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I think imagination playing tricks on me.

When i lucid dream, i see the same city all the time. Same place. I can do whatever i want there. After few years experiance of the same place now i know where are all the parks, markets, shops are and which bus i should take to go somewhere. Thats really weird,i see same people,same gangs, where the poor ones live, where to hide if someone is chasing me and where is unsafe to go. The roads, forests are the same. Now it's been a while since i lucid dream being there, that's kinda sad

Backlog: 28 Feb

On the whole had a very restless night, trouble falling asleep, followed by emotional nlds. Later got woken up and ended with insomnia.

My wakefulness increases to daily levels and I am ready to get up, seeing no point in being in bed anymore. Yet, I know how groggy I will feel later on so have one last effort to catch some sleep. I try the classical wild plus relaxation tips with the sole purpose of falling asleep at this point. There is a specific pleasant sensation in my stomach. I try not to move but have to change positions several times due slight discomfort.

Finally, a bright scene flashes in front of my eyes so I know sleep is near. I even concentrate and make another one appear, whilst still having awareness of my physical body. It's like being in two places at once. The scene is fanstastic. I find myself flying high above the sea and green lands. The water looks fantastic. I can feel my dream body flying while being in bed and as it floats and is about to flip over the scenery.

The sensation is cool but difficult to maintain and input from my physical body takes over and I find myself back.

I continue to do my best to fall asleep. I find myself in another dream looking at a mirror. I am happy to ascertain that I have made it to the dream. "I'm in", I tell myself out loud while looking at my reflection in the mirror. My reflection doesn't quite move in synch with my words so I make some efforts to synch, but not to much avail. Then I notice my breath and just feel the need to breathe as if I am having some difficulty doing so. I spend some more time breathing in and out and watching my reflection as the dream interrupts and I find myself in bed.

Asleep, some short nld part, then another dream scene on the playground.

On the playground, which bears resemblance to this real life place before it morphs. I climb onto a playground structure and look around. There are a number of DCs as well as dogs mostly immobile at this point. I slowly move my gaze from one DC to another and then from one dog to another examining them. Everytime I do so, they turn and pay attention to me to. It's like I can feel my attention as a gust of wind animating and being reflected in each DC. This is quite cool. At this moment, I also notice that there is a warmish wind that also connects all of us and is gently blowing from direction or another. It feels really pleasant.

I try to remember any tasks and recall the basic for March - find a house and get inside. I look over to the street and see an old entrance door to this building. It looks far away but I decide to give it a try despite having some doubts about dream stability at this point (due feeling). To reach it, I have to first get down from the playground thing I am on. I jump and try to slow down my fall not to cause extra instability. It works somewhat but also rotates my vision introducing slight instability. At this point a classmate comes down to help me, looking rather concerned. Her face is reddish on some places as if from mild sunburn.

I look ahead to where the street is, where I need to cross to get to the entrance gate. The place morphs and now I find myself on an elevated fence looking over the street, but the edge of the fence is out of reach due to there being trees in front and also lots of thorny shrubs. This infuriates me and I decide to cut straight through everything. I find myself in the midst of all the shrubs piercing me and causing overall pain as the twigs are everywhere. This looks super realistic and I take a moment to examine myself. It just doesn't feel right me pushing through all of this vegetation at all costs, seeing an old cardigan of mine being torn in the process and all this pain. I conclude it's against my philosophy and decide to take the side road to reach my goal.

I gently move away from the thorns that block the way and turn to the other side, which has once again changed and is now a nicely looking forest. It's a dark green vivid color and the trees are close together as not to allow any sunlight through. I notice some interesting looking plants to the side and wonder whether to investigate. Still having my goal to find an alternative road to the house though, I look around the forest. "I almost lost myself in a forest in a dream", I think. The forest now reveals an invitingly looking path that stretches all the way ahead. I examine it with curiosity and excitement, trying to see what is at the very end - looks like a castle very far away. At this point I recall CL and how it could be a good moment to zoom in right over there, but before I could do anything, the dream ends.

I stay still and deild.

Find myself inside a house and a store at the same time. There is some political scenario going on and posters on the counter in front of me. The lady DC behind the counter is unhappy with the actions of the local supermarket.

While walking around I try to recall some of the totm tasks. I wonder if having ended up in a house now would count for the basic but I discard the idea and struggle to remember other tasks. After some effort, the mirror task finally comes to mind. Ok, need to find a mirror, didn't I just pass one by? I go back to where I was a moment ago and face a man-sized mirror. It changes from being clear to being covered in vapour just like it would in the bathroom (first time this happens in a dream, probably because I am trying to do a task!). This irritates me, but I go ahead and wipe it up a bit to at least see my face clearly.

Then I stand in front of it and slowly prepare to move inside. Being a bit apprehensive due to wall phasing experiences ending up in the void, I keep my eyes open and keep staring at its surface as I take a plunge in. The moment I do so, the mirror swallows me letting out a loud underwater like sound "Blop". It's pure liquid and shows no resistance. I quickly emerge on the other side, looking around to see where it has taken me. It's overly dark but I can make out the contours of objects around me and they become clearer to finally reveal that I am in a pantry sized room. It looks exactly like a pantry with shelves and all sorts of objects being stored around. I make a mental note of it, soon the dream fades.

Non-lucid, Lucid, Comments

.../I have to take my flight back to my current city. I'm with my brother and I'm telling him how different it is when I fly alone. There's one minute left before the plane takes off and I'm still in the waiting room when I tell him if I were with my wife she'd be stressed like hell. I see the plane is about to take off and thinking how are they doing with my package. It doesn't matter, I know I'm inside that plane before it takes off.

There's a jump back in the sequence of the dream time and get back to something about a disgusting guy who I ended up murdering for the second time. I have a knife covered in blood in one hand and a tea spoon in the other. I feel the urge to get rid off both of them but I must be careful because of I start to see police officers everywhere. I clean the blood from the blade with my tongue, I don't want to use anything else because of it may let clues. I hide the knife under the sleeve of my jacket and the spoon in the pocket. I get inside a sort of pond under a roof. The water seems to be deep and dark enough in some places. I throw the spoon there taking care that no one sees it. I see an adult woman sniffing around. I think she may be a detective or some. I hesitate to throw the knife. I think I must find a better place to get rid off it. I see some officers started to dig on some of the ground near the pond. Definitively I want get out of here but I don't want to call their attention. I still feel the blade with my arm. I wonder if the sleeve is funny shaped because of the knife. I follow a guy who did something similar but he doesn't seem to be worried at all. He tells he got rid off the knife near his neighborhood which is far away. We are drinking wine and vodka. I'm drinking my bottle of vodka while I'm still thinking about a place where I could leave the knife when a thought flashes in my head: "Hopefully when I wake up all of this stress will be over". I realize what it means and feel slightly stupid for the waste of time. I still have the knife in my hand but now I don't care about where I could let it. I finish my bottle and let it on the floor. A dwarf starts to follow me. I get into a store and stab him with the knife. I hear some DC's screaming. I don't care and let the knife in his back. I go out of the store thinking about what could I do now? I remember there are some lucid dares. I remember the dare about the alien invasion! I wonder how could I do it. I realize there was a weird mountain in the dreamscape which I didn't pay much attention. It's like a pyramid covered with pines. Now I see it looks like a huge Christmas tree. I think it could be the alien mothership. Then I wonder how could I accomplish the dare. I think what about a telepathic communication? I look in the back of my thoughts to find the invasion was already taking place but we humans don't have to realize about it. I "feel" they are infiltrating their people already. I send the message to stop it. Now? How could I know they have already stop it? I think this task requires a lot of imagination and I don't feel I have enough time to see a proper "war" taking place. I think I may give a try to another task when I see an athletic guy jogging on the road I'm about to walk. He could be one of the aliens I think! He keep on jogging. What was the other task? Now I remember, it sounds easier to perform! "Be a good person with the duck of the smile" (No idea where this one came from). I start walking on the road towards a forest when the whole dream starts fading out/...

"Anaken"? An event somewhere. It was a grass area. A familiar place but not sure where. Manila? We were looking for a jeep. It's night, so I'm worried I might get lost or end up in a bad place. I imagined a place along the road that's dark. There are trees on both sides. I decided to tag along with others. I think Amben and Sacha were there.

It's... dawn? Or late afternoon? We were walking near a plaza area. There are stuff for sale. Grey colors, dim, hazy.

---

Notes:

- It was clearer when I woke up but I keep going back to bed to sleep some more.
- I slept around 11 p.m. Woke up at around 10 a.m., but I kept going back to sleep before that.
- Slept to Kelly McGonigal's default mode meditation.

I had a full beard/mustache. I was trying to shave it off with my electric razor. (Strange cause IWL, despite being 19, I hardly have more than a few stray hairs on my face.)


Something to do with the boardwalk behind my subdivision. I was exploring it. Everything was overgrown, however. There were huge fern/palm trees growing. The creek (normally polluted and full of garbage) was running crystal clear. It was very foggy and somewhat dark. I also remember being very hot and being partially lucid. I think I was flying around.


I was at college. I had wanted to take this girl out to lunch after she told me about how here scholarship stopped paying her and now all of her money was going into paying for her classes and she couldn't afford her meal plan anymore.

I got distracted though. There was some kind of drawing competition where you would trace around a person and then texture their body. You were rated on the creativity of how you textured the body. I remember that my group was upset because I hadn't been there for the competition.

They had traced around the girl that I was supposed to be taking out to lunch, but the legs were very out of proportion and very small. The texture they had chosen for her body was fish scales. She then got very angry with all of us for drawing her with fish scales.

The RA came and told her that it was just an art project and was supposed to be fun, but she lost it.

There was something to do with the bottom floor of our dorm being converted to an art supply store.

There was also a complex plot about the girl that I was supposed to take to lunch. I think that her scholarship was made void by her controlling boyfriend, who was able to pull strings in order to keep this girl with him out of need, even though she would have broken up with him long ago...

I think I need to hit the autosuggestion notebook and set some proper dream goals before tonight. I think that the reason for my sludgy recall and lack of lucidity might be lack of organization and clarity. It's basically a put-good-in, get-good-out kind of thing. If I organize my thoughts in my autosuggestion notebook, then becoming lucid, recalling dreams and accomplishing goals should be much easier.

While I'm writing side notes, last week, I started a daily journal on my computer. I've heard quite a few dreamers recommend this for dream recall and clarity. So far, I have only noticed a slight improvement.

I like to use the daily journal to also track things that I would normally not track in my dream journal, but can still pertain to lucid dreaming, such as my bedtime and daily activities.

Ritual: WTB 3am, woke several times before and after dawn but didn't WBTB, woke around 9:30am and put vibrating alarm on wrist, set for 24 minutes. Woke up too soon, before it went off, reset it. Next cycle effective.

EILD: I feel the pulse of the alarm on my left wrist, waking me, but remember to lay very still and see if I can maintain dream state. I experimentally move my hands and arms and from the sinuous and unimpeded sense of motion I'm convinced this is working, that I'm moving the dream body and not the physical one. I know I have to be careful not to overdo it and actually engage real motor functions, so I spend some time almost "dancing" in place with my arms, writhing them bonelessly like a snake dance, until I have enough sense of engagement with the dream body that I risk rolling out of bed. I can't walk yet: I can barely crawl over the rug. I know I need to engage the environment, so I stare at the carpet, noticing the texture of the pile. I'm pleased when I spot a piece of random detritus under my dresser, because something unexpected means the dreamstate is gaining momentum. To gain traction I focus on physical sensations, running my hands over the carpet and even bending lower to rub my cheek against it. Even though I've done this many times before I'm still impressed with the vividness of the sensation, it feels so scratchy and real.

When I feel sufficiently engaged with my dream body, I manage to stand upright and walk. I easily recall my plan to work on memory—carefully though! I don't want to actually wake myself up. Trying to remember where I went to sleep seems unnecessary, as I still haven't left the bedroom. What about the date? I'm pretty sure it's February... I don't want to think harder to get the precise date lest that efffort wake me. (It's worth nothing that I usually have to think just as hard to remember the calendar date in WL. Usually I just look at my phone because it's easier.)

I start walking through the hall toward the kitchen. What other memory should I try to access? I know, what have I been reading lately? I'm pretty sure I came up with the correct general impression, but even as I write this, details of my waking life knowledge of this topic are corrupting and crowding out the dream recollections to the point where it is hard to be sure how specific my answer was. At any rate, in the dream I felt satisfied with my level of memory access and moved on.

As I entered the kitchen I noticed something peculiar: even though I was in a very accurate mental model of my house and had a strong access to waking recollection, and had even managed to access WL memory without disrupting the dream state, it had not in the least improved it either. I had a good sense of tactility (I find that the easiest sense to maintain), but as so often in early WILDs (which this effectively was though induced by EILD technique), my vision was still extremely poor. The haziness was mitigated by the fact that I was in a dream version of my house, as I almost am at the start of dreams of this type, so I "knew" what was around me and that knowledge could help make up for the lack of visual clarity. Perhaps that is partly why my mind instinctively frames such dreams in this way, in addition to the straightforward logical continuity of entering the dream from a mental model of the same place I went to sleep. It moreover suggests that from the start of WILDs I always instinctively remember where my WL body is sleeping, even if I am not paying deliberate attention to the fact.

I wondered if concentrating would clean up my vision but there was no improvement— it's too bad I didn't think of Fryingman's awesome technique, which I only read about last night, of "taking off the blurry glasses." I figured I should try to clean it up in the usual way, interacting with the dreamstate until it naturally clarified and brightened. Meanwhile, I thought about the other tasks I had been planning. Most important was the elusive forest. After many tries fruitlessly trying to reach it on foot, I decided that I need to stop chasing it, since I seem to be encountering a mental block, and instead will it to manifest around me. I also remembered another task that I've been wanting to try for ages but never managed to think of when dreaming (so maybe this memory trick is working after all?) My idea was to see if I could "play" my WoW character, a Forsaken, and explore the Undercity. I murmur her name aloud, but decide to save that for another time—right now my main goal is to work on the forest.

I stand squarely in my kitchen and start to visualize myself surrounded by trees. There is a tall houseplant to my right with feathery foliage: it must be the little potted tree I used for Christmas, a Norfolk pine. I reach out and grasp its soft needles with my right hand, thinking this will help focus my thoughts on the forest I am attempting to conjure. Intriguingly, I fail to notice the spatial discrepancy: although the real tree is only a few feet from where I dreamed it, in WL it is now outside on the patio rather than inside the house.

Unfortunately, this is as close as I get to manifesting anything like a forest before my husband comes into the room. I figure he'll just ignore me because I am dreaming—and oddly I make the assumption, as I seem so often to do in the dreamstate, that I am encountering the real-life version of him even though I know I am dreaming. Maybe it is this tendency that makes some people interpret dreams so closely modeled on RL spaces as "OBEs". But I am thrown into confusion when my husband looks right at me and starts talking. What does it mean? How can he possibly see me? Could I have been wrong in my conviction that so-called "OBEs" are a naive misinterpretation of certain kinds of LDs; might I really be "projecting" an image of myself into the waking world? This still doesn't seem plausible, but the only alternative I can think of is that I am actually awake. (Note the dream logic: despite the generally high level of memory access and mental function in this dream, I completely fail to consider the most likely— and as it turns out correct—alternative, that the encounter with my husband is nothing more than a projection of my dreaming imagination.)

So am I awake or dreaming? I'm not sure anymore. It feels like a dream, and I'm still not seeing my environment very clearly, but maybe I'm still groggy and bleary from having just gotten up. How could I be confused about this, though? Although there are plenty of times that I'm fully convinced I'm awake and turn out to have been dreaming, not once have I ever been fully convinced I was dreaming and turned to be awake. It doesn't occur to me to try any of the typical RCs, but I focus my attention inward, on my sense of bodily awareness, to try to figure this out. I've often noticed that my dream body is characterized by a peculiar kind of inward vibration radiating from the area of my solar plexus—this impression used to be very strong and distinct, especially when flying, but it has become much less noticeable as I've grown more experienced. I think I can sense it now but it is very faint.

My husband is still talking, and although I am too perplexed to follow what he is saying, he seems to be complaining about some bad habit of mine. "...twenty-one times a day," he concludes. Apparently that's how often I do the thing that has been annoying him. Does it have something to do with my dream practice?

The encounter has now totally disrupted my concentration on the forest task, so I turn around and approach the patio door, thinking I'll just go outside. The weather looks lovely, cloudy and wet. "Hey, it's raining," I comment aloud, and anticipate how nice it will be to feel the cool water on my skin. I start to take off my sweater so I'll have something dry to put on when I come back in (it doesn't occur to me how odd it is that I'm wearing a sweater if I supposedly just got out of bed) and pull open the door.

"Don't, we have to leave," warns my husband. I recall (correctly) that he wanted us to go out on an errand today, but even if I am somehow actually awake, it must still be mid-morning. I assumed we were going in the afternoon, why would he want to leave so early? With these thoughts the dream is finally disrupted and I wake up.

Note: On the way to my laptop to write things down, I remember the silent alarm still on my wrist and look at the time. It reads 20:42, and it was set for intervals of 24 minutes, which means the whole dream played out in just under three and a half minutes. Of course, then it took an hour and a half to fully record, which is maybe why it's a good thing I don't LD every night, lol.

Ritual: wtb 1am, woke 5:45am, wbtb about an hour, take supplements (piracetam, bacopa, choline, alpha-gpc, l-theanine), lay on back, doze off, turn to side, woke 8am to record dream.

DEILD: I half-wake from an unremarkable NLD and realize I can DEILD. As I transition I can distinctly hear a woman's voice speaking, though she wasn't saying anything memorable. After a while I hear a new voice a man responding, and figure this is a good sign, suggesting that the hynagogic state is deepening toward dream. As soon as I feel like I am fully transitioned, I get out of bed. I remember the task I had intended: the storm TOTM. I go outside, intending to summon it, but the dream does not yet feel stabilized and my surroundings become vague. I retransition and realize that there's no reason I should feel constrained by concepts like "inside" and "outside," and decide to summon the storm from right in my bedroom. I look up at the ceiling and it becomes transparent, so that I can see the sky overhead. It is half-lit, with faint stars and gauzy clouds: I will the clouds to thicken and darken.

After another spell of vagueness, maybe a retransition, I go back outside to see if there is evidence of a storm yet. It is working! There is a patch of very heavy dark clouds overhead. It it not yet a full-blown storm so I work on it a little more. I raise my hands and shout, "Wind!" I am modeling this on the scene from the film Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) where he conjures the clouds so it will get dark faster. I decide to add a little more panache: "WIND AND FIRE!" I yell, still gesticulating at the sky. The clouds are roiling and I do see patches of fire, so when it is sufficiently apocalyptic, I fly directly up into the cloudbank.

The effect is disappointing: I have no real sensory impressions apart from sight, and the visibility is very poor. It is hard to distinguish the greyness inside the clouds from the greyness of unformed dream, except that I notice that the fire has coalesced into vaguely anthropomorphic forms that resemble elementals or demons. Although they are distant and none moves to threaten me, I feel vaguely anxious and start singing to reassure myself. The dream destabilizes and I retransition.

I go outside again, and find myself on a slightly elevated walkway; just below is a middle-aged white guy who seems to be gardening. He looks up at me and says with an air of disappointment: "You can do better than this." I feel as though he is chastising me for summoning the storm, and feel a pang of guilt, although there is no rational basis for this. After entering a building, I look down and notice that I am carrying a phone. It is not a contemporary model but resembles those old Nokias with the small monochrome screens that can render text but not graphics. Distinctly legible on the screen is the word: "SmarKu," a mix of lower-case and capital letters as though it were abbreviated from something. The word intrigues me, so I ask:

"SmarKu, what are you?"

"A phone," it answers simply.

Well, duh. I try rephrasing my question, "I mean, what do you represent?"

"..."

Since the phone seems confused or reluctant to answer, I finally resort to a term I dislike, speaking forcefully for emphasis: "What do you symbolize?"

"A pimp and a whore," retorts the phone with an edge of sarcasm.

I can't help but laugh at the inexplicable rudeness of the reply. What is this, a dream version of Tourette's syndrome?

I retransition and go back outside, running across two gentlemen having a heated discussion. I find their conversation boring and don't make any particular effort to remember it, but this reminds me of the thread (I think it was last month's TOTM) where we were discussing the fact that it feels different to "think" something in a dream versus saying it "aloud," even though it is hard to conceptualize the difference. To test this principle, I comment inwardly on how dull their conversation is, and pay attention to how this manifests. I do not "hear" the words with my dream ears, nor do I seem to "speak" them in my dream voice, so it feels no different from thinking something in waking life. I walk over to them and think it directly in their presence, to see if they will respond: "How dully, sir!" (In retrospect it seems like an odd turn of phrase, but it felt natural at the time.) They do not react to me, so it still feels like a private thought. I decide to try a little experiment: I silently will one of the DCs to say these words aloud for me. Without a moment's hesitation, he pipes up to his companion: "How dully, sir!"

This was so successful that I'm encouraged to try again with the second guy. Mischievously, I select the same words that the SmarKu used earlier. Sure enough, the guy says out of nowhere, "A pimp and a whore." At this point I go right up to him and ask, "What do you mean by that?" I expect him to be confused or uncertain about why he said it, but instead he starts explaining himself. This is really unexpected: he is taking responsibility for the phrase as though saying it were his own idea! All I could think was... so DCs rely on dream logic? I... guess that makes sense.

There is a destabilization, and before my eyes I watch the environment fluctuate from brilliant light and clarity to hazy vagueness. I suspect this is due to my own lack of mental focus, slipping too close to wakefulness again, and I tell myself that I don't have to wake up if I don't want to. Back in my bedroom, I maintain dreamstate through a rough patch by singing again and focusing on sensual impressions. As I sing, it feels like my voice is joined by invisible others, singing with me in harmony. This reminds me of my lucid dare—from last year—which I've never quite completed to my satisfaction.

I go back outside, willing it to be stable. I frame my arms around empty air as though around an unseen person and dance, hoping the invisible owner of one of the voices will manifest. No such luck. I notice a DC standing nearby, a middle-aged black man, and ask him, "Have you seen an elf around here?"

"Yes," he replies. Okay, I realize I might have willed him to say that using my new trick, but if it conditions my expectations into manifesting the damn elf, it will have been worth it.

"Who?" I inquire further, a specific name in mind.

"Thranduil," he says promptly, just as I anticipated.

"Where is he?" I don't have an answer to this one, so I'm hoping he'll say something helpful.

He points behind me. "Right over there."

I turn and look, hoping my expectations are primed enough that he will be visible. Afraid not. As I squint into the distance, the man explains helpfully, "You can just barely see him, in the edge of the forest."

I still don't see him but I'll take his word for it. The man goes on, "If you hurry, you might be able to catch him. The best way is to go left up those stairs."

I follow his instructions, wondering I should summon a horse to cover the ground faster, but I don't want to add unnecessary complexity and figure that on horseback is not the best way to climb stairs anyway. The stairs are very rustic and appealing, constructed of irregularly cut slabs of old grey stone, with small plants growing out of the cracks, and a low stone wall on either side. They turn to the right and continue to ascend. I'm climbing as fast as I can and observe that either the steps are getting smaller or I'm getting bigger, because now I'm covering at least a dozen with each stride, but I'm still only halfway to the forest's edge when I wake up and sense that the dream state is unrecoverable.

(The dream is a "Mix." I don't know where it started and where it ended.)

I was in a forest-like area where there are people gathering. It turned out to be a gathering of humanoid birds. They look very human except that they have feathers and wings.

I was watching a guy (who looks like Nara Shikamaru) and a short... bird-doll-like person hiding. Shikamaru had to hide under a.. horse? He put on a wing-like object behind him so he won't be seen. He blended nicely. The other person became a female humanoid bird. The (real) humanoid birds (or birdlike humans) were male.

The (real) humanoid birds spread out in a circle and missed them, then they started moving counter-clockwise with their eyes closed. Shika and the other person thought it's safe to walk away now, but somehow, one of the bird-people bumped into the female bird-person. The male bird-person kissed her (eyes closed?). Female-bird person probably thought it was Shika and kissed back (eyes closed?) and then realized it wasn't. The resulting commotion brought the rest of the bird-people's attention and they opened their eyes.

Somehow, the two were just knocked out and thrown somewhere. I watched them dumped near a broken bridge (or else the bridge is still being built). It was starting to rain, so the head of the bird-people left them some cover. The "female bird-person" is now the doll-like creature again. I guess it's an ability.

It turned out that they were doing a mating ritual, where a group of bird-people (all male?) go out in a faraway area and form the circle we saw, moving slowly at first and then flying away in a bigger and bigger circle (eyes closed). I don't know when but when they finally open their eyes, the first person (other race?) they saw will be their mate. On the other hand, the two idiots were there for revenge against the race. In a battle where the bird-people were involved, one of the doll-person's friends was killed. I don't know how.

Next thing I know I was watching them walk on the bridge. It was a bridge for a super highway. It looks unfinished rather than ruined. I think they're still just building it. They walked and jumped over gaps while talking about a naive boy who died. He's a friend of theirs. He died young. One of them said maybe it's for the better. With his naive mindset, he would have died anyway. The other one said he would have been there to protect him. I thought of a gift.

I was under one of the super-highway bridges. There was water down there. I think I was on a motorboat, but I wasn't the one driving. I was just directing it somehow. I thought of making a game but that I don't have the system for it, especially if I want to make 3-D games. The surrounding area looked like some place in EDSA (the part between Guadalupe and Taft, at least), but instead of the EDSA Avenue, there were water everywhere. The buildings are still there though.

I directed the boat to a huge gate that opened. I thought of confronting a dragon. I was then inside a "dungeon" or a dungeon-like area: small corridor, small entryways, like in the old first-person D&D computer games. Someone was with me. Gerard (from PKPH). He suddenly bumped into the entryway of the dragon's hoard and he's inside. He shot flames towards us. The "door" was wooden and so I said it wouldn't hold for long. I jumped back and towards the edge of the "balcony." I hung on there so I can avoid the explosion of the door and the flames. Below that, there's an old arena of sorts, like where gladiators fight. Gerard was still up there, thinking the door would hold. It didn't. When the door was about to blown to bits, he jumped down and landed on the arena floor. I climbed down instead. I couldn't yet jump from a higher place and land safely.

The dragon flew down on us. It has a smaller body compared to its head. Its skin was dried-lava red. The body size was human like, the wings were wide, and the head probably the length of its body. It's "young." We disoriented it (I think) by moving around. Finally, I thought somehow that it has just... 20 HP? Other PKPH peeps were there. We ganged up on the dragon. We held onto its limbs and huge head. I bit down on its arm/leg. Finally, somebody used a sword to slit its throat, its blood splashing. I caught the splashing blood on my mouth. Nobody else wanted to. This was a human cursed to become a dragon, not a real dragon. Drinking its blood meant carrying his curse. It meant I was going to turn into a dragon. I was already starting to feel the flame inside me and the others pointed out that I might "explode" after seeing the inside of my mouth light up from the flame.

There was a part in the dream where I was playing something like a tic-tac-toe or a board game, except it looked like a fractal-floor-board game. Players jumped from "boxes" drawn on the floor. There were enemies, goblin-like creatures. Water area.



(photo of New Bay Bridge)

---

NOTES:

- No, I wasn't lucid.
- It's an afternoon. 3-6 p.m.
- I went to sleep after drinking paracetamol coz I wasn't feeling well.
- I thought of putting up an alarm but decided against it because it might distract me from remembering my dream.
- Kinda sad that the next dragon I dreamed of was an enemy. At least this time I was going to become a dragon.

2/1/2015
Non-lucid
2:00PM Sunday nap
I'm talking to Ivy via Facebook.
"I really want to meet you. " I tell her. She says, "Yes, I know. Do you know Robbie?"
"Yes."
"Good. I'll be coming to his newest show."
"You will?! I'm going to be there!"
"Then, we'll be able to meet. When you see me, please call me Jeneane."
"I can't wait to meet you, Jeneane!"
Then, I'm in a dark room, with a window on the closed door. Two people are talking on the other side.
The room looks like it's outside, but I know it's inside. There's a campfire burning on the floor. Trees are growing out of the ground. Some stumps serve as benches. This is where Robbie's play will be!
I decide to walk through the trees to get out. I only walk a few steps before noticing how dark it is ahead of me. I get scared. I get a feeling that if I walk any further, something will happen to me. I yell "Hey guys!" The two outside look in through the window. "Open the door! Let me out!" They shake their heads.
The scene changes. I'm at the beach, on a dock. Below me, someone is projecting 'Finding Nemo' into the water, so it looks like they're swimming right in front of me. I walk off the dock and see a woman in a lounge chair.
Then, I wake up.

Pretty cool dream, I would've liked to have remembered more of it but I only remembered this much after I'd been thinking about it for a while. I actually didn't think I'd dreamt of anything but luckily the memories hit me like a bag of bricks and I scrambled for my journal to write as much as I could.

Non-Lucid
Questioning
Lucid

I am in a huge park with my mum, we're in a group of people and are hiking to the top of a mountian. I am talking to her about different things and I suddenly notice there seems to be a guide at the front. He seems quite un-realistically muscular and dressed like a boy scout leader/park ranger. He is wearing a beige shirt with an orange neck tie with the same beige colour shorts. The guide is also wearing what looks like a ten-gallon hat. As I stop looking at the guide, we reach the top of the mountain. He hands me an empty potato sack and tells me to slide down the mountain. I look where he's telling me to go and it seems quite dense with vegetation with a couple rocks to the side. Regardless I listen to him and prepare myself to slide down.

Memory Gap

I am now at the bottom of the mountain and my mum is behind me again even though she didn't go down with me. I see the entrance to the park and see that there is a booth where people are being given wristbands to allow access. I look at my own wrist and see that I didn't have one, I begin to wonder how I even got into the park without a wristband but dismiss the thought as I want to focus on getting past the booth without being caught. I begin to act like I have a wristband and as I walk past the booth I see two girls roughly my age in there, one has straight brown hair and the other has blonde, curly hair. They are both quite attractive, however I hear some of my friends, they are in a carpark that is completely covered in red/orange gravel. They seem to be playing a more violent form of soccer/football so I decide to join them.

Memory Gap

My friends start leaving and I want to go back into the park now. I start walking towards the gate and on my way I look to my right and see part of a fence that has been completely torn off for some reason I got the slightest hint that I was dreaming because of the fence but once again I wanted to focus on reentering the park without any trouble. I enter a group of people that have their wristbands, catch one last look of the two girls and enter the park once again before the dream fades.

One of my longer dreams actually, even though I forgot some chunks of it. One part I would've like to have remembered was the slide down the mountain. Shame that I forgot about it but at least I didn't totally forget the whole thing. I get the feeling that I've seen the brown haired girl before in my first lucid dream now that I look back on it, she was the one that told me to move carefully otherwise I would wake up. Could she be my dream guide? That would be pretty cool. I'm also beginning to notice that I am questioning dreams more, however I seem to get rid of the thought, I'm not sure why but maybe It's something I need help with.

- Have my second Lucid Dream.
- Have a conversation with a DC.
- Fly.
- Find my Dream Guide.

Added another goal, If that girl is my dream guide I would love to tick that off the box of goals that I have, maybe she can help me.

I completely forgot to post this yesterday as I was quite busy with different things. I have another dream coming after this as I had another one last night as well.

Non-Lucid
Questioning
Lucid

I was lost in a dark forest in the middle of the night. I wasn't too worried about being lost as I was just looking around. The forest itself was made up completely of pine trees and the ground was really muddy where I was walking. I made my way ot of the forest when I saw the headlights of a small truck. I saw a DC standing near the truck and I asked him if he could help me get home. He shrugged at me before saying something and driving away. There was a house nearby with a light on the front porch and I saw a robot which looked like a crash test dunmy walking towards me. It told me that it would assist me to find my way home. The scene then changed to a constrcution site/quarry and I was getting really annoyed with the robot for not helping me at all. The robot was immediatley hostile and told me it would slit my stomach open . I started running and the scene changed again to my dad's study where I slammed the door shut and held it. He didn't seem to mind much and told me to hold the door shut otherwise the robot would get me, I suddenly lost my grib on the door and scrambled to get it back before the robot burst in with a knife and started slashing at my stomach. I felt the cuts but was slightly confused when they didn't hurt in the slightest. I continued to wonder about this before I woke up.

Pretty weird one, it was creepy but didn't scare me as much as I thought it would so I'm not going to class this as a nightmare. A real change of pace to the beautiful scenes that I've had for the past few nights but that doesn't really bother me, at least I'm dreaming.

- Have my2nd Lucid Dream.
- Have a converstation with a DC.
- Fly.

December 30, 2015

---

I've Gotten Soft

I was a wolf, and was worried that I'd gotten soft, because I was hanging out with a bear and a beaver. But then some bad human was scheming something; he wanted to catch the animals where I lived by laying traps for them.

I switched to being the beaver or some other small mammal, and warned the wolf that what the bad human brought to our home was going to seem like it was a good thing, but was actually going to destroy our world... But the wolf smelled some pot pies on an island across the river from where we stood. I think we had been on a railroad track, right next to the opening of a tunnel. When we got to the small island with the pot pies on it though, we started pulling weeds because we wanted the place to be beautiful. This somehow foiled the bad human's plans, and he was moaning and grieving back on the train tracks.




I woke up from this random and short dream, but wasn't ready to get up yet, so I tried to fall back asleep. I usually have my best dreams at these moments... I wasn't disappointed. I had this dream next:

Beach Fun

I was on a beach with my family. My brothers and I were playing a sort of shooting game, where we had to see how close to shooting each other we could get without actually hitting each other. The guns suddenly turned into those nerf dart guns after a squabble where I apparently shot too fast consecutively. My little brother shot me and the dart stuck right to my chest. Then I shot my big brother three times; in the arm, the neck, and the hip.

After our battle, we all wanted to go for a walk along the shore. But we had a lot of stuff out with us, so we had to go take it to the car so it would be safe. The car was all the way at the back of the parking lot though, so we had to walk a ways. Dad said he would bring the car around after the first load of stuff, so that we wouldn't have to walk so far next time. I spotted an open parking spot much closer to the beach, and suggested we just move the car there.

On the way to the car, I looked into the woods to my left and noticed huge giraffe replicas. I'm talking like seven-story building tall giraffes. There were maybe 6 or 8 of them, all posed as if walking to the beach to our right. They looked just like real giraffes, just much bigger. To my right, there were some large pelican statues. One of them had its wings out as if beating them to scare enemies away. For some reason my big brother then hatched out of a giant egg near the pelican statues. I was a bit confused, but he seemed to think it was totally normal. We crossed a small pedestrian bridge that was more like a large log over the water, and the ground shook momentarily. I looked up and saw the neck of one of the large giraffes moving. I was scared that they were coming to life and were going to smoosh us, but they didn't. It looked at me, then moved back to its original position and everything stopped moving again...

At this point, my consciousness was slightly shifted; I was The Doctor, but I was still me. If that makes sense. I looked in the woods to the left again, and saw about five Tardises. I blinked, and they were gone. I was very excited, because another Tardis meant there might be another Time Lord than me! My family all went back to the beach area, and I snuck back out to the woods to find the other Time Lords. It was dark now, and when I saw the 5 of them again, I was so exstatic. I wasn't alone! But as I drew nearer, they started morphing from blue Police Call boxes into red Phone Boothes, and I paniced. They all started randomly phasing in and out of Tardis, and never seemed to stay as a Tardis by the time I reached them.

I finally managed to catch one of them as it was blue, but then Emma Stone walked out of it and the sound of flushing came to my mind. They were all just porta-potties, and I'd just been too excited. Emma was drunk as all get out, though. She was stumbling and looked like she was going to vomit again. I helped her get to her cabin, only about fifty feet from the potty. Her mom was inside, and they both thanked me so much and almost worshipped me for some reason. They invited me to a festival that was happening the next day, but I was already going with my family, so I declined.

Flash forward to my family and I leaving the spot on the beach again. My mom and I are in Yukatas, and we are headed for the festival. The parking lot was lined with all sorts of stalls, and my mom wanted to take pictures of me all over the place. But I couldn't see any of the giant giraffes anymore. This made me suspect I was dreaming, so I looked down to my hands, and noticed I had an extra pinky finger on my right hand. I was dreaming!

I wanted to set off a firework, which was perfect, because I was at a festival. There were usually fireworks at these things, right? I looked behind a few stalls, because that's where I thought they would have fireworks stored for later. After a few stalls, I found a stash. I grabbed some of the biggest ones, and stuffed them into the folds on my Yukata. Normally, they shouldn't have had any business fitting, but it was a dream. Yukatas are apparently like a Tardis; bigger on the inside.

I decided to wander for a bit, and noticed something fishy about the trees all around me. I shuffled behind a bush, and inspected the bases of the trees. They turned out to be made of metal. The trunks were cut into strips at the bases, and then bent outwards slightly to create a slight fanning out. It was kind of beautiful, in a way. I appreciated the artistry and patience of whoever could have created a whole forest of metal trees that looked so real.

I wanted to set off the fireworks now, but it was still light. I closed my eyes and willed it to get dark, envisioning the sun setting. When I opened my eyes, it was still light, but when I looked through the metal branches and leaves of the trees above me, I could see the sun moving fast through the sky. In about 20 seconds it was sunset. The sun slowed a bit, and the sunset lasted a few minutes, it was beautiful, but the trees blocked a lot of the colors. Soon, it was dark enough for fireworks.

I hopped on over to the beach, flying through a small path in the woods that lead to the water. I stuck the fireworks in the sand near the water (but not close enough for them to get wet), and realized I had no matches. I could have tried sticking my hand in my pocket... But I wanted to try it Roy Mustang style. I went back to the tree-line, and snapped my finger a couple times, expecting there to be fire when I did. It took a few tries. When I was confident I could summon the flames this way, I aimed and snapped a bolt of fire at the fuses for the rockets. It worked, and this made me want to try other things with fire...

(Backstory required here... When I was a kid, two of my friends and I would spend our time creating elaborate fantasy worlds in which we each controlled an element and ruled over a kingdom. I ruled over fire, and even made a whole story back this world. Anyways, I wanted to try some of the things "I" could do in this fantasy world of mine)

I wanted to try making a disc of fire that I could stand on. I'd spent so long thinking about how these things worked while writing the story, so I just did what I had imagined many times already, and it worked pretty well. It was familiar and nostalgic. I held out my hands and there it was. I moved it up, down, side to side a bit before stepping onto it.

But I remembered the fuses on the fireworks just as they went off. I also wanted to follow the firework so I could watch from the inside, so I shot off after it. I'm not sure if I was flying with the flame disc or if I'd just left it hovering there. I caught up to the firework, and then it went off, and it was so cool. It wasn't so much firework-looking as just flashes of color blinding everything else out of my vision. It lasted a lot longer than a normal firework. There was a sort of pinkish orangish background haze around me, and lots of lines of colors shooting out from where my feet were. Some shimmers and sparkles, too.

When it was over, I just hovered in the air for a bit. I was a little dazed, and felt the dream destabilizing, so I tried rubbing my hands together. I've never tried that to keep a dream, so I wasn't sure how well it would work. I just then remembered a dare I'd seen for anyone. I wanted to get into those dares. The only one I could think of, which randomly popped into my head then, was to fall from a height without slowing down, or something like that. Something about hitting the ground at full speed.

The dream was a little fuzzy, but the rubbing was helping a little bit, so I darted over a bit so I would be above the sand, and not the water like I was right then, and hovered for a bit. This took a lot of mental preparation for me; falling is maybe my biggest fear, and it's that way because of a dream I had when I was little... So even though it was a dream, I still felt scared and in danger. I had my hands balled into fists, so I decided that the signal to fall would be un-clenching my hands and spreading my fingers... but the dream destabilized again and I woke up.

Morning of December 23, 2014. Tuesday.



Even though this is vaguely related to the recurring (and assuming fictional) Enchanted Forest setting, it is not as defined as usual and seems to be in a different location.

My family and I stop near a forest during, I think, an extensive shopping trip or other outing. We are still fairly close to the main part of town. The forest is still quite dense and supposedly isolated (internally), though. It seems to be around late morning. Although I am not sure of directional orientation, the forest remains mostly to my right from wherever we were walking from.

After a short time, I notice an unusual-looking light gray “mouse” with very short fur and scurrying about at the edge of the outer perimeter and in and out of clusters of dead leaves. I watch it for awhile. It may actually be a vole, which I consider for a short time. I pick it up briefly but let it go again. For some reason, a vole seems more “wild” or “exotic” (as well as “rare”) than an “ordinary” wild mouse.

Later on, a toddler appears from deeper within the forest. Even though she is only about three, she somehow seems to have been living there alone most of her life. This seems a bit odd, so we decide to take her with us as we do more shopping.

Later, however, a younger male wearing glasses, who reminds me of someone I only saw once several years ago in public while he was carrying his daughter with a very annoyed look on his face while entering a men’s room at a drive-in theater, makes an appearance near the parking lot of a mall. He is very angry that we took his child from the woods. Apparently, she was supposed to be there on her own for a time as he and his wife were doing shopping (I do not think it was punishment). His wife is with him but he does most of the complaining. They take the child with them after a few conversations about leaving a toddler alone in an isolated area (which seem to “reset” and repeat - there are a couple times when I am thinking “jungle”, even saying it once or twice, but then change it to “forest” since I have doubt that there is a jungle nearby).

For some reason, he does not think it strange to leave an infant or toddler on their own in a forest for a long time, as it seems she had been there for weeks according to the conversation. It seems my wife and I are very inconsiderate to have “rescued” his daughter in light of what we thought we were doing. (It vaguely reminds me of a real-life scenario years ago where my wife informed another mother that her young daughter was handling mothballs at a secondhand bookstore and was possibly about to eat a couple - the mother acted more annoyed at my wife for informing her in a timely manner than about the situation itself, and there was a similar event where a toddler was running around in her backyard on her own with large sharp scissors where the mother became angry with my wife instead of having any concern for the child).

This still seems wrong to me, though my family and I resume our activities after I punch him in the face several times, knocking him over each time. He seems mostly uninjured and unwavering in his beliefs.

This dream followed thoughts that have always greatly puzzled me nearly my entire life on how it is possible for toddlers to disappear or have fatal accidents in settings where there is apparently no adult around anywhere. This is even more of a puzzle since I have had extensive experience with a large family for quite some time (thus it certainly is not a question of a lack of perspective or role which many would probably use as an excuse regarding my opinion) and it has never been that difficult to care for family members and be aware of their safety. I still do not know how it is possible other than a bizarre lack of attention or awareness on the part of parents or guardians (when a child somehow wanders off), which does not even seem possible to me other than the parents simply forgetting they have children for a time. I suppose this sounds strange coming from someone who had a near-fatal accident themselves when not quite two years of age. I guess I was a quick climber and I do not blame either parent in this case.

The girl in my dream vaguely reminds me of a real-life situation where we saw two female toddlers walking around in our front yard at about two in the morning and they were hanging around near our front steps as if lost. The parents were inside their house, possibly drunk or sleeping. A large dog was with them as if the parents thought that a dog somehow had human perspective and “responsibility” and would viably babysit their kids.

Pulling trees out of the ground, I magically turn them into boards and make a huge pile of them several hundred feet behind me. I plan to build a bunch of things, so I need lots of them. Still leaving some trees in the forest, I quickly gather more than I need just in case I get carried away with construction. Just moving my awareness around, I don't have a visible body, but still manage to physically interact with the world, and rip trees out of the ground just fine. It's easy to float to and fro as I do this.

Riding my bicycle up a really beautiful hill through a summer meadow, the road continues into a cool forest tunnel, thick with trees and vegetation. I go a few hundred feet into it, then turn around to zoom down the road really fast on my bike. I go too fast, and can't stay on the road. Trying not to crash, I go into the meadow off to my right, and bounce to a stop before walking back to the road to continue on. Lots of fun!

I reach home at the bottom of the hill, and feel a sharp poke on my hand. I look and there are several small spiders on me, apparently biting me. My hand and upper arm start to go numb, followed by my shoulder. They seem to have a powerful venom, so I try to brush them off without killing them so they stop biting me. As soon as I brush them off, I notice more on me. Using a soft leaf, I brush those off as well.

Now that I appear to be spider free, I prepare to take a shower. Suddenly, I am covered with the little spiders, and also a single other bug, not very large, but with a painful bite. It is very strong, and I can't brush this one off. I have to pinch my skin together and grab it to remove it from my arm. Tossing it aside, it runs really fast. Not sure if it is going to get me again, I am quickly distracted by the several hundred tiny venomous spiders all over my arms and legs. I also feel something on my back but can't see it.

Trying to get all the spiders off harmlessly, as they bite me, I flinch a little, and probably hurt a few of them. It takes me a while, but I manage to get all of them off that I can see, and quickly get in the shower to the relative safety of the running water. I suspect that when I veered off into the meadow, I picked up all those spiders on me somehow.