Side Notes
20th October 2021 Some in-line bracketed notes. Was too tired to properly write down initial notes on recall. Fragment: Growing female dream character, an NPC of some kind. She's white, her hair is not black but it's dark and tied back. I have to watch over her for a while to make sure I get points correctly for some reason. She is or gets to about three or four times my size. We're in water, or floating in the air? Before that, there was more going on in the same area, something about a dream thing? (Intrusion from "Dream Academy" related PM by MoonageDaydream, I really regretted not being able to hold on to this part of recall.) Even earlier, something about Ed Edd 'n Eddy (the cartoon); I'm talking to someone but seeing/watching the cartoon too? I mention that some of my interest in growth themes probably comes from watching cartoons like this. Some appropriately themed scene plays out in the cartoon, involving Edd mostly, I think. (I remember on waking considering how he was often a thematically unwilling victim, even in a case like this that might be "empowering").
16th October 2021 Fragment: Something involving myself in my reptilian form. (I had slightly raised awareness for a while but recall was lost.) Some kind of laboratory facility or complex? I recall some bit involving swimming and someone had invented some equipment that had nano forge vents that would absorb oxygen directly into the bloodstream, from the water. Some other part, travelling on a highway but in an odd place; sunny and mountainous/cliffy. There's an unfinished road on the return trip and I'd have to build the bridge somehow. Fragment: I'm at the old home, it's early morning and S needs walking. I want to, but can't find the things I need and get confused by a different layout of the light switches. (For brief moments I'd wake up and realise I was actually not at the dream location and that there was really no dog in need of a walk but then I'd drift back to sleep and the dream would continue on the same theme. H was there with me.) Then I'm at A somewhere near the mall. The layout is different and the buildings look different too. As I observe, I make conclusions about how I draw buildings based on the look of these buildings, near a threshold of awareness that's almost lucid. I remember carefully studying the outlines of the buildings. 18th October 2021 Recall faded for leaving it too long. Dream (fragmented): I'm in a town or city. It's very dark and night time, and I'm in a car or something with someone driving me, possibly H or family. Then I notice these empty buses being escorted into a residential suburban area. In the dream there's some pretext about overpopulation and some event to which people will be going to, the next day. I comment on this out loud, I think in a disappointed or judgmental way. (When I woke up, I thought about how this seemed like a preparation phase for a change in my personality. A lot of dream characters to move.) Earlier in the dream. I'm with H in the car and we're stopping somewhere. We're in a similar residential area with detached housing, it's daytime and overcast. Then we're in a house but it has a more office-like feel. There are two white men here, both older than either me or H. One is an electrician and the other someone relating to this place. We help with some issue, a rug trapped under a bit of carpeted floor. The office guy appreciates the help but doesn't quite like the result of what we've done even though the previous situation had caused him an injury. There's some kind of table nearby? A pool or cue table, maybe. Earlier again. Something in a city, outer view from above of a skyscraper which I'd previously seen in the dream, only head-on or at street level. The top view showed a weird outline, it had the shape of a Liberty star from FL but something else too. In the dream it made sense as to explain something about the building, when seen in a profile view. I was in some kind of complex before any of this. 19th October 2021 Fragment: Vague recall. I'm in our bedroom but in the dream context I'm not sure it feels that way. It's dark and maybe night time. I'm ordering food somehow? Getting fast food, I think someone recommended I get McDonald's. Dad is here at one point and we're talking, we're outside somewhere, again night time. I think the dream jumps between these two settings a few times. Notes: - In the 18th's dream, there had been transitions, but like many other dreams lately, when I come to writing recall down for dreams, the transitional periods between scenes often just fizzle away from memory and I know that in some cases the dreams were long and continuous.
Some in-line bracketed notes. 12th October 2021 (First and third dreams, long and bordering on epic, as well as being vivid, to the point that I still have decent visual recall of the last one even now) Fragment: I'm outside somewhere. There's a post-apocalypse sense. It's daytime and sunny and I'm atop a mountain of sorts. There's a crashed jet that has been here a while by the looks of it. I am descending the mountain carefully. The path I need to take isn't clear. Something about O and K (H's friends) and this feeling like a survival game. They have a base together somewhere in a cliff-side and I feel they are trying too hard at efficiency. At some point at the base of the mountain, there are undead and I fight them in first-person with a knife of some sort. H helps me in some way. This area looks crypt-like, but ruined. (The vastness of the game area makes me think of that area in Cybermancy that takes place on... Mars? But this feels more Earth-like environment-wise and stuff looks a bit unpolished) Later, night time in a village of some kind. There's an inn? Context seems more normal now though. Dream: Something about me and two other people, maybe siblings or friends. We hijack ourselves into someone's family car. We ask them forcibly to take us somewhere out of a city. It is daytime and sunny. The place we reach is some old and small fortification. It has rounded edges and is painted white but looks abandoned otherwise. The man in the car, the driver, vents his frustration about the situation at some point, and doesn't want to leave? Before we get out of the car, I give his wife a teal 25 euro note, as compensation for taxying us. I remember at first the notes felt just like one, but I realised they were more just stiffly rolled together. I was going to give her a yellow 20 euro note at first. Out of the car. There are some external stairs to the top. Inside, there's a plain room with a door that I know to be hidden behind a curtain of sorts. My companions go in there, but I don't. I go back out and up atop. Dream: I am in a place like Karazhan but even bigger. I think I tell H about it, do not recall reply. I'm with a 25-man group and HW is here I think. There's a boss that's accessible on an outdoor rampart. It's gloriously sunny and bright outside, almost over-exposed and white, but the boss is actually in a room past the end of this short-ish and curved rampart. The raid group is behind me in a hallway and someone has to go pull the boss, I say I will. I run in the darker flame-lit boss room and get in aggro range, then using evasion and sprint away back to the main raid group. I have cloak of shadows ready to use at any moment and I let the tank take the boss off me and the end of the hall room the raid is in. I start to deal damage, very slowly and cautiously, but nobody else does the same. I use feint regularly and the rest of the raid group starts attacking but even despite all my caution I am starting to gain too much threat. I vanish at least once to clear it off but quickly builds back up. I get targeted and end up dying. Somehow, in the end I still did the most damage and am revived after the fight. For some reason a few others also died but not from pulling aggro. My class seems to be a mix of a rogue and a paladin. When I am revived I buff with greater blessings as appropriate, which as always I find somewhat annoying to do. We go into the darker areas of this enormous alternate version of Karazhan. We walk for quite a while and go up ramps and such. At some point we come out at a bit that is like the interior of Blackrock Mountain but even more vast and a bit of a blend with some general areas of Molten Core. I realise I can mount at this point and quickly take a detour near some pouring magma bit, and take a quest there from an NPC I think. Then I rush back on a swift grey ram mount towards the next area's entrance. This is much more like MC now and the next boss is some kind of golem.
All the dreams this week weren't good. Jamie 1 Jamie seemed mad at me. Telling me she's never going to talk to me again... I think I always knew that deep down. But one can hope. Jamie 2 Some nights later Dreamed I saw her at a bar but she was avoiding me. Map I'm looking at map of where I live. There's a road east and west. South is Lethbridge. Under my town is shaded dark red. above the down is a lighter red. There are words describing each shaded region but I forget what. There is an icon on the east end of town it is a face of a native american with a red bandana. He looks sinister and the dream implies he's cursed this region. (IWL, It has been snowy and icy and I have called in at work too much not wanting to drive these roads. This dream was a day before the snowfall, Felt that the drean predicted this???) Don't drive One one of the days I was going to go to work (but called in anyway) I had a series of dreams of dogs biting me and people fighting me. Dream 1 I was in my house and a bunch of dogs that looked like my dog were trying to bite me. I had a razor and cut on of the dogs legs. It yelped and started bleeding everywhere on it's hind leg. Asuka and maybe data were there I asked them for a rage and something to tie it with to stop the bleeding. Dream 2 Someone was on the front end of my house with a gun. I was in a garage behind a white van. I got a peek at the intruder and aimed my pistol or something at him. I shot him and it hit. Dream 3 I was fighting someone on stairs. It was Gary, a friend from childhood who ignores me now. I Was hitting him with some pole and he stopped trying to fight me after he fell down the stairs. I asked, "Are you done?" He said, "Yes." I asked him "Why don't you talk to us anymore?" He looked shocked. I said, "I don't even do drugs or drink hardly at all." And he still looked shocked and seemed to be considering what I was saying. Then I woke up. After I woke up I found that the rods that were clear before were snowy and icy again... Dark Hogwarts I was getting off the Hogwarts express with a bunch of children in cloaks. I was young like them. Everything was so dark even with the lights, it was nightime nd I couldn't see much. I saw the Cone shapes of the tops of the Hogwarts towers as I was walking along but coult still barely see them.
Jamie Just a dream with her in it. Can't remember any context. She was just around and really seemed happy to see me. ok A couple dreams about some other girl I used to work with. Lost? Dream about being lost in some big house and my uncle was there? Can't remember much detail for any of these dreams...
Church. Had a dream I was sleeping in some old church or something. A girl was with me. i flew up to the ceiling though I wasn't lucid. I had a little room with a bed set up. We ate something. She was a white girl with red hair??? anyway we flew somewhere else and wound up in a stairwell that was also an elevator. We couldn't climb because of a construction crew? So we somehow jumped up past them and into a hallway. Wound up in some room and She was playing a piano... but was sitting on top of it and playing the keys reversed. She made this amazing sounding music and I felt live falling in love. Then we got up and left somewhere. No kids Another dream where a young girl asks me about sex or something. And i get kinda pissed off and say that children should not do that. It's really damaging to them, physically and plus lifelong emotional disorders. And i said that the adult in that case would get thrown in jail and murdered by inmates with children, so it's no good for anyone involved. Really odd dream to have. End of the world. I'm driving with my brother. At first we see a huge volcano in the distance going off. And I get really scared. As we drive into calgary I see a bunch of nuclear missiles from North Korea in the sky. My brother just laughs and says nothing is going to happen. I forget what happened after. No jamie dreams.
Crazy Was on a dirt road outside some restaurant. Went inside there was a group there. They were being really noisy. Some strange bald Native American girl started attacking me for no reason. Her head was shaped like the people in "Coneheads." The group pulled her off me and they all left the building. I went outside angry and everyone from the group was in a large green bus. They talked to me for a bit and then pulled out of the driveway. I saw someone at the other side of a pond watching me. He seemed familiar like someone I work with and I called to him. His face distorted and i became lucid. I kept telling him I knew him and that this was a dream. eventually he walked away and the dream ended. I don't know Why I waste so many lucids on telling people that it is a dream... Wrong I was in some living room when a young girl came up to me and said I could touch her. I was like, "wait. How old are you? Can I see some ID?" or something she answered twice both times giving a different age. Both were underage answers and I felt like this was a bad situation That I should just leave. I remember getting up to leave and that's where the dream ends. Jamie? A dream with Jamie in it. She seemed a lot taller than I remember, and she wasn't talking to me or happy with me? not sure.
24th September 2021 Left recall too late. Fragment: I'm in Gruul's lair, it's mostly like in WoW but something seems more realistic in detail, characters maybe? Me and a raid group kill Gruul rather quickly. It's a 25 man group but oddly most of the characters aren't actual players? I remember talking to someone too. 26th September 2021 There were other dreams but recall was again left too late I think? Fragment: One bit where I'm in space with an Avorion spaceship. I approach one of those concentric asteroid ring formations. Something later about dad talking to me about a mission or a bet which is worth sixty eight million. I am dismissive. Notes: - Maybe the realistic character details come from recently playing Conan Exiles. - It may have been that I was speaking to L in the Gruul's lair dream but I cannot recall. There seemed to be some kind of backwards logic to the raid progression. - I haven't actually been playing much in the way of space games.
13th September 2021 Recall mostly gone, left initial writing for too long. Fragment: I'm on our street but it's not like in waking life. It's a mix of streets from old London as in films and also of where H's mom lives. I just gout out of the car, maybe on my own. It's day time, but overcast? In the dream everything has a very real feel to it. As I'm dreaming, my memory feels fuzzy; "18, that's not the number of J's door, but this doesn't look like our street?" I think to myself. I'm not sure what conclusion I made but I eventually go to ring the doorbell and go in. J is here briefly, I think. The house looks nothing like any of our homes, it just seems dream generated. Something about a pit or elevator shaft. Some task or chore that needs doing, possibly related to it? While indoors, it seems like the outside gets brighter than it had been. 20th September 2021 Scraps: Getting into fights and arguments with my eldest sibling. As a dream character he blends with some stereotype/nasty dream character archetype. He's treating me like shit and has called me pathetic a great number of times over several days (false memory). I threaten him saying "I can change but you won't like it." I resist an urge to flip the dining table against him. Mom and dad defend me in their ways. Dad mentions something about if he'd had the dream/nightmare that I had... (my recall of this trailed off but there was an implied behaviour that he was being understanding) At some point I throw a wooden chair against the wall. (It breaks?) Night time, we're in the second floor of the old home, the kitchen is L shaped. Some other dream also involving old home themes, recall vague. I remember looking at some M/M stuff (on the computer?) and then some kind of disagreements? 22nd September 2021 Fragment: In a supermarket with H. Very realistic, completely dream generated setting. Lots of running (literal?) around, as it's closing soon. Night time, they dim the lights but too much, I feel. I hope that H will complain as I am running around. Then the lights are still dim, but more acceptably so. Notes: - Recall has actually not been too bad in general for the last few months, but I keep leaving recall too long or falling asleep again without enough awareness to either recall later or to set an intent to notice I was falling asleep. - In the second fragment, there's some sort of mirroring with the initial context and an incident when I was six or seven, at school.
Victoria A dream about the other Victoria I used to work with... An old co worker came up to me in some office building hallway and told me that the other Victoria has just passed. I was really shocked. Note: I follow her as friends on fb. She hasn't been online for like 6 days. I'm not even gonna go there... Island Really crazy dream about a really small island on a lake. I was with some people. A woman with brown hair. Jamie or Asuka, couldn't tell. And maybe two others. The dream island manifested Giant animal spirits of people. Talking like King kong Giant. One guy stepped on and there was a large ape like king kong. Someone else manifested a giant lizard. I stepped on and a giant green cobra came out of the ground. The brown haired woman stepped on and another giant cobra sprang from the ground... Only it had 3 heads!!! The island itself was like only 50 feet wide, so the animals keep trying to fight, but when one of us gets knocked from the island by the creature it vanishes, and when we go back on it, the monster comes back. So we keep getting knocked off the island and running back on. Lots of crazy fights going on. Data Was outside a house at night time. Apparently it was my house. I walked up and the porch light is on and Data walks out the front door. Data from Star Trek. His pale skin looks painted on. I can't believe it's him. He greets me like he knows me and I just can't believe it. I wake up and remember That in my inner world house. I do have a character named Data who lives there. Although in a decade this is the first time I actually have seen him as the character. Usually he's very vague in image, like a shadow. I sometimes think he has glasses on.
8th September 2021 Fragment: (from an earlier awakening, most detail lost) I'm with someone. It's a person of an alien species. He (?) is like a gel of energy that is contained within a humanoid shaped vessel. In the dream I eventually understand that this is purposefully metaphorical. He is very young and is more mature than most humans but has much to learn. His species gains the ability to take on other forms as they get older but for the most part for now he can only leave the humanoid shape and take an amorphous shape. We are friends and do things together, but I forget what. I think he sets up a physical MMO server thing of some kind and other people start joining our realm (BL intrusion?). Eventually, he finds another person of his species and I'm happy for him since he can share his unique aspects with someone else. I remember he actually also had the ability to exit his humanoid vessel and go into other objects. At one point he goes into one of two giant screens and his friend does the same with the free screen. This was relevant for the MMO thing but I don't remember how. The setting seems to be mostly urban, semi-futuristic. At some point we're inside a great house or hall, it feels like an ancient library, with a techy feel. Notes: - The shapeshifting gel energy being is obviously an intrusion from ST: DS9, since I have been watching this recently. In the dream it felt novel, and at the time of first recall it still had some of that feel.
5th September 2021 Fragment: (micro dream/daydream after having woken, slightly more aware than during regular dreaming but not lucid) Driving around in a learner car. Daytime, clear weather. I'm with a (white?) male driving instructor. Going around a countryside bit with some awareness of a river of sorts running alongside the curvy road I'm on, the view of the river is blocked by typical reeds. The driving instructor throws some litter out the window, looks like some kind of metal foil. I think this is so wasteful, so I make us stop off the road in the middle of a floodplain farm field, having cleared the more dangerous part of the road first. I get out and tell him to get out too (aggressively?) and I start heading for where the litter was thrown. Notes: - Though the instructor has a "teacher" role, he has bad habits and in fact ends up being the one who's bossed around by me. -- My attitude overall through the segment is one of confidence, not overly so, just enough to feel like I am doing the right things and not doubt myself too much. -- Notably I also wait to express my anger by first clearing any traffic and driving off a spot that's least dangerous despite doing so in a reckless/angry manner. This is some sign of self-control, something that I feel could be doing better, at the time of writing this entry now. - The dream location was very much like areas of my native home but with some mix of certain lakes near where I live now.
4th September 2021 Fragment: I'm with my family and my god mother's family. We're in some kind of hall, but it looks like a bigger version of my childhood bedroom, at least in layout. It also feels partly church-like. There's an on-going conversation about money, savings and debts. It's established that our family has less savings but also potentially much fewer debts to pay. Then some discussion just between me and my siblings. We head outside and it's sunny, low angle, maybe misty. (maybe earlier in the dream, disjointed) Some bit about needing the deuterium power cell to be replaced for the auxiliary power system of a flats building, maybe where aunt B lives. The deuterium radioisotope generators is in a small outbuilding that's fallen into disrepair, in the shadow of the apartment building. There's a presumably lead-lined window that gives a peek inside. There's a cyan-blue glow inside. I worry on some level about being exposed to radiation. (disjointed, part of a living dream memory of sorts) I'm at a place like a mall or the cinema in a mall, reminds me of the one near home. Black or very dark walls? Dark flooring. There's something about WoW. (the false memory feels like it's part of my teen years but being relived) Some other bit later on. A church place again? There's a coffin I think. Something about a corpse is important. I fight with someone, a frail-looking but kind of mad (insane) person? Notes: - Even almost twenty days after having first written this dream, my visual recall was notably better than I was expecting. - In the dream and on initial recall I didn't think of it, but the cyan-blue glow chamber with the radioisotope cell somehow now reminds me of that dream I had with the lizard and the blue energy core. Very similar glow. Additionally, this small chamber was notably much darker than it should have been. - Most of the dream involved warm colours apart from that glow.
Looking for Jamie Became lucid on something like a greyhound bus. Decided to look for Jamie since she's been AWOL for a while now, briefly showing up here and there, for all i know she could be dead or something and i'd never know. I go up to the bus driver and ask if he knows where Jamie is? He says no. I look around the bus to ask someone else but it's empty. The dream starts going dark a bit. I step down the front steps to the door. To the right of the door as a panel. I imagine removing the panel will take me to another dream space. I take the panel off and slowly step through. I wound up in a large house that appears to be under construction. All the walls are made of plywood and not drywall, and is not painted. The floors are all plywood but clean as in prepped for flooring. I wonder if i can use this place as a dream to find more hidden houses inside hidden rooms. Like a dream that goes on forever and all I do is explore endless houses strung together. I guess Jamie has slipped my mind by now. The dream starts to fade. I try and prolong the dream by leaning on one knee, placing my hand on the floor and counting the spaces between my fingers with one eye closed, (as per Hukif/Walm's suggestion) i start counting. I don't even get to 10 before the distortions start pulling me from the dream forcing me to wake up. I usually try to jump and escape them which usually makes the dream black and then it snaps back with super clarity. But not this time. I feel myself jumping but slightly hitting a ceiling and then I wake up. Victoria A dream about my friend who died of covid at the end of august... She was facebook messaging me. She knows she's dead in the dream and she kept saying sorry and that she was embarrassed that she died so suddenly... Another death I see a woman with brown hair at a funeral. I have a feeling it's Jamie, because of the way she doesn't acknowledge me. She's not here for me, She's here for someone she knows that passed on. It's an odd viewing. The casket is open but on a conveyor belt. (side note: I absolutely hate Viewings. The person is gone, with Jesus, or in hell, or showing up on celebrity ghost stories or something, That body is not them. You know on TV shows when they have viewings? And the person's face is all perfect? Well, it usually isn't, The muscles that hold the face together aren't working and their cheeks just sag down.) Anyway, in the dream the casket rolls by me and Jamie. Her cold ,I'm not really here, gaze breaks and she starts tearing up. She holds onto me and I give her a hug while she cries. Well I guess she knew I was there after all..
2nd September 2021 Dream: Aboard a spaceship. It's dark in most hallways and rooms and there's a general eerie feel, like how I used to feel about the dark as a child. Some parts of the ship look like the Nostromo in a Weyland-Yutani style. There's discussion with some characters and we're talking about Vulcan. I seem to have future knowledge that it will be destroyed by an explosion but I keep it to myself. A guy is talking about his brother having gone to Vulcan as a trader. I see out a central window in a dark room and there's a planet with a green atmosphere, framed perfectly by the round window. I go away from the rest of the group on my own, I think just through into some other nearby rooms. There's a WY wall-mounted bulky junction thing, over a doorway (resembling corridors in the Pods). This thing has a flashing red light, possibly beeping too. I notice that the flash seems to slowly be gaining speed. This unsettles me, telling me something is wrong. In the dream I can't seem to remember what the thing is for and when I ask nobody else seems to know or care, being preoccupied with their own conversations or thoughts. Nobody takes this seriously. I feel there may be an alien (xeno) aboard. (recall gap) Then, I'm in the mess hall, which is nearby to where I was before. There are two or three dozen people here, all eating from bowls and stuff, but there are no tables or chairs. There are a few kids too. An adjoined kitchen has workshop-like tools, like buzz saws, table saws and the like. All of this just makes me feel uneasy and I imagine or fear accidents relating to these tools. One kid in the mess hall has a cyborg hand with a circular saw attached. He's cutting beef jerky with it, or some other kind of stringy meat. I am or become one of the kids at some point, possibly early teens? Everyone eventually leaves except for myself and a couple of other kids. This unsettles me, like something terrible is going to happen, still because of that eerie feeling about the darkness. The other two kids, a tall slim boy and a short fat boy, start picking on me and won't let me leave. We get into a slow struggle but I eventually break free. I forget the rest of this part. (recall gap) Somewhere outdoors-like and sunny, but I just walked there in the ship, it's just some section of it. Some other characters, I'm accompanying them I think. Despite the changed environment the eerie feeling remains in some places that are indoors here. I forget most of this segment but at the end I'm talking to a male doctor, a psychologist. We're sitting at a bench in an outdoor cloister bit with benches. There are other people around, passing by or whatever. We discuss some problems of mine (which specific to this dream-life) but I forget what is said exactly. Notes: - For quite some time I have been wondering if or when I'd ever dream about one of the Alien films. Oddly enough, after waking from this dream, I didn't remember this, despite realising there were some similarities between the dream environment and the setting of the first film. - I haven't known or felt that fear of darkness in a number of long years, it's a fear that I think I must have worked a bit to overcome but that also kind of just went away on its own. -- It's notable that I can't remember ever having felt this eerie feeling in a dream before, but it's possible I just don't remember any specific instance anymore. - I couldn't notice any outer details of the ship from the windows. -- The planet I saw was probably based off space games I've recently been playing. But the (vivid, tending toward yellows) green atmosphere is probably symbolic, as it's a colour I associate with death, envy and other sinister feelings or effects. This seems pertinent with the rest of the setting and mood. - The unwillingness of other characters to cooperate or listen probably relates to how characters are often portrayed in the sort of film like Alien, where you always seem to have stubborn or ignorant characters that make everything worse. - On some level, the ship having the self-contained outdoor-but-indoors environment is probably related to a story I've been working on for a while now. - Despite the feelings in the dream, this wasn't really a bad dream, especially since I've been waiting for something like it to come up.
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