non-lucid

The bus stops in front of my stop. I enter it behind somebody and they stop and talk to the bus driver. He then hands her some change and she then hands him a game. I then get fully on the bus and I hand her some money and she hands me back a game. I sit down in the first seat and place my back against the window. I place the game into the PSP cartridge and turn it on.

I am in a mansion and I am going around talking to my "parents." It is a 2d adventure with some 3d aspects. I then go to bed and when I wake up I am looking through the view of my character. I head out into the main hall and find it a mess with chairs and table on the ground. There are also three notes from my "parents" scattered about. They all seem to talk about a girl under attack in the woods and that there are three paths and that I have to take to middle path to find and rescue her.

This is all I remember though I may have a image of me looking down the three paths.

Recall isn't that good, had an Organic Chemistry Lab, it went pretty well, took up most of the class time, since it was basic TLC paper. I was lucky to use the Ethyl Acetate as a solvent, since Hexane and other liquids used sucked for my two partners.

Maybe I should take a nap, since I only had 2-3 hours of sleep.

10.15.2012

Framing Someone (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

All I remember is framing someone before they could frame me. Then the dream shifts where I'm trying to dance like Michael Jackson, even doing grunts and sounds.

Then the real one appears, opens his eyes as he lifts his body off the wall to my left. He has his Black hat and Black glittering jacket with a white shirt underneath, along with long black pants and shoes.

_________________________

10.15.2012

Negative Father (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

My father says something to me, but whatever it was, it makes me feel pissed. I get mad enough where I wanted to tell him off, and he leaves.

Man, it must've been some serious stuff too, and I can't recall what I said to him, just muffled sounds.

It's been a while since I had a dream where I was REALLY pissed at my father....

*shrugs*

_________________________

10.15.2012

Bacteria (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I think I'm in a library, and there's a huge bowl at what seems to be the information center of the building. There's two on top on each other, and there's light brown stuff accumulating inside of it.

The bowls were a transparent faded yellow color, and I realized that it was Bacteria forming inside. I also noticed my AP English Teacher from the Second High school I attended when I moved is there.

The flooring was green carpet, and the lighting is the same orange-lighting that I see a lot in previous dreams, it kind of augments the hazy or somewhat blurry atmosphere. My teacher looks at me, and I think I'm communicating with her, but I can't remember what.

I think the Bacteria was associated to a conversation with someone talking about a Virus.

Morning of October 15, 2012. Monday.



In my dream, I am lying in our bed and I am concerned about the garbage truck being too close to our house as well as being perpendicular to the street itself. At one point, it seems backed up almost to our bedroom window. The scenario repeats several times in a row. I look out and see that the robotic arm is much longer than in reality and somehow towers very high into the air (emergent consciousness rendering). It appears to be holding a larger commercial bin (which looks a lot smaller due to its supposed distance from my perspective). It is almost dizzying to consider such a high position. Nothing threatening happens (such as our house or window being damaged or the larger pieces of rubbish falling out near our house, as it almost seems might happen) but I continue to have a vague concern without being directly angry.

---

Anyone who understands the basic meanings of dreams (excluding personal associations with unique details and features which only the dreamer could possibly understand) will easily pick out the waking transition here. “Something coming down” (representing the waking process) in this case is the robotic arm of the garbage truck (robotic as a dream sign that renders the “artificial” perspective of the dream state) as well as implied falling debris. As most people would know, garbage or junk in a dream represents “unwanted data”, that is, ideas or thoughts that have proven to be without real long-term use (including other people’s negative ideas).

Even though this is a very basic waking transition, it is quite different than other types, say one that utilize an airplane landing, a meteor falling, or a bird landing, all with the same primary meaning but with different implications. This dream was likely a “repeat” (in metaphor) of reading more than my share of garbage on this date. The garbage truck itself represents the linear “cleanup” of recent thinking processes. Something being “too close” to one’s house relates to the liminal energies regarding circadian rhythms and full waking. Of course, being in bed in the dream state is the most obvious dream sign of all and the most obvious metaphor for sleeping and dreaming (yet I do not become lucid).

I had some dreams last night, but only the last one is important to me.

I was at a parking lot and this sort of old woman wanted help to park her car. It was HUGE, though, so I told her I couldn't help her, but I offered my dad. He also said he couldn't help her. We waited with her as the lady who worked at the parking lot went there and helped her. As we were waiting, the lady was parking another car and she was good, but she drove too fast. The owner of the car she had just parked got mad, told the lady to get out of her car and said that she'd sue the place.

Then, I was at an office and it felt a little like I was watching a TV show. There was this guy and this girl there, and the girl was the one who had said she'd sue the parking lot. The guy had been there with her, saying "yeah, we'll sue you!", and I didn't like them. So when the guy sat down next to another guy, I got up, went to the other guy and asked him if he was friends with the guy I hadn't liked. He chuckled and said "you could say that", so I got confused if he was the writer of the show or if they were boyfriends in real life or if it was both. So I just told him his friend wasn't funny at all, he was just pathetic, and I left.

As I was leaving, the girl was leaving too and I teased her because of the whole "I'll sue you!" thing. She wasn't amused, but she asked me if I wanted to have lunch with her. I went with her, we went with my car and she told which parking lot she liked. Then she took me to this cool, different restaurant. I was having fun, driving and walking around with her and, before I knew, I was kind of hitting on her. She seemed to like me, though, so I kept going, until I called her "my love". I obviously didn't mean it, but she sort of freaked out and she told me that she had dated for twelve years, back when she was fifteen in 1994 (and that didn't make any sense, because 1994+12=2006, so she had had six years to get over it, but...) and then she reminded me she's older than I am, which she didn't have to, cause she had just said she was fifteen in 1994, and I know I was just four back then. Anyway, I kissed her and told her I was sorry I had said anything about love, then I suggested we just enjoyed ourselves. She was okay with that, she kissed me too and soon we were talking, laughing, kissing and choosing our food.

When it was time to pay, we shared the bill and she was like "let's take something back to the office!", I agreed. As I was waiting for her at the table, two girls I went to high school with showed up. They looked down and I realised they knew the girl and that she had left. I got really upset and they gave me my part of the bill. I said no, that if they gave the money back to her, she'd know how much she had hurt me and that would hurt her instead (dream logic is insane!), so I left, went to the parking lot and freaked out a little when I found out it had been R$70 to leave the car there. Still, I paid and asked the guy who worked there if the key was in the car. He said he didn't know and I woke up.

The sad thing is that I really had a good time with that girl. I wish that 1) she hadn't left and 2) she were real.

I spent a good deal of time figuring out that everyone is connected some sort of way. I can't explain what went down because of the recall and the fact that it was more or a feeling than anything....but towards the end, I was practicing Wing Chung with a strong DC. Just attacking, anticipating, and countering. I was getting better as it progressed, but he told me I needed to hit harder. Instead of directly hitting harder, I started attacking pressure points. The guy finally let out a ridiculous "YEEOuch!".

I have a friend whose dad shut off the Internet at her house, so she only has Internet access when she's at her mom's house. She went back to her dad's house yesterday. Anyway, I had a dream last night that I was on tumblr and saw a post she made saying that her dad turned the Internet back on again. I woke up disappointed because it was only a dream (we mainly only see each other online because we live a couple hours apart).

I went back to sleep and had a dream that I had to look after a few pets for my friend Giana (even though they aren't her pets IWL). I had to look after five various rodents (a hamster, two very tiny chinchillas, and two jerboas. They were kept in a big cage, which I was keeping in my room. The problem was that they kept escaping from the cage; they managed to squeeze through the bars and out of the cage pretty easily. The chinchillas (which were roughly the same size as the hamster and jerboas, as opposed to actual chinchilla size) especially liked to escape. One of them even tried to bite my thumb when I carried it back to its cage (again); it was kind of uncomfortable, but it didn't hurt.

In another dream, I had to select a "teacher". I chose Kayleigh, my tulpa. She started throwing dodgeballs at me, and I didn't know why, so she told me she was doing it because I had to learn that nothing could hurt me because I was dreaming and that I shouldn't be afraid in dreams. I guess I was supposed to take that advice and make myself believe that, though I still didn't really get what was going on. The dream felt rather vague when I woke up, too.

I know she was only trying to help me improve my dream control, but I don't think I really learned anything from that "lesson". It does seem like something she would do, though...

New Student (6:56)

Natalie Tran is in my math class. It's a little bit surreal, because she's trying to pretend like nobody knows who she is. And maybe nobody does except me. During a class presentation, she tells us about a video she made that's relevant to the topic, and we should watch it sometime if we want to. Maybe she is after more subscribers after all.

Frags:

• heard "The Open Prairie" theme from Copland's "Billy the Kid" suite; told someone near me how good I think it is
• watching a documentary on character development in TV shows; one particular show they point out as a good example
• choosing a rehearsal order for our string quartet
• my two youngest sisters are being noisy while I try to fall asleep in the next room

Dream - Lucid

I was in what seemed to be high school choir again, on what seemed to be an island, though there were many other islands around too. It was covered in short, bright green grass, and some grey rocks. It was daytime, and the sky was clear and blue.

We were rehearsing for the variety show on this island. My choir teacher was showing us the choreography she wanted us to learn for the show; we were all grouped up, and she was in front of us. She did some jumps and dance moves, but she went over it all very quickly.

We then were left to practice on our own. We all gathered in a circle around the edges of the island, and we started to do the routine. There was then a full-sized T-Rex in the middle of the island, but it was one of the students; his part in the show was being a T-Rex. It scared me at first, but we all ran around his feet and repositioned; it was all just part of the show. He then turned into Godzilla, and was much more threatening that way. Again, it was part of the show. I feel like we ran through this sequence a few times. I found myself trying to go over the choreography in my head, remembering one move after the other.

I then figured out I was playing the part of a saber-toothed tiger, though, unlike T-Rex boy, I didn't transform, but I was merely acting like a cat, or, I guess how I would imagine a saber-toothed tiger would act. I was also supposed to be the T-Rex's girlfriend as the saber-toothed tiger. Alright then, I could do that. I got down on my hands and knees, and walked around. I went over to some edge away from everyone else, sat down, and meowed. I was trying to play the part well. I thought about myself acting, making facial expressions to match the mood of the show.

We then went back to the beginning of the show to rehearse some more. I now wasn't quite sure where I was supposed to be. The T-Rex guy said I needed to stick by him, but I got in the circle around the edges of the island again anyway. I had a feeling I had taken someone's space, though I didn't think we had assigned spaces yet. Oh whatever. I wondered if there were any solos in the piece of music we were doing.

I then remember being atop a ledge on the island, overlooking the circular part, with T-Rex guy. We walked around a bit, I remember us being in a small cave for a little while. He was telling me he liked being Godzilla better than the T-Rex. He started to remind me of my IWL pen pal, Gabriel.

I was then running back onto the circular part of the island with everyone else. I remember running over some light grey rock, and thinking about how exciting it was to be back in choir and performing.

These are parts of a non lcid dream of mine which occured before my successful WILD attempt I'll write about later. My recall has been so poor lately after I stopped keeping a DJ, but I'll try to fix that from now on.

Anyway, I was sometime in my dream arguing with my mother about something really loud and I can't remember what it was. Aaaand thats it, then there is a....


[Dream Skip]



Then I find myself with a friend, could be a momentary DC, but it seemed like a friend in my dream. Watching videos in the net in front of my computer and we see look at some titles and he says "Look, there's a good one! This guy is trying to prank a woman nad he dies by accident!" and I was like, how could that happen? And then I said "cool, let's watch it".


So there is a video where a man meets a woman he knows, not a random one, in a field of grass for no apparent in front of a big city, like New York, and says to her things like "Hey there, what's up? How are you lately?" and she regularly answers, until she pulls out a cigarrete to smoke and lights it up. Then it may be the part where the prank began and I was curious to see how he died, so he pulls the cigarette from her mouth and then my WBTB alarm goes off, 4:00 am. Time to WILD. Believe me or not, this is how it happened, I was too curious to find out what the hell happened in the imaginary video, but my alarm screwed me up. Anyways, it had a purpose!

brb with my WILD post

[Sunday, October 14th, 2012]
<later in the day, I take a nap>
<dream is foggy, I forget to write this down and it vanishes>

I remember summoning a 18-wheeler to come pick me up and bring me somewhere. We were on V.M. road and heading north, and as we passed the train tracks and took the bend to the left- we came to an obstacle. There was a giant wall in the road. I turned around and did something to a giant rock behind me. A triangle with an eye appeared and the triangle began to spin around the eye. It glowed a thick white light and shot out a beam of light towards the wall. The wall glowed with white veins and the wall opened.

(Everything resembled futuristic, alien technology- and it was pretty neat to watch.)

[Sunday, October 14th, 2012]
(Around 3AM and I wake up and remember quite a bit. I've been sleeping for along time. A LONG TIME.)


<dream had more before this, but this is where I started to remember>
I remember being ontop of a building's roof with a few other people. There is a small lake between me and the rest of the land. In the small beige-mud lake, there is debris everywhere and people scattered through out. Whenever I come close to the edge of the roof, a giant tenticle shoots out of the mud and tries to hit me. I hit it with a weapon before it sinks back down. Eventually, it becomes like WoW... when the tenticle pop's back up- I command the rest of my "raid" group to attack, and all of the people drowning in the mud all leap out and attack the tenticle. I begin to shoot it with some kind of range attack as this is happening. It sinks back one more time before I lure it back up for a final attack. We did it! Everyone is teleported to the dry land. There's a neat looking Mage Staff with a star at the end of it for loot. A few people "roll" for it- in a new way that I don't recognize. I leap from piece of debris to debris all the way across the swamp and as I'm climbing up a small hill to get to the land, I realize that I'm a low level but also the leader of the group. I walk up to the loot on the ground and try to right click on it, but nothing happens. I try to ask how to roll, but I'm teleported to Stormwind or some other city in real life before I have a chance.

In this other city, I try talking to the Raid but realize I've left the group and that it was a Guild group- that I can't talk to since I'm not in it now.

+

I'm leaving town to go up Yarnell hill with my Mom and maybe Casey/Nathan. We're on our way up the hill, and we must have been walking. We walk up the hill faster than usual and we notice that some parts of the railing going up the hill have been smashed and damaged. There've been reports of someone vandalising the rails. We make our way up the hill and we find a cave. It's a giant cave temple- that I tell my Mom is a "Shaman Training Temple" inside, we see people who look like WoW characters all standing around, as if they're really Shaman Trainers or people to buy things from or Questgivers. We walk up to the middle of the giant cave/room and one of us talks to a questgiver. One of the quest involves stopping the man from damaging the rails, apparently its Virgil from McDonald's management.

We leave and start walking up Yarnell hill more. Now I'm not with my Mom or Casey anymore, it's Nathan and Tyler. After awhile, we become thristier than ever and have to stop at a random convenience store. Inside, I grab a cup and fill it with a little ice and water. Its not enough ice though, so I hold the cup against the icemachine more and I notice how I can fill the cup up with ice without the water overflowing. I turn around and see a few kids I know selling some new drink ideas. (There was a peanut butter & honey snack- and there was a "Honey-Fizz" drink, as I'd like to call it, was handed to me. It was a dark yellow bottle of "Honey"-flavored soda. I opened it and downed it quick. It was AMAZING. It was one of the best drinks I've ever had. I made this known to everyone around me. After awhile of talking to Tyler and Nathan about this, I wake up.
<woke up>

[Thursday, October 11th, 2012]

<The night before this, Alex had told me how she felt about me... she popped the question, "Why are we together?" a few times and after she left, it felt like the end of the world. She was definitely going to leave me... I was angry and sad at the same time. Why is she so unfair with me? Demanding things of me, but when I ask for the same, she tells me I will never understand. She must love to drill me further into the ground. Even now as I type this, I can't help feeling a helpless feeling... a bitter disgust for the Alex that night, that lectured me like a child and let me know I was a horrible boyfriend. My heart sank 3 times smaller that night. I sat in my bed and sobbed for hours and screamed into my pillow, trying to stop my heart from hurting. I thought about hurting myself physically, I thought about leaving her before she could leave me. I even left a few scars on my mind. I finally calmed down after talking to her on the phone... she made me laugh... while I was going to get cigarettes, but I still felt miserable as I lied down to go to bed.>

(Before I fell asleep, being as horrible anxious and depressed and emotional as I was... I told my subconscious to just give me whatever dream it thought I needed to see. "Go ahead. Throw anything I need to see at me. But make me lucid. I need to be lucid!" I fall asleep.)

(Hours later, I have my first dream that I remember...)

I walk out of a motel room with Alex beside me and we look around. Some kind of festival was occuring all around us. People are walking around in all directions, mostly heading for a particular carnival ground. Some are in costume, some are stark naked. We walk around for a bit and decide to head back to where we came from, to change our appearence. I decide I wanted to either be stark naked too, or cross-dress. Back at the motel room, I skim through my options in clothes, and notice I suddenly have a lot of female clothes in my closet as well as male ones. Alex isn't with me anymore though. So I walk back outside and wander around some more- still with the urge to rip off all of my clothes.

Glancing around at people more, I notice that I know quite a lot of people here- no family members, but people from my town that I know are very common here. Suddenly, I see some people walking towards Bashas'. Apparently, Bashas' is allowing our festival to take as much food as we want to bring back for a feast. I follow the small crowd to Bashas'. Outside, I wait for an employee to unlock the doors... and we head in with shopping carts. We start tossing in random items, from meats to snacks to candy to cheeses to drinks. The second cart starts filling up with purely meat, and I warn them not to overdo it on meat.

<dream skips>

We're back at the festival. I grab a flyer from the ground and it shows my whole family is performing. Tim Z****, Bob Z****, and a few other Z****'s that I've never heard of. I realize that I can't cross-dress or go stark naked because they're here and I don't want them to think bad of me. I see Zack and Alex together and I walk up to them. Zack and me are friendly like we used to be.

<HOLE IN MEMORY> My Dad was involved with this memory, as were Alex and Zack. We were gathering something off the dirt street, there were lots of them... we were in the old west and my Dad was standing next to an old wagon. <memory skips>

We're now in the middle of a cardboard-like city. The buildings are close together and flat and textureless like a cheap old video game using 3D models of a wall and a cheap texture stretched across the surface. It's like a type of maze here with buildings painted on the walls. The structures do however tower into the sky like normal. I'm still with Alex and Zack. We're doing something <HOLE IN MEMORY> when me and Alex seperate from Zack. The grey sky becomes covered in clouds the color of charcoal. They become the darkest black imaginable. Me and Alex look at each other and instantly begin to run down the street, searching for shelter. I see Zack behind us walking some other direction, almost as if he's unaware. He turns a corner and I lose sight of him. I keep running the other way.

We arrive inside of a dark building to wait out the storm. Rain begins to POUR and we wait there for hours. When it finally stops, we go outside, and color is returning to the sky. The sun peaks out from behind the clouds, but the world is still a dull grey tone.

We walk back to where our motel was and I find where my car is parked. We hop in and begin to drive. She wants to find Zack... she's worried sick about him. I'm depressed- We drive for a bit more and <HOLE IN MEMORY> I park in the Circle K with pumps, and do a horrible job. I try to re-align my park job a few times before I give up and decide its okay how I parked. Alex walks up to me and starts yelling at me about some unknown thing and asks me why I left her somewhere. I tried to explain I didn't leave her anywhere... but it's no use. We both hop in the car however and drive off towards the direction of McDonalds. "Please, we have to find Zack. I'm worried about him." I keep driving.

Suddenly, we're in a Fun-House of Mirrors, sitting inside a track-ride. We slowly turn a corner and see Zack lying down. The car stops and Alex gets out and runs to Zack and gives him a long hug. She lets go and kisses Zack on the lips. I blink my eyes and see that Zack has his knuckle up to Alex lips. It's a gesture towards me- that Zack would have made before while he was still my friend. I watch the whole scene objectively, as if it had nothing to do with me... a movie I knew was depressing, but lacked the emotion to feel. The only thing I felt was that I was a horrible boyfriend- at that moment I remembered all of the things I had been saying throughout the dream. It was like my horrible self from waking life was invading my dreams- I had said pathetic things about Zack and that I was tired of all this shit and more. I felt horrible compared to Zack, who had just done something nice for me

<I wake up feeling like shit.>

(I still admired the intensity of the dream, and closed my eyes again and imagined being lucid during it... I repeated in my head, "It's a dream.")
================================================== =============
<I fell back into a dream.>
<It's continued with "Pedophilia in a Dark Place" after this dream.

[Wednesday, October 10th, 2012]
I remember singing "In The Company of Wolves" with Nathan and Alex.

<That's it for recall.>

(Later, I remember being inside of a strange building and outside meeting with smaller kids. There was baseball being played around me but I only remember faint impressions of it being something like a school or private school to be more exact.)

There was a group of people, i had to observe. And i should kill someone of them, which i did. After a while, a friend of mine, should kill someone to, and i met him, bevor he drove there with the drum, to tell him, that he actually should not do it. i wontet do pay his ticket as well, and as i tried to find a one euro coin i found only a two euro coin, that worried me a bit.

Then i directly observed my enemies, watched them from a hill, and thought about what to do with them, i droped my cellphone down, so the head of them would pick it up, which he did, and then i thought i would blow him of with an explosive charge built into the phone, but instead i blow his car and on the phone came a message for him.

and then there was the scenery, in which i, and two friends, a girl and a boy, had to hid from them, but they came very close too us, and in that moment i understood, that you should breathe very slowly, when you hide.

There was a nasty individual, a villain for the lack of a better word, who wanted to harness the powers of time to do tricks like clone people by sending them back and so on. I was assigned to the research of the field. There was a stone track, like a wheel, around which the subjects would travel. There were enough people to fill it, and a horse or two for some reason. They walked around and I would try and adjust the experiment and watch the effects of the phenomenon in the walking subjects, without even thinking about the morality of working for who I did. Those subjects, some would just merge or split in a flash of light, but a failure made one change out of control, a paradox creating a strange black whirl as it consumed them.