non-lucid

12.7.15

Slept through night, since I was off. Going to work tonight.

I'm at work, sitting somewhere on some boxes, having lunch, holding a bottle of beer in my hand. I realize it and trying to figure out why I don't do this more often. Then I realize I'm at work : P So I rush to hide it and I put it on a shopping cart full of crap.

I go upstairs and there are cubicles like on The West Wing. Lots of glass walls and doors. There is a former classmate there and we decide to do it. He goes to get ready to he bathroom while I start locking doors and closing shutters. One door is toally off the hinge so can't close it and there is lots of foot traffic. I know it's proly not gonna happen.

I was at a table in a department store and I wanted to put a tablecloth on the table.

My boyfriend's mom randomly showed up at the apartment. I was embarrassed and it wasn't completely cleaned. She started looking around at everything and even opened the refrigerator. I was trying to pick up some dirty clothes from the living room. She started folding blankets and wanted to put them in the dresser and I had to open each drawer to show her there was no room. She showed me a picture of a random boy and said me and my boyfriend can have kids together; they will be pretty. Me and my boyfriend looked out the window while his mom was doing more nosing around the apartment.

I was wondering what time it was because I had to go to class.

WBTB (gentle return to breath when I realized attention had wandered, fell asleep at some point and became lucid)
I don't really remember how it started but I was flying all over the place and I was having a tough time staying very far away from the ground for some reason. I would let go and just be free for a minute and then I would soar, I would actually feel like I was climbing up into the sky. Then I would become afraid of losing it or I would become afraid of falling and I would. there was a couple different times I was coating like I was on a long board then I would keel over and wipe out. I became relaxed at one point like I could stay in the lucid forever, I wasn't worried about it ending and it really brought some peace and stability to it, I became very aware at that point ( like the headspace difference between having coffee one day and not having it sort of feeling)

(non lucid) I also had a dream I was in a restaurant and I worked a whole shift during the dream, I don't remember a lot of it other then it was ending in the same spot it started and someone had asked me when my birthday was and I had told them feb 10th and it was the date feb 10th and they said happy birthday but I hadn't even realized it was my b-day until it had come up in convo then someone noticed the date. I also got a hernia or something working out there? it was a black and bruised spot where dads had been when he got one

Left it too late to remember much again. My dreams last night were exciting....

I was trying to escape something and not be caught, it wasn't frightening but quite exciting. I remember running up and down a stairwell, then along corridors. I think I was plotting something. I went downstairs to a friend's office on the first floor and we lowered each other out of the window. There was much more to this dream that I remembered when I woke, now forgotten.

I can't remember if it was the same dream but there was someone talking to a crowd in a large enclosed arena. my friend showed me a time altering device that we could throw somewhere and it would speed up or slow down time. We threw it at the speaker and he started talking very fast whilst we escaped.

I had troubles falling asleep again. I was awake until at least 01:30 and woke up around 07:30 I believe. Bless the man who invented the snooze button. I'm starting this DJ at 08:35.

Shitty dream
I'm in a lecture hall it seems. It's quite crowded. My best friend is seated on a chair all the way to the left and I'm seated right next to her. A few rows in front of us a woman is seated who I went out with once. She is seated next to a handsome guy I believe. My friend wants to sit next to that guy, so she starts talking about switching seats. Which will mean that I'll be sitting next to the woman. No! I really don't want to. I'm not sure if she actually pushed through with her plan.

It seems a bit of a different location, but still inside a building. It is less crowded now. The woman is seated at a high table with her female friend. I come up to their table for a moment to grab my backpack. I also hold perhaps 6 tennisballs in a see through plastic bag in my hand. I walk away towards the exit. Behind me I can hear the woman say to her friend that she wonders if I play tennis. I think at this point I'm not really looking out of my own eyes, but can see myself. I stop and decide to turn back and show them that I juggle. I feel like showing off a little bit instead of just answering the question. I do it poorly though.

I'm standing near a bathroom it seems. I am looking at myself in the mirror before I go 'outside' to the room where the woman is.

MILD attempt before sleepgnome

Na

12.06.15

I worked yesterday, had night off today and tomorrow

I'm told that I can move to an island off of Sweden. It's a manmade island made of wood. I'm under water, coming up to surface. There is lots of seaweed and light is filtered by them. I'm only few feet under the surface. I'm watching the bubbles rise, how the seaweed is moving with the waves and some sea slug on a large leaf. I'm amazed. I come up and see a large rectangular island that looks like a pontoon.

Next I'm on the island and i feel sand under my feet. It's hard to believe that it's all on wood, because sand seems to be deep.

Someone needs to poop, so they squat behind some drift wood. They cover it with showel and sand. I wonder if someone makes a hole next to it and they showel sand on it, if they uncover the old poop 0_0.

The other dreams I had today were too personal to share, but this one was neat:

So, I'm pretty sure that I was in the dream version of my university, when I came across this fruit stall outside on a path/road. It had all different kinds of fruits on it, along with styrophome bowls for people to use.

There were a few people moving around the stall thing (it was a big open table kind of thing sort of. Hard to describe), and I realized that the point was for you to chop your own fruit and put it in the bowl for a kind of fruit salad thing. So it was basically a 'make your own fruit salad' booth.

I said to them that it was a great idea--much better than those stalls that sold fresh juice drinks. I think I either moved on or stopped dreaming before I tried to make my own fruit salad.

I often dream about various food stalls/places in my dream university, but this certainly was unique.

Dream 1 - The Mall (02:00)
I remember sitting at the mall thinking that I had a chance to be chosen for something. There seemed to be limited spaces (about 4) and they were selected by a god-like figure. I think the area I was sitting in was the outside courtyard in the new segment at the mall. There were some emotions of anxiety I think about whether or not I'd be selected, I knew I had a chance, but I was still nervous because I wanted to be chosen.

Dream 2 - Animal Alarms (07:00)
In the same courtyard as the previous dream I'm at a meat restaurant that me and my parents went to yesterday. My mum was to my left and my dad was in front of me (the same as the seating was in RL). We had asked someone about these animal shaped alarm clocks and they went to get someone to explain it to us. Hmm? A little girl comes up and explains everything to us, she starts listing down the different colours and shapes of animals available. I think she had to do it as like a learning thing for her school or something, but I was impressed by how she memorized so much. I only recall 2 of the different animals, the beetle and the giraffe, but there were many others. I don't think I was listening properly and zoned out when she was talking and then zoned back in when she was finished.

I think the animal alarms dream happened a bit earlier in the night but I managed to remember it when I was getting out of bed. Also my dreams seemed to be restricted to the mall, probably because I spent almost my entire day having to meet people there. I had a few beers which affected my recall too ^_^. The intensity of waking up and writing a full dream out on paper is a bit strenuous on the sleep cycle, but it seems to be working really well.

I didn't manage to get 3 dreams (it was the last night needed to complete my dream goal) so it's reset again.

6/12/15
Dream 1: I was trapped in a giant office building with a girl, being held captive by the leader. I am pretty sure we were both trying to fight against the tyrannical ruling class, so they had captures us to try and brainwash and reprogram us. After a session of this and a chat with the leader where we refused to back down, we were returned to separate rooms. We somehow orchestrated an escape, perhaps they facilitated it as a means of entertainment, who knows. Anyway, we both burst out of our rooms and starting running for the stairs. We went down a few flights of stairs, crossing a few hallways in an effort to evade our pursuers; we knew we where being watched and our attempt was likely futile. We stumbled across a large meeting/office room filled with what appeared to be game developers and such. While scanning the room I saw an elevator on the other side, our ticked outside! We dashed across and tried to use the elevator but it wasn't working, of course the leader would be controlling the elevators. In desperation though, we saw that there was a sort of master key for being able to use the elevator which involved playing Mario Kart and winning the race. We both jumped on a controller and started racing as fast as we could, knowing our pursuers were only moments behind us. Sure enough, halfway through the first lap men in dark suits started filtering through the doors on the other side of the room. They started dragging the girl away from her controller, silent and machine like, as I desperately tried to finish the race before I too was dragged away. Just as the guards were coming at me the dream ended.

Oh boy look at me being all proactive and trying to get back into the swing of things LET'S DO THIS

Dream 1: Terrorism + Mom
So I don't know why I have these dreams where I'm trying to protect my mom in life-or-death situations but it's always stressful as hell. Here we go.

I dreamed there was some maniac flying planes into buildings on something like an hourly basis, in the area where mom and I were out and about doing I-have-no-idea-what-or-why-we-were-out-there-when-there-were-planes-hitting-things-so-often-and-so-close-to-us. But anyway, we were doing stuff. And I was very much focused on the task of trying to keep mom alive. I didn't get the sense that there was much danger to myself. It was entirely an escort mission.

And that escort mission paid off when I happened to find the perpetrator, an old, somewhat emaciated white guy with a long beard. Who I then promptly drowned in the river. It was something like, I tied a rope around his neck and stuffed him in a box and idk the rope was connected to the box or something, and then I threw the box in the river and made sure it was entirely submerged, just under the surface. And then tried to forget he was actively drowning in there, because the idea was unpleasant.

But anyway, that took care of the threat to mom's life. I'm not sure what happened next, but I do recall checking back on the box and finding that yes, it was still there, and he must've been thoroughly dead by that point, so +1 to my peace of mind.

Dream 2: Hella Long Library Visit
Next I dreamed that I was driving my brother and I to the nearby library. I grabbed three-ish books and was ready to go, and then Ben was like hold on... let's chill here. And I was like oh, okay, good time to get some reading in. And then we just chilled, and idk there was a really nasty beanbag to chill in, and then later there was a bed, and at some point Jess showed up and eventually it was dark out and I realized that mom was probably worried about us. I was like, oh no, I hope she doesn't think all three of us tragically died in a car accident. I checked my phone and saw that I had a new voicemail, and I decided to just text mom that we were all good, and then she showed up at the library saying she wasn't worried and there was no need, or something.

That was the gist of the dream, but I'm pretty sure it was pretty vivid and detailed in some ways. Like, I think I remember running my finger along the library card barcode, and another bit where I was trying to scan my library card and I kept doing it wrong and having to flip the card over.

Anyway it was kinda cool. Just chillin' in a library with my siblings and reading books 'cause there's nothing else to do when you're in a library without your computer. It was an oddly realistic and chill dream.

Couldn't fall asleep again. I also was too lazy to get out of my hammock after I woke up.

Fragments
» It's night. I'm on a deserted beach with perhaps 2 friends. There are some very big rocks laying about. Not too far away is another island. It's Lombok. For some reason I'm under the impression that I'm in or close to Thailand. I think there were also 2 girls somewhere.

» The only thing I recall is someone talking to me and using the Indonesian word for 'news'.

Cousin Jesus
It's daytime and I'm standing with my cousin on bridge in some small city. We're playing around with a couple of tennis balls. A few times one of them falls into the water. One time I parkour my way down some walls to the wateredge and grab the ball out. Another time it's too far from the edge for me to grab, so I consider letting it just float to the other side so I can grab it there. My cousin does something else: he just runs across the water to grab a ball. How the hell did he do that? Or is the water so shallow that it only looks as if he's running on water? I'm considering doing it too. I can see him shaking his foot once he's standing on the grass again, cause his shoe got a bit wet.

Robe change
I'm chilling with my friend TD in a living room. We're not doing much. Just eating chips and what not. I feel like it might be getting a bit late, like 10pm. She says that we should go out to buy some more chips. I'm wondering whether she really wants to buy some chips or whether she is just trying to get me to leave.

I'm standing in the hallway at the frontdoor. TD has turned into Anggie. There's a table standing in between me and the frontdoor. The frontdoor is open and Anggie is peeking outside. She is wearing a sort of nightgown-ish dress with something over it. Suddenly it's a shirt she's wearing. She takes it off. She's just standing in her bra now and I take a quick peek. Next she takes her bra off. I take another peek. She is very casually changing clothes, not caring about me being present. Somewhere along this moment I was shirtless as well and fumbling to get my shirt on. I had my shirt and my backpack on the table.

Joke ruined
It's daytime and I'm somewhere outside in a city with my best friend. A streetsales person comes up to us. First it was to talk to my friend about something non-sales related. I look away from the guy and look at him again and suddenly he's got his notepad and what not to write down our info. Yeah that's not gonna happen. The guy says something about a cinema. My friend isn't sure of which cinema he's referring to and I tell her it's the one we went to together a while ago.

I'm walking with my friend. This salesguy is semi-following us on his moped. We decide to take a left to shake him off while he's not looking. We continue through an overpass tunnel. In the mean time I'm telling my friend about Anggie getting undressed in front of me. She says something and I try to say something along the lines of: "hey if God wants me to look at boobs, who am I to look away?" But I fumble with the words. Joke ruined.

Out-handsomed
I'm in a house with a garden. The house is so big that it may have actually been a public building. At three different moments three handsome looking actors walk in, looking their finest in their suits; Matthew McConaughey, Iain Glen and I can't recall the first one to come in. I feel some envy: I wanna look that good! Iain Glen strikes up a conversation with a slender black woman. I'm standing in the garden, watching as Jordy starts talking to a German guy who looks very much like him. They are talking in English. It turns out to be his boyfriend. There was some trouble between them, but it's all cleared now. I walk from the garden to the kitchen and I pass the place where Iain Glen was talking to the black woman. They aren't there anymore. I bet they are somewhere private. In the kitchen is my family: my mom, grandma, aunt, perhaps another aunt... My aunt makes a comment about me doing the dishes. Yeah yeah, but first I gotta find [can't remember]. I use it as an excuse not to do the dishes. I don't like the way my aunt tried to get me to do the dishes.

Before going to sleep I was worried about having made a mistake with a patient's care.....

1) I was stood in front of a consultant discussing a patient's care. I said about checking her blood glucose and was told in no uncertain terms I had it wrong and it had to be checked at the weekend. Then I was in a second hand shop looking at where a pile of books should be and they weren't there and I thought that perhaps someone had taken them already and knew I had got it wrong. I went to my car and the door was bent and forced inwards as if someone had tried to break in.
I got in the car and started driving, I remembered I had a radio in the car and turned it on thinking I might hear who was after me. Then I was in a medical shop wheeling a patient trolley back in that I had borrowed, I told them I would be back later with everything else.
I went upstairs in the same building to a room full of slot machines, and thought maybe if I have a big win my problems would be over, but decided that I never gamble and it wouldn't happen. The room was full of middle aged women playing the machines. I wandered around a bit looking at all the fruit machines. Someone threw some coins at me.
I went downstairs again to the medical shop but it had turned into a pub, I went to the bar to ask when they would open as a medical shop agin , there were some old colleagues stood at the bar ordering drinks and one asked me in quite a callous way 'so you only come here on the half hour now do you?' so I left again.

2) I was watching a taxi driving over the top of a bridge and thinking how dangerous it was. It was pink and the bridge was pink. The taxi was sliding all over the place but didn't fall off.

All slightly strange dreams.

1.) I was walking down a dark road with lots of little shanties on and beside it. I walked up next to one of the shanties and picked up two rifles and a gauss rifle from Fallout 4. I looked through the gauss rifle scope, everything was a bright green color. I remember it being hard to get it lined up with my eye and once I did it was like I was warped inside of it and instead of looking through the scope my actually vision was highly magnified.

2.) I was listening to a sermon outdoors. The preacher had said that he was worried about certain individuals. He called out five of them to come to the front, but I only remember the names Nathaniel and Brandon. I then remember him talking about how if you walked away that it was harder to come back. I remember that he was talking to a guy named Andrew. Andrew then ran to the front and started to cry. I followed him and put my arm around him and whispered in his ear that its not a game and that I have been miserable ever since I left and that I was afraid I would never get back again. I told him not to make the same mistake that I have.

3.) I was searching for my great grandparents. I remember feeling like I had just visited them. Someone told me that they had been dead for almost two months. I remember a heaviness come over me and becoming very sad. I then remember playing with my grandpas pocket knife. It was exactly the same as the one he used to carry except it was significantly larger.

4.) I found out that a guy I used to know had accidentally killed himself. I was told that he was high on some kind of drug and took a dirt bike and drove it off the side of a cliff. He ended up landing in the top of a bunch of trees. They told me that it had decapitated him.

5.) I was going to get an MRI. I remember someone telling me that I had to do it. I then told them that I don't "have" to do anything. I then got an extreme fear of being cramped up in the tiny machine. I then told the person to basically screw themselves and left.

Dream 1 - Carny (02:00)
There's a park and forest, a few snippets of a carny that I walked past (it resembled one I had seen a couple days ago). I also remember there being something about a dinosaur fossil in the ground, reminded me of a t-rex (probably due to going to the museum recently).

Dream experience: 0 (meh)
Dream awareness: 0 (meh)

Dream 2 - Black Leech (04:04)
I remember a meandering river flowing in a flood plain near some mountains. The flood plains were lightly forested and the river had some large rounded oval pebbles in the river bed.
Later I was in a neighbourhood where I live (not in RL), I remember thinking that some creepy guy might end up attacking me with a black leech/slug (it was about the length of a persons hand and quite thick). I looked out of my window to the neighbours house and saw that there was a black slug doing a little sideways scuttle up the inside of their window (it looked like it was trying to 'walk'). Poor thing, it's retarded, and it's struggling at the corner. I wake up (FA) and reach around to my back (with a pseudo arm) and touch the tip of what I imagined was the head of the slug. Ugh, I might die :/ damn. Though I'm not too panicked for some reason, like I know that nothing bad will happen. My reasoning is also that it's only halfway up my back so I can pull it off before it reaches the place it's supposed to bite to kill me. I think that creepy guy must have ordered it from the deep web. I kind of realize that all this is going on in my head and wake up properly.

Dream experience: 5 (pretty vivid, the leech was pretty interesting)
Dream awareness: 2 (a little more and I may have been lucid)

Dream 3 - Tripppyyy (05:33)
I woke up and tried recalling my dream, doing a mediocre job at it. I don't think I actually moved, and ended up doing an unintentional DEILD (does this mean I win Emnition? ). I was thinking about another lucid I have had in the past about Adventure Time (never happened). We were in a cart being pulled along and I was Finn, next to me was Jake the Dog (in full cartoon mode too). From the get go I was semi-lucid, knowing it was a dream without really properly thinking about it though. Things were a little.. trippy. Hmm, I want to be me though. I change perspective and become Jake now. Still not what I wanted, I look at Finn now and see a little mini Jake jumping around slowly, his colour looks darker than it should be, and I know that he isn't Jake because I'm Jake right now. I want to try be me again, so I slowly will my own body to be formed, I separate from Jake and move in between Finn and Jake, sitting between them on the moving cart. It's a weird thing to describe because I felt a bit.. formless, and things around me were still a bit trippy, I guess I should elaborate on the 'trippy' thing. Basically everything had a liquidness to it, seeming to have slightly shifting forms, unstable. Ugh, everything kind of intensifies slightly in that trippy state, to my right I look at Finn, hmmm? His chest now has... Boobs. They're growing and shrinking and moving around in slow-mo (not at all like a boob should). It reminds me of a slime monster or something. Both Finn and Jake are asleep on either side of me.. Things become way more lucid and I know I'm dreaming for sure but I have no way of taming the intense instability and liquidness of the dream. I reach out and grab Finns boobie. I feel it slightly but my sense of touch is a bit dim. I involuntarily float forward and turn towards him so we're more or less facing each other, but he dissolves into a new image. The whole world is changing around me like crazy. Colours and spiraling stuff.. It reforms into me looking at the side of a red car, just at where the petrol goes into. The cover over the petrol tank has a flat red face on it and it's smiling at me (same red as the car). What the? I give it a little slap/pat on its face and it keeps smiling at me. This is so weird. I try to properly stabilize the dream now, 'Stabilize!' I shout, I clap my hands, but did I? I feel like I'm clapping them in RL. Am I waking up? I open my eyes. Hmm.. That was, something? I decide not to move and keep my eyes closed, not because I wanted to re-enter the dream but because I wanted to listen to it fade away and feel the other sensations.
"tzzzzzzzzzzzz" a static fills the air and there's black and white tv-like shimmying lights in front of my eyes. Did I just DEILD again? Lots of faces start forming in the static, just black and white outlines. This scares me quite a bit and I feel like my heart sped up. "Calm down, something bad will happen if you think it will" I manage to quell some of the rising tension about my current state. The faces kind of dissole and the black and white static merges to a dark background. In the middle is the statue of a pharaoh looking at me, unmoving. It begins floating off to the side now, out of my line of sight. In front of me the dream world forms once more and I see a wrist resting on a table. The wrist has a watch on it, and I think it might possibly be my wrist. It must be late at night since the background is still quite dark. On the watch there are glowing numbers since it's digital, the number '7' sticks out to me. There are other things on it but it changes a bit too much so I don't bother with it. I think I tried getting up and moving a bit but I can't remember anything else and I think I woke up shortly after. It was still a bit unstable but not nearly as trippy as the last.

Dream experience: 8 (Wow so trippy, I think I've had trippy dreams before but this one takes the cake)
Dream awareness: 4-5 (I was completely aware I was lucid, I could control things but I couldn't stabilize or actually do things properly)

Dream fragments
- I remember there being a really long rope suspended like 100m in the air which a whole bunch of people (including me) were standing on, there was another rope above it which you could also hold onto. I remember seeing a video a while ago about a woman in a gym straightening her legs on a weight machine which caused her leg to uhh.. bend the wrong way? And pretty much snapped. It really grossed me out, why do people post that stuff on FB :/. Basically in the dream there was a guy who had a similar thing happen to him, he stood underneath the top rope and straightened his legs pushing it up, but the rope was too strong and pushed down.. It broke his legs and they bent the wrong way and he fell off and died. I remember thinking that he was an idiot though

-Something about alien civilization which has been buried, they had the ability to teleport.

Dream 4 - Heroin (07:38)
I remember thinking that the Nazis had one big regret during their time of power, I turn my head and look at a bunch of high school kids bustling to get into a big auditorium. Some had been locked out, but everyone was organised from tallest to smallest so the really short people were at the back (this meant mostly girls were at the back). I'm now a part of the school, and for some reason I had an idea to flirt around with those chicks who got locked out. I approach and the idea is gone and I'm now thinking of a way to get inside and decide to just teleport. I teleport in and open the door for everyone else. I think I'm a little annoyed with everything, and plan to hit the fire alarm and then make a run for it... There's cameras around though. I manage to find a way, I smash an alarm in then bolt out a door on the side of the auditorium just before the teacher could turn and see who did it. "Phew" I think, now I just need to avoid the cameras. I run around and skirt the edges of the auditorium to avoid the cameras, but they're the black orb type and I have the feeling that they can see everything around them. I rejoin the masses evacuating from the main entrance and follow them. But I see some students getting told off for doing their Maori dance hobby. "what the hell? Why can't they do it?" I wonder, I walk over to a white roguish character who seems to be in charge, and he tells me the story (which occurs in a flashback with me present). The teacher tells them they can't do it it for some lame reason like "it's because it's not official you can't do it as a playtime hobby" or something. I was annoyed, since I thought it was impressive for these guys to group together and form a dance group without any supervision. I can't remember what happens next.. But I think I'm talking to the white guy leader of the group, he's gotten into heroin now since they can't do the dance group. I try and smack some sense into him, he's going through withdrawal and wants another fix but I stop him. "Do you even know how much pain you'll be in when you're going through withdrawal? The spasms haven't even started yet. This is why people don't even let themselves do it once, because they get F*cked up" (I said something along those lines...). I also remember thinking of analogies, like how people say to try everything once, but I told the guy he shouldn't do heroin even once. I used the analogy of me falling off a cliff and how it can effect you for the rest of your life. Then I make heroin sound worse since it causes neural injuries rather than physical ones. There's another skin head dude hanging around who keeps squeezing heroin out of needles and shooting them like water pistols at me. What a dick. I think I end up doing heroin but I'm not sure why? When I wake up he's hovering over me and I get the feeling like he may have stabbed me with a dirty needle while I was passed out. This guy really is scary looking O_O.

Dream experience: 6 (felt pretty emotional during this, passionate about the dancers and trying to help them, it was quite vivid)
Dream awareness: 2 (only a little bit more and I may have been lucid)

I think my awareness rating is 0-2 = non-lucid and 3+ is lucid.