All DJ Entries

summary:
no dreams
further questions
planning



Pretty tired. Probably typos, probably lots of things I've missed. Probably even ideas that I'm not conveying properly, or it may even offensive for some reason to some people but it's just a typo or miscommunication; I hope you with your glowing heart of gold can understand my linguistic shortcomings with sleep totaling less than 8 hours in the past 3 days and with English being my third language. You don't have to read it you know? You really don't if you dislike me, or the way I write. But we're all just doing our best to get better at lucid dreaming aren't we? Can't we all just be friends? Allies and compadres working towards our each individual goals? I don't know why. Some people get mad, just because of the way I write. Is it just the excess use of commas or something?
Maybe I'm asking too much. I'm sorry if I am. I love you, and thanks for giving the time of your day to read my thoughts, my struggles, and realization of my lucidity.



Recall
I slept much like the previous 2 days. I planned to do a WBTB after 5 hours of sleep since I didn't do WBTB (intentionally) for a couple of days now. I set the alarm but I awoke probably after about 3 hours or so. I wanted to go back to sleep but I noticed. I noticed that I was having that laziness of becoming unaware. So I fought that urge. Not exactly sure how long. Maybe 5-20 min. So I decided to get up. Might as well get a glass of water and become aware, then go back to bed. I proceeded to grab water, then went back. When I came back I wanted to meditate a little to refresh my mind. Did it my legs felt a bit numb and I let go of tension and attachment. Not much tension but more attachment. I went back to bed to sleep. But I had thoughts. I was thoughts about what I'd written the previous day. About “how would I do it?” I thought to my self how would I do things differently. I also had a tiny thought that maybe I would just get no dreams again tonight. Some thoughts came up. I was trying to sleep but I just decided to write them down. I really believed they were good ideas. Because something felt like it clicked in me. I just jotted a bit and went back to bed. I laid there and the wbtb alarm went off. I really didn't feel sleepy so I thought I might as well complete my ideas and so I did that. I thought that this was more important. More important than just ensuring a lucid dream today. Because thinking as the version of me that's super at lucid dreaming, would I care if I missed one? I wouldn't right? If I had a great idea that made me better at it long term, I'd totally go for that. And besides, if I took a short nap or two later on, I'd have a pretty good chance to get lucid anyways right?



In the end I didn't go back to bed, didn't really feel that sleepy. Maybe it's because I'm getting better at meditation. No dreams. And I never, almost never have such little dreams. Except for before on two different cases:
1 if I meditated too hard the day before or
2 if I was trying out a polyphasic (like multiple wbtb) schedule with 2 hour sleep total a day.
I guess #1 did happen
I feel like this thought is beginning to trail for too long. I'll try to wrap it up.



Could try to recall a dream from few days ago again. Maybe just 1 since I'm a little tired.



Dream from few days ago:
I was on the second floor of a hotel building. Maybe it's like a motel. Somewhere in between. Could be like a hotel/condo/apartment/motel. But let's just say it was a hotel. It had 2 floors and the whole building was rectangular and the middle of it was hollow with a garden of ornamental plants and grass. So imagine a wall build around a garden, but the area that would be a the wall, the inside parts of it would be where the doors to the rooms were. Styled like tropical asian country sort of feel. The plants were tropical. The top floor had ledge around it that you could look at the garden by looking over it. I looked down at the garden form the entrance of my room which was at the very end of the building. The first floor was reserved for VIP for some reason. I think it was because it had the garden.



Looking down, I began to see gators, many alligators just chomp plants there for some reason. One of the plants were unknown and the dream told me that, or it asserted non-verbally to me, that the plants sort of mind controlled the alligators. It was a short shrub around the height of my wrist and hand, not as wide. About the wrist length wide. It was light green and very leafy, looked very soft. It was then that I noticed that the residents of the first floor were also sort of mesmerized by these plants. It was like they were mind controlled by them. Couple of us went down there to drive them away, but it wasn't easy. There were so many of them and the grassheads (people that were controlled by the plant), were just resisting us in a very united manner. Fought our way through, I'm not sure how. Memory foggy here. I know stuff happened just this part is unclear now.
But I ended up near the room right under mine, or the one next door to mine. We were huddled up in a sorft of a corner that was near the room like this “ [: “ where the colon would be about the 4-6 of us with a bit of a deeper caved in area for us to huddle.
To my immediate left was Samuel Jackson there. He was telling me something important. Telling me something in the tone of “Be what you want to be” or “go for what you want”, something like that. But I told him “but I failed, and failed so many times... I wasn't sure if I could do it.” He just looked at me in silence. I began crying. His eyes. They said they believed in me. His strong piercing eyes – he didn't need to say a thing to tell me exactly what he wanted to say. He gave me time to let it sink in. He gave me time so that I could release, to let my emotions out.



I woke up feeling really released.






Lucidity
*Thoughts I had after wbtb, I feel like it's related to lucidity.



Maybe what I wrote is too long. I'll shorten it to get the basic idea of it down here.
If I was lucid dreaming at the highest level, how would I deal with non-lucidity? Instead of looking at what I did right to get lucid, I'd look at what I did wrong. Assuming that I'd be pretty much always lucid, then the cause of unawareness would be easy to identify. Maybe Something in that dream made me unaware. And if it's related to a specific object or a person, then I could identify that and improve on that. But what if I didn't have dreams to recall of today or could not find the answer in the dreams? I'd look at the day's event before and check at what moment I was more unaware and try to improve on that. Focus on that one thing, perhaps a specific task or when conversing with a specific person or something like that. Then I'd single mindedly improve only one that thing until I perfect it. Instead of trying to get everything, I'd focus on only one. Yet on that one thing I'd practice it over and over till perfection.
For instance, if I wanted to learn a new song, I'd learn it syllable by syllable, each word and letter and sound. Work on one tiny spot at a time. And it wouldn't take very long to reach that specific perfection – my own perfection that I seek. But If I were to try to sing all of the song at once, and just repeat it over and over and over again. I'd never improve. While former may take only a day, the latter, I could take weeks and months and it could still suck then, progress might just plateau just because I'd be so bored of listening to that same darn song so many time over and over again.
And isn't that the same with All Day Awareness? Trying to do it all, all of it perfectly at once? Wouldn't it be the same? ADA could be achieved in very short time. But without a plan it wouldn't make a dent on progress.
And maybe that's “how” hukif did what he did. Because from what I've read of his statements on how he achieved what he did, it would mirror what I've just written. Maybe if he was to read this, maybe he could answer it since I can only guess. But I recall him saying, he was pretty lazy with his GRC and just practiced when he felt like it. But he practiced just that one thing. He didn't try to do it all day long. He just focused on that tiny piece of thing until he reached his own perfection.



But on second thought, no , that probably isn't the same thing. Because it's easy to just learn a song from someone else because you have something to reference. But this is more like writing your own song from scratch. You not only have to have inspirations, but also so many more things. It take time. Emulating another might work though, if we had a way to know exactly how someone who's really good at ADA or lucid dreaming go about their thought process in a very thorough detail. Obviously you can't go about recording their dream experience or their though process in real time, so instead perhaps their day to day thought process. For instance, if we were able to have a record of say, someone who's mastered the stuff, their entire thought process for the day, or maybe even them having a go pro, let's say for one day if they were to commentate their whole day as they go through. It'd be like this:

LD'er: “Oh, we just walked by a tree didn't we? I was thinking... blah blah blah and I decided to reality check here because, blahb blah blah... and that's why I know I'm not dreaming”
It'd be kind of like a stream of just regular “life of LD'er”
or like a hourly report of their thought processes.
It's probably asking for too much but an interesting idea nonetheless. I wouldn't mind paying to watch that though honestly.









Goals:
Follow my own advice from earlier statements. Find that one thing. Or actually ask yourself what that one thing you should focus on becoming aware of is. And don't rush. Just take your sweet declicious time to decide what you want to focus on. Because I always rushed to try to improve something. Without really feeling it, thinking it through. If it takes a day to figure it out then so be it. And if a week that's fine too. Take however much time you want.
It'd be like just painting the walls without really having a plan or a vision. I could paint every color I find and it would look horrible. It would take a while go through each color by trial and error. when I could have just imagined how it would look like in my head, or even just photo shop the color on.


Again, just take some time and ask yourself how you'd do it.

**STICK with what you're doing though. I think it's working. It doesn't matter if last few days resulted in no dreams. It doesn't matter. You can always go back to what you were doing before and go back to your regular mediocre amounts of lucidity. But follow through this thing you're doing until the 23rd. I can't explain it. It's like within me, something is just telling me that it's working. I'm not getting any negative feelings or thoughts like "this isn't working" from this. That none of these temporary shortcoming actually mean anything. Am I actually doing exactly the right thing? You'll succeed, and even if you fail, you learn something and only get better.

So what's left there to say? Stop thinking. Do that which you do in full confidence, ease and grace in your own divine perfection.

Faded into another dream this morning after a WBTB. It started with the sensation of motion; of moving forward. Ran around inside a building from an assailant. Exited through two doors to find the building was 30,000 feet in the air. I knew I was dreaming; yet, the feeling of being so high in the air and the gravity was enough to dissuade me from jumping out the building and attempting to fly. I knew that if I jumped, the feeling of falling would wake me up immediately. Kind of like Inception, no?

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Turns out I am a lost daughter of Trump. Because of that, I am spending some time with his lunatic family and entourage. He has gone full bananas and now wears some hippy tunics and is all "peace on earth". He says he learned from me how to become more like a human being and loving animals and so on. Tells me a story about some horses he saw being mistreated and how he felt compassion for them and suddenly became a better person, but as always, he is just inflating his ego even more with the fake notion he now has empathy. I later tell this story to my group of friends and we laugh and laugh of his lack of notion.
He later brings me 3 pairs of used shoes he got second hand somewhere, thinks I might like them and wants to impress me with his low waste, humble attitude. I do like the shoes, but then he also says if I am going to be part of his family and get my part of his inheritance, I need to go through a makeover and become more fancy. I wonder what inheritance, as he is broke and full of debts. He says more hilarious things that I share with my friends again, but they are too busy to keep paying attention to what I say. They are trying to get us inside a studio where some children show with karaoke singing is being taped. Since they can't get us officially in, we break in and literally mingle with the kids that are dancing in front of camera. No one seems to notice or care and they just keep taping. Then one of my friends joins a group of kids singing the opening music on and she messes up. That's when they decide to kick us out but she complains they had the notes all wrong and isn't her fault. They start getting pissed. But what takes them over the top is when I acidentally spill ans ashtray full of ashes over the director's snacks that are on a table.

I'm going back home and a neighbor and friend of mine is kicking out her boyfriend from her house, who happens to be the son of a Mayor or something, so he has a bunch of heavily armed bodyguards all the time around him. She not only is throwing out all his clothes and stuff, but the most hilarious is how she also throws away the security dudes out of the window as if they are pieces of trash.

Some friend of mine, who works on trains, finds out a secret hideout where they keep money during commutes. It is a cabinet somehow embedded in a wall behind the door mechanism. It is only acessible when train stops and the doors open, and to access it, one has to hve very slender arms. He somehow convinces me to steal the money so I try and reach the money, but then notice a camera pointed at that spot. I then see a chance to access it from as opposite (much harder) position, where only my arm will be on camera. I retrieve the money, it is a very nice pile of 20€ bills, þut I put it back, because if we steal it now and they go check the secutiry footage, they'll see my face. I tell my friend we have to do it some other time, on a different train and schedule, so when the money goes missing, they don't eventually identify us when checking older videos.

At some event, I don't know what it i,s but aome of my friends and old colleagues from school are there. At the end of it, Melania Trump grabs a mic and starts singing a Whitney Houston song with an angel voice. Everybody gets up in ovation and even those who dislike her comment how amazing it is that she had this hidden talent. But I don't buy it. I clap unenthusiastically and I am sure there is some guy hiding and playing a recording. She is a liar all the way, she can only be scamming us all to buy some admiration. But I fail to prove it. When leaving this party I get stranded from my friends and end up watching a kid playing a videogame. It is about a fantasy world and characters are a couple amphibian elf-like beings who live in undergroung caves. They live away from humans, in caves filled with water, but they enconter a small group of humans also inhabiting an underground world that can only be acessed through an underground river, so they are very much isolated from the world. I become one of those elvish beings and start living the story in their own skin. We encounter these humans when we reach a cave that is semi empty of water and has a stairway carved in the rocks where we spot some humans. We engage with each other. They welcome us to their world, they show us their caves. We ask if they ever go outside and they show us an access they have to a greenhouse on the surface, that is inside what looks like a zoo. The greenhouse is inside an enclosure where aupposedly should be animals but there are none. The place also seems abandoned so they go there to see sunlight and some outdoor greenery but they never venture outside, and they avoid being seen by outside humans, I don't know why.
Then I start understanding they are some kind of fascist group with some weird flags that look very similar to nazi flags and I meet their leader and realize they are hiding because the rest of humanity thinks they went extinct and doesn't know of their existence and hideout. I feel very uncomfortable and tell my partner we should go.

I go back to the outside world and Donald Trump won election after recount with about 6000 votes. I say it is not possible as he was losing by 5 million, but networks are all confirming it and I say in despair that I want to get out of this horror alternative universe.

I had 4 lucid dreams and one false awakening where I tried my best to wake up.

Summary
new format
dreams
excessive->laziest way

I was thinking maybe a new format of DJing could be better. Categorizing them by a past/present/future or recall/lucidity/goal format. This way the past/recall part would be recalling dreams, the lucidity/present part would be the parts that analyzes times if I stayed present, and reasonings as to why I didn't get lucid sort of thing. And the Future/Goal would be the parts where I would put down dream goals I have or things I want to improve. I was thinking this might work better maybe.

I'm doing it because I feel like I lack goals in lucid dreaming overall and this might help. I'll experiment a little and see how it goes.

Recall/Dreams:
dream: I remember in some sort of office building and there were about 3-4 people there. I remembered more right when I woke up in the middle of the night but I didn't write it down.

notes:
It's funny because my recall is worse the 2 days since I started writing more in detail. You could chalk it up to the less sleep from last night but I can't really go around blaming that. I suppose I'll try to go in more details about the dreams I had a few days ago just to get some exercise on that recall part of my brain.

I remember being in a bedroom I haven't been in before. It was smal and dark and I was facing North? There was a small bed there, not sure if it's twin or single but I think ti was a twim size. It was dark since it was in the afternoon, a sort of sunset lit up through the tiny creaks from the dark brown curtains. I'm just looking forward. I look back at the door to the left and then I immediately feel a sort of wetness. I feel a hand rubbing some kind of oil or lubrication on me. It was like a massage or a prelude to a massage. It felt kind of nice and I wondered who was doing this. So I decided to look behind me and it was the grandma next door. Interesting.

-I think I saw the next door grandma outside doing yard work few days ago. That might be the source of this dream.
…
Dreams from a few days ago
It was a young brother and sister duo. They were transported to another world. I forgot who I was but I saw through their eyes. The ground was made of dirt and there were some folks around dressed in sorto f clothing you find in fatansy stories in villages. It was In like an outskirt of the town without and buildings and whatnot. I wasn't sure why we were transported here but some of our belongings or keepsakes. Like little stuff or accessories we had gained some sort of unique magical abilities. People wanted it and they fought over it. With swords and spears. It was like medieval style dull steel armors and bits of leather, a rounded skullcap. We ran. We ran away and tried to find one of our belongings. Iforget what it was but it was something like an earring- an accessory of sorts. This particular artifact had the power to likely transport us back to our regular world and we wre looking for it.


We entered a dark abandoned looking building. It was some sort of a hideout of this group. With an evil sorcerer as the leader who kept our artifact. He was an old man, with a bald head and wore some dark colored robe with some kind of staff. I can't remember exactly how the staff looked like but the bottom part was wood. He sent the soldier after us and we ran past them in the narrow corridors until we got to the sorcerer. I'm pretty sure there was some sort of magic going on. The sister cast some sort of magic that shook the people around us and we grabbed our artifact and we got back. I think it was maybe a stuffed rabbit. A keychain stuff rabbit.

Oh I remember just now that, after they went back home, they were on some kind of a tour bus for field trip or something like that.
…
A boy and a girl again. Third person? This took place inside a school. Looked like a middle school in Japan. The two were friends and I they were trying to decide on what club to take starting their freshman year. They left their homeroom and headed to their left, my right, east? To the ends of one side of the school. I think it was on the third floor and they ended up in a smaller classroom about the half the size of their homeroom. It was like a book club room. A sort of a manga club? But that was just a facade they put up. They were a secret martial arts occult training club and the boy... I should give them a name just so it's easier to type. The boy we'll call him Shou, and her Sakura. I'll give them Japanese names since it appears fitting for this location.


So Shou was pretty excited about this and wanted to join. Maybe this was an occult club or something. I forget. But he was pretty stoked and ended up shooting like a energy blast from his hand after following the instructions in the texts disguised within the books. Now Sakura wasn't interested at all, and she wanted to leave. But Shou wanted her to try it out too and she was pressured into it. While His energy blast was some kind of yellow ball, the size of his fist, hers was a magnificent beam that was much more powerful. She was just a genius at this.


A bunch of stuff happens. You know. Some evil group wanting to take over the world sort of thing. And she ended up saving the world. It was some great evil like a demon that led a group of followers that had similar powers.


Anywho our club member and our protagonists end up saving the world. I remmber the ending scene was also a classroom. I think it was sort of cut in half so you could see the outside. But the last episode of this story took place in their homeroom I think. The world was saved, the end.


Only time rewinds. Shou gets sent back in time. Or goes back in time? We're back at the beginning of the story, right before all this happens. They still go to the club, but this time he wanted to be the main hero instead, he just wasn't satisfied that Sakura and not he was the main source of power that saved the world. He tried harder this time. I recall a scene where he fought one of these energy users. Maybe we'll call them spirit users. The spirit user had a sort of book open and he floated. He was some sort of summoner or necromancer. This was in the middle of the city at a night time. I gues it wasn't the big city, but rather something closer to suburbs. Because Although there were tall glass business highrises, they were lit up at night with vibrant colors like the big city. He chased us through the city streets and to some small park I think.

I think I just woke after that
...


The next one was a story about a young boy in a small village. Much like tha fantasy setting before. But it was a much more brighter tone story kind of a world. A young village boy we'll call him... Bow. So Bow was a young village boy about the age of 9 or so. He was a sort of a troublemaker, running around and causing trouble for his grandpa. Most things in this town was made of wood. Infrastructures made of just huge pieces of whole lumber. I think they were like the outer walls of the village made to protect them or something. He'd climb up and run across those high spots and no one could catch him. I forget what but something happened. Something to his grandpa. It turns out though his grandpa was a hero that saved the world apparently. I think he found this out when he found some sorta old sword inside the house.

Anyways now the great evil has come upon us again and it was up to him to save the world this time. Sort of foggy memory from here.
...

I was on some sort of an adventure. I summoned a familiar or something like that and she formed a contract with me. We knew each other in the beginning of the dream apparently but I'm still recalling them. She had glistening smooth white hair and pair of tiny jetblack horns out of the top of her head slightly above her temples. A striking beauty, beyond the measure of mere mortals carrying the kindest loving eyes that warmed your heart. 4 Jet black wings? or something like that. And she said with this, now we can be together forever!

Lucidity


Didn't get lucid. Because I decided to get back to sleep after I awoke once. I wanted more sleep really, not much else. I could blame the fact that I only got like 40 minutes of sleep yesterday, but I can only blame myself really. I wasn't even that tired and it was due to my own laziness that I didn't have good recall, nor lucidity. Maybe that's getting lucid in a nutshell; The always striving to break out of auto-pilot. Staying aware, and not getting lazy.


Goals

My feelings tell me that maybe very detailed Djs everyday might be excessive. Should I just convert it into detailed Djs only weekly? Like short stuff daily. With Weekly review of the most exciting dreams in more detail. Or monthly? Or maybe even just jotting daily, and doing the detailed DJ only once weekly? I feel like maybe that's a good idea. Either way I'll still stick with daily DJ until the 23rd.

My Goal is to do it all in the most fun and effortless way. The best way to do it should be the most effortless and lazy way right? Because planning for the long term, anything too excessive or too much effort can't last forever. Sure, they might make you get better in the short term, but what if you stop because you don't have the time to practice them anymore? The most fun and lazy way and effective way , because then even with time constraints, you'd be able to do it masterfully.

The question is not "how do I do it?" or "how can I do it?" Instead, "how would I do it?"

Because the first question implies I'm asking for something unknown. Like asking someone else how to do something. But the second implies that it's something that's a part of me. Because if I "would" do something, I'd do it slightly different from others. My "own" optimal way, not the way someone else does it. And while it might be very similar indeed in external appearances, yet it feels and differs ever so differently from my own perspective.

And that may be the difference between wanting and being. Wanting implying that which you don't have, while being would mean you doing it your own best way that is in true resonance with who you are.

So go imagine what that's like.

I did recall a lot more dreams but they faded fast... Should I jot notes again? My life is too busy for that.

Jamie 1

Was dosing off. Saw her looking and me from the shadows. I saw her face and the outline of her amazing hair. She didn't seem to happy or anything just neutral.

Jamie 2

Can't remember what i was doing in the dream. Jamie was there but she was in her distant phases and vanished from the dream.

Lucid

I was with Victoria (The younger one) from work. We were by the lethbridge Hospital at night. We went across the street to the building where they hold AA meetings. There was a hidden door or something and we went into some hidden rooms. I knew this was impossible so i became Lucid. Victoria vanished somewhere. I wasn't interested in her. I wanted to look for jamie. I found myself at a window and then I was outside. I was thinking of how to find Jamie when everything started going black.

I better get back into stabilizing dreams and doing Time Dilation again. i'm surprised i"ve been lucid shortly every week with my method of wbtb.

Lucid dreaming can be fickle, y'know. All I do is a WBTB, I just focus on going back to sleep because I had work to get up for. I wasn't even trying to lucid dream. Some time passes and I sort of "load" into the dream like a game or turning up the brightness on a monitor. I mean one moment, I am visualizing myself looking into the mirror, I get the feeling that I can focus on it more, then the dream fully loads around me. I am not going to wonder what technique that was.

BUT the BIG BIG thing here for the first time in a loooong time - maybe ever, I stabilized the dream past 30 seconds. What I did this time around was focus on the details on the back of my hands. The feeling of walking on the ground. The feeling of the clothes on my body. Sounds. Anything. I tried very hardest not to do any thinking inside the dream. I went searching around for a dream guide. I knock on a door. No answer. I knock on a window and I guess a woman who was the mother told me they were at school. So I spend the rest of the dream wandering around my neighborhood for about 10 minutes.

15th November 2020

Fragment:

A vast and somewhat empty place apart from some abstract platforms as I recall. There was a "sky" made up of pastel colours, light oranges, pinks and blues.

There was a demon queen, or something. She looked mostly humanoid and had purple skin? She wore some ornaments or accessories like gold bangles and chains but apart from that she must have been almost naked. She was bigger than me but not a lot bigger. Thought I suspected so, I asked her midway through some conversation if we were in an alternate dimension, to which she answered yes.

The demon queen and I were on one side of... a table? Not sure. And opposite from us were two other people, maybe a couple. The queen was able to alter or modify certain traits with some species like humans and elves, but not dwarves. But these two other people looked human even though one was supposedly an elf and the other a dwarf. So I asked her, what if they have a child together, could that child be altered in the same ways?

(recall gap)

Vague recall of an office-like place, either from the inside or the outside.

---

Notes:

- My last journaled dream featured mystical aspects like demons, but the setting and context were entirely different. The theme here was of a more medieval/fantastic aspect, by comparison.

- Unfortunately, I couldn't retain recall very well with this dream so I've completely lost any details that would be left of the other characters and the dream location.

- The demon queen as a dream character had some aspects relating to my own personal interests in transmutation and transformation. The purple skin may have seemed random when I first recorded the dream but in retrospect that element is present in some characters I've created and is a colour I generally like, although her skin's hue was a bit brighter/lighter.
-- "Queen" was an implied intuitive feeling about the character, not something that was mentioned or explained literally.

- There was a feel of "sunset" to this dream and there were no changes in light while in the platform dimension.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening / astral projection


We moved to an apartment in Alverca. The house is nice and big, but we look through the window and I only see other buildings right in front. I recall we moved here so to be closer to mom. She is seeing the house for the 1st time and she is impressed by the size of the rooms. She lays on the couch in the living room and says that's what she'll be doing on weekends when she comes by, but I notice she is sad and so am I. More than sad, I feel depressed and oppressed, remembering the beautiful green landscape we no longer have around. I miss it so much and think we made a mistake.

Travel back in time with a couple friends, kind of accidental. We find ourselves in USA around the 1900s, I think in Washington. We end up in the house of a lady and her daughter who have some kind of family factory they inherited and are trying to get back to work, having to fight back all the discrimination against independent working women. They are determined to make it work and we help them. Right now they have men reconstructing their old mansion and its quite chaotic. I go for a walk with one of my friends and we pass by historical buildings like the Senate and I ask her "Doesn't this feel like you real life now? Don't you feel at home here?" And she says "no", looking surprised. I explain that I enjoy so much this slow paced world and she says she misses the internet. I laugh and agree, that's the only thing that really is hard not to have. But we agree we don't miss tv or any of other technological advances. She still says she wouldn't want to stay. I say I would and I imagine I'd use it to try to change so many things. I see myself writing books to influence the mentality of people in the future.

I'm outside with Elin from the ensemble. We talk and it feels really good to be with her. She tells me that she has to leave me. I follow her to a tree and she tells me she lives there. She has to sleep in the tree almost the whole day. I don't want to leave her. There is a small hole in the tree that at first doesn't seem to fit for her. She enters the hole and I give her a saw. She seems sad to leave me too. I ask her if there is a time I can come to visit her each day so we can spend time together. We discuss some really bad times when I have school and in the middle of the night. I think it would be best if we meet in the morning. Recall gap. At some point I try to save her from evil men with guns.

Notes: I always thought Elin was cool. I haven't seen her in a long time.

I'm with the missionaries in church.

Notes: I have seen the missionaries a lot in the past weeks.

I'm just about to do a RC and suddenly I'm in my bed stretching out my hand in order to pinch my nose.

Notes: I'm not sure if I actually did the RC when I woke up. It might have been a FA.

Agent
Night of November 11, 2020

We had rushed inside one of the houses at the end of the road. It took a while to get our bearings. By the air of conversation coming from one of the rooms on the back, I could tell the owners were unaware of our presence. B stood behind me while I looked back on the door; I opened it ever so slightly until it allowed a small peek through to the other side. Below the thickness of light were vehicles among the rest of homes that lined both sides of the street. My eyes panned side to side; not a single soul stood out in the close vicinity, and that was concerning. They were nowhere to be found.

And then, by mere chance I caught the shadowy figure of a man. He emerged from a corner between the third and fourth houses to the left of the street, and soon after followed not one but five more men. Their sleeveless and greasy shirts were disgustingly magnified by the ammo belts running across their chest. One of them, the closest to the entrance, raised his weapon in victory as he kicked the door from its hinges. The crew forced their way through the threshold while I looked back in horror. With my back against the exit I shut the door close. I could barely think straight; B hadn’t moved an inch.

"They're coming," I said.

B trailed after me as we moved to the back of the house where we found a group of three women sitting around a table.

“We need to move out of this house.” I warned them.

“They’re going to be here any minute now and if they find us, we’re done.”

But the three women ignored me and continued their conversation without a care in the world. As a matter of fact, I don’t think they even heard me. I signaled B and we hurried out of the place through one of the windows. We walked for a while and it wasn’t long when we came upon a stretch of land. An assembly of bodies in black suits covered the space wide. I don’t know why I looked back. The three women's residence was a two-story structure that housed a large balcony overlooking the field. Up on the platform my eyes locked with one of the mercenaries. I diverted my gaze immediately and pulled us both near the crowd of people. But it was too late now. As if taken from one of the Matrix movies, I saw two agents drop to the ground. We had been found.

I turned back only to determine the distance between us as we ran for our lives. The agents chased us to a building which I barely recognized (after waking up) as my old middle school. The old place had a layout consisting of four floors of interconnecting corridors organized in a rectangular pattern. I had taken B up and down countless sets of stairs, through narrow passages and broken-down classrooms. But no matter how much I tried we couldn’t lose them. Eventually, our haphazard escape meant it was only a matter of time before one of us lost sight of the other.

Alone and terrified I ran as fast as I could. Before reaching the end of the hall, I found a short space on the lower left wall near one of many locked doors. I shoved myself into the crammed space and crept my way inside into an abandoned classroom. Within the darkness I barricaded myself with pieces of decayed old wooden chairs, broken tables, and any other mess I could find. I crouched behind the dusty window of the door and awaited in silence. The close stomps from one of the agents could be heard from barely a few feet away. The sound of footsteps came from the right; they stopped directly in front of me, then resumed on the other side, dying out the further they went. Slowly, I raised my head from the ground. We were already deep into the night. The dirty window made it almost impossible to see but, there was no mistake that the quivering figure standing on the third floor, on the other side of the school, was none other than B himself, taken into custody by one of the agents.

I had to go back for my friend. I retreaded slowly away from the door, and then I realized the back of the room had opened itself to a parking space abutting a roadside hotel. The place had a set of stairs to one of the upper floors. The sounds approaching from the neighboring guest rooms startled me, so I took cover, crouching behind the wall at the bottom of the steps. A young man crossed from side to side not before stopping midway after noticing me. He shared a puzzling look. Realizing the awkwardness of the situation I stood up almost immediately and played things off as if nothing had happened. The young man continued, and I followed him up as he turned the corner on the left and entered through the doors to the public restroom. As I did, it became clear to me that this was all a dream.

The place I was in wasn’t anything special, save for a very distinctive feature. I discovered it by watching the young man from before, the moment he sat on the floor in front of a mirror above one of the sinks. Without any interaction on his part, the mirror turned itself on like any other T.V. I was surprised at what unfolded in front of me. But before I did anything else, I had to ground my lucidity inside the dream.

“Where is my body?” I asked.

“My body is lying in bed. I am dreaming.”

“What date is it?”

“It is the 11th of November.”

With renewed clarity, I approached one of the mirrors. As I grabbed it, the object twisted and shrank to a size perfectly fitted to my grip. Like a tablet, I held the mirror and stared at it. Nothing out of the ordinary happened; my reflection looked perfectly back at me. The young man watching T.V. was still there, withdrawn from anything or anyone around him. I didn’t know what to do with this thing. But then, an idea popped inside my head. Could I use an object like this, especially a mirror, to look into another space in the world, maybe use it as a medium of transportation? Say I want to travel to a different location, perhaps the mirror could facilitate a much needing proposition. But how do I get this thing to work?

First, I would need to think of the place I wanted to see. I initially thought about the old school, but at this point lucidity was slipping away and it was hard for me to keep a concentrating effort on the task at hand. The old school brought memories of my friend B, and with a little effort I thought I could use the mirror to look back to where exactly he was being held prisoner. The distance wasn’t long, and maybe I could get back to him by use of the object in the span of an instant. I regained a little awareness after this and attempted my escape. However, whatever I tried, I could not get past my own reflection in the mirror. I thought directly on where I wanted to go, tried to imagine the place I had been previously; I even turned away for a second, then looked back, hoping to see something other than my face behind the small piece of glass, but I failed time and again. It’s as if I didn’t actually believe such a thing possible. Absurd. This was a dream. Impossible had no meaning within the confines of my own mind. And yet, doubt was a hurdle difficult to eradicate. But my mind wasn’t having it no more. Confusion formed inside a cloud that blurred my judgement, disconnecting my mind and sliding me away into the mindset of non-lucid.

The dream continues non-lucidly.



Dipping One's Toes at Dream Control: My First Attempts
Night of November 12, 2020

I stopped before the stairs of my house, observant of whatever was downstairs. I did not know why, but something about the place was amiss. Things felt wrong; it all felt slightly off. And then, it hit me: It is a dream.

I repeated the words, and each time I did, I could feel the cogs inside my head starting to turn. I saw more clearly now, aware of what was happening. Downstairs, danger was imminent. I wanted to get out of here, but I didn’t know how. I thought I’d wish a new place into existence, but the dream would not budge. I tried talking my way through things, but again, it mattered little to none if I didn’t believe myself to make it happen. I stayed for several more attempts until I finally woke up.

Summary:

During Bed
Meditation
Lucid moment


I'm gonna type out what I remember while I can since there was a blackout not that long ago. Who knows if there'll be another blackout from the storm or not? So I'll just type out my thoughts and experiences while I can.

Last night I didn't really sleep. Well I laid there on the bed, felt my body sleep and also noticed that I dozed momentarily once or twice. Perhaps less than a minute even. I actually tried a bit of wild phase right after just to see if it works. It didn't since I was pretty awake but I'll give myself credit for trying right away, because if it was a slightly deeper sleep, it would have definitely worked for sure. I didn't really try to lucid dream though, just you know, relaxed and stuff.

I meditated before bed, maybe a little too well and that might have been the cause of non-sleep. But I did feel rested though. It's just that I was conscious in almost its entirety and noticed the two times I lost consciousness briefly. So it wasn't all that bad really. Actually it was great. Since I had a goal before of meditating the whole night instead of sleeping or trying to do something like that but I never really got around to it. And sitting up the entire time probably would have been uncomfortable. So this was probably a blessing in disguise.

So I didn't even really dream there I laid down about 3-4 hours. There wasn't any dreams, just this calm awareness. It was like a residue of what I did for meditation.

The meditation was just noticing myself being aware of stuff. And if I noticed I got distracted, I didn't get mad or upset. I just told myself, you can do this, you can do that, you can feel anything you want, but just notice yourself feeling those things. And I just felt any focus, attachments, feelings, tensions, but it eventually led back to an energy welling from me. It's like a spiral of vibrating energy and if it's moving about like a storm, then my emotions also feels like a storm. Before I tried to change it, it worked sometimes, but this time I just try to notice it... Just noticing the stuff going on in me. Sort of like sivason's dream yoga guide on the sound, but instead I just focus on that.

So I decided to get up, took 2 short naps later on when I did feel tired. Haven't taken naps in a while but I did.

Oh yeah I also meditated in between. I just meditated until I released this torrent like feeling from my body. Sometimes it took longer, sometimes shorter but I just did it until I was satisfied. Then some very short mantras if I felt like it.

First nap had no dreams, but it felt like hours, when it was only about 20 minutes.

Second one I had a dream, I became aware at the very end. But I couldn't maintain myself in the dream as it collapsed upon my lucidity. I tried though. I tried to grab things like the carpet or the fuzziness before me, but I couldn't grasp onto anythign really. And it slowly became more fuzzy like the TV when it was no signal. I could have retrospectively, tried to DEILD or phase, but I suppose I was distracted by the emotion of failing to pull myself back into the dream. My mistake there.

Dream:

I was inside a house, it had sort of like a daycare thing going on. I was on the first floor and I remember seeing Jack there and his mom was to his right. They were by the stairs so that's how I noticed that it was the first floor. We were talking bout something related to money or something similar. I do recall I was playing wit hthe little kids earlier but right now some of them just decided to jump on me on my back. They all jumped on me and I fell on the floor with like an army of them covering me and it was so heavy I couldn't breathe. I felt like a feeling there. It was like a feeling of frustration, a thought process like, "why is this happening to me?" And my body reacted naturally, or my mind perhaps, just went to that noticing the awareness thing I was talking about earlier. And I was present and questioned this circumstance. And I thought "Oh it's a dream" and I felt the dream beginning to get destabilized. Maybe it's because of the agitation from being jumped by kids, maybe it's because the meditation process in the daytime isn't complete. Maybe I'm getting emotional and switching from unaware to this noticing mode too quickly and that could be a reason why it woke me. Or maybe it was just that I was near waking that I got lucid. But I tried to grab onto something just to touch. There was a TV in front of me maybe about 50 inches. It was placed pretty low, just slightly above the ground, as if it was placed conveniently for the kids. But things started to get fuzzy and I began to lose the sense of touch and vision and I couldn't grab on anything. So maybe I should have tried to rub my own hands here. Or immediately tried to DEILD here.

The house looked sort of like their place btw, but it wasn't the same, and I knew that it was in a different city. The house was newer.

I'll expand more if I remember anymore.

Oh yeah, when I didn't get any dreams initially, I thought that I'd just maybe write down some dreams from last couple of days. Since I didn't expand on those dreams if I didn't have enough dreams maybe I should type them out since I said I'd DJ everyday.


just excessively long trailing thought:
The reason, now that I think about it, as to why I dreamt about being jumped by kids is likely from a thought I had during the day or the day before. I noticed that I had a passing thought and it wasn't a pleasant thought but I think I did the light version of my all day meditation and just stuck with the feeling. It was about adults when I was young child and how I was treated unfairly and just calming the feeling that feeling and noticing it. I felt that those adults back then, incompetent teachers that didn't give a rat's ass about their students, they were actually still children. They were all children, they just didn't fully grow up and wanted a high paying job that was easy to get, with great benefits and guaranteed high wage in this country I'm in. They didn't think about actually teaching the future generation of kids, and perhaps inspiring them to greatness. But then who doesn't look for an easy way out? No they were just nearsighted, but then again how can I blame them? And that kind of way of looking at them just released some of these negative feelings, memories I guess. It was them, the kids, jumping on me figuratively, but literally in my dreams.

How can one even know when they grow up? How can they have a chance to grow up? Society's weird, it's unnatural and critical thinking appears to be discouraged in assignments. It's like they are implying... "you memorize these things right here, we know everything and you don't." But in actuality we really don't know much about anything. Just a speck of dust in the vastness of the universe.

Maybe the problem with the school system is that it lacks the chance to provide people to actually grow up? Maybe society as a whole. Maybe it's because humans used to live in small tribes and now we're all connected in this social media age. It doesn't have that sense of mystery anymore. A chance to explore and discover things for yourself. Instead you're just forced to learn things their way.

But some folks really do thrive well in how things are...

So that got me thinking, perhaps it's something you are suppose to instill in children at a very young age to make this story of life entertaining for kids really. That something is the mystery, the sense of wonder. Maybe at a very young age 2-5, by then you're suppose to expose them to the most advanced scientific concepts to them. To synthetically install the "unknown" they could discover and explore later into their lives. In contrast to the expected sameness of what is expected from an citizen of society. Things like quantum physics, astrophysics, sort of thing and even environmental sciences. We don't make them solve it right away, as children. But just to implant these ideas into them. A mystery, a puzzle for them to solve in their lifetime. Can you imagine if every child was exposed to those ideas? They can conceptually understand these difficult ideas at a young age, and at their later years, they could learn the foundations, the calculations, all the factual stuff they could learn later in their lives. As opposed to what we're doing right now. Job to make a living, a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher... And they do exactly that. And they get that, but it's for the love of money.

And the world is changing is it not? These jobs, like a doctor, especially a surgeon, would soon be replaced with AI, that wouldn't make the human error of cutting the artery by mistake during an operation. Or problems of misdiagnosis. At first, the manual jobs, then the high paying jobs. And then what is left? If all of the jobs are gone, then what would become of their purpose?

Is that scary? Or is it sort of beautiful, wonderful if we could direct humanity in the right direction? Instead of following greed, like holding technological and medical advancement at hostage by buying up patents so you can stay at the top of the food chain. But don't you die one day? Maybe even because you halted progress, maybe medical, that very progress might have saved your life.

Couldn't it be so much more wonderful though? All the menial jobs are taken care of by AIs. And if we all learned to work together, and strive to extend our scientific and spiritual knowledge. Can you imagine a future we have created, and now live and thrive here on paradise earth?

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA/AP

I am at some old industrial offices or at the bridge of a ship, really unclear, but there is a Japanese guy I know and for whom I have a crush. He is the captain and he is studying some charts. There is a sense of urgency and gravity. The place is a mess, it hasn't been working for years, most stuff is boxed and pilling up without apparent logic. But I worked here before and I know more or less where some things are. Right now the captain needs desperately some millimeter graph paper sheets to make some navigational calculations on it. He is out of his mind because it is impossible to find it in this chaos and no other person has a clue to where it could be. But I say I can find it. He puts all his faith on me and I follow my intuition based on where I saw it last time and most likely places where these blocs of paper could be. I try three places and he is starting to lose faith, but at my 3rd attempt I open a cabinet and below some boxes with bottles of wine, I find a box with the blocs he so needs. He is beyond thankful and I immediately enter into his very restrict circle of trust.

I am jogging across an industrial area. I come across a couple teenage girls playing with a ball. They decide to run alongside me and I realize they wanna race me. But not in a friendly way, they kinda wanna mock me by making me feel old and out of shape. But I accept the challenge. I control the ball they left behind with my mind and I make it jump around and follow us just to creep them out. At the end of the road there is an abandoned toll booth and I make the ball shoot across the window and break the glass. They freak out and go after the ball because they don't want to be caught by the security guys. I use the chance to disappear. I cross a warehouse that opens to the main street but there is construction work at the street where I usually go out to take the subway, so I have to go through another exit to be able to enter the street. The subway is inaccessible but there are replacement shuttle buses. I meet a friend (I think it's Zilla) at the bus stop and we look for the right bus for us, number 3 I think. I realize I am not wearing a mask and look up for one in my backpack. After I put it, I look for seats but all are taken and I spot a couple of our friends right in the first seats. They are actors, most are not famous, except for Paul Rudd who is among them and managed to stay incognito because he is also wearing a mask. We salute playfully and then we overhear a couple ladies talking something about Laura Dern. Paul looks at me like "I need to say something". He will expose his identity if he does, but he doesn't care. He addresses the ladies to correct the story they were telling. Says he knows her and was there on that occasion. They freeze in embarrassment but they are also excited because it's Paul. They recognize him but can't name a role he played. I want to tell them he is Ant-man but he looks at me like "please don't say it".
On reaching our destination we make an appointment to meet at Govinda restaurant. I am supposed to go there for some business meeting and then they will join me afterwards. It is important for me, I think I will be offered a job. I just need to take a shower and change clothes. But I cross paths with Marco in front of a building. He looks very good and he is adamant that I have to come drink a coffee at his place. I say I can't right now but apparently he lives at this high end building right ahead. He does not accept a no for an answer so I go, but insist I need to be quick. At his place he starts seducing me and I don't want to fall for it, but I do. He is being irresistible. He kisses me or I kiss him, it is hard to tell and with almost just one movement he gets my clothes off. I insist I can't, that I have to go to an appointment, but I lose control and don't care anymore. I feel a bit self-aware as I put on a bit weight, but he does not care, he is a big guy. He grabs me against the wall with total ease and penetrates me. Let's say he is big in all senses. It hurts a bit so then he lays me on the carpeted floor and asks me if I am ok. He continues more gently as not to hurt me. I kick a popcorn bowl he had on a glass table to our left. I make a big mess. His house is intelligent so a tv screen turns on and his AI asks if he would like it to clean up the mess. He says not now, but I sense he is a bit disturbed with the mess. His house looks like an immaculate temple and I am all sweaty and covered in popcorn. When we are done, he immediately cleans up everything and I go take a shower which I desperately need. He offers me a beautiful dress for me to wear, so I can still go to my meeting if I want to. But now I don't want to go. I plan to take him to bed once I am cleaned up and just stay there the rest of the day with him.

I'm sitting on a train/bus of some kind. There are challenges where we collect point. I have collected 2 points. There are some challenges only girl can do so they all have 4 points each.

Notes: I watched The Silent Revolution yesterday. I think the bus/train I sat in came from there.

I'm tired and thinking if it is a dream. There are some weird patterns showing and I get a bit scared. I try to wake up but remember that it's only a dream. I try to keep myself in the dream but wake up.

I'm in a big house with some evil and good people. The evil person is able to kill us all and a good guy disables him and transform him into ash. The good guy takes the ash and throw it into a water pool next to us. The evil person survives and starts to chase us. We run away and I ask the good guy what the different fighting styles are called. He doesn't know.

Notes: My brother played a game yesterday and I saw a water pool there.

Summary:

DJ everyday in 3 stages (23rd)
Weekly/monthly recall
WBTB ideas (on off)
good things come in 3s
dreams (school, Un kid prank, pear, lucy. Lion lady transforming)
Notice the awareness


Thoughts
Just some monologues to type out my thoughts and ideas I learned, interesting dreams not included.

Maybe I need to up DJ game again. I'm not progressing right now. I'm just not thinking lucid dreaming stuff enough.

I need meaning. A reason. Something to...

A way just to immerse myself in lucid dreaming stuff again. And maybe DJ is the best way. Maybe not, but I will try it out once again.

A meaning... as in a way to attach myself to the dream, because dreams have been feeling rather... dull? Maybe some are fun, even meaningful but it's bland. Weekly lucids, but bland. But maybe it's because I'm not giving my dreams the love they deserve? A way to think about it, the dreams, and seeing/recalling them in my mind to impress more of myself, my sensations into dreams, that's what's lacking maybe.

It's been a while though, since I've posted here. twice I had a break from lucid dreaming. Once from a injury, and it just stopped dreams for a while. And another time I was preoccupied with something. But posting on DV was pretty helpful for a very strong recall I think. The fact that someone else might read your DJ and notice every typos and stuff like that is helpful. It's helpful because it forces me to read it over again to edit and that reading over it really help reinforce and strengthen the recall it seems.

3 times? Recalling dreams 3 times a day seems to be a sweet spot to keep recall in a strong state. I will try to do that. I remember my best recall was created by that. I wrote them down in steps:

Jotting- after fully awakening and remembering all dreams, jot them in a few words
Writing- expand and recall the rest of the dreams and write them down in the middle of the day, just type it out real quickly from the notes
Digging- try to dig deeper from the plot before, recalling anything that's been forgotten (also attach meanings to dreams)

I'm just not doing the second and third part of what I used to do as much. But that it was such a good way to improve recall.

And I should honestly begin to do that again. And I will. I'll do all that for a week, till the 23rd.

I should also do a weekly review of dreams or something like that. It's something I wanted to do before but never did. Maybe a weekly or monthly review of things I've written. Doesn't even have to be very long, it can even be just skimming everything in the past week or month, and it would only take 5 minutes to do that right? As I'm typing this, please be convinced. DO IT! FUTURE ME! I BELIEVE IN YOU! DO A WEEKLY REVIEW AND POST IT ON THE 23RD! And maybe even a monthly review. I know, I know... it might be chore, some people may make snide comments about your DJ, but that's ok just for a week, and see how it goes. Just do it for a week, you might actually enjoy it. You can stop it anytime after the week if it sucks. But you know that it'll improve your recall tremendously. Thanks and love you!

What else? WBTB?

Experimented with it. I've tried asking lucid dreaming advices from different people. But they've said it's (experimenting is) bad and that you should stick to one thing. But you know what? I realized you should do what you should do. Everyone needs to experiment and figure out what works for them. And that person's advice just didn't work for me. Maybe they don't experiment because they are lucid all the time, every time now. But I'm pretty sure they've experimented in their years of non lucidity and they've just forgotten about it, about trying out different stuff and figuring it all out.

I've found that spacing out WBTBs in between days like 2 days wbtb 2 day off, or 1 day on 2 day off, sort of thing gave me the maximum consecutive lucid days. Maybe the dream just gives time to refresh your mind and let it rest, or maybe it's because you body adjusts to the wbtb times if you do it too often. And if you just stop it before the body adjusts, you get sort of a maximum effect from wbtb each time. So for me, atleast it seems like the wbtb has a sort of 3 day cool down period? It's just like the 3 stages of DJing, it's like good things come in 3s. I wish I could know if other people have similar experience with wbtbs. Who knows, maybe none of this really matters.

Failure is okay. It's okay to fail really. Failure is the mother of success after all. And if you're so caught up in trying to get everything perfect, just always seeking, seeking for a better way you might not realize that you can just learn from your own mistakes. It's like the wise words, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly." Instead of trying to succeed... just simply be and your best. So that I can notice my own nose because the answer's always right there if I've just paid enough attention to my nose and get lucid from that.

BUT enough of that! I should just DJ. Freakin do the DJ, even though the dream this time was one of the most uninteresting and the shortest I've had in weeks. I've better keep my promise and DJ gracefully starting now.

Dream

I remember in a classroom, in a school of course. I was sitting beside my friend Un, we were sitting on the same large blocky square desks that were shared btween a couple of students. each desk were shared by maybe 2 students and the way that they sat had oriented them in facing towards the blackboard. Or was it a whiteboard? The classroom had a wooden feel to it, actually the desk was wooden yea, yellow. The teacher was a lady. And the class held about 20 people. It was teenagers. So this school was a highschool methinks. I slightly recall smoeone throwing a paper airplane across from the right side of the class, a boy who sat at the top right, where the entrance door, which was long and slender was at. I was near the back of the class, maybe the very back, about center, slightly to the right. I forget what we did though. We weren't studying in the class I think.

So me and Un, we leave the class, presumably after the bell and I just simply follow him. Our classroom was located in the southern part of the schoolm second floor. THe floors were white, off white. It was white but it had black speckles in them, sort of looking like the inside of a dragonfruit. The very edge of the floor in the hallways had sort of a dark goldish frame around it, with a thicker frame about the third the length of a shoe and the inner frame, which was the thickness of a pencil about three times the thickness its distance from the outer frame. The floor had a sort of a rubbery feel, it had a kind of traction to it. Anyways we went down the hallway and to the left, down the stairs and went the office there. I think I've been in this particular school in my dreams about 5 times now? maybe 6 or 7. But Un went into the office through the reception an and grabbed ahold of something and stole it from there. I wasn't sure what it was but we left after he grabbed the item.

I remember it looking like sort of a small rod the size of your hand. It had like a round ball like top connected to like a cylindrical rounded bottom like the bottom of a hairbrush. It was sort of shiny and white in color. Un went into a classrom and used the object and transformed into a child. This class was filled with smaller kids, like elementry. And he was just sort of pulling a prank on the teacher here and pretending he was a student in that class. He did this for a while and I just watched from outside the door. It got boring very fast so I decided to leave him be.

I was leaving and headed the same direction as before and I met Lucy on the way. We just decided to walk together and maybe walk back home together. Her house was the east or the right side direction of the left front entrance, which was at the lower part of the stairs we took before. There was a fruit stand there right before the entrance and I grabbed a hold of a pear there. I ate it and it was pretty ripe, part of it a bit rotten but otherwise very delicious. It was the soft kind of pear that I enjoyed really. I asked Lucy if she wasnted any, maybe one of the apples there, because those kind of looked fresher than the pears? She just had just kind of apathetic look to her for some reason so I just decided to grab an apple for myself. The apple was also a bit overripe and I thought I'd enjoy the pear more.

I had a vision here, of a house about 2-4 kilometers west of here. Inside the house and stuff going on. It was on the first floor of a house, about 3-4 people there. I was there briefly but came back to the same spot now.

Anyways we're headed out the entrance and I tried to ask Lucy what was wrong. She was just so ah humbug and I just didn't want to be near her that much. Then a girl shows up whom I knew from college. She lived to the west side of here and although I lived in the same direction as Lucy, I decided to go home with her instead because Lucy was sort of being a jerk. For the life of me, I can't remember her name. I cans ee her face and remember her beautiful features yet the name just passes me by. M? Muuuh
...

I had a few dreams before that. Scribbles hard to read.

One about a lion lady. I can't even remember now. It was pains, I had real bad shoulder pains and that distracted me pretty badly.

I'm pretty sure the inspiration of this dream came from my mother though. Although she was not in this dream. Seeds of this dream - mother, lion, fortune teller

I think the dream was about a lion who transformed into a lady. I had to fight a lion and the lion i was fighting transformed into a lady. Or it was the other way around, the lady trasformed into a lion.


P.S.

.. It got me thinking though. Does meditation also have the same 3 day thing? To either take a break once in a while or to at least switch the meditation technique every 3 days or so? Because I notice that I stupor and my meditation quality drops? Or maybe it's simply that you get bored of doing the same thing all the time? I don't know. Maybe everything I've written or thought about is trying to come together into a singular idea or concept. Something like trusting your own feelings? I feel like it's sort of connected to concepts skipper had said.

But I need to make it my own. In my own words at the moment. The clearest words that I have to describe it are something like,

Trust your feelings? You get better in doing.


And that thing I've learned in meditation to notice yourself feeling stuff? Like, you don't have to try to do good? Just notice things more and you naturally become good?

Is that meditation in its essence? To bring the unconscious to conscious?

Like... you don't meditate to do something... But you just remove excess thoughts?
... A kind of a 2 step process? One part of it is to learn to focus, and be more aware, just to notice more things. Maybe this part isn't even meditation, but simply the act of concentration. But this helps to sharpen your senses. And the other is the noticing of your thoughts/feelings/senses. The noticing of awareness itself. But the goal maybe isn't even to notice the awareness. But when you notice the awareness, you become better at whatever task you are doing. Because you have less mind chatter going on? And because you are better at this "mind clearing". You become more efficient in your art of concentration. And this art of concentration sharpens your senses. And in turn, you see things more vividly, and when you see things more vividly it's easier to notice something off in your dream? Maybe that's the goal of the dream yoga? And you cycle between different "meditations" like sound and stuff to sharpen each sense to maximum amount and to keep them sharpened.

Is this true? Perhaps, or maybe I'm just sprouting nonsense. But nonetheless it's very interesting to ponder. But note to self - remember to notice yourself pondering.


Well I didn't realize the font color was white since I was in black mode on the browser. When I tried to submit it just had the error and I copy and pasted it and it just turned out strange for some reason, looked completely normal on my dark mode browser though. I hope no one had to endure reading invisible scripts on a white background. Fixed a few typos, pretty sure there's more but oh well.