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I remember seeing some kind of dog or animal. It had a chunk of its body missing, and there was machine or code running underneath.

My smartwatch vibrate alarm went off at 4:45 today. I wasn't trying to do a WBTB, but the alarm went off because it had gathered enough charge to turn itself on, hence accessing the alarm from last time. Vibration was enough to wake me up from across the room. I figured I might as well salvage the situation, so I took the supplements I was planning for my next WBTB attempt (same as before, Yuschak Primary Trigger) and laid back down.

I tried to sleep for some time, but my GF's alarm eventually went off around 5:30. I didn't manage to get back to sleep after that. Going to try a non-supplement-assisted WBTB this weekend, while making sure all alarms are not interfering

Supplements
2nd Yuschak Primary Trigger Attempt (8Mg Galantamine, 250Mg Choline Bitartrate)

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my gate. I see a goat running on the hill in front and then a horse behind my parking lot. I also notice the gate is not well closed, so I close it tight. My dogs are jumping around me excited. Then I check the fence and find a couple spots where the fence is lose as if someone damaged it on purpose. I scramble to fix it before my dogs see it, but they go through a hole they find. First Soraia, but I yell at her and she promptly comes back. Then Maya and Tara also escape. I manage to call back Maya, but Tara encounters a black dog about her size, they become friends and she ignores me. They roll on their backs on the ground, clearly getting along. I then notice the road ahead is loaded with huge snakes coming their way. I call Riverstone for help and he goes outside the gates to get the dog but I warn him about the snakes.
Then the dream fades and I almost wake up but hold on to it and then I am at some kind of small room, laying on a bed, belly down. I know I am dreaming so I plunge my hand into the foam mattress as a reality check and grab some foam as if is it cotton candy and eat it. I expected some crazy flavor, but it actually tastes just like foam. I then get up and go through the wall. End up in someone elses apartment and then go from room to room not knowing what to do. I briefly panic when I realize I don't know the way back to my room. Then I recall again that it's just a dream and there is no point in going back to "my" room. I go out to a balcony. Below the balcony on the street I see many kids and adults looking festive. I plan to jump through the pavement below and see where it takes me. I jump flat on my belly but as I approach the ground I see it is covered in animal poop, so I stop an inch from it and just levitate there for a second. Everyone looks at me. I lay my feet on the ground and stand. Immediately see a group of people on horse back coming towards me in two lines side by side. They don't stop for me, so I quickly lift off again not to be trampled upon. As I watch from above I think it may be some parade, but then notice the outfits and lots of famous Hollywood actors walking around and conclude that it must be a movie set.
I want to focus on something productive and stop just moving around, so I sit cross legged on top of a wall to try to meditate. I invoke my guru and ask for his guidance and teachings. Immediately I get attacked by some guy out of nowhere, jumping and trying to reach me to harm me, his face full of anger, as if he is possessed. I kinda expected that, but still it is annoying every time it happens. I transport myself to a room full of plushies, hoping it will be peaceful to meditate in there. I try again and invoke my guru, but the plushies start flying and hiting me. I deflect them with energy from my hands, but att some point they come alive and gain shark teeth and bite me. I try to ignore the pain and carry on, aware that it is still all just a dream, but I almost wake up.
I then find myself in what appears to be an island and in front of me there is a strange asian looking tower. I get this feeling that I will find my guru there, but when I reach the front door, it is controlled by thugs and they won't let anyone in that is not vetted by them. I plan on just flying up but then I notice there is some sort of elevator on the side, the kind of those for window cleaners and is starting to go up so I hold on to a side and just go up hanging from it. It takes me all the way to the top but then I see no way to access the interior of the building and there is no way to get down from the roof either. It is also inclined and slippery and I almost fall. Again, I wonder what to do next but a sudden water rise out of nowhere covers everything below and it keeps rising until it reaches the roof and leaves me isolated on my own little island. I go around the roof and find a stone path that magically appeared over the water, so I walk it through. It leads me to dry land. I find myself in what looks like some city in Latin America. It's night now, but the streets are flooded with people panicking and running in all directions. On the tv of some eatery, I see a broadcast about some impending catastrophe. I think I also see something big in the night sky but can't tell what it is. I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some victorian house, sort of half asleep and seeing the scenario fade away, but I realize it is actually a dream and that it is the dream itself that is fading. I hold on to it, but the darkness doesn't go away and I know this is when sometimes the monsters come up. And then I see a woman coming over and whenever she crosses a more shadowy area, her face becomes monstruous. I warn a friend that is also sleeping nearby to wake up. She doesn't know what I am talking about and she looks at the woman. The woman says in a hypnotic tone "look into my eyes". I grab my friend and say "don't look, it will kill you". I get in front of the woman and I say assertively "Now, you look into my eyes!" at the side of her face that is not disfigured. She looks puzzled and loses a bit of her power temporarily, so I open some curtains to let light in and I drag my friend to the outside. The woman still tries to reach me, but she can't stand the light. I decide to lift off and that's when I go fully lucid. I don't know what to do, so I decide to just watch the dream. Below me it now looks like some big american city. I also see a huge roller-coaster in the distance. There is some retro vibe to it. I just amuse myself by flying over people and watching their dramas. I feel very melancholic thinking how all these people are just DCs. I sing and dance in the sky above them.

Visiting my mom at her old job at the Union. They are at some warehouse with piles of boxes with files and lots of stickers, calendars and other stuff I used to steal from them and collect as a child. I am mesmerized by all the retro things they have, not fully aware that I am dreaming, but aware I am seeing something gone from the past. I grab a box with some stickers to take with me as mementos. For some reason my dog Hachi appears and all is fine until someone else also comes in with 2 dogs and a baby. I grab Hachi immediately and try to take him somewhere where I can keep him isolated. Unfortunately there is only a small room with no windows and I don't want to lock him there. So when the other dogs follow us and we get cornered there, I close them inside instead and take Hachi away.
We go to my mom's and he roams around the house free. After a while I am looking for him and find him in the balcony injured with a bad open wound in his front right leg. Nearby is a robotic snake I keep as a toy, also severely "hurt". Turns out she can bite and it is a powerful metallic bite. I try getting close to him, but he cowers and hides his leg. I go get hydrogen peroxide and throw copious amounts on his wound. He ends up accepting my treatment and even puts his front legs over mine to thank me, I guess. Then I also want to help the snake but need something to grab it safely. I didn't know she had such a dangerous self defense mechanism.

At my childhood home, alone, and I become lucid. I go into my room, honestly just wanting again to dwell on the melancholic feeling of seeing things from my past. But then I feel crazy horny and feel the urge to remove my pants. I look around for objects I might use creatively, but all I see is a wooden spoon over the bed for no good reason. So I give up on objects. Instead I decide to experiment what it would feel like if my clitoris grew to become a very long penis. Long enough that it reaches my mouth. And then I suck it. I almost wake up with the sensation but I manage to come back to the dream. Then I jump scare when through the balcony door I see 3 Rinpoches sitting outside. They are not looking at me, they are to right side, almost out of sight. I can only see a bit of their faces but I recognize them ckearly. They are facing forward as if listening or watching someone to my left side. I pull my pants up quickly, deeply embarassed, hoping they didn't see that. I get up and walk slowly towards the balcony sliding doors. Then they turn their heads towards me and nod at me wtth a smile. As I approach, I see many more of them and recognize almost all of them. Then some more pass by from my left side and disappear behind the ones sitting. The balcony is no longer a balcony, but some room somewhere else. They all aknowledge my presence, nod and smile, but none says a word. Then I walk forward a few more steps and I see my teacher to my left. He is standing there and he is the one all others were looking at or listening. They hint that I should come in and I do. Rinpoche comes to me and we immediately hug. Then we kiss. It is a shy confused kiss, because I want to kiss him on the lips but I am not sure if it is ok, so I kinda go for the cheek but still touch his lips. He seems surprised but pleased. We continue hugging. Then he kisses me on the lips properly. It feels incredible and totally real. We continue hugging tight and saying how much we missed each other, while I caress his back and head. I can even feel the smooth edges of his robe on his back and do my autistic thing of stimming by feeling the calming texture of the seam.
Then he moves on and we are in some kind of library or classroom and I realize we need to get out because a class or lecture is about to start. Lucidity fades a bit from here. Outside he is with his entourage and they are heading to some place to lunch with, but he specifically says to his attendant that I am to have lunch with the more private group and sit by his side in the upper room. The restaurant is asian, but I can't tell from which country. Rinpoche and the private group disappear upstairs as I am distracted looking at the food they have on display. Then I am not allowed to come up. When finally that is cleared up, I arrive there, but Rinpoche has disappeared again, maybe to go to the bathroom or something, I think. The people there look me sideways and want me to sit me at the "kids" table. I see three empty seats and figure that's where Rinpoche will sit so I say I think I am supposed to sit there to, but they mock me and bully me. Some lady is being incredibly rude and gets into my nerves, so I bang my hand on the table, wanting to punch her, and say "one of these seats is for me, just wait and see". But I feel bad for my ego outburst, so I just go and sit at a bench near the window, at the far end of the table, but where Rinpoche can see me when he returns. Then we hear his voice on loud speakers, interviewing some indian fella and it is about Russia and some allegory with volcanos and people wonder what is this about.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am between sleep and wakefulness and I hear my dogs barking outside, when suddenly I wake up with the sound of my front door slamming and I feel scared. I am confused and think that the only other person in the house is my mother on the ground floor and she would not go outside in the middle of the night for any reason, which worries me even further. Then I actually wake up and realize most likely no one slammed the door and also that my mother isn't in my home at all, it is Riverstone who is sleeping downstairs and I just had a false awakening. My dogs are also quiet, so I don't know if them barking was also part of the dream.

With Riverstone on a van going up a road and the engine is not managing to pull it up. He is driving and he steps on the accelerator to try to reach the top of the hill, but on a curve he loses control and the van rolls over to the side of the road. As we tumble, it gets dark and Riverstone loses his consciousness. I shake him hard and he doesn't wake up. I am really worried. When he finally does, we are in bed at my mom's house and he asks me why am I shaking him up like that. I am confused and tell him about my dream. He says that I am just remembering a traumatic event and I say no way, I don't recall it ever happening in the past. He says it did, we had that accident. I feel more confused about what's real or not. Then we go to the kitchen for a snack as he says now he is angry and we reheat some pizza on the microwave. I think about how I would never eat pizza in the middle of the night, but I am starting to feel maybe none of this is real, so what the heck, I actually eat some and ask for more. Then my mom comes and asks what's going on, I tell her the whole story and continue to chat while eating. Then I am worried we might wake up grandma and mom says "you're really confused, she passed away some time ago, it's just us here". Then I realize once again I am still dreaming all this. Then we are at a fair, where we volunteer at a booth. It is a mix between art display, book sales and alternative medicines. I am rearranging some books on a table and again confused about what's real or not, when some friends come over from another booth and I tell about my confusion and the whole accident story and that I can't even remember my best friends' names. They show some concern, but then some wild boar enters the place running and causing much damage, until he gets killed and someone takes it outside to the back of the building and leaves it on the ground temporarily. I go take a look at it soon after and some dog like a Husky is trying to eat the boar. He is making a mess so I shoo him. He doesn't like and attacks me. He actually looks more like a wolf now. I climb some structure to get out of its reach but it is not enough, the dog or wolf jumps high and almost bites me. I stop it with my arm and a sort of punch to its head, which beheads the animal. The animal's head falls to the ground and the rest of the body vanishes completely. I am in shock and that's when I realize I must be dreaming. So I lift off flying up and as I leave the ground, I realize I am inside some giant barn like structure. But I try to get rid of logic and let my mind roam free, so when I reach the ceiling, it just inverts and then there is like a second barn upside down. I enter some sort of backroomy dimension with buildings growing upside down and sideways and I just go through them and through wooden walls, ceilings, etc, just trying to get lost in the nonsense, not trying to make it right, trying to make my mind maleable. Then end up in a version of my own attic, but looking like a 60s lounge, with lots of yellow pillows and puffs on the floor. I plunge again in the wooden walls and this time I end up floating in a void for while, almost waking up. After a few seconds I start seeing the inside of the wood in big detail, as if magnified or if I shrunk to microsize. I don't feel my body, just my head, so I feel an urge to lick the surface with my tongue and it feels scaly. Then I am in a regular room but decorated in cluttercore style. There are so many carpets, plushies, curtains, pillows and all sorts of colorful bric-a-brac all over. I feel compelled to just admire it all. I realize my mind is trying to distract me with stuff, lots of stuff, but I indulge for a while. I go from room to room and each one is crazier than the other. Some rooms I need to go up or down through some wall mount ladder to reach the next room. I then see a box of jewels and a mirror in a small cozy bedroom and can't help trying them on, feeling that I am falling for the temptations to distract me. When I look in the mirror, I look absolutely goddess like. For fun I make the jewels, hairstyles and hair color change. Then I remember that often when I look at myself in the mirror in dreams, my face starts shifting and becoming mosnter-like, so I decide to take control of the process and just cause it myself, to fight that fear. My face slowly melts and I become ugly, my eyes all dark, fangs, messy hair. It makes me feel uneasy, but not terrified, because I am in control. I think about meditating next for a while, but I wake up.

(crossposted from my DJ last night)

---

It’s 3am, been awake for 30-60 mins, mind racing with worries about things. Forgot to do dream recall because im so preoccupied with these thoughts. A dog has been barking in the distance.

i stop and think, none of these worries have happened yet. Why am i obsessing over them?

Wait

Is there a barking dog? Is that just a sound distortion from my noise machine? A hallucination?

I stop and listen carefully. Sounds real.

I lift my head off the pillow to listen from another angle. Still real-sounding. I swear, it's as realistic as anything I've heard, not coming from my mind.

But then I stop to think and realize it has been the exact same two barks every time. Dozens of times. The same two barks, spaced exactly the same, identical tone and pitch on repeat.

It’s not real.

I proceed to adjust the volume and sound of the two barks with my mind. The hallucination follows my adjustments. Still the same spacing between the two exact same barks, but I can slow it down, adjust the timing, and change the volume with my mind.

There was never any barking dog.

The things I'n worrying about aren’t happening either. I still hear the same barking on repeat and my worries are still there, but I know what's in my mind and what's not. I'm going back to sleep.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Attending some teachings, some place up in the mountains with an amphitheatre. Some old students and western lamas are conspiring to betray my teacher. They are exposed and they are sent away. Joakim was not among them, but he concerns me a lot. I know that he is no longer a buddhist, has some new non recommended friends for company, so I suspect he is around only to cause harm. I stay close and keep an eye on him.

New series on TV with Keanu Reeves. He plays a lawyer with a split personality. He sometimes dresses up to match the personalities, but it is highly disturbing. One of them is a dog and he wears a dog costume and walks on four legs and looks weirdly like a real dog from the uncanny valley. Some other of his personalities are of black guys and he paints himself in black face. The makeup is so perfect that all we see is really a black guy, but we know who's underneath and I am shocked that he is actually doing this on a show in 2022. Then an episode in which he is the dog becomes a real life experience for me and I meet dog Keanu on the street. Although I know there is a person in there, I pretend I don't know and I pet him and talk to him as if he is a lost pet. He never says a word and then he runs across the street away from me and enters a bulding. I go after him. I walk through a long twisted corridor and I see many families gathered in rooms, mourning their loved ones, or just visiting them and realize it is some kind of hospice. Dog Keanu disappears at the end of the corridor and I get lost inside the last room, only to find my mother and my aunt Ludovina laying down in beds. At first I think they are restrained because my mom has an eye mask and for a while it seemed like she had a mouth gag. Turns out she is just taking a nap and she wakes up and moves freely. She explains that my uncle Francisco managed to get some legal document saying they both are insane and needed to be committed so the hospital complied. But she says that the situation is being solved right now and she is just resting before she leaves this place. Then my dad and aunt Lisa arrive and they say they just challenged the decision and are awaiting their release. Then both my uncles come by to confront them and for some reason I have a really big heavy pan on my hands and I threathen to smash it against their f-ing heads if they come any closer. They actually get really scared and go to a corner at the back of the room. Their kids also come, namely João, Sara and André and they are shocked with my behaviour but I also feel that they understand it. I hear my uncles talking in the background with other people, arguing they need the family money because sometimes their kids go hungry. I feel sad for my cousins, but it's their parents fault and not my mother's. I wanna reach out to them, but every one is staying quiet in their places so I decided to do the same as we wait for the legal fight to unravel.

Bug Infestation turned Lucid Dream
I was in the kitchen of my home, but it more closely resembled the kitchen of my Grandma's old house. I was by the dogfood container and I was going to feed my dog when I noticed a flat, round glass object on the ground that was completely covered in small bugs, it was either baby spiders or tiny brown ants. I jumped back and went to get bug spray, when I saw across the kitchen, through my open sliding glass door into my room was a lifted up carpet, and tons of baby spiders were crawling about, there were a few baby roaches and even a large grasshopper, too.
I've been having quite a few bug infestation dreams, so I actually made it a dreamsign, so while in awe of the sheer amount of bugs I immediately did a reality check by plugging my nose, and was pleasantly surprised when I still managed to breathe through my plugged nose. I used my lucidity to expel all of the bugs, and then there was a bit of a dream reset or something, I don't know, but I was suddenly on my bed in my room. My room, however, was stripped down to the bare essentials. There was my bed, but of a smaller size and rotated 90 degrees and now perpendicular to the wall with gray-blue covers, and in the corner across from it a small desk with my computer desktop, however where there were once three monitors there was now only one. Also rotated 90 degrees, now facing the wall. I began walking around my room in circles, the walls were a light gray and a soft light illuminated the room. Judging by my room primarily being lit by the light, I assume it was very early morning outside and the sun had not yet risen or completely risen. I was mainly focusing on trying to either add more detail to the setting or imagine a new one entirely, but since it's been a while since I lucid dreamed nothing really happened. I decided I would go flying around, so I flew around in an empty yet well lit void til I eventually lost lucidity.

Invisible car dream
I was at my dad's old house, the one I grew up in. It was night time and I wanted to go out to get a bite to eat, but my car wasn't out there, so I was waiting for my sister or whoever had it to come back. It was night time and the street and part of the yard was well illuminated by a bright, orange street light. There was no porch light however so it was fairly dark, but my brother was on the porch playing online chess. Despite there being a monitor it was still pretty dark. He was in some kind of chess tournament. We talked but I don't remember any dialogue aside from him telling me that he used my car, but he left it in "invisible mode". He told me you could see the reflections of the car. I looked out to the street and I could vaguely make out the top of a large, box-like shape due to the streetlight reflecting off of moisture on it. Apparently my car was now a UPS truck. I can't recall anything else from that dream.

Dad's New Dog
Once again I'm living with my dad at our old house. This time it's early morning. The sun is just rising, it's cool and humid out, and I can still feel the wetness from the dew on the grass. I walked around to the back of the house and saw my dad up on a ladder, and then an american bulldog with brown spots came running up to me. He was huffing heavily but mostly friendly. My dad said he got us a new dog. The dog kept following me very close behind and nudging me with his snout. I then walked back towards the front of the house and now it was completely different. Instead of grass, there was a cobblestone walkway. There was a bit of a roof overhang with pillars holding it up, and the house had an off-white, stone grainy texture and a red clay roof tiles. There was some woman with two kids that I "knew" and I was now worried that the dog might jump on them or even hurt them, so I kind of kept him back while they went inside the house.

Dream Fragments
I remember being on the corner of my dad's old property once again, outside the fence on the dirt road. I was behind a few trees and I remember a truck coming down the road. It was beginning to rain. In fact, it was raining super hard. I think the guy in the truck told me I better try to get inside. I remember floating up to the top of the tree and I think I tried to fly to the inside of the house.

Another fragment had me inside of a house that I didn't recognize. It was pretty comfy though. Lit entirely by natural light from outside, it was a bit dim because of the rain. The furniture was a grayish color. There was a thin but long living room that connected to a dining room and kitchen with a bar. I think I was waiting for someone and I was home alone.

I was in my room waiting for my sister to get back. I think she was bringing chocolate milkshakes.

I’m driving somewhere and notice that the horizon behind the hills has an ugly yellow tint of wildfire smoke. The look of it is unmistakable and instantly saddens and angers me. I sigh my discontent. Now, I’m walking with Melissa and Stella in what looks like these hills. We round a corner going uphill and some flames come into view. They are burning tall and intense yet confined to roughly a 20 foot diameter. We continue walking on the trail. (I had seen an ambulance? - which maybe I assumed was a fire truck - while driving earlier, otherwise I’d be calling 911. Come to think of it, it was headed in the wrong direction). As we get a little uphill of the flames I consider throwing some sand onto it or rolling some rocks over it. I then think the rolling rocks may only spread the fire and that it looks to be surrounded by sand anyway. We now seem to be at the top of this hill. There’s a man with a dog on the trail a little ahead; Melissa starts running after him, calling “sir!” I’m confused, but it’s because she watched him not clean up after his dog. She catches up and tells him this. He looks annoyed, maybe because it’s outside - though it is right on the trail - but goes to pick it up. It looks tiny through the bag. This path leads into a stairwell built into the hillside. There’s a little landing before, on which the dogs meet and don’t really do much with each other.
(I’m not sure if this is part of the last dream or not). I’m in some two story house with Melissa. Stella is on the second floor and we can hear her barking at something. It sounds and feels like she’s directly above us.

Some small in-line notes and such.


2022 June 13th

Quick note to self, this was also the date of the appointment.

Fragment:

(left recall too late)

I'm in a mountain town or such. It's sunny, mostly clear. At some point my friend K calls me, but I think I miss her call.

Later in the dream, something about water. Not as sunny now? I think I speak to K on the phone now, but it's like I'm also next to her too? (vague recall) She tells me that she wanted to invite me to a party before, and I apologise for missing the party. She then tells me that her dog G has died. I say that I'm sorry to hear it, and I hear her voice breaking a bit and I feel myself close to crying too, knowing very well what her pain will be like. We talk about something else for a bit.


2022 June 15th

Fragment:

I'm in a street, I have a dog with me. She looks like S but has worse behaviour and at one point "play" bites me, a bit too hard on the left wrist. I look for a wound but don't notice any, and then I think about how it actually didn't hurt all that much.

(gap)

Someone else was present in the dream up to this point, though now I think I'm on my own with the dog again, at a place that is supposed to be like a veterinary practise. A vet person gives the dog an injection. After about ten seconds, the dog is numb and she can't really move at all. I pick her up and put her on a conveyor belt thing. There's a dark atmosphere/mood. The dog is here to be put down. I feel sad, and also think that it's a shame she couldn't have had better behaviour.

(there had been more context to the situation but these were the bits of recall I lost in the gap)


2022 June 16th

Scraps (DFLN):

Many dreams. Only recall one dream where I was in a dark room with zombies. They seemed slightly aggressive, but not entirely.

(Although I was playing 7d2d at the time, I also became ill with Covid after this)

I’m with Melissa and taking Stella to a pool. It feels like the pool at our complex but a little different. It seems we’re approaching it the same way as we really would, but there is no fence. Right away I notice two guys (one in the regular at work, Blair) and their black and white border collie in the water. Stella doesn’t react to it. Now I feel alone or just separate from them. In the pool, which looks like a long oval with a skinny section in the middle that also seems to be a hot tub, I swim and submerge myself. Someone? asks if I’m doing it to get away from everyone. I think to myself that she’s not entirely wrong.

I’m walking Stella somewhere outside, a fairly wide dirt path, when I pass an older man with his dog, what looks like a retriever. Stella does well with being able to pass the dog without meeting it. There is a culvert off to the side, maybe 8+ feet long. It’s almost filled completely with running water and Stella decides to get into it. In an instant, she’s completely submerged and I can only feel by the pull of the long leash how far into it she is. I initially remain calm, hoping I’ll be able to remain calm, hoping I’ll be able to hold onto the leash until I can just run and grab her on the other side. This then does not feel possible, so I call for help from Dad who is now here. Stella is somehow still being swept down this stream that only seems a few inches deep. It is rocky as well and feels like it’s underground, as I run to catch up with her. With all of my might, I eventually do.



I’m going into a Dead and Company concert with Melissa. The indoor venue seems like something comparable in size to the Reno Events Center. There’s a simple white folding table in the foyer and some hassle with the middle aged white man in getting our tickets. I succeed in getting them and we go in. It’s close to empty, so we hurry toward the front. There’s no GA, only seats. When I ask, Melissa says she doesn’t care where we sit, which kind of irritates me. At first we go up too high, so we try lower. There are now some people here and we have to squeeze by them in their seats. The band is on the stage now, all unfamiliar except for Bob Weir, the rest seeming much younger. I notice the drummer playing but don’t hear any music. Bob is wearing a black cloth face mask which he removes and gives to one of the younger band members to wear. This makes no sense to me but I try to let it go.

I am with Julia and maybe some others. We’re walking along a rocky creek bed. The rocks are dark gray, smooth, and large enough to create a few feet of space between us and the water below. I end up climbing down to the water. Julia reacts as if I shouldn’t be doing this, but I think it’s fine. I continue further, eventually submerging and then surfacing in a large, circular pool. The walls seem to be stone, though possibly with windows around towards the top, like a cross between a natural space and an aquarium. There are several sea animals swimming in here with me. Jon is here also and I think I jump into the water once or twice.



I am walking outside when I pass by someone’s yard. The path seems to go right next to the chain link fence. The yard is fairly large and at a slight incline. There’s a large rock right by the fence; I climb up onto it. There are two dogs here and I am impressed as one climbs onto the steep side of the rock. I’m not sure if the dogs are coming over to be protective, but I end up playing with them. A younger middle aged lesbian couple come out of the house through its back door and start to apologize for the dogs, but I don’t mind at all. I throw a ball for the dogs. I also sense the couple is tired and trying to go to bed.

I’m outside somewhere, maybe an apartment complex. I have Stella with me and notice a couple with a dog approaching. It looks like a black border collie and I recognize it as a dog Stella has seen several times but hasn’t been able to meet. Stella notices the dog, but the couple keeps approaching. The man, shirtless and fit, wearing sunglasses and a stoic expression, asks if he can ask me something. I say yes and then ask if our dogs can meet because they’re so close right now and haven’t gotten to meet. He amicably says yes and I explain that she gets frustrated when she’s on leash and can’t meet other dogs. Their dog, what now looks like a retriever, sits by me and playfully chews on my fingers. I clearly feel its sharp little teeth. Stella is very close but is largely ignoring the dog. Now one of them jumps to his back and he catches it with his hands behind his back. He never asks me what he was going to.



I’m walking into a building, a restaurant or something similar. I’m also a woman or dressed as one. I have on a light blonde wig that is not very convincing. I think I also have women’s clothes on. There is attention on me as I walk through to the restroom; I’m aware that I don’t fully look like a woman and stand out to judgmental people but don’t really care. I walk with confidence. There’s a small 90 degree hallway into the restroom, the floor of which is very cluttered with what looks like green foam blocks. They’re hard to get around and I think of what a hazard/liability they are. In the restroom now, the urinals are taken and 2-3 people are waiting. (I went into the men’s, slightly unsure, because I think I still have a penis). I notice two stereotypical straight white men who I know are going to throw a fit about me being in here.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some party with coworkers and their kids (I think). My boss, who is some random dude in his 30s, good looking but not my type, starts seducing me. I don't show interest, but I try not to antagonize him too much, afraid of his reaction. At some point I fall asleep in a couch and I wake up with him leaning over me, shirtless and I am afraid of what may have happened. I am fully clothed and there are still other people in the next room with the kids making noise, so I guess not much happened, but I don't know. Back to the other room, one of the persons is actually his wife and she is giving me a side look. I decide to leave as I feel uncomfortable. But I can't find my bag. I start looking for it and the kids basically mixed everyone's phones and other personal belongings and spread them on a couch. I find my phone but I still want the rest of my bag. Instead I find a plastic bag with my stuff in it. I am upset and say that the kids stole my bag. Their parents feel offended and don't like my accusation. They tell me I should just take the plastic bag because it's the contents that count, not the bag. I am pissed at all of them, but I accept and leave.
Some days later, at work, I have a meeting with my boss and Zilla, who also works with me. Our boss was recently promoted and I am actually happy it was him and not me, because I didn't want that level of responsibility. I feel less stressed and feel this could work well. Then he makes a stupid proposal that he wants to change everybody's schedule and make us all have two hours lunch breaks and leave later, because I need that time at lunch break to dedicate myself to some artistic project I am working on and which he wishes to support. I panic and say "Please don't! People want to leave early, they have families". Zilla is clearly very upset with the idea. Then the idiot says he doesn't care, he is full on in our relationship and wants the others to know about it and his support to me. And I am like "WTF are you talking about? We have no relationship!!!" And I am freaking out, because everyone will hate me and believe we are lovers instead that he is delusional..

I go on a desert trip with friends: three ladies and a guy. We stop our jeep at some dunes to take some pics. The ladies have their hair wrapped up in shawls.

I convince mom to go with me to a local shelter, which also works as a dog hotel, to get our dog Lady who is there for some reason. Mom doesn't want to go, she is afraid to fall in love for some other dog at the shelter, but i explain we will only go to the reception and get Lady and she won't see any other animals. We get Lady but they want mom to register as a client (dog is hers, but I registered as the client). They ask her lots of stupid questions and even subject her to some sort of skills test. She draws an amazing picture, then they want to analize its meaning. I'm like "WTF?" but she is sort of enjoying it. Then we hear a large plane flying over us, someone shouting at us and the sound of what seems like a bomb dropping, so we duck under the desk. Then something heavy breaks the ceiling and falls close to my feet. It's a bomb and is about to explode. I know there is nothing we can do and we're about to die. I wake up in panic.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am leaving Soraia at some junkyard temporarily for some reason and I don't want her to follow me, which is hard because the gate doesn't perfectly close, it has gaps and she manages to escape through it. So she follow me. I pick her up again and hand her over to the junkyard guy. Then I go to a class at the university. I sit at a desk with some other girl I know and she offers me a bag of meat for my dogs, which I start shredding with my hands hile the teacher talks in the background. Some people see it and make some remarks about it. Not so much for doing it in the class, but how can I be doing that if I am vegan? Then I spot Soraia going around the room looking for me - she escaped again - and I select a portion of meat to offer her. I bend down closer to the ground and call for her to come, which she does and I give her some meat.
The room is now an ampitheathre outside in some old archeological ruins. On each side of the amphitheatre there is a corridor sided by stone walls ending and both ending in an area with large steps or small platforms where we can also sit. I followed Soraia here. I see a nice stone that I think would be great to take home and put under the leg of a table that is unstable, so I pick it up. Then I see a shadow and hear a noise and look up and there is some sort of catapult that I accidentally triggered by removing that stone. First I am afraid to be squashed but then I notice the catapult's arm is long and will actually hit the people sitting in the amphitheatre. I yell and warn them and they see it. But they are packed together and I don't know if they manage to escape. As I come closer, I stumble on people leaving the place, some that I know and I ask them if everyone is ok. They say no. Two guys were instantly killed and a 3rd person died soon after plus many are injured. I panic. No one seems to know it was my fault and I am torn apart. The right thing to do is to turn myself in before they find out, on the other hand I feel I can't admit guilt right now or I'll be killed by the mob. Don't know whom to talk too. I join them mourning and trying to figure if there is any way anyone will find out it was me. I look for security cameras and there is one in the distance pointed at the corridor. Probably hard to tell that it is me in the video, but if they identify me, and probably will, i'll be suspect number one. So I better tell. Then there is some kind of gathering in an indoor auditorium to countinue mourning and honouring the dead and I stay way in the back just trying to figure out what they are saying about it. Seems like no one is pointing to culprits and assume it was a freak accident, so now I have doubts if I should come forward. I am torn apart and I also cry for the victims. Either way, I now carry the feeling of guilt for killing people accidentaly and it feels absolutely horrible.