memorable

11.10.2014

Sniping & Ripping Someone's Head Off (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This is a very disturbing dream simply because for the first time in a long time, there was something I did that would be very graphic, and maybe gore-y to some extent.

I’m bending my knees at a hiding point within a train station of some sort. The atmosphere consists mostly of a milky sepia toned overlay, along with subtle hints of brown, and dark mustard gold components as well. There’s a contrast of very cool colors like blue, green, and violet to the left of me.

But what’s really important is what’s located to the right of me. Based on my emotions, I felt as if I was having to mentally prepare myself for doing something very bold. Apparently, it was to assassinate an elderly man that’s onboard a speeding train, and I have to use a sniper rifle in order to kill him. It seems this was suitable for some reason due to how noisy the train may be, which would mask out the sound of the sniper rifle shots.

I can’t recall what kind of clothing I was wearing in particular, but I presumed it had to be very light in order for me to traverse around the area quickly and efficiently just in case I needed another reference point to shoot form. And I believe there was someone right beside me that would be my backup/partner/comrade, but I didn’t pay too much attention to them, even when being aware of my peripheral vision on the right side.

It made sense since all I could focus on was the target at hand. I wasn’t sure why I was doing this, and it felt as if I was just playing the typical video game where the character has to shoot down some grandiose villain who happens to be proficient in Black Marketing with Uranium, or some other atomically potent weapon of mass destruction.

I noticed that I seem to be at a perfect angle in order to take several shots at once with the rifle. Imagine being aware right where you’re at now, and knowing you’re bracing your back against the intersection of two walls that would be going out in a “V” formation expanding away from you. Now imagine the scenery shifting from a sepia tone overly, to one consisting of cool colors (e.g., turquoise, violet, green). This will be crucial in distinguishing what would be an implied “actual time and space” setting with the cool colored overly, and the sepia tone that would imply that time would be put to a halt while I’m able to move freely at “normal speed” compared to the space surrounding me.

I noticed what looked like your casual train going through a linear track system is coming very soon, and I seem to fluctuate between controlling time a little bit, and going through trial-and-error of how I would land my shots. As the train gets closer, maybe 50-100 feet away from my location, I prepare the rifle, and zoom into a first person perspective, and it seems I have auto-assist in the dream or something.

Because it’s automatically shifting my aim sights to the head and chest region of the elderly looking man I’m here to kill. He’s fairly tall, maybe 5’9’’ - 5’11’’. He’s wearing a milky violet-blue dress shirt with some kind of dark blue-ish violet upside down triangle material in the interaction of the V formation his attire is exhibiting. He’s wearing a milky blue suit on top of that dress shirt that is covered up by the buttoned-up suit, and is wearing pants of similar color to the suit.

He seems to be at least within his late 40s, early 50s, but his body composition was deceiving as it implied that he could be very flexible and agile, and yet still have a powerful existence at the same time. He’s just casually standing around inside of the train. Within the train, the lighting consists of watery-lime green overlays, and somehow the attire the old man is wearing makes it easier to track him down.

Not questioning the weird logic behind this, I prepare to take a shot, and as I’m shifting my awareness to first person perspective, time is slowing down for me. I seem to be fluctuating in visuals of sepia tone, and the cooler color tone I mentioned recently for this dream. Everything seems to be connecting, and I have my sights dead-on at this guy’s head, and if not, neck and upper chest region.

I make no hesitation, and made my first shot that creates a very linear white smoking stream that’s akin to what you may see in a Halo game.

Just as I was expecting him to fall flat on the ground, it seems that I either missed, or he has an existence that seem impregnable to whatever damage is done to him, or he has a bullet proof vest that can withstand the impact of a sniper bullet coming straight at him at a high velocity.

I almost panicked a little bit simply because he would now be aware of his surroundings, and try to find the location of where the shot came from. Fortunately, he was in his own state of shock, twisting his upper region along with his head, arms and fingers, left and right as he’s anatomically allowed to move to.

And because the train is slowly moving into my limit of making a sniper shot, I somehow made time go even slower, and shifted myself quickly to another reference point to shoot from, and this time, I was able to fire 3-4 shots into the chest area of the man. But even with this ability to slow time down, and also how the gravity works as well when I’m moving, nothing is working.

For some reason, I decided to do something very unorthodox, and I can’t remember how I did it exactly. Somehow, I threw away the sniper rifle altogether since its weight would probably drag me down tremendously. Then I made a very quick dash to the left side of the train, and found some way to get inside the train.

From this point on, it seems I had better control of coordinating my dream body movements compared to the previous aiming that felt like I was just a spectator gently guiding the aiming for the dream body I’m looking from a third person behind the back perspective. Taking advantage of the time manipulation, I somehow get the old man to be pushed out of the train through the windows, or something to that effect.

I immediately jump off just seconds after he’s thrown onto the left side of the train tracks. The environment turns back to a sepia tone overly once more, and I guide my hands towards the back of the man’s face.

And then used as much centripetal force, along with making a downward curve that would end in me having my left knee bent in a tilted L-shape, and my right kneed on the ground, to decapitate the guy’s head off.


The moment this happened, the scene shifts to people looking through the window, and a few taking their upper region and heads out of the window in surprise of what was going on. One dream character I seemed to have recalled decently had a weird M-shaped mustache that was very curly and long. He looked more like a pirate rather than a person with a casual shirt and pants attire. The main colors of his outfit consisted of red with gold trimming, along with a white dress shirt underneath the red suit.

I’m surprised as well on what I did to this guy just now, and this reaction seems to prompt me to shift my awareness elsewhere.

Once again, I had a couple dreams. However, for the second one, this time I know that I was lucid. I will post these 2 dreams here.

1. I don't really remember much about this one. All I remember was that video game characters were involved. But still, might as well put this down.

2. After the last dream, again, youtube came up. And again, there were screamers involved. Not just one this time, but there were multiple involved. After the video was over, the replay button was clicked and I was like "NO! NO! NO! I'M DREAMING!" Then I saw a hallway type thing. It was very weird. The first thing I did was rub my hands together. However, I couldn't maintain lucidity, and I woke up.

I'm standing outside at a city square across the street from the beach when I remember I'm dreaming. I remember my dare to destroy a coastal city with an army of dolphins. I put my hand behind my back and call for a dolphin. I feel it's beak first and let my hand slide across it's head as it's passing me before I grab it's dorsal fin and jump on it's back to ride it. "Destroy this city!" I say. I look around and see many dolphins swimming through the air, weaving in between the buildings. I feel that I've got this task under control so I just relax on my dolphin while it swims through the air along the beach while the other dolphins do their thing. All of a sudden, there is a scene change and I appear to be in a different coastal city. My dolphin is swimming really slow and seems tired so I figured that time skipped. I get off it and summon another one just like before. When I try to grab it's dorsal fin though it turns around and bites my arm. I manage to get on it and am pleased that it's more active than the tired one.I lose my lucidity before the dream ends.

00:00 Saturday 2014-10-11 LDs #69, #70, fake mountain viewing resort, childhood home, nice kiss

04:00 bedtime. YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! (You see, I was getting ready for bed at 2am, already horribly late, wife insists I fix the clog in the bathroom sink NOW. Cleaning the pipes takes 10-15 minutes, putting them back together so they don't leak [much ] takes 1.5+ hours).

despite the drastically late bedtime, I had a number of dreams but because I moved too much most were lost except this one:

+(f) lord of the rings adventure?

+ (DO flying around) fake mountain viewing resort: there are sets for a scene from Lake Tahoe, volcanoes, etc., there's a church where they must change the wine once a week or it would freeze, jutting stone outcroppings are decorated with fake mist

Somewhere around 9:00 wife's alarm goes off. I'm getting back to sleep for a long time.
Countdown a bunch. It's HOT, put arm outside comforter to dissipate heat. Take off remee, I'm all sweaty underneath it and too hot, try to sleep without it, put it back on as I get drowsy after cooling off, and drift off into dream....

Let go, let go, dream come get me...

(somewhere between 9-11)

+ (lucid)
I'm lucid as the dream forms. I guess this means it's a WILD, don't care so much about the category. The image appears and solidifies. It's as if I'm standing in the closet of my childhood bedroom looking out to a a portion of my bedroom, I see one of the twin beds. It is as if the scene is partially in a black frame. I can't detach from where I am, feel a bit unstable, start rubbing hands and don't stop until I can enter. I call to my mother whom I "know" is just behind the area blocked by the blackness to come out and sit on the bed.

After enough hand rubbing I can detach from my starting point and enter the dream, there is a brief disorientation and them I'm walking out of my bedroom the dream is now "full screen", I enter the upstairs hallway, I reach the top of the stairs, turn, descend, I'm thinking a little bit that it's sort of weird just to walk around when you're lucid but I'm really enjoying it, I don't care, it's stable and solid. I reach the bottom of the stairs and enter the living room. There are many many objects, I'm amazed at the detail, it feel really waking-life. There are lots of small digital clocks with bright colors showing the time, I don't look at them but notice them shining in the dim light (green some of them). The lighting is dim but everything is clearly seen. The room is full of objects, unlike previous dreams where it's been empty or just a few things. I notice the old B&W TV on a stand near the entrance to the dining room, think it's interesting that I see the old TV. Walking further into the room I turn to my right and glance at the piano area, I see it is filled with discarded crumpled up Christmas wrapping paper. I want to do some lucid eating so I head for the kitchen, I'm in the dining room almost to the kitchen and think "no, do the TOTM non-waking instrument task." I turn around and head back to the living room, I open a buffet sliding door and pull open a drawer with the intention of finding a musical instrument that doesn't exist in waking life. The drawer is full of random small junk, no instrument. I then think to ask the "dream guides" for it, I hold out my arms as if carrying an invisible pile of firewood and say "give me an instrument that does not exist in waking life" but nothing appears. When I speak hear my voice as if distant but it's clear. I give up and go outside on the deck to admire the view. The view is amazing, I see all the way to The City and the sparking lights. Some lights are pure blue. Some lights are little square blobs on top of straight sticks and I recognize these as indicators from a space-sim game I've been playing a lot of (Oolite) and chuckle out loud as I recognize the residue and know where it's from. I reach the main corner of the deck and decide to fly up in to the air, I jump lightly and effortless reach up into the sky.

I'm twisting around and think I should go raiding neighbor homes for girls, but I find my flight movement control is broken, I try flapping once or twice but can't move at all, then the dream goes dark, I see only blackness. I try opening my eyes once or twice and think that I'm moving my waking eyes so I relax and stop moving.

+ (semi?) I'm thinking about PercyLucid's comments about kissing, I appear (on my parent's backyard lawn?) and bring a girl into my arms and smack a few times on a short but really erotic kiss. Possibly a daydream? If so it was really vivid, at least part actual dream I think.

+ (FA?) I'm in bed with hands rubbing, my hands are touching, I wake later with hands separate, this was probably FA.

+ (lucid)I'm lucid as an image appears of my childhood home kitchen, my view is as if I'm in the place of the stove looking at the counter/sink across from it. It also takes me a bit of effort to enter the dream, I have to "scoot" on my butt as if I'm sitting on a very large invisible bed in darkness a number of times to reach the edge and get so I get put my feet on the floor and enter the dream. I say to myself "I'd like to eat a waffle" and think about where to find one. Then I look to the right, through the door into the living room (the dining room seems not to be there) and I see it's messy with lots of bottles (wine bottles?) scattered all over the place, that must have been quite a party, , there's a sound, the dream ends, my wife is working at the table in our bedroom and is making some noise which woke me up, darn.

+ in current-day home in bedroom, whole family is in the room, I think I'm awake because my wife is talking about an errand I know she has to do in waking life today, she's talking about why she believes (an unpleasant situation we're in) is from hell.

In one of the lucids I hear some kind of announcer, it probably was my wife watching a video in the same room while I was still sleeping (argh).

*So this was a dream from a 3 hour nap, but of course felt long. As a background i'm a heavy napper, and dream extremely vividly the moment my head hits the pillow. I will start to dream as I doze off as well if i'm tired, or start hearing part of my dreams. I have no control over my dreams, I can never fly, or breathe under water. They are simply as real life is but much more interesting and include odd places and things that don't exist. I have no idea why. I am also extremely honest and social in dreams which is different from real life. My feelings don't get hurt as easily.*

I met a yellow male fairy, maybe about the size of a cat, I was told by my dad to get to know him. We were sleeping next to each other and my dad got so angry, but the fairy wasn’t human, and it wasn’t weird. I said “I knew he would get mad, he gets mad every time” and me and my dad got in a fight (me and my dad don’t really get along in real life)

Next flash. is I was ready to die, I was writing on my friends computer real fast saying “you did a good job, …. etc” it was a room with several computers and a desk near on the side from where I was sitting. If you walk the opposite way next to the desk you could leave the room. I decided not to kill myself after all, but I was going to congratulate her on being the last person I write too, but I decided not to. As I was waiting for her to see it she walked back into the room with black pearls around her neck and other such things because she became famous I guess. (this has to do with someone singing better than me in real life in a competition and that was her a few days ago)

Another flash. We were in this underground room, me and a friend I knew well, it seems like my childhood best friend but then again it didn’t. There were snakes coming out from everywhere. Out of the ceiling, out of the cracks the floors, and I was trying to avoid them. But I saw them such as you would in a movie, from one flash of a snake to the other. eventually I would jump around and swing around as much so I just let one bite me. They didn’t scare me, I just didn’t want to get bit.

Next flash. I was eating ice cubes from this icecube holder on this counter with this large room with two seperate groups of people, and stairs that go down the middle. from this large section of people. I looked at the ice cubes and they weren’t normal ice cubes, they were pretty like glass and they had a lemon seed in them and something else. I had eaten something that made my mouth burn, and I was trying to make it go away. I was spitting places such as the towel behind the picture frame hung up where the stair move down. I was hoping nobody saw me, but the last time I tried spitting in my dream since I did it more then once to get the taste to go away, I spit in real life and that’s what woke me up.

Next flash. My friend had my mini scissors that I haven’t been able to find and that I was looking for in real life today, I take them and she gets offended. I wasn’t mad but she said something along the lines of “well that flute was so expensive anyway so” and from that dream I remembered a false memory that was given to me in the dream of me giving her a flute she bought me back, I got a mental picture of it in my dream, and I had made a light hearted clever joke back to her comment about these fancy scissors I have in real life even though she was defensive.

Another flash. I was down by these booths and shops in the same place, there was this one with a lady that in my dream I remembered from before. I got there right as it was closing and she pulled down the metal to cover her booth right as I was about to look and buy something.

-I don’t really remember colors of walls or carpets.
-I don’t remember the people really. They were just details such as there is in real life.

These are only a few of the parts I remember. They all led into each other. I don’t remember the transitions or the other several places I went and things that happened besides these.

I found myself in temple. It was similar to our own temple in my village, but altar looked different, there was more gold plating on wood, and it was shining. It looked majestic somehow, in undefinable way. I wanted go out and home. But as I turned I saw again the same altar where doors out sed to be. I was confused... and turned around a few times, then I did reality check. I concluded that this is REALITY and not a dream.(Only few times I managed to differentiate between reality and dream in my dreams) I concluded that I have SLIGHT problems with my memory and I probably turn too fast to register doors. Therefore I turned directly to altar and walked backward out of temple.
Once outside, everything looked normal. I walked around temple. There were two people deconstructing an old howel. I had my bicycle nearby but it looked different. It has very big tractor transmission added on fork with big wheel on it. And two big auxiliary wheels on every side of that transmission. Man who deconstructed shed told me, that they need to drive it to scrapyard... So I said OK and I rode away. I was riding on my bicycle back home when I saw a dark gray wall on crossroad. I did again reality check, and again I concluded that I have probably problems with my perception of reality and that I'm not dreaming. I decided to use observer state (like I use by OBE) and I rode to wall. I saw that the wall was ever changing structure composed of limbs, hands and heads which looked like trying escape out into normal world. I rode directly into it, without hesitation or questioning myself whether it is sensible or not.
As I crossed threshold of wall it was like I rode into post apocalyptic world. Sky was dark gray... Houses were in ruins, smoking. Wind was making small dust devils... Ghostly figures were gliding aimlessly around it. Trees were black, naked. On the road, there were stones, debris, holes... after some time I discarded bicycle and I was walking forward. Observing, not judging state of things around me. Some ghostly figures tried to touch me, to catch me... visibly screaming. But I keep walking forward through it. I walked through a few ghostly figures, some demons like, some more humans like... I walked. And walked. There was despair, and there was me. There was pain and there was me. There was devastation, and there was me. I was observer. I was there but that THERE was not in me. After some time I got to second threshold (this one was shining) and I crossed it... again without questioning myself.
On the other side of wall the road continued curving into distance... the road was like new, trees around and grass were strong, healthy... The sky was deep blue... it was quiet. No sound was breaking the stillness surrounding me. There wasn't even wind. Everything was shining like new. Atmosphere of conflict and despair were left behind me. I turned to look back. There was no wall, no threshold, nothing... only healthy shining nature everywhere. I turned back on road and I walked. I walked forward observing but not questioning, not thinking, in everlasting here and now. I walked till I woke up.

I pretty much turn into Tom Cruise as I watch myself move in the third person. I get out of a truck and run to an abandoned building. Quickly diving through the door, I shoot someone before I tuck and roll up against a wall. Jumping around the corner, I shoot another person, then run up some stairs.

Grabbing the railing of the stairway, I pull myself up parkour style, and shoot a few more people as I'm flying mid-air. It's almost like I've rehearsed this a thousand times before - I know where all the bad guys are, and the exact timing of when they are going to attack.

At the top, I shoot through a wall and kill another guy, then shoot a metal plate at the end of a hallway, causing the bullets to bounce back and kill another guy who is hiding around a corner.

Still not much time for some reason, I run down the hall, and see someone's hands poking through a metal stock thing. I grab them and break his wrists as a form of interrogation that is the only way to make everything work. As I do so, I get shot in the arm, and without looking, shoot off to my left and kill the shooter with a no-look shot.

I feel like I've done all this countless times before, and for some reason, all of this is required of me in this current situation.

I'm laying in bed, trying to fall asleep (or so I think I am), when I hear my co-worker tell me that he just lets go completely. I try this, and feel amazing as my body falls asleep while my mind is awake. I go in and out of a really cool sensation, then feel a strange presence in my room.

I sense a being that is made completely of shadows and fear - the essence of darkness and evil itself. Quite a strong presence, but not a very happy one.

It is either a spirit or a demon, I'm not sure which it is, but there is definitely a presence here, and it doesn't like me being alive apparently. I don't mind that, and try to mind my own business, but this spirit/demon seems to attack me. I am partially crushed psychically, and have trouble breathing.

I start saying a mantra to ground me in the experience of safety, but feel too intense of a presence that is trying to harm me to even remember my mantra. "Alright, then I guess I'll just feel love for everyone since I can't do anything else"

It turns out that works more or less to pacify the demon/spirit thing. I feel like I'm left alone briefly, and allowed to collect myself. But not for long, as I feel like I am having my soul ripped from my body very shortly thereafter. I'm pretty much okay with that, I figure the end has to come sometime, but it is a little surprising. Still not many options for what to do, so I just feel love for everyone again. It seems like when I deeply do this, I am invincible. Not in the sense that my body won't die, but that my mind will not cease. It feels good to love everyone anyway.

I hear it say in a rhaspy clicky kind of voice, "booooooo bohohohohp annnnnnnnd hoooooooooold Z level now" Still not sure if it is a dream or not, I decide to just get up because it doesn't feel like I'm getting much rest facing this challenge right now, and there are things I must be doing.

At the very least, I feel like I can handle these kind of things now. Not that I enjoy it, but that it's not much of an issue.

Black is Non Lucid.
Blue is Lucid.

Lucidity: 3/5
Vividness: 4/5
Length: A Few Minutes

NOTE: I woke up around 1:30AM then went back to sleep after eating something, then woke up around 4:30AM, so this is a WBTB, for sure.

I needed to get home, so I got on the school bus so that I could get to the other side of it by going through the window. I didn't want to ride the bus since it was so packed, but once I got on it, I found out that it had over a hundred seats and was wider than three school buses combined. The seats were nice, too, like movie theater seats. I was then talking to my math teacher from last year, Mrs. Glenn, about something. She saw my drawings and thought they were nice. I was now on the side of a mountain, walking up the slope of it with my teacher. Once we went a ways, I saw statues in the ground that made me realize I'm dreaming.

I realized I was in a dream and rolled with what was happening in the non lucid dream, so I stayed with everyone that was already there. There were about five or six people with me, most of them from my school. We saw some statues that were a similar color to trees. I told them not to touch them, or they might become animated. So what do they do? They touch one of the things, and it became animated. I had to carefully touch one of them four times on the shoulder before it became unmoving again, which made me feel relieved when it fell to the earth. We kept going past the human like statues and reached a meadow. I said, "yeah, you guys are definitely in my dreams." There was a part of the walkway popped up out of the ground to walk on, curved here and there, but flat and fuzzy with the grass on it. We started walking, then when I got to an ascending part, I jumped in the air and flew over it in a pose, my leg kicked out, and the other not. I landed on the other side slowly, everyone beat me there since I was so slow. I started to fly again, then taught them how to fly. Some got it, but some didn't. I flew around the place for fun, swimming through the air to show them a trick or two. It all of a sudden turned out that we were in a room when I hit the ground, I tried to make the roof disappear, but woke up instead.

00:00 Thursday 2014-10-09

02:00 bedtime. EGADS MY BEDTIME IS BROKEN but I had to get some work investigations done.

Enough of this low recall, vague dream crap: I set strong bedtime intention despite late hour to remember dreams, have vivid dreams, wake up after dreams, and be lucid in dreams. Some awesome early vivid non-lucids, a hard-fought back to sleep victory, more vivid non-lucids, and got a TOTM DILD!

~ 08:00

I rolled over, realized I was awake, started thinking about recall but MAN my bladder is full and I'm lying right on top of it, I have to get up immediately to relieve it, trying to do recall while doing so before losing it. Got some more recall after lying back down to bed.

+(f) I'm Spock on Star Trek speaking with my clones, tearfully explaining that I'll sacrifice myself so that they may continue on (much more but forgot)

+ lying on the ground in a house, cutie (LW) walks by, I hope she'll get with me, she stops and sits down beside me, but someone else is there and nothing happens

+ we're trying to get the passenger jet airplane out of the building: there's no way it will fit through the door, but it morphs itself and collapses its wings as it moves through the doorway in order to fit, that's a pretty cool I think

+ I'm preparing for battle: I throw knives but mostly full sized swords at the wood wall, almost all of them stick in point first perfectly, I think about how many rotations they'll go through mid-air.

+ summary: flooded kitchen from bathroom above, run upstairs to investigate, Will Smith is naked in the bed, black girl "verifies his ID" by (kissing him?) a tiny Will Smith head in a pot chastises him and does a short rap rhythm.

I'm back in the kitchen (again?), this time I feel peeling wet plaster falling down on to me from the ceiling. I think I was in the kitchen before and felt drops of water, but now the ceiling is in really bad shape. I run out into the corridor and call to my friends that we must run upstairs to find the leak. Run upstairs, walking down a hallway with white walls, low lighting, I enter a bedroom to the right there is a little closet area and the path into the room sneaks around a corner, I think the guy who used to be in this room has moved out, leaving back in to the corridor I think I'd like to have this room because of the privacy, you can't see into the room directly from the corridor.

Back in the room again I notice someone lying in the bed: a black man, naked, I'm looking out the window it's fairly dark in the room and outside, I see we're on the 2nd or 3rd floor. The building across the way I see has a long pink thick/wide sturdy strap attached to the window also on the 2nd or 3rd floor, I think strangers use this to climb up into the rooms and squat there at night time. I see the same pink straps on this room's windows, the guy in bed must be also a squatter.

The guy in bed is Will Smith. He's now standing up next to me, facing a girl. There's a black girl there who will verify his ID, she (kisses him?) and is processing the information. While we're waiting for the result I notice that just beyond here is a bucket with several little tiny beings in it including a 1/4-sized Will Smith head, they are all performing the Men In Black post office beatbox:



At the end the girl approves Will Smith's ID, he was just standing there the whole time silent. His little mini-head in the bucket then tells him "Would it have KILLED you to start a CONVAAAHHSAASHUUUN!!??" (with the girl).

Long back to bed. Street noise, snoring wife, moving wife, I down count backwards doing relaxing breaths over and over again, sometimes from 20, sometimes from 10, freqently lose count, have lots of drowsiness to sink into, but my mind keeps staying active. Think about that slogan I saw on FB last night: "Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure." Decide that I'm on a wonderful back-to-sleep adventure that will be rewarded with awesome dreams. It is hard work to fall asleep under these conditions but I will do it, I will keep relaxing until eventually fall asleep. Dreamlets form but fade when I "look at" them, a number of them. Stop trying to look! Remain passive, notice without engaging, do NOT TRY to sleep, you can't force a dream, just keep relaxing.... And I WIN! Eventually sleep, have some vivid dreams, and get lucid and do TOTM.

11:00

+ summnary: trying to figure out what's going on with the shelves in this refrigerator, notice a strange tube, get lucid, do pumpkin TOTM (open a pumpkin and describe the contents).

I'm standing with my face in an open refrigerator. The top shelf is not arranged properly, it's falling off/hanging on only one side (in waking during the day I adjusted the shelve on a kitchen rack of shelves that was mis-aligned and falling off, it's right next to the refrigerator), I try to adjust it to hang it properly and horizontally, but in doing so I think maybe someone put it like this so that the tall milk bottles would be able to stand up straight on the shelve below? I close the door and the fridge is like in two sections, the top not aligned with the bottom. I see on the wall/top section hinge a small tube emerging, and a draft of cold air (and some water dripping?) is blowing out of the tube. Why is that, is it a pressure release? The cold air is coming out, will the fridge lose its cold because of this?

I'm now standing outside in daytime on a fairly steep sloping path between (widely spaced) houses but still thinking about that odd tube descending out of the refrigerator I was just observing, I've never seen anything like it before. Wait, odd thing I've never seen before? DREAM! Nose pinch confirms. I walk up the hill towards the street, immediately think of TOTM/pumpkin task [I love when goal memory comes easily]. I turn to the left at the sidewalk and go up onto the porch of a house, thinking "It is Halloween, there will be a pumpkin here." Sure enough I find a pale white/green typical jack-o-lanter-sized gourde on the porch. I reach down and imagine that it's top is already cut. I pinch the dry stem at the top with the fingers of my left hand, noticing the sensation of touching it is entirely waking-like. It lifts off easily. Oops! Below it there is another pumpkin top, this one traditional orange. Is this going to be a trick dream pumpkin trolling me with endless series of tops? No, I lift the orange one away and see the interior: no pumpkin goop, it's packed with colorful transparent packages of goodies (cookies?) I'm closely looking to be able to describe very clearly the contents, the package on top is drawn with an illustration that I think looks a lot like Charles Shultz style (peanuts), then the dream fades (either wake up or non-lucid transition, I had 2 more quite vivid non-lucid dreams after that).

+ invited to a friend's place for an event, it's awkward because I don't know anyone there, he's not there apparently, I'm walking from the living room through the kitchen area to the dining room, in the dining room the table is full of platters of cookies (I eat some?), move back to the living room, (on the way I glance into the kitchen, there's nobody there, where's my friend anyway?), some middle-aged guys (white hair and white beards some of them) are sitting on the living room floor drinking beer, some in the middle of the room facing the wall where some other people are sitting (on a couch?). I step into the middle of the living room there's a previously-played monopoly board next to them on the floor, I see it is covered with paper play money, cards, and game pieces, like the game was finished and just left there.

I'm sitting in a room down a hallway from the friend's apartment (above), a guy comes in and I said I was previously in the other apartment. I'm showing him a game I'm playing on a PC, I see the game on the screen then I'm inside the game, trying to equip weapon/armor from the confusing pop-up controls, there's a fight? Swinging a weapon? I'm back outside and choose "enter this place" (there's a choice of about 3 places to enter: left, middle right) to explore instead of going back to the fight, it's like a kitchen with hundreds of "inspect this" signs on objects everywhere.

+ In sons's room, (the cat?) spills a bottle on his important schoolwork on the floor. I'm looking at the bottle and it's empty, but as I watch I see liquid starts welling out from somewhere under my sons papers, I keep looking and see another bottle lying on its side that has some liquid in it, I tell him to pick his work up before it's ruined.

Last night I found a new and very weird place in my dream world. I don't know its name, but I call it the void.

The void is a spectacular place. As the name suggests, it mostly an empty gigantic space. It is not dark, at least I think so, since I can see perfectly inside of it. The empty space has this faint blue luminescence that allowed me to see. I could also float around at will, merely thinking where i wanted to go was enough to make me float in the direction.

It seems that the void contains fragments of buildings, soil and other things floating in patches. These patches must be incredibly far apart, for I could see no other patch from the ones I visited. These small areas are connected by some kind of wormholes, that looked like spots of absolute black against the blueness of the void. I soon learned that the wormholes was deceptive, if you go through one you end up in a new spot, but if you then go back again then you don't end up where you started! I learned that the hard way, when I realized it was impossible for me to backtrack my way to the patch I came from.

I don't remember how I ended up there, together with two people who I saw as rivals, if not enemies. I had fought them, each of us leaders of a faction of some sorts. Probably a battle inspired by the unhealthy amounts of strategy games I've played lately....

One of our common enemies, a necromancer, lived in the void. He had the power to open a gateway to the normal world. Maybe that is how we ended up there?

Dream
Lucidity

I was in a suburban neighborhood going to a friend's house, who had a Muslim father. We liked each other but couldn't date because her dad had just found out that she wanted to be a Christian. Some sort of earthquake was going to happen so I went to pick up something at a Walmart. Some guy started messing with me and we got in a fight. He pulled out a small little gun and I disarmed him and beat him even more. Security took me in and told me to do a memo on what happened. J. Martinez and R. Granado showed up and helped me, even showing me camera footage of the incident. What happened was nothing like I remembered and I did a lot of references to Frozen while talking to the guy I had fought. I watched a lot of videos of me fighting and I was thinking about dreaming and did a failed reality check. In the room I was with, Megan was sleeping. Megan got up because of some sort of leg pain. I hugged her and asked her if she was ok and told her I loved her since she said it first.
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I was in what I knew was my room and somehow realized I was dreaming. I flew up to the top of the building I was in and I started playing with my water magic. I spun in circles embracing the water I conjured. I looked at my hands but no water was coming out, which angered me a little. I flew around the night and jumped off the roof to the ground many stories down, only to do it all over again not once feeling fear or pain. Testing my dream control, I flew through the floor, appearing in the same room I was in. I did the same with the roof of the room. I decided to leave and went back to where I was, looking for a door to teleport me out of the area. For some reason, the first thing that came to mind was a prostitution ring, so that's where I chose to go. Going through a door, that led to a bathroom, I decided to go through the bookshelf and the wall behind it because I knew that would take me somewhere. I walked towards the bookshelf and eventually through it, only to get stuck half-way inside it. I wailed my arms, trying to grab onto something to pull me past the shelf but I told myself "It's all about expectation" and expecting to actually be able to go through the wall, I did, entering a long, dark, scary hallway. I reached for my flashlight, wondering if I even had my duty belt on. I shined my flashlight through the hallway, illuminating the way with a realistic beam. I covered the flashlight halfway, in case there was something on the other side of the hallway that could see the beam.
Eventually, I came upon a large, empty office room on a high building, with windows that allowed me to see out into the other tall buildings in the city. Looking around, I saw a desk, couch, bookshelf, old TV, and some paperwork. I knew it had to represent something so I yelled out "What does this represent!?" and pointing at the TV, implying that it would turn on and tell me my answer. Instead, the TV turned on and showed a channel with weak signal and static. There was a bag full of money but on the straps holding the money, there were notes that would read in order. The notes were from many different people and I knew one of them was personally from my subconscious, I saw another one that said it was from my pastor. The one from my subconscious stated something about when I was younger. I started worrying about remembering everything when I woke up but kept reading. I saw a map with a list of places but the only one I could remember was 'Rake's, OH' before waking up.

I was hanging out with my brother and I decided to go to my Father room. I see my Father and Mother both lying down. I grab my hoodie and went in to the living room. My brother and I began to talk. I told my brother there's this feeling that has been getting more apparent these pass months. It seems to be growing a lot more and I don't really know what to do. My brother ask me try to describe it? I told him it's like a lot of paranoia, I'm not sure who I am anymore or if there's any control over it. That's when things got extremely bright in the dream environment. My brother told me the paranoia was probably just me trying to find a way to myself. I began telling my brother this light is effecting me. How do I stop it, is this a dream? as I begin to feel a lot of pain. However my brother said nothing and only stare at me with unusual blue eyes while it takes over. I began to feel really electrifying while becoming lucid and this feeling as if something was coming out. I tried to turn off the lights but it would keep coming on by themselves. That's when I lost it and lost all my lucidity. However I didn't find myself in till 15 seconds later vibrations, too many vibrations and it was too intense to handle. I literally was thrown out of my physical body and as I pop out I was wondering why this was happening. I look at the television black screen and realize my astral body was me at the age of 7-5 and I was bald. I felt so light and floatable and leaving my body felt like crashing sounds of water. I still felt like I was hearing water pounding somewhere. I then realize one of my goals for why I always wanted to have an OBE. I wanted to prove to my brother it exist so I can report all the things he does that I could not possibly have known if I were not there around him all the time. I phase through the door and was in the living room. I then ran up or sort of hover to the next stairs. That's when I try to phase in to the door but could not anymore. I tried again but my heart was beginning to pound harder and a lot slower. My head felt incredibly tingly and I started feeling sick and cold. Then the OBE experience ended and I got in to a dream. I open my eyes to see a man pulling a door out of mother room. I look at him as he leaves and walks down stairs. I was already lucid again and then another strange feeling happen to me again and I started to pop out of my DC's body and started flying but it felt like someone else was controlling me as I glided through the air to this constructive broken building. I landed down and just look at the sky. I could tell it was the afternoon judging from the sky appearance. Then this kid riding his bike stop near me and ask a question, who lives up there? I look at him and yelled hey! I ask him could he hear me? I yelled hey two more times but he seem like he could not hear or see me. I decided to give up and enter the building. I flew up the stairs and tried to get to the main door. I had this strong urge like I was meant to be here at this very moment. That's when a man called out to me saying I have to leave.

Before I had the chance to say can he see me? I instantly knew this building was about to blow up. I flew and grab him while we both hid in the back corner as it all collapse on itself. That's when the man said thanks and I decided to phase through the wall and fly off in to the now grey rainy sky. My head felt so amazing, I couldn't help but feel like moving a lot. Finally I had the time to think for myself and enjoy flying. I was happy, I finally had my first OBE experience as I spun around in the LD. After 4 minutes of being in the sky my body began to once again feel this feeling I had no words to describe and then everything went pitch black. It's like I am dying, that's when I see myself lucid falling and falling in this place completely shrouded in clouds. Finally after a minute of falling it stop and I began to have wings for some reason on my back and began lifting up slowly. Why is this happening I said again? After three or two minutes of floating up I drop down so incredibly fast, I started to see fire and heard screams. The drop felt so intense I lost consciousness. As I finally began to regain awareness I found myself tied up in a chair. I could tell I was in the living room however all the lights were off and this feeling again was present. I became lucid due to it and started asking when am I going to wake up? Then this voice said did I deserve it? I ask what's going on? This beast came out from the shadows and told me for me the pass weeks I have done horrible things to people. I analyze it and to me it looks like satan. I ask why bring that up? It ignores this and ask me why am I full of hate? I told it who ever said I had hatred? It begins by telling me it knows how my mind works. It tells me from knowing me I hate every single person on the planet. I laugh and said are you kidding me? I am talking to some random satan, I am lock in my own dream and have to deal with this? I don't have to justify my actions, why don't you take these ropes off me and fight so I can kill you and leave this place already. The suppose satan became angry as he summons this disfigure creature approach me and began punching me in the face constantly. While I was getting beat up the satan look at me and left. This damn creature was not going to stop punching me and eventually I black out and lost consciousness. I eventually then found myself in the garage, the lights were on and I felt a little easy now as if I had more control now. I see two people that are dead and I place both of them on a stand and left them there. I became lucid again and saw a lot of huge dolls place all over the garage. I look at them as I tried to count how many were there. That's when my finger hit this girl on her forehead and I quickly realize she was no doll. She seem frighten, that's when my consciousness became dizzy and I began to leave the dream. I found myself once again cover in darkness as I tried to find a way out. That's when I finally felt a sense of a physical part in the darkness. They were my eyes, I tried to open them and after some effort I manage open them as it strives to make me lose the sense of them. But I gain consciousness again was awake this time. Lucidity Time: 51 minutes

Ritual: Second try with the vibrating timer, successful but strange experience. This time it seemed to work not so much from going off (in fact I doubt it ever did), but because my anticipation of the trigger kept my mind alert during the process of falling asleep—to the point where I thought I was still awake long after I had evidently slipped into dream.

It's becoming apparent that anticipation can serve the same function as motivation. Actually my motivation was relatively low, for the same reason as last time: it is the busiest part of my work week and I realized that I wasn't sure I wanted to have to spend a long time writing up my dream report if successful. I went to bed a little after 12:30am, and woke up naturally around 5:40. (I checked the clock but can't recall the precise time, I think it was somewhere between 5:37 and 5:43.) I decided it was too late to do full WBTB and recognized my lack of motivation, so I just shoved the MotivAider in my pillow and went back to bed with no further technique, letting things take their own course.

Although normally I would fall back asleep in seconds or minutes at most after such a brief WBTB, I noticed that now I was oddly wakeful... it seemed like just waiting for the device to go off, even though it was set so that it wouldn't trigger initially until 45 minutes had passed, was keeping me awake. After a few minutes trying to get comfortable I grabbed the sleep mask from my bedside table because I knew the sun would come up soon. I then spent a very long time trying to get back to sleep... or so I thought. In retrospect it is apparent that for much of this period I was experiencing that obscure counterpart of a false awakening, a "false falling asleep" (FFA).

FFA: I think I must have actually fallen asleep very quickly, since a lot of the things I experienced while I thought I was trying to fall asleep turn out to be have been things I dreamed. For instance, at one point I was convinced that I was lying in bed with my body rotated in the opposite direction, my head facing the foot of the bed, but then I fixed this without really moving my limbs... a maneuver that would have been impossible to do physically.

Eventually I decided that I ought to have a back-up EILD method so I tried to program my sleeping mask. I reached up and pried apart the velcro near the top to flick the "on" switch, remembering to hold it down four seconds to enter "nap mode." I couldn't tell if I saw the indicator lights or not... I thought I did, but the impression was vague. Did I have the brightness set too low? Oh well, I don't remember how to change it. I'll just turn it off and turn it back on again to be sure. Hmm, same thing, the lights are vague... I'm not sure if I'm really seeing them or just imagining it. And then I realize... hang on... I'm not even wearing the Remee, this is just an ordinary cloth sleep mask! So I tried to correct the situation by putting my Remee on under the regular mask... and I really thought I had done this until, while writing this report, I began to have doubts and went to check. Sure enough, the Remee hasn't been touched all night! At least I can verify that I was wearing the ordinary mask, since that one has been moved and is now lying on my bedstand where I must have left it after waking up.

At another point in the FFA I even felt the MotivAider finally go off. The vibrations felt lengthened and distorted again. I ignored them since I thought I was still awake, and hoped I would be asleep by the time it went off next. In retrospect I realize I must have dreamed even this, because the MotivAider could not have gone off until 45 minutes had passed (even on random mode it initially counts down the full maximum set interval), and I got up to start writing this report at 6:14am, less than 45 minutes after going back to bed around 5:40... so it is very unlikely that it actually went off in that whole period!

I was getting annoyed with how long it was taking (or so I thought) to fall asleep, and eventually in my impatience I decided to just start "practicing" WILD separations in my imagination. I tried to envision an almost physical pull on my dream body that would tug it up from the lying position into a standing one, and after each repetition of this I imagined myself landing with both feet on the bed with the flourish of a gymnast who has just finished an acrobatic move. It felt at first like I was only visualizing this rather than experiencing it: as though I were just going through the motions, practicing for when I got closer to falling asleep... but before long the sense of immersion set in, and I realized that I was already in a light WILD state. I was surprised that I had been able to move so easily from full wakefulness to full REM, still unaware that I had evidently already been dreaming for quite some time already!

WILD: Since I was under the impression that I had only just transitioned into a dream state, my initial goal was just to improve immersion and stabilization, so without trying to do any tasks at first I simply wandered through the house. I soon half-woke and had to separate again. I used the same visualization as before "pulling myself up" from lying down to standing up, but it went more smoothly and easily this time. Once again I landed like a gymnast, but this time rather than landing on the bed I vaulted right out of it and onto the bedroom floor.

By this time I felt immersed enough to start working on tasks. One of the TOTMs is to dress in a costume, and I had decided in advance that I wanted to dress like a witch, so I went to the "costume closet" where I keep my clothes that are too dressy or impractical for everyday use. At first I was surprised to see (so I thought) nothing but the clothes that are there in waking life. I must have been a bit confused, because although in WL the closet contains plenty of gothy-looking wraps and dresses entirely suitable for a witch costume, the only thing I thought to grab at the time was a small halter top of some colorful iridescent material. I didn't put it on yet, since my priority was to find a mask.

The closet actually contains a box of masks on the upper shelf, but in the dream I "remembered" that I had a brown paper bag of them on the floor, so I went through it until I found a witch mask... or was it? Looking at it again, I thought it actually looked more like a Darth Vader mask that someone had clumsily tried to convert into a witch face with dabs of green paint. But then I "remembered" using it as a witch mask before, so I figured it would be adequate.

Next I needed the pointy hat. I must have one around here somewhere... I dug through the closet, but couldn't find one of the right shape. Nevermind, I can make one! I pulled out a fedora made of black leather, and started trying to pull the top to make it longer and more pointy. At first the material was resistant but I put some focus into the act and soon was able to mold the hat into a proper Halloween-style witch hat, and put it on my head. The fact that it was made of black leather made me feel extra stylish. I paused at the door of the room and wondered if I needed to change my clothes as well, but when I looked down I saw that I was wearing a long black dress that already looked witchy enough, so I never had to put on that stupid halter top!

After walking back out to the kitchen, I remembered to check my reflection in the mirror (in a spot where there is no mirror in WL). It wasn't bad! I looked like that classic witch from the Wizard of Oz: green face, hooked nose, tall hat. The mask was looking much less Vader-like now, and at this point I noticed that there was even an inscription on it (entirely legible in the mirror rather than inverted by the reflection) that gave the title "Witch," and was signed either "Robert" or "Richard." I assumed the name must be that of the local artist who made the mask, and was reassured by the title that it had been intended as a witch mask after all.

When people were contributing suggestions for the October TOTMs, I had really liked the one about flying on a broomstick to a witches' gathering, so this was something I had planned to do once I got in costume. But now I wasn't sure. Maybe it would be fun to work on my lucid dare instead, and go startle some elves with my witch costume! I felt indecisive. And in either case I'll have to leave the house, so which door should I use? I've let myself get into the bad habit of being paranoid that leaving the house might destabilize the dream, so I wondered if leaving by a door I don't often use would help bypass this impression. I know that this worry is a wholly self-imposed obstacle—and moreover that it is not supported by the evidence—yet I also know that even letting myself worry about destabilization can have a destabilizing effect!

While I'm standing there trying to make up my mind, I notice that the scenery outside the kitchen door has already begun to change. Replacing the back patio is now a beautiful summer forest, with green leaves, mossy trunks and a clear limpid pool of water on the ground, like a natural spring. The water is only a few inches deep and appears completely transparent and pure. The scene is so lovely that I immediately let go of my pointless worries and go outside to enjoy it, kneeling in the water and running my hands through it, lifting it in my palms and letting it splash back into the pool. I find myself wondering if these surroundings will transform my costume from that of an ugly old green witch into a young beautiful forest witch. And what do we mean by "witch," anyway? I start pondering the question: aren't those two archetypes (ugly old witch and young beautiful witch) from the same tradition? Don't they both imply a woman with an unusually strong connection to the natural world?

I still haven't decided if I want to look for a witch gathering or an elven gathering in this forest, as I think both could conceivably be taking place here. Would the elves resent my presence if I'm still a Halloween-style witch? But if this pool has transformed me into a beautiful forest witch, maybe I would blend right in. (I regret now that it never occurred to me to check my reflection again in the pool! Though I still had the impression that I was wearing the same black dress.)

Once again the dream distracted me from my thoughts, this time by the sound of a voice singing. It was an attractive male voice, a low tenor, drifting from somewhere up above. The pool where I knelt was at the foot of a rocky ledge, at least ten feet high, and it seemed like the main part of the forest was up there. I flew up (I can't recall if I used a broomstick or just levitated as usual) to see if I could locate the singer. I followed the voice and soon found myself in a green mossy glade. I could not see anyone but I could hear the voice distinctly, so I took note of the words:

On the new sensation lying within,
One can ride a stream of water, straight and thin.

There was another half line of verse after this but on waking it faded before I could record it. I think it had something to do with the feeling or awareness produced by the "new sensation" mentioned in the first line. I woke up before I could listen to any more of the song or continue to look for the singer.

Note: It was still very early after I finished writing all my notes, so I went back to bed. I had some NLDs and at one point as I was starting to wake up from one I found myself thinking about the song again. At this time I got the impression that the missing line might have been: And so a new feeling is won. Of course there's no way to confirm if that's what it was originally, but it's the best I've got to go on!

I was in a car with a friend she was going to New York with a group and I had a journal from the same group from a different event and I realized I was dreaming when I saw Pittsburgh and I wanted to get out of the car I told her it was just a dream and then she disapeared and I was in the car alone it was moving forward on its own with no one driving it. I reached for the wheel and tried to drive. Then I was out of the car holding onto the reins of a dog and I saw a road that I thought led home it didn't though. Then I realized I didn't lock the car and I tried to go back half forgetting that it was a dream and the dog wouldn't cooperate and I couldn't let go of the dog and it was dark outside it was night. It was a long country road.