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Last night's dream was a sad one for me. Took me a few moments after waking up to realize it didn't actually happen.
I was hanging out in my old middle school for whatever reason. All of a sudden, I noticed my girlfriend outside of the door in the hallway, being insulted by some guy. Obviously angry, I stormed out there and beat the guy up, telling him to never disrespect her ever again. Afterwards, my girlfriend and I wandered off. As we passed by more people in the school, she decided to run ahead of me and hang out with them instead. So, naturally, I started feeling as if she was mad at me.
I eventually asked her about this. "Are you mad at me about beating up that kid? I'm sorry."
She shook her head and said it wasn't that. I asked what it was. At this point, I can't remember what we discussed, but I do remember it ending with us standing by a poolside, me begging her to forgive me about something, and her splashing me with water and running away.
Woke up afterwards with a sad feeling, only to realize it was just a dream.

My friend Chloe was saying how she loved her boyfriend Joe and that he like gave her a present and she was going to thank him for it like and she said that last part kinda horny so they were going to have sex. I remember her and and her friends like sitting around her talking and she was smiling thinking about it. I think I was a little jealous but otherwise pretty detached from the dream.

In my dream I seen this pretty woman. I decided to make her my girlfriend, so I went up to her and asked her out. She was willing to be my girlfriend and seemed pleased that I asked her. It didn't take long before we were holding hands and I would put my arm around her. I realized I had fallen in love with her, it was great. She was much shorter than me, only coming up to my shoulder height and me being 6 foot 2 inch tall. Her hair color was a dirty blond, and shoulder length. The place we met was this large house, or probably a mansion. I don't know who owned it, but by the rooms we were in it looked expensive. We were with a group of people who were traveling by bus, this just happened to be a stop we made. We had to get ready to travel on the bus again, so we couldn't stay together. I tried to keep an eye out for her at as much as possible so I wouldn't loose sight of her. I think I kind of knew in the back of my mind that she could just dissapear out of my dream for no apparent reason, and I didn't want that to happen.

Even though she went into the next room with some of her friends for a bit, she did come back. I was so glad to see her again, and I could tell by her expression that she was pleased to see me too. It is a little hazy of all the dream events that were going on. I think there was a table of food and I was trying to eat something before we left. There wasn't much left, but I noticed some cheesy bread which looked like it had fallen off the table and somehow gotten under it. I picked it up and ate about half of it, it was just as good as it looked, even though I suspected it might be a little dirty from laying on the floor. I didn't care, I knew it wouldn't hurt me. I think I was eating while she was off with her friends. When she was back with me, we were able to pack more stuff up and be on our way.

The dream scene changed as I was now on the bus in one of the front seats on the left side of the bus. I was saving the spot to my right for my girlfriend. About five or more people got on and went past me down the isle before I seen her coming. I smiled at her approach and she beamed back at me. I picked up the item I had laying there to save her spot and she sat down next to me. I put my right arm around her and drew her close. We got to talking again, though I don't remember exactly what we both said. Then I remember showing her a map I think, probably where we were going next. She must have thought I was hungry still, because she made me a hamburger for me to eat while we were sitting there on the bus. She must have had all the items in her pack with her. I appreciated it very much. It seemed to me I was with her for a long time on the bus ride.

The dream scene changed again, now I think I'm all by myself in what looks like farm country. I am on higher ground around some farm equipment. I have a good view of the surrounding area for miles around, pehaps as far as five mile distant. As I look around I know I'm waiting for some people to show up, and I'm hoping my girlfriend is with them. I'm standing by this red grain bin when a long van pulls up on the other side and stops. Some kids get out first, I know they don't see me. When they come around the corner I manage to give 2 of them a scare. Before the other people get out of the van I wake up.

Now that I'm awake it really feels like I had been in love. I realized I had fallen in love with some random dream character and now the relationship is over. I know it isn't rational but the heartache still feels real, knowing that the relationship I had with her can never be reality.

This one was pretty awesome... I remember it starting at my house, in my bedroom. I had just woken up from bed in the dream. I went down to a train station or something to look for clues, and I didn’t have a gun either, which apparently, I guess I was supposed to. I remember meeting a girl down there and she gave me this message from my girlfriend saying “help”, and that’s how I knew I had to go save her. So me and another one of my friends, who also happened to be a girl (haha), went to this random big building on a street corner. Inside there was a big white room but nobody was in it. There was a doorway at the other end of the room though and after that, there was a huge room filled with people who looked like soldiers, plus a few guys dressed in suits. This is probably the highest number of dream characters I have ever seen at one time. I obviously wasn’t supposed to be caught by them, but they didn’t care so far. I remember going into the doorway and shouting at them like I was staff there at the building. Stuff like “Hey, how you guys doin’?” or “You got everything ya need?” things like that. They all approved of me and didn’t suspect anything. After that, I went into a room next to this one, and oddly enough, there was bowls of Cheetos everywhere on tables, although they were darker than Cheetos should be, but not that much darker. I remember picking up a Sub Machine Gun of some sort, and then sneaking it out of the building and giving it to my friend, who had stayed outside. She said “Oh, sweet, you got it?” or something like that. So part of the mission was to get a gun, and then to rescue my girlfriend. This was so cool too, I want there to be a second part...

Lucidity
Dreams
Real Life
Side Notes
Dream Fragments


Last nights dream was weird in the fact that to me everything seemed to be happening all at once and fast, I can't really put across in words how it felt, but it was like watching a film on double speed with sound at normal speed, but it still making sense, I don't know if you can imagine it, but that's what it was like.

First off, someone was driving me around town and we saw this awesome motor in front of us, it was lowered to the knackers, full body kit, black paint job with full front and back headlight conversions etc...

It was similar to this, just a little more square, it was a beast

As we drove past it, I turned and looked to see Stuart Montanden driving, now that's a name and a face I haven't heard/seen for years, like 20 years or more.

I was dropped off at home where my partner was waiting for me - not Joy - , for some reason she and our next door neighbour were fighting for my affections, I didn't recognise either of them, but I knew them both.

Spoiler for The Circle.:

In Scunthorpe, there's a roundabout that is fairly unique to the UK in that you can drive around it in any direction you wish, it's locally known as The Circle, it's quite large too...

Scene change - I was stood with Barney outside of Henderson Avenue school, just off the circle - see spoiler - and they had built a rail road straight across it, we were aware there was a train approaching and we waited for it to pass, as it came into view I noticed it was tilted onto only one track, but it was natural in the dream, however as we watched, the tilt became more severe and eventually it fell and crashed. It was a massive event, loud and a little scary. I immediately said to Barney that we should go and check for survivors and then ran across the road, I vaulted the divider in the road and then vaulting the fence. As I got to the train I saw it was a mess, I noticed the train operator was already helping the passengers out. I said I'd go in and start getting the others out, I entered the train and as I did I noticed that it was much too large inside than it should've been, just like the Tardis is. The first room I entered was empty and as I walked through, I saw a tool box like a drill box that has the lot, you know the type, all the bits included, I went over to I checked it and I knew that if it was full, I was going to steal it. I opened it up and there was like 2 drill bits inside of it. I carried on into the train and started to rescue the people.

Scene change - same dream - I was stood outside of the train and I saw that my Dad had turned up and was starting to cut through the couplings with a gas axe, I got upset with him as I'd been set to do it when he just turned up and took over. I wiped a window to look inside, there was only one person left and so I left as the operator went in to help them.

I was back on Henderson Avenue when someone called out 'Nicho', I turned and saw an immigrant on a phone, he said "It's him, he answered to his name." He passed me the phone and pointed to a window down the road, I took the phone and looked where he was pointing, I saw curtains twitching, I put the phone to my ear and heard "Did you think we'd never find you again Nicho.?" I asked who it was and he just laughed, so I hung up. I turned to give the phone back, but he was gone so I kept it. (He called me again later in the dream and the exact same thing happened).

My Mum turned up, she asked if I'd decided to move home or not, I said I didn't know. She mentioned she'd cooked some cake, there were clean clothes for me and that she had gotten me some weed.

Scene change - I'm in the room at my parents, I find the clothes, they're all old and too small. I look for the weed, but I trouble finding it, at last I find it and there was shit loads (which as you may know is odd as I don't smoke).

I return home and the two girls are still arguing over me, I suggest that I live with both girls, spending a week at one house and a week at the other. To my surprise and obvious delight, they both readily agree, however they then start to argue about where I start first. The guy from earlier called, I had the feeling that it was something to do with my tome in prison and I start to get worried, I wake up proper at around 8.30am.

Dream 1 - I was at a meeting or party with my girlfriend and one of my friends came up to say hi. He started getting a little bit too close for comfort and flirty with my girlfriend. Suddenly without warning I punched him in the face. Before I knew it me and my gf were being ushered out and away from the scene and later when questioned someone else took the blame.

Dream 2 - I walked into my living room and there was a huge pile of hot ashes on an ironing board. Someone was playing with them O.o

Dream 3 - I was on a running machine

4/3/13

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[Alright. I'll try to keep this to the point. Forgive my confusing scattered words. It's taken me my whole life to master this level of communication... and I'm still very far from being the Master.

I'm assuming this topic is alright for DreamViews because it ties heavily into my dreams and general life.
And I'm assuming people here will talk to me as if I'm not "psycho". And be quite loving and understanding.
BLESS the ones who aren't offended at my words.

If anyone has read Charles Fort's works, they'll understand what I mean when I say:

In every truth lies the hint of what can be called fantasy, and
in everyone's yarn there lurks something of what can be called the truth.

Please keep this in mind. This is an experience that is a little "off".
It's an experience- incompleted by the knowledge of what it was I experienced.
I'm missing the right way to relate this to you.
I know what I felt, and I know what I thought I understood about it.
That is all. And nothing more. Like many humans, I am filled with pride and vanity.
But I acknowledge that I TRULY know nothing.
I am not claiming to know anything on these subjects.]

All times are approximate.

Please keep an open mind.

This is my experience with Lucy.

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__________________________________________________ ____________________________
[Background]

My name is Austin.

4 days ago, I experienced Lucy, aka "Acid" aka "LSD" with my "perfect-for-me" girlfriend.

Her name is Alex.

I love this tragic girl bottomlessly, so much it hurts. But this trip was different than with shrooms.
This time, I caught a glimpse of one of those most peculiar facets of reality.
I caught a glimpse beyond the veil. I felt something else's presence among the two of us.
I think it was what the Alchemists and the Shamans and the Wizards and Philosophers
and Dreamers and Scientists and more... would understand as "Lucifer".

Not many people will understand what I'm about to say.
That is because what I'm going to say CANNOT be put into these helpless words. Not in these hopeless worlds.
Hopefully, someone on these forums who has experimented with altered consciousness-
Will understand these metaphors and will relate. I hope someone knows what I'm talking about.
I will do my BEST to explain them to the others who don't get it yet.
This is why people who are actually on to something- are soon discredited as incoherent or such.
What we seek cannot be put into words. The words will escape you like sand through fingers.
Reminiscent of deja vu. If someone demands you explain these secrets, it won't happen. It can't.
Experience is the only way. First-hand.

Now.

I believe Lucifer can appear as and through different things to different people.
But to me it was or was through the gentle and mysterious lover.
The fiery serpentine chasing me up the spiral staircase.
Lucy was the image in between the mirror. Behind the lights.
She was there- but not in a physical sense. The lights would glow brightly when she was close.

My experience with this "entity" was gentle. Loving. Harshly beautiful. With a tinge of dark.
A hint of mystery. He/she told me things through my girlfriend. Beautiful things.
The problem is- my girlfriend claims that I was lost in a trip the entire time.
Conversations I thought I had between us, were just conversations with myself...
Through my girlfriend. But I'll have to ask for more faith from YOU
that I know that I was talking with "someone" whether it was my girlfriend
or an "entity" of less-than-physical existence. It may very well all have been in my head.
But I'm implying that perhaps that's how this thing works.
It IS all in your head. But at the same time it's not JUST in your head.

Oh man, it makes you double take on schizophrenia and general insanity in the world.
What if one of these people screaming on the street are screaming the truth?

Lately, I've been having these reoccurring thoughts in my head that I'm somehow Lucifer.
I just notice all these similarities to me and the angel they call "Lucifer".
My cardinal sin is Pride. I'm a dreamer, a musician, a lover, a woman and a man.
I don't belong here and I feel out of place. I equate myself to a Lion.
I seek knowledge. It reminds me of the story of the Apple of Eden.

I have a STRONG intuition that I'll meet Lucifer on Lucy.
__________________________________________________ ______________
[Austin]

I was one of those "weird kids" you find in school... That never did and never will fit in.
The quiet, smart, awkward kid. The outlandish kind. But I've held on to my innocence.
Longer than most could- I still have real good in my heart. I still have that light inside.
I feel like I have a perfect blend of female and male inside. I feel almost superhuman inside.
But broken at the same time. Like something is missing. My heart is full, but my roots are dry.
But I have a love for horror. An amorous pulling to the mysterious. Everyone has these things.

But I'm uncontrollably thirsty for knowledge. Wisdom. The way the Universe works, in all her wonder.
I've procrastinated the ignition of my life. I've waited to begin my life-
Just to bury myself in books. Drowned myself in watery facts and ideas.
Pondered for hours on "reality" breaking ideas. Ideas that would make sheep panic.
Ideas that only excite ME. "Maybe the world isn't as boring as I thought," I thought.

My life works in symbols. Archetypes.
The boundless ocean. The mother. The Lion. The female. Green. Autumn.
The King. Duality. Trinity. Clocks, and Stuffed Bears. Dreams. It doesn't matter.
But it does.

I know about the connection between you and I. Through reading, experience with dreams,
books of esotericism, books of all sorts!, and simple observation. It doesn't take a genius to see
That there is someone pulling strings in reality. Watch those coincidences.
Try to find connections. It used to be impossible- Then it became improbable.
Now it's highly probable. I know most of you will take me as insane.
There will be one who takes these words just right.

Lately I've been noticing the insane improbable-almost-to-the-point-of-impossible amount of coincidences.
The Universe was talking to me all the time. I just needed to tune in.
__________________________________________________ _____________________________
[Alex]

She's the most interesting human I've met so far.

She has reason behind everything she does!

If she were an element, she'd be fire. She's a white Tiger she says.
Her taste is deliciously refined. She knows what she likes.
During Shrooms, I noticed something very peculiar.
While everyone else in the room tripped blindly.
She unscrewed light bulbs, turned things upside down.
I saw it. It resonated with me.
It was her act of defiance I think that caught my eye.
Her rebellion against the collection of rules we call society.
Mischievous girl. I understand she'll break my heart one day.
...
She grew up so fast. She's had a miserable life so far.
It beat the shit out of her. Her Mother is a monster. (Broke my damn side-view mirror that bitch.)
She never had a father. (He left before Alex was born.)

I've noticed that she does NOT attract happy karmic events.
If there ever was an unlucky human, it was her.
Her life hands her more shit than most humans would be able to handle.
She is hardened to this cruel world. The pessimist out of us.
But she knows things. She knows how it really is.
I'm wary of her. But just as wary as someone can be
of someone you love more than anything.

Our relationship is confusing.
At times we're like best friends.
Sometimes we're enemies.
Sometimes we're just animals using each other.
But when it's all said and done...
All I want to do is hold her hand and keep her safe through this lifetime.
That is what I'm here to do.
If there's anything that's real in this goddamned life, it's that I TRULY love that girl.
__________________________________________________ ____________________________________
[0:00]
We walked into my bedroom and placed two blotters each (piece of paper with LSD dropped on) under our tongues.
We sat around for a moment and began to feel excited and restless. Hence our decision to go to the local convenience store to grab a drink for the trip.
We smoked a bowl and headed down the hallway to go outside.
"Do you want to drive?" I dangle my Miku anime-keychain.
"Mmm... Yes!" I barely offer it, but she barely ever accepts. I become aware of the symbolism in that.

(throughout that day, I had seen the theme of "Lucifer"
sowing itself in and out of the tapestry of reality. Through coincidence. Shit happens, you know, but you'll start to notice that a great deal of that "shit"'s probability doesn't match up with the general idea of probability that society has built. Too many coincidences to be without an explanation. Too much smoke to be without a fire. I'd see pictures on Tumblr of serpents and horns- I'd see references to the Bible and things like that- but there was just so much of it today, more so than usual.)


Pulling up, I asked my girlfriend, "Do you know the story of The Garden of Eden?" ...
"Yeah, I know about that story." She humors me.
"Well... sh-should I trust him? I know I'll have to meet him eventually..."
"I don't know..." She knows.
"Huh." I drop it.

I know she doesn't understand my curiosity. I accept it's just one of our differences.

We grab our drinks- 2 thirst busters, and a pink powerade for me and a blood red powerade for her.

When we get back to the house, giddy and excited, we metaphorically "stumble" through the door.
I mean by that- that we were a little "off" by now. It had been 30min. We were walking perfectly fine.
Talking a little strangely... but perfectly functional. Just a little "different" and "strange".

__________________________________________________ ___________________________________
[0:35]
As we walked back in the room and shut the door, she unloaded a pocketful of things and change.
I pointed it out to her that she was becoming a little more like me.
"It's because I love you." It made sense. I picked up a lot of her traits at times too.

We sat on my bed and loved on each other a little. Tickles, talking, touching, pictures, videos.
It was about an hour through, that we started to feel a little more than just "stoned."
The first stage was the breaking of the shell. The realization that there's more to "you" than just "you."
I watched the clock and became the clock. My awareness controlled how I existed.
Visuals were normal. If a little more relaxed. "Diffused" is a good word. "Unfocused".

I stayed consciously aware of what I was feeling constantly. It was creeping up pretty slowly- but it wasn't anything like I had felt before.
I could "feel" it coming on, as I could with other things. It felt like... a drop-off. A cliff.
It felt like I was hanging off the side of a great cliff, dangling over the abyss from a rope.
Alex told me several times throughout the trip that that's how I "felt", as if she could feel what I felt too.

We immediately went to work with our music playlists that we had planned out. I'm usually the one who spends time thinking about the future (making playlists for acid trips is a good example of this), but Alex surprised me this time by being prepared. Notice this coincidence.

She listened to her music first. Of Monsters and Men. The Head and the Heart. Modest Mouse. Bright Eyes.
Amazing music. But it left me wanting something more familiar.

On to my music. I felt around with my ears the following: Gorillaz, The Beatles, Vampire Weekend, Arcade Fire, Radiohead, Panic! At The Disco...

Oh, such beautiful things tucked away neatly in these songs. A word to the wise:
Alot of these bands know what they're talking about. They know what I'M talking about.
It's all in the music that we listen to- secrets. But remember that words can't describe what I've seen.
But music is a better language for something like this.

Take note that "Lucifer" is constantly associated with things such as "light, music, beauty, etc".

Well back to the trip. By this point, another hour has passed. I had been on the brink of tears countless times now from what I'd seen
and momentarily forgotten.
(Amnesia sucks. I have reason to believe my human is plagued with holey memory. I hope to one day find out why. Probably heavy fluoride in the pineal gland.)

__________________________________________________ __________________________________
[1:15]
Now, me and Alex just wanted to talk again.

She told me about what laughter was for.
She told me that:
"Love is strange- If you get too filled up with that wonderfulness [love], it'll make you sad. You need to let it out every once in awhile.
It's meant to be shared."

My god! Right in front of our eyes. Laughter was the human mechanism for sharing love with the world. The letting out of steam.
It was biological as much as it was just... oddly metaphysically organic. I mean by that... ... no. I'll have to leave that one for you. It's a mechanism of my higher-self as much as it is my human.

"If you start to feel sad... it's because you need to let it out. Share it." If there's one thing I held on to throughout my trip, it was this.

Countless times I felt that well of sadness rising up. I pushed it down by laughing at how wonderful everything was. I just looked around.
I laughed at how crazy I was for thinking I was talking to the devil. I laughed at how impossibly-obviously it presented itself to me.
I laughed at how all of my favorite bands had all of the answers to my questions- but in code.
I laughed at how awkward my soul piloted my human. I would lean into kiss my lover, and land somewhere else and just laugh.
I laughed at how perfect she was. How she always found the perfect thing to say to me. It was like a storybook. Like a dream.
Like I had always wished and wished for. She completed me, like a puzzle piece. How curious.



My soul wasn't very good at integrating me into society, in general, I observed.
I just have never understood the importance of fitting in. Never in my life.
If I had a finger to point... it would be at my soul.
From what I understand...
He should be the one who deals with matters spanning over the 4th dimension... over and outside of time.

But...
I am him. I just sometimes forget.

__________________________________________________ __________________________
[1:45]
Alex.

She was different now. She was still her. But now with a mischievous grin. Cheshire was smiling through my love's face.
She walked like a Goddess, like a perfect little hipster indie kid. (I think that's what I would incarnate as if I were Lucy.) [I'll call her Lucy.]
She pointed to my antique clock and told me the face was the surface of a pond. She was pointing at my symbols. She knew what it meant to me. She knew I had always equated myself with the element water. She knew my personality was watery in itself.
"It's like a dirty pond with scattered numbers."
She knew about my shaky relationship with time.
The pond represented me.

She got up and stretched. "Man, all this damn water." ...again, referring to ME.
As if she had finally seen the real me.
She said it as if just arriving there to that moment in time, before flashing me a grin.
Again, I got the impression of being in the presence of a Goddess- in the flesh. She knew I knew.

She analyzed my life so far and hit every nail on the head. With such grace and the perfect hint of mystery to keep me there. She talked about my innocence and my attachment to my inner child.
I have a stuffed animal, a tattered old bear- she told me that my child was beaten up.
My innocence was hurt.

I think I feel the need to use the word "her" because I was still clinging on to egos. I was afraid to be one with this. All the warnings.
All the damn warnings from humanity. Avoid the one they call the devil. I struggled within myself against it.

"It's like a bunch dolls in a dollhouse." She referred to the bodies we inhabited.

At this point- my mind was so far in the "strange". My nerves and senses were totally "not-normal".
I didn't think of it as, "Sight" or "Hearing" or "Feeling"... it was more of a five-pronged color wheel of general sensation manifesting itself as a big picture. I mean... My senses began to blur into one sense.

And the trails. Oh my... There was a mesmerizing soft blur behind any sort of movement.

I also began to notice catching weird alien thoughts in my own head. I felt like I was tuning in on Alex's thoughts.
I STILL can't figure out who it really was that first wanted that cigarette. Also...
I would look at Alex with a question and she would verbally respond.
Me and Alex began to slowly realize something. Not that we were melding consciousness. But that we already were one consciousness.
I was getting my first understanding of what "Duality" and "Unity" truly meant.

I spoke incoherently, akin to Jack Sparrow. I was trying to grasp an idea.
It was being relayed to me from outside of my head, that's for sure.

But here's a metaphor to help you understand what I mean.
Sometimes, if you stare directly at something...
It vanishes.
But if you learn to look with the corner of your eye.
You might get a better glimpse.

If I thought too hard at an idea, it would run away.
Same with Lucy/Lucifer. If we chased after her, she would vanish.
She would stop amusing us. She had a tendency to sneak in and out of our trip.

And then something happened... she tried to get me to kiss her. She had that devilish look in her eye.
I... recoiled. I subconsciously knew that what I was dealing with was indeed very heavy. It meant something.
And I needed to be perfectly conscious so I could make a decision. These cautious thoughts were definitely mine.

I know what LSD can do to you. You have to keep your mind clear and empty or else you'll convince yourself of something.
I decided that this vision or feeling of dancing with the devil was TOO persistent to be a simple delusion.
I might be an odd human, but I know that these was DEFINITELY something more to this than delusion.
Truly, there's some truth in my yarn. But I kept a clear head so that I would feel the feelings as they came.

I was forced to make a decision of a life time. If I went through with this, I had a feeling my life would never be the same. But my life was always so boring... I kind of ached for it, you know?

Vampire Weekend summed it up perfectly:

"It’s not right but it’s now or never
And if I wait could I ever forgive myself? "

I finally kissed her back, pushing through my hesitation. It WAS just my girlfriend.
I kiss her all the time. But this time it was mixed-up, fearful, and hesitant.
We lost ourselves in our slow kisses for awhile. And suddenly...
for JUST a moment, I woke up from the Matrix that we live in.
I realized in that moment that I was NOT my body... or even my mind, for that matter.
Whatever I really was, it was "green" and "bright" and "vibrant" and "full of love".
She was more "grey" and "scarred" and "hopeless" but "wise" and "full of texture"
The best way I can describe what it felt like... I was an amorphous living "thing".
A giant changing organism of "light". I felt MYSELF (I'll capitalize when I refer to our higher self.)
brushing up against my lover... in an alien landscape, in alien bodies. It was more beautiful than anything you've ever experienced.
It was scarring to someone who wants to remain ignorant. I now knew.

She knew I had finally seen the true HER. SHE was disfigured and bruised from the horrors and disappointments of her lives.
I held her body close and radiated an infinite love that she had never felt before. She knew I knew. She knew I loved her regardless.
I didn't get to see any specifics, but I know that we've known each other intimately besides this life. Same with all the people in my life.

We cuddled for a little and loved each other. I accepted every little part of her, and she accepted every little part of me.

__________________________________________________ ____________________________________
[2:00]
We laid in my bed and stared around my room. It was as if I was my soul, checking up on my human. My room was a wreck.
Disorganized and messy. I scolded myself. My eyes caught all these symbols that I would have never caught.
I looked at my long hair and saw my female trying to claw her way out. She was desperate to be seen and pet.
It was tragic. I felt a little drunk- by that I mean that drunken feeling of trying to walk. A great happy cheerfulness filled me
despite my slight lack of coordination.

I had to go to the bathroom though... I was afraid to be away from Alex, so I hesitated...
"I REAAAALLY need to goooo."
"Okay, I'm going now."
"Alright baby, here I go."
"I NEED TO PEEEE."
(I said all of those... probably 20 seconds apart. Stalling.)

I worked up the courage to break away. I drifted like a ghost down the hall.
Once in the bathroom, I got on my knees and peed close to the toilet (a strange habit I'd picked up years ago).
I got up, and checked myself out in the mirror. My pupils were huge. I could see my soul showing through my eyes.
It was beautiful. I always thought that was beautiful. Enlarged pupils are subconsciously attractive to me.
Then I returned to Alex. We were both thinking about the same thing now. Ourselves.

We both stared at our vessels with self-love. She began to talk again,
"You know... I never really got why people are so against this." I knew she was referring to our self-love.
"If you have what you have, what's the point in Not loving it?" -She continued while eyeing herself with love and a hint of lust.
I did the same.

Sometime throughout the trip, I stripped naked and watched my body closely.
It was so... gorgeous. My male and female energies were so balanced.
I marveled at my body's hips and legs, and my shoulders and eyes.


(I'd always had a deeply ingrained disgust with egoists.
Egotistical people had always disgusted me. They were never going to grow, because they were so weighed down by their own empty weight. My religious Dad pointed out that I had pride in my eyes, countless times through my childhood. He made sure I knew it was wrong.)

(But... I couldn't find an argument to this one. I had always thought myself and Alex to be extremely attractive.
In a different kind of way than what society could see. I would walk by a group of girls, flicking on a switch inside.
I would think confident feelings, I would KNOW that I was sexy... and the girls would always look my direction and blush.
I had that power. Everyone does. And if it's already there... It's just a matter of turning it on.)

__________________________________________________ __________________________________
[2:30]
Alex had to go pee next. It had been 2 1/2 hours now. She left to go to the bathroom...
But I found myself following close behind, as if I were going to the bathroom as well.
As if we were going to share that experience. I paused and realized that I couldn't follow her in there.
She chuckled at me and left.

I realized I still needed to pee! I normally was very "good" at holding my bladder.
But this time felt different. Seconds had passed since Alex left the room.
"I don't think I can wait." I said to myself, alone in my room.
I panicked when I thought that perhaps Lucy had something to do with my bladder un-control.

Then I realized it. I wasn't feeling MY need to pee. I was feeling Alex's need to pee.
I had already pissed. Now it was her turn.
Only catch.
I was going to experience her turn.

When it finally dawned on me what was going on...
I began to squirm and struggle to hold in my bladder-
While I was experienced pee-ing.
I could feel it so clearly. It felt good~
But I was unable to enjoy the relieving feeling due to my panic.
It reminds me slightly of orgasm, but just a hint.
I'm proud to say, that I LSD didn't make me piss

I continued to squirm, until she was done.
Then I walked out of my room and met her at the door to explain.
She grinned at me.

__________________________________________________ _________________________________
[3:30]
At about 3 1/2 hours.
We fell into the bed again, and fell entranced by my ceiling light.
It broke my popcorn ceiling into a crystal kaleidoscope.
It began to glow intensely. We lied there in that room staring at that light forever.
It was so fucking beautiful. I could tell that there was something "more" to the light.
There was something "behind" the light. "Inside" it. "Outside" of it...
Wait no... There's no word for it. "Within" would be the best fit.

Lucy was close-by. The light vibrated. The ceiling crawled.
The room came to life. We were coming to a peak of the trip.
Alex snapped me out of it.
"Don't let it take you away."
What a strange thing to say, I thought.
I'm sure she knew what I felt.
But I looked away and broke the spell.

Our gazes returned shortly after.
She gasped- "I can see your heartbeat in the ceiling."
Both of our jaws dropped. It was true. The light was pulsating to my heart.
We were pushed back against the wall and the bed... HARD.
But it was because of how incredibly beautiful and powerful it was.
The entity.
... ...
She joked for the third time, "If this is the peak, I'd still be disappointed."
I laughed at that challenge to Lucy.

We sat up from our bed, feeling like we had lived an eternity in moments.

The green curtains had crawling vines. If you relaxed your eyes on them, they would move like crazy.
I could also see aura around Alex. Her's was red.
She told me mine was a bright green.

By now, we had abandoned words for the most part. We both realized how much easier it was
to communicate in "soul-speak", in thought, and in feeling.

__________________________________________________ __________________________
[4:30]
We walked outside. Oh. My. God.

"There's a world out here..." We both gasped. We were coming down fast.

But that one moment when I first experienced nature... our SUN, the neighborhood.
I will never forget it. It made me gasp in my female's voice. It was THAT powerful.
I was powerfully aware of our position in the solar system. That big glowing thing in the sky...
It's in a very basic sense: "Alive".

Fire is... "Alive." Plants and animals... they're "alive and conscious".

My only metaphor for this... would be...
There's these Mexican candies... I forget their name...
But it's a plastic container, with this spicy/sour chile mango
Squishy candy inside.
You squeeze it out through the top and it comes out in strands.
Like squishy red grass.
The inside of the container is primal life. Life in it's most basic form. Before it's manifested in this world.
When it's squeezed out, it seperates into egos and distinctions. Each little blade is a different manifestation of the same thing.

(Matter is alive too, just vibrating at a different level. But I digress- back to the trip.)

My lover and I sat beautifully in our bodies. I followed her to a spot in the shade, out of the morning sun where we found our perch. Watching the school children and other humans waking up, and going to school and work.
We sat there and watched, understanding that they may never know the things we know.
They may go their whole lives and never see the truth.
I began to grow nervous that people were walking about as, well, we were tripping balls in my front driveway.

I shook it off, "Ah fuck it. A school bus of children could pass by for all I care."
A school bus passed 6 seconds later. Me and Alex eyed each other and knew that Lucy was still with us.

We had a conversation between a human God and Goddess in my front yard about the tops of trees.
She pointed to the top of the pine tree before us.
"You know, the tops of trees are my favorite parts of trees." She spoke softly.
I thought to myself of whether there was symbolism in what she said.
She paused before saying, "It matters."

She reminded me of plants. I had always wanted to communicate with one. I cupped in my hands a yellow flowered weed next to me, and I closed my eyes. I felt something. But not very strongly. I felt impatient.

"You want to go inside, don't you?" I had a feeling.
"Yeah..."
"Well... can we wait out here for just a second?"
"Yeah, as long as you want."
But I couldn't fully enjoy it, now that I knew she wanted to go inside.
I asked one more question... It was aimed at Lucy AND Alex.
"You aren't going leave me... are you?" The insecure little girl I had once been was asking.
I began to tear up and almost cry at the thought of being disconnected from this in the future.
I don't remember her answer. But it was good. I remembered to laugh, so I wouldn't be sad.
So we got up and walked inside.

__________________________________________________ _____________________________________
[6:00]
It was approximately 6 hours into our trip, more or less.
Lucy was still here, but in a less HERE way.

(INTERJECTION: The overwhelming clarity of LSD is so strange to experience, in stark contrast to the drug propaganda out there. Do not listen to your government on matters like this. You have to trust your heart on this to know if you're ready for something like this. I was ready. I've been waiting for this day my entire life.)

Now I wasn't talking directly to Lucy. I was talking to just my Alex.
She noted that I had been talking "past her" for the past few hours.
That I had, in reality, been lost in a sort of trip. But I know what I experienced.
I have faith in it. And I will not let the world shake it out of me like they do to the rest of us.

Back to the experience. I confronted another demon of mine.
My occasional lack of passion. My lack of red and orange and yellow.
My lack of masculine energies.

Alex was calling me to her. She stretched her beautiful body in my bed, like a cat.
I knew her body wanted mine. I knew her animal ached for mine.
But I am not the normal male. Not the normal man.
I didn't feel like a wolf ready to take control.
I was unsure and awkward. I felt wrong every time I tried to force a passionate kiss.
I couldn't fake passion. So I sat there awkward.

I don't know how many Panic! At The Disco songs I heard before it happened.
(Panic! was playing on shuffle the first time we made love.)

She took control. She pushed me against the bed. She has what I don't have.
I tried to fight back... but she was too strong for me.
I quivered and moaned like the female I felt.
She touched my body and made me feel powerless.
I began to tear up in fear and quiet submission.
Oh, it was then I felt real passion.
This is one reason why we're like puzzle pieces. We match.


Sometimes I curse myself for being born in a male body, when I'm so obviously not.
But I understand that things happen for reasons. Perhaps I chose this existence to make amends
with my masculinity.


I'll skip out some pretty details.
But there was passionate kisses.
"I can see why humans do that." She smirked along with me.
It was a physical means to elicit a reaction in our souls. It was a way to communicate.
We were trading delicate feelings through lips.
Two aliens; two children of the stars-
experiencing what it was like to love as humans.
Oh the impossibly mad love.

Once I felt that passion in my bones...
The man in me awoke. The wolf.
I grabbed her and forced her down like I wished she would to me all those times.

!@#$%^&

I came earlier than I wanted to and I sat in shame for a minute.
Alex knew what my look meant, and she told me that she had felt amazing regardless.
"So why worry?"

__________________________________________________ _________________
[7:00]


Alex eventually fell asleep.
We cuddled together and held each other close until then.

Then I was alone.
I moved to my computer.
I was compelled to listen to "Colorblind" by Counting Crows.
It was an anthem of my human and soul, specific to me.
It touched my hurt that I had accumulated as this specific human.
My awkward un-belonging. My prison of skin. My lack of color.
(Books, the only thing I had found solace in before... can only show you black and white.)

I cried my eyes out. I couldn't fight the sadness back.
It all poured out. I was terrified of how deep the feeling was.
I went to Alex and was about to shake her, when
"I'm fine." was sung.

I knew this was a sign from the Universe to let her sleep.
I was fine.

(The Universe or Lucy or whatever it was... sometimes sends me winks.
"Coffee black and eggwhite." is a line in that song."
My best friend's Dad just poured me black coffee and handed me an egg sandwich while I've been up all night typing this.)

It's truly a humbling thing to know that your entire life is a part to a play.
It's just a dance. It's put together very delicately, with lots of love and care.
But sometimes if you REALLY look closely, it's like a movie.
We all have a part to play. Dolls in a dollhouse.

__________________________________________________ _______________________________
[End?]

So that's my story so far. At the same time, it's all of our stories. We've all met Lucifer in one way or another. It lives inside of all us, whether we like it or not. It's all a matter of becoming aware of it.

I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything. Just sending a message out in a bottle.
For most of you, you most likely will categorize me as delusional. That is fine.
This is just an oddly fascinating and fantastic story to you. But I have faith in the dreamers.
I know who I'm talking to. They know who they are. The right people will answer me.

It's all just simple math. What I'm talking about sounds magical... but it is very real.
Perhaps, one day it will be considered common knowledge. Accepted science.
But until then- we need explorers who are willing to chart this new frontier.

__________________________________________________ _______________
[Some of the other things Lucy told me through Alex...]

"You don't belong here. You feel it too, don't you?" I had always felt that.

"You're a very very VERRRY special, human, Austin. I don't think you realize how special you are." I knew this was truth, but it felt like a dirty truth. It felt wrong to say and obsess with. I know I'm meant for something big. But it's not all about me.

"You're INCREDIBLY beautiful." She stared at me sometimes... just as I had stared at the beautiful light.

"You've been waiting here, an anomaly in this world. Waiting for something alien to return you to your home."

[I also "realized" a few things by myself.]

I saw that most the people I called friends, were actually entities I knew outside of this human life.
A few of them I was "tied up to" or "chained to" with karmic debt.
My best friend is VERY pushy, and if I don't listen to what he says, I feel a backlash of negative energy.
I'm starting to realize that I actually am VERY far in debt to ALOT of people.

I also found that I was meant to go to a certain concert in California called Coachella in the middle of April.

I realized on my own that I'm destined to be a famous musician. That sounds horribly egotistical.
But you'll understand if you're ever in shoes like mine.


And lastly... I started the apocalypse. Maybe it was me individually, or me in the general sense of humans.
But when I came out of my trip, instantly I saw new signs of chaos.

This whole Korea business became frontline news. I've seen and heard ambulances every day here since.
People have been talking about the upcoming war in America. People have started making plans.
I think I might move to Seattle eventually. I have a feeling it might be safe for me.
Since me and Alex are both extremely drawn to this city.


__________________________________________________ ______________________________________
Please... if you're curious or have questions, please ask.
If you have something to add to my experience, I would certainly appreciate it!

It's a wonderful world out there, dreamers. Get out there and feel it for yourself!
For all you wisdom-seekers, may you find what you're looking for.

Since I'm in the midst of spring break right now, a school dream wasn't particularly pleasant.
I was at school. Although the first parts of the dream are foggy, after those I remember being in my Japanese classroom. There was a big hole in the wall that led to a tunnel, and apparently students had to race through it to see who would win. I decided to give it a shot. The first couple of laps were a piece of cake, and I was smoking everyone there. On the third and final lap, I heard a kid I dislike and another kid who I know but have never talked to. They were talking about me.
"That Tanner sure is a competitive one."
"Tanner? Yeah, I guess."
"Even if he's an idiot, he's still competitive."
I was very peeved off by that, but I didn't turn around to insult him, and instead kept staring at the tunnel waiting for the race to start. It had surprised me that he had said that, since in real life that kid is nice to just about everyone.
The final lap started, and I was almost going to win the race by the end of it, but it was called off and everyone scrambled out of there. As I was making my way through the crowd, I saw my girlfriend, who for some reason had long, blonde hair (whereas in real life she has short, black hair). I didn't think it strange, however, and hugged her tight when I saw her. We walked and talked for a while, until eventually we had to go to class.
For some reason, as I was walking to my English class, I was suddenly wearing nothing but my underwear, although once again, I didn't find this strange. I walked into my English class only to be greeted by a new teacher who I had never seen before. I forget what his name was in the dream (started with an R), but he was a young man, about 22 or so, with a patch beard and short, dark brown hair. The class was rearranged differently, and all along the sides were computers that the kids were using to goof off on the internet. I grabbed a chair and waited for the bell to ring.
There's also a brief snippit of dream that I remember (can't recall if it was part of the school dream or not) that involved me and my friend riding across long stretches of road on bikes.

Remembered two dreams this morning. The first one involved...DUNDUNDUN MURDERRRRRRRRRRRR.
Suddenly, there was a murder. I didn't freak out about it or anything. My family and I decided to stay at a nearby hotel, just to be a little safer. While at the hotel, I caught wind of a rumor about some ace-detective-turned-pastor who would be going to the crime scene in the nearby graveyard to solve the clues. Out of no where, I was watching the pastor investigating, almost like a cutscene in a video game. He didn't investigate for very long. Probably found what he needed to.
This is when I decided to go to the graveyard myself. I felt a little spooked, but I brought my iPod with me and listened to MCR while walking around the graveyard. Should've used that as a way to go lucid, I was listening to a song by MCR that didn't even exist.
I got to the back part of the graveyard to find a weird looking bug in a black shell. The shell popped open, and a scary looking, browin-ish colored beetle crawled out, screeching. I screamed and fled in terror, and looked behind me, seeing the beetle take to the air with vibrant colored wings. I ran as fast as I could out of the graveyard, and made it out, but not before feeling a stinging pain on my shoulder...
Now for the other dream.
For some reason, I wasn't in my body, but instead in the body of a police officer with a mustache. I was hiding from this extremely nasty guy in a sumo outfit, and when his back was turned, I jumped out and made him sit on a chair so I could interrogate him. Sadly, I forget how that conversation went, but I do recall it being very short.
I stepped out into the nearby hallway, and suddenly, I was back in my body again. I found some friends of mine who aren't actually my friends irl, and we went down this hallway called 'The Troubled Kids Hallway'. It looked like a normal hallway, but anyways. We made it out into this auditorium that resembled my old lunch room from middle school, and kids were lined up getting ready to watch a presentation. I found my girlfriend, and she waved at me, but her expression was one of unease. Her hair was dyed red-orange in color, unlike the black color she has in real life.
For some reason, I wasn't allowed to sit next to her, so I found a seat far away and sunk into it, saddened that I couldn't be with her.
And that was that. I have a little fragment of me using Assassin's Creed-styled parkour climbing to travel around a city, but I think that was a part of the murder dream. I think.

12/14/2012
11:30pm

I am at a party in a large warehouse and people are dancing. It still a pretty big room but small by comparison. There are disco lights and smoke. There are several groups between me and my girlfriend who I see dancing and having a good time. I am extremely tired and because of the setting I started to feel drunk like I haven't been in a long time. Next to me is a really cute girl dancing and she starts to flirt with me. I'm too tired to participate and besides I have a girlfriend. I lean up against the wall. I close my eyes and start to slide down the wall till I am lying on the floor. I didn't want my girlfriend to see me drunk but still was wishing she would come take care of me.

I fall asleep for a bit. When I wake up the lights are out and everyone had gone to sleep where they were. A giant quilt covered the whole room and only the people along the wall could pop their heads out. Most had paired up but nothing sexy had gone on. I wondered why my girlfriend hadn't laid down next to me. Instead, the flirt was next to me and she was playing with my hair and starting to cuddle up. I was way to tired to move and so I let her do her thing. Our legs were touching when I sat up to see where my girlfriend was. I couldn't see here but thought that she was probably one of the lumps under the quilt about 15' away where she had been dancing.

Still exhausted I plop back down to the floor. The flirt plays with my hair some more and then I hear my girlfriends voice saying something along the lines of "WTF...what is going on here.. you letting her..."...I don't have an explanation. I'm to tired to give an explanation. Being as tired as I was would have worked but I was to tired to even think of that. For those few moments my GF was pissed but then she became totally unconcerned.

Apparently she had been loving the huge climbing wall in the next room and was climbing alone while everyone slept. The flirt and I followed her there as she put on fall protection and a hard hat (like I have at work). The climbing wall covered every wall of this part of the warehouse and extended across the ceiling. There was also metal scaffolding and walkways above the middle of the floor.

I felt concerned that my GF had been climbing without someone to watch her. Trying not to sound too bossy I ask her not to climb by herself because it is dangerous. I say something about needing to go home but GF says that we don't exactly have one of these at home and wants to keep climbing. As the dream fades I see more of what is in the warehouse. There is heavy industrial extrusion dies with eye hooks on them. Climbing rope and chains are run though the eye hooks...............Wake up

12.22.2012

You're Lucid Dreaming (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm basically doing a nose plug reality check and telling my mother in the dream that she's dreaming.

I kept doing the nose plug reality check and it's clear that I can breathe through my nose while I plugged it.

She's surprised, and I tell her, "Yeah....."

We were in a completely different dimension where it was just us, it felt like a nice place with absolute assurance of safety.

It's hard to describe, it was like a void, but the environment consisted mostly of yellow, orange, red, and other vibrant and bright colors.

There were some sparks here and there, and the ground we were standing on was invisible, which felt weird, but I didn't pay attention to that for very long.

_________________________

12.22.2012

We're All The Same (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was making constant trips to this Gas Station mini-store, and as I'm trying to get Pringles, Cheetos Puffs, or just a simple soda drink, I meet this man who looks Asian or Hawaiian.

He looks a lot like Sammo Hung, and he seems passive most of the time as a employee operating the cash register. I think my 3rd trip going into the store to get something, as I'm about to leave, he tells me,

"You may have this............(forgot the content on what he said), but we're all the same........we're like mirrors...."

The store itself had a lot of items to buy, and a lot of aisles for a small area. They were easy to pass through, and most of the items were a blur to me until I acknowledged that I wanted something from the aisle I was in.

The Pringles can was kind of deformed and a bigger than normal, and I had insane cravings to just buy the biggest snacks I could afford.

_________________________

12.22.2012

GPA Miscalculation (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This obviously pertains to how I had to set up an appeal letter because of my GPA in college right now. I hope it gets approved >.<

Anyway,

I looked at a transcript that seems to be my own, and I looked down to see my GPA in waking life, or at least the GPA for the given semester of college. I checked the overall GPA, and it seemed fine.

I was busy speculating what I did so wrong here to make me get into having to set up an appeal response for financial aid. Then I realized, soemone miscalculated the GPA by placing the current semester as a separate row below the overall GPA.

This made the system probably assume that was my overall GPA, which wasn't the case, it was my GPA for this semester before 2013. I get irritated by this, and I immediately set plans to go to my Academic advisor.

Apparently a relative of mine was going to help me get to there, and I felt she would help me, but when I went outside, it seemed she was long gone. She was wearing a slightly lime green shirt mixed in with some blue to make it a little darker.

I can still see her, and I was basically following her for a few seconds until I decided to go find a path on my own. I used a teleport/transport medium of some sort that involved using the Thunder God Jutsu from Naruto where I have to touch an item that I can remember easily so I can transport myself there instantly.

So I picked my two items, and this elevator door appears out of nowhere, and when I open it, it's a portal to get to the Academic Advisors office for Biochemistry. It wasn't anywhere close to the office in waking life, but I had a feeling it would be in this dream.

I go through the door, and I'm now in a different dimension or location in the dream. I go up to my Advisor and provided her the information on paper, and she clearly saw the miscalculation.

She stated that she would go over this, and contact me as soon as she can. I feel a lot better, and honestly, if I could make this waking life reality, it would be SO AWESOME right now since I'm kind of afraid of what's going to happen now.....

So while I'm waiting for her to contact me eventually, I decided to summon the elevator door to transport me back to my dream apartment so I can let loose for a while. The amount of stress being lifted off was amazing, I felt like I could breathe again knowing that it was a miscalculation that would boost my GPA big time.

I don't know what I was doing in my apartment, but it was definitely something pertainin to just relaxing and not worrying about the outcome. The dream shifts where I'm apparently being contacted by the advisor, so I quickly set up the Elevator portal, almost forgetting an item I should use in case I wanted to quickly transport myself to the apartment again.

The advisor tells me it definitely was a miscalculation, and I looked at the new transcript to find an even better result than last time. I saw an A somewhere on the bottom, and a B, and a few other good grades as well. There was one "D," but I didn't mind at all since my GPA met satisfactory standards to continue receiving financial aid.

So I started thinking about things I can do to boost my GPA more, and getting motivated to work even harder because of me being able to endure through the small conflict I had when finding the miscalculation of the GPA.

I realized that the advisor had a mini-fridge behind her while she's sitting down, and apaprently, I could take some stuff and help myself out to a drink or some food. But I didn't take anything out, however, I have the mindset that I did take something out before, and I asked my advisor if she and her assistant wanted me to get them something to drink that I could put into the fridge.

They didn't mind, and I remembered I had a full liter of Ginger in my fridge back at my dream apartment.

While I was remembering that, I also get a mental picture of my dream apartment again, and if I had paid more attention to the format of the apartment, I could've been lucid. The thing that was different about the dream apartment, at least one noticeable thing now as I'm typing it out is that the Refridgerator was placed in a different position.

Instead of being on the left side if I were to enter the apartment and head to the kitchen, it was placed on the opposite side from where it was before. I go through the elevator portal again, and I quickly opened the fridge to grab the Ginger Ale.

I also noticed that I had a few other things in the fridge, like the soda I picked up from the previous dream where the guy told me that we're all the same (the Sammo lookalike dream character).

I quickly go through the portal once more, and realized I don't need to worry about fixating on an item to transport myself anymore if I have a portal that appears with my mere mention of expressing my will to its manifestation.

Maybe I should do this for meditation.

I then get random dream shifts of several areas that looked like they were mixed from other areas in waking life. I saw a few random dream characters and a few familiar faces here and there. There was one girl I saw that liked me in High School, but I quickly ignored her.

I can't remember anything else that happened in the dream.

_________________________

12.22.2012

Her and my Father (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I just remember my girlfriend meeting with my father, which was something I was very afraid that was going to happen.

The same encounter that I tried to avoid ended up being casual and nothing of conflict ironically. But I still had my guard up, trying to listen to my girlfriend respond to my father.

Things seemed okay, and my father was helping her out by picking up and carrying the suitcases she had in the trunk of her car, which was weird, because it wasn't the van/jeep at all.

She looks down at the trunk, and she seems a bit phased out, and she has her mouth slightly opened while she's looking down. I felt worried that maybe she didn't know what to see to the both of us, and before I tried to comfort her, I forget what happenes next.

There was a long series of dreams but from what point I remember it from, i'm in a red sports car (not very popular or attractive looking but it can drive fast) with my mum and there is an old lady driving the car. She was blonde and she was at the age where her hair can still be colored and she still isn't extremely old that she can't do much. She was driving the car and she was a speed demon. We were going downhill and were a good distance behind the car infront of us and she accelerates as fast as she can to make the car infront of us get scared and drive faster. Somehow, me and my mum end up driving on a beach in a school bus. She is driving and shes driving on a slanted hill. I tell her the center of gravity isn't right for what angle the bus is at and that we might flip. My mum and I are in the waves and this is a beach from back at my hometown (New Zealand) I was being pulled out rapidly and my mum grabbed onto me to save me from being pulled out into the sea and being drowned. My mum is gone and I am being aimlessly swayed by the waves (recurring dream). Waves are coming from the normal direction of the sea, but they are also coming at me from the land. So the waves were crashing into me from opposite directions. After this happens, I end up being on the beach and I see my ex girlfriend Blair. (I still really miss her in real life, and still have feeling for her. We don't talk anymore and, ive always wanted to start talking to her again). At this point I become aware of what i'm doing but im not necessarily lucid. I go looking for her because she dissappeared from the sprawl of people on the beach. I go more inland and reach into the bottem of my endless bag I usually have in my dreams but failed to find her in there. I find a house that is more like a cave with a door. I knock at the door. The door is really short and I have to crouch to look in. A cute woman greets me and we had a very simple conversation although I couldnt remember it. I am then woken up from my grandma.

-frag
Im in this temple thingy. I remember having sex multiple times with this girl i know from my highschool in real life.

11/14/2012
5:30am
non lucid

Spoiler for Adult Contentish:

My girlfriend and I were just leaving an awesome swimming hole when two young couples were showing up. There was a small water fall, smooth rocks to lay out on and a nice ledge near the falls. I was aware that sometimes people would strip down here and I wanted to see the two sexy young girls naked and swimming about.

Their boyfriends were somewhat homely and non aggressive so I was considering staying a little longer. One of the guys gave me three blue marshmallows on a toothpick. They tasted fine but were a little stale. He gave me another three and I ate them too.

I started to get undressed and had my pants awkwardly around my thighs when I finally realized that my girlfriend my not be approving of this arrangement. The girls were swimming already and looking mighty good. Then they crawled up on the ledge by the falls to sun bath a bit. I was having mixed feelings of arousal and guilt when the one guy proceeded to tell me that the girls had seen me hear before and were cool with me. He then told me that it was OK with the girls if I stripped down and went over to check them out.

At first I felt this was kinda of a joke but realized that they were serious and that I could actually do what they said. Thoughts of making out with them crossed my mind as well as the strong possibility of being given oral sex by the two hotties. But then a little common sense came back to me as I glanced at my girlfriend. I was about to tell the guys thanks but no thanks and leave when I woke up.

THOUGHTS/COMMENTARY
DREAM

I had the first dream a few nights ago, but I did record it in my physical DJ. The second dream I had before I woke up this morning.

I was hanging out with my friend Dalton, and for some reason his side was hurting. Or rather his ribs. There was a girl with him who seemed to act the role of a girlfriend, even though in real life he's single. We were in a classroom setting just hanging out, but no one had the intention to help my friend about his side. Later we met up with another girl from work, and I ended up in her car. Then I woke up.

I only recall being in a living room with my friend, Jamal, and we were playing a "Sonic the Hedgehog" video game. Apparently a NEW game came out for the SEGA Genesis which featured a large array of different hedgehogs to choose from. Later on my step-mother, from my early childhood, walked in the room and started playing games with my friend and myself.

Both dreams were vivid in terms of what people looked like, but not much of the setting was too noticeable.

I've just had a dream, that I cheated on my boyfriend. This concerns me, even though my boyfriend and I have only been dating for a short time (maybe a few months).
This wasn't sexual, and I cannot remember the full dream. It was quite odd, because the guy I cheated on my boyfriend with, I've never talked to. He's in one of my college courses, and I see him everyday, we even live streets apart. We've never talked, or anything.
This guy, picks me up in his car. Though I don't quite remember everything that was said beforehand, he kisses me, and I pull him in for another. He then said "that settles it then," while grabbing my hand. I tell him of my boyfriend at this point, saying that I just couldn't do this.
The guy then goes quiet, but asks "How could you be in love with him, when.." And with that my dream abruptly ends...
What is my subconscious trying to tell me?
I would never cheat in my life. Being cheated on before myself, I could never bring myself to do so. I do find the guy attractive, but even still, his personality seems quite plain and boring, and have never had any thoughts of pursuing the man.