lucid

Morning of February 5, 2020. Wednesday.

Dream #: 19,406-02. Optimized 2 minute read.




I have a turntable set up in a featureless, unknown location as part of a large console to use commercial music sections in new mixes.

I become annoyed because, although the music is playing through my headphones, it is also blaring through the speakers, and I do not want to annoy other people in the room. There may be a short or a loose jack. I stuff tissue paper in one input.

The setting changes. I am in an unfamiliar library. Many other people are here. I now only have a turntable on the floor near a bookcase. Although I am still thinking about mixing music, I notice a group of interesting little books on a shelf.

They remind me of the vintage Little Blue Books (Haldeman-Julius Publishing Company) I once had, but they seem to be a periodical as there are issue numbers on them, published each week since the 1900s. I read some of the content. On one back page, a couple of sentences are curiously at an angle, overlapping others. I can still read the content regarding 1930s women’s fashion. There are many pages featuring crafts. Two unfamiliar boys intend to sit down while they face the bookcase. They accidentally stumble onto my turntable. I shout at them after they fall and again when I see a crack in the middle of the tonearm. (It is flat and made of cream-colored plastic). I believe they should pay for a new tonearm. A bystander watches me.

Arnold Schwarzenegger approaches. He commands me to stop yelling at the boys. I spontaneously punch him, and he goes flying backward, all the way to the other side of the library. He transforms into a shoddy black and blue plastic robot that seems like an oversized hollow toy, with limbs that are flat in profile and somewhat skeletal. It lands on its head near a bookcase.

---

If you are knowledgeable about dreams, you know that arm swinging is a spontaneous physiological stimulus for emergence from REM atonia (physical immobility while sleeping). Protoconsciousness (here as Arnold Schwarzenegger) induces this response. There is a correlation with the cracked “tonearm,” cleverly directing me to gain muscle tonality and arm mobility for waking.

My dream’s cerebral phasing stage (seeking and reading text) included vestibular phasing ambiguity (the illogical angles of the superimposed sentences revealing a conflict between my imaginary vertical orientation in my dream and my body’s horizontal position while sleeping).

Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes an unrealistic robot as in 1984’s movie “The Terminator.” Movie influence is often predominant in my dreams more than associations with real life. Protoconsciousness often personifies as either a celebrity or an unfamiliar person to block associations with waking life from a personal level. The robot’s infeasibility correlates with REM atonia. (Dolls or statues are other indicators of this type of metacognitive awareness.)

The robot’s colors are an incidental correlation with the phrase “beaten black and blue.”

Stuffing tissue paper into one input correlates with putting tissue paper in one’s ear to block sound while sleeping.

---

Not really and memorable nlds. No jamie or anything else.

Lucid

Started I was in the passenger seat of a car with a blond woman driving. Wasn't sure how I got there and didn't think about it much. It was a semi desert road with foothills nearby. We parked at some store and the woman got out. Became lucid while waiting for the woman to come back. She came back and suddenly I was in the back seat. I mentioned to the lady driving that it was now a dream. The woman was a man now and some other NPC character was in the front passenger seat. The man disagreed. And we kept talking about it. The man asked where do I wanna get dropped off? I said in a city. In the back of my mind I wanted to look for Jamie. I forgot about that right after.

We stopped somewhere and now entered a building still arguing about whether or not it was a dream. I said, "Do you remember what happened before you were driving around? I don't. And you were a woman before and now you are a man!" We were in a large room now with a very high ceiling. As if to demonstrate my point I jumped up and started flying to the ceiling. I then dropped from really high and landed on my feet. The dream started fading so I wanted to slow down time. At first I was going to try the hukif technique. Then I asked the man for a watch. He had one and I pulled it off his wrist, he was a wrinkly old man now. At first it was a face watch and I was looking for the second hand. The man showed me his other watch which was digital. Now mine was digital. I was going to try slowing down the second hand when I woke up.

Created Friday 08 October 2021

Got three LDs (well, maybe two-and-a-half) plus a dream to note. Quite a haul. Although I'm reluctant to do so, I'm gonna keep the entry practically in its completion No point keeping things bottled up forever...

Spoiler for NSFW - Implicit naughty things:

Scrap Group 1
Vaguely recall riding around in a forest. I get aware, I fly out of the moving vehicle. This LD didn't last long.

Dream 1 - School Subway Station False Awareness

The visuals were slightly blurred. I was in a subway station. Folding tables and seats were spread throughout the walkways, where I was seated. So too were a bunch of teenage kids. I "recalled" we were in a history class, of which had to be moved in this public transit area due to budget cuts. For related reasons, our primary teacher was unavailable (figured she was on strike, or something). Thus our having a substitute, dark haired, light skinned middle aged lady in dressed in black.

A few minutes in, the other students and I were handed a worksheet on early 20th century history. The teacher starts giving a lecture on such. But, I'm bored out of my wits, so much so that I drop my head on the table and fall asleep. Although the teacher sounded fairly annoyed, she continued her lesson without further delay.

During my nap, I figure out how unlikely this scenario was. I thus gained false awareness (lacked presence of mind to be truly lucid). Of course, I shrink myself down to a few inches, whereupon I run around making a nuisance of myself. I catch the attention of a passerby, a blonde gal wearing a blouse and skirt, but she was too young for my tastes. So, I warped her appearance until she was of more suitable age (maybe a bit older than intended, at least eight years older than I, but no matter). The lady chases after me for sport. I try dodging between her ankles, but shes seizes me quickly. She places me at eye level, scrutinizing the tiny figure in her hands. She questioned what I was even planning, which I admitted I was just enjoying myself. In response, she opted to do likewise, the insinuation being that it would be entirely at my expense.

It's then the giantess pretends to try to eat me, clamping her teeth just inches from me. Even then, I get spooked enough to try to placate her. I fire a slow, arcing wave of energy, soothing her to the core. She's so impressed, she states she'll keep me for "a little while". Uh oh. Not what I was expecting.

This scene repeats several times. In later instances, the giantess actually tries to eat me. She gets as far as gnawing on my shoulder, when I again try assuaging her with soothing energy. Even then, she claimed she'll still eat me eventually. as she reckoned such energies would magnify upon my being digested completely.

Don't recall how, but I awaken a few minutes later.

Dream 2 - Palm Dryad's Embrace

Dreamlet to lucid dream. The visuals were mostly clear. I was floating in a cloudy blue sky. Upon feeling cold winds, I was sure I'd successfuly phased into a dream state. I could never get enough of it...

A minute in, I decide to land, and ponder my next move. I find myself in a field of clovers many acres wide, suburban houses bordering miles away. Things got a bit unstable. I brush at the plants thoroughly to keep in things in check. With that settled, I decide to try and dilate time. I call out to the dream to grant my wish. Instead of such a request, time beings moving in fast forward. All around me, rows of clovers sprout, grow, wither, and rot, and the cycle would begin anew. This, in the span of just a few seconds. Similarly too, did a one-story, cool colored house ahead of me (which somehow was displaced to be just a few dozen yards away). I watched as it crumbled from disuse, only to be suddenly remodeled. Its last form was a bit taller than initially. More pertinently, a bunch of devices were sticking out of the roof and front walls, each primarily made of some unknown ceramic polymer. Was this the future? Or rather, what I perceive the future would look like? Although not what I intended, I was very much enthralled by the experience.

Around then, other urges get the better of me. I look around for any intriguing figures. It's then I spot a palm tree haphazardly placed nearby. On closer appearance, the palm had a feminine figure. All of a sudden, the tree warps its appearance, and begins moving towards me. It now had the likeness of a woman, impossibly lithe, and similarly tall. Her head was (quite literally) an oversized coconut, palm leaves brushed back as if long hair. Despite lacking a face, she could speak.

The dryad catches me in her limbs, holding me high in a tight embrace. Her "skin" was fuzzy and rough, just as would be expected of a palm. However, it was also comfortably warm. The nymph topples me into the ground. A very... wild, primal experience ensues.

But, minutes into the act, the dryad gives me a dire warning. "I cannot control myself much longer. Leave while you can, or I shall devour you.", she bellows. I didn't pay much heed, not that I needed to. That is, until her head cracked open, forming itself into a maw of jagged thorns. It wasn't a conventionally pretty sight. But, such danger, no matter how terrifying, proved, for a lack of a better word, enticing. I wasn't going to escape. Even after the monstrous dryad made earnest attempts at chomping at me, I made only the most necessary efforts to avoid her.

We went on until the dream faded. Re-entry a few minutes later.

Dream 3 - Specimen Cage Match

The visuals were dim. Dream re-entry into the void. I allowed myself top sink deeper, during which I think of tasks, settling for the superhero one.

Warp a minute in, I land on a darkened space. Cold, diamond-plated steel composed most of the room. At two sides were wide, hardened glass windows. Blue lights blinked from a malfunctioning terminal behind the window furthest from me. Many of the surfaces were in similar states of disrepair, if not outright cracked and dented. No doubt, some violent encounter (or series of such) occurred here. This gave the atmosphere of an abandoned sci-fi lab, and that I'd been trapped within a "specimen cage". Was the hero organization reduced to this, I wondered? Forced underground in the remnants of its former greatness? This didn't bode well...

In any case, I projected the shadow flames, which soon left behind most of my gear. Only thing missing was my left glove, which was instead replaced with a disposable blue latex glove. No matter, moving on. I then called out to my teammate/opponent, who I was sure was lurking nearby. Indeed, as soon as I did, a figure emerged from the shadows. To my surprise, it was the dryad from the previous dream. She wasn't anywhere near as tall or inhumanly thin (if still wiry), though her blank face and hair of palm leaves left no mistake with whom I beheld.

Without delay, I goaded her to a fight. The dryad slunk back to the darkest corner in an attempt to lay an ambush. Just as she'd vanished from view, she sprang forth. But, the attack was easily telegraphed, and I pushed her aside. Again and again, the tree spirit tried the same trick, to no avail. Eventually, I struck back with a five punch combo. As she flinched, I shrunk myself, ran beneath her feet, then restored my size from behind, where I hit her with a double neck chop. This maneuver KO'd the being in an instant.

Was this victory? If it was, it certainly was a hollow one. For one, there was no one else to spectate. More importantly, there seemed to be a serious mis-match in ability. There was no contest, no challenge. No stake at all. It just wasn't a satisfying conclusion.

As my mood darkened, so too did the dream. I woke up shortly after.

I had this werid dream between the time woke up after going to the bathroom after a previous waking up. The thing is in the dream-it looked like I was in my paternal grandparent's house. I was passing bying what appeared to be the living room area and the door was shut but I could see someone who kind of looked like Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter. He apparently was worried about something. Somehow went I enter the living room it turned into my parents' suken living room and I was somehow at the top of the 1 and a half steps going into the dinning room (well I was in the dinning room but I was sitting down)- now something unusally now is there was a very high-back chair which was in the middle of the bottom of the only actually step-between the dinning room and sunken living room- but Draco was still sitting on the couch-like he was at the beginning and he was talking to whomever was on the chair. I don't remember if I got the entire conversation or not-but what I did get is the voice (and I knew whose voice it was-Voldemort's from HP)-telling Draco about "deafeating both of their enemies" and I knew somehow that one of the enemies was me (it's obvious whom the other enemy was- Harry Potter)

Finally, thank you Lord! I have much less stress in my life.

I'm able to spend some time LDing and meditating. Mostly focusing on my betterment, healing, creating my own future... based on spirituality and it's link to science.

In my absence, I have had a random DILD here and there and some WILD experiences. Mostly recently, after I started focusing on it again.

Last week I watched youtube videos about meditating, past life regression, healing and creating our own future with power of our mind. Then I WILDed with intent of visiting a past life.
I had a bunch of exits. One of them took me into a village with some women and kids in front of an old house. I didn't see the surroundings, but I felt that we are inside of castle walls. I walked up to them and wanted to shake her hand. I asked her what's her name. But she didn't reply.

When I woke up, first thing I did was say Irene Ridel Stone. I have no idea why I said that and I don't recall having any dream with that name. Just for the heck of it, I googled that name and one result came up. Woman living somewhere in US, who died 4 years before I was born.


Yesterday (monday) I watched some youtube videos for relaxing, healing, creating own future, akashik records, past lives...
Took 3x300 Alpha GPC at 6:40am
Took 2x4 galantamine about hour later.
WILDed to deep relaxation video.
Woke up at 10:30 from what I estimate was 1hr long event.

I remember I couldn't get up or float up or wiggle myself out to roll out. Nothing worked. Everytime I was just there. In between, I realized I'm still asleep and I entered another landscape.

1. I'm flying at night close to the ground with ocean on my left. I'm trying so hard to steer that way but the force that's flying me is so much stronger and it won't let me go there. (I love ocean).

2. Nighttime again. Someone points out the Moon. I look at it with amusement, knowing, that I tried so many times to get there, but never succeeded. I'm not gonna try. A man behind me dressed in black with old fashioned hat tells me that he can get me there. I understand that he has powers. He grabs me and I jokingly say "oh, you gonna just throw me there"?. He does that, but it doesn't work.

3. I'm asking to see my past life. Another exit and I'm so happy. It's daytime. Sun is shining bright and it's a beautiful day. Everything so clear. I'm in front of my parents house. Instead of a small thick forest with lush trees and grass there is a small forest with palm trees. But there is no grass and sandy soil is very dry. Short palm trees are all laying down in all directions, as if from drought. I'm thinking that this is not past, but maybe future. When after climate change it will be warm enough for tropical plants to grow in Europe, and it will be dry.

I'm happy to have this what it thought will be the last lucid.

4. But then I materialize in a huge hall. A man walks up to me and hands me about 10 folders. Shows me a desk where I can look at it. It's my past lives. He says "if you need more, guy in Istanbul can tell you more". (just before WILDing, I read a few entries from my DJ. I know I have many dreams from Peru and from Istanbul. Not sure what came first, haha. Me living in Istanbul in a past life and that's why I have so many dreams from there, or I just read my dreams about istanbul, that's why the guy in this lucid said it).

But I ask him if I can look at the library instead. The wall on the left is huge, full of books and it's fascinating. I start walking around. A hallway that looks like in a theater takes me to a short stairway leading down. There is some people standing next to it and I understand it's not advisable to go down. That's where dead people go. I see some people down there and I know they are dead, and also a lady standing on top where I am. But for some reason she didn't go down yet.

5. Oh yeah. There was another exit. This time to a sunny ocean view. Beautiful tropical see, I fly to it and this time I'm able to go and enter water while grinning ear to ear from happiness.

6. Also, got lucky in 2 separate exits. : )


I'm super happy about my experience. I know there is something more to this life than what we see.

Lol I got logged out while typing this. Thank god it got saved : )

Looking for Jamie

Became lucid on something like a greyhound bus. Decided to look for Jamie since she's been AWOL for a while now, briefly showing up here and there, for all i know she could be dead or something and i'd never know. I go up to the bus driver and ask if he knows where Jamie is? He says no. I look around the bus to ask someone else but it's empty. The dream starts going dark a bit. I step down the front steps to the door. To the right of the door as a panel. I imagine removing the panel will take me to another dream space. I take the panel off and slowly step through. I wound up in a large house that appears to be under construction. All the walls are made of plywood and not drywall, and is not painted. The floors are all plywood but clean as in prepped for flooring. I wonder if i can use this place as a dream to find more hidden houses inside hidden rooms. Like a dream that goes on forever and all I do is explore endless houses strung together. I guess Jamie has slipped my mind by now. The dream starts to fade. I try and prolong the dream by leaning on one knee, placing my hand on the floor and counting the spaces between my fingers with one eye closed, (as per Hukif/Walm's suggestion) i start counting. I don't even get to 10 before the distortions start pulling me from the dream forcing me to wake up. I usually try to jump and escape them which usually makes the dream black and then it snaps back with super clarity. But not this time. I feel myself jumping but slightly hitting a ceiling and then I wake up.

Victoria

A dream about my friend who died of covid at the end of august... She was facebook messaging me. She knows she's dead in the dream and she kept saying sorry and that she was embarrassed that she died so suddenly...

Another death

I see a woman with brown hair at a funeral. I have a feeling it's Jamie, because of the way she doesn't acknowledge me. She's not here for me, She's here for someone she knows that passed on. It's an odd viewing. The casket is open but on a conveyor belt. (side note: I absolutely hate Viewings. The person is gone, with Jesus, or in hell, or showing up on celebrity ghost stories or something, That body is not them. You know on TV shows when they have viewings? And the person's face is all perfect? Well, it usually isn't, The muscles that hold the face together aren't working and their cheeks just sag down.) Anyway, in the dream the casket rolls by me and Jamie. Her cold ,I'm not really here, gaze breaks and she starts tearing up. She holds onto me and I give her a hug while she cries. Well I guess she knew I was there after all..

comment dream lucid

Failed WILD (light vibrations, I thought that nothing happened but I was probably dreaming about being in bed at that point or very shortly after).

I'm in bed. I get up and walk out of the room through a hallway. Something feels off. The movement - it's slightly slower and smoother. Am I dreaming? I raise my hand to do a nose plug RC but don't even finish it, the movement has a definite weird feel. I step into the room across from the bedroom where I slept and immediately know it isn't supposed to be there.
The room looks like a combination of my childhood bedroom and the bedroom in my in-laws' apartment.
What was I going to do? Trumps! And something else, but I can remember that later.

Trumps come from the Amber book series by Roger Zelazny. In the books, they are tarot cards used for communicating with the person in the picture and also for teleporting.
I've always loved Amber and came across the idea of using Trumps in one of FryingMan's posts. If I can get them into my dreams, it would be a neat tool for summoning DCs and for teleporting.

I try to get the cards out of my pocket. But I don't seem to have any easily accessible pockets. I remember the sweatpants that I wear IRL now - they have zippered pockets. I feel the zipper and unzip it. From inside, I pull out an old tissue.
I face a desk. There's a black phone on it, and music is playing. It's something modern, pop/techno/dance, mostly beats, I don't like it, but it's an original song and that's what gets my attention. I pick up the phone and say, "Play some rock." The music stops, but nothing new starts. "Classic rock," I specify. Nothing.
I leave the phone alone and return to the contents of my pockets. More pieces of tissue. A small piece of lined paper, as if cut from my DJ, but blank. Nothing more.
A DC enters the room. He wants to know what I'm doing with the phone. I pick it up again and say, "Play something." Now it works - the phone starts playing something techno-like again.
The DC walks to the other end of the room, where he joins another DC who was already there. I wonder what to do next. TOTM! I look around the room - the other DC is now just a little closer. I walk up to him and ask "What part of my subconscious do you represent?"
He looks at me in great surprise. "I don't know," he says, throwing up his hands. He turns to the other DC, but then turns back to me and says "Mrzoprs" with effort. I'm not sure I've understood correctly. "What?" "Mrzoprs," he repeats.

"Mrzoprs" is a nonsense word, but if I assume Czech etymology, it could be loosely translated as "regretboob" or "grumpyboob".

OK, enough. I have more goals to do.
I go out into a big atrium. My next goal needs me to fly. But my lucidity and concentration have dropped significantly and I'm having trouble getting airborne, as well as problems with my clothes getting in the way.
Then I get distracted by a friend who finds my attempts amusing.
Nothing else interesting happens.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some party, like at an art gallery, and there is Riverstone and a bunch of other people. They are serving lots of desserts in long tables in different rooms and I am planning to indulge in as many as I can. But as I grab a plate and go back to get some of what I have seen, I find them mostly gone and manage to grab only 3 tiny cake slices before finding that the buffet is over and immediately removed and all the tables are now exhibiting jewellery and other art pieces. I feel frustrated but they say they announced the time limit ahead and have a very strict policy about it.
Then I sit down and realize there is some sort of lecture going on the next room, but then it is no longer at this gallery but at my grandparent's old house and it is a meeting of some Jeovah's witnesses with my grandpa in his kitchen. I am sitting there and continuing to eat my cake slices and I see their judgemental looks over my glutony. When they get up to leave I walk them to the door and outside the hallway looks like a school hallway and not my granparent's building. I go explore and feel a mix of joy and freedom as I feel transported to my highschool years. I go around dancing and levitating and my dance becomes a bit more sexy and dirty and I think I even pole dance a little when I find some random pole in the hallways. As I encounter some prude teachers who start judging me, at some point I go blatanly sexual and expose my private parts. They go away in shock.
Further ahead I spot a teacher of mine telling another student some story about me. So apparently some teacher had asked another one about the students in our class, and the second one mentioned I was a total devil. But when she arrived to the classroom she was so surprised to see that I was this quiet little angel instead and they are discussing how I could hide it so well or something. I want to know more about it, so I come to them and ask what else happens in the story. They get spooked and say that is none of my business and leave.
Tired of all these people I start becoming aware of the dream and levitating high up in the air. From above I see hundreds of people coming and going, entering and leaving buildings, like little ants. Then realize I am also a little ant just like them. I think about what to do in this lucid dream, but have no idea, so I decide I"ll just watch whatever happens. Then I start spotting fleeting rainbows in the sky, reflected on windows, basically everywhere. and I think about how they are a metaphor for the nature of the mind. So I start trying to catch them. I spot a rainbow shining against a wall and I am close enough to touch it. It turns into a pattern of our brains white matter. As I focus on it, everything around starts turning blue, like I am inside a tub of dark blue jello. I think this might be another level of insight into the nature of the mind and I want to find answers. I start to see some letters and numbers forming and make an effort to decode it, but the thick jello makes it hard to read it clearly. In the ned it seems just like I am looking at some comemorative metal plaque on a wall and seems to mention the European Union or something and I feel really disappointed. Try again, same thing. So I get bored and try to get out of this blue stuff and get back into a normal world with people. I walk among them and decide to make another experiment. I want to go through them instead of treatint them like real people and see what happens. The first ones it feels weird, like I just actually push them to the sides and not really go through them. So they get mad at me and try to grab me, but it is like I have a force field around me and they can't touch me. I keep bulldozing through the crowd at ease. And then some start treating me like a goddess with super powers and start following me around. The group of annoying followers is growing and they are too clingy, so I find jewels on the ground and offer to them to distract them. It works. Then someone says I am getting phone calls on my cell phone and I break lucidity while trying to figure out where my cell phone is and who might be calling.

Morning of September 24, 2021. Friday.

Dream #: 20,003-02. 2 min 54 sec read.

Late at night, I watch sparkling silver cursive text (as if covered with glitter) move smoothly through the sky from right to left. I am on the front porch of a fictitious version of the Barolin Street house (where we have not lived in years). The text is not on a banner as it seems to be a solid sequence of plastic material shaped like the outer form of the writing, moving like a conveyor belt. I am unsure of the implication. I decide it may be unseen aliens because the text refers to humans collectively, using “you” (not me personally).

I describe it to Zsuzsanna as she approaches. As text often does in dreams, it continuously changes, but with some readable words and phrases forming and morphing here and there. There is a transition to a similar scene, but unresolvable indoor-outdoor ambiguity (impossible with conscious perception) is predominant before the narrative changes again. The entire neighborhood seems to be inside the house. The floating text is unlike silver glitter now and plain, “rotating” across the “ceiling.” (It is a common mistake in my dreams for the sky to become a ceiling or vice versa.)

Now it is daytime. The events are more vivid as I become more physically aware (temporary proprioception correlating with my specific level of REM atonia). Objects are continuously moving from left to right in midair, in front of the eaves of the porch. They first seem like miniature air conditioners. Zsuzsanna is to my left (as with our sleeping position). I know they should keep going, but a few of them fall from the sequence on the porch floor and outside near the porch door.

I pick up one object and throw it into the front yard. I soon throw another one that rapidly slides across the street into someone else’s front yard, though into a culvert drainage ditch (confusion with the Cubitis house in America). There is an unfamiliar dark-haired man who is also moving similar objects out of the way. I apologize to him. He remains cheerful. He tells me that the gadgets might be a type of camera. (This event is my dream’s most vivid part because of vestibular phasing, somatosensory phasing, and increasing, though imaginary, proprioception for eventual emerging from REM atonia.)

It is suddenly night again. I am temporarily concerned that the objects, like empty cardboard boxes at this point, might explode (myoclonic anticipation caused by REM sleep). Our middle son walks out into the front yard (from the porch) just as an explosion occurs (though he is about ten years younger in my dream). The explosion causes him to fly back through the top of the porch’s inner wall (physically impossible but a predictable outcome when remaining in the dream state after a REM myoclonic event). It is as if there was a gap above the window frames. He now stands near us and seems fine. I get the vivid impression of a simulated “war” or events caused by aliens that do not understand that humans can die. (My level of metacognition is low, so this is my mind creatively compensating for the fakeness of the dream state.)

In the next scene, multicolored glowing barrels are “rolling” in midair in the sky and “shooting” rectangular and square pieces of themselves at various buildings and people (though no one seems injured). At this point, there is a vague association with “Pixels” from 2015 (likely an influence for much of the content).

In my dream’s last scene, I walk up to an “alien” who seems to be fixing a public building. I talk to the unfamiliar man (who looks human). I tell him that Earth’s military might destroy their spaceships once they learn what is happening. Protoconsciousness (caused by REM cerebral phasing) initiates as an “alien” who reminds me of Melvin Belli as the Gorgan from the “Star Trek” episode, “And the Children Shall Lead.”

He holds up his hand, addressing the other “alien” and me while cheerfully saying, “Propaganda!” about what I said.

“That’s not what ‘propaganda’ is, you moron,” I shout. I explain what propaganda is to him as I slowly wake, but consider they might not understand other English words. Of course, this was the protoconsciousness catalyst that triggered more realistic emotion (more so than the earlier explosion near my son) as well as cerebral phasing.

---

Created Monday 20 September 2021

Got one LD to share from a few days ago. It took some effort, but it was more than worth it!

Dream 1 - Task of the Year 2021

The visuals were initially dim and slightly blurred. I was walking down a wilderness road during late dusk. Old train tracks intersected the dirt path several yards ahead. Further still, far into the horizon, flickered the vibrant, spinning lights of amusement park rides. At least two familiar figures were with me, though I didn't identify them.

It didn't take long to realize the dream state. I instantly launch myself skywards to begin the next TOTY. This time, I make sure to get my costume. I mutter a quick chant: "Through the Shadow Flames, I am FireFlyMan." It took three times to get results, upon which black fire roiled on my skin, leaving behind my appropriate gear (a black leather touring suit, gloves, etc.).

I look intently for the Superhero HQ, when the dream starts wavering into a black void. Wasn't easy to tell if I was awake or not. I wait patiently, looking for an opportunity. A minute later, a faint light appears. I force it closer, warping the scene.

Coming to, I find myself in the courtyard of a building complex, walls made of solid concrete blocks. Great ferns adorned much of the space, dampening a bright sun's beams. Looked kinda like a small college campus. Yet again, this wasn't a place that screamed "superhero", but oh well.

No one was in the immediate vicinity. I looked around, and stumble upon a white canvas canopy, splayed widely, yet supported by nothing but a single pole. I pass a wall by it, where I find a figure lurching behind a wall: a stout, haggard old woman, weather-worn dress and light hair frazzled under a rag flagrant signs of a destitute lifestyle. Still, I'd a mysterious sense she had a significant role in all this. And so, I asked her where I can sign up for the superhero team. She says nothing, but points back to the canopy. When I look back, I find a simple plastic stall waiting. I thanked her, and hurry there.

On the stall lay small forms, the fields asking for name, date, and signature. Using a nearby pen, I write as such, but before signing, I notice I put my real name. I glance back at that field, and see it actually asked for a "CoO" name, or "Character of Origin" name (whatever that's supposed to mean). Anyway, I crumpled the form, and got another one, only to see this wasn't the correct type. Worried, I sift through more, but couldn't find the correct form. Eventually, they became blank vertical-format cue cards. I grumbled "screw it", and decided to use that.

It's then I remembered I needed to finish an initiation. Suddenly, I heard both my brothers speaking over my shoulder, each pointing out other objects on the stall. I then spot a large ticket, bordered black with balloon and confetti patterns. A bunch of text was in the center, including a lot of disclaimers. Of that which wasn't the latter, I skimmed through. Said something like: "Congratulations... something something... thanks for joining... blah blah... ranks of heroes... yadda yadda... bring ticket... murmur... training starts at..." Those last words were confirmation enough: signing up was the initiation.

With that settled, I resumed writing. But, as it so happened, the pen ran out of ink. Frantically, I scrambled to get a mechanical pencil nearby. Simultaneously, one of my bros began poking me with such a device to annoy me. That, or to alert me of a line of people that were suddenly waiting behind me. The dream's way of creating a distraction, no doubt. I scribbled down my hero name, a random date, and my signature. Just when I thought I was done, my bro nitpicks me on that the date jotted down ended with "2011". I erase it, then write down another date, which happened to be 03/07/21. Good enough, I thought. I then smashed my form into a drop box nearby.

I take a long moment to reflect. Upon review, I figure I missed nothing. This gets me to celebrate with a tune. "I did it! I finished the initiation!", I sang petulantly.

By this point, the dream begins glaring. I hesitate to point the old lady out to my brothers. "Hey, I think there's more to her than meets the eye.", I murmur to them. It seemed my bros were uncertain of such. Before I could hear their full response, the dream collapses.

Date: 15/09/2021
Bedtime: 2.45am
Awakening: 7.15am
Return to bed: 9.15am
Method of entry: dream consciousness
Awakening: 11.30am
Attempt: successful
Phase experience: The Relative Experiment
Duration: 55 seconds

WAKING STATE

I return home from a school run with a strong intention to enter the phase state and carry out the experiment set by Project Elijah. I feel too awake when I lie down on my back so I decide to relax and meditate.

PHASE STATE

I am resting on my side with my eyes shut and hear a male 'radio' voice in my head. It's reassuring me that together we can overcome any problems and ended with, 'Don't worry, I'm always here if you need me ... I've got your back.' I feel like I have discovered a strong ally from my subconscious and take the voice seriously enough as a possible helper that I might wish to summon in the future. As I remain still, pondering about the nature of my own mind, I fall asleep.

DREAM STATE

Me and my wife are in the back of a red convertible, speeding down a motorway under sunny weather and facing the rear end of the vehicle as we watch a long stretch of road from our backseats. Our chauffeur, who seems to be a good driver, is unknown. Suddenly, I notice a naked man holding on to the side of the car. I leap in his direction and, fearing he might be trying to hijack our ride, attempt to kick him off it. The nude character proves to be quite agile and swiftly jumps to the bonnet and holds on for dear life. I begin to cautiously approach the miscreant in the hope that I might be able to strike him but this one moves to the driver's side. He holds on to the side mirror and struggles with the driver; wasting no time, I come to the rescue, managing to push him off the vehicle as it grinds to a halt with sirens growing louder.

The police is right behind us and the naked outlaw makes a dash for a barn on the side of the road in order to hide. 'There he is!' I yell at the cops as I give chase so as to not lose sight of the fugitive. I enter the barn and glimpse him escaping through a gap in the next splintered wall. Rushing to the gap, I break loose planks of wood in order to widen it and become astonished at the rustic vista beyond as I practically stand on the edge of a gully. 'Where did he go?' I look down and see a river shimmering in the sunlight. 'Am I dreaming?'

PHASE STATE

I plunge into the river from a great height without any regard for safety as I know I'm dreaming. The water feels just right. When I resurface and begin to swim along the steep riverbank, I notice that the scenery has turned into a vibrant, picturesque village. The riverbank is now a row of buildings and I leap out of the water to grip the plastic sill of a third-floor window, climbing upwards and turning my head to behold the rest of my surroundings and knowing that I am supposed to do something for Project Elijah. That's it! This is my opportunity to encounter my deceased mother-in-law Sandra and communicate with her for 'The Relative Experiment'. I glide away from the windowsill as I make out a building that stands out from the rest: it's an impressive black silo, clearly cylindrical and wide enough to remind me of a giant bin, but majestically adorned with gold-plated lines and a cross. The entrance is guarded by the figure of a black man wearing a cassock and I immediately take the structure to be a church.

'That's where I'll find Sandra! She's inside the church!' I go over the priest's head and fly all the way to the top of the silo, revealing it to be open and offering me direct access to its interior. I gradually descend to find myself landing between rows of pews and an altar, next to which is an open coffin. I hear the unmistakable coughing of my mother-in-law and witness her figure sit up from the ebony casket. Despite her strikingly realistic form, I am not scared even if a part of me emotionally entertains the possibility that I might be in the presence of Sandra's spirit. In fact, I want it to be her, but I also want to know exactly what I'm dealing with here. She looks and sounds so real! Her trim silver hair, her facial features and her familiar voice are on the money! She is well groomed, sporting a silky blue shirt and her frame is strong and healthy—contrasting her gaunt appearance in her final days. She seems distressed as she coughs and appears to be clearing her throat. When she is done, she looks up and bursts into tears before we have an emotional cuddle and sit next to each other by the altar to engage in the following conversation containing the questions I had planned beforehand ...

Sandra: 'What took you so long?'
Me: 'I'm here! How can I make Stacey happier?'
Sandra: 'Look after my girl!'
Me: 'I will, no worries. So ... What is your afterlife like?'
Sandra: (Cheerfully) 'Oooh, I've been to the moon! I've been to marvelous places! I can go anywhere! I've got mushrooms ...'
Me: (excitedly thinking of magic mushrooms and that Sandra might show me what she experienced via psychedelics) 'What? Let's take them!'
Sandra: 'Come, come!'

She gets up and takes my hand, leading me towards a doorway revealing another room with a few people gathering around a banquet characterised by a lot of fruit. Before I can enter the room with Sandra, I wake up unexpectedly.

WAKING STATE

I dash off key observations about my lucid dream and reflect on the experience. It is not the first time I meet Sandra, or deceased loved ones for that matter, in the phase state, but it is always an intense and emotional experience. Seeing and talking to them fills me with joy and I always act as though it is really them. Deep down, I want such figures to really be them and not mere products of my mind.

In hindsight, Sandra answered my first question regarding my wife as I imagine she would. Undoubtedly, my mother-in-law would want me to look after her daughter in her absence from the realm of the living. To the second question, Sandra replied in a manner giving a strong impression that I was really engaged in a dialogue with myself. I didn't realise it at the time, but, retrospectively, the fact that my mother-in-law said she had been to the moon coincides with my original plan to meet her, which was, 'Fly to the moon and find Sandra there.' And affirming her ability to go to marvelous places and anywhere she wants parallels my attitude to lucid dreaming and its possibilities.

The very first thing Sandra said to me in this experience, which was ask what took me so long to meet her, can tellingly reflect my internal dialogue after finally manifesting the conditions in which to execute this experiment. The mention of 'mushrooms'—which I instantly took to be the fungal growths containing psilocybin—in the reply to the afterlife question also seems out of character for the real Sandra and more pertinent to my own experience with psychedelics in my twenties. I often imagine deathbed visions to be akin to psychedelic trips brought about by the release of endorphins!

Nevertheless, there is a desire to believe that such experiences are encounters with the spirits of loved ones who passed away. Deep down, with all the emotions that this experience brought forth, I reluctantly refuse to dismiss, altogether, a scenario where I have communed with the real Sandra—who had access to personal memories of experimenting with magic mushrooms and used it to convey to me what her afterlife has been like—however improbable it is.

comment lucid dream

A considerably shortened version, it was 20-30 minutes dream

A very nice non-lucid in the 4th cycle, very light and mostly conscious sleep afterward. After an hour, I feel the 5th REM trying to start (vibrations starting and dissipating), but my mind is a bit too awake. I cuddle up with R. A minute later, vibrations again, and I finally relax into them.

The beginning
I see grey blurry spots and R is holding me tightly from behind (IRL we are in a spoons position, with his arm over me). I can barely move. Am I dreaming already? I don't want to risk moving in reality or opening my real eyes, so I close my dream eyes for a moment. But then it feels pretty stable, so I try to free myself. R holds me tighter and won't let go. I have to wrestle with him, and gradually the visuals come in, grey and blurry at first, then clearer and sharper. I throw him to the ground. He's lying under the table, all I can see of him are his legs. I want to unsummon him with a snap of my fingers, but I can't snap, so I just leave the room and forget about him.

TOTY
In the hallway, wondering what to do next. I don't expect anything from the dream, I have an unstable sleep in the morning as it is, and if R moves in reality, he'll wake me up.
TOTY comes to mind first, I don't expect to finish it, but why not try.
I walk into a larger room where a lot of old people are sitting at tables.
I call out, "Hey Dream! Superhero time!"
"Who can tell me what superhero I am?" I ask.
Two old men raise their hands. I point to one of them. He says something to me, but I don't understand. I lean over to him to repeat it, but I still don't understand. I call out the other. He says something that is more of a feature than a name.
"It's about the name. I am a superhero. Do you know my name?"
His eyes light up, he understands, he nods. He doesn't look old anymore, more middle-aged.
He says four French words.
Oh. Okay. "Could you repeat it?"
He repeats it slowly, and I say it after him. Word by word, sometimes he corrects me. We spend about a minute on it. Then I repeat the whole thing. He nods.
Nice. I start to ask about my powers but realize that's the second task. I ask about the costume and get the answer that it's in a cupboard there.
The entire wall behind the tables is made up of cabinets with doors, drawers, and compartments. I open a few and find random things, but nothing like a costume.
I walk out of the room, down a wide corridor, and there I see a toy store. That looks good. And I see a costume rack!
First on the rack is a burgundy dress with ruffles. Nice, fantasy, but not exactly superhero style. The second is a child's spiderman costume, that's closer, but it's not quite my size.
The customer who was talking with the saleswoman leaves, and I ask her:
"I am a superhero. Do you have a costume for me?"
She nods and hands me a toy wrapped in clear plastic. It's a bee, with a black and blue striped body and red details.
I'm confused. "Do you want me to use the colours? To have something made in these colours?" She nods.
Behind her stands a man, thin, stern-looking. He says something like I know there's a message there.
I walk out of the shop. I unwrap and take apart the toy, nothing.
But okay. Good enough. I continue out of the building, repeating the French name to myself. I should wake up and write it down, but no... I don't want to... I'll probably wake up soon anyway.

On my way out
I walk down the wide staircase, repeating my name to myself. I look around and suddenly I'm confused - where am I? Am I awake? Or still in a dream?
I do a nose plug RC and it fails. WTF. This again? (It failed for me for the first time 8 days ago.) I look at my hand and I have a sixth finger. That's better.

Flying
After training in a few previous shorter dreams, I'm getting much better at the swimming technique of flying. I take off, below me is a nice park built into a slope, further ahead are some fish ponds and behind me is a city.
I'm practicing faster flying (I'm still not good at that) and flying upwards, at altitude (slowly, but steadily). For a while, I just float on my back and fool around. Some people in sport suits run by, there's an air-running race going on. Then I try to spin and create a tornado, but I can't get enough speed.

Underwater exploring
I remember the goal of underwater exploring and fly into one of the ponds. It's deep enough to put me underwater. But it's extremely muddy, I can barely see anything. There are frogs croaking around. I try to breathe, and I have to remind myself that in a dream, you can breathe underwater. I can, but it's uncomfortable, a bit like inhaling mud. I have to keep reminding myself that it's possible. I don't like it in there, so I fly out. Better to try this in the sea, which has better associations. I sense the sea beyond the city, so I head there.

Chatting with KD and Vikings
I end up on some street with street food stands.
I try to recall the superhero name. Was it Jamon (with ch/[x] sound)? No, that’s ham in Spanish. It was French J. I vaguely remember the rest of the words too but I am not really sure.
My friend KD is there.
"Don't you mind that you sleep and dream too much?"He asks.
"I'm dreaming right now," I reply.
He voices some more criticism of my supposedly unhealthy lifestyle, but I shrug.
"Don't you think you've been here too long?"
For a moment I feel time dilation like I've been here for hours, but my rational self is quickly back and I estimate the time so far at 20-30 minutes.
There is now a wooden table next to me with a bunch of Vikings drinking beer.
KD continues, "What about your body, how do you know you're ok, what if you're in a coma?"
The Vikings are more interesting.
One of the Vikings is trying to rip a piece of wood from a bench to use as a wooden sword to fight me. I don't know if I want to fight. He has long dark hair and a Viking haircut. I kiss him on the mouth.
"Is this what you want?" He asks, a little surprised.
He gets up and walks around the table away, I go with him.

And I finally wake up.
Not remembering the name at all.

Total time IRL between cuddling up with R and waking up - 30 minutes.

Two Saturdays ago-I had this nightmare. It starts off with me being in a maze but inside the maze looks to be like the instead of Beast's castle. In the middle of the maze there's what looks like a statue. But it's kind of looks to be a cross between Disney Moana but she's in a Belle-like dress. She says she's cursed and I asked what's the story behind it. And she tells me both her family and a rivial family lived on a pacific island-during one weekend(?) they both have this "pancake" competion. This one time-the "statue's dad go over and the rivial family basically murders him and he turns into something like Moana's shell necklace (The heart of ?). The rivial family then turns the shell necklace into a pancake which the "statue" family (including the statue) eats but when they're "eating it" -what looks like ketchup-(but it's not ketchup) starts to leak out and in a horror sort of way starts to speak. And it speaks for awhile and one of them (the statue?) eats all the "pancakes" but the "ketchup" is still there and is ANGRY and is like a literally circular wave on the plate. But I woke up and didn't go back to sleep again

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

It's a freezing weather and some type of post-apocalyptical secnario or post-catastrophe situation. I am with some people at some place that looks a cross between my mom's home and a public hospital. For saving energy and heat, I suggest we close down some rooms for good and keep open only the ones with stuff we need. Then we gather in a few interior rooms which are more insulated.
Things get better later and some group is able to reach us. There are some famous faces among them. They are our contact with the exterior so I prepare a plan with some of my friends in which one of us goes with them when they go out again. My friends chose me to go, because they secretly conspire for me to hook up with a guy from the other froup, who is drop dead gorgeous and hot but he is clearly out of my league to even consider it. But I also secretly feel some hope once they mention it, so I go. Later on for some reason I do a prank to everyone on the group, by attacking them with cans of whipped cream in spray that I come across. They don't react so well, they look disgusted and humiliated but decide to ignore it. We still finish our mission and we eventually come back to get all the others.

Some surreal dream on a ship I can't recall. Then it is night and from the deck of the ship I see some dock below and a woman running away from a slender dark figure. I go down there and ask someone if they saw the woman being chased. I am told that a slender man has been terrorizing people, especially women, in the area. So I keep looking around trying to find them. I never see the woman again but Slender Man appears. First I freak out, but then I tell him he just met the one who will take him down. He laughs at me and for a second I doubt myself, but I am mildly aware that I am in control, so I stay firm. He tries to grab me and I sink my hand into his thigh. He screams in agony. I tell him I can rip him apart and I cause him more and more pain, until he is contorting on the ground. He starts losing his scary demonic look and now just seems like a very tall thin man dressed in black with a tall black hat. I feel horny with power, so I order him to undress. Turns out his got a nice body and I decide to abuse him as a way to subjugate him. He looks so scared and confused. I mention to him that I am dreaming and I can do anything I want. I tell him I want to rape him, so to keep undressing. I manifest some kind of really long black dildo and I sodomize him while somehow also riding it. I actually have an orgams from it in the dream and in RL.
So I think slender man will be out of business for some time 😂

On vacation in Belgium with mom and Riverstone. Somehow we are staying in an apartment full of our stuff and even my cats, so I am concerned about packing it all for the return travel coming in in a few days. But they want to go on a 3 day tour up north by the sea and I end up giving up on packing up. It's summer, sunny and the ocean is turquoise blue and gorgeous. But the towns are already putting up Xmas decorations.I find it so odd but it all looks so lovely, my mom gets very emotional.

I start this dream in many different places. Once I was at some weird place looks to be my older sister Dionne's house and I'm next to some lacy curtains. I'm on a bed and I get the feeling that laying down like in a previous dream would make me go into a computer game with other player. Of course I did not do that because it would not work in reality. So I blew off that idea and was wondering where it even came from. After that I'm now in a different scene. I'm outside in the apartments and I'm somehow lost. I'm trying to get to the correct area where my plaza was at but found my self with people and in an unfamiliar area. It wasn't the parking lot or the backyard I usually see, but a whole new place ashough there got mixed in with other random buildings. I'm looking for my mom and is trying to call her but phone is dreams never work, right?

After messing around with that for a bit I finally was able to make my way over to some familiar areas. I ended up finding my mom but forgot what she was saying, probably was wondering where I was since I didn't come home all night.

After that time waste I found myself waking up in sleep paralysis. I had some itching on my neck and sides but ignored them. I continued to ignore them till they got too intense then I moved and scratch both areas. After that I get teleported to a Church like place. There are people there singing and worshipping to music and someone calls me over. I come but I am on a balcony and didn't know it and the other person yells "no wait!" I stopped just in time to see myself about to fell on to the people below. I did end up dropping something metal on to them but no one seemed to have gotten hit by it.

After that close call The dream shifts to where I'm partially Lucid. I'm in a different place that looks like a huge chapel and I see transformers there. One is Stinger, the Pink bumblebee and he is where Optimus and them. Stingers face was all bubblegummy like and had no details like the rest of his body. There were other Transformers and they ran behind something and stood up against the wall. Behind me were Alien pods and if I touched one, who ever was the owner of that pod would follow me closely. I touched a random pod. I few seconds later a small soldier like robot started walking from around a pillar and towards me. He was gold and black in color and had decepticon like yellow eyes. I shook my head, nope and ran away from him. I'm now outside the building and heading down a long alleyway. I see the soldier follow me and is now flying with wings I never knew her had.! They span out behind him and were black in color with the gold outlining. I cut a corner and ran into a huge pile of red colored dirt. I started climbing it but had to stop because I started sliding down and getting all covered in the dust. I got off of that and as soon as I did, the dream shifted again.

Now I'm in a water filled place. And the person from earlier found me but he was now and Angry Water God like Aquaman. He pointed at me and yelled dishonorable things at me and began attacking me. He rose his Trident into the air and make little droplets of water float around him. They formed into spikes and he pointed at me, ordering them to attack. Like needles at shot at me but I was able to freeze them and shatter them before they can get to me. He then put his hand in the water at each side of him and them slowly started rising up his hands, as he did this a huge tidal wave began to form behind him. I prepared to brace for impact but then came up with a better idea. I waited till he sent them after me and as soon as the waves went under to rebellow up into the death claw slam, I thrashed my fingers out like I was using force lightning and when it came back up I was able to reverse the momentum right back at him. I seen a look of surprise just as the waves smashed into him, crushing the rock that he was on and sweeping him off of it. I began to feel sad about hurting him but need to defend myself and defeat him some odd sad music started to play. Angered with glowing blue eyes The Water God rose up and with his Trident began to create a huge water spout, with the rest of his powers he swirled the waves around with now his hands, creating a frightening water tornado. He aimed it at me and I began to freeze the water as he was rushing at me with it. The ice broke the water up into slinters and then froze his arms and then his body which was in its water form. His body was a blue colored and a glow to it, the ice made it way down to his body and broke it up. It was all over the rest of the God crumbled into the water, reforming into Aquaman who was now defeated. I looked at him in pity then shook my head and started to swam away, until I seen his body. It was still intact and was floating around in the water. It made its way over to me and I would have pushed it away, but saw his sad eyes looking up at me, ashough he was admitting to his defeat a gentle wave pushed his head into my arms and he smiled at mewith his blue eyes.

He responded to my emotions! I sat up next to me and relaxed up against some edge that was behind me and started eating chip? I find myself with a box of Cheez-its and ends up dropping them into the water, I quickly pulled it out and see that the bag is full of clear, blue water. Aquaman Saw what happened and made the orange squares float back up to the surface. He gives them to me but because we are trying to eat while swimming, dropped them again. this time they changed into random bits of pretzel, chex and a particular Pringle chip. I tried to get it but it always manage to float between my fingers and ended up too deep for me to get. I watched it disappear into the dark blue depths. Aquaman seemed to chuckle at my misfortune and then I see someone else in the water. She looked like she was injured from the fight but with my finger powers pulled her close to me to check and see what was wrong. Turns out she was jut chilling in a floatie, she woke up out of her relaxation and looked at me with her strange face. She had black and white, long curly hair and a shiny face from it being wet. I let her be since she was okay then the dream ended.