really understood people feeling sleepy in a lucid dream until this time. I felt like dozing off within my lucid, so I did. 176

071814 a guy is telling me about all these cool artifacts he found...I'm seeing them visually like I'm in video game. Golden breastplate, etc. Thai government is looking for him (movie at bedtime=character is in Thailand before heading to Cambodia).

7/17 crater in ocean. Where I was when 17, recurring dream. Go back for son. Hydrofoil boat. Coach M has game at 6pm. L on sons grades, report card. "Lucid" is written out on grades in one place but instead of a clue that I am dreaming, I worry that wife will see. Coach M talks about how he lost his father. I relay this to my son. Looking for school office helps with college apps. It is after 5pm but she's still there (5am? Wake 545am). Lady sits funny almost showing up skirt. A skills test is done: measure the area of two adjacent tables....easy. Life lessons you need I guess.

Surfing

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I am going on a surfing trip with my mom. We take a boat to the island we are planning to go to. We enter it in a little bay and start driving. On the right I see a lot of big, expensive houses. From time to time the water colour changes from almost white to a nice blue where it gets a little deeper. A whale jumps out of the water and makes a huge jump. We arrive to a little island with a beach. I take my board and surf to the man whos supposed to show us everything. I dont wanna touch the ground because I am scared of animals trying to hurt me.There are 3 other people, two women and another guy. All look very surfer like.
It gets later and theres a party going on. A guy is handing out pills. I take five. I start freaking out and try talking to a friend but I cant. When I am sober again I tell my friend how weird that was and he tells me it was just sugar in the pills.

During a WBTB I found myself thinking "What can I find to prove that I am dreaming" and before I knew it I was. I found myself in a large palace type room with gold walls and waterfalls. I floated over to a waterfall and realized that the water was still and not flowing. Thinking about it for a while I remembered that I had a plan for my first lucid that lasted more than a couple seconds and I had attempted to go for it. I thought up a large portal in the middle of the room to take me back to my home and it looked like a rippling blue electric field that I had walked in. After going into it and arriving at what was supposed to be my home I had lost a lot of clarity. My vision was about as clear as my wake imagination where details just didn't exist. I soon lost control of the dream and remember nothing more.

After months of trying it feels pretty good to have something last longer than a couple seconds. I'll be there soon.

A second sun suddenly appeared in the sky one day. Outside a village were some abandoned ruins. Nobody ever entered the ruins, but they stood as a reminder for the great nation that used to exist there. It was all dark, as if evil magic was practiced there too.
I got word that something bad was coming. I was to warn what was called the locals of what was to come. The locals were the descendants of the previous civilization. They were Hawaiian and there was no anger between the locals and the townspeople.
After some time there came these servants from the sun. They were all black and came in many forms. They seemed to be good-hearted, and the people trusted them as faithful servants, but I knew something wasn't right. There seemed to be a constant flow of them appearing. I stayed away from them for a while, because I wanted nothing to do with them. The military saw the second sun as a bad omen and shot a rocket at the second sun. When the rocket hit it caused many explosions and spewed a black ink all over the place. The ground soaked it up really well and left some discoloration all over. I was in a car when it happened, and I remember the entire thing being covered in this black substance. It went away pretty quick, but it was thick. You could not see anything out of it.
When I finally saw these things, my first instinct was to kill them all, and at first I did. After killing quite a few, I found that the longer they were on the earth, the more sentient they got, and I had great remorse for killing one that could speak.
I think this dream was influenced by the Doctor Who episode Army of Ghosts. In that episode the cybermen were phasing in from a parallel Earth.

This was completed for Dreamer's DV Challenge!

Finding Fris
I am trying to lead meditation for my mom and sister. My mom criticizes me for laying out the cushions incorrectly. I have already had to interrupt my own meditation to help them, so I am not pleased. My sister is taking a very long time to get here! I finally say f*** this and get into my car and drive off.

I am driving through my hometown, and suddenly appear in the city where I live. I am driving through a college campus. I know I need to get to work soon, but realize I did not tell my wife where I was going. I reach for the phone to call her, but realize I have my old phone from college, and that I will not be able to contact her on this. I also realize I've brought my cat along by mistake, and that when I open the car door she will probably get out, and not be able to defend herself. I am starting to get stressed out by current events!

I find myself now walking in a mall that also happens to be a college campus, and it occurs to me that I might be dreaming. I do a nose pinch and can breathe. Lucid. I pause for a moment to just breathe and look around. Everything becomes strikingly vivid. I try to remember my tasks. At first, nothing comes, but then . . . Find Fris! I set off. I am very happy to have remembered the goal! I try to call Fris on my old phone, but this does not work. The phone only has one large green button in the center, and when I press this, I hear a voice come out, but for whatever reason (can't remember now) I am not satisfied with what I hear. I think I toss the phone away.

I begin running around calling out, "Where's Fris? Where's Fris?" A DC stops me and says he's found him. He points to a storefront ad for cigarettes. The add has a silhouette of a cartoon character on the front. I tell the DC that this is not good enough and continue my search. Different DCs stop me, either with rumors or reports, or just false information. As I am making my way down the thoroughfare, I notice an extremely beautiful DC -- maybe the most beautiful woman I've ever seen -- walking past me. I almost lost the objective and run after her, but then wrench my eyes away and continue on. Other male DCs were looking at her as well!

A friend from WL finally stops me as I am ascending some stairs and points me in another direction. "I just saw Fris over there, but watch out, because there is a crowd." I'm like, "Wtf, a crowd?" I run over to this spot and have to shove some DCs out of the way to get to the inner circle. Fris is sitting on a brick bench. He is a rapper, and all of the people are his fans. I ask him if he is really Fris, and he says, "Yeah, yeah." I wonder if I have to do anything else to meet the task. I ask Fris for his autograph (I mean, he is a famous rapper, right?). Fris agrees and is signing my paper when he sees my ring. He asks me if I am a mason. I say yes, I am. We talk about Freemasonry! Fris has all of these interesting skull rings on. He then asks me if he can hold my ring. I say certainly. He tries to work the ring off of my finger, but he is going so slowly. "Just pull it off," I say, "You're being too gentle." He finally gets it off and is examining it. By this time the crowd has dispersed (they walk away as we are talking). He takes out a lock-smithing tool kit and begins fiddling with my ring. I realize that he is trying to resize the ring to his own finger! I get kind of pissed about this, but then remember I am dreaming and that he can't do anything to my ring. I just shrug and watch. He is very meticulous. I then contemplate whether or not I've removed my ring in WL, and seem to feel my WL hand holding my ring. At this point the dream destabilizes and I wake up.

I am hired for a temporary janitor position at the college where I was a janitor for a year in the past. Hired onto my old crew, only a couple people have stuck around, the rest are really brand new to janitor work. One new guy is showing me the ropes, even though I know more than he does. Not being one to over-talk people, I am unable to let them know that I actually know what I'm doing, and have spent more time cleaning this exact building than all of them have combined....

We all get ready to head off to our particular areas, and I show one of the guys where I usually park my bicycle so he has a safe place for his as well. I remember my friend who got his bike stolen during his work shift, and have since found a better spot to park it. I have him follow me up the elevator in A wing. I get off on the wrong floor, and have to get on another elevator. This time, people are getting off, and some other people want to get on and go down instead of up, so I get back out and board the elevator across the room instead. Reaching the top floor, we cross a big bridge to C Wing, and I realize it would've been easier to just enter C Wing from outside instead of our approach. Too late now though.

There is a secret elevator that only maintenance workers and janitors have access to with our special keys that takes you to a remote mechanical room in the center of the building - perfectly safe place to lock a bike! I forgot to grab my set of keys, so instead, I go to a balcony that is rather exposed and uncomfortable for potential thieves to do their work. There is an elevator that leads down the the balcony. I wait for it, as my co-worker takes the stairs and then a ramp down to the balcony. I get on the elevator, this one is just a platform, open sides, like a lift in a factory or something, and ride it down 6 ft to the balcony where I lock my bike.

I think I'll need my set of janitor-keys, so I start to walk back toward the supervisor's office. Suddenly she is right in front of me, and hands me my set of keys! She also gives me a paper with a list of what tasks I have to do for that day. It's impossibly long, but I'm feeling confident. Some of the other janitors on my crew are nearby, and ask what I have to do on my sheet. I start to unfold it again, but before I can get a good look at it, an 18 Wheeler Grocery delivery driver turns the corner, panicked because he's lost. He looks really beaten up, lots of black and blues on his face, and some cuts and scrapes all over. A black eye too! I point the way back to his truck, and then suggest that he probably does MMA fighting like the other guy I know, and I wouldn't mess with those guys. It sounds fun, but I've never done it.

I start to float around through the air, and fly down a hallway at walking speed, back to the top of C-Wing near where my bike is parked. There is a party up on top, lots of loud music and people drinking unknown beverages. Police are there too, but don't seem to care about the loud music or anything. I turn down a few drinks, and avoid the police just out of habit. They are super offended that I am not drinking with them. I realize that my facebook profile makes it look like I drink, so I adjust my details from my phone, giving their drinking party a personal rating of 2/5 for me. I think that's a bit harsh, so I change it to 3/5. Somehow, they get notified that I rated them 3/5 and get even more upset at me. I try to explain why I did that, and don't do drugs. They just storm off, not hearing a word I say.

I walk toward my bicycle to make sure it is locked, and instead of finding my bicycle, I find an operating room, white walls, white floor, white ceiling, and a patient with some serious tubing coming out of his arm from his heart. He is a clone, about to be killed to have his organs harvested because the person he was cloned from needed an organ transplant. Also, someone needs his blood urgently. He looks like he's already dead, just on artificial breathing, with machines pumping blood around to keep the organs fresh for the next few minutes. I feel like I'm a clone too, waiting to be harvested for the person I'm cloned from. Well, "nothing to lose then". I pull one of the tubes out of him, and blood starts squirting out of it. For some reason, I have to really get a lot of blood. I don't know how I know this. So I pull the next tube, and more blood comes out. The surgeons start shouting at me as I pull the whole apparatus out of the guy's arm and a deluge of blood rushes out like a fire hose. Kinda gross... Before he loses all his blood, he is re-cloned. This clone of the clone sees me doing this, and gets really pissed off, and throws random surgical equipment at me in a rage. One of the other people I'm with is spontaneously cloned as well, and both of them start to chase me. Since I'm a clone, I know this isn't real, which means I have telekinesis.

I run away from them, not really concerned about any of this because it's not real. I use my telekinesis to pull debris and sharp objects into their path as I run down a metal bridge connecting two tall buildings as I pass through this void type area, surrounded by darkness except for the bridge, myself, and my pursuers. Some more people appear on the other side of the bridge and they surround me. Just as Neo would do in the Matrix, I use telekinesis to stop space and time around me, rendering everyone harmless and ridiculously slow. As I do this, the clone of the guy I was bloodletting comes to understand me, and there is peace between us. Immediately, there is also peace between the others who were attacking me as well, and it seems all conflicts have been resolved.

Dream - Lucid

I was at my old apartment, and a younger guy was living there. He looked to be about 20 or so, and had long, very curly dirty blonde hair. He was talking about how small the beds were at the apartment, and I agreed with him, telling him that I had to sleep on a pull-out couch, and Courtney C. had to scoot two beds together. I also told him that I got my own room to sleep in, while she had to sleep elsewhere in the apartment, even though she had her own room.

I then remember having to work. It was supposed to be at where I'm currently working, but I was having to greet people as they were entering this bungee jump ride. It was kind of like a video game at this point; it makes me think of Animal Crossing. Some of the people looked like they were made in that art style. Anyway, to greet them, I had to "click"on them, and they would say "Thank you!" in a little voice. It took me awhile to figure out how to greet them. Being greeted made them happy, and gave me points.

I then went back to my old apartment to sleep. I had to get up again in 4 hours to go back to work and work another 4 hours doing something else. When I walked in, the curly guy was in the living room fixing something. I thought that he was lucky that he didn't have to work a split shift. I went and took my Ambien to go to sleep, and laid down in the bed.

Then, I woke up for work again. I couldn't remember what my task that night was. I was thinking customer service, but that didn't seem right. I got there, and then remembered: I needed to go to the hospital. It was my due date for my baby. So I went there, which it just so happened to be where work was, and went into this room that had a hospital exam table, a hospital bed, a TV that had the news turned on, and 3 or so other pregnant women sitting in it. It was a kind of holding area for pregnant women who may go into labor. My mom was there with me. Apparently, I wasn't actually due for another two weeks and was having signs of early labor, so they wanted to monitor me. If I showed signs of labor, they would have to do an emergency C-section.

Then, it was just me and the pregnant women in the room. I was wondering if it would be alright for them to give me pain medicine even though I'd already had an ambien 4 hours prior. I laid down on the bed and watched the TV a little bit. I also remember seeing my reflection in something at some point, and thinking to myself that I didn't look pregnant, and I hadn't looked it when I had my daughter a few years ago either. I wondered what happened to her; my mom had adopted her, but I hadn't heard about her in awhile. I figured my mom had adopted her out to another family. I thought to myself that I should remember what happened to my daughter.

Then, I started to feel something dripping down my leg. I looked and saw a bit of blood. I then had the urge to lay down on my back and start pushing; I felt a twinge in my belly urging me to do so. So I started to lay on my back, and thought to myself
I was so glad that she shared her pain pills with me.
It sounded like I was narrating what was happening to me. I'm not sure who gave me pain pills or when, I just know it was one of the expectant mothers in the room.
I then felt the pain pills; I felt woozy and high, but no pain. The nurses rushed in and said they were going to put me under for the C-section. I said something back, but I don't remember what. They said it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't remember. They put the mask to my face to put me out, and I breathed it in a few times. I was then out like a light.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the room again, but things had calmed down. I got up out of the bed, even though I knew I probably wasn't supposed to. I was careful not to exert myself too much since I had just had a C-section. I held the area on my tummy where the stitches were. The room was empty now; I was alone in it. I wanted to know where my baby was, if it was a boy or girl, if it was even alive...

The doctor eventually came in to talk to me. They said that the baby was alive, it was a boy, but they had to amputate one of his legs.
"Was the cord wrapped around it?" I asked, thinking for sure that was what it had to be.
"No, it was because of a birth factor," said the doctor.
He then explained birth factors to me, and they run on a sliding scale back and forth, and whatever the factor is on when the birth happens determines if the baby has anything wrong with them or not. My birth factor had been high, while a low one would have also been bad. It was ideally supposed to be in the middle.

The fact that my child had a severed leg made me remember all the dreams I've had about having to get a leg or foot amputated, or about seeing people with prosthetic limbs (IWL this actually is a very common dream theme for me, though it hasn't been lately until last night). I then wondered if it was the Ambien that I had taken all throughout my pregnancy that caused this.

Anyway, I was so glad that my baby was alive, despite the leg. I knew I would love him just the same, and raise him like he did not have a defect. I walked into the nursery to see him. He was in a chamber at the very end of the room that had caution tape taped around the inside of it. Below the chamber was a bucket with two severed legs in it, although my child had only had one amputated. They almost looked like baby doll legs. There was a little blood. I wondered if that was just the holding chamber for severed legs.

I then was back in the holding area, and my husband came in. He was excited that I had had the baby! He asked if it was a boy or girl, and I said boy. His face lit up, and he got really excited. I had never seen him so excited about anything! I then told him about the leg. It seemed to slightly temper his excitement, but he was, like me, just glad the baby was ok. I imagined holding the baby, and putting him on my shoulders to play with him. I wondered if it would be different to do so because he had one leg.

I was then shopping with my mom at Kohl's for some baby supplies. I knew I needed bottles, so I went and found a package of three colored bottles that had Disney character head cut-outs at the nipple. I saw Mickey and Donald, but noticed that the third bottle was missing. I then picked up the package, and noticed that the Donald bottle had water in it. I told my mom that I had wanted to get those, but not if they had been used and were missing a bottle. I didn't see any more, either; it appeared to be the last one.

Wow, this dream was so vivid. Again, barely any sleep, but when I did sleep, holy crap. Definitely a memorable dream.

1. I had come to a large pool area from somewhere else, and it was as big as a water park. There were many rides. First I went with friends and family to one specific ride. It was a slide and was also an inflatable. I slid down it and once I did I immediately tried to climb back up. There was a clone of one specific person that would continually come down from each section of the slide. There were 3 sections on this slide. I climbed back up and held on to the edge of the slide where the drop was, kinda like a cliff. Another clone flew over me and eventually I lost my grip and fell. This time I went all the way down the slide and just got off. This is where I went to the huge pool. When I got there, everyone was either swimming, playing badminton, volleyball, or just chilling. I myself tried to play some badminton but couldnt because there wasnt enough room. I then just went to the middle of the pool and swimmed. Soon I realized that I had an inflatable tube wrapped around me and that I wasnt really swimming, I was just floating the entire time. Great, I wondered how I looked to other people. I floated my way towards this girl I thought I knew, but it turned out, I was just mistaken. I talked to this girl and asked her what she was doing, but I dont remember her reply. My friend Darius passed me and he too was in an inflatable tube. I grabbed onto his tube to get a free ride and he floated towards where I wanted to go. Darius never knew that I did this until I let go. When I let go of his tube He turned around and asked me "Who do you think you are?". I told him I just wanted to get over here fast. He said he was going to push me underwater, but I told him not too. He came over to me and was about to do it, but midway he just stopped for some reason and left me. I got out of the pool and walked over to this robot fighter arena. I went over and activated the robot. Turns out, you dont use robots, you just fight one super big strong one by yourself. I grabbed a gun and started the match. The way my gun would work is that you have to charge up each shot for about 10 seconds and then shoot. I did this for a while and almost killed the robot, but I was getting low on ammo and needed a new gun. I went to the corner of this arena and there was just a pile of guns laying on a platform. I grabbed one and as I did, some random dude decided to jump in to my arena and help me out. I got my gun and we both started firing down on the robot. But something was weird, he was getting stronger. The dude that was helping me out told me to back up cause, "its about to get messy", so I did. I watched the random dude. He was apparently super charging his gun to the point where it would completely obliterate the robot in one shot. He finished super charging his gun, then He jumped in front of the robot. All of a sudden the robot let out a huge blast of energy from his chest and immediately the dude that was helping me out flew and slammed against the back wall. He had just died. I decided it was getting too crazy inside the arena and left. But before I did, I went back to that gun platform and saw some papers that the dude had brought with him. I read the papers only to find that they were MY notes that I had taken about the brain earlier that night. I knew that he stole them, so I took them back. I also saw some past DJ entries on purple paper from a while back. I then walked down a road and oddly enough, all my friends were there. We walked to a point in the road where it was covered in barbed wire. There was an opening in the wire and we went through. This led to another road and halfway down the road, my friends car was parked. We got to the car and Ryan(it was his car) opened the door and told me and my other friend to get in because we were leaving. I asked why and he said because his feet hurt. So we got in and thats where it ended. (god that took me 30 minutes to type up)

2. I was in my house, laying on the carpet in front of my door. It was daytime. My sister was next to me. Out of no where, a random mole climbed onto my body and started rubbing his nose on my head. He was hairy, and he put ALOT of pressure to the point where I freaked out, threw him off, and got on my way. I looked around my house and noticed this was the Dream version of my house which had always interested me because it was really different from my real life house. At this point I became lucid and explored the house. I walked into my sisters room where a huge part of the house was. Her room led to the other 90% of the house. It filled me with curiosity and I made my way into her room. My dad went in front of me because I said something like, "I think this part of the house is haunted". (I always get that feeling when Im in that part of my house in dreams, its weird). So my dad walked down the next hallway into the other part of the house. I took off my glasses because they were messed up for some reason, and continued to follow my dad. At the end of the hallway it opened up into a huge foyer room. I looked down and past the stairway and saw a huge room with tons of candles lit in what looked like a religious way. This is where I got spooked. (by the way I lost my lucidity during this part because I wasnt really focused on what I wanted to do) The flames on the candles started flickering in an odd manner, and some even went out. I turned around and my dad disappeared. I was pretty scared because of the fact that every time I come back to this house it changes and gets bigger. INSANELY bigger. I decided to jump over the edge of the staircase and fly over to the other side. I made it.(I think this is where I lost my lucidity for sure). I came over to an elevator and a little girl was standing there. I walked to her and she had a snake in her hands. It bit her and she said something like, "Fine, if you're going to bite me over nothing then Im going to punish you." At this point I became the girl and choked the snake. I put it on the ground while choking it and stepped on it. Its fangs fell out and they were like crystals of a rainbow. I do not remember any more.

3. This was earlier in the first half of the night. I had "woken up" from a dream and decided to write down the dreams I just had. I got my dream journal and started writing down the two dreams I remembered. I then woke up for real and noticed that entire thing was a false awakening. It made me kinda upset because in the FA I had just recorded two dreams. I decided to go back to sleep and not record them.

4. I was in my bed in a dream. I was awakened by the sound of whispering in the corner of my room. The whispering got closer and louder and I thought it was a ghost or demon or something. I got my bible and tried to speak to rebuke the demon but when I did I found that my speech was impaired. I couldnt talk right. So I just got the bible and held it in my hand, as I viewed it as a weapon. Whatever it was never touched me.(btw Im not a religous person anymore so I dont know why this happened).

5. I was in my house AGAIN and I was with my family and two other people. The two other people were one dude, and one girl. They were surviving along with us. They werent a couple in the beginning of the dream, but by the end they started going out and disappeared. Anyways, in the beginning we were driving on the freeway, and a blizzard was basically happening. The freeway was covered completely in snow. It was also very dark and gloomy in the dream. As we continued driving, huge globs of mud started falling from the sky onto the earth, everywhere. I was terrified and thought that the world was ending(Usually I become lucid during nightmares like this, but this time I didnt). I thought it was real and prayed to God to save me(even though im agnostic, so idk why). Some how we ended up making it back to our house in one piece. When we made it back it was night time. As I walked into our driveway after I got out of the car, I noticed I was shirtless, and also that my friends were 2 yards away from me. I said "Whats up guys, come on in." They came in and we chilled and talked. I also talked to that couple alot. We talked about how we were going to survive. I hadnt seen the couple in a while so I decided to get up and look around for them. I went into my China room in my house(where all the chinese glassware and every valuable chines thing is) and found them cuddling in a corner. I talked to them for a sec to make sure everything was cool and left them. (btw they were about my age, I think one year older.) I returned to find that all my friends were gone. Thats all I remember, even though there was ALOT more to this dream.

Dream recall has really improved, and Im remembering dreams from early in the night.

Dream 1

I'm at a campsite and these two men break out in a fight, there is a crowd gathered round to watch. Then angrily he pulls out a gun, its some sort of submachine gun he turns round and starts firing at the crowd. Everyone starts running, including me, I'm running for my life I run round a corner and its on an edge of the cliff, I keep running round and it comes to a corner where there's a dead end. Then the guy who the man was after comes running round too, then I hear the man shout 'Haha! I know you're round here.' I had the choice, I knew if I pushed him off I'd survive. So I did it, I pushed him straight off the cliff to his death. The guy came round and let me go. I then look at my thumb and it has a cut, which hurt. I realise that its a dream and I could heal my thumb. I'm semi lucid now, aware that its a dream but not fully. I heal the cut, everything turns vivid. Now I really turn lucid. I remember my goal to try LSD in a dream. There are lots of plants to my left, I know if I put my hand in there I will find some. I did, I pulled out some large colourful paper which I knew was LSD. I ate it, and expected the effcts to happen straight away, there was a quick flash of colour but I lose lucidity.

Still aware its a dream but not lucid, I grab some friends and show them the benefits of lucid dreaming, I take them to a caravan where they can do whatever they like. Then I tell one of my friends what I done earlier in a dream, I made him come outside to tell him because it felt like everyone was watching me. He said it was ok, don't tell the police but if they ask you, tell them what you told me and they'll let you off. I knew they would find me if they found the body as my fingerprints were on the body. Another friend rings me to see what I'm up too, he picks me up in his car and we drive off the campsite, on the way out I look out the window. I see policeboats and rescue teams driving up to where the body fell. I realise here that it as only a matter of time before they approach me.

July 19, 2014 9:53AM

3mg melatonin before bed

Rating: 4/5

I had a few dreams this night that were good. The first escapes me at the moment.

The second dream has to be one of my favorite ones yet. I cant remember everything I did because there was just so much! Started out with a small group of people in a big city full of random obstacles, buildings, themes, ect. While some spots remain blank I can still remember some. We started in a white building all together, was dim lit and had whit walls but nothing in it. We went out into the street, I don't know what they did but I started by trying to climb high. We were all being chased by a guy with a circular saw too to make things crazier. I went my own way first into a building that was being built still. I went up a metal grate staircase to the second floor. It was kinda dark up here. The floor was steel grate material, wall was sheet metal, there were tools and pipes laying around all over the place. There was a lot of rust as well, as if it was started then abandoned. I hid in a concrete pipe that was up there at first, looked through a window it had, waited a minute but it started rolling forward so I got out and stopped before it hit a rail and made a loud noise. I went farther into the room up a steel beam staircase to the 3rd floor. But looking below it was never ending darkness so I got up quick. Once I made it there, I heard the saw rev a few times, and saw a shadow go by above me on the fourth floor. This floor(3rd) looked like the one below, and I could still see below because of the metal grate floor. This floor had some windows around part of it though. I went left after coming up to the floor into a hallway. (This part is hard to piece together because I end up going into a room I was in earlier in the dream, but cant remember when I was). I came out to an outside area on top of a roof to a house, I see that people are parked nearby and I quickly duck into a hole in the roof into the house. The part i first ducked in was damaged by fire, so I went thru an open door way into another room. It is full of small glass items, and there is a lot of tables. It is a small room that is crowded. I knock over something, then someone tells me it is my grandmothers stuff. I look in one more room and it is basically full of the same type of stuff. This place does resemble my grandmother house. Greenish carpet, yellow cabinets with decorative glass things in it. My grandmother kept appearing and disappearing throughout this house.

Unfortunately that what i remember most vividly from that dream, theres much more I'm blanking on. I basically explored this huge city going from room to room and building to building doing what i love in real life. There was so much to see.

+for this dream, the beginning is a bit tough to remember. The whole dream is on a overcast day. I am with a group of people, some real family, some people i have never seen. We are riding through a grass land trying to get to a enemy camp. The field has pale green grass, and pine tree lines on either side with a few pines in the field, it is not flat either, there are hills. We drive up to the camp where we get out of the vehicles, and hide near the road where they are working. For some reason one of our cars is visible and i somehow mover it to the side by pushing, and i viewed the move of it in 3rd person for about 2 seconds. So me and this girl move into the crowd of people unnoticed and quickly get a job clearing streets, and doing geology work to blend in. First i ride in the back of the white pickup truck, while the girl drives, and i clear debris with some sort of scoop thing. Then we get to a entrance in the rock, where i get out and do sone work, thinking about my rock hammer i left at home in real life, still not knowing I'm in a dream. I break some of the dark grey rock and find a opaque light orange crystal. I take it out by hand and it is about 1.5" long and has a great crystal structure. I put it away and go to clean more rock but then i wake.

Getting ready to embark upon a lengthy trip with no apparent limit on the duration, my mom asks me, "Did you pack the camera?"
"No, I ran out of time... I didn't even have a chance to look at my list of things I wanted to pack. But I did pack the essentials." I think about if I had more time, I would have been able to pack much better for this trip. Too late now, I'll just have to make do with what I've got.

/// I interpret this dream to be referring to my preparations for what comes after this life. When that time comes, will I be happy with what I have prepared? Or will I wish I had made more time to really prepare well... Right now, I feel I've prepared enough, but still lacking in a lot of areas. Maybe non-essential, but nevertheless very helpful and nice. Well, me, get down to business!

Not sure if the camera is just a general symbol for having more potential preparedness, or if it is a specific symbol relating to the ability to share experiences with others.