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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some party with coworkers and their kids (I think). My boss, who is some random dude in his 30s, good looking but not my type, starts seducing me. I don't show interest, but I try not to antagonize him too much, afraid of his reaction. At some point I fall asleep in a couch and I wake up with him leaning over me, shirtless and I am afraid of what may have happened. I am fully clothed and there are still other people in the next room with the kids making noise, so I guess not much happened, but I don't know. Back to the other room, one of the persons is actually his wife and she is giving me a side look. I decide to leave as I feel uncomfortable. But I can't find my bag. I start looking for it and the kids basically mixed everyone's phones and other personal belongings and spread them on a couch. I find my phone but I still want the rest of my bag. Instead I find a plastic bag with my stuff in it. I am upset and say that the kids stole my bag. Their parents feel offended and don't like my accusation. They tell me I should just take the plastic bag because it's the contents that count, not the bag. I am pissed at all of them, but I accept and leave.
Some days later, at work, I have a meeting with my boss and Zilla, who also works with me. Our boss was recently promoted and I am actually happy it was him and not me, because I didn't want that level of responsibility. I feel less stressed and feel this could work well. Then he makes a stupid proposal that he wants to change everybody's schedule and make us all have two hours lunch breaks and leave later, because I need that time at lunch break to dedicate myself to some artistic project I am working on and which he wishes to support. I panic and say "Please don't! People want to leave early, they have families". Zilla is clearly very upset with the idea. Then the idiot says he doesn't care, he is full on in our relationship and wants the others to know about it and his support to me. And I am like "WTF are you talking about? We have no relationship!!!" And I am freaking out, because everyone will hate me and believe we are lovers instead that he is delusional..

I go on a desert trip with friends: three ladies and a guy. We stop our jeep at some dunes to take some pics. The ladies have their hair wrapped up in shawls.

I convince mom to go with me to a local shelter, which also works as a dog hotel, to get our dog Lady who is there for some reason. Mom doesn't want to go, she is afraid to fall in love for some other dog at the shelter, but i explain we will only go to the reception and get Lady and she won't see any other animals. We get Lady but they want mom to register as a client (dog is hers, but I registered as the client). They ask her lots of stupid questions and even subject her to some sort of skills test. She draws an amazing picture, then they want to analize its meaning. I'm like "WTF?" but she is sort of enjoying it. Then we hear a large plane flying over us, someone shouting at us and the sound of what seems like a bomb dropping, so we duck under the desk. Then something heavy breaks the ceiling and falls close to my feet. It's a bomb and is about to explode. I know there is nothing we can do and we're about to die. I wake up in panic.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Riverstone is driving, he enters a roundabout but instead of moving forward, starts moving backwards. I wonder what's going on, but he also starts talking backwards. Everything is moving and happening backwards and then it starts moving faster and faster until it all becomes a blur and I lose consciousness.

At a beach house with Riverstone. There are four cute white kittens in the house. I go around checking for more and find a disgusting bathroom. Besides the kittens, I am starting to regret these vacations. But then we meet a couple friends who are also vacationing at the next house and they bring along his friend, none other than Joseph Gordon-Levitt and I no longer regret coming. We have lots of fun, I try to casually get a selfie with him.
Then there is also Angelina Jolie and for some reason she is upset with me.
I start getting lucid. I don't know what I did to piss Angelina, but just for fun I engage with her and try to apologize, which makes her even more pissed. I get bored, decide to drop it and go outside. I find myself in some city streets, wonder what to do and decide not to waste any more time with frivolities. I wanna meet face to face with Vajrasattva. But where? I feel like I should be at some proper place before summoning the buddha. Then I spot a bridge with a 50 mt tower somewhere in the middle of it and I decide I'll do it at the top of it. I get to its base and look up. Then look down to the bridge railings and I feel vertigo. I tell myself it is not dangerous as I can even fly and be in control, but as soon as a lift off a few meters up, I feel to scared to continue. Everything looks too real and the vertigo just gets worse. So I wake up.

I'm with my wife, it's a strange house and she has a husband I don't know, but she wants to be with me.

I had to wake up a bit early in my rest because of something that needed to be taken care of. Once I returned after a few hours I got back in my bed and laid there with my thoughts. An idea after 10 minutes of laying in my bed attempting to sleep came to me. I decided if I needed some guidance in my life what better than to visit my dreams. I decided I wanted to lucid dream and try to find some answers.

I close my eyes and could feel my brainwaves change, a couple of random images came in to my mind as it became difficult to stay aware. Soon one image felt so strong it surrounded my entire view and I soon found myself in a warehouse. I look around and a man was talking to me about co-workers and how they can be annoying. I said yea I know and proceeded to walk more wondering it must have work. I tried to get some alone time to process the environment to make sure I am fully self aware. However the other co-worker began to follow me wondering what I was up to.

I started to run through the factory and avoided him. I then look around and thought my brain really memorize the environment of this place a little too well. It looks just like how it would in waking life. I felt very awake and stable so I knew I had some time.
I look outside the window and saw how colorful and crisp everything look as if I could sense the life from it. I kept walking down the hallway leaving the warehouse behind in to a very quiet and voided of people area. I then heard a voice saying alone constantly in the background as I marvel of the detail of what I was seeing.

The voice got louder and I began to feel a presence. My body froze and I was no longer able to move. I said hello before the dream environment change in to this grey void. I thought I was going to wake up but instead I only saw grey all around, I tried to my open my eyes to wake up but I could only feel my physical eyes for a second in a failed attempt to open up. I look around and tried to move feeling a weightless leg and arm.

I soon felt a pressure in my neck start to choke me as I tried to wake up again. I was in a lot of pain and finally felt the grip around my neck disappear. Only to have images come in to my thoughts against my will of places and people I knew nothing of. I then saw darkness and could feel my physical body again and knew I was awake.

Not much dreams the last 2 weeks. Lots of random dreams about driving...

Vaguely recall a FNaF game with the following mechanics

• Security Breach's Exploration, mixed with the classic confinement to a certain locale
• The whole location was themed around hot-dogs, and was an in-universe knock off.
• Multiple phases/waves where the player had to do different things, some phases were triggered by not attending to/activating certain animations.
• Music Man's activation depended on your physical microphone levels, something absolutely perfect in retrospect for LPs
• There was a segment with hand puppets of the animatronics, and one of them resembled withered bonnie, in that it had a ring with painted teeth at the bottom and eats on the top.
• each of the anamatronics were voice acted, and sounded similar to those from showbiz pizza.
• eventually, the game ended with a jump rope minigame where the voice clip that played telegraphed the dodging position. it got stuck on a loop with a voice clip of "doubledoor doorslam" playing over and over.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am at some kind of hospital, but it also looks like a shopping center. The beds and medical machines are lined up at a large corridor and in between there are vendor stalls. At first I am not even aware that I am there as a pacient. I am thirsty and I spot a little faucet and I open it to drink. Two nurses come by and yell at me that it controls an IV drip of a patient and that's when I realize this place is a hospital. I find the main door to the outside and decide to leave, as I don't feel sick. Outside is a vast prairie with green grass and blue sky. In front of me is a tree which somehow is also the incarnation of my past crush BadWolf. He has a hole through his head / canopy. I feel pulled to him / it and I decide to plunge into his torax / trunk for unknown reasons. Nothing weird works, he simply disappears and I land in the prairie field which is covered in a beautiful variety of wild flowers.

I have been in a dreaming rut for a month now. My work schedule has allowed me to sleep in way to much and I have had no willpower to dream journal this whole time. Fortunately, my life is becoming less stressful which makes me think I will get an up-kick in my discipline and routine soon. I have already been making progress in my witchcraft and tulpamancy.

I have been learning to manipulate psychic energy by reading the book Psychic Witch by Mat Auryn. I learned to feel my astral body when I was 16 while researching astral projection but I never learned to draw on external energy sources until reading this book. Practicing channeling terrestrial and celestial energy makes me a circuit for so much energy it leaves me feeling strained by at the end of the day because I'm not yet very good at turning that energy off.

Juliana, my tulpa and dream guide, has made some new internet friends recently. She enjoys texting because it makes her feel very present and appreciated. I look forward to the next time I summon her in a dream. I'm thinking about incubating a spa where she and I can relax and have a nice conversation.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am on an island when a volcano erupts in another island of the same archipelagus. At first I am not concerned, as it is far away and hardly affects other islands. But it is close enough that I can see it. Soon it gets really bad and then a pyroclastic flow descends from the top of the volcano and everybody panics, because it looks like it will hit us. I am with a couple other people and we start running down towards the shore on the opposite side of the one facing the volcano.
It's a race against time and we face lots of obstacles. We even have to go through some buildings and then it's hard to find the way out of them. Then we finally reach the shore and I find a couple traditional canoes from the island's indigenous people and we hop on one and start paddling away.

28th of March 2022

(I may add some notes at one point, especially if I draw the monument)

6:00 or 7:00
Fragment:

I am my alter ego but my dorsal scales are pointier, like my character N. I'm at some kind of fair or public event. Eventually after a bit of walking around, I come to a wooden bench, where mom and dad are sitting. They each move over to a side and as they sort of part, this dwarf man is revealed to be sitting there too. He has a miserable look. My parents don't even acknowledge that he's there at all. I do at first and try to sit next to him and between my parents. There's some dialogue, but recall was lost.

Unknown Time
Fragment:

In space, sort of game-ish and like Sins of a Solar Empire and Stellaris, in that you have starlanes for travel between stars (haven't played either in a while but think about it on and off when I see them on the library). I'm travelling with someone else, we're each on our own ships. As we travel and spend a bit of time wandering in a star system, the star suddenly starts to go nova. So I tell the other person we need to warp out of here now, and we head to the edge of the system, getting out just in time and travelling across nearby stars and seeing the explosion from this point. (Scale is similar to Sins)

Some other bit where I'm planning a star fortress load-out, Stellaris UI. And some other bit about managing something in a star system, possibly in sequence with the planning.

8:00 and onwards (order jumbled)
Fragment:

Climbing some eroded stone stairs. Some kind of natural or carved out limestone rock. Feels underground. As I go up the stairs, I leave behind random things, like statuettes of animals. There's also some animal following me? I don't feel attached to it however; it may be a bird. I remember an opening through which I can see a vast darkness but also underground "cliffs" and ravines. Maybe streaming water. The limestone has a beautiful creamy colour.

Fragment:

(Generally darker dream, both in lighting and mood) Dream streets, lots of people. Parts of the dream repeat themselves or I return to certain areas. The streets have shops, and there's a Japanese/neon-heavy feel. Something has a feel to it like Cybermancy.

Some plot line about a group of people who are uploading themselves into a thing or collective. I am not especially interested or anything but I help them in some way and when they start getting persecuted by some assassins or something, I use a rifle, struggling on with it for a bit, until I realise I'm "missing a skill point" for it, which I then quickly put a point it. I aim at one of the assassin at point blank, as he aims at someone else with a firearm of his own. I shoot him in the head and he dies instantly. Then, twin female assassins (though not human) standing a few feet away and moving; I spot them and aim for the head, but miss my shot, hitting her in the back or chest, but she's not really harmed by the shot.

She comes after me now and I apologise for not killing her with a single shot. I kneel, and expectantly wait for her to kill me. Something very Japanese in feel about this last bit.

After I die, I think I return to a previous point in the dream and do other things, or differently.

(recall gap?)

Then, some place like L. I'm near a monument of some sort, in a large square, which in the dream I "know" about; there's a road around the monument? It's sort of rounded itself, but not at the front where the road is. It's clear and sunny and I think I'm with someone else at first, maybe family.

The monument itself is a dream generated thing and the square reminds me more of France in some respects, although it definitely has the feel of L. I think there's an obelisk further away in the middle of the square. (I should draw this before I completely lose what little recall is left)

Near the front of the monument and at head level, there's a wide gap that's not got much height to it, maybe two feet high in opening. Through it, I see some sunlight but mostly darkness, and this underplace seems to be full of dark earthy dirt and corpses, mostly skeletal I think, though I can't recall their state exactly.

Then, as I circle around to the next corner, I climb some stairs. Up here, it's a relatively flat area which is a narrow-ish U shape. There are many stone benches, which are just part of the overall structure. Lavish and floral motifs, general renaissance or art nouveau aesthetics. The stone benches have fairly fancy cushions on them, of different and saturated-ish colours. People are touring and lazing about as in mostly any capitol-city style of a place. I head for a free seat at the bend/corner. The dream ends here, I feel just as something was about to happen.

Edit: Somehow I had recorded the wrong date for this dream, corrected this now.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

It's the 30s or 40s. I am staying at some very posh hotel. Maybe there is some conference, because I am at a kind of conference room with a bunch other people. They start behaving strangely. I don't pay attention at first, but then one of them turns to me and his eyes are weird and all grey. I step back, afraid of the way he is looking at me. Then all the others also get their eyes grey and start acting like zombies, following the first guy who is clearly their leader.. I run away and find out the hotel has been evacuated already, as more people turned into zombies in other areas and the survivors ran away.
People are gathered outside, but they stop running and they don't even lock the doors to trap the zombies inside. I urge people to do so, but they don't seem worried and the truth is they aren't coming out and attacking. Then people start walking calmly to a nearby dock, where everyone is trying to get on boats to escape. I see all those people pushing each other to get on board and I realize something: we are still the majority. So I propose to those who care to listen that we actually go back and take down all the zombies before they outnumber us. But they ignore me. People just want to leave ASAP.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With a friend or brother and my supposed dad, staying at some old house for a night. I am sleeping in the same bed as my friend/brother and my dad is sleeping in an armchair in the living room. Something falls and wakes me up. Then the door opens up by itself. I wake up my dad and we see a radio turning itself on, then a closet door opening and some bag falling down from it. The house is apparently haunted and I ask dad if he can sleep with us in our room. He agress. I go back to the bed, but everything goes dark and I feel myself falling slowly down a black void. I can feel the bed cover but I can't see or hear anything. I call out for my family, but no sound comes out of my mouth. It's like sleep paralysis inside a dream. It takes me a while to get back to them. I ask if they saw me struggling and they say yes, but could not understand what was happening. There is some kind of plastic ball in the bed touching me and I throw it into the ground and smash it, scared about it. Someone who knows the house comes by and points to some items he says are haunted. We throw them away, but I feel like the haunting is everywhere. Some friend helps us take away some items for the trash, but later I visit her studio with my mom and she still has them there and I have a bad feeling about it. Two heavy wooden shelves fall down on her and other people, but I was keeping an eye on it and manage to hold them for a bit, saving them. Then something flies across the room and the floor is looking weird, like vibrating. I tell them to get out fast. The ground starts shaking, the walls open cracks. We head for the door and outside everything is apparently normal, nothing is shaking. But there is a road going downhill and I notice that some wster that is flowing on it is coming upwards, not going downwards. We all realize something is really really wrong with the objects from that house, like they are possessed by a strong demonic presence.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am working at a company and I am totally lost about what I do here and what I have been working on. It is morning and I arrived late. I am taking ages to sit at the desk to work, so my boss calls me out and asks me several questions. I don't understand what she says. I never hear the end of her sentences and I ask her to repeat over and over. It seems she is asking about some project I am very late with and she complains it should be over a long time ago. I promise her that I will finish by the end of the day and that I have been having these health issues that have been affecting me. Then she asks if it was I who did some promotional stunt at some event and I don't recall having done it, so I am afraid to say so, but she says it was brilliant and all the clients loved, so I guess I am not going to be fired. Then she asks about some other promotion event involving a film and once again I don't know what she is talking about. Then I am possessed by the spirit of some dead publicist, who knows exactly what she is talking about and shows her the two films and the campaign and explains how that small event will raise 70.000€. She seems glad about it. Sends me back to my desk. I then talk internally with this guy that took over me, to find out his intentions. It is now clear why I had totally forgot all my work and projects, because he is the one actually doing my job and I don't recall anything from when he takes over.

I got another lucid. This time I entered, I went into the same place I fell asleep in.

The first thing I did was shout "Stability and Clarity" and the effect actually work for a little. It was a contrazoom effect.

I went outside and it had just heavily snowed but I wasn't cold. For a brief moment, I was fully in the dream. I then tried summoning but it didn't work. I then woke up.


What I learned is that I have to take it slow. I have to do more work stabilizing and clarifying at first. This is exciting.

If I find that after stabilizing I still can't summon anything then I'll just ask a nearby dream character. They're all just your subconscious, so I figure if I have any mental blocks then that'll be the easiest way to find out what they are.

Now I just need stabilization techniques.
Shouting Clarity and Stability worked for a little bit, but it wasn't enough. I also tried rubbing my hands together, but in truth, I didn't focus on it.

I could try shouting repeatedly because I did only do it once.
I also want to stimulate my sense of taste. Maybe I should lick the first thing I see when I get into the dream.
Rubbing my hands together could work, but I'd have to focus more and do it with more intent.
I could also try breathing deeply. I wonder what that does to the dream.

So about that contrazoom effect-

I wasn't expecting my "Dream stabilization animation" to look like that. I'd always thought it was a shockwave of color and vibrancy entering the environment around you. I wonder if it's the same for other people or if everyone has their own unique animation.

I'm confident I can get into another Lucid. Every time before this, when I got success, I'd try to replicate exactly what I did but it would never work. This is the same technique from the last entry and it worked just as smoothly as the first time; it was free. Now that I actually have a technique that I can replicate for success, my next stop is stabilizing the dream. Once I do that, it'll be time for my plan to really get in motion...

After taking Wellbutrin for about a week, I woke up in the middle of the night because my hair was itchy. Because of the Wellbutrin, My dreams had already been vivid up to that point. I had speculated that if I were to wake up in the middle of the night while on Wellbutrin, it would basically guarantee a lucid dream, and this was the time to test that out.

I'm not sure why but I just knew what to do. I was always confused as to what people meant when they talked about the wild transition but I did it. Here's what happened.

I was in hypnagogia, but I didn't really pay attention specifically to what I was seeing. Every now and then, I would try visualizing something, and if I saw it in my mind's eye then I knew I wasn't where I needed to be yet. If I visualize something and saw it with my own eyes, then I knew that's where I needed to be. To enter the dream, I visualized myself moving forward into it. Now, I'm not trying to visualize anything specific, just kind of paying attention to what my brain is visualizing at the time, but I'm pretty sure that I can just visualize myself either moving into the dream or touching something in the visualization and that'll work. In this case, It was kind of like a picture frame. It was a picture of a back seat of a car. I just visualized myself moving into the dream, and I was there.

It was kind of a Grand theft Auto transition where it showed a couple of cinematic shots of a car, specifically the back seat, and then boom, I was in the back seat. Now, I noticed that it was night time, and that we were heading to a house surrounded by cornfields and immediately, I was flailing in the back seat trying to get out of the dream. But then I remembered that I was lucid, and that nothing bad would happen to me. So I let the dream play out.

When we get there, I get out of the car and I guess this white lady that was driving it was my mom. She was very tall and wore a really long red coat. I asked her what we were there for and she was like "We live here, and we fight dragons." I was like "Dragons?"

As we went into the house, a Bluetooth speaker was playing and it was incredibly loud, like, ear rape loud. As I go to turn it off, I just want to go to my room. I go in there, and it's just a bed and two mirrors. In my head I was like, "Oh well people say to look at a mirror in your dreams." So I did, and it was just a little distorted, like a funhouse mirror. As I looked at my hands to stabilize a dream, I looked one last time back at the mirror, and when I blinked I woke up.

Second best lucid I've ever had.

To sum up, the most important thing I learned from this is:

While in hypnagogia, visualize.
Mind's eye = not yet
Actual eyes = go time