All DJ Entries

#1
I am at a long dinner table eating with people from work. We are discussing new assessments. I express thinly veiled disdain at the idea of more testing. I am worried that they will think ill of me for holding such ideas. One colleague has a University of Northern Kentucky marching band costume on. A bottle of wine is produced.

#2
I step outside of my paternal grandparent's house. It is night. I walk down the driveway into the street. Everything is dim and shadowy. I recall my previous dream and realize that I am now dreaming. Lucid, I break into a run and leap into the sky. I remember mid jump that I should RC and stabilize the dream. I try to get my hands together. I am tumbling through space. I can't control my hands. I bring them up to my face and frantically try to rub them together. No dice. I wake up.

WBTB (5 min) + MILD produced this. Second in as many nights.

I have no aspirations to fly. I have no idea why this occurred. It was almost instinctual.

#1
I am at a rather busy gas station with several other people, including the wife. There are security guards there and they have a policy that forbids taking of photographs. Those at the gas station have two options: 1. Give their phones/cameras to the security guards, or 2. Show the guards the "first and last photos" on said devices. I opt to give my phone to the guards. They disable it by taking a part off. I do not mind as I want to comply with the policy. Soon I am in the back of the gas station on a grassy hill with some unknown people. They want to smoke weed. I decide that even thought it has been 10 years, I will join them. We smoke out of some long, blue, dragon shaped pipe. I worry it will make me fall asleep. Then we are laying in the grass, which we can miraculously pull up over us like blankets. We look up at the night sky. There are beautiful stars all around. Next I am inside the station, in the stock room in the back. I am preparing to go somewhere by putting my shoes on. I notice there is weed strewn about on a shelf with other trash and debris. I pick it up. It looks like high quality. An employee peeks in and says "no talking to the security guards."

#2

I am in a car with the wife and several other people. We are driving along a wooded road. There are hills on either side of the road. Nestled in the hills are beautiful, ornate victorian greenhouses. They are all white wood framed and glass. There are small, wispy clouds around the peaks of the roofs of each. I think "it must be from the humidity escaping through the vents." The greenhouses are on both sides of the road. Each is more ornate and beautiful than the last.
The last set are strange and futuristic. They are made of rectangular glass units. The units are stacked into various strange and seemingly impossible shapes. Then the units seem to be tents, with people in some of them, people leaving others. We arrive at a dusty, desert nature preserve. There are more of the tent units on impossible ridges and locations high in the hills. People are crawling along narrow paths to reach them. We lay down on the ground for some reason. Pebbles start to tumble down the cliff, small rocks that do not hurt us. They gradually increase in size until i tell everyone we need to get up or get crushed.
I am then going to go for a hike with my wife. My parents are going to watch my children. I walk through a trailer that has been converted into a kitchen. My wife goes around the structure on the outside. I hear her voice through he windows. I see loads of fruit stacked in the trailer. There are a peaches and bananas. I exit the trailer and do not see my wife. I go back in looking for her and see the fruit again. She is not there. I go out to see if she is outside. she is not. I go in again. not there. I go out and realize as I open the door "This is strange...I am dreaming!!"
Lucid, i drop some food that I have in my hands and immediately rub them together to stabilize the dream. I call out "maximum clarity and stability please!" Everything becomes amazingly vivid and crisp! I leap into the air and fly loop-de-loops under the wooden awning. I begin to sing the mantra of Avalokiteshvara as I am flying. After 5 repetitions, the dream fades and I wake up in my bed.

WBTB: I fell asleep at 10, woke up at 2:30. I practiced MILD as I fell asleep and awoke from this dream at 4:30.

02/16/14***
Quick entries...at least for now.
Had a good vivid dream featuring my son about 12 years younger than now. So cute!

Had all 3 LDs late in the morning after getting over the hump of short dreamlets and mostly dreamless period where my awareness usually starts to wane.

Felt like a breakthrough on a new WILD technique for me. Similar to a few things I have tried before but with the addition of a kind of self hypnosis to put me in a relaxed but aware state. I was basically interacting with both HHs and actual stimuli. My wife moving around in bed I turned into Girl Friday getting into bed. That turned into the first lucid where I was in a bathtub with her we were both naked and I was feeling all over her and we were having intercourse I changed positions to pull her right leg over my left leg. She seemed to get smaller and her face became distorted as I focused on it. I continued kissing her though as we had sex.

Second LD, DILD inside sports arena getting ready to play. Red John is on our team this time...unusual. I am late and they are starting to play and I think about going out there without all of my equipment and then I realize I am dreaming I can just go without or...and I end up just putting everything on instantly. Our team scores as I'm coming out on the field and I decide to fly up for some celebratory sex with a woman in the stands. I think this is fun! Next I will go out there and score fantastically and I do; it is so much fun! I fly back up into the stands and look for my type. She is sitting in a skirt with nothing on underneath and we immediately go at it! Fade back to bed.

A bit later I have cool false awakening turned DILD where I am in a bedroom/office and I complete one last task and I look at the time and realized that I worked 38 minutes longer than I intended to. I turn around and the sun is shining blindingly through the window and I realize I am dreaming. The sun feels so vibrant on my skin but the light is a little too bright. I inch my way towards a bed just out of reach of the sun's glare and I restore my bearings. I turn around and there is another bed where the workstation just was. I look closely and see two feet overlapping each other but no one attached to them...at the head of the bed by the pillows! I find this cool instead of creepy and remove pillows to examine further. I touch the feet and they feel like feet, neither warm nor cool to the touch, maybe a little rubbery. I fade back to bed.

A scene ended with me getting into a car and driving away. While I'm driving, however, something goes wrong, I keep weaving into the other lane, and I wind up getting pulled over by a cop. I'm thinking, good thing this is just a dream. And I'd rather not stick around for this, so I go incorporeal and float through the roof, invisible. I look down at the cop being surprised by the car without a driver, and then I decide to bring the car with me: I turn it into water droplets, which collect in the palm of my hand.

There's a memory gap, but I doubt the semi-lucidity lasted long after that. Next scene I remember clearly is non-lucid: a woman is consulting a witch, asking her to do a spell or divination for her. When it's over, the witch asks the woman what that looked like from her end - meaning that during the course of the spell, the witch realized this woman's got some magic of her own. And the god this witch works for may or may not have an interest in this woman. The witch asks her a question, about why she's trying to (do something) when she's got too much on her plate already. The woman explains: there's a guy who loves her "pretty bad" - no mention of whether it's reciprocated - and she "can't hear him anymore," by which she means hear him in her head - it's a vampire thing - and she's worried about him.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm temporarily working for a doctor with a small private practice, I'm in training. The doctor's showing me a patient's chart and is asking me if anything jumps out at me - I say the patient's lost 10 pounds, but I'm thinking, that could just be a diet. The doctor points out what she wanted me to see: this patient's been suffering from hallucinations, describing strange sights and sounds. But she lives in the city, and there are all sorts of strange things there; and on the date that she experienced these 'strange sights and sounds,' there was a parade. I'm doubtful. I say, "I don't know, it's pretty difficult to confuse a parade with a hallucination." The doctor admits this is true.

There was a scene where I went to talk with that patient, and by the end of that scene we've wound up talking casually in the waiting room, she's very pretty and very easy to talk to. Then a baby belonging to one of the other patients crawls up into her lap. It's got a dripping diaper. This eventually leads to an unpleasant confrontation with the mother, who denied that the baby was the cause of the mess; the mother becomes so outraged that she takes out a gun, points it at the ceiling and shoots.

I grab the woman's arm holding the gun. The other patients in the waiting room all run out the door, except the one I'd been talking to. I get the gun away from her before she can fire the other bullet - it's a two shot derringer - and I hand it to the other patient. As I do so I say something along the lines of "Hold this for me, honey." Then I think, wait a minute, she was my patient a minute ago, that's very unprofessional, I can't go around changing a DC's relationship to me mid-storyline just because we shared a nice conversation and a life-or-death situation. The woman has pulled out another gun, and I take it away from her and hand it to the patient again - there wind up being 4 guns total.

Unfortunately this dream was the night before the night before last night, and I'm just now writing it down, so I'm heavily depending on the little keywords I'd written that morning…

I'm in the woods behind my house and I see a little hole in the ground by a tree trunk. I crouch down and look into the hole and I see many snakes of different species inside, some moving slowly. I get very excited. A hibernation den! Now I can visit snakes even in the cold months and I'll have them all to myself! I don't reach in to hold any, though, because I don't know if that would be harmful for them to come out in such cold weather. ((The day before I was reading a reptiles/amphibians book of Indiana and it talked about snake hibernation dens, and I hoped that I could find one. So that's where that came from.))

So I walk away from the den and I find another, much smaller one, where I can only see one or two thick, rough-scaled green snakes, like emerald tree boas, though I don't remember if they had pits. As I crouch there near it, a wet, tiny one comes out, and I realize that it's actually some sort of hatchery/nursery. A big one comes out right after, and I'm afraid to move, because I'm afraid that the bigger snake will attack me since it would want to protect its young if it saw me as a threat ((for the record, in the waking world, I know that that's not how it works with snakes)). I move a little bit, and the bigger snake freezes and draws his head in a little, while the baby retreats back into the den. Hesitantly, I stand up to walk away, and the bigger one also goes back into the den. I am relieved.

At some other point, I'm in the living room and I jump up and bend my elbows so that my hands are near my shoulders, and I flap my hands quickly. This causes me to hover, or difficultly fly a bit. I fly around the living room a bit, but that's all I remember from that scene. I think my grandmother might have been there at some point.

At some other time, I'm walking down the street to get to "the end of town", which were the directions which we had given to someone else. The end of town was apparently barren except for a few people living in poverty, with lots of dirt/mud smeared on the road and sidewalk. My Mom was ranting about how we had told someone to go to "the end of town" but we didn't tell them which end to go to, and now they had gone to this one, and now they won't want to go to the right "end of town". After this, we're walking back and a news man comes to interview me, holding both the microphone and the camera. He asks something that I don't remember, and I hop along while flapping my hands so the hops are big and drawn-out, like I'm on the moon or something. I say something sarcastic to him and refuse to answer his questions seriously.

At some other point, I'm standing in a room with a model wooden ship and a man. Out of habit, I do a reality check, and realize that I'm actually dreaming. Remembering the task of the month, I look at the man and say, "who's my soul mate?" He hesitates for a moment, and, disappointed, I think that he won't answer. Then he looks at me and says, "you should sell all your plates." I'm amused, and I don't ask him further. I walk past him to examine the model ship, reminding myself that Im' lucid. However, next, something happens which I don't quite remember, which is so interesting and engrossing that I forget to remind myself that I'm lucid, and I fall back into a regular dream.

At some other point, I go downstairs in this house to find three rooms: a bedroom with a desk, a living/game room with a couch and a TV, and another room with more games and another bed. The living room/game room are connected with different carpet, but no walls or doors. The first bedroom is closed off with a door. Inside the bedroom I find a snake, rough-scaled, with dark green and blue stripes. He's hanging from a stand that you'd give a parrot to perch on. I pick him up and say, "aww" and "you're such a baby" and the like. However, next, I have to put the snake back because my mom calls down from the stairs and says that she's about to show some people around the house, and if I don't lock every door and window before they get to the basement, then she will proceed to show them around, even though I am naked. I frantically go to lock and close doors and windows, and there are suddenly more doors and rooms than there used to be. I managed to lock nearly all the doors, but there is one room that I don't get to in time, so I have to go close the door and lock it while my parents and their friends are in the room. They all stare at me awkwardly while I go in, naked, to close the door. Later, I've locked every door, and, I thought, every window, but my mom leans in through the top of a window to say that I hadn't locked the upper third of that window, because apparently that window folds open and closed and requires three locks.

At some other point, I'm flying through a jungle in the treetops, flying the same way as before. I see some cool snakes, and I get scared by some creepy bugs, and I'm trying to get over the tops of the trees, and at the very top of the trees I find some dopey, fat caterpillars with yellow underbellies and green(?) tops, and they cheer when I go past them above the trees, and they rejoice, saying something like, "finally! a person who's as pathetic as us! Friend!"

At some other point, I'm standing on the top of a tall building, with another man in front of me. Out of habit, I do a reality check, and, again, realize that I'm lucid. Since the last time was sort of unsatisfactory, I ask again who my soul mate is. The man, the only one in the vicinity, looks at me and says, "that guy" without pointing or otherwise indicating who "that guy" might be. Giving up, I jump off the building and try to fly just by thinking about it, but it isn't working, so I flap my arms (my whole arm, like a bird, not just the hands, as it had been when I wasn't lucid) and go higher and higher, and I try to shape shift into an eagle or something, but it isn't really working, and either I fall back into a regular, non-lucid dream, or I wake up. I can't remember.

Alice (of Wonderland) kneels down and waits. I can see movement behind her, something approaching, but I can't see it clearly from this angle, it's hidden behind Alice, until it gets close enough to be standing right behind her: a man and a woman, something off about their eyes. I'm aware they're here to take her to (Purgatory or the Underworld, something like that). I can hear music, a tune that reminds me of vaudeville.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

Three people from a motorcycle gang, driving down an empty highway surrounded by fields of tall dry yellow grass, passing a billboard where the ad's been scraped off. I can only remember vague fragments of the previous scene, but it had been focused on the leader of these three, and he'd been trying to escape something - fate, his role in life, something like that. The transition to this scene means he's failed to escape. He's thinking something about a murder that happened in the past. There are police ahead of them, waiting for them.

POV switches to those 'police', although they look more like military. Weapons are being distributed, grenade launchers, and one of them exclaims over the model, he's very knowledgeable about it and excited to be using it - he says his father or uncle used this same model in a certain war. Another cop, one who'd been in that war himself, says something sarcastic, along the lines of "Did he? That's nice. Did he bring it home for you to play with?" The cop who'd been excited goes quiet, says "Well, no, but..." The cop who'd been in the war doesn't like hearing it talked about by people who weren't there, feels strongly about those memories being something you should keep apart, not bring home to your family. But he starts talking about it now - he says, "Good war, (he says a year). A single man could've turned the tide by pledging his country to one power or another. And even a warrior likes to hear that."

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm in the moon kingdom from PGSM. (One of my lucid goals is to travel to the moon - I suspect that inspired this non-lucid.) Chibiusa's here, she grew up here, and I'm thinking, wait, how can Usagi and Mamoru's daughter be living in this time period?

The scene changes with that thought. In the present, on earth, Mamoru's working as some kind of private security, wearing a suit, standing with other security around a limo that's stopped in the middle of the road, having some kind of confrontation. He's in trouble here, and he's aware Usagi's in trouble elsewhere and he won't be able to reach her to help her. He's holding something small and black, and he's remembering when it was given to him by a man who told him some words to memorize in order to use it, to transform. I'm thinking, the fact that he had to memorize the words indicates that he wasn't Endymion at all, he was simply playing Endymion's role, filling in for him; this was also indicated by the uniform that he transformed into, which resembled Endymion's but was much darker, almost black, unlike the real Endymion's much lighter blue. Now that he's trapped, he passes that black object along to one of the other men working security with him. He starts to tell that man the words he must memorize, but as he starts to say them, the man taking the black object finishes the words himself, he already knows them - indicating that, by chance or rather by fate, that black object has finally been passed on to its real owner. Endymion's true, light, uniform appears on him, and he leaves to find Usagi, flying through the air - which I have an incredibly bad feeling about. The real Endymion isn't necessarily a good person for Usagi to know.

The other people Mamoru was with have left the scene, Mamoru's now kneeling in the street, surrounded by cops with a misunderstanding, and a police detective is holding a sword to Mamoru's throat. One of the cops calls the detective away - there's some order over the radio that means both that they're needed elsewhere and that Mamoru isn't guilty of whatever it was they think he did and should be released. The detective is extremely reluctant to follow this order, he doesn't want to let Mamoru go. The cop relaying the orders from the radio phrases those orders in a way that praises the detective's work up until now and stresses how much he's needed, and finally the detective releases Mamoru and he and the cops all get into their cars and drive off, towards a bridge.

2/11/14 Car turns into a bus slowly flying over a huge construction zone and it takes several steps into logic/memory to realize that I am dreaming. More fun with Girl Friday after a bit of an absence. More odd early awakenings. Perhaps too many liquids before bed, ate a bunch of citrus + water. ~1120 ~1230 105 325 DILD ~630 Another apocalyptic dream earlier in the night that I didn't get lucid in unlike yesterday's but that one was later in the morning. Tonight's was a long, memorable tsunami dream in a high school setting featuring the whole school gathering in the auditorium, missing clothes, spilling sauce, senior prank with a (RC?) helicopter, some weird method from Spanish class of calming the crowd after the prank and then looking out to see a tsunami approaching and running up several stories to stay above the water.

The earliest recall in my DILD started outside a sports arena(?) and I was getting into a car and Girl Friday was there shivering. I tried to rub her arms to warm her up but she was a bit stand-offish and got into the front passenger seat. I started off driving and was getting on a freeway where the shoulder was coned off and workers in orange safety vests were setting up a roadside memorial with flowers, balloons, etc. As I continued the slow lane was coned off and then 2 more lanes were coned off suddenly (must have been 4 lanes total in my direction) so I had to get over in a hurry and check my blind spot. At this point no other vehicles are on the road and the car transitions into a bus in which I am riding in the back (my recall of the transition is a little hazy but it obviously didn't make me lucid yet!) This bus is travelling past major construction and a huge tunnel-boring contraption that I could see digging a tunnel. The bus starts weaving around various parts of the construction that is in the way and I notice that instead of just being elevated like you would be in a bus, that it is actually floating. This part is hilarious to me because logic kicks in before memory when I think to myself "why don't they just float a little higher to avoid all of this mess?...no wait a minute buses don't fly!" I say out loud "buses don't fly, this is a dream!" I remember that Girl Friday was in the front passenger seat (from when it was a car) and I say something like "get on back here." She arrives and we start making out feverishly. I unbutton her blouse excitedly and reach my hands into her blouse and around to her back feeling her bare skin and undo her bra. She is wearing either pants or shorts and I unzip them and I remember the goal to slow down and look more closely at individual items and decide to focus on the copper colored button just above her zipper. It has an interesting pattern that I don't recognize from waking life. The dream starts fading as I try to reach out for her and I also try a closed eye teleport which seems to return me to my bed quicker or it was just the timing of being at the end of REM. I lay still and attempt to DEILD but only manage to semi-interact with some HH's or short dreamlets. One was maybe 10 seconds long and featured what looked like a giant toy ape and I appeared to be near it's midsection (possibly in it's hand like the girl in King Kong) and I managed to look around a little bit before it faded. 106

2.06.14 Thursday

Last night bed 11pm - 8am

The magic hour 11pm came through huge, with some best recall in ages and epic dreams. Also, meditated second time in a day 1 of Anapana Sati (breathing awareness), for 15 min, 10:45-11pm, just before bed.

DR 1:
I'm on top of a not so gently sloping hill, covered in grass. Sun is setting. We were doing something, now, people are walking/running down the hill and I want to shock them with me flying down head first. I look at them sideways if they can see me.

DR 2: 3:30am
I going with my mom to the hospital where she used to work. She is going to ask, if they need her help. I'm sitting in the waiting room, but she is not coming out. There are other patients in beds nearby. A man comes out playing harmonica. I figure he is a doctor.

I'm sitting on right side of a blood drawing tray. Another doctor in lab coat is asking me my name. I tell him I'm Kate's daugter. They know me, since I used to visit my mom ther while she worked there (IWL as well).

I get a funny feeling and I ask a nurse about my mom. She says they took her.

Me and two others steal long knives, and hide them in sleves. We are walking down a long escalator, towards a security station on the bottom. I don't know how, but we get through without beeping. A female security guard comes out after us and now we know, we have an ally in there. She drops a button on the ground and I pick it up. It's a microfilm evidence how the hospital "took" secretary of "something", same as my mom, and many others.

DR 3: 6am
I'm back at the same place from dream before. Only now I'm not alone. There is bunch of people with me and we are storming the place, to liberate all the patients that are held there against their will.

I'm throwing vases and ashtrays at people in the waiting room so they leave, because there is gonna be a firefight and I didn't want them to get hurt. A young black boy throws down from this balcony 3 bracelets. I go down, pick them up and put 2 of them on. He wants them back, but I'm just laughing.

I'm running with a girl in a tow, holding her hand. I peek out from behind a corner and see a shadow of a guy with heat seeking missile. I wait for it, then we ran opposit direction, hiding behind the corner. He shoots one more time, but we make it to safety.

I'm hiding in a small alcove in a wall. One of the bad guy's leaders slides into my view on his knees. I take aim and shoot. I hear my machine gun turn on empty twice. I'm out of ammo. Another bad guy comes from behind the corner and I'm taken captive.

Now I'm laying on the floor, face down, my elbows tucked under me. This rooms seems to be after the fight, where we all gathered to regroup and recoup. Doctor is kneeling next to me. Pulling right arm out to check on it. It's ok. Now the left arm, but this one is not moving. I say maybe the muscles had locked. So he gives me 2 shots in my right shoulder. Somebody comes to talk to me and I realize I'm their leader. Doc treats some wounds I have on left shoulder.

DR4: 8am
I'm waiting for a bus with kate and her kids. Bus comes, she gets on, the door closes, and I'm struggling to open the door with 2 bags in my hand. So I get pissed at her not holding the door open and i stay behind. Then I look at the bags and they are both hers. Crap. Now I have to take the bags to her. I check if her phone is there, but it's not. Good, so I can call her to tell her when I'm bringing her bags.

Now for good 10 min, I'm trying to punch in her numbers. This is crazy and so frustrating. In order to get to each individual right numeral, I need to scroll through what seems like dozens of characters. I'm going out of my mind. I'm sitting inside, then I move outside, but there is a busy street with tour buses going by and bunch of people talking, including a group of foreigners sitting at a large table.

I see a small white fluffy dog wondering around. Seems like his leash is broken, but when I get closer, I see that he is on a very long leash that winds all over the place. So i let him be.

DR5:
I just walked to the top of a tall, rocky mountain. Like in Himalayas. Sharp peak, all snowy. We are inside of a glass lookout place. I look out, and there is a walkway around the mountain, with a simple guard rail. The wind is howling, we can hear it all the way inside. The snow is coming down like crazy, being whipped by strong winds. It's -110 degrees.

I'm flying down the center of a stairwell.

At the bottom of the stairs, I switch to 3rd person. This is a college, and classes are letting out. There's this incredibly beautiful androgynous person who stops a guy in the hall and talks to him, then s/he gives him this piece of paper with a small square smear of something dark green on it. This color will alter the guy's personality. The guy takes it, and he refers to them as boss and generally acts friendly and cheerful, but he's careful not to actually touch the color. S/he tells him to find a place without any people.

The guy heads up the stairs to the second floor, and I switch to his POV. Most of the classrooms have a few people in them even though they're between classes, but I find one where the chairs have been stacked up on the tables, I figure no one's going to be using this classroom for the rest of the night, and I call the boss over. S/he gives me some more of those papers, with different colors on them and labels giving an idea of their effects, and tells me to distribute them to some of the other students here. I go to do so, but then realize I've mixed up the one s/he gave me with the others. It was clear when s/he was talking to me in the empty classroom that s/he expected me to have already taken it, and now I'm worried about making them mad. When I can't find it again, I wind up taking a different one instead, a slightly lighter colored green, the closest match I could find. Immediately after, I find the one I was looking for, and I wonder whether it's safe to take two. I take it anyway.

I'm talking to someone against the boss's wishes. I consider myself loyal to the boss, but s/he's got a self-destructive streak that I have no problem acting against. Those papers would have prevented me from doing so, but taking two of them sort of cancelled each other out, the changes they caused didn't stick. This guy I'm talking to is a detective or something similar, and I'm telling him a woman's name. He has others working for him and he has them ask after the woman.

I'm a different character in that same college setting. There are police or military or something surrounding an angel - which looks nothing at all like a human, I mostly have an impression of a vast white face like a mask or a doll, twice the height of a man, alien and hostile. I'm thinking to myself that I can't die, it's impossible, like I'm trying to convince myself, but seeing that angel shook me - something about seeing something that old, something that existed before I was created. The disembodied observer side of me is thinking that although the character side of me isn't aware of it, there's some connection between me-the-character and that angel.

As the same character, I'm talking to a woman, and ask her to lend me some money. I don't need a lot, just something to get me into a game, I'm confident as long as I have some money to start with I can easily multiply it. She's disgusted, says it's always the same with me. She gave me a business (I have some mental association here with both religion and gambling) and she expected me to run it, so why am I still doing this? I find this ridiculous of her. I had absolutely no interest in the business she gave me.

I'm talking to someone about characters from Buffy - but all but one of us here are aware that I'm just using them as metaphors to talk about us. The one who isn't aware, who thinks I'm just talking about fictional characters, gets bored and leaves, but I keep using the metaphor. I'm saying, no, Giles's problem was that he knew exactly what his - and more importantly, Buffy's - destiny was supposed to be, and he knew it wasn't going to happen. Hence his downward spiral; he knew what they should be doing, and yet there was nothing he could do. I'm looking at a woman who I equate with Buffy as I say this.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I've just driven to my IRL mother's house from a lake, and decided I'm too tired to drive back to the lake tonight, I'll spend the night. Mom gets me a coffee, there's chunks of chocolate floating on the top, I'm thinking about how much I appreciate her thinking to provide comfort food like that. The coffee's too bitter for my taste. I'm thinking that's odd, since I usually drink black coffee. We talk about how tired I've been, and she says it's due to the work I've been doing. I think that's strange, since the job I've been doing is easy, but she says anything you're not used to will tire you out, and relates it to her own similar experience.

Regina is surrounded by people she resents and is saying "Get me my advisor. Now!" As a disembodied observer, I'm pleased to hear this - the advisor she's referring to is Rumpelstiltskin, and earlier someone used a similar phrasing and tone to ask for their father, so I take this parallel as an indication that she's viewing Rumpelstiltskin as a father figure, which was something I wanted.

As Rumpelstiltskin, I've been recently de-cursed but have made sure no one else realizes that. I'm looking through a cabinet for an object related to the situation Regina's currently in. I find it: a small statue of a man in armor standing beside a stone pillar with what looks like Chinese characters on it. I pick up the pillar, removing it from the rest of the statue. I'm talking to myself as I do this, saying "You're here, but are-" I hear Regina's soldiers arriving outside, come to fetch me. I've been expecting them. I immediately pocket the pillar and statue and adopt a pose appropriate for my old cursed self, irritating my bad knee for a moment but making sure no one else will be able to tell it's bothering me, adopting a mindset and mannerisms as if I were putting on a costume and mask, though it takes effort to mimic what used to come naturally - that manic delight and curiosity and energy and attention focused in a million different directions at once. I'm getting used to faking this, though, and am more worried about whether that trinket I'm carrying will work.

Before this experience I had lucid dreamed 7 times and my main goal was to fly in at least one of them. It happened randomly on a night that i wasn't planning to lucid dream, about half a year ago. It was a natural LD. It started out as a normal dream and for some reason i was being trapped inside a house by a group of men. They were all in the living room with me but i wasn't allowed to go outside and leave. I had this emotion that I had to get out as soon as possible so I tried to escape by fighting all these men at once. When there was only one left standing I ran outside the front door. The last guy ran after me. I remember my heart beating rapidly and then it just hit me. I asked myself the question, why am i running when i can just fly?! In that split second I became lucid and tried to fly. I knew it was my first attempt at flying so to me it seemed a bit difficult. I told myself just do it and believe. I started to float above the concrete. I got about 5 or 6 ft high. Then I seen the guy catching up to me. I said to myself hurry up before he comes. I would levitate a little higher but then drop lower again. He grabbed one of my legs and started to pull be back down. I knew the only way to fly was to get him away so that I could concentrate. I punched him in the head while floating until he let go of my leg. He released me and I started to fly up in the sky. I remember the view was beautiful and then it all started getting blurry and faded black. Then I woke up. I woke up with such a good feeling. That I had finally flew in one of my lucid dreams and that If I did it once, I could do it again.

"The greatest illusion is that mankind has limitations " - Robert Monroe

I've forgotten completely how I became lucid, but I became lucid at one point and I only remember the following after that, so no point in color-coding.

I'm in my house upstairs with my brother Zach. Once I go lucid, I attempt to recall any dream goal of mine, but struggle with it and eventually give up. Instead, not wanting to waste LD time, I turn to Z (who knows I'm dreaming) and say, "Show me something interesting."

He cooperates and leads me outside. Like my house, the street looks much like it would in waking life, but the sunlight was extremely bright, the grass a vivid bright green, and there just seemed like there was an aura of happiness resting over the dreamworld. I smile, taking in this sight for a moment, and then Zach jumps and takes flight from the ground. I follow him up, and the moment I'm in the air, I notice the area past my street is much different than it should've been. He began flying away in a straight direction and I follow him, looking around at the massive town as I did so. It was completely and utterly random at this point--colorful structures and tall skyscrapers stuck up in every direction, with the woods bordering everything around. My interests are piqued as I wonder what Zach's going to show me.

Eventually we float back down to the ground, in which he leads me into a small, square, basic dark building. Inside the ground is all carpet, the lights are dim, and people are chit-chatting in every direction. It was very dark, but the atmosphere was very welcoming, much like a bar or a small party.

Zach leads me to the left and the right again into a large room where electronic music played in the background with a couple of bars and something interesting in the center--a small tennis court with maybe 3-4 people on each side. Most of the people looked like older teenagers, say around 15-19. They're playing...tennis, but with a few peculiarities. Firstly, they're playing with their hands (much like volleyball). The ball was mostly transparent, but the clear ball was surrounded with an intricate glowing orange design that left a motion blur behind it in the air and was quite easy to see. There seemed to be no way to take score--players just played until they got bored. The biggest difference to this kind of tennis and IWL tennis was the fact that the physics were very trippy. At the weirdest moments the ball would go in slow-motion, or shoot towards the ceiling, or fly past the players towards the wall.

Zach explained to me, "This is dream tennis. Kind of an interesting sport, I think. Do you want to try it out?"

I nod and grin and Zach and I join one of the teams together, and we play a few rounds. At first I mostly suck (no, really, I blatantly made the ball hit the 2-foot-tall net at one point), and I'm teased by my teammates about this, but I eventually (and proudly) get the hang of it. At one point in the middle of the game I question Zach as to why it's not called dream volleyball since you play with your hands. He only says, "I don't know, I didn't make the rules, I'm only a dream character!"

All in all the game and the dream itself was rather strange yet fun, and I totally wouldn't mind playing dream tennis again in a later LD. Eventually I wake up after a few rounds and I DEILD back to sleep, though the contents of the dream that followed are a bit more... private.

On a side-note, I remember a non-lucid dream fragment from earlier in the night where I was playing one of my favorite MMORPGs called Mabinogi, but that's all I can remember from that.

Date: 21 Jan

Entry 1/2

Pre bed: 3mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte, had trouble falling asleep (external factors)

At some point, I begin to feel energetic as has been occasionally the case, but interrupt the process by visiting the restroom. Finding a comfortable position is not easy.

WILD: Finally, I turn to my lhs and remain still for some time. Then find myself staring at this DC woman with green blouse, it feels like I'm in.

I make cautious movements, trying to get up from the same position I was sleeping, initially just move my head. A slight scene change, I am now in my old room. I begin rocking sideways, the way I did at the beginning of another ld. This makes me feel more comfortable/fit in my dream body. Then I fully get up. The dream feels slightly unstable and I head for the window, where I tear down the curtains and look outside.

It is dark as hell, no light in the apartment and not a single light in the entire town. I remember to look at the sky - it's mostly clear, a slight mist and no stars at all. I look to my right and feel a bit creeped out. It is dark there. My worry is that I might summon something by habit. I recall I wanted to and shortly do breathing exercises. The effect is very powerful, I feel lots of saturated energy coming in and as part of me.

I decide to get in and turn around, it is a bit brighter in the room. I head towards the switch and turn it on. No light. Then I concentrate on the bulb and try to make light radiate from it, there's some effect but the room does not get brighter. I imagine another lamp and try to do the same with similar results.

Maybe I can use some candles, so I summon three small blue candles and work hard to light them. I've always thought that lighting a candle should be easy in a dream, but it turns out not. I just can't imagine the fire I guess. The wicks get bigger and fluffier and the candles change to larger ones and I make some fire-like sparks with my hands, rubbing the wick, hoping it will catch fire and use the other candles to spread it. They appear to have a ghostlike fire now, but don't emit much light as I place them around. I am annoyed with my abilities, but feel that I just need to do some fire gazing irl to improve them.

I retreat to the bed and examine the furniture. There's lots of stuff around and it looks as if I am back in this room. I wonder about how accurate the proportions are. It's exactly the same size. Most of the objects belong to the particular time frame when I lived there, but there is the blanket from our current home. Then a sofa from our old place appears for my amusement. I think about doing more breathing exercises (maybe just a few breaths?, not much done or effect) and contemplate on my life while living there. In the meantime, it is a much brighter day outside, when did that happen? Cool!

At some point I notice that I am holding a melting candle in my hand and decide to extinguish it and put it aside, but somehow feel that this symbolic act means the end of the dream. Indeed, just a bit later, the dream starts to thin out.

I think I did touch on my body very briefly, but it might have been a in-dream chain.

DEILD/DILD: I eagerly wait for the next scene, wondering if it will be in the same place. I see (kind of like in third person) myself walking in bathrobe in this place. I'm in properly now and have the ability to look around and choose where I want to go. It's inside a building and I look at this open door which reveals a softly lit bedroom apartment. I briefly consider it, but prefer to go outside, so head towards the door. It seems that it is still winter, piles of semi-thawed snow and I am not properly dressed, but for once boldly go outside. I try to phase through the glass door, but it's solid so I just open it. As I pass through the back entrance of the building and yard I see that part of the yard is sunlit and feel happy about that. Maybe I will finally have the opportunity to look for a palace looking building once I get to the street. I also think about possibly being invisible, but not sure how to apply at this point.

There are different levels of the side of the building, so I have to maneuver by climbing near a balcony to manage reaching the front of the building. I see a weirdly shaped gray cat there and wonder if it is a real cat and can see me (cats are supposed to see things like people possibly obeing), but it doesn't react like it would if that were the case. It's controlled by my thoughts and comes closer. There's something not very catlike in it, like another sort of animal I can't identify. I don't want to get too involved (and have it stuck to me like a blanket) so ignore it and think about finding the palace. There are only normal buildings around and I think I need to get in the middle of the street where I would get a clearer (trees here) view of the buildings and hopefully think of or see something appropriate.

In the middle of the street and my mood is great, sun is shining brighter too. I do some sort of bounce where I float and remain mid air and then gently float up. Very pleasant feel. I come near this tree with very small bipinnate leaves (possibly closest to honey locust tree, but with thicker leaves), it looks very beautiful. I'm starting to lose height so wonder if I should use the nearby thin end of the branch to hold on to, but with the delicate tree leaves this is not going to be very nice for the tree. I prefer not to do any mess on the tree even if a dream tree.

[mood change]

In the meantime, I see two female DCs that I identify as bitches down on the street. My attention is directed at them, I want to and then do something to one of them. I briefly wonder why the hell do I have these desires with those bitches, one of them looks a bit like Rachel Weiss. Luckily, even after what I have done, I manage to control my impulse and don't get a sexy feeling. I think about my tasks again. I am now in what reminds me of my school but the building is kind of shifty/unstable. I think that maybe I should summon my dad and he will drop me off the palace. The dream fades.

I am in Hollywood California as a tourist just wondering around seeing the sights taking it all in. I find myself at some kind of red carpet and there are many celebrities gathered for some reason. There aren't many people around so I figure this is a prime opportunity to hang out with some famous people. I see Ben Affleck with a few other people and I signal him to come over, he walks over a few seconds later with a couple girls apologizing that he was chatting with Milla Jovovich. I ask them if they want to hang out in the arcade next door and they happily take me up. We walk in and the two girls are fixated on an sort of skee-ball game that involves throwing lemons down an ally at specific targets for points. I walk around with Ben and we just chat about life as norm and how people react to them in general. When we come back to the skee-ball game he joins them and I decide to walk around some more there are bright colors and lights and all sorts of arcade sounds I am somewhat pleased by the environment. I return to the three of them and Milla is now in the group playing the lemon game. Ben is requisitioned by some fans and follows them out the door of the arcade. I step in on the game and ask the girls if I can join them, they are more than happy to play with me. I am overjoyed I am playing the lemon game with Milla and Bens date. As I throw the lemons down the alley it is slightly more difficult than it looks and I am embarrassed about wasting their lemons. Other fans have stepped into the game and were allowing themselves to be the targets for the girls to throw at, they are being cheeky and the girls giggle. So I allow them to play some more and then walk away out the door Ben went. He was posing for pictures on the sidewalk and sitting on some kind on wagon facing the street. I wave goodbye and continue down the road.
It is mostly tourists flocking the streets now. Like a sea of tourists, we are all headed to a good look out point to take photos of the Hollywood sign. I can barely see it from where I am, a local tells me the best place to shoot is from a hillside in the distance they point to and I see people filing that way. I am on the edge of the city and there is a small patch of woods between me and the hillside. I have to travel down a ravine of some sort and it is quite muddy. I notice there are very large pinkish orangy mushroom type trees littering the Forrest. They have large spines on them that bend easily to the touch. I am aware I have never seen anything like this and they seem either alien or prehistoric. I am following a man who has fairly certain footing though he begins to travel away from where we are going and I recommend we take the path of a fallen tree which is more direct he follows my advice and we advance together.
When I am finally approaching the open hillside I notice a man dressed in biblical attire singing a gospel, those around him chime in and suddenly the entire mass of a thousand people easy are all singing praises at the top of their lungs. It is breathtaking. As I am walking by the people who have stopped to sing I begin clapping the rhythm of the song, I begin jogging and I am suddenly in biblical clothes myself. The wind is blowing rather hard against my tunics and I hold the edges of my gown convinced I can glide on the wind. The singing picks up as I lift off the ground moving with speed in the air powered by the wind and my gown of flowing fabric. I glide forward and backward zig zagging the entire group moving down the hillside. I am overwhelmed by the experience the singing is magnificently heard from this height. The people see me and exclaim I must be the real one! I come closer to the ground towards the edge of the hillside which is more of a cliff. I turn and land though the wind is pulling me towards the cliffs edge. I am gripping the soil trying to maintain and three women who are African american offer me their hands to pull me up. I am eternally grateful, as I am walking back up there is another boy on the cliffs edge, I reach back and help him up as well the singing is dying down and all of the people seem focused on me.
The Hollywood sign is no where to be seen.

my HH has turned from visual to auditory. It sounded like some very fluent news channel. The whole time, I was impressed by my subconscious and how it made sense of everything and how it sounded like an actual news station. -hypnic jerk-. Fuck. Get back in the zone.

My sight becomes a small peephole that i identified as a telescope. i tried to gaze at the stars. Before i know it, i have my dream body. It is night time and i am in what appears to be a mens changing/locker room. I perform a reality check and look at my hands just to stabilize myself and again, my fingers are short stumps and it gives me the fucking creeps and i shiver. I hate how it looks. I look in the mirror because everyone says how funny/weird it is. The first time I look, I die laughing so hard that i almost wake up because i see a retarded white man with his eyes too close together looking back at me. I turn around and look again...this time it is actually me...except with fat. I actually think that i look even more handsome fat than my usual body. -shrugs-. I also see some type of poster behind me in the mirror. I go outside and the marsh clouds are present in the dark night. I remember my training and try to make the picture more vivid. doesn't work at first, but does on second try. At this point, i decide to levitate and surf. i noticed a small fear of flying over the open body of water....I ended up at some cliff and saw a couple of familiar people. I surfed/flew more, and wondered why it was night. I wanted it to be day. I changed the scene from night to day subconsciously.

I fucked tabitha. Doggy style.

I end up at the locker room again and a maid asks me something about a towel and I say, "you can leave it there". I walk a stairway and see a guy with one eye (cyclops looking) with a group of people, but I am focused on him. For some reason, his one eye reminded me of my third eye which somehow reminded me about locating my dream guide. I asked him twice and he said he wasn't my dream guide. the third time i asked, he said he wasn't but he will take me to them. I asked him if it was true that they have to tell the truth on the third attempt about asking them about my dream guide...he and a friend say, "yea, it's one of those unspoken things...." he takes me to a warehouse and leaves. i enter and see a rifle on a desk just chillin. I suddenly don't trust the situation and am about to back out, but see a black lady behind a desk and ask her if she is my dream guide. she says no and tells me to wait.... and my memory cuts right here and i still have yet to find them. Maybe instead of asking, i will APPOINT someone my dream guide.

11.01.2014

Flying & Mountain Wind Hand Tries to End the World (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

• Flying (YES!!! FINALLY)
• First person perspective
• Skyrim like graphics on steroids
• Borders like the running mocap test from the many motions guy on YouTube
• Snowy area
• There's a huge mountain

• I have to fly to bypass a barrier (reference to many motions)
• I see all sorts of items
• Several of them have the name "flail" as an extension
• Most seem to be grapple weapons
• I attach them
• I open a box on a bench
• Random toys and objects

• Justice league members suddenly come out of nowhere from the box
  Superman and Batman having an argument while I look at a few picture books of the other members (wonder woman, green lantern)

• Then some wind hand extended from a mountain appears, and apparently it’s a threat

• Sensui Shinobu from Yu Yu Hakusho rises from the dead because he feels that he must restore order or else the wind hand ruins the cycle.

• He uses sacred armor and prepares for an assault
• Dream shift confuses journey of the dream

• A random purple female bug is trying to defend the hand I believe
  
• Bug has yellow-green hands and a dark pink body base with dark violet wings mixed in with some pink
  
• All she does is literally phasing into the hand to stop it from becoming a threat

_________________________

11.01.2014

Doing Everything in One Trip (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Relative of mine intends to drive to certain areas in one trip

12.01.2014

Riding a Scooter Down a Slope (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm wearing a light colored suit and pants with a cool colored dress shirt tucked in. I'm riding a light gray scooter down a slope, and as soon as I reached the bottom, I immediately made a huge rotational halt to the left.