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I slept 10 hours this night which made me able to have two lucids in one night. I woke up and remembered some dreams but I didn't write them down. This time I didn't feel bad about not writing them down because it gave me better sleep I think.

I'm outside and see a carriage where Linda from my class is sitting. We have some kind of romantic relationship so I walk to her and kiss her. I walk to the cinema and see Albin and my current class there. Ebba from the other class is also there. I ask Albin if this is a dream. He isn't giving me a straight answer and I become somewhat lucid. I look at the people sitting and watching the movie. I interact with some of them and see an old teacher from my other school. I don't remember her name but it is the asian's mom from Subway.

I'm on a field trip with school on a big canoe. I'm on the back and steering the boat. Kalle sits up on the edge of the canoe and I tell him that it is a bad idea. We lose balance and Kalle sits down again. He stands up again and sits on the side of the boat. The boat trips to the right even thought Kalle sat on the left side of the boat's edge. We swim to the nearest island and just as I am about to climb up on the sand beach all the other people swim over me so that I am pressed down under the water. I have some panic and try to go up. After some time I reach the surface. I suddenly have a swimming mask over my eyes and nose so I dive some more. I see Albin under the water and we look at each other. I walk up to the island and go look for a pointy stick that I can catch fish with. When I see the branches and weird sticks on the ground I become lucid. I'm still looking for sticks. I inspect the sticks and notice that they have some pointy edges but they are too short to catch fish with. I abandon my mission and want to fly to the stars instead. I run to the water and fly... but I fall to the water. I try to fly up from the water but it takes some time. I still have my feet in the water but I am able to fly away and up. My mom is sitting on a stone in the water. It reminds me of the Sturkö beach. I look on the sky and see some stars. I fly up and up and suddenly I see my house to my right. I can't fly over the house and I think to myself that it is because I need some kind of reference to be able to fly. I can't fly if my vision can't see anything that swishes past me. I fly down and fly as fast as I am able to past the blocking barrier over the house. I succeed! I reach space, but it's all black. I can't see anything. I try to navigate back to earth but I fail. I have a FA were my legs are over my head. I think that the flying made me put my legs over my head.

I almost forgot to do my DJ today. Good thing I remembered!

Goal

What is my goal for lucid dreaming? Why am I doing this? I wanted to explore and learn and create a world and more. To know and to be the knower and to see things impossible to the physical eyes. And more? But what would summarize all those things? What is the shorted possible words to describe all that? That would be the mantra. How would I describe it from the viewpoint of having experienced it all?

3

Lucidity

My lucidity appears pretty constant to before. I am not sure if taking the break yesterday was a good thing or not. It was good but I felt like half the day was enough maybe. But it was good though to take a break from forced awareness.

1

When I practiced the awareness rating thing today, or over the past numberous times in general, I've noticed something different each time I've reached a specific threshold of awareness. Not during meditation but during an activity, if I noticed that I've reached around 5 there were some clear distinct symptoms of reaching that state. These were some of them:

-clarity of thought
-focus (slightly different term would work better but what?)
-clearer vision
-lightness

I've had them prior to doin this, but it feels like I'm triangulating the exact formula for it.

3

So a goal I could have... or goals. Is to first reach this state proactively, at will. Then the second would be to reach it without effort on my part.

2

Recall

Dreams

I was inside of hgihschool on the western halls of it. There was a group of us, about 8 or so. And we were taken hostage by some men in black under the command of Donald Trump. We were taken to some secluded secret place and held there for a while. After some time had passed he decided to release us. We were on the back of a van and were released by a road. Thr road looked familiar and similar to mix of the road back in the Japanese elementry highschool and the one in highschool. We were dropped midway between the school and home area. There weren't any houses around though, just the desolate empty nature beside the roads. They left us there for us to fend for ourselves. It was winter and cold, trying to forage foods. Little steps at a time. We formed a group but there were two factions of us. Group 1 being those who wanted to stay put and group 2, which included me, wanted to go on forward. My cellphone didn't have any batteries.

3

I decided to go on by myself. I walked about a kilometer away and saw a sort of small residence building area. DT came out of the van and he looked different. He used some sort of advanced technology to make himself younger. He looked leaner, tanner and a little different. To hide away from his scandal. His hair looked different, they were more amber and had a strawberry blonde look to it instead of his usual hair. His skin was sort of like red clay. And he went on to hide, no one would be able to find him.

4

I kept threading forward. Was it just me? Or I feel like there were 2 or 3 of us. We found a large building. It looked like a science facility but the inside was a gym. They had a sort of a an MMA gym going on and I decided to join them. I fought on the ring and I think the first opponent was a childhood friend. I beat him and I went on forward. The second notable opponent was an arrogant man. And it finally ended with the ex-champion. I barely managed to defeat him and to the right was the currewnt champion. He was a nice man and gave me some tips. He told me that instead of striking forward into him, I should take a step back and throw a hook for a nice counter. I leave the gym from the exit on the other side and I walk towards home. Oh yeah apparently this was the good ending.

2
...

The gym part sort of replays. This version was the bad ending. At the beginning of it I was forced to fight my friend, but this was more like a fight to the death. We were fighting atop a high platform and the floor was made of steel. How do I describe it? Those honeycomb like pattern where the middle was empty that's how the floor was like. My friend was pushed back and his hand was grabbing onto the edge of the platform. I hesitated for a moment but I pushed his fingers away with my feet.

2

It was the same fights but at the end when I was fighting the ex-champ, I grabbed hold of him in a choke. The fist time I won with a punch but this time the choke sort of went badly. It was third person view now and the protagonist was no longer me. I saw a man choking out and ex-champ and the ex's head was ripped off. And The dream scene changes to one where our protagonist, the older man, waking up from a knockout to the head. He just recalled this fearful scene and lost all his will to fight. And his body instantly flabbed and had no will to fight
2
...

I FAed. In the scene before, the part where we were grouped outside. I laid by the group and beside me was a tall slender woman. She had long blonde hair and very heavy makeup - the mascara. I was writing my DJ of the previous dream about the DT and I was telling her about it. She was quite interested in it. She fell back asleep and I went back to writing.
0
...

I remember the first dream of the night. I was seeing off my friend Wolf. He was going to move away to the faraway lands of his home soon. He was going to leave in a couple of days and we were just spending time together. We were playing on a VR headset and he had the idea or was it me? To get a VR headset for blackfriday for him. We were on a highrise apartment. About the 9th floor or that's how tall it looked like when I looked out from the veranda to the street below. We went to the mall after or something.

-thought about black friday influenced this dream I think

2

Total DJ awareness score
24/110
22.7%

11/22/20

I am at some kind of backyard party with tons of people in the pool. I have some kind of really long super elastic rubber tube I am stretching from some kind of a flag pole and slingshoting myself around in a circle. It is shooting me quite fast and twirling around in the air over people's heads. They all watch in kind of amazement but still not giving me too much attention while everyone still plays in the pool on float tubes and pool toys. At a certain point I am bobbing in the water amongst people looking for the tube again and no one really seems to notice me anymore.

I am in my neighborhood but not on my street. I am standing in front of someone's house I equate with one of my penpals from the Netherlands. They are cross with me so we aren't really talking anymore and I know that this is their familys house. I have a long rough cut wooden axe handle with a small viking style metal head on the end. It seems like an old weapon of sorts but it is hardly in working order, I gather it is very sharp and likely a garden tool of some kind. I begin swinging at deadwood/roots that are exposed on their front lawn. It is night time and no one is outside, so I chop up the wood into wood chips little by little basically dismantling the stump in their front yard. As I finish and begin to walk away form the pile of wood chips I have created I notice the metal blade has come off of the handle and is now sitting in the yard on top of the cuttings, I walk back and retake the blade and attempt to reattach it to the long handle. At a certain point I jump into an SUV in front of the house I know is not my car. I am attempting to park it from the passenger seat and struggle to stop the rolling of the car before it slightly hits a chain link fence by the street. I manage to stop the car with great effort and I feel like I am pulling the weight of the vehicle from the ground. As it stops I notice someone walking their small dog on a leash on the sidewalk close to the car, they have walked in front of the car as it was rolling and I attempt to assure them all is well and I had control of the rolling vehicle. I understand this is part of the family who owns the car so I embarrassingly put it in park and start to walk/jog across the street through a park and past some hills to my house. While attempting to run out of sight I understand they have found me out and are looking out of the window of their house to see me. As I am nearing my house there are large mansion type homes between my destination. I am on the roof of one of them which seems to be scattered with ponds/pools on the roof of the building. I jump up and notice all the homes around me have pools on them, but this one seems more like smooth concrete structure like a landscaped amusement park ponds.

I am inside of a large mansion type house with very tall ceilings. There are many rooms even though I notice only two people live here, a washed up 80's style blonde woman who still has dreams of being a rock star though she can hardly play the guitar anymore, and an LL Cool Jay type character I gather is her drug papi. They're both alright but Cool Jay is being investigated for drug running and I gather he is attempting to blame me for some large shipment of pills that has gone missing. While he is in another part of the house I hang out with blondy in the somewhat dingy smokey aired lounge room. There are a couple small bags of weed on the table and I motion towards them while asking her if I could have a small nug for the road. She is angry about it and says no, I gather they don't have a lot of money even though the house/possessions being incredibly expensive. Other things occur in the house though I am unsure about the series of events, I just know I have been in here for quite some time before I leave out the back. I am made aware Cool Jay has called the authorities and is out front trying to make a deal for himself to turn me in. After hastily saying goodbye to blondy I quickly exit the back and begin running back to the park to get back to my house, which should be visible from behind.

I am with my adopted brother and we are standing on the roof of one of the other houses looking up at the row of houses on my street from behind. I tell him we should be able to see my house from here and it is odd I don't recognize any of the backyards. They all seem dingy and weathered covered in moss/algae, and much smaller than the house I was just in. We continue on and I find myself a couple yards over from my house in the backyard. So I begin to jump a tall fence to get back, I gather in doing so I have exposed a sight line directly to the house of foreigners I was attempting to escape from earlier on. I wonder what it would look like from that distance away and if they really saw me jumping from backyard to backyard, do they know where I live now? I let myself in my backdoor which leads to the basement. It is like one large bathroom with two showers in it. My brother is getting cleaned up to go to work, I tell him I am going to shower in the other shower while he is. He's fine and we have smalltalk while showering in separate showers in the L shaped room so neither of us could see each other. The dream fades as I step under the water.

I am with G and she has one of her friends over to the house who looks like someone from my middle school, we go to leave and G is in the driver's seat of my car. She wants to show off but I know she doesn't drive manual that well. I tell her she is not driving and to get out so I can drive us there. I go back into the garage to get something and when I come back out the car is gone. I am upset and assume maybe she is just driving around the block to show off. The car arrives back and G is gone. I am now going to leave with my old friend to go to the place.

It is halloween and have arrived to a stranger's house who really feels like a younger military couple with a few kids. It's a smaller single story house that they have obviously decorated to look like a small kids haunted house. People are walking through and I am with my old middle school friend. She is more attractive than I remember and looks like a mix of one of my ex girlfriends now. We go our separate ways while walking through the house. It's not very scary but the lights are cool looking. I walk down a corridor which is in the back of a bedroom I gather not many people have found. Down the hallway there is a sheet over a closet. When I reach the closet a sort of spring loaded ghoul jumps out and does a loud screech. I am unphased but think it's rather interesting. I go back to a larger room where my friend is sitting on a couch and I beckon her to follow me. I lean against a wall while I direct her to go down the hallway with the ghoul in it. She does and screams when the trick activates. I giggle and we make our way back out of the house. It now seems like a Sunday afternoon and there are a few buff college students gathering their supplies for some kind of workout.

I am outside and things feel alien. I am unsure if I am wearing clothes but it doesn't matter, I am comfortable. There's pools of water mixed with a bog around and I am intrigued. Upon investigation I have a friend with me who I gather is much older now and also nude. We are prehistoric I think. Wading through the bog I notice a few nests of sorts that are scattered on a somewhat dry part/island, though it is still muddy. Looking closer I see the 'nests' consist of 6 or 7 large breaded and cooked flattened fried shrimp tails like you would find in a restaurant with a single red cooked lobster on the side. I still understand they are nests and am curious what could lay such shapes. As we investigate I notice a great many bubbles begin to form all around us. The mothers have woken up and they are massive 10 foot long oarfish. They are just below the surface of the water but they create many bubbles and ripples in the water as they swim towards us. I am unconcerned but am motivated to get off the island and wade through the water back to the dry land.

I am with the same older woman again but it is modern times. We are in a garage which feels like a garage sale of sorts. She has a large white van outside which I gather is her art studio and full of her paintings. As we browse through the garage nothing really catches my eye, it begins to look like my food dry stock in my actual garage IRL. Walking outside I notice a dark fly buzzing about. It lands and I swipe my hand fast to catch it. I feel it buzzing in my hand. I go to throw it away and the woman chastised me telling me absolutely do not let it get into her van, which is now in the front yard with it's side door open. She slides the door closed and I walk behind some tall hedges in front of the porch and throw the fly behind them.

I'm in a big room looking like a library with two other people. They are decrypting some evil books. They try to open a gate of some sort. They find some notes that teach them how to do some kind of spell. I already know it is avada kedavra but it's like I'm more of a spectator to the dream. One of them do the avada kedavra spell against a shelf but fails. I think to myself that it is because he doesn't hate enoughly to do the evil spell. Voldemort teleports into the room and kills the person who tried to do the evil spell with his own avada kedavra. He does some kind of magic and the books in the shelves become green and red and change positions with each other. I know that he is doing some kind of clue to us that we are supposed to figure out. I think to myself that we don't need to solve his riddle. It would take a very long time judging how many books he swapped positions on. He teleports away and the "good persons" come in just to see him vanish.

I'm defending against zombies with some other humans. We don't take it seriously and some people get bitten while everyone just kinda laughs at it. They who are bitten doesn't care either. We reach a shelter with other humans. I try to lay comfortable at some pillows but another person pushes me away and takes my seat.

I'm in a big basketball room. I'm a member of a team and we are just about to play. My team consists of some nerdy characters and the other team has some good looking sportsmen. I look at some of my teammates who have some special characters. One of them can only focus on the ball so he doesn't hear while another teammates run next to him and scream "pass the ball!" with some kind of panic in the voice caused by his disorder. He has to focus on the ball because he is really bad at bouncing and he almost drops it even though no one disturbs him. He tries to jump up and dunk the ball into goal. He has the right height but goes to the left and misses. The one who screamd "pass the ball!" is kind of disappointed but still impressed by the jump. I'm now actively in the dream and am able to bounce the ball on my own. I try to pass my teammates but the ball always flies of to the right or left so someone from the enemy team takes it instead. Their team is about to throw out the ball and I am pushing a smaller blonde a little bit with my shoulder. He becomes really disturbed and even though he is small he is able to push me away effectively. No one of us gets the ball. Suddenly the basketball is two big lego pieces in a plastic bag. I hold in the bag and am about to shoot it away. I try to do it over my head like a basketball throw but because of the wind friction it just drops to the ground really fast. The other team throws the ball with all their power and I think that it is cheating. When I see my team throwing the "ball" too I join them. I'm able to run next to their hoop and try to make a goal. I throw it but miss. I'm about to throw out the "ball" but nets are being rolled down in the middle of the plan. I see Magnus (math teacher) walking against me as if he was the one who ordered the nets to be rolled down. I walk away and meet a small woman that starts to talk to me. Filippa comes and interrupts her mid scentence and I tell her to be quiet so that the other girl can finish what she would say. After she is finished Filippa tells me that she has to go away because of some kind of friendly party. She hugs me and I hug her back. As she walks away the other girl also hugs me and we say good bye.

Notes: When I play sports in my dreams I always suck. I can't kick or shoot the ball without it doing some kind of weird detour.

20th November 2020

Fragment:

In a place like a restaurant or something. Someone was talking to me and they were telling me how "mussels are the tastiest thing there is" or something. I remember thinking of, or seeing some clams and thinking that besides the meat within, there would be pearls of value or something.

---

Notes:

- I remembered this fragment much later in the day while in a church. A stained glass I was looking towards for a while had pearls as a small detail in places and this triggered some vague visual recall of the dream.

- I remember after the dream and also after recalling this fragment, I did feel some sort of craving for the food in question; there was some sort of taste in the dream, it was meaty but I can't recall any more detail than that. I have never found this type food appealing before, but I have been curious about it, having possibly thought about it again recently.
-- My family, and most people where I'm from, do enjoy this type of food, but I have never wanted to taste it. Part of me thinks it can't be that different from snails and so I wonder now about similarities.

- It's possible that in the dream I thought about the pearls being a metaphor of some sort; when the recall came to me, this was my first feeling about them. I don't remember the pearls visually. Later on in the day I had disassociated thoughts about how it might be possible to modify the clams to create different pearls, or objects.

- Can't recall my reaction to being told that mussels are supposedly so tasty.

Goals/Lucidity/self analysis
Just gonna be a laid back DJ. I noticed plateau in terms of my awareness training. It's peaking at 33% and 20% for the 2 activities I've been practicing it on. It's still very good progress nonetheless. Hard exhaustion. I was so dead tired I didn't want to do anything. It's working though. It took me to the edge of my limit. But I need a break. I know I need to give my mind a break otherwise I'd be doing it a disservice and also it needs times to process and grow the new neural pathways to make this whole process more efficient. So I'll skip the awareness scoring thing for today.

My goal is to rest up and if I'm 100% tomorrow again, I'll get right back on track. To get to 40% and 30% awareness on the activities I have been working on.

I also had a day dream, a passing thought about writing a sort of a story. Since I'm just typing away large amounts of texts and I seem to be enjoying it, why not try writing a sort of a story? A fiction but it would contain bits of techniques that could be used to learn lucid dreaming. It may not be about lucid dreaming but it could be a fun way to expose myself to lucid dreaming. And I could also reshape bits of my dream and turn it into a plot. Reshaping dream objects in my mind, sort of like a dream control training Just an idea though.

Recall
Breaking Bar

I was inside a small bar. I'm recalling why I was there. I was trying to take over this bar in a way, sort of like a villian in this specific dream episode. I was one of the patrons there, or disguised as one. The bar was made of mostly wood, so it looked sort of like a wooden cabin but extremely large. Perhaps 10000-20000sq ft overall. On one side of the bar was a really nice pool as well. That reminds me, perhaps I've been in this bar before. It feels sort of familiar, it may be the one that I dreamt of before with the one with the dying monk and him transferring his energy to me before dying.

But back to where I am, there were many patrons there and I was busy scheming of a way to make the patrons fight eachother so that I could take it over. I believe that this was influenced by a specific video game. I was curious so watched a brief youtube video of it, and it was basically this theme. A sort of a demon trying to take over a village, and he did so by using his magic to cause internal strife and also taking it over with sheer force is possible. So that's basically the theme of it or atleast of what I recall of the theme of the dream was based upon.

I was a youth patron but I had trouble making anything happen. But I came across an old man, who looked like Mike from Breaking Bad. He was an old time customer or maybe he was the manager here. What I feel is that he aws like a manager or he kept the storage... he was responsible for the storage. I saw him walk under into the basement floor and check out what was left in the storehouse. I took over his body and now I was Mike in first person. I forget how but I fell on my nose and people around me were worried. I kept going with my plans and my memory is sort of foggy now.
...

Recalling scribbles: quest, lactation/location, blood
poison/prison research work/monk

...
I was inside a mall and there were many TV screens hanged up in front of me. There was a tournament for a game. I did not feel like participating but one of the teams invited me to join them to fill their team. An and NT. There was soem time before it was going to start, about 30-50 minutes. So they left the room to browse around the mall. I followed them. As we were walking over the kiosks and checking out snacks, I think An comes onto me. He was just rubbing my butt and really reaching down there for some time. But he stopped after a bit.

We checked out another store. I think it was like a sunglasses store? I had some glasses on and noticed that my vision was better without glasses on. There were about 3 pairs of glasses that I tried and stacked and things.

So we headed back towards the tournament room but I think we were too late and it already started.

I'm semi lucid and know that I am a woman. I'm in a grey room. There is another girl in the room next to me. I want to get some massage but the dream becomes unstable. I get a FA and sleep in my dream.

Goals

Keep doing what I'm doing right now. With the awareness score thing. It's really working out well. Perhaps try to consistently reach over 40-50% awareness.

1

Lucidity

The first thing I noticed when I was doing the awareness rating, outside of doing it on DJ of course, is that it's really similar to keeping lucidity inside a dream. Forgetting, then getting it back, forgetting then getting it back, then maintaining it then doing it for longer.

1

I've created a sort of a constant rating that I'd give myself moment to moment. It's still getting refined but the idea is working very well for me. It may be similar to other people's own unique take on all day awareness or self awareness or whatever they call it. For now it's something like this

1 - just got lucid, aware after forgetting
2 - forgot that you were lucid but you got it back
3 - repeated 2 couple of times and it's more constant
4 - more of 3, it's chunked together and majority 50%+ of the duration is lucid
5 - aware in all or almost entirety - but it lacks control or emotional aspect
6 - shallow control, identifying emotional aspect while maintaining 5, perhaps you call it mindfulness
7 - identifying the source of emotion that keeps you from full awareness
8 - releasing or sort of imploding, or evolving... by simply noticing it and giving it time to resolve it self
9 - sense of joy and awareness
10 -

(4)

So I feel that this may apply to lucid dreaming as well. With the initial stage 1 being the act of getting lucid. 2 would be the part where you learn to get it more constantly. 3 would be getting either better at DEILDs, or just maintaining the lucidity for longer and so on. 5 is where you'd know you're dreaming, and the dream's clear and stable and so on... but you simply lack control. That's what I mean by lack of emotional aspect of it. Since the dream control is affected by emotions, if the emotion is unstable, the manifestations are unstable. 6 is shallow control. It's where you might have control over your dream and you are lucid, but you get trouble doing the goals you really wanted to achieve; it's only the shallow momentary self satisfactions (ie. dream sex). And so on. Perhaps the my ideal, or the ideal lucid dreams that people really want to have is actually achieved at somewhere around 8.

4

Recall

I had a sort of aha moment upon awakening. There was no dream but it gave me some sort of insight. It was like the idea of... message or meaning of buddha? I think it's just residue of just doing the practice of staying away during activities and it really struck some kind of chord within me...

1

It's the remembering, forgetting, maintaining awareness. The process of it. It's... I can't even fully describe it now. It's a cycle, a cycle of up and down. You gain awareness, you lose awareness. You gain deeper understanding, yet you face more challenges. You face attachment, you lose attachment. You forget and you remember. The wheel, or karma, or the struggle of cycle of discord and success. To become aware of it, and to free yourself from it, Buddha? But I'm getting off tangent here.

3

Dreams

I got lucid several times in a dream. It was somewhere outside and quite a bright and dry place like dessert but not that dry. More like the backyard but a drier version of that. I remember being there with someone else. And during the entirety of this dream, I was practicing what I'd done earlier in the day. Of remembering to be lucid and staying lucid. I didn't do anything else really. I awoke tired and didn't bother DJing it. So this is all I can remember.

1
...
I was inside a house, on the firs floor. It was very dim inside and I found my mother inside one of the smaller room that was on the second floor I think. She talked about wanting to have another child and I was mad by this for some reason and protested against it.

1

I FA or leave the house and I am in a business highrise. It was about 10 story tall glass building, slightly taller than it is wide. I was riding up the elevator on the left side and walking down to the right. I saw one punch man there. Foggy at the moment... recalling... There were about 4 events here. I recall one right now. There was a girl there who I suppose was the villain of the story, I forget even what she was doing now. I became chaseed by something likea monster and ran towards the direction I was in. And eventually I ended up at the exit on the second floor. There was a girl there and OP man. The girl was the one causing trouble to everyone and she looked like a teen or tween, but her actual age was more like 5. Perhaps this was because she wasn't human. He punched her face multiple times and her face scarred and formed weird things but she was alright mostly. People seeing this noticed she might have been the villian and began to attack her too.

-I'd say recall is about 4/10. I should also rate my recall at the end nice idea!
3
...

I was inside a school. Bright atmosphere mostly white colored floor and walls, lockers and etc. It was a school of magic now that I recall it. More moderny feel where the students were dressed more normal. It was either me in this story or I saw it through the eyes of a girl who was our protagonist. I'll just call her Mia for the sake of convenience. Walking down the hall, first day of the school. From the left wing of the entrance of the school and walking straight to the back of the school to find my locker. The lockers were strange. It wasn't like the ones you'd find anywhere. They were transparent and you could see the inside. I suppose half of them weren't even lockers. Half it were just public resources that you can just take out and use for yourself. A sort of a open library or cache of items that had magical properties imbued within them.

1

I'm recalling more now. It was around the 5th row to the back of these invisible lockers. Actually invisible rather than transparent. They were just stuff hanging on the wall but not actually hanging. Walking down the locker to the right, there's some chaotic event going on. Stuff are going missing. And they're looking at me...

1

Gotta cut it short now... Girl at the very end, villian behind all this. A guy with some morphing ability, fight. Re-run of the dream. With events playing differently.

2

Overall DJ awareness score

23/110
20.90 %

I'm at home but everything is not alright. There is a big monster in the jacuzzi. The monster is like a big pile of slime but more structure and an outer layer of skin too. There is a body part that is going out and there is a big eye on it. There is slime leaking next to the eye. The monster's gang is called the spider gang. The monster is having upsight over us so we don't take the secret thing on the upper floor. Me and dad are going to take it anyways. Dad gives me a key that is able to unlock the door to the next floor. I try to but the key hole is very deep so I have to put the key in to it's maximum length. It doesn't work at first because it is reverted too. After I have turned the key to the other way it works. I look on the jacuzzi and notice that the monster is aware what I am doing. I quickly walk to the lower floor instead. I talk with dad and he says that there are other openings with a voice that tells me that we are being eavesdropped by the monster and he looks in the direction of the windows on the lower floor. I try to climb out through the first window but he says that he meant another one. I walk to the window next to the kitchen and open it. There are many details and a vase that I have to move before I am able to enter. I climb on the gutter and reach the roof. I keep on climbing on the roof until I reach the front of the house. There is a ladder and the roof is getting unstable. Dad, who is already inside tells me to jump to the ladder. There are some tense moments where I don't think that I am going to make it. Everything I grab is unstable. I grab the ladder and it starts to move in another direction. I grab the roof on the other side of the house and I am able to drag myself up. New fragment. Dad and I am running from an angry mob. I think Rick (from Rick and Morty) is the leader of the mob. New fragment. There is a spider and a fly on a wall. Dad says that the spider is tougher than the fly. He pinches the spider and squishes it. He puts back the broken spider on the fly. The spider is given life again, or it was never dead and hunts the fly as it runs away.

Notes: That was eventful. I watched a video of a spider eating a fly some days ago.

I'm driving car with William from middle school. I know that he is annoying but I think to myself that if I am nice to him we can be friends. We go faster than the allowed speed. William tells how I drive wrong when I make a mistake on the road. I have to put my hand on the road in order to increase the friction so that I don't go off in the sharp curves (I don't know how I was able to do that in a car). William and I come to some kind of park where families are. Another friend of William is there and we talk with him.

Notes: I don't think I have ever dreamt about this William. Some days ago I talked about him with mom.

I'm in a barn with hay, other humans and dogs in it. I go down on my knees and cuddle with a golden retriever. It is trying to use me as a height so it can jump over the obstacle that is holding it in the barn. I go away to the other dogs and cuddle with them instead.

Notes: Dogs have been a theme in my last dreams.

Finally. After a week and a half of nothingburger, I got another LD.

Spoiler for Kinda long; Some NSFW content:

Scrap Group 1
On an island just off a city's bay during twilight. Mom and other family members were around. Much of this space was a nursery for palm trees and other types of trees. Most of said trees were still quite small, and unnaturally uniform in appearance.

In an unknown room. Numerous people were there, though besides my bro Samuel, everyone else were strangers. Several of the folk were playing old 16-bit games. Later on, my friend Manny appears. I'm exasperated to talk with him.

At a plains during late afternoon. Several family members were around. A lake was in the distance, located behind a crude framework of a wooden fence. I start flying, then shooting energy blasts at the grass below. Some of the shots caused explosions, while others only were to create light displays.

Dream 1 - Mars Flight Attempt WILD Loop

Scene 1 - When In Doubt, Grab a Snack
No visuals upon entry. WILD transition from bed. I had to re-enter the dream a few times before it was stable enough for me to move. I make several unsuccessful attempts at conjuring people and warping elsewhere. I did, unwittingly, summon bags of food. Although I couldn't see, I could certainly taste and feel that I was eating cereal. Specifically, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Fruity Pebbles.

I kinda lost focus. The dream collapses, though I re-enter quickly.

Scene 2 - When One Thing Leads To Another Yet Again...
The visuals were quite dim. Another transition in bed.

I quickly set my mind to speaking with my guide, E. Just then, a wide grin and pair of eyes flashed in the darkness above me. The figure drew in closer, revealing that it was indeed my guide. She was nude, made much more apparent due to her being significantly larger than normal (at least a head taller than I). Seeing her this way, well... One thing leads to another. The situation quickly got out of hand. Gonna spare you decent folks all the details.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

This went on for a time, before I lost consciousness.

Scene 3 - Just Miles Away From Mars
The visuals were dim again, but they improved over time. Yet another re-entry in bed.

It took a moment to gain the strength (or rather, wits, a fact I acknowledged) to move. I removed my (in-dream) sleeping mask, clarifying much of the murkiness from the scene.

Next, I rolled off bed, intending to warp elsewhere, though I only ended up landing softly on the floor. I walked out to the lounge, where i had to adjust my vision from the glare of sunlight. I then phased sideways through the window. I struggled momentarily, but eventually, I was shunted to the other side.

Looking up, the sky suddenly dimmed into a starry twilight. I flew straight up. But then, my eyes began closing against my will. So too did my levitation falter. I calmed down, and allowed both my vision and flight to wane. Soon, I crashed back first through the ground.

As expected, I ended up warping into outer space, with vision restored no less. I rocketed straight ahead at warp speeds. Space debris twisted past me, some of which appeared as sparks, even tiny stars. Moments later, a symphonic funk soundtrack was sounding in the background. It wasn't anything I ever heard. Whatever it was, I couldn't get enough of it.

I then thought of tasks to do. This month's bonus task seemed most appropriate. I look around to find Mars. After a minute of travel, I spotted the red planet directly ahead of me. At the rate I was going, it would only take seconds to arrive. I got close enough, that it encompassed much of the view in front.

But suddenly, the scene started blacking out. I couldn't react quickly enough to stop if from collapsing. I tried re-entering, without success.

Scrap Group 2
Dreamlet. I was floating through an asteroid field. Similar music to above was playing.

A 2D scene taking place on a highway. Off Da Wall from Cool Spot sounded in the background.

In a hospital. I look for a room, where my niece was staying. Supposedly, she was getting heart surgery. It wasn't for any medical reason. Instead, it was part of a process to give her an above-human vascular system. For some ludicrous reason, I wanted to do this surgery myself. But, by the time I got there, the
operation had long since concluded.

Using my computer downstairs at home during daytime. My nephew Isiah and niece Lada were around. Somehow, the cat had gotten my headphones on its own head. My niece and nephew chased it around to retrieve it. Lada ended up pulling recklessly on the headphone's plug. I yelled at her to stop, but she was too engrossed. In panic, I smacked the back of her head. She got startled enough to cry. I tried consoling her, though I didn't help by blaming her for her actions. I realized how scummy this was. Feeling bad, I gave a true apologize for overreacting.

Going to take a break from DJ today. Just overall very tired and sleepy. I think I may have caught a cold yesterday or the day before. Giving myself a rest is part of the training. I'm going to love myself and my body by giving it proper rest.

5

Notes: I've been doing more RCs in the past days which has led to more lucids.

I'm at Håkansson's and I'm talking with Therese in a room I've never been at before. My cousins are also there. We walk up to the room where David sleeps and I have painted an abstract picture of two faces. It's hard to see one face at first. When you find the first face you can see the next face upside down under the first face. It's all done with lead pencils and it creates a monotonic plain surface. The eyes on the first face are like the windows on a submarine. Therese accuses me of having done evil things to my mom and I know that I have done them and I feel guilty.

Notes: When I woke up I remembered that I never did the things I got accused of doing.

I'm home with Eni and dad. I notice it's a dream. I fly by the house for some time and I have good control. I fly to the left of the outer door and see a window. It is half open and I open it up and peak my head inside. I scream hello and wonder if I maybe am rude. A young mans voice says hi. I walk in and wake up.

Notes: It was a long time since I had two lucids over two days. Let's keep it this way!

17th November 2020

Fragment:

(Lost most of recall I woke up early in the morning because I was too hot, around 6am?, unknown)

Raid groups or something like them? There were some dream characters that were kind of like combat medics. This didn't make me RC even though it should have been a prominent cue to do so. I think it did raise my level of dream awareness but not enough. I remember specifically noticing that these dream characters were glitching visually, their limbs clipped through their clothing in weird ways, as poorly animated models might do.

Fragment:

Something with C from school and T. There was a general context around the old home.

---

18th November 2020

Fragment:

I was talking via Steam to Sh from the PTFG. It didn't quite sound like him though. He was asking me how I was and we discussed something about my well-being at length; the conversation was heavily focused on me but mostly because he kept asking questions in that direction.

---

Notes (for 18th only):

- Last night I spend some time speaking with F from BL and we caught up a bit and he was asking me how we'd been.

- Dream recall had vanished by the time I got up from bed and when the recall first came through, I mistook it for a real memory, taking me a couple of minutes to go through it and realising it was simply vague recall of a dream.

- I slept poorly last night and the last few days have been very difficult for me, physically. I have also been feeling completely demotivated from my creative activity.

- Last night I continued reading the book from the LD Book Club and I had been thinking about the four-step process for dream-work. After my initial recall of this dream this morning, I have been considering trying them on this, since it's a fairly short dream and seemingly quite specifically directed towards how I've been feeling.

- All I can visually recall from the dream is the chat window and Sh's icon.
-- Typing the above note, I have just realised that my abbreviation for the person in the chat has a secondary and much more specific significance to me.

Goals

Goals first today. Because I noticed I lacked a clear goal each time I DJ. To have a clear purpose for each and every DJ session would be wonderful. Rather than just having goals for dream goals, or goals for awareness. I decided I wanted a way to test my lucidity. Not just in dreams. Because how could I realistically train and test it while I am dreaming and not lucid? I can only review my lucidity upon awakening. So instead I want to use my DJ as a part of a training, or a test. A way to measure how lucid I can stray while DJ. Because I noticed I lost lucidity during it and it's an activity that may put you in touch with your thoughts and feelings and really place them into a physical medium long term. I could feel a feeling or a thought and notice it on my body, but that sensation could disappear in mere moments. So this will be a test. A way to gauge myself, as well as all the other benefits of a DJ.

6

I decided that for each paragraph, or at the end of it I would give myself a score. Between 1 and 10, I would rate how aware I could stay while typing away my thoughts and feelings and recall of dreams. At the end of the DJ, I would tally them up and give myself a final score. This would be a great way to measure and practice my lucidity and learning to stay aware while typing away at non-DJ stuff too.

5

This would be sort of like the thought I had yesterday, a continuation of it. The analogy of how I said learning a song, syllable by syllable. In that specific example you'd need a way to record yourself and this specific thing I will do would serve as a way to record my progress. Just a metaphor.

4

Do I have other goals? Yes but first, I want to perfect my art of awareness. The ability to stay aware. Not only in gaining it during meditation, but to get aware one activity at a time. So instead of "doing" things to get lucid. Like meditating or doing reality check to induce a state of lucidity. The goal here would be to bring lucidity to whatever activity I do.

4

So what other goals, or things do I want to experiment after I compete this one?

I want to experiment more with WBTB - or polyphasic - separation of sleep segments. Because I noticed today, and with several days ago that I felt really bad. Tired and my body ached when I slept more than 7 hours in one single segment. Overall bodily discomfort. So the solution would be to divide them in shorter segments like with WBTB and it would give better rest and better lucids as a bonus. Another key aspect of this is figuring out what the perfect mount of sleep segment duration would be for me. Is it 3 hours or 5 hours or maybe 90 minutes? I want to experiment on it so badly, but I need to try it one at a time. I need to do this current awareness practice to my satisfaction so I don't overload myself. Also remember that there's also the number, or frequency of sleep cycles and the bst times that makes you most refreshed.

3

I can't think of or remember other goals at the moment so I'll skip it for now.

Lucidity

I noticed yesterday that the activities that I was more unaware - or the 3 of them that I was most unaware of them in were:

DJing
Learning something new
Talking to someone

So as a result I decided to work on the first one. I noticed that I'm improving @ keeping awareness when talking to someone, not perfect but it's getting better. But what would be the best way to maintain awareness during the process of learning?

2

Maybe this would be something I could keep on the back of my head. Ask yourself what would be a good way to maintain it. How would you maintain awareness during the process of learning? Maybe by counting?

2

I also noticed that during my meditation last night before bed, I saw just images playing around behind my eyelids. They were very vivid, as if I was watching a TV show. The images I saw were similar to old school disney cartoons but the characters were different. They were so smooth, smooth animations playing before me and I noticed them popping up as I noticed my awareness. Catching it and getting lost. I also noticed that I could easily control the images and manipulate them. I could change them if I willed and edit it. I could clear it and instead summon something else into my vision if I wanted. At the later bits it was more chaotic and the scenes were less and less... understandable? It was just things happening, morphing it was like... it implied to me that it was hell? Or was it heaven from a different perspective? Instant manifestation of thoughts.

2

If one was to have all their wishes come true instantly, would that be heaven? Or would that be hell? Perhaps it depends on the stability and ability of one's own control of their mind. If you knew what you were doing, it would b heaven. But if your mind was chaotic it would be hell. Then would the world that we live in, be heaven since there is delay in change?

2

Much like when having a lucid dream. The most realistic and vivid lucid dreams. If we didn't have control over it and all of our fears manifested instantly. Lucid nightmares - would that be horrible? Or would it be an opportunity to face our fears if we were strong enough?

2

Recall

Had dreams today. I'm going to do my best to recall them without looking at my jotted notes of them.

Dreams:

I'll start with the very last one. It was about an Indian Guru in India. He kind of looked like Sadhguru. It was ourdoors on a dry field and he was holding a sort of lecture for others. And he was showcasing a large reusable whiteboard where the ink was permanent, until it was heated. He grabbed a hold of a very large hose. About the size of his waist. From it flowed hot air and that erased the large red ink on the board, that sort of looked like a calender with the red ink marking bits of the calender. But this hose was a glorified hairdryer basically and he erased the ink by blwoing hot air on it.

- I think the reason I dreamt this part was because I watched some of hite speech recently. And the ink stuff was becaus I thought I wanted more notepads or a better way to write things down right as I wake up. So I did buy one of these disappearing ink stuff before and the thought I had about saving paper lead to it at that time.

1

During his hosing down the red ink, one of the students there, an indian man with glasses and a gelled up hair. We'll call him Anand. He went to grab the hose to help the guru erase the board. I was watching this at the back, maybe as an observer or a participant. During this we learn a bit more about our guru. He attended some US school during his 20s and did some big project in the States. Something about 10 million, and he was robbed of part of it and came back to India and that was one of his stories.

3

As he went on, my vision changed. I was in that very school or business building he was in the past. I remember him saying he had some sort of secret research documentation and it was stolen. I walked down the

I'm just gonna stop my DJ here today. It's only maybe 1/5th of the thing but I should take a break and not overdo it, heeding the advice of someone very wise.

4

Total DJ Lucidity Score

40/140 = 28.57%

Get better!

I woke up by myself 8 am and thought about going up because I've gotten my 8 hours sleep. I wanted to get a lucid and know that I easily get lucids when I resleep in the morning.

I'm in church and go sit on a chair 2 meters fromt the main entrance. I'm playing nonogram and there are some people playing a game and running in front of me. Linda from my class approaches me and wonders where I got my socks from. I notice that I have a pair of my Happy Socks on me. I tell her that Elina (?) gave me them. She says that she got her's from Elina too. She walks away awkwardly and I think it is weird of me to have my phone and playing nonogram.

Notes: I had a dream earlier about Elina but don't quite remember it.

I'm by Hemköp and walking home. I see a chair on the ground with wheels on it. I take it and keep on walking home. By the slope I sit on the chair and ride on. The chair is spinning counter clockwise. I meet Albin and say hi to him. I start wondering if this is a dream but I wake up.

I lie in bed and decide to walk up. I just woke up and I'm in church. My pants are dirty and I wonder how I'm supposed to get home to school, I don't remember how I got here . My arms and hands are white and I know it's a dream. I do my RC. Yep I can breathe even though I pinch my nose. I start to fly away and notice how I don't have full control. I see a man walking the street and I want to test something. I imagine that I have a rope and pull him in. He starts to do weird motions but not accordingly to how I do it. I fly away in search for something fun. I find a house and walk in through the window. I meet a man and I ask him where his family is. He says that they are in the dark room upstairs. I walk up and open the door. It is pitch black and my vision is gone. I think about how I am going to wake up if I don't do anything. I imagine how I grab the wall and walk down the stairs again. My vision is still gone but I have a small sense on my hands against the wall. I try to open my eyes gradually and it is a success. I walk to the outer door. The man from before greets me and the sheriff enters. They talk a while about how everyone has guns and the houseowner jokes to the sheriff that it is because he is so bad with guns that everyone else needs guns by themselves. The house owner talks about how much the clock is and I tell him that he doesn't need to worry. The clock is 10 am in the waking world I tell him. He doesn't reply to this. I fly on and look into different houses. There are dogs in all the houses. The dogs have some sort of bad aura over them. I walk into different houses and see some families. I keep on flying and come to a spooky house. I fly through a window and notice that there are many children there. They are having some kind of spooky party. I fly to the back of the house and exit through a window. There is a flying witch there. I show of how good I am at flying and think that she is only using a thread or something fake. I fly back to the house and see some kids again. They jump over a hinder to come to the next floor. A boy, about 6 years old, throws a big wooden wheel at a small girl and she starts to cry. She runs to me and hold my hand. She drags my hand as if she wants me to carry her and so I do. I carry her and feel a bit stressed out at first because I haven't done anything really fun in my lucid but feel comfort in comforting this little girl.

Notes: I didn't have that much control over the dream but it's okay. I haven't had a lucid in a long time. I read How to Kill a Mockingbird and studied the chapter with the sheriff yesterday. I woke up 08.55 am so I was actually wrong when I told him the clock was 10 am.