All DJ Entries

This is my first dream journal entry. Though i've been using a DJ for a couple of years , I think I will start fresh on this site.
Last night I had a couple of disturbing nightmares, 3 which I remember the strongest.

The first one is a dreamscenario which happens now and then when i'm lucid and flying. I start flying as always, you probably know the feeling, everythings perfect and it's really liberating. Though I sometimes fear that this ''Rocket'' scenario is going to take over. So it's simply me flying through the air in the quarters of my old apartment, feeling the wind through my hair , when I suddenly stop and gets paralyzed in mid-air. I no longer have control of my body as I start to soar in a extremely high speed, up to the starry skies. Panic takes control over me and I cannot exit the dream until i'm in dead-air space, choking.

The second one is a new. I was not lucid in this one.
I'm standing on a broad ledge with my mother and uncle, when I look down I see floors scattered around my surroundings on multiple levels, at each floor there's a swimmingpool, and the floors go down maybe 200 meters.
I look across the swimmingpools and I see that this ''compound'' is surrounded by extremely tall and dark trees, almost like a fence. So I get somewhat nervous of what might happen next, as my uncle starts walking toward the edge of the ledge we're standing on.
I try to stop him ,but he jumps down yelling ''Canonball'' and I look down as he approaches a swimmingpool maybe 10 levels down. Of course he misses it and you can hear a wham as his body hits the surface.
Behind me my mother starts screaming this horrible, endless roar, and I jump down the ledge to wake up.

The third was really short and the last nightmare I had that night. I was not lucid in this one.
I'm with two of my friends drinking beer and laughing, when we decides to take a walk. And as we walk out from my friends house and into the street a man comes at us. We get freightened because he's holding a giant machete and is threatening us, we can not run away and he slices me in half, literally..... I can feel myself peel of in half , like i'm suddenly two bodies.. It didn't hurt ,it actually was kind of interesting, but scary yes.

So I had gotten lucid somewhere outdoors, and decided to try some flying. I made a jet of fire in my hand, and started to fly straight up, going faster and faster. For awhile, I was looking straight up, when I stopped and looked around me, I saw that I was above the clouds.
I looked back up and thought back a few lucids to when I was flying at light speed. I decided to do that again. But when I did the dream destabilized.
I was dreaming/hallucinating static. I could tell I was between being in the dream and being awake. I realized that I had to DEILD. Somehow, it worked.
The dream had changed when I returned, I was now inside a house. For some reason, I had got the feeling that my family had just moved into this new house because there were a bunch of cardboard boxes laying around.
I somehow got into some kind of battle with a dream character. I know that it was a female, but I have no idea who exactly. She was wearing body armor. I must have forgot that I was lucid for awhile, because the best that I could do to fight her was try to hit her with a hammer.
I realized that I was dreaming, and for some reason, I thought of the video game Skyrim. I decided to try using a dragon shout.
"Fus Ro Dah"
Although there was no blue energy wave, like there is in the game, I sent my opponent flying into a wall.
I wanted to battle another dream character, and I noticed my mother asleep on the couch. I asked her if she wanted to battle me. She said that she was very tired, and would do it later. (Agian, forgetting that I was lucid.)
I decided to pursue something other than senseless violence. My lucidity started to get clearer at this point, and I saw two of my cats play-fighting. I looked at them; knowing that I was lucid, and thought it would be interesting if they were dreaming about fighting one another, and that I was having a shared dream experience with my cat.
I looked up and saw my father on a second floor overlook of the kitchen. He gave me a very dirty look for some reason.
I proceeded to think of other things to utilize the lucid dream for. I thought about trying to meditate in a lucid dream, just to see what would happen. I remembered a long time ago, when I tried to meditate in a dream. I thought about how peaceful I felt, and how when I sat down, golden light shone around me, and I was surrounded by trees. I had a vivid visualization of this past dream.
I think I woke up not long after that. I wrote down a few notes so I wouldn't forget what had happened during this dream.

October 23, 2012
11:00-6:00

It was the future. Space was conquered by humanity. We've developed AI and we control many planets. I controlled a ship somewhere. The laws of relativity did not apply, so we could travel through space faster than the speed of light and not travel through time faster than 1 second per second.

I was travelling from planet to planet doing many missions. I can't remember what happened or most of the planets I traveled to, but I do remember a planet I went to to find a robot that did something. When I found the robot, the dream ended.

dream : comments : lucid

Tuesday, 18th of October 2012

Enooooooormous lot of dreams last night. There was one about being chased by a Terminator-like entity which was shooting at me with a minigun and I decided I needed to get out of town.

The main one was me being in space. Except 'space' was a giant room that slowly gradient-ed into being darker and darker, until the walls and floor disappeared and turned into empty space.
I walked out onto it (there was apparently an invisible floor) and was scared but excited, knowing that at any moment I could lose the ability to breathe and could freeze. I actually reckoned that the air and temperature from the rest of the room was probably seeping a little way out and making it possible to breathe a bit.

While out in the space-ness, I came across a tiny (golf ball sized) version of Mars and its two moons floating around. I began playing with the little planet and pushing it around, changing its orbit, moving the moons, and sending it across the vastness.
Eventually I looked up and saw that in front of me, the blackness had become a thin band and was being replaced by exactly what was behind me. I decided that it was space-time bending around itself and being all wormholeish.

TLDR; I basically played God for a while and was surprisingly sensible about the whole thing. It was awesome.

(I think I'm not recalling the real beginning of this dream, so I'll start from where I start remembering the dream)

I was sitting in a bus and it was night, I think the bus was driving through some kind of tunnel. I was looking up and there was a hole or window in the bus there and at some spot we were driving through I could see the sky and the stars. It was just for about 2 seconds that I could see them and the first moment they looked normal but the next moment the amount of stars I could see started to heavly increase and they were forming a shape, a little like a magical seal. I was literally thinking "WTF?" and pinched my nose, and I could breathe perfectly, making me immediately lucid. I got up and looked around me (there seemed to be some random stuff in the bus) and told myself "all this is not real", resulting in some energy coming from me (I think) which dissolved everything to a more clear state, as well as helping me to stabilise.
Like usually I teleported to another place, I was left in a rather empty room, pretty dark but with some blue and purple colors. Looking out of one of the windows I saw space, looked like a blue galaxy. I wanted to go there so I went closer to the window with the intent to pass through it, but when I came closer I saw a reflection in the window, caused by the lamp in the from, preventing me from going there. So I simply opened the window and jumped through which worked well, I told myself "there's no gravity in space" so I only fell a few meters down and then I started floating. The blue part looked a lot like it had been painted to a wall because I could see a cube like shape from the inside (like when you are in a room). I turned around and went to a more red part of space, there was a sun and a bunch of asteroids around it. I thought about a certain track called Nebula (EBF3) which I then heard playing. The details of the stellar objects were going down a lot though and I only saw them in polygons. I was lightly jumping from one asteroid to another and tried to raise the details but I woke up.

I finally made it into space! Even though I had no idea how to handle myself once I got there, the fact that I flew up there was a huge milestone. Before this, stable flight had been a bit elusive for me. Big step forward!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #20: The Unprepared Astronaut

I'm a graduating senior in college, following around a guy who seems to think we're close friends. I feel pretty guilty because I have no memory of him at all. I'm accompanying him so he can say his post-college goodbyes to his girlfriend. We meet her outside of a dormitory, and I recognize her as a girl that I know from high school. I recognize how weird this is and quickly find myself lucid.

Both of the dream characters freeze in place, looking into one another's eyes. I decide to leave the love birds alone while I take another pass at Task of the Month. (In this case, I'm going to be trying to remove my head and replace it with a pumpkin.) I try to will a mirror onto the outer dormitory wall but nothing appears.

I remember how much more dream control success I have when I'm detailed and thorough. I try again, this time imagining an ornate mirror that's been worn by time, the paint on its frame beginning to chip and flake off. This time I get my mirror!

I look into the mirror but it's dirty and cloudy-looking. The reflection looks like a shirtless me but it's very hard to make out any detail. I wipe at the mirror but it just doesn't make any difference. Rather than get hung up here and waste a lucid dream doing glass-cleaning, I decide to spend my time trying out other things.

I leave the grounds of the dormitory and head out onto a quiet, empty street. The morning feels chilly and the city is covered with a blanket of fog. I wonder what this fog looks like from above, so I decide to try flying above it. This time, I focus on the little details. The chill of humid air against my fingertips. The breeze flowing past my hair and tickling my scalp. Concentrating on these sensations leaves me no time for doubt and I smoothly rise up into the fog.

The fog swallows me whole as I rise. I wonder how long it will take me to pierce it. I feel myself going faster and faster and soon I'm rocketing up through the atmosphere. The fog never seems to end and I feel like I must be high above the Earth.

Suddenly I break through into blackness. I stop rising, my momentum suddenly gone. I'm in the blackness of space and the fog is now a floor below me. I realize that it isn't just the city that was covered in fog -- it's the entire planet. I am able to breathe but I somehow can't keep myself from doing so in these desperate, shallow gasps.

My flight abilities have stopped working and my arms and legs flail helplessly. I will myself a pair of rocket shoes but I get confused trying to work the lever that turns them on. I start losing my cool and my breathing becomes even gaspier until I wake up.

I woke up at around 5:00. I had become lucid and immediately woke up. I gasped for breath and my eyes were open immediately. (I always wake up like this, this makes DEILDs impossible for me.)

I decided to try a WILD, though I'm not entirely familiarized with the procedure. I can remember trying three times. The first two times, I snapped out of it because I was drifting to sleep non-lucid. The third time, I drifted off into a non-lucid dream.

The dream was about my technical campus. (I am dual enrolled, at high school and a tech school visual imaging campus.)
Anyways, our instructor was explaining a new assignment that we were getting on Photoshop. We had to draw a planet.
Then he showed us this stunning visual demo of a planet somebody drew. It was a planet made out of technology (think death star surface) but it had an atmosphere glowing bluish-green. The visual zoomed in and we went inside the planet. there were multiple layers of this city-technology, separated by empty space.
I stated that I thought the planet looked a little like Dovia. (This was a planet from a science fiction novel that started writing last year.)
Then, I began drawing my own planet. I decided that I wanted mine to look like Jupiter began drawing this orange planet with a green spot.

I made a host of mistakes here, and I know what they are:

1-Not incubating my dream to the planned beach setting.

2-Not knowing the WILD procedure very well.

3-Not waking myself up enough.

With that in mind, I can try again tonight.

Italic Text = Personal Thoughts
Normal Text = Non-Lucid Segment
Light Purple Text = Partially Lucid Segment
Purple Text = Lucid Segment

I was hanging out with my mum and we decided to go and get some pizza for dinner. We headed upstairs in our house, which had apparently turned into a floor dedicated to restaurants and fast-food joints. We head into my parents' bedroom which was now a pizza place called "mama's pizza" or something. They had a deal where if you got 3 toppings on your pizza you got a second pizza for free. We asked for a menu and I seemed to be unfolding the thing for ages, it was ridiculously long once it had all been unfolded. I found the pizza section and they had the most bizarre toppings. We decided to go with pepperoni, plum and onion. We were debating the apricots instead of the onion, but chose against it.

We waited for a while and finally our food was ready, although, instead of pizza they had served us up gigantic salmon fillets with our chosen toppings on. We decided to just walk out without paying and go to another pizza place.

Across the hall in my brother's bedroom (which was supposedly Pizza Hut) we wonder why it's just a bedroom when it had a huge "Pizza Hut" sign on the door. We walk out and go into my bedroom, labelled as Domino's Pizza, and the same issue occurs.

I become lucid randomly and, as always when I become lucid, I do the most random things to stabilise. I start grabbing onto portions of my mother's hair and stroking my fingers through it. When I'm satisfied with the level of stabilisation I head over to the wall I always use to phase through in my lucid dreams. I remember the Advanced Task of the Month and will myself to go there, but when I walk up to the wall I just smack my face into it. I keep trying to push myself through, but nothing happens.

I give up on this goal for now because I didn't want to waste the lucidity. I go downstairs and in the living room I decide to try conjuring up an energy ball in my hands. Nothing really happens at first, I'm holding my hands with a small ball shape space in the middle and specks of ambient light are shining out of it as I try to conjure the energy ball. I move on to trying to do a "Kamehameha Wave" from the Dragonball series. I pull my hands back and it works right away, an orb or blue light starts growing in size in my hands and but when I release it, a beam of light is just projected in the direction I point with no destructive force. I try again multiple times with varying degrees of success, when I notice how stunning the outside world looks.

It almost looks like it's snowing, although it's far too dark for that. I assume it's ash, like what you get after a volcano erupts. Somebody had placed a huge cover over my Dad's car, but the rest of the street was completely barren, not a car or person in sight.

I was going to phase through the window to get outside, but I remember the failed attempt with the wall so I decide to just punch the window, breaking it. Initially there's a huge fist hole in the glass and slowly it begins shattering into tiny pieces, soon spreading to all other panes of glass in the window. It's fascinating to watch as it crumbles apart.

I climb up through the window and head outside. It's no longer snowing ash and most of what settled on the ground seems to have disappeared. The next portion is somewhat blurry and I think I briefly lost lucidity. I was using a wall as if it was a keyboard and typing to a friend, saying something along the lines of "Isn't it awesome how I'm sending you this message from inside a lucid dream?!"

Afterwards, my lucidity fully returns and I walk out into the middle of the street performing reality checks to stabilise. There's a zombie behind me wrapped up in chains and slightly in front of it I notice a truck with cages stacked on it slowly making its way down the street. Up the front of the truck was another zombie in one of these cages and then I notice even more similar cages lined up down the street in front of everyone's houses.

I fly up in the air, deciding to ignore the distraction and remembering my goal to fly into space. I fly higher and higher until I get to a point where the scenery in the distance just kind of "cuts off", as if it's a chunk of Google Maps which is taking a while to load. I turn around and ignore it, continuing to fly up. I'm at the highest I've ever been while flying and I can see the curvature of the world now.

I notice how awesome the sky looks, there's lots of dark clouds interlaced with white ones and a deep blue sky. Over in the distance I notice a thunderstorm starting, so I hurry and fly up through the clouds before it makes its way over to me.

Upon reaching the atmosphere I'm astounded by the awesome appearance of the sun as it shimmers over the Earth's surface. The clouds had cleared now and it's almost cartoon-like how detailed I can see the Earth's land from this high up. I turn around, briefly blinded by looking directly at the sun, until I find the moon.

I fly towards it leaving the Earth behind. When I reach it I'm shocked at how small my subconscious had chosen to depict it, it was so small I could see a pretty sharp curvature after landing on the moon's surface. I look towards the Earth and notice again how unrealistically small it is, my subconscious had depicted it as so far away from the moon. Regardless, I'm amazed at how everything looks. From here I can see the other planets in our solar system in the distance and the sun glimmering over the Earth.

At this point I'm reminded of the video game "Portal", and just that thought is enough to trigger a schema and an orange portal is formed on the moon's surface, right in front of me. I'm pleased with my first ever portal creation, albeit somewhat small. I stick my head through it and see what looks like a lab with DCs discussing something on the other side of the room. I pull back out of the portal and try to make it bigger without much luck, so I just try squeezing through.

I end up being sucked in and I'm now standing upright in this lab, portal closed behind me. I quickly discover that what the DCs were talking about was a self-destruct sequence for this room. Myself and two others were left behind in here and we were rapidly trying to find a way out. The hatch the other DCs used to escape had been sealed and upon trying to open a new portal it doesn't lead anywhere as the previous portal exit had closed.

I tell one of the DCs with me, a tall man with dark hair, to grab onto my hand and squeeze it. I use his squeezing as an anchor onto the dream world so that I can close my eyes and use lucid powers to find a way out of here. He grabs hold of my hand but starts questioning me as to what I'm doing. I tell him to shut up as I can't concentrate and, finally, I close my eyes and focus on the squeezing sensation from his hand.

Soon I get a "vision" of sorts in the darkness. I see a ventilation shaft that we can escape through. I explain this to them and we rush towards it, slipping down through the tight gap.

We appear on the other side and the scene transition has made me lose lucidity, which I'm frustrated over because I would have been able to complete the Basic Task of the Month.

We seem to be in an engine room, but I soon discover that we've simply become incredibly small, or we're just on a huge circuit board. There are transistors, a CPU and huge wires which look like vines. Everything in here is running at extreme temperatures so we have to avoid touching any of them, otherwise we'd turn into roast human.

The others leave me behind and I struggle to make my way through without touching anything. I briefly scrape against a small white box and feel the heat scorch my arm. I cringe and move on, making my way to this ladder and burning myself multiple times in the journey.

We all climb the ladder together and I wake up.

I just had an awesome lucid dream last night, and since I was supposed to start coming back to this DJ now, I thought that this would make the perfect place for me to start up agian.

So anyways, It started out with me at some kind of festival for very famous people. I didn't get to go inside the building but I kept on seeing limousines and other exotic and high-end vehicles driving into the parking structure.
Eventually, for a reason that I cannot remember, (My recall was poor at this point) I started driving a bus. The bus had extremely bad handling and I could barely reach the pedals.
I was about to go though an intersection and I stepped on the brake. Only my big toe could reach and I barely pressed it down. The bus ran though the intersection and collided with another car.
"Oh, I'm in deep crap now..." I said.
Someone on the bus said something. This triggered lucidity.
"Or, maybe I'm dreaming!" I said to myself
Now I can't really remember what happened after that, but my recall picks up when I started flying. (I think I might have had a false awakening, too.) I can remember saying something like "I get to fly as fast as light"
Next thing I know, I was in third person, flying away from earth. Earth shrunk to a dot in a matter of seconds. Then, all of the stars turned to white lines. (Think Millennium Falcon light speed) Then I accelerated again, going so fast there was just a purple tube of energy around me.
At this point, My lucidity sort of amped up and things really got good. I appeared in my neighborhood, and went back into first person.
"Cool, I'm having one of those "Neighborhood" dreams"
I took a short time to stabilize. I began to look for my dream guide. I began calling for them to show themselves. I noticed another DC, a small boy with a huge baseball helmet.
Before I knew it, Dream characters started appearing everywhere. Some of them looked deceptively like my DG, but were not. The people were there to distract me. I waved my hand over a group of people, and shouted "Delete"
The people spontaneously disappeared. I made my way down the street, deleting people as I went, but more and more people were appearing, and the "Delete" was becoming less effective.
"Pause" I shouted. Everyone but me froze.
"Delete All" I shouted, and all of the people, frozen in their positions were pulled towards a small portal in the floor of the street and fell down it. The portal closed when everyone had fallen though.
I turned around.
"Draw Dream Guide"
It took me a second to realize this command actually worked. I turned around, and looked at the spot where the portal had closed.
A black man with long hair in dreads appeared. He's tall and thin, in his 20's and had a huge silver and black boombox and bling necklaces. He stood up.
"You're not my dream guide!"
"Yes I am, man!" He said in a phony voice.
The dream immediately destabilized and I woke up.

Old dream from 12-26-07

LUCID DREAM 1:

I was in line waiting for a movie or concert or something that was supposed to be really cool. I was with a girl that reminded me of Cloe from Smallville.

We finally get to the part where we buy our tickets. I see Burns there. I give Burns my money and she hands me a ticket. I look at the ticket and there is something brown on it. I looke closer and see that it's dried up dog poop. I show it to Burns and she apologizes and gives me another ticket. This ticket also had dog poop on it. I ask her if I could have another one. She is embarrassed and this time gives me a special big ticket. This one is about the size and texture of a mouse pad. It has pictures on it. I realize that this special ticket is kind of like a back stage pass. I'm happy to have it. I thanks Burns and move on.

The next part is fuzzy. My notes don't help. They just say: " line, gym, hiding, lose ticket". I do remember the "lose ticket" part. I remember looking aound in that huge group of people and not being able to see my lost ticket. I then remember saying to myself," If I could fly I could find my ticket easier.....and if I fly, that will mean I'm dreaming."

I suddenly took off flying above the heads of all the people. I started looking for the ticket. Then I thought, "If I'm dreaming, the ticket is not important". It took a moment for me to pull myself away from that task of looking for the ticket. But I then decided to fly out the door. I saw a double door that stood open. I swooped over the heads of the people and out the door. I saw Jeff sitting at a desk outside the door. I kept going. I flew over the buildings and tried to gain altitude so I could look down and see the whole city. But as soon as I tired this the dream started to fade.

I made myself focus. I made everything clear again. i decided that I did most of the tasks I had in mind to do in the last LD. But then I remembered that I needed to go to space again. So I started to fly up. Before I knew it I saw that I was indeed in the darkness of space. I saw stars around me. I made myself go faster so I had the cool effect of the stars all passing me. The I realized that I really really wanted to find a space ship and go board. I start looking around and see lots of object all around me. Some are planets and some are space ships. I find a space ship that is rather close and head toward it. But before I reach it I wake up.
__________________

So last night I had more than one dream. Each dream I had didn't seem to have a beginning nor end. The first dream I can remember I went Lucid shortly.
It started with me being in this huge creepy (Not old just scary) Mansion of some sort. The inside was endless and I was looking for a way out but each door I opened led to another completely different looking house. For example I would be in a middle class house and could see a yard out side in the country then I would go through a door and I would be in a very expensive looking apartment in the city. I couldn't go through the windows for some reason and there were no exits. The harder I tried to leave to deeper I seemed to go. The new rooms grew more and more dark and warped. Everything started to feel wrong I got a idea in my head that I had to leave or I would die there. At some point I opened a door and the room looked like space yet I knew if I fell I would fall forever. I had to go along this ledge to get to the next door. I opened it and was in a normal yet poorly let house. It looked really familiar but I couldn't figure out why . (When I woke up I realized it was the house I lived in in a dream I had a long time ago) Anyway I'm standing there and suddenly I understand why nothing makes any sense. I was dreaming. I walked around intently looking at everything. I kept saying "This is cool....I'm really asleep.....everything's so real...." I was picking stuff up and feeling it and looking over everything. It was cool. I went and looked out a window and was like "SSSSPPPPAAACCCCEEEE!!!! >:3" At that point I didn't care about leaving because I knew it was just a dream so I just explored some. Ate some point I must of woke up shortly or had a major dream change. The next dream I had I didn't go lucid.

I was in a movie theater getting my ticket. I went in the the show room and looked around for a place to sit. That when a guy walked past me that look just like one of my friends but older. He stopped and was like "Hey long time no see" He was referring to us not seeing each other over the summer but he looked way older the he was. He is 17 but looked 20. Anyway turns out all my friends were there. I go to sit down by them But someone says they are saving that seat. For some reason I get offended and sit away from them (Would never happen...I love my friends) They are like "Awwwww come back" I ignore them and the movie starts. I don't get to watch it though because the jerk next to me start talking and everyone tells him to shut it but in the end a guy asks him to leave ALONG with me because the think I'm with him. I'm like "I don't know this guy! I'm not even involved." My friends come to my aid even though I was a jerk but they still kick me out.
Dream shifted
I'm at a construction sight and I have no idea why. My parents are apparently rich and own the place but there not my parents and I know it. I walk around and everyone acts like they know me but I don't know them. Then my little "brother" whom I don't know ether tell my mom said to inside. I'm just like "meh..." and go with it. I go inside this cool looking rich person house. Inside there is this guy who says "Hey come look at the full moon" He hands me a pirate like telescope (I don't know what they are called - _ -) I look out at the moon but its green and blue. Then I realize its the earth....and I'm not on it. So naturally I freak out.
Dream shift
Ok now I'm on my road that goes to my house. I walk past a park were they are opening a new pool. I hitch a ride with this guy to my house (I guess I could have just walked...idk) So I'm going down the street to my house and I pass a lot of stuff that didn't mean anything in my dream (when I woke up I remembered That a lot of places I passed were more places I had been in other dreams...so that's kind of cool) Then he dropped me in front of my house. I think something else happened my it's foggy because my grandma woke me up soon after.

I don't think my recall has ever been this good! Four dreams in one night? That's unheard of for me! I think anally writing in my dream journal has helped. The melatonin too.

Matt in Spaaaaace

Me, two friends, and a teacher/commander dude were in a space station. From the inside, it looked like a standard building on Earth, complete with full gravity, though it had a la-bor-a-tor-y feel to it. One of the rooms had an entire wall open to space, though we could still breathe and nothing was getting sucked away. This was the room where we put on our space suits, which were drastically slimmer than the RL models, though they still had the clichéd bubble helmet. The three of us (not the commander) squeezed into a satellite looking thing, that took us out into the asteroid field. When we got out and set foot on an asteroid, the commander was already there, with no spacesuit (and may I say the stars in the background looked pretty cool). The gravity was less, but still very present. He gave us these weird grid bubble tray looking things. Basically a 3D light blue grid with bubbles where the lines intersected. We were to pull these through floating dust on the asteroids, which collected something from the dust into the bubbles. I think it may have been water. Once we filled all of them, we got back in the satellite/ship, went back to the station, and put away the trays and suits.

Fattest. Chipmunk. Ever.

There was some type of zombie/mutagen virus scenario going on, in my house. Me, my mom, and some stereotypical zombie game protagonist were sitting in the living room watching TV, when my mom told me to go get a tissue and blood sample from one of the infected. Apparently we kept all the infected out of one half of the house, because beyond this half there was blood and dirt everywhere. I'm not sure how we pulled it off, since our house is pretty open, and anything could just walk through it. When I went over there, I saw a bloated infected chipmunk chasing a healthy one, and the only way it could move was by flopping. His stomach was easily the size of two tennis balls. He eventually gave up on chasing the other one, then I made a whistle that my cat usually responds to, and he started enthusiastically following me. I remember thinking "I don't wanna touch that," and leading it onto a hand towel laying on the floor. Then I took a blade/chain/whip thing, and sliced into its neck, reluctantly killing it. I did it again, at a different angle, then tore out a chunk of perfectly white flesh with red spots. It reminded me of a potato. My mom walked over and I gave it to her, then she handed me a syringe to get the blood sample.

Changing in a... Suicide Booth?

I was a member of the Planet Express crew on Futurama, and we were preparing to go on a mission which involved someone putting on a protective suit which just happened to smell like rotting fish. Leela said she couldn't wear it because she had a date tonight, and I of course didn't want to wear that thing, so we made Fry do it (big surprise). He got into what looked like a suicide booth to change, and was trying to put it on with it touching as little of him as possible. We quietly laughed at him as he tried to put it on, and then he fell over inside the booth, the suit touching all of him. Then it went silent, and we walked to the front of the booth (we had been beside it) and saw his silhouette standing motionless. When we opened it, he was hanging from the cieling with no noose, eyes and mouth wide open, as if he was dead. We knew he was playing a joke, then shut and opened the door again. And his jacket was missing. We did it again, and his shirt was off. We kept shutting and opening the door, and every time something was different about his pose. We were impressed that he was able to do that so quickly and silently.

Friends at Wal-Mart

I was at a fair with my dad, step-mom, and step-sister. I don't remember much about this part, but eventually we went to a Wal-Mart nearby to buy something. At one point we came to a "Learn Español" book section. We talked about Spanish for a while, then left and my step-mom said something like "Oh, let's learn Spanish again," to my dad, while clinging to his arm like a three-year-old. Then I guess we forgot something, and turned around to go back into the store. I saw my friend Patricia, and we waved to each other. We went in and out of the store quickly, and this time when we came out Seirra was there. (We were good friends for a long time, then a bunch of regrettable stuff happened and I've been trying to show her how sorry I am, blah blah blah, long story short, she hates me now and talking to her would make me really happy.) She started following us, and said something to me. I thought she was talking to Abbi (step-sister) at first, and asked if she was talking to me. She looked at me as if to say "yes," and we talked casually for a few minutes before I woke up and realized she still won't talk to me.

[Dream happened at 7:50AM or so... considering that a month ago i was complaining that all my LDs are after 8AM, this changed a lot these days ]
[I was falling back and forth between fully lucid and semi-lucid states in this dream, not exactly sure why... but sadly i forgot my goals that i planned]

As i was just escaping some kind of factory and while flying above our garden i got lucid. The dream was really blurry, so i kept flying in a circle and thinking about how the dream will be clear. It worked fast. Once it was clear i decided to move on from the garden. [These days most of my lucids start out in our garden for some reason... probably because i pass most of my time at home during these hot days].

I decided to go to the backside of the garden and find my way through the neighbouring gardens to somewhere new. As i was flying there, i kept shifting my thoughts about my real body and my dream body and it caused the dream to start falling apart, then stabilize multiple times. I did this just for fun, but then i even rubbed my hands together to stabilize in the end, just in case, but i still woke up once.
[I went back with DEILD].

As i was flying in that direction, i noticed a blonde, short haired old nun. I thought that she said something to me, but i didn't care much.
Instead of listening to her, i descended a little and landed on her head with one of my feet, then propelled myself forward with a jump from her head... she must've been angry after that...

As i got to the end of the garden i realized that there is a huge wall of hedge blocking off everything else from the garden. I wanted to get through it, but my control wasn't on the top here... i just got stuck between the branches and leaves. I gave up on it and flew back the other way towards the street.
I got out on the street and everything looked differently here. The road was much more wider and there was heavy traffic. Even my house disappeared as i looked back.
[At this moment i became semi-lucid].

For some reason i thought of angels and seen a glory floating above the clouds... I wanted to get up there, so i started flying upwards, but i just fell back to the ground soon after. I tried multiple times, but it always happened the same way. At the same time, i heard an old man's voice, who kept saying things like "You can do it!" "Don't give up!"
I didn't see him, but since i was semi-lucid, for some reason i knew that it must be my uncle (who i don't even know in real).

After a while i got fully lucid again and i gained back the control. I jumped high above and started flying really fast towards the sky, where i noticed a huge hole. I kept flying towards it, but it didn't took long until that hole sucked myself into it... Turns out this was actually a wormhole leading somewhere into space.

It was an interesting experience floating in the wormhole as it was constantly moving me to an unknown place.
Once the wormhole ended, i got thrown out of it onto a huge floating rock. My angle of view changed here and it slowly moved away from me. There were lots of floating rocks in all directions and there was only space around them, nothing else.
As the view slowly moved through all the rocks, i noticed some amazon looking girls on the rocks and they were about to attack me for infiltrating their homeworld.
[I became semi-lucid yet again].

After this moment i didn't regain my lucidity fully... the whole floating rocks place turned into a videogame environment and i was controlling a character who had two green lightsabers... I fully lost lucidity soon after.

[Well, the dream wasn't that interesting in my opinion and because of me not being fully lucid all the time, it took away somewhat from the experience...]
[Oh well... a lucid is a lucid, even if i don't complete my goals... ]

In short this dream, I was in outer space alone and deaf. I was outside above my square spaceship climbing a rope straight up and up, until I went into a straight full circle because I found myself climbing up towards my spaceship.

Long version
I awoke to find myself in suspended animation climbing up a thick rope in the far deep space. I realized I was stricken with deafness. I shook my head fiercely and clapped my hands strongly trying to produce a sound, but no sound arose. I was stone-cold deaf. I felt my lungs blow up like balloons as I inhaled. I could taste the moisture in my mouth. I could feel my hot breath swirling around my helmet and my face. I kept climbing up the coil rope that went from my tiny, white, square spaceship into the stillness of eternal night. I saw no planets, suns, moons, or people--just myself, the rope, the spaceship and the blackness of space with little points of light millions of miles away. My little spaceship disappeared into the vacuum of space below as I climbed up further. There was no wind, movement, signal and no hope, just emptiness, The sullen silence smell like melting ice as it fades away kinda like a distant memory I can almost remember. I was the only thing alive in the universe. A terrible feeling of loneliness captured me like awakening from a coma to find myself paralyzed in my own grave. Suddenly, I saw something above me so I climbed faster. I realized somehow I went into a straight full circle. Above me now was my tiny, little, white, square spaceship. Then I awoke with a feeling of wonder and awe.

I haven't posted in a while.
It's kinda difficult to find the time to do so with my current health issues. (It's nothing too serious I think, but it impedes me from doing activities that require a decent amount of brain power)
The few moments where I feel alright and I'm motivated to write, I spend it trying to somehow finish my masters thesis in time.
It's quite frustrating to know that it is going to take some more time until this will be resolved, because apparently it's perfectly normal to have to wait 10 weeks to get an mri done in this country. :/
Then again, we got fantastic healthcare, so I shouldn't complain.

Anyways, I don't really have the motivation to properly write down things that have happened in relation to the Templar story arc, but I figured I'd at least post something.
Something that is much easier to write.
So here's a random dream from last night which I thought was really cool, though I now realize that I'm going to have a hard time explaining why.
It's weird how that works, sometimes a seemingly normal event can be very emotional in dreams.



I'm in my bed, trying to fall asleep, when I notice that something is off with the lighting.
Normally my room is really dark at night, there's a few very faint green and blue lights from a switch and a file server in the room, but that's about it.
You really have to navigate the room by memories (if you don't turn the lights on), because it is too dark to make out anything.
But for some reason I can distinguish everything clearly, even though it's all pitch black.
What a contrast!

Fortunately I know this look very well.
Dark dreams! In my dreams darkness is usually compensated by a ludicrous amount of contrast, so I can see very clearly, even though it is really dark.
It is rather astonishing how many shades of black there really are, and how easily they can be distinguished if you aren't limited by the human eye.

I get out of bed and start exploring the house.
I don't bother thinking about my current situation or dream stabilization because I'm under the impression that I'm fully lucid.
This is however not the case.
I'm not thinking clearly, as I would in a "fully" lucid dream.
Yes, I'm aware that this is a dream, but I'm not thinking about doing cool stuff. No epiphanies or anything.
Just a mindless zombie strolling through the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of something extraordinary.

Once I am downstairs I notice that the scenery outside has changed rather dramatically.
This is not where my house is in waking life at all!
I go outside to explore more, and find that my house is now placed right next to a rather large lake.
It is perfectly still and reflects the sky like a flawless mirror.


Cool!
I start walking over it, something I often do in dreams.
Walking on water is really pleasant, if you do it barefoot that is.
The water is really cold and I get chills up my spine during my first few steps.

The sky is cloudless. It is perfect! There is no light pollution whatsoever. What a sight!
But then I realize that I'm not really lucid.
Or rather, I realize that I'm not thinking.
Exploring your own thoughts is an amazing thing to do in dreams, and has become my favorite way of stabilization.
If you're thinking clearly, dreams receive a huge boost in stability.
It's also a good way to calm down if you are easily excited.

Anyways, after some thinking I feel like I've gotten my brain to work adequately.
But oddly enough I'm not in the mood to leave this place, even though I am now fully aware that I can.
There is something very special about this scenery, and I'd like to stay for a bit longer.

I take off my t-shirt, noticing that it's a bit odd that I'm wearing one.
I never wear shirts to bed, especially not in the summer.
I lie down on my back.

It feels sooo good. My back touches the extremely cold water surface, which carries me easily.
I feel very floaty and stretch out my arms.

But even though this sensation is very enjoyable, blissful even, I cannot help but feel sad.
Because in this sky I can see so many stars.
Billions of them. And beyond them are billions of galaxies, containing billions of stars each.
And I'm here, on this rather insignificant piece of rock: planet earth.
Insignificant. That's really all I can think off.
In comparison to the size of planet earth we have explored less than a single grain of sand.
I feel alone. I feel stuck. I want to leave this planet.

I stretch my right arm out and grab onto the stars in my field of vision with my hand.
It's odd how I feel compelled to make this gesture even though nobody can see it but myself.
I want to go there one day. I want to go within my lifetime.
I want to explore this seemingly endless space.
But I realize that I have most likely been born too soon.
Why could I not have been born later, in an age where we are space explorers?

...

Well, that is just fucking depressing.
What is wrong with me?
I'm dreaming. It's all about experiencing the unimaginable. It's about having fun.
Yet here I lie, acting all melancholic.


But then one of the stars becomes slightly brighter.
For some reason I know that this is a super massive star that has just reached the end of its lifetime.
Its core has collapsed, releasing a massive shock-wave. A supernova!
During its lifetime it has fused hydrogen into heavier elements.
Helium, Lithium, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen and many more.
And now, as its final act it is launching all of it into the vastness of space.

But these elements will inevitably find others. They will attract each other and slowly but surely clump together.
Some of them will turn into planets over the course of millions of years.
And with a lot of chance, one of these planets will be at a certain distance from a sun.
Maybe another smaller body will orbit it. A moon.
And maybe, if everything goes right, some of the elements this planet consists of will combine in a certain way.
And then there will be life... there will be another earth.
Because that's what life is.
That is what we are.
We are all made from stardust, forged within the cores of super massive stars.

And that is a really beautiful thought.
Because even though we might appear insignificant compared to the vast size of the universe...
we are special!
I mean seriously. What are the fucking odds?

And that makes me feel really great and I cannot help but smile.