non-lucid

I was a security guard at a prison, but not a corrections officer. I was partnered with a girl and we would take turns with the other group in sleeping and doing rounds. I had my gear from work and I even saw my rat Meek.

I was in my car with Laurie driving in a suburban neighborhood that was on a hill. She was speeding and made a turn that had no exit and ended up crashing the car into a house. I got out of the car and started running, worrying that the owners of the house would come out but I went back to file an insurance claim.

I was in some room in Venezuela with my duty belt on the floor. I was keeping it a secret because I didn't want people to know about it and tell the government or have it stolen. The room then turned into a warehouse and I was with Laurie. There was a bedroom where we would stay in. I knew I was still with Desirae but she was somewhere else and we would keep in touch via text. She was freaking out cus of some stuff so she had her cousins send me mean voicemails. I got in a work van and parked it near a door so I could see who would come in and out of the warehouse.

Dream
Notes

I was playing Castle TD and the objective was to defend some eggs while they hatched. I was successful, so I went into the apartments with Laurie. Laurie was complaining because I said that I was breathing dangerous gas. I was then outside working out and doing some stuff with 2 of my cars. Nikki kept getting out of the apartment. I saw some skater kids and started talking smack to them. Moments later, cops showed up and asked me about it, me denying everything. A cop pushed a kid and he thought I did it so I took him down and cuffed him. The cops were gonna take me in so they tried cuffing me but I didn't let them. I saw that one cop was cuffed so I grabbed the other cuff and put it on another cop and ran. I ran and headed towards Rebecca's apartment, where I was going to hide, but remembered that they might look for me there. I ran towards Kayla's apartment but got the wrong one. I saw an Air Force helicopter with cops in it looking for me. I ran and got in the right apartment where I asked for help. I asked if I should turn myself in or just be a hardened criminal.

The day before, I was playing Castle TD and asked myself "I play this game quite often, I wonder why I don't have any dreams about it."
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I was watching an extra episode on the game The Walking Dead. The girl went on about how so much changed after she saved someone and got back on the boat. She then left her group, which was turning corrupt.
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I was at an agency that I've been at in one of my lucid dreams. I was picking up money and didn't know all the paperwork that had to be signed but once they asked me for the time, I noticed my watch was weird. I was about to jump up and say that I was in a dream but I didn't, in case I wasn't. I counted my fingers and counted 5 but since I was being rushed, I wasn't able to keep doing reality checks.

I was watching a video of a kid jump into some water with a GoPro. Once he made it into the water, I could see 2 big sharks or whales.

I was in some sort of school running against some people in a gym, which was pretty crowded. While running, there was a lot of things that were distracting me like eating a sandwich, talking to friends, etc. In the end, I got 3rd place and some girl was teaching me how to eat a sandwich.
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I was at a small reunion with Laurie and her friend Mitchell was there. I started picking on him and hitting him while he was cooking food. We went outside to fight and I think I hit him a few more times but then I went inside and served him some food and apologized.
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I was in Counter Strike and was killing the enemy team with an awp. Some stuff started happening about some paperwork or something.
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I was playing New Vegas and was getting mods for my game. I was also talking to Laurie. Some guy I knew was in the Marines and he got killed so I was getting him ready for the Morgue. I was talking to the person getting him ready for his casket and how he should look. I then talked with his parents on how they had to pay the guy.

I was at work and went into a sanctuary or cave with a black rock and green stuff going through it. My partner and I got ambushed by some monsters and we got beat pretty badly. We left and went to Santa Fe, where everything was different and some guy was telling us that he doesn't do business with us anymore because he found a spider in his money bag.

I was with Kristy and a few other people at my old school in Venezuela. People were bullying Kristy so I started comforting her. We left and I was with a group of people that didn't wanna go help with something. When we got outside, the sky was black but as bright as day. It looked so beautiful that I did a reality check, counting 8 fingers in one hand and looking at my watch, which was different. I didn't snap that I was dreaming and carried on. I continued and some backpacks caught on fire so I got a hose and extinguished the flames. I was telling myself I was a firefighter.

9.16.14

Dream happend on 9.15.14, while sleeping over at friends house.

DR: I'm walking around a place that looks like my mom's place. Her kitchen is there for sure, only longer. Adjacent hallway is similar, but everything is bigger.

So as I'm walking throught the place, I sence evil presense. I feel wind around me, but only I feel it. My unbuttoned shirt is filling up with air and flapping in the wind. It's not a good wind. It's the presense.

There is one person there and suddenly I see the look of horror on her? face and she? is backing away from me. I'm like "wth"? I walk to the mirror and I see myself looking exactly as I do IWL. I'm kinda scared to look, expecting devil horns to show on my head. But as i look, there are no horns. I see my head and torso and I'm wearing my red shirt. But my face starts to very slowly morph into one that looks more male. I remember thinking "oh, so devil is male". I was starting to get scared and woke up.

Date: 25 Aug

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Cannot quite recall the exact beginning but remember willing the scene to appear as I was falling alseep. There were a number of coming into shape items and I told myself that my subcon is at this point trying to make something out of them so concentrate. There were a number of scenes.

I don't recall what happened when I finally entered the dream but there was some active dream scenario going on.

After looking around expectedly and not seeing a pyramid to enter, I notice people getting on a bus and wonder whether to give it a try. It doesn't strike me as possible to manipulate the dream as much as to be inside the bus while actually going somewhere and really get there but I give it a try. It's getting rather full, but I find a free seat and sit there. To be certain this tour bus is going in the right direction, I shout and make them all repeat "We are going to the Pyramid of Giza". Here I have thoughts about whether my throat is moving (DV thread) as I feel physical pressure while shouting.

Don't recall getting off the bus and in the next scene I'm already inside this place with an atmosphere of an excavation dig. It looks as if I've made it past the pyramid's entrance and am now in how I in the dream more or less imagine its interior. It has the feel and look of a number of previous dreams about sightseeing in Egypt. Excited, I decide to explore the ancient Egyptian structure. There are two directions to go and after some maneuvering I orient myself towards what feels like the center.

It is now quite lively, full of crowds of people getting in and coming out. While this should be the interior of the pyramid and be very spacey in my dreaming mind, it still feels to me as if I'm taking forever to walk towards the official "lobby". It's like a tourist attraction where you first have to go to the lobby/cashier and then enter a separate part with the things to see. On my way to the center, I pass by a girl with a pink feather on her head and my hand by mistake gets into her hair. As a result the feather falls from her head and then I take it. How weird, I think to myself, what my hand did. The feather is beautiful and as realistic as it gets, I'm very fascinated by the looks of it and the feel of the dream in general.

As I continue on my way, the little girl catches up with me and starts whining about her feather. I tell her that I didn't mean to take it on purpose rather it just happened as an accident and give it back. She calms down continues towards the exit, while I continue my walk toward the center in this carpet covered corridor. I finally reach the center and what lies beyond. There is a large number of exhibition items on each side of the walls. At this point they are all Egyptian, way too many to be able to recall, but I remember a statue of Anubis in dark stone with decorations in green and gold, maybe a round necklace with green stone. I start thinking about how this place now almost completely resembles a museum and continue my walk, looking at the fancy items.

The dream ends at some point. I stay still but it does take a bit longer.

DEILD: As I fall asleep, I unconsciously grab onto the scene and make it so that the same place comes back. The ancient stuff is still around. There were also large columns at some point but I vaguely recall these. Just found it a bit weird to be back, as I wasn't too focused consciously on that. I continue my tour in this pyramid museum, going from room to room and looking at lots of exhibition items. This time they are more from classic and medieval ages and I see a room full of different sizes and styles of angel statues. They all look really cute and I wonder why do they have so many angel statues here.

I continue down the corridors looking at items but soon hear angry shouts as if some sort of riot is taking place. I think about inception. They surely won't catch up with me, but despite my weak efforts to ignore them, the trouble makers are coming closer. Now I have a typical dream problem, I really want to leave this place but am trapped in an endless labyrinth of corridors and doors. There is a really weird looking one having a blurred net in front but I as I approach the net kind of disappears. I remind myself to think about outside, windows and things like that. I go through the door and finally in a room with a glass door leading to the outside. It looks locked but I open it just like that.

A DC comes and starts talking about something, kind of trying to hijack the dream with their own scenario while I find myself staring at a pot full of poached eggs. For a moment I become distracted but then come to my senses again. There is a cool looking tower nearby and I head in its direction.

Worried that it's time to wake up, I end up having an FA where I press the snooze button and wild in dream. A brief ld moment in a grandma's place before I wake up for real.

September 15, 2014

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I was picking up Kels from some sort of practice at my old high school. It was night time, and I was supposed to have my car, but instead, I had biked there. I was looking around for her, and couldn't find her, and then there was something running around my feet. I couldn't tell what the heck it was, and so I said, "WTF IS THAT!?"

"I dunno, Dog? Raccoon?" Said someone nearby.

"IS IT RABID?!"

"Yeah, probably."

I got super scared and tried to kick the thing away from me, but it kept running around my feet.

Finally, Kels was done and came up to me. "Where the hell were you?!" I asked.
She said she'd had to go inside and put on some under-armor because it was cold.
Or something.

Date: 22 Aug

Behind with journalling as usual. These are for CL's dare about the Great Pyramid.

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Back to the old place dream. It seems even though I left the place, I have the dream memory that I come back and stay here every time for a while [yes, every couple of dreams!]. I feel guilty about not informing the landlord and think about packing my stuff.

At some point when lying in that room's bed, I get in touch with both realities (i.e. start to feel my physical body) maybe just waking up as everything looks very blurry now. Semi consciously, I exert efforts to bring back the dream. The room forms again, everything is perfect even the table although it is not quite an exact match.

I open the window, it's very dark and I look in direction of the neighbors to see a young woman holding or throwing some object. I look at the mostly cloudless sky and then remember an on-going goal [enjoy the night sky], expecting to see cool constellations but the stars look rather normal even too dim. I feel the urge to fly up and so go ahead and lift off.

This flying style is more like that of a bird (hands spread like wings), at any rate it feels like a bird sliding on currents of air. An unpleasant feel as I quickly fly down - it's a physical sensation rather than a mental one. I wonder about it and try to control it, fly gliding down a bit. At some point I land on the top of a nearby building. There is a DC below trying to interact with me. I remember the pyramid task but there is snow all around it doesn't quite feel right. Nevertheless, I try to summon a pyramid by spontaneously getting my hands to form a triangle and I impose it on the background, staring inside to see the pyramid. This results in a good but distant version of the pyramid where I feel like it will take too much time to reach so try again.

The outcome is a smaller pyramid, made of much lighter white greyish stone and something that looks like an entrance. As I come closer I disappointedly ascertain that this pyramid is way too small and the entrance is more like a diagonally shaped part of the design. I wonder whether this would count but dismiss the idea.

Somehow, possibly after turning around and looking for a place to do another summon, I end up inside a store. I continue with my summons here (facing the windows) and make a triangle with my hands, looking inside with squinting eyes causing blurred vision which helps manipulate the color and material of the pyramid. Alas, all resulting pyramids are a shifty mirrage and their place is taken by something like a large mosque from a nicely matching material. I leave the store to explore and see if anything can be made with the structure but the alarm wakes me up.


Date: 24 Aug

I'm in some sort cafe with couple of Asians and Emm. We are about to drink tea but I have to leave without paying as everybody evacuates due to disease alarm. On my way out I contemplate that in this dream Emm didn't quite play a positive role.

After getting out, I end up in this yard and look ahead. At this point am already lucid after the contemplations about classmate Emm. The grass and eveything else has a red tint and it looks very interesting. I remember that this was a task [add photoshop effect] but think that since it's already done it may not count. Once again I have an urge to take off and just fly ahead. I do so and end up flying between trees and bushes and towards a darker area of the woods. It doesn't look very inviting and also there is the reduction of visual stimuli that adds to the feel. Before I can do anything else the dream falls apart.

PS: Stay tuned for the next part!

i didnt feel like naming this one casue im a lil embarassed to put reccuring gay dream number 2. yes in this dream i was masterbating my best friend. it was really kinda like felt good in the dream. i dont know what this means.

I am standing in a tree-house. A boy with short, light brown hair stands across from me. He is looking up towards the heavens. I glance at him, then I look up. I look at him again: he is peaceful. His heart is radiating love, complete, unconditional love. He is thinking silently. We are both on DMT. An older, yet remarkably young, man walks in. He stands next to the boy - he is, perhaps, the boy's father or uncle. He is there to protect us. The tree house starts spinning, and there is a Kennywood sign in the distance. None of us are scared. It just is, and we are joyous. It spins and spins and spins.
Then I wake up, and the boy is gone. His father is gone. I want to meet them. God, were they real? I ask. I don't get a clear answer. I get an answer, I'm just not sure whether or not that answer came from God or my subconsciousness. He's Aaron Dottle's roommate in heaven. The father? Or uncle? I don't know.
I am laying down, my head is on my pillow. I try to savor the memory of the dream. Put it into my memory, remember what he looked like. I don't know his name. I stop thinking about Aaron's roommate - who I will meet someday - and shut my eyelids.
I am sitting in a room with a fireplace. There are tables with chairs. Couches. We are sitting discussing the Bible. It's one of those Upper Room dreams, the ones that make me want to go back to Pittsburgh and have fellowship with the Upper Room. I love them dearly...Jenna, Mike, Deirdre. We are all sitting together talking. There is complete honesty. None of us are judging. We are thinking about God, and Mike, the pastor, is teaching. We listen calmly, joyously. I ask them, "Have you seen Damon?" He is my soul-mate that I lost sight of, lost my chances with, but I know that, even though he pretends to hate me, he loves me as deeply as I love him. I gave away his secret. I can't tell you what it is. I hear, "He always asks, 'Have you seen Cali?'" and that makes me happy. Then I look down at my Bible. I read the words on the page. Do not be decieved: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galations 6:7-10 I look up from my green leather Bible. We discuss. I think, 'I'll never give up on Damon.' Then I see Damon outside of the window. He is looking in and the window is open. I stand up and jump out the window and Damon starts running. I am running after him, hearing And I'll be by your side, wherever you fall in the dead of night, whenever you call and please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you. Suddenly the running is all there is: me and Damon, in heaven, running and running. We don't stop. Our feet silently touch the fresh green grass.
I open my eyes slowly. I'm back in my bed, and Damon is nowhere to be found. I remember hearing Tenth Avenue North. I want to be by Damon's side, I think. And I know that God is by Damon's side. I think, I hope Damon becomes Christian before he dies. I don't want him to go to Hell. I know he will get out and I will see him. I'll wait by his bed. I'll watch him sleep. And when he opens his eyelids, he'll finally stop dreaming. I'll stay awake. We'll stay up all night talking, as if we were communicating telepathically.
We were. I know it, because he stabbed me, and I woke up. He read my mind. He told me, 'If you're right, I'm happy.' And I know that someday, he will love God as much as I do. (He didn't stab me, but for a while I thought he did because I felt a sharp pain in my heart)
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I was in a library with many floors. I was exploring the books. Then suddenly I was in a painting class. I was holding a paintbrush. I dipped it into skin color paint, and touched the brush to the blank page in front of me.
There have been many dreams of heaven swimming pools. In one of them, it was small and divided between lanes, and I had a vest on. Something felt wrong, and I asked, Where’s Jesus, because in the dream I thought I was in heaven but everything was so wrong. Then the dream changed. Someone found me and held my hand and walked with me to a different area. One that was peaceful and beautiful. And then the person lead me to the pool in a building. It was huge and the water was clear and there were lap lanes but not only lap lanes. There was a lifeguard and she was climbing up the chair where lifeguards sat. It made me realize that I wouldn’t drown; no one in heaven would ever let me drown. Then I awoke happy, happy that I changed my dream by asking for Jesus. It was sort of lucid dreaming.
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I let the nightmares go. I just let myself forget them. I am not that person that was dreaming. Night changes many thoughts, and it wasn’t real. So I can’t tell you what it was that made me think differently about God, but right now I love God, so that’s all that matters.

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I joined a gym. They have free exercise classes. Am I awake? Am I dreaming? I don’t think so. From now on I plan to question my consciousness…ask myself if I’m awake. Then someday I’ll ask myself, am I awake? While I am sleeping. Maybe I’ll have more lucid dream.
Come back to reality, wake from your lucid dream. Sometimes I am just a dreamer. I go through life in a dreamlike way, but now I am awake. I am awake because I hear music and I’m not in the tunnel machine that I often go through while I’m sleeping and dreaming. There isn’t that nightmarish cliff that I saw when I was dreaming about wanting to buy donuts in Pittsburgh. There was a cliff and a railing and a road below the cliff, and I was scared out of my mind.
I dreamt I was loving Sara Leticia, but I don’t remember the dream, but the essence was that she had room for me in her life, and that she was letting me into her life with Stefan. Before that I had a dream that I was doing back handsprings, and it was so easy and simple. One day, like in my many gymnastics dreams, I will do backhandsprings and back tucks and they will be simple and easy. After thousands of years of training, I will do gymnastics like the girl I wish I was, the girl I wish I grew up as.
Because I didn’t become that girl (yet), I became the girl that loves violin and writing. Sometimes I feel absolutely joyous listening to myself playing violin. Sometimes I feel bored playing violin, not loving the sound I’m making, so I put my violin away, and I go someplace quiet to sit and think. Later I pick up the violin again and try to make it sing.
I had a dream where I was in heaven and running. There was a staircase that went down millions of feet and then a lovely green hill. Wherever I was I just kept running. Then I found some people and we were looking at rocks and gently putting them in the water. I found a red and black rock that looked like a beating heart. Someone said, "Look for a Jesus colored rock." I said, the rock I found is red and that's the color of the blood He shed to save us. Earlier in the dream I was sharing clothing that a boy was wearing, we swapped clothing. When I woke up it was like there was a rock laying on top of my chest, I couldn't move and it was scary. The lesson I learned: just keep running, just keep holding on, because there will be God's light somewhere in the distance, and you will find it, you will dream it, you will hold onto God's love. Just keep running through the rocky terrain and you will find a beautiful garden.

Morning of September 16, 2014. Tuesday.



This is a rather bizarre and ridiculous dream; more amusing in afterthought.

Two (unknown) people, a male and a female, are on a large stage in front of a very large audience. The setting is possibly loosely modeled after my old high school auditorium but probably could be anywhere. They are there to demonstrate a special type of vacuum cleaner which also refurbishes any environment to eventual perfection. Also on the stage is some sort of living room setting but with various types of curtains in different areas.

Apparently the male is the one promoting the device and the female is there as possibly part of an audience participation event. The machine is turned on and, over time, the curtains, couch on stage, and carpeted floor - even the clothes the people on stage are wearing - become more and more beautiful, solely due to the removal of tiny particulates - dust motes and such. More and more, the audiences gasps in amazement as the setting becomes cleaner and cleaner and more perfect and more pleasant in appearance. In my dream, I even notice a continuously increasing enhancement of my own cheerful mood.

Eventually, however, the vacuum-cleaner-like machine seems to increase in power, going at too high of a speed. There is a rather amusing scene where the female is holding onto the machine and flying through the air (being pulled by the machine, which is creating some sort of storm-like atmosphere on the stage, with a lot of wind and roaring) with the male holding onto her ankles and being dragged across the stage on his feet. Small pieces of stuffing from the couch are roaring around the stage everywhere (like a sandstorm) and there is thunder. I get the impression that it may start raining. (Aside from having heard the vacuum cleaner just recently - this is also quite possibly influenced by coincidentally having very recently seen two scenes with sandstorms with heavy, damaging particulates that shared the same scenario - those being in “Prometheus” from 2012 and in an episode of “Outcasts” from 2011).

The audience is now gasping for a different reason, watching the onstage “storm”, yet I still get the impression that everything will turn out if they get the machine under control again. What is going on presently may be related somewhat to the concept of sandblasting but at a very augmented level.

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