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I was with my parents and possibly my brother, and we were getting ready to go to the beach. I had also invited J. However it started to get late and the sun went down. My parents were now reluctant, but I still wanted to go. So we left for the beach in our Suburban. We stopped near the shore were another family was already set up. There were little children playing in the water, though the water was very shallow and surrounded on all sides by sand. I contacted J to come but she was occupied at the time. Next I was rehearsing with a pianist. She needed practice playing Brahms clarinet sonata I. I had the music but it was apparently the wrong arrangement because I could tell there were parts where I should have played and I did not. I told her I was sorry and went to look for my actual music. I told her the part I was playing on was for younger players. I went to what looked like my game room and ruffled through stacks of music, though I could not find it. MRD showed up and said something about how he always made fun of me (in a playful way of course). I asked why. I told the girl pianist that we should just try to keep playing. I guess I was planning on using my memory. However, I woke before we played again. Soon after agreeing to play again I realized the part was in my green folder in my clarinet case.

I had a dream which was sort of lucid. I was aware of some things, but I was still really connected to the dream's story line and didn't even think to abandon it and complete my goals.


Teleportation and Time Travel

I was driving through an unfamiliar big city (dream sign). I came up on a big hill and started to go down. I realized that I couldn't reach the brake. I also realized that I wasn't even in the drivers seat. What was I doing driving a car from the passengers side (another dream sign!)?? The car was picking up speed. I would soon reach the bottom of the hill and crash if I couldn't get to the brake. I stretched my leg. My foot kept getting caught on things in the way. Finally when all seemed lost, my foot touched the brake pedal, and I was able to apply pressure until I stopped.

I decided that I really didn't want to be driving here in this big city. I needed to go back home. But then I looked over and saw that I was about a block or two from the ocean. Suddenly Tanya was with me. I said, "Let's go walk on the beach for a few minutes before going back, shall we?"

I made a left turn to try to find a place to park, and we were suddenly on foot. We walked past all these cool looking restaurants. I wanted to go in one, but decided to do that on the way back. We continued to walk. I noticed we were both pushing baby strollers. I think it was little Charles in mine. Not sure who the other baby was.

As we got closer to the beach the shops were further apart, less fancy and looked a lot more run down. A guy came out of one as we approached. He held up some things he was selling. It reminded me of being in a foreign country. I told him I wasn't interested in buying anything. Suddenly he pulled the strollers (and us) into his shack and handcuffed the strollers to a pole. I was feeling quite afraid. I don't know why I didn't think to scream for help. But then I realized something. I'm lucid, I thought. (I wasn't lucid enough to create a whole new dream scene, but I was lucid enough to know I had power over the situation). I told Tanya to grab my hand and close her eyes, and I would get us out of there.

I pulled us all close and closed my eyes and transported us back to the busy shop area. Not only did I do that, but I had transported us back in time by a couple hours--so the bad guy wouldn't come after us.

It was such a feeling of accomplishment. I knew I had never done anything quite like that in my dreams before.

I think I lost lucidity after that. I remember meeting up with Jacob and looking at things in one of the shops.

With family we had a free trip around the world. First, we decided to enter a secret government laboratory placed under our house. We went to the basement and opened a trapdoor. It was dark inside, light's weren't working.

We concluded that there was a disaster in the past, and decided to go out of there. Suddenly, a GUI of a graphics editing software appeared. I could make new layers, paste objects, alter them - and they appeared in reality.

I changed the main background from a dark, abandoned laboratory into a sunny beach. Then I edited the whole image to my liking, adding more and more details. My last change was to make reality look like it was painted by an artist.

Ritual: Last night I experimented for the first time with kava kava root (Piper methysticum). I had read many anecdotal reports that it instigated vivid dreams and perhaps even lucidity, so I thought it was worth trying out. I ordered some dried powdered root from an online herb and spice supplier that I trust. I don't have any doubts about the freshness and quality, as the package confirms that it was packed earlier this month and sourced from Vanuatu. I had read many reports of people complaining about the taste, describing it as "muddy," so I was surprised when I opened the package and encountered the most extraordinary and delightful fragrance. The plant is related to pepper, so it made sense that the scent would be peppery, but there was also something delicately floral about it and even a hint of wintergreen.

I had abstained from alcohol all day, since the two should not be consumed together, and my plan was to drink the kava before bed. I had a late dinner, ending at 11pm, so my plan was to give myself two hours to digest, then start drinking the kava at 1am and go to bed a few hours afterward (unless it made me too sleepy before that, which seemed like a distinct possibility). I don't like cold drinks late at night, but I read that you could warm kava gently without destroying its properties, so I adapted a recipe for "Mexican Hot Cocokavachocolate," blending two tablespoons of powdered kava kava (half what the recipe calls for, as I didn't want to overdo it my first time), two tablespoons of cocoa powder, agave syrup, a spoonful of cinnamon, and a generous pinch of cayenne with about two cups of almond milk (I skipped the vanilla extract suggested by the recipe because I didn't want to use even a tiny amount of alcohol). I blended this until it was frothy and then separated it into two mugs, putting one in the fridge—I planned to start with a minimal dose, and work up from there if it felt warranted. The other mug I heated briefly in the microwave, just enough to warm it, and then topped it with a dusting of grated Himalayan salt and freshly made whipped cream.

Okay, I'll admit I have a slightly weird palate (for instance, I *love* the taste of wormwood), but this was one of the most delicious dessert drinks I have ever tried in my life! It was so much better than regular hot chocolate; the spices and kava gave it exceptional depth of flavor and an unusual aftertaste. I didn't even need to strain it: I don't know if my powder was ground unusually finely or if the almond milk held it in suspension better than plain water, but it only added body, not grit, to the concoction.

I'm glad that I had done enough research to anticipate the curiously numbing, analgesic sensation that spread from my mouth all the down my esophagus, because that's the kind of thing that would really worry you if you didn't know it was supposed to happen! I sipped the kava very slowly over the next hour or so, to make sure my stomach didn't have any problems with this new experience. Everything was fine, and the onset of bodily relaxation came quickly, though my mind remained clear. After the first mug I felt like it would be fine to drink the second one I had reserved, so I slowly consumed that too. Despite the heavy feeling in my body, it never did make me drowsy, so I played SWTOR until 3:30am and then read DV and some LD books to prep for bed, retiring at 4:30am. I should note that I never felt any trace of euphoria, either, an effect that some had noted. That didn't bother me, though: my only interest was in enhancing my dreams.

Unfortunately, in that respect, the kava kava was a total bust. It was no different from any ordinary night of crappy dreaming: I was vaguely aware of dreaming most of the night, but my recall was terrible and what details I could specify were mostly mundane day residue. There was no sense of complex overarching plots, just lots of little random scenarios. Lots of people have written that kava helped them sleep more deeply and wake refreshed, but I didn't experience that either: I woke three times in the first several hours of sleep, which is typical, except that I felt much groggier than usual during those brief wakeful periods. At 9:00am I woke up and felt so unpleasantly lethargic, mentally as well as phsyically, and the dreaming had been so disappointing, that I decided to try to clear my head with an ample dose of piracetam. That stuff is amazing: to preserve its efficacy I save it for special occasions, but it always works really well to clear up any "brain fog."

Within fifteen minutes I was feeling complete mental clarity, so I decided to turn it into a proper WBTB. I added some L-theanine, alpha-GPC and bacopa and returned to bed using WILD technique. My focus was still subpar and I couldn't count effectively, so I initially fell into non-lucid sleep, but gradually became more aware of the dream as it progressed. There was no "aha" moment of lucidity, but I was definitely lucid by the end.

In conclusion, the kava kava didn't seem to improve my dreaming in the slightest, but at least it didn't suppress it either. If anything helped me get lucid, I believe it was the piracetam and other supplements I took at WBTB, because those I've had success with many times before. My recall was poor for most of the night, and even after waking up from the LD only the last scene was initially clear; recollection of the earlier incidents revived only after I started tracing back the course of events.

DILD, "Creating a Cat": I was hanging out with a friend, JM, and her young son. [DR: yesterday I had seen a picture of this kid that she had posted on Facebook.] The little boy was telling us a story about a butterfly who took care of him in the place he used to be. It sounded like he was talking about before he was born, and this reminded me of a book I had learned about last night, about a project to compile and investigate accounts of young children who claim to have memories of past lives. [DR: Jim B. Tucker, Return to Life, 2015.] After I mentioned the book to my friend, she told me about the time she took her son to an island off the coast of Wales (the named started with a 'T', something like "Tirnagal" or "Tiriagal") and he had started talking about how he used to live there. As she describes this, suddenly we both turn and stare as we hear the boy start speaking another language with the somber intonations of an adult. I have no idea what Welsh sounds like, but what the boy is saying definitely has the structures of a formal language—it is not just childish babble. The experience is so uncanny that I feel the hairs on my arms rise. Before I leave, I say to my friend, "The only thing I regret about not having a kid is the way it can sometimes provide unexpected insights into the human experience." [DR: This comment might also have been inspired by something I was reading last night, on p.163 of The Ego Tunnel, by Thomas Metzinger (2009), where he describes a toddler who falls and looks to his mother for social cues about how to emotionally react.]

I leave my friend's apartment and go outside. Now I'm on a beach. This is one of my most distinctive and common dream signs, despite the fact that I have little interest in beaches in WL and rarely visit them. I think it is related to the tide, a phenomenon that has always unsettled me. Despite the frequency and distinctiveness of this dream sign, for some reason it is one that I always have trouble recognizing as such. On this occasion I already have some degree of dream-awareness, but I lack awareness of that awareness, the metacognition that is characteristic of true lucidity.

As I'm walking along the beach, the sand looks soft and warm and comfortable, and I can't resist the temptation to lie down in it. Initially I am lying on my stomach, but then I roll onto my back, and feel as cozy as a kid making snow angels. I pause to reflect, why do you never hear of kids making sand angels? My comfort is soon disturbed by rippling in the sand... I notice that the whole beach is now billowing and subsiding, the dunes rolling like great waves. "Is it supposed to do that?" I vaguely wonder, and then a particularly large dune threatens to bury me, forcing me back on my feet to keep my balance. Though not quite lucid at this point, I have instinctive awareness of my mastery and control in this environment: I find it easy to "surf" these sand waves as they roll by underfoot. But they are getting even bigger, and I have the impression that the water is now rising rapidly as well, so I decide to find higher ground.

At the edge of the beach I find a stairwell leading up into a building. Getting into it takes some creative climbing, as there are various panels of transparent plexiglass serving as barriers, but I manage to circumvent them and get inside. The stairs emerge into the center of a dim, semi-industrial space, with narrow walkways on all four sides surrounding the wide pit formed by the stairwell in the middle of the room. No sooner have I gotten my bearings than a round hatch covering the end of a large pipe poking through the wall opens, and a humanoid creature crawls out. It is gollum-like, with huge bulging eyes. I don't want to be spotted, so I hold still and focus on being invisible. I feel a moment of relief as the creature initially descends the stairs, but it comes back promptly joined by a second person, a male human. As they approach the spot where I'm standing, I retreat into a corner to avoid them: even if they can't see me, they might blunder into me by accident if I'm not careful. On the bright side, having to strategize in this tense situation is improving my lucid awareness.

I reflect that my "invisibility" is just a mind trick: I am willing the DCs not to see me, and from their lack of reaction I assume it is working, but I can still see my own body plainly. This bothers me—at this point I'm a fairly experienced dreamer, so shouldn't I be able to dispense with a body? I've had no dearth of NLDs where I'm just a disembodied perspective, so surely I should be able to accomplish the same thing in my LDs. I decide to try to eliminate my dream body.

My body does obediently disappear from my field of vision, but the trouble is I still *feel* like I'm in a human body, with two legs, two arms, and two eyes located frontally in my head. If I have really transcended the body, I should no longer feel like I am mapped onto a human being. I conclude that I should begin subverting the pattern, and my first attempt is to try to shift my visual apparatus to floor level. This seems like it should be a fairly easy, basic task, but I find that I have trouble with it, maybe because I get caught up in questions like, well, if I'm not seeing out of physical eyes, then shouldn't my vision be even more radically different—unconstrained by frontality, for instance?

Meanwhile the man and gollum-like creature disappear into a side door, still apparently oblivious to my presence. I retrace my steps to the top of the stairs and examine the hatch that the latter had crawled out of. I consider going in there to explore, but decide that from the look of the creature and the size of the hatch, it will probably just be a cramped and uncomfortable network of tunnels. Instead I decide to follow the two through the side door.

I find myself in a large, open exhibition space with various vendors and booths. I pause for a moment to wonder why spaces like this are so common in my dreams. I don't know if this was a product of false memory or else better access to dream memory than I have in waking life, because at the time I was under the impression that I encountered such rooms on a regular basis; now that I'm awake I don't feel like they're especially common. At first I was just wandering around with no specific purpose, when it occurred to me that I shouldn't waste this opportunity to work on some tasks. There are a ton of things on my docket, but nothing especially pressing, so I thought over a few possibilities and decided to work on my Ars Magica forms and techniques—the other day I printed out the whole list of combinations and decided I should make it a long-term goal to try out all of them eventually.

I recalled that "creo animál" was the first one on my list that I had not tried, so I started intoning, "Creo animál!" I lengthened the syllables in a resonant voice, putting emphasis on the first syllable of "creo" and the last syllable of "animál." I repeated the invocation a few times in this manner, staring at an empty patch of floor. I didn't have a clear idea in mind of what kind of animal I wanted to create, but I thought I could leave that open for the dream to surprise me. However, nothing was happening. I thought perhaps I needed some raw materials, so I telekinetically lifted a nearby booth (hoping this wouldn't be too much inconvenience to the vendor) and pulled it into the space where I was working, then focused on compacting its form and shape into something suitable to my purpose. It folded itself up obediently until it was much smaller. However, I felt like I needed to impose a pattern on it since the dream wasn't responding with anything, so I arbitrarily chose the form of a cat. People started gathering around to watch the show as the booth finished its transformation, and now there was a short-haired black and white cat sitting stiffly on the floor. [In retrospect, the technique was closer to "muto" than "creo," since I adapted existing material rather than conjuring it from thin air.]

The newly-created cat was not moving, and did not seem capable of movement; it was like an empty shell of a cat, a living doll. This made sense, since I had created the body but not endowed it with sentience: I concluded that this would require a separate effect. Luckily this concurred with another task I needed to work on. "Creo mentem," I said, directing my words at the cat, and this time the effect resolved quickly: now the cat seemed to be capable of moving and perceiving its environment.

I wondered if "mentem" alone was sufficient: wouldn't that create something with the bland mental workings of a robot? Wouldn't I need to add "imáginem" to endow it with emotions and imagination, the "spark of life"? I wasn't sure, but I thought I'd better throw that in for good measure, so I intoned "Creo imáginem," focusing on giving the creature the capacity for emotions and inner life. Immediately I had doubts about whether this was wise. I don't know if my doubts were caused by the cat's behavior or if the cat's behavior was conditioned by my doubts, but whichever it was, the creature did not look pleased. It was lashing its tail in the way cats do when they're annoyed, and its face was contorted into a savage snarl. I wondered if throwing in "imáginem" had been overkill—emotions are not always pleasant, after all, and a creature so unexpectedly brought into existence might well be feeling upset and disoriented. Plus, I didn't even know if "imáginem," was necessary for a complete being; perhaps sentience was sufficiently specified by "mentem." [Consulting the Ars Magica rulebook now, I see that I misremembered the scope of of the Form: "imáginem" deals with sensations and illusions, not emotions and imagination. Though actually that makes the whole Form seem superfluous to the dreamstate, where there is no obvious difference between creating a thing and creating an illusion of that thing.]

I knelt down to have a closer look at my creation, and felt even more disturbed. There was something awful and abject about its face, a wound or rot-like distortion of its jaw that left the teeth clearly visible through its cheek. [DR: I realize this might also be day residue, because recently I was reading articles about the so-called "zombie cat" which came with graphic pictures of a similarly disfigured animal.] I decided that I should try to understand what this cat was experiencing, so I said, "Intéllego animál." I felt impressions of fear and rage coming from the poor creature, and guiltily realized that I must have screwed up somehow. It made it even worse that it was a cat, a kind of animal for which I feel a great love and sympathy.



With a sweeping gesture I willed all the effects I had invoked to disperse, effectively uncreating the cat. I didn't have a clear visual sense of the result (did the body simply disappear or did the vendor's booth revert to its former shape? I'm not sure), but at least I felt that the spell had ended. I looked up at the spectators who had been watching the whole event and sheepishly apologized: "It didn't want to be a cat. I'm sorry. It just didn't work out."

One woman spoke up in reply. Her words were uttered very calmly and slowly, emphasizing each of the adjectives, and I felt like she was subtly criticizing my actions: "People want to be fair, and dominating, and controlling, and diverting."

I was on the mountainside. Or somewhere in the province at least, where I'm surrounded by trees and low or cut grass. I was walking and then I was chased by a goose. It wasn't scary. It was more amusing than anything. It was a big goose though. I ran around. Then there was a goat and it chased me too.

Something about the beach.

---

Notes:

- Slept at around 3 a.m.
- Set alarm 6 hours later.
- Woke up a bit to the Stephen LaBerge audio in entering dreams. Wrote keywords.
- Slept for 1.5 hours more.
- I was watching Parasyte before I slept.

Haven't remembered anything since Monday, in which I had a lucid. It seems like my recall tends to take a nosedive the days following my lucid dreams. In any case, I finally remembered a dream this morning after having an absolutely terrible day on Thursday. Nothing was going right, and I was in a terrible mood for the entire day up till I went to bed. Seems to have given me a sad dream.

I was at my house, except it was very warped and different from my normal house. Part of it was modified so that an entire wall looked like it was the night sky, and it opened outward into an expanse of sea, where many people (whom my dreamself considered friends) were swimming and having a good time.
I decided to join in, and went for a relaxing swim for a while. The water was nice and warm.
After finishing up my swim, it was time for me to go to work (in the dream). I headed to work with my girlfriend, with me behind the wheel and her sticking her head out the passenger side window enjoying the breeze. Things took a sudden turn for the worse when, out of no where, a huge chunk of metal came flying off of a nearby vehicle, slamming into my girlfriend and knocking her out of the car. She was killed.
Afterwards, a medical team recovered her body, and I made funeral arrangements with one of my coworkers, who just so happened to be nearby. Once things were squared off, I headed back home, uncertain of my future now that my girlfriend was gone.

-takes a deep breath- A not so great day and a not so great dream (aside from the swimming part). I am glad I remembered one though, so

#78
4 dreams on the first night
- sex scene
- running from armed men
- zombie chases me
-ex gf got assaulted by a stranger, I look after her, then me and my other friends go running through a mall

#79
2 dreams second night
- in the 'Wild', crazy cool. lots of interesting alien species
- go to a chefs kitchen, i get in the way, then i go to a beach, shit gets messy (literally)

Note: I typed up all these dreams then accidentally deleted them all, so screw writing them up again >_<

'The Wild' dream - tagged as memorable.

A nightmare where I was looking into the mirror in my bathroom. The skin on my chest/stomach peeled off and my internal organs started to fall out. I remember my heart looked artificial and had some kind of gauge or pressure meter on it. I screamed and woke up.

wtf I haven't had a nightmare of any sort in like two years...

After that, I wanted to go back to sleep to see if I could snag some lucidity before morning. Some disjointed fragments led into a couple of congruent LDs.

-Something to do with my college dormitory. For some reason I was wearing golden earrings in the dream, somebody commented on them, saying that they looked good. I asked myself when I got piercings and could not recall. I didn't become lucid though.

-Something to do with drawing and a tin of colored pencils.

-I was playing LBP3. I was designing this level where you would run across all of these little white platforms that were moving and stuff was firing on you. There was also this big metal bridge that would unfold when you got close to it. A was there, commenting on how he liked the game-play aspect of it.

I was at the community pool in my cousin's hometown, though almost nobody was there except me and someone else. I was just chilling in the shallow end of the pool when this bully character approached the two of us. He picked us both out of the water and said he wanted to try and drown us in the deep end.

I tried to punch him but it didn't do much.

I elbowed him in the face and managed to swim away. He followed me out of the pool. I turned around to fight him. He was buff and had long blonde hair and short thick facial hair and blue eyes. It was also at this moment that I noticed that I was still wearing gold earrings. I thought this might put me at a disadvantage because he could grab them.

I ran in and kicked him in the stomach. He reeled back. He was almost at the edge of the pool. He came back and tried to punch me. I ducked under it and put my leg behind his. From there it was easy to just push him into the water.

He looked at me angrily. I thought he was going to just get out of the water and attack me again, but he seemed to just be waiting there. But this other DC showed up. He looked like Santa Claus except his outfit was all white.

He said something about learning to be submissive and recognize your own inferiority. He said that this was meant to be some kind of dream test and that I had failed it.

For some reason, I was just boiling mad at this Santa/Guide character. I started screaming at him that people shouldn't be taught to be inferior and submissive, and that you can't mold people into what you want. They will do their own things and form their own identities and moral codes and there is nothing that you can do about it.

I got so mad at him that I FA'd in my living room. But it felt smaller. All of the furniture had been pushed into one end of the room an there was a small Christmas tree in the room with some presents under it.

This seemed strange to me. I did a nose pinch RC. Lucid dreamin' baby. I had almost become fully lucid in the last section, but now I could think clearly. I still wanted to see Manei. I started calling her name, expecting her to simply be upstairs or something. No reply. I thought to go outside, but saw that it was very, very dark. The kind of darkness that would make me lose the dream.

I then realized that stabilizing would probably be a smart idea. I rubbed my hands together.

"I will not lose the dream until I have accomplished one of my goals!"

I then thought to try teleporting to the beach location. In the past my teleportation efforts have failed miserably, so I was gonna have to really commit. I closed my eyes and started visualizing the beach in Puerto Rico that my family goes to every year.

I started to see it in the center of my vision. I thought that I should start engaging my other senses. I tried to picture the sound of waves crashing on the shore, the smell of saltwater and the sun on my face.

However when I opened my eyes I was still in my home, but things were different. I saw that it had gotten considerably lighter outside. It still appeared to be foggy and gray, but I could make out the street and plants. The entire backyard had been taken over by a massive jungle/forest. There was a huge vine with massive mango-like fruit growing on it. (When I say massive Mango-Fruit, I am talking 3-4 feet across.

I made my way out the front door to get a better look at what was outside. The dream's clarity started revving up to very high levels here. I saw that half the neighborhood had been overtaken with these huge gnarled branches. There seemed to be pieces of a structure in there, as if it were made of I-beams.

I followed the gnarled branches up to see a huge tree, literally miles tall. It seemed as though as it got farther away, it looked less and less like it was made of wood. It seemed to be made of stone or metal, and had complex designs of overlapping circles and rune symbols on it. It was supporting the sky, that appeared to be solid, made of high-technology structures (like the surface of the death star). There were windows or some kind of white lights scattered about on the surface. There seemed to be places where it had rusted through though and real vegetation was growing through it, both on the tree and the sky.

The sky had to be 50 or 100 miles up. There were layers upon layers of thin, misty clouds surrounding the tree trunk. The thing that I remember the most was the temperature. It was sooo hot and humid in this dream.

I couldn't believe the enormity of these metal trees, and I had to check them out for myself. I started flying, but for some reason moved backwards very quickly. I stopped and stumbled.

"No, I want to go UP!"

I started flying again, but I still went backwards. I lost control of the ability to fly and got pulled out of the scene. Everything started shrinking and getting darker. I saw more of the trees supporting the sky ceiling for a moment. It looked like some of them were just tree stumps.

Somebody told me that this was a forest that had been cut down by giant cosmic beings from the seventh dimension, millions of years ago, but it was growing back now. I saw my town on a remove section of earth, like a SimCity tile, floating in nothing.

I was in a black void. White cubes were scattered about. I was still pulling backwards at increasingly fast speeds. I thought I might hit one of the cubes, not being able to see where I was flying.

I woke up.

Interpretations: I really have to come back to these after I've had some proper time to think about it.

I was in a rest house near the beach. I think it's mostly made of wood. I'm not sure if there were other people in it. The house is on a cliff or at least a higher area. I jumped off and tried to fly with a wooden/leafy glide. I thought or hoped that it would help me go up, but it seems to only slow my fall while also adding distance. I was feather-falling over the sea, and I tried going up the cliffs by the beach.

Something to do with a dance-off taking place on a beach. There was an absurdly sized boombox (about the size of a semi trailer) being positioned on the beach. Then the power went out and the man organizing the dance-off was upset because the boombox had to be plugged in.


I was visiting at a hospital. This wasn't a normal hospital though, it was supposed to treat people of their worst fears. How? By making them suffer trough the trauma of their worst fear again and again but without pain. I don't know completely how this worked but they could make you experience your worst fear as many times as they wanted.

I don't remember if this was for punishment or what.

They had a means of extracting what your worst fear was subconsciously.

I remember seeing the first couple rooms closest to the desk. Patients were grouped by their fear. The people closest to the desk had the worst fear of 'death'. I remember them being hooked up to heart rate monitors. They would start and stop every ten seconds or so, so basically the patient was dying repeatedly in the bed.

I remember approaching one of the people on the bed. He looked like Liam Nisan for some reason, and he looked as though he was really peaceful. He told me quietly before passing through one of his deaths.

'my greatest fear is... death...'

...

I remember being back at the front desk. I was looking at a hospital form in a plastic tray. All of the boxes were filled with gibberish. But I could still read them clearly, and they still had English characters in them.

I was saying to myself how this didn't feel like a normal lucid dream. It felt too clear, too stable and too realistic to be a dream. I felt as though I might be astral projecting or something.

I decided to run a test on the dream to see how well it behaved. I jumped into the air and pushed my energy down. My little fire jets switched on. I was flying. I had to stay in control though, not hit any people. But this was all the proof I needed. This was a lucid dream, just a very clear and vivid one.

Sadly I didn't seem motivated to carry out any of my goals or dares.

I remember feeling like the dream went on for ten minutes or more. But unfortunately I don't have the dream recall to back that up. I do know that It ended with a false awakening.

Another thing I remember questioning while in the dream was the fact that I was not the least bit scared of the clinic, even thought its sole purpose was to invoke fear. It didn't seem like an evil environment in any way. There were no screams of pain or blood splatters on the wall. It seemed so peaceful, like fear was a good thing.

I false awoke in my bedroom and my cat had given birth to five cats, identical kittens. The scene was being narrated like a nature show.

Spoiler for Interpretations:

I don't really know what to make of this. I feel as though given the concept of the dream, it's meant to mean something important but I can't figure it out. I might come back in and change this if I am able to figure it out.

I was in some unknown place with some people who felt like family. A guy playing as a "troll" was supposed to be coming for us so we need to hide properly or climb high. There was a sense of fear but at the same time fun. The guy was wearing a mask of sort to signify the troll. In one instance, he was just standing there waiting while we look for ways to create a high but stable tower made of furniture. One was a table and sofa but with wheels so it's not stable. We tried going up after a few tries. I walked around, jumping from ledge to ledge, avoiding the troll.

I was staying with a woman on one of those high ledges. I was worried that somehow I'll lose consciousness and get drunk and have sex with her and then she will get pregnant. (That escalated quickly.) I thought of how I didn't want to be responsible for that and maybe she should get it aborted but worried that we have anti-abortion laws and that some people get really angry about abortion. (Worry and blowing things out of proportion are bad tendencies of mine.) I went out of the place.

I was up on the rooftop of a building after climbing it. I was with some people. It felt a like a continuation of the previous dream this morning where I was climbing a hill in the school. I was with some people who are supposed to be familiar to me but they're faces are not. Friends. While we were chatting about and some are arriving, the building moved, like it had wheels. It was a bus, and we were on the roof. I held on so I don't fall off and event went a bit farther into the center and away from the "rails" of the roof. Some are still sitting in a position that could get them to fall off if the bus makes a turn (due to momentum", so I told them to arrange themselves so they can hold on to something. They don't seem worried, and as we turned, they don't seem to be that much affected by momentum.

There were two guys in front of me who were talking. One of them felt familiar but not sure if he looks like someone I know (Emman); he's dark skinned. The other is fair skinned, and acts a bit childish. He's like a younger Baron Geisler. After a while, they were kissing. I was right behind them, and they were touching my knees. I got turned on and moved my torso closer. I tentatively approached and kissed Emman, wondering if he'll push me off or accept me. He kissed back lightly, but then I became aggressive, so he stopped me and said playfully "Whoa, whoa. Chill." Something like that.

We were walking down the beach at sunset and then night. It was dark. We played around, but no sex, at least not according to my dream. (Maybe it was censored?) I missed them along the process as I went to a different storyline in the dream. Something about jumping over vaults that looked like the blocks of a pyramid (Incan or Mayan, not Egyptian).

I went back to the "roof." I saw Chela there (really her looks this time). We talked a bit, then I heard/saw/felt Emman and Baron. I went to them and kissed them on the mouth casually, which they were fine with. They said something about looking for me. We went back to the "center" of the roof (surrounded by 6-feet walls but has door-like openings on all sides and with no roof). I saw Chela again and she showed me on her phone an app that showed a kiss mark (black background) and two people. I think it was supposed to represent the two guys I was with and that it showed I kissed them. She was playfully asking who they were. I was hesitant but not afraid as I quickly looked (with just my eyes) at the two guys to my left and they slowly retreated, cartoonishly. I didn't know if they're out (even though they kissed in public). I guess I kinda outed them when I looked at them retreating out of the walls. (The place looked like Intramuros).

Notes:

- Afternoon dream (Approx. 5:00 p.m. - 6:30 p.m.)
- Took phenylephrine for the stuffy nose
- Set alarm, but I woke up before the alarm.
- That was weird. I feel that I am very monogamous but this dream with the polyamorous relationship seemed fun and silly, as if I didn't feel any weight while I was in it. I was never in a polyamorous relationship, and I usually say/think I never would be since I'm very selfish and don't want to share my partner (to be).
- I would have thought that I'd feel the same feeling of disgust and worry over the polyamorous relationship as I did with the thought of having sex with a female.

Black: Non-dream
Blue: Non-lucid
Red: Lucid

I've been inactive with DV for a while now due to just enjoying the holidays with my family and keeping on top of things in life, now I've gained some free time to catch up on things.

Lucid 1: Was out camping for about 8 days and one night just had a random lucid.
I was running out of a building towards a beach on a nice summer day, in the distance I could see a beautiful woman walking towards me, she was under a big Pohutukawa tree which was in full bloom. The beach was white sand and in my peripheral vision the ocean was to my left and green hills to my right. I seemed to realize it was a dream and contemplated becoming 'lucid', then thought "Yeah sure, might as well", and looked at my hands. I became lucid as I did this and it didn't last long, I felt the dream slipping away, then I remembered that spinning sometimes stabilized the dreamland so I gave it a shot... I start spinning in a circle and I feel the dream coming back to me again, but I felt like my lack of experience let the dream slip away in the end.

Dream:
Last night I remembered meeting my flat mate Oliver and seeing him talking to my other flatmate Phillip, I come out and say hi and he gives me a nod and smile.

05.02.2015

Sex at the beach. (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Full Dream (1 pts)
WILD (10 pts)
Stabilize (1 pts)
Flight (4 pts)
Basic Summon (4 pts)
DC Interaction (2 pts)
Teleport (7 pts)

After taking notes from the previous dream, I remember how hot was the female gal on the early lucid part of the previous dream, so I started thinking about her to WILD.

I was in a big room, I believe it was a hospital. I decided to take a flight to make the dream stable again, as this one was a little fuzzy. After a small flight, I decided to land and look for that girl from the previous dream. I pretended she was behind a door once I opened, and there she was. She was looking pretty much the same from the previous dream, maybe a little shorter. I hugged her and she was as loving as she was in the previous dream.

I told her we could go to a different place, so I imagined a beach at night and held her hand. I felt for a moment I would wake up, but I did teleport to a beach and she now wore a bathsuit, she looked super hot and she kissed me and took her clothes again. We had sex for a decent amount of time, preventing myself to not wake up. I will not go into details, but I spent the entire dream like this.

I​ recommend reading my previous DJ entry first. Only 6 views and it is more eventful...(apparently DV only allows members to view DJ's now...unless it is a bug.)

1015-1030? 238am-320am? for wbtb. leftist rally in Germany? German accent: "... ...in the mother fu**ing ..." was the name of event or rally. Night time. Familiar train station? Fragment.

Greece LD wake from LD ~4:50pm
I'm with brother in law E and brother-in-law B in the dream but we're meeting the former at a coastal cliff side house in some town in Greece. We are walking along the beach and up a path and we see beautiful views of cliffs all around. After we get to the home and visit for a little bit we're heading back to where we came, this time along with brother in law E on this return leg. He seems to know a shortcut and he's going around the other side of the cliff and the footholds are not very wide and they're going pretty quick ahead of me and I'm cautiously taking my time. They stop at a bend in the cliffs and look at a swimming spot down below. It is absolutely beautiful down there and a beautiful sunny day. They continue on, but the path seems too narrow and not worth the risk when I can just go back the way I first came earlier in the day along the beach. When I think about the earlier path along the beach it seems like it was a dream memory maybe from a previous dream and I realize that this is a dream right now. I float up in the air just enough to confirm as an RC. I then start to fly back towards the beach going slow and not with a lot of directional control at the beginning which is a little unusual for me. I go back and forth left and right to correct my direction flying over a rugged rocky area. It is beautiful and exhilarating being up in the air reminding me of my simulated flying last night while a passenger in a car going over various overpasses (for day practices)...but so much better! I am unbounded drifting across the sky. I still have not seen any DC's so I decide to turn around and see if I can find my brother in laws and surprise them or something on their trek along that narrow path by the cliffs. As I fly down that way back towards the cliffs I feel myself abruptly return to bed and the way I woke up and my level of rest seems to indicate I was at the end of an REM cycle. Too short but back to lucidity after too many dry days! Found motivation for day work and also did a number of "I'm dreaming" mantras during the day. Corrected monkey brain during SSILD. No.274


Cafe epiphany NLD or semi: I'm modern me sitting outdoors at a cafe soaking in the moment. I see happy and sad faces on this beautiful day . "If you don't open yourself up to the world around you, you will miss out on so many experiences," I tell my companions. People who look sad look like they're walking around "in a bubble" with tunnel vision, seemingly oblivious to all the beauty around them.

2/1/2015
Non-lucid
2:00PM Sunday nap
I'm talking to Ivy via Facebook.
"I really want to meet you. " I tell her. She says, "Yes, I know. Do you know Robbie?"
"Yes."
"Good. I'll be coming to his newest show."
"You will?! I'm going to be there!"
"Then, we'll be able to meet. When you see me, please call me Jeneane."
"I can't wait to meet you, Jeneane!"
Then, I'm in a dark room, with a window on the closed door. Two people are talking on the other side.
The room looks like it's outside, but I know it's inside. There's a campfire burning on the floor. Trees are growing out of the ground. Some stumps serve as benches. This is where Robbie's play will be!
I decide to walk through the trees to get out. I only walk a few steps before noticing how dark it is ahead of me. I get scared. I get a feeling that if I walk any further, something will happen to me. I yell "Hey guys!" The two outside look in through the window. "Open the door! Let me out!" They shake their heads.
The scene changes. I'm at the beach, on a dock. Below me, someone is projecting 'Finding Nemo' into the water, so it looks like they're swimming right in front of me. I walk off the dock and see a woman in a lounge chair.
Then, I wake up.