All DJ Entries

12th November 2020

Fragment:

Out with H somewhere. It's day time and we're approaching a wooden or metal gate of a farm or ranch of some sort. There is a building on the left of the gate, in the distance there are hills or low mountains and more immediately to our right is a small mounding area. There are some darkly coloured horses here and they eventually get up close to some trees on the mound area and stand up on their hind legs and basically start trying to copulate with the trees, which have some holes at just about the right height.

I don't recall what happened next exactly but I remember noticing the trees had no leaves left at all anymore, but the grass was green-ish and not covered in leaves. The horses later stopped what they were doing I think and turned into dogs instead.

13th November 2020

Fragment:

The dream was focused around a black boy I was trying to help. He must have been no older than eight years of age.

He had no parents? I think he was wanting to get some information about some random guy and the info he wanted was in a hard drive. I suggested we could plug it in at my computer and it would be quicker this way.

But for whatever reason, the drive needed a scart connector. I remember we looked for about three hours (it felt long, but not actually three-hour long) and I couldn't find one of these connectors, only some other old connectors.

I remember starting to feel frustrated after finding a component lead or something. I can't remember what we chose to do at this point but I do recall a computer, with a CRT. In retrospect now, it felt like something like what we had back at home when I was younger.

There's a large gap in my recall here.

At some point it becomes evident or is revealed that there's something mystical about the boy. He was unliving or something. There were dark forces trying to reclaim him, back to their domains. Another recall gap.

Near the end of the dream, a human-like demon is pouring (out of his mouth?) tea bags in front of the boy's feet. Something about these being a representation of the number of times the boy had avoided or cheated death or capture.

The dream was particularly long most of the recall was lost because of having to get ready in the morning and the recall I managed to keep for the initial notes was about an hour old at that point. Would like to edit in some notes at some later point.

I had a dream last night was I was visiting some big city. I do not know what city it was, but it seemed to have landmarks from many big cities I have been in.

At the start of the dream, I was walking on an elevated trail that was like the High Line in New York. As I walked on it, I saw landmarks from many different US Cities. It seem like each time I would look in a different direction, I would see a scene that would make me think it was is a different US city.

After I had walked for a while, I came to a tall glass and steel building that was shaped like a pagoda where the elevated trail converged with other elevated trail and they were all like spokes going out from the pagoda.

I find out the pagoda is a museum and I decide to visit it. I walk around and fine an entrance into it, but a security guard standing by the door tells me that is the exit and points me towards a staircase and tells me I need to go down two levels to get to the entrance. I walk down two levels and then around the building like he told me, but then see there is a line stretching as far as I can see with people waiting to get in the museum. I decide I am not in a mood to wait and I will try coming back another day. I find another staircase and take it back up to the elevated trail I was walking on earlier.

When I get to the trail, I walk around the pagoda and try to figure out which direction I need to go. I walk around the outside of the pagoda a few times trying to remember which of the trails I took. I eventually see a sign pointing the trail to take to get to a mall, and I take that trail since I know my hotel is connected to a mall.

I walk for a while longer and then finally see the mall in the distance. When I get to the mall, there is a narrow black steel bridge with really low railings that connects the trail to the mall. I take my time walking on the bridge because I am worried about slipping and falling off of it. Although the bridge is wide enough for 2 or 3 people to walk on, it feels like I am walking on a tightrope and I am trying to be extra careful so I don’t loose my balance and fall off.

Eventually, I get to the end of the bridge and am in the mall. I find a mall directory and look at it to try to fine my hotel. I find a three hotels on the directory that are connected to this mall, but none are the Westin where I am staying. I see a mall security guard and ask him where the Westin Hotel is because I cannot find it on the directory. He starts laughing and the loudly announces that this is the Downtown Plaza Mall and the Westin is at the Uptown Plaza Mall. He laughs that I must have gotten really turned around and tells me it is about a 5-6 mile walk to get to the Uptown Plaza Mall where the Westin is.

As I walk away from him, a girl who looks to be in her late teens or early twenties approaches me. I am afraid she is going to ask me for money because she looks like she could be homeless with matted blonde hair and torn jeans. She says she overhead that I am trying to get to Uptown Plaza Mall and told me she and her mom are going there once they find their car, and they can give me a ride if I will help her look for the car. Before I have a chance to say yes or no, she calls her mom and tells her she has found a man who will help find the car if they give me a ride to Uptown Plaza. The girl then looks at the directory to try to figure out where they parked the car. In looking at the directory, I notice there are several different garages attached to this mall and the girl doesn’t have a clue which one they parked in. She says she and her mom are just checking all the garages until they find the car. She isn’t even sure which garages her mom is checking and which she is supposed to check.

We go to the closest garage and walk though all of the levels checking every parking spot, but the girl doesn’t see the car in any spaces. We go back into the mall and then find the next closest parking deck and walk though it. When we are on the 6th level, the girl gets really excited and says she has found the car. She then calls her mom and tells her she has found the car on the 6th level on the purple garage. She tells her mom where to find the car when she gets to that level and then says see you soon and hangs up the phone. She then leads me to a rusted tan 1970’s two door Oldsmobile with a cracked vinyl top which is covered with bumper stickers for different progressive causes. When we get to the car, I notice it is full of junk with just spots for the girl and her mother to sit. While the girl is trying to clear a spot for me by tossing stuff in the middle of the front seat to the back seat, I tell her that for the ride, but I can just walk so she doesn’t have to go through all of this trouble of making a spot for me in the car. She gets really offended and takes a break from cleaning out a space to ask if I am embarrassed to ride in the car. I tell her no, that I just hate for her to go through all of this trouble. She says it is no trouble and then goes back to cleaning junk of the tan vinyl bench seat.

When she finally has the front seat clean, she tells me to get in and points to the middle seat. She says she wants her mom to get to talk to me some and that she knows her mom will like me. I get in the car and scoot over to the middle seat and then she gets in the passenger seat and closes the door.

We then sit and wait in the car for a really long time for her mom. She call once and has gone to the wrong garage. We wait a while longer and then her mom calls again and again cannot find the car because she has gone to the wrong garage. After another long wait, her phone rings again and again her mom has gone to the wrong garage. This time the girl gets out of the car and I can hear her giving her mom landmarks to help her find the right garage. While the girl is out talking to her mom, I decide we are never leaving the garage and decide to go back to the mall and get an uber back to my hotel. When the girl gets off the phone, I tell her and she gets really offended and again thinks I am embarrassed to ride in their car and promises her mom will be to the car soon. I reluctantly get back into the middle seat and wait in the car with the girl. Her phone rings again, and I hear her tell her mom we are on the 6th level of the purple garage, not the green garage. We wait a while longer and then her phone rings again and I hear her tell her mom we are on the 6th level, not the 5th level. She tells me here mom is in the right garage and should be here any minute.

Soon a big disheveled woman with bleach blonde hair is opening the driver side door and sitting down in the driver seat. At first she seems oblivious that I am sitting next to her in the car and keeps ranting to her daughter about how hard it was to find the car. When she finally stops ranting, her daughter introduces her to me and reminder her they are giving me a ride to the Westin. I can tell this woman is bat shit crazy based on our brief conversation.

Eventually, the woman puts the key in the ignition and tries to start the car. After several cranks, I ask if the car is going to start and she tells me not to worry that it is always a process getting the car to start. While the woman keeps pumping the accelerator and turning the key without any success, I whisper to the daughter that I will just take an uber and ask her to let me out. She again gets really offended and tells me her mom will get the car started but it can take a while sometimes.

While I continue to sit between them while the mother keeps pumping on the accelerator and turning the key, I see her look down at my feet and then loudly tell me that she thinks I stepped in shit. I ask her or the daughter to let me out to clean my shoe, but they both tell me I can just clean it when I get there that they are not worried about their car being clean and that she wants to be able to go as soon as the car starts. I didn’t seem to bother either of them that I was sitting between them with shit on my shoe an I was stuck just sitting there with the shit on my shoe.

I work up from this dream still sitting between the woman and her daughter in the front seat of their old car in the parking deck and the woman trying to start the car but having no luck. I kind of felt like I was in the Sinefeld parking garage episode at the end of the dream because the car was hard to find and then wouldn’t start.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA/AP

I am in the mountains, heading to some camp with lots of kids. Zilla is there too and she organized a paper-chase game for the kids, inspired in Harry Potter and they are quite entertained following clues through paths in the mountains. But this is like a refugee camp, not a summer camp and we are on the move, running away from something dangerous.
I get a surprise visit by Nighthawk and I am so happy to see him. We sit at the entrance of a tent and as we talk, we lean towards each other and I can't resist to kiss him. Then we embrace each other passionately. Things are heating up so we head inside. But then some bad guys with guns invade the camp and we all try to run to safer places, unsuccessfully. They've surrounded us and they snatch a kid and kill him. They say they'll keep coming and kill us all one by one. Then they leave and we all start mourning. I sob in deep despair. I wake up from the dream because of my crying, I feel like I am sobbing in RL. But instead of really waking up, I go through a false awakening and end up in the astral plane. I am in the bed at my room in the attic, it is dark and something is off. I sense dark presences and I start hearing a baby crying. It's disturbing and it doesn't stop. I get up and sit on the bed as I hear steps of someone coming. I hope it is Riverstone, so I call for him but I get no response. As I start feeling sheer terror, I start yelling as loud as I can, trying to be heard in RL or wake myself up. I realize no sound is actually coming out of my mouth in my RL body. I freak out for a bit because I feel trapped and unable to communicate or get out. Until I decide to calm down and ignore the fear and the baby crying. I slowly wake up.


I am at my mom's with Riverstone, looking for some bird cages with different sizes that I know she has in the attic. We use it sometimes for rescue birds. I am shocked to find one tiny cage that only fits one bird standing, which has a parakeet inside. I can't understand how that is possible at all. These cages have been stored for at least a year. I rush to give water and a bit of kiwi to the poor bird and I can sense he is desperate. I can't wait to let him fly free in the room a little bit. He first falls on the bed as he is very weak but then manages to fly to the window and grab the metal frame of the window. I go get him to put him in a larger cage with food and water so he can recover, but he panics thinking I am going to trap him again in the tiny one. I also can feel all his bones and it is so afflictive.

I am investigating something with my friend. It is unclear what we are trying to figure out. This is in my old house before the remodel. It turns out I fell someone has been in the house when I am not there. He points out to me and my family bleach residue in both showers, Somehow this is evidence. No one has used bleach in the showers. He finds a bag of some sort of pellets that must be cleaning products. I do not recognize it. My adult son says it must have been (some women's name). I find out that while I go away working my wife has had a women and her child living in my house and eating out food. I am angry. Why am I supporting strangers. Why are they hiding this? My wife gets emotional and admits she has been having an afair with the women, but emphasizes only up to a point, unlike me when I did something with some Asian women (no relation to real life.) I wake up at this point angry and confused.

I had to defend someone against their angry abusive father. I fought him and tied him to a chair. For some reason I felt I had to stab him in the hand and leg so he would have trouble chasing us. The scene changes and I and others are crowded in a truck. My uncle is there. He is insisting his niece come out from a party. It is a dead end road. Her twin sister is there. She comes out from the party and is in a nice dress, He orders her into the bed of the truck. I object and let her have my seat and I climb into the truck bed. We start to pull out and I realize my car is parked there in the middle of the road. I try to get the driver to stop so I can move it. I realize it must be broken down. I am worried it will get hit or towed. Then I am in some farm building and the police have come to arrest me and the girl for stabbing her fathers hand. I can not remember what else happened. I am just wanting to journal a few dreams to get my recall engaged again. This was all totally non-lucid.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA/AP

With mom, going to the post office in what seems to be Lisbon. We cross a pedestrian crossing and I realize everyone is wearing mask but us. She starts to go inside the post office and I tell her we're not allowed inside without it, so better to cover the face with our shirts or something. Then some old lady comes to us in great distress, says something faintly to my mom and falls in her arms. My mom does the Heimmlich maneuver to her a number of times unsuccessfully. She says "maybe my daughter can do it, she is stronger, I can't continue". I do try a bunch of times, but the lady is losing conscience slowly and I am not getting any results. I give up and the post office workers say they are calling paramedics. I am upset only now they think about it. She is dead before they arrive, my mom is inconsolable, recalls the times she successfully saved grandma and other people with this maneuver. I reply maybe whatever was choking this lady was too far deep her throat and there was nothing we could do.
She goes home and I stay in the city. I go have a coffee at a bar, a really cozy place. I sit at a table by the window, sipping my coffee and writing down notes on a notebook, when I notice a guy in a table in front of me, listening to music and uttering the lyrics to himself. When he sees me looking, he thinks I am interested, so he starts flirting and singing the lyrics audibly. The song is very flirty too, so I get what he is doing, I find it really cheesy. I ignore him. But he keeps doing it and then he engages directly in conversation, asking me out. I reply coldly that I am not interested and he reacts like typically guys like him do: he can't understand why I possibly wouldn't want to go out with him and he insists and says I will eventually come around and realize what I am losing. I go outside, but I see a couple guys I know going his way, so I wait behind the door to hear what they have to say. One of them tells him I am tough to get, that they to have a crush on me and have been trying to get something from me since ever but we just have a cordial amity. They tell him from where I am, in case he wants to find me more often. I resent they did that, but at least they didn't give him my exact address.
I go away and by chance I find Tania sitting at a booth outside some nearby building, where I guess there will be some kind of event and she is checking people in. She is distracted with something and I touch something that is on the counter, like leaflets or tickets, trying to get some more info about what she is up to, and that's when she notices me. She is glad to see me, doesn't tell me what it is she is doing there, but she has a laptop or small tv screen playing black and white movie and she invites me to watch a Charlie Chaplin movie with her there. I tell her I am not so much in the mood.

I'm in Håkanssons old TV-room where Diego lives now. It's like before Diego moved in. I'm sitting on the bed under the TV, Therese is sitting on the couch in front of me and William is sitting on the couch to my left. I watch out a window behind William. It's only plain grass and a demolition machine with a wrecking ball about 300 meters from here. It starts to swing the wrecking ball and the chain that hold it is really long. It comes against us and I start to panick. The wrecking ball destroys the wall where William was next to. William and Therese are calm. Peter comes and I know that it was he who used the machine. William and Therese have full confidnece in him. The wall where Therese was is also destroyed. William equips working clothes and starts to put up temporary fences around the house. I walk out and inspect the fence. I look at some cords that are holding the fence together and see how they tangle themselves up in some roots in the ground. I try to fix them.

Notes: Dad and I tried to call William yesterday.

I'm at a party and those who party have bad energy. They are dressed as different Batman characters such as Batman, Joker and Harley Quinn. There is a pillar where someone is tied up. It is maybe me but I'm not certain. Some of them punch the tied man and the person dressed as Harley is doing some kind of dance against the tied man.

Notes: I looked at a batman game some days ago.

I'm about to play table tennis but my racket is wrongly designed. The table tennis rubber and the layer under the table tennis rubber have changed places with each other. The racket feels heavy and I am about to rip the upper layer off. My mom is behind me and urge me not to destroy the racket. I tell her that I'm about to fix it and she is okey with me fixing it now. I rip it of and I feel how light and good it feels now. The rubber has a lot of spinn in it. There are some people next to me who are playing against a wall. I feel how heavy their rackets are even though I don't hold them. I could be one of them too.

Notes: My life just got much easier and this dream symbolises how I am the one responsible for my well being.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Driving through the mountains at night, I see some rocks on fire. First I don't know what it is and then it occurs to me someone is trying to set the woods on fire. I go back to try to do something about it. I arrive at a crossroad I hadn't seen before and almost crash with a group of ladies walking from a nearby village. They are aware of the fire. They tell me it is some guy's revenge, trying to set fire to another guy's land. Fortunately the fire is put out by the villagers.

Sleeping at my mom's, sharing her bed with a bunch of kids, who look like my cousins when they were young and also some toddlers I don't know.

Have lunch with my grandpa. We bake tofu and potatos in the oven, enough for several meals or some more people, but granpda is eating like a hungry hippo and soon there is no food left. I get up to go to the kitchen to get something else, but somehow I end up at Axman's restaurant. He has friends over and he talks and talks. I get very sleepy sitting on his couch while I wait to get his attention. I decide to get out of there and catch some air. Find a bunch of kids from a school or after school activities, playing in a yard and I join them with curiosity for what they are doing. They are selecting toys to play and I fix a few toys and board games that had missing parts and defects. Then find a kid interested in a 3D chess kind of game and I suggest we play it. But it takes 4 people. I see 2 other older girls sitting and invite them over. I am supposed to find a table for us which to sit, but I have to walk a long walk until I find one, almost a block away, outside some kind of canteen or cafeteria. There are people in other tables discussing if people should get free housing and support if they have no money or if should be given money instead. A server comes with a large cake, asks if I want it. I say sure, but I need to go get 3 other friends to join me.

At some foreign country, I think eastern Europe, with some friends. I go shopping with them at a supermarket. I didn't pick up a basket at the entrance, so I am putting on the cashier's counter the food I already picked while I am desperately looking for breakfast cereals. The cashier gets mad at me and pressures me to either pay or just take things out of there. I finally give up and pay what I bought. My friends then take me to some alternative collective where movies are being screened on some warehouse. They tell me it is a Portuguese expats association, all nice people and with a good cultural program. But we don't stay. Outside they talk with a couple guys sitting on chairs welcoming the movie goers. I spot an annex open and filled with bags of cat food. They explain they have a resident cat colony and show me where they feed them in a back alley. But I only see one cat there at the moment.

I meet Riverstone on my way to the train station. We are kidnapped by some mafia guys and taken to a palace behind the train station, where they intend to torture and question us for some reason. But there is an earthquake or some other building just collapsed and we escape in the middle of the chaos. I am half naked as they ripped my clothes. We go through secondary alleys and we hide from people, until we finally get on the train and escape.

My uncles and cousins are coming to my house, which is quite different from reality. It is also rustic but has smaller rooms, more floors and is stuck in some old town in Scotland. First to arrive are my cousins João and Sara and I show them the kitchen and storage room, placed around an old furnace. My mom joins us then. She is excited, brings a dog and says there is another one just as cute and playful, but doesn't explain where they come from. Then my uncles also arrive and my mom goes away without a warning. I follow her, trying to figure where she is going and the rest of the family follows suit. She was just going to a pub nearby to get some fancy liquors to serve to the family members, but now we are all there with her, so we decide to just get some drinks right there. A police officer that was at the door warns us we are too many and not wearing masks and therefore we are breaking the rules. I get a mask from my pocket and I suggest my family they do it to, but nobody cares. I then spot a group of people I know, all dressed up like in the 20s. They are sitting in some sofas by a large window with an iron frame. Outside is snowing, looks postcard perfect and I join them. Realize that I don't match their outfits, as I am in my large boots and sweater. But they actually save the center seat for me and welcome me.

I'm walking in a forest with my family. Grandma E is also there. My mom holds a baby that I have never seen before. Mom walks in front of me and she starts to walk on a rusty iron floor that is elevated with some rusty iron rods, about 2 meters above the ground is a river we walk over. As I follow her on the iron floor she puts the baby on the elevated floor. We walk past the baby and leave it there. As we keep on walking the floor and rods start to wobble as we walk. I think about how we may crash down with this construction. I think about the baby and how it could be hurt. Mom is walking in a very clumpsy way so that the construction starts to wobble even more. I try to counter he wobbling with my own weight and balance. She says that I am doing a good job balancing the construction. The construction falls and I think about the baby. I'm by the river and lift the baby up from the water. It isn't sad even though it just dropped from a big fall. Recall gap. I'm holding the baby and washing it. I was able to wash it better than mom. Recall gap or new dream. I'm in a car with Gustav in the back seats. I have a hair spray and use it on my hair.

Notes: Haven't thought about grandma in a long time. The theme of saving children/babies once more shows up. Mom is sick now and is wobbling forward on her life. Maybe I can help mom balance her life so she doesn't fall? What would the baby symbolize then? Something that mom drops that I can save and wash clean? Yesterday my brother saw I movie. I watched some of it and there was a scene where a boy used hair spray

Notes: I woke up in the night and remembered the lucid and another dream. But then I forgot it when I woke up because I didn't write it down. I thought that I would remember it. From now on I'm going to suppose that all the dreams that I don't write down I will forget. Then I will probably write them down because I think my dreams are precious.

I'm walking out of Det Röda Huset and I'm under the tree. I'm lucid and know it's a dream. I lie on my back and hover over the ground backwards. The apple tree is big and prominent. The sky is purple with different layers of clouds, some of them are getting thinner and dissolving into purpleness. The quiet atmosphere is blissful and I am truly without a worry in the world. I think about how this is a dream. I imagine my real body lying in my bed and I see my sleeping face in the dream. I wonder what I want to do and fly up. I see a house with a window. I know there is someone inside so I try to break the window (my normal entrance into houses) but it's not working properly. It gets cracks but not enough. A big lady comes out from the door and tries to catch me. I lose my lucidity in the chase and I can't remember more.

Notes: I've been under that tree in really many dreams now. I am often lucid when I see it. I always get beautiful experiences when I'm lucid in Sturkö, it is an amazing place with many precious memories.

I'm walking in school and go to the guitar place. I want to see if the guitar is there. It is lying on the floor and I am feeling happy and relieved. Upon further inspectation I notice that the neck of the guitar is really thick. It is a steel-string acoustic guitar and I wonder why it got a thicker neck than a nylon-string guitar.

Notes: The school's public guitar has been missing for some days now and I often go and check if it has returned. Someone probably stole it or broke it which is sad because I really liked it.

The dream had begun around my mother's old house. We were walking on her street. I was next to the mailbox when I started to realize this was a dream. Everything became so vivid. I wasn't in control but I had the thought that it was a dream. The sky above was a beautiful light blue with the sun shining onto the clouds that made them a light orange. I walked up the street amazed at how vivid everything was. At the top of the street I got a better view of the sky and was in awe. I thought 'this couldn't be a dream, it seems so real.' I was so confused by how real everything seemed, I couldn't tell it was a dream. I turned left and walked down the street. I passed a dream character who acknowledged me, it felt like I was the main character in a movie and people were doing finger guns as they passed me. I walked up the hill and the same dream character I walked by would appear again and again each time I looked at them while they passed. We stopped by an old neighbors house and the same dream character was laying on a chair sunbathing.

I had a dream last night where I was helping with a clothing and supply drive at a large church that is in the town where I live now. It is not a church that I regularly go to, but I have some friends that go there and have been to some weddings there and also brough old clothing when they have had clothing drives.

When the dream started, I was waiting in the parking lot for people to come and donate stuff. When a driver would pull-up, I would take the items they were donating from them and then would carry it into the large fellowship hall where a bunch of people were sorting out donations and putting like items together. I was greeting people and taking the things they wanted to donate into the fellowship hall and if they requested it, giving them a receipt for their donations. It almost seemed like I was working at a Goodwill store, but I was at the church volunteering for them instead. In the dream, several people I know in my waking life were stopping by in the cars they drive now to donate stuff. I think the dream was set in the present time, although no-one was waring masks or social distancing so I think we were not dealing with COVID in the dream.

When the time period for people to donate had past, I went into the fellowship hall to see if I was done or if they needed more help. When I walked in, I saw that everything had been sorted and boxed-up. A big middle aged lady with greying blonde hair saw me and asked if I had time to help take boxes out to the truck. When I said I could, she pointed to the boxes that she wanted taken out first and then told me where to find the truck behind the building.

I then took as many boxes as I could handle and carried them out to where she told me the truck was. When I got to the truck, I saw it was the old half ton truck the city has let events I help run in my waking life borrow. I loaded the boxes into the back of the truck and then kept going back into the fellowship hall to get more boxes and brining them out to the truck.

It seemed like each time I went in to get more boxes, both the number of boxes and number of people in the fellowship hall were fewer and fewer each time I went in. I kept taking boxes out to the truck and then going back into the fellowship hall and getting more boxes and taking them out to the truck.

After taking another handful of boxes out to the truck, I started to walk back into the fellowship hall and saw the big lady and a chunky girl with long brown hair who looked to be 13-14 walking out towards the truck each carrying a box. The lady told me that they had the last two boxes and there was nothing else to load onto the truck. She then asked if I could help her tie the boxes to the truck bed.

I stood on one side of the truck bed and caught straps when the lady tossed them over from the other side and then hooked them in and tightened them. While we did this, the girl who had carried the last box looked on and I figured she was the lady’s daughter since she stood near the lady. As we were securing the boxes I learned that the lady was the outreach minister at the church and the girl was indeed her daughter.

Once we had the boxes secure to the truck, the lady asked me how much longer I could help. When I told her I could help until around 5, she told me that was great since she needed help unloading boxes at the rescue mission. She said it shouldn’t take more than an hour and that I could ride in the truck with she and her daughter and then lead us towards the passenger side of the truck.

When we got to the passenger side door, the lady opened it and then asked me to ride in the middle so her daughter could have the shoulder belt. I climbed into the cab which had the same cracked and worn tan interior and then moved over to the middle to make room for her daughter who then sat down next to me and buckled the shoulder belt. The lady then told us she needed to go lock up the fellowship hall and would be right back before closing me and her daughter in the cab.

While me and the girl waited in the truck for the lady to come back, she was telling me about other outreach things her mom handles at the church that she likes and was trying to encourage me to come out and help with some of them. While she kept talking I noticed that something smelled bad. I couldn’t decide if it was the interior of the truck that smelled or if the girl had body odor, so I didn’t say anything and tried to ignore it.

Eventually, the lady was getting into the truck and then playing with the key, accelerator, and stick shift trying to get the truck to start just like I always have to when I try to start it in my waking life. While she was fooling with the stick shift, I saw her staring at the floor and then she told me she thought I may have stepped into some poo. I woke up not long after she told me this, really embarrassed that some lady I had just met discovered I stepped in poo.

First true LD in over two months. No techniques used, no intention set, completely random.

In an ordinary non-lucid dream I somehow gained some awareness of my dream state but couldn't hold onto it. I faded in and out of lucidity and dreaming several times until I laid down and kinda WILDed in the dream - this has worked for me before.
A brief falling sensation and I 'awoke' on the sofa in my parents' living-room. Instead of doing a physical reality check I reminded myself that I wasn't sleeping in this place. It was pitch black and the dream rather unstable so I kneed down and touched my surroundings. As always, everything felt hyper-realistic but I still couldn't see a thing, so I crawled across the room towards the door.
Suddenly my parents' cat appeared in the dark (well, for her it wasn't dark...) and attacked my bare arms. I set the rebellious cat aside and finally left through the front door. Outside, it wasn't any brighter, so I went on feeling my way forward.

As I reached the street suddenly my vision got unlocked and I was standing in bright daylight with detailed surroundings. I wondered what I should do with my lucidity now...and longed for something intense. Flying? Nope, not stable enough. Then I knew...I had to kill my self here (*).
At the end of the road a woman started her car on the driveway and to the right there was a strange kind of agricultural vehicle with lots of sharp blades. I walked towards the car, staring fearlessly at the woman, wondering if she would fulfil my unspoken wish.
She looked confused and increasingly insecure, and I understood that I had to take things in my own hands. Without hestitating I ran the last meters and jumped straight into the machine's razor-sharp front.
No pain but a rush of adrenaline through my body... and I was awake.

(*) Note for anyone reading: This should be taken metaphorically; I'm not suicidal. Currently going through a major transformation process due to some other experiences so I'm getting quite a few metaphors about dying at the moment.

I'm at a café with Albin. I ask him if it's a dream and he is confused. I tell him that it's nothing and that it's just a RC. I look into my plastic cup and see a straw. I take it up and wonder if I should unwrap it. I think about how it is bad for the environment if I trash it without using it. I unwrap it anyways and suck in air with it. I walk to the counter and watch the trash can and wonder if I should throw the straw. I walk out to the street with Albin and find myself in Centrum by the big hill outside Partaj.

Notes: I woke up early and didn't remember much from my dreams. I did have a strong impression that I was lucid or something like it. I remembered this dream 30 minutes after I woke up. I haven't seen Albin in a long time.

9th November 2020

Initial note: Some parts of the dream were clearly about having to get ready in the morning but other parts felt more random. I didn't sleep through the whole night, having struggled to fall asleep and to stay asleep for most of the night, but only recalled the morning dream.

Dream:

The entirety of the dream takes place in what seems to be a subway and in some parts there's a feel of it being mixed with the layout of my old home.

I remember being naked and at one point there's some kind of mini game thing happening and

Spoiler for semi-graphic:

eggs are appearing like pickups would in a game, on the floor; I have to grab these eggs, about the size of a regular hen's eggs and put them in my vagina before they hatch by themselves, but apart from that I note that I am male. None of this makes me question reality and whenever I put one of these sort of off-green coloured eggs inside myself, they get pushed back out some moments later, feeling quite nice but with a somewhat "raw" sensation, on the edge of being an uncomfortable sensation.

And then the egg thing would hatch and a prize would come out of it, like a kinder-egg prize toy or something, but the prizes were completely random. As I kept doing this, things like bathroom spray cleaner bottles and other mundane objects would be "spawned" by the hatched eggs I was using. I think to myself very clearly "wow, it's almost like magic, but how do the companies make them appear as if they spawn from thin air from these comparatively very small eggs?" I add to the irony of this by then thinking "it must be some kind of quantum gateway tunnelling, I think", completely missing the cue.

Then I remember getting dressed with my usual clothes, the ones I'd be wearing today basically. I don't remember putting socks on but I know I hadn't put on a top just yet. I recall an escalator which I go down on, it goes a long way forward and not very far down so it has a very small degree of elevation per step. The subway area itself is very much like the ones I've been used to from my old home area but far more vast and of incredible depth/height. For a while I'm the only person in the entire place.

Then I hear dad calling for me and telling me about how we had to get on with it and get ready. (prior to this whole dream I had a waking moment where I had checked the time and it was still more than an hour's time away from my alarm going off) Mom is also here now and she's telling me about how T lost his citizen's card/ID in the subway just recently. I comment that I couldn't possibly lose something like that out of my wallet because it's all stuffed in quite tightly.

Dad seems disappointed that we (me and T or me and H?) weren't ready sooner, but I tell him it's not even 8AM yet and he doesn't really change his tune, insistent that we should be more prepared or something to that effect.

My recall faded a bit but eventually I had to go back to get a hoodie and I'm trying to not get lost in what seems to be an Escher-like maze quality that the subway seems to have. The entire underground area is very well lit but I'm left with an impression of darkness and recall the construction was primarily concrete, so it felt like a recent or cheap construction.

I recall that at some point, there were some more particular things that had hatched from my eggs; one was a bony black creature with wings, like a dragon, but not. It had a frayed look, worn. At first I genuinely thought it was a toy because it started out inanimate and in a sort of fetal position? But when it started moving around I began to hope it wouldn't cause any chaos or mayhem while we were away for work today (pre-lucid thought).

Another peculiar item that spawned from the eggs was a very authentic/official looking piece of scrap paper telling a military person who he should be looking at and what he should be doing when activating a nuclear arsenal. The paper had Spanish writing but it was mostly in English. The other military person mentioned was a "Dahlia" something or other, of an enlisted rank (sergeant comes to mind?).

At the top of this thick paper were two groups of Hebrew or Jewish 6-point stars and taking up the right half of the document were some watermarked bald-eagles or something, but the paper was torn around this area. I couldn't make up my mind on where this document could possibly originate from, thinking about Mexico, the USA, Israel and other places. But I remember being amazed by the document and trying to tell H about it in the dream.

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Notes:

- In the dream, I don't recall any of the "subway" area actually having any rail tracks. It just had the same feel as some stations I've been in, but on a bigger scale. I never did reach a terminal at any point in the dream, nor did I see any trams/trains. The whole place was very bare. Although subways used to be a common dream sign for me, they rarely feature quite as much as they used to a few years ago, probably since I don't use them currently.

- Apart from how it felt physically, there was nothing particularly sexual about the mini-game thing.

- I think part of what brought about the small dragon-like creature was the fact that H's cat had to have some emergency care very recently and so was looking quite "patchy" and ruffled when I saw a picture.

- Part of what brought about the very peculiar military document was probably because I was reading about colonising of the Americas in general last night and also looking at different maps about the subject. Dahl and its variations is a name I find interesting but apart from the similarly named Borderlands fictional military-arms company, I'm not sure what would have prompted a character to be called Dahlia in one of my dreams, but it's not the first time a random word has been put together.

- Although I don't recall what it was anymore, something did happen if I didn't use the eggs and just allowed them to hatch by themselves and from my perception (with it being a mini-game of some sort) this was "bad".

- At the time of this dream I had recently been speaking to a transgender friend of mine, whom I hadn't spoken to for quite some time.