All DJ Entries

Ritual: WTB 3am, woke several times before and after dawn but didn't WBTB, woke around 9:30am and put vibrating alarm on wrist, set for 24 minutes. Woke up too soon, before it went off, reset it. Next cycle effective.

EILD: I feel the pulse of the alarm on my left wrist, waking me, but remember to lay very still and see if I can maintain dream state. I experimentally move my hands and arms and from the sinuous and unimpeded sense of motion I'm convinced this is working, that I'm moving the dream body and not the physical one. I know I have to be careful not to overdo it and actually engage real motor functions, so I spend some time almost "dancing" in place with my arms, writhing them bonelessly like a snake dance, until I have enough sense of engagement with the dream body that I risk rolling out of bed. I can't walk yet: I can barely crawl over the rug. I know I need to engage the environment, so I stare at the carpet, noticing the texture of the pile. I'm pleased when I spot a piece of random detritus under my dresser, because something unexpected means the dreamstate is gaining momentum. To gain traction I focus on physical sensations, running my hands over the carpet and even bending lower to rub my cheek against it. Even though I've done this many times before I'm still impressed with the vividness of the sensation, it feels so scratchy and real.

When I feel sufficiently engaged with my dream body, I manage to stand upright and walk. I easily recall my plan to work on memory—carefully though! I don't want to actually wake myself up. Trying to remember where I went to sleep seems unnecessary, as I still haven't left the bedroom. What about the date? I'm pretty sure it's February... I don't want to think harder to get the precise date lest that efffort wake me. (It's worth nothing that I usually have to think just as hard to remember the calendar date in WL. Usually I just look at my phone because it's easier.)

I start walking through the hall toward the kitchen. What other memory should I try to access? I know, what have I been reading lately? I'm pretty sure I came up with the correct general impression, but even as I write this, details of my waking life knowledge of this topic are corrupting and crowding out the dream recollections to the point where it is hard to be sure how specific my answer was. At any rate, in the dream I felt satisfied with my level of memory access and moved on.

As I entered the kitchen I noticed something peculiar: even though I was in a very accurate mental model of my house and had a strong access to waking recollection, and had even managed to access WL memory without disrupting the dream state, it had not in the least improved it either. I had a good sense of tactility (I find that the easiest sense to maintain), but as so often in early WILDs (which this effectively was though induced by EILD technique), my vision was still extremely poor. The haziness was mitigated by the fact that I was in a dream version of my house, as I almost am at the start of dreams of this type, so I "knew" what was around me and that knowledge could help make up for the lack of visual clarity. Perhaps that is partly why my mind instinctively frames such dreams in this way, in addition to the straightforward logical continuity of entering the dream from a mental model of the same place I went to sleep. It moreover suggests that from the start of WILDs I always instinctively remember where my WL body is sleeping, even if I am not paying deliberate attention to the fact.

I wondered if concentrating would clean up my vision but there was no improvement— it's too bad I didn't think of Fryingman's awesome technique, which I only read about last night, of "taking off the blurry glasses." I figured I should try to clean it up in the usual way, interacting with the dreamstate until it naturally clarified and brightened. Meanwhile, I thought about the other tasks I had been planning. Most important was the elusive forest. After many tries fruitlessly trying to reach it on foot, I decided that I need to stop chasing it, since I seem to be encountering a mental block, and instead will it to manifest around me. I also remembered another task that I've been wanting to try for ages but never managed to think of when dreaming (so maybe this memory trick is working after all?) My idea was to see if I could "play" my WoW character, a Forsaken, and explore the Undercity. I murmur her name aloud, but decide to save that for another time—right now my main goal is to work on the forest.

I stand squarely in my kitchen and start to visualize myself surrounded by trees. There is a tall houseplant to my right with feathery foliage: it must be the little potted tree I used for Christmas, a Norfolk pine. I reach out and grasp its soft needles with my right hand, thinking this will help focus my thoughts on the forest I am attempting to conjure. Intriguingly, I fail to notice the spatial discrepancy: although the real tree is only a few feet from where I dreamed it, in WL it is now outside on the patio rather than inside the house.

Unfortunately, this is as close as I get to manifesting anything like a forest before my husband comes into the room. I figure he'll just ignore me because I am dreaming—and oddly I make the assumption, as I seem so often to do in the dreamstate, that I am encountering the real-life version of him even though I know I am dreaming. Maybe it is this tendency that makes some people interpret dreams so closely modeled on RL spaces as "OBEs". But I am thrown into confusion when my husband looks right at me and starts talking. What does it mean? How can he possibly see me? Could I have been wrong in my conviction that so-called "OBEs" are a naive misinterpretation of certain kinds of LDs; might I really be "projecting" an image of myself into the waking world? This still doesn't seem plausible, but the only alternative I can think of is that I am actually awake. (Note the dream logic: despite the generally high level of memory access and mental function in this dream, I completely fail to consider the most likely— and as it turns out correct—alternative, that the encounter with my husband is nothing more than a projection of my dreaming imagination.)

So am I awake or dreaming? I'm not sure anymore. It feels like a dream, and I'm still not seeing my environment very clearly, but maybe I'm still groggy and bleary from having just gotten up. How could I be confused about this, though? Although there are plenty of times that I'm fully convinced I'm awake and turn out to have been dreaming, not once have I ever been fully convinced I was dreaming and turned to be awake. It doesn't occur to me to try any of the typical RCs, but I focus my attention inward, on my sense of bodily awareness, to try to figure this out. I've often noticed that my dream body is characterized by a peculiar kind of inward vibration radiating from the area of my solar plexus—this impression used to be very strong and distinct, especially when flying, but it has become much less noticeable as I've grown more experienced. I think I can sense it now but it is very faint.

My husband is still talking, and although I am too perplexed to follow what he is saying, he seems to be complaining about some bad habit of mine. "...twenty-one times a day," he concludes. Apparently that's how often I do the thing that has been annoying him. Does it have something to do with my dream practice?

The encounter has now totally disrupted my concentration on the forest task, so I turn around and approach the patio door, thinking I'll just go outside. The weather looks lovely, cloudy and wet. "Hey, it's raining," I comment aloud, and anticipate how nice it will be to feel the cool water on my skin. I start to take off my sweater so I'll have something dry to put on when I come back in (it doesn't occur to me how odd it is that I'm wearing a sweater if I supposedly just got out of bed) and pull open the door.

"Don't, we have to leave," warns my husband. I recall (correctly) that he wanted us to go out on an errand today, but even if I am somehow actually awake, it must still be mid-morning. I assumed we were going in the afternoon, why would he want to leave so early? With these thoughts the dream is finally disrupted and I wake up.

Note: On the way to my laptop to write things down, I remember the silent alarm still on my wrist and look at the time. It reads 20:42, and it was set for intervals of 24 minutes, which means the whole dream played out in just under three and a half minutes. Of course, then it took an hour and a half to fully record, which is maybe why it's a good thing I don't LD every night, lol.

He's My Husband.

Dream:
I was in a beauty pageant and police officers were the judges. The judges were doing the contestants interview sessions and while he was interviewing me he was eating dinner. He offered me dinner and I thought that if I did not take his offer, he would disqualify me. So I ate dinner with him while trying to answer his interview questions. When he finished eating I made sure to finish eating everything on my plate also (btw, we were eating cheeseburgers...which I have not had a cheeseburger in years...one of many missed dream signs). When the interview was over he was getting ready to leave and another contestant came in dressed in a bikini and gave the officer a long wet kissed and looked directly at me. I said, "What the hell?!" and she said, "It's ok, he's my husband." Then I woke up.

Dream - Lucid

My grandpa was still alive, but he knew he didn't have much time left. I was with him, my mom, and my aunt Marge, though I feel as if there were more people there too. They were all very sad about him dying, but he was at peace with it, and was trying to make the most of his last moments.

I was then somewhere else, though the situation had not changed. I opened a door, and saw my grandpa sitting in a chair at the head of a table. His hair appeared different than it ever was IWL, with streaks of red, some blonde and maybe brown as well, though the red is what I really remember. I then caught a quick glimpse of my mom and aunt, who were sad and not wanting him to go. I feel like they were asking him, pleading with him not to die. He looked at peace.

My aunt Marge closed to door. I wasn't supposed to be there for some reason.

~

I was at my old job, which was a department store. It was nighttime. I was in the building with a few other associates.

I was over by the women's fitting rooms, when I saw some lava leaking from a crack that it had caused in the wall. I remember going back to it a little later, and more was coming out. I started trying to cover it with clothing, but, of course, the clothing just caught fire and burned up. I felt as if we were trapped.

I then had another idea. I went to another fitting room with another associate, and we started looking for fire retardant clothing. We looked through lots of packaged pajama sets that normally the store receives around Christmas. I went through lots of red ones. Then, a supervisor, Charles, came up to us.
"Those aren't going to work," he said.
I imagined the fitting rooms slowly filling with lava.

Someone went back in the fitting rooms a little later to get something, and I was surprised when they came back out, because some time had passed, and I figured it was filled with lava by now.

Then, I was close to the front of the store by the doors, when Ashley, another associate and my IWL friend, came back in. I asked her if there was a way out, and she said no, there wasn't. I imagined it outside, us surrounded by lava or erupting volcanoes. I knew we were doomed to die in the building. We all knew.

I then approached Jaime, a manager, and asked her if she had anything strong we could take. If we were gonna die slowly, may as well not be able to feel anything. She took a silver package of these big pills out of her purse. They were Percoset, a strong pain killer (never taken them IWL). She gave one to me, one to Ashley, and took one for herself. The pill was wrapped in another piece of plastic besides the silver packaging, but it was supposed to dissolve when you took it. I put it in my mouth to swallow it. It immediately tasted very bitter. I tried to swallow it, but it was such a big pill, it was proving to be difficult. I really wanted the bitter taste out of my mouth. Before I swallowed it, I already started to feel the effects of the pill. I figured it was a fast-acting pill for those who were in major pain. I remember Jaime chewing her pill. I didn't understand how she could stand the bitter taste.

I woke up for a little bit, then went back to sleep, entering the same dream.

The pill was in full effect now, and I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked down at the tiled floor, and the designs on the white floor tiles appeared to be oscillating. Yeah, definitely feeling the pill. I stood up, and then, even though I did not feel the need to pee, I kept peeing. I peed a lot.

~

I was at the department store I used to work at again, setting up some display on the endcap of a register. It was almost Christmastime. I thought to myself that it seemed so soon for Christmas; it felt as if we had just had it. I remembered the year prior with my husband, who was then my fiance. It seemed like just yesterday.

Then, Ashley walked by. She was wearing a black maxi skirt that was slightly sheer, but only at the legs, and a black top. She said
"It's been a year, and I'm going to be possessive of you, _____, and _____." I can't remember what else she said besides me.
Apparently, Ashley was my wife. She had some issues about Christmas; something about the holiday made her feel insecure. I understood this, and was not upset by it. I just wanted her to be happy. I "remembered" kissing her, and thought about how I never thought I would marry a woman, and how my family never saw it coming either. But I loved Ashley; she was my wife.

I then "remembered" driving to see her the prior year on Christmas, and taking pictures of the road on my way and sending them to her. I remember one in particular of the interstate in front of me. I was in the far left lane, and there was a metal chain-link fence on the divider. I think a semi-truck was also in the picture.

~

I was walking through a city in the daytime. It was sunny out. It reminded me of a video game. I was with my husband, Dallas. The objective of the real-life game was to kill the governor. I had a shotgun on me.

Dallas and I split up at some point. I was walking the streets alone, searching for the governor. I feel like I encountered some people and talked to them, but I can't quite recall. I noticed my husband's absence, and wondered where he was.

I then approached a building and entered it. It was a library. I was standing in the huge foyer. There was a service desk in front of me, and behind it, glass windows looking into a room with computers and books. The floors were dark wood, and the lighting was sort of a "mood" lighting, not too dim but just right. Immediately, I recognized this library as one from a dream I had years ago, and knew I was dreaming. The dream quality instantly started to suffer, so I concentrated on my hands so as not to lose lucidity. My hands were changing as I looked at them, turning into baby hands and sprouting extra fingers. I walked as I kept focus on them, and the dream seemed to stabalize.

I approached a young, tall, skinny girl standing at a podium. She looked to be in her early teens, and had dark hair pulled back into a ponytail.
"What's your name?" I inquired.
"Jaime," she responded.
"Jaime, are you a real person, or are you part of my mind?"
"Part of your mind," she responded with a smile. As she said this, she stepped out from behind the podium.

I then went somewhere else, up some stairs I believe, and into a very crowded hallway with a balcony overlooking the foyer. It was circular and stretched around the edges of the room. I approached a blonde boy, probably about the same age as Jaime, and found out his name was Josh. He didn't really seem happy. He reminded me of someone I met IWL at my old job. He had the same name as well. He looked similar too, though much younger. I was having trouble getting him to look at me in the eye. I took his shoulders in my hands and said something to him, though I can't remember what. I was trying to get him to see something.

I then was not sure what else to do with my lucidity. I didn't feel like I had much more time. I could not remember any goals I had prior to falling asleep. So I decided to do something I actually haven't done in a long time in my dreams: Fly. I took a running start, and people started to look, telling their friends to look because I was going to fly. I ran up and down the hallway a few times before I decided a running start wasn't the best way for me to do this. I leaned over the balcony. I saw all the people across from me on the other side of the hallway, and everyone below me in the foyer. I wasn't sure about this, since I had not done it in so long, but I let myself fall from the balcony. I then flew. Everyone was cheering me on. I was going very fast, however, and felt out of control of my speed, though I could rise and fall when I pleased; when I thought about going higher, I would, and when I thought about going lower, I would. I was just going so fast...

The cheers then started to slow way down, like when a record is slowed down. I had an FA in my bed. I kept my eyes closed for awhile, but finally decided to get up out of bed, because I was hearing what sounded like someone peeing, or water trickling into water. When I went to get up, however, I noticed that my feet were already touching the floor, as if I was half standing, and half laying down in my sleep. I got all the way up and walked down the hallway. I noticed my husband standing in the guest bathroom doorway. The lights were off in there. That's odd, I thought he went to work. I got closer and noticed his shorts were pulled down, and he was peeing. Is he sleep peeing?

Upon getting closer, I noticed he was peeing in my cat's water dish! My cat, Belle, was just standing there too, watching. I started getting really pissed at him (no pun intended), and yelled at him for doing that. I know that he and my cat don't really get along, but seriously?? I started yelling at him to stop, and asking him how he would feel if someone peed in his water. He said something smart-assy back to me. As I was raging, he started to walk away into the kitchen, which was much, much bigger than our IWL kitchen, which actually brought me to lucidity for a second, but I was so angry that I lost the lucidity in my rage. I noticed that the kitchen had chopped up potatoes all over it; the counters and every surface were covered. I knew he had done this just to spite me. I asked him if he was going to clean it up, and he shook his head no. I was so fucking angry. I went into the guest room, which also looked much different, and tried to slam the door, but the coat rack on the top prevented me from doing so (this does happen IWL). Ugh, I was so angry!

Then I woke up for real.

~

Ugh, I can't believe I couldn't remember what I wanted to do with my lucidity. Maybe another night. I'll just keep incubating my ideas, and hope that they come through into my dreams. Glad for the lucidity though! Woot woot!!

06/26/14

8am

non-lucid

At a pet store with my husband. We came across this screen that lets you interact with a parrot. I would then find the actual parrot is behind the right corner of the shelf the screen is on.

I get separated from my husband and then catch up with him at the aquariums. This is a recoccuring dream setting. Inside a long, horizontal tank we see mini tanks for mini fish, like a mini clown fish. We discuss getting one. I also see normal sized clown fish inside the tank. We walk to the other side of the tank and come across the shark tanks. I avoid looking and run when it comes to the great whites. I wonder what would happen if the tanks broke.

We leave through this door that leads to an elevator. Another guy is also there. It starts lowering and then I realize we're lowering into the great white tank.

lucid

I feel my paralyzed body and debate changing the scene and trying to accomplish my dream plan of going to Japan. But I know I have to get up for work since I've slept in, so I choose to wake up.

Reflections: I knew I could lucid dream, I just didn't have enough time unfortunately. But I think this is a great improvement. I actually had choice and was calm once finding out I was paralyzed. Usually when paralysis enters in, I try to wake myself up right away.

10pm (I went to bed early feeling tired and feverish so already had recall)

My husband called me to a conference call at his office to try to work out a problem he thought I had with one of his coworkers. The coworker started defending himself saying he had no clue I had a problem with him. I replied that this because I have no problem with him whatsoever, and my husband misunderstood. As I was leaving the conference room, I said that of course part of the reason why I have no problem with him has to do with the fact that I do not actually know him at all, and he agreed.

Still in my husband's office, in the office kitchen: I first randomly give a female stranger a backrub from behind. Then it's as if I forgot that this female stranger is there and I definitely forgot about rubbing her, and I start thoroughly massaging my husband. He is fully clothed but on the floor in a way and I give him a full back massage while squatted on top of him. Very sensual.

Only then do I remember the female stranger coworker, and that we were blocking her way out of the kitchen and forcing her to watch. I appologize to her. She says, no problem, and that she wishes she had watched me chew out Alexandro. I figure Alexandro must have been the male coworker in the conference room who I had no problem with. It occurs to me that he did not look like an Alexandro, looked very WASP. I explain to the coworker that there was no chewing out involved.

Fragment: I was in a waiting room of a doctor's office explaining why I was there. I do not recall why. I had the sense though in the dream that I had been waiting for a long time and had given the same explanation many times before. Later in same dream I was trying to help the doctor not to be lost: I was telling him that the reason he could not find an office number was because the address was from before his practice moved to another building, but he would not listen to me, and just kept going and looking.

I had this dream this evening about cheating on my husband. We recently got married a month ago on the 12th, and his dream really disturbs me. The dream starts where I'm with my family and my husband at this Summerhome. There are a few other people there that are not related to my family, and I have no idea why they were there. We're standing outside talking about something when I see this little girl and her father. Something I was talking about caught his attention, and we start arguing because he thinks he knows more about the subject than I do. I start saying how I definitely know more about the subject because I've had three years of classes on it and since it's been a while since I've had the classes, I have had years and years of experience on the matter. He asked me if that is true, and when my mother backed me up he seemed impressed. We start getting along a lot better after this and his young daughter and I become quick friends. We hang out throughout the rest of the day and things keep happening that needed me to resolve them and he seems like he is becoming more and more impressed with me. Suddenly, he gets serious and asked if he can see me inside alone to talk with me. His daughters watching like she's really excited and knows what's going to happen, and I follow him out of curiosity wondering what's going on. We go into a room where he stops and admits to me that he is falling in love with me. I realize that I'm falling for him too, and he becomes very happy that he has finally found someone that he could be with after his wife passed away. That's when I realize something: I can't be with him because I am married. He can tell that I have become incredibly sad and asked me what's wrong. I show him the ring on my finger and tell him that I am married. He seems taken aback and becomes upset telling me that should not have let him on. I did nothing of the sort! I was hanging out with him with every intention of just being friends and he was the one he was interpreting something out of nothing. We go our separate ways, but I cannot take my mind off of him. I suddenly become very sad that I had to be married and cannot be with him and realize that I may like him more than my husband. This thought upsets me because I'm very deeply in love with my husband, and henceforth become very confused about everything. I start wondering to myself why me and this man can't have an affair? He seems much too honorable for something like that, but I keep wishing he will come to me and tell me that he wants that. I go back outside when my husband arrives From wherever he was beforehand. We walk around, hanging out, all the while realizing that the guy who likes me is watching me from a distance. I realize that the only reason I am hanging out with my husband is because I feel obligated to. We go into a room and start talking when the man enters because he needed to get something out of that room. My husband starts talking with him, because he's just one of those people that likes to be friends with everybody. The entire time me and this man are looking at each other with heavy intensity and I suddenly send my husband out of the room to get something for me that I know will take him a while to get. As soon as he leaves, the man and I start making out until my husband returns. He said he could not find what I wanted and continues the conversation with the man. I start talking to my husband to distract him from the looks that I'm giving the man which indicate that I want him and me to have an affair. The man nods and I realize that it would be hard because we live so far apart but it can still be done, and I get him to give me his number without my husband knowing. I feel incredibly rotten about everything thats been going on and the arguments with myself inside my head never seem to cease. suddenly, my husband wants to go to the park and the other guy asks to come along, so we take separate cars and start driving to the park. When we get there we meet an old dream ex of mine. She keeps talking about her lingering feelings for me and the only thing I have to say to her is I don't know who you are over and over again. My husband is becoming upset that she's there when suddenly she sees the look that the man is giving me. She asks me if the man and I are seeing each other, and of course I deny it, but she keeps insisting so intently that finally everything becomes revealed. She gets upset and leaves and I realize that my husband now knows everything. I am so ashamed of myself that I can't even turn to look at him, but I know that he looks very betrayed. The man, seeing how I treated my ex so badly, decides that he doesn't want anything to do with me. So him and my husband get into their cars and leave me stranded at the park. I don't know how I got back, because I'm suddenly back at the Summerhome, but I got the feeling my mom picked me up. I am incredibly upset realizing how much of an idiot I was and that the only reason I wanted to be with the man was because I wanted to be a mother to his daughter and felt sorry for her being so young to have lost her mother, and that I should never have tried to cheat on my husband, when I see his mother sitting down against the wall looking at an iPad. I ask her if she knows where he is and my mom says that he went to one of my old hometowns and is going to live with another woman who has the same name as me. I ask if he is going to be involved with her and she says no, the woman already has a boyfriend. I feel relieved but then I suddenly become very intent on getting a hold of him and ask his mother if she has had any progress finding him. She says not yet and I start freaking out, screaming find him! She smiles and says that she has found a number that she believes is his and calls it, handing me the phone. Somebody answers and I realize that it is him. I say his name and he suddenly becomes very hurt sounding and says he does not want to talk to me. The rest of the dream is me begging him over the phone to forgive me and trying to explain to him the situation, when I wake up. I become incredibly relieved that it was all a dream, but this really confuses me because I know I would never ever do this in real life and I'm wondering why I had this dream.

Date: 10/22/2013
Technique: MILD & WBTB (failed WILD)
Total Sleep Time: 8 1/2 (ish) hours
MILD Mantra: "I lucid dream tonight" & "I recognize I'm dreaming"

Dream 1
I was with my ex-boss and we were shopping for vintage designer handbags. I saw what looked like a black hefty bag on the floor filled with vintage Gucci bags. I crawled on the floor and retrieved a beautiful blue vintage Gucci shoulder bag. I ran to show my ex-boss who turned around and told me that she was wearing that exact bag at this very moment except her handbag was 'authentic' and mine was a fake. Sure enough, she had the authentic Gucci handbag on her shoulder (she has always been jealous of me ).

Dream 2
I was fishing with my husband and the rest of our family and I was doing very well catching several fish. I remember how real it felt with the fish nibbling on the bait and me yanking the fishing pole to hook the fish and reel it in. Soon, we ran out of bait and started using anything available and the fish were still biting. We were still catching a lot of fish and I told my husband that the next time we go fishing I would like us to go by ourselves and spend the entire weekend with just us fishing (I have always loved to fish ).

Date: September 6, 2013
Method: MILD & WBTB (WILD Failed)
Total Sleep: 8ish

Dream 1:

I was in a reality TV show and I was with a married couple who continued to ask me something along the lines of how to stay happily married. The couple are in the music industry and are very popular on TV right now. The husband is a big time music executive and the wife is a singer and they are trying to decide if they should start a family by having a baby. I had to really thing about this question because I didn't know the answer and I went over and over in my head how I didn't know anyone who was happily married. The married couple continued to just stare at me (along with the television cameras) as they eagerly awaited an answer that I never gave them.

Dream 2:

I was dreaming that I was in Nursing school and I was really having a hard time with my finances. I was a full time student with a lot of responsibilities and I had to make a decision on whether to quite school or ask my mother if I can move back in with her. I made the decision to just move back in with my mother and I hated it. She was constantly on my ass about doing things (?) and I began to realized that maybe I mad e a mistake and should have just continued to live on my own and struggle with school instead of living back home with my mother.

Dream (or FA?):

Dreamed I was writing in my dream journal all the dreams I had dreamt the previous night and I had written down many of them. I was overly excited because I had many lucids and I wanted to see if I had broken my own record. When it came down to the counting part…I didn't know how to count! I kept starting all over trying to remember what came after 1, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember. After about 2 or 3 tries, I gave up on concentrating on my numbers and somehow woke myself up and realized it was all a dream and I hadn't any lucids at all.

Dream Frag:

I was looking at buying a house and I could only choose from three homes that I had seen (I had just watched "House Hunters" before I went to bed).

Dream Frag:

Soemthing about me being in a heated argument with my husband...

September 1, 2013
Technique: MILD & WBTB
Total sleep hours: Not enough!

Fraggle:

All I can remember is that my husband and niece (baby) was wanting me to do something and I wouldn't do it or I didn't understand how to do it.

Date: August 19, 2013
Method: MILD & WBTB (hoping for a DILD)
Total Hours of Sleep: around 8-9

Dreamed I was eating at a very fancy restaurant. and I ordered the food and after a long wait, the food still hasn't arrived. Our waitress does come to our table, but she says we have to pay a small portion of our bill now before we will be able to get our food. We argued with the waitress, but was so hungry, we paid $25.00 up front hoping that this will help in hurrying up with our dinner. The waitress came to our table shortly after paying, but she did not come with food. Instead, the waitress had a Louis Vuitton umbrella and said that we can have that for the time being (this dream sign went right past me!). I'm not sure if the umbrella was edible, but I raised holy hell to the waitress demanding our food. The waitress was adamant about keeping the umbrella and assured us that the umbrella was a Louis Vuitton (instead of ensuring us the food was coming). I started arguing with my date, but the more I tried to rationalize with him, the angrier he got with me. I couldn't understand why he was mad at me? He was just yelling and yelling...and then I woke up.

When I woke up, I heard people yelling and realized the yelling I heard in my dream was really my husband yelling at my son about the trash not being taken out this morning! I hopped out of bed and asked them what the f*ck is going on in here! Both of them looked at me like I was crazy and told me they didn't mean to wake me up with their yelling and for me to go back to sleep. Damn them!

I remember this was a long dream. I remember there were several rounds of it, and it was kind of repetitive but not exact repetition. It was all about me loosing my sons over and over again. It was always either entirely or at least partially my fault, and sometimes also someone else's.

I don't remember all rounds, but in the last iteration the boys were playing somewhere in a grassy area of a city street, and my car was parked nearby with the motor running and key in ignition. A woman who in my dream was the mother of some friends of my kids, but in reality is an unknown, she started chatting with me, and she then went behind the wheel of my car and I got in the passenger seat, and she suggested that we go for a short ride while we chat, and leave the kids here, but come back to them, and I agreed. After we had been driving for a while, she realized she could not easily drive back - I think it was because of one way streets that prevented us from driving back the way we came, and the streets were not in a straight grid like many streets around where I actually live, but they were more curved and complex, more like the streets of old European cities. So in my dream the woman abandoned me or just disappeared. I abandoned my car, and started walking back to find my sons. It took a long time. Eventually I found them. They looked worse for wear, a bit dirty and dischevled, like they had been living on the street for a while. They were delighted to see me, and I them. And just when I found them, my husband found all of us to. I had no idea how he found us because I had not contacted him, and he had no way of knowing that the boys had been missing nor where we were. I had the sense that my husband was reproachful about my loosing our kids, and he had every right to be, because it was my fault.

This dream is reminiscent of a few previous dreams of mine, in which I am also lost, also with a car, and my husband in at least one of them also finds me, and I don't know how. And I also have feelings of guilt in at least one of them.

(COPIED FROM WORKBOOK)
Date: August 6, 2013
Method: WBTB & MILD (WILD)
Total hours of sleep time: 6 hours (WBTB 1 hour)

Well, I have a lot to talk about so let's get to the good stuff!

I went to bed at my usual time of 12:00am and I have to get up to fix breakfast and wake the kids. After getting everything done and the last child out of the house, I looked at the clock frustrated because I just knew I couldn't count this as a good WBTB method. According to what I have read on DV, I should not do to much activity during WBTB and I should try to be silent and keep the lights dim. Well, with this being the first week of school, this morning my house was grand central station ! I was up cooking, waking up people, shouting that the bus was coming and every damn thing...sigh!


When everyone was out the door, I looked at the clock and realized a whole hour had passed. As I turned off the lights and got back in the bed, I said to myself, "You have done far to much to count this as a WBTB, no way are you going to become lucid now...chalk this up as another loss." However, my inner self told me to continue to say my mantra and just get a few minutes of sleep (It was 7:11am and I had to be up in an hour to get ready for work).

This is when the magic happened!

It seemed like mere seconds before I noticed that I was standing in front of my door screaming at my kids telling them the bus was coming. I had my hand on the couch which is in the living room by the front door, but I noticed that the couch was in a different position on the other side of the living room. Instinct (and I mean pure instinct) prompted me to do a RC. I told myself to levitate...AND I DID!!! That's when I felt the vibrations, and I knew I was lucid! I'm am not good at my dream control, so I told myself to calm down and the next thing I knew, I was back in my bed. I stayed still and played sleep and like magic again...I was back in the living room! "Oh GOD, please tell me what to do!" I thought as I just floated there. I remembered that I wanted to gain some dream control so I started to touch the living room wall by the front door. As I was looking at the wall and the front door, I thought it would be fun to see if I can go through the wall...AND I DID!!! As I was going through the wall, I'm not 100% sure, but I think I saw like lights? sparks? flashes? Hard to explain, but also, as I want through the wall, it felt gooey . I did come out on the other side of the wall to my front yard and then I faded to the dark again and was back in my bed.

Well, you know my method for this by now DV, I laid still in my bed and DEILD my way back out of myself. This time, I was in a different scenery, but it was still my house. Everything was not quite right, so I knew I had to do something, or I would be back in my physical body again. So I'm standing there and my husband is just looking at me. He says, "Aren't you suppose to do something?" I look at him strangely, but for the life of me I couldn't think of what I was suppose to do (once I woke up, I realized for the TOTM, I was suppose to ask a DC what is the meaning of life? )! I stood there wondering what my husband was talking about and I realized I was losing my lucidity by getting wrapped up in my husband, so immediately, I refocused my attention on getting out of there! For some strange reason, one thing I can always remember is trying to teleport to Egypt and that is exactly what I tried to do.

Canis Lucidis told me to close my eyes and imagine Egypt down to the very last detail. I closed my eyes (tight) and kept thinking about how Egypt looked with the pyramids and the sand (kinda how it looks when I watch the Discovery Channel or National Geographic). I kept repeating these images in my mind and then I began to hear music, or people singing (this isn't the first time I have heard beautiful music while lucid, but every time I wake up, I can't remember the music or the songs)? Slowly I open my eyes and the first thing I see (hard to explain) is like a wavy image (you know how you look in the distance and it is really hot and you can see the heat waves?). The image clears up and I hear people say that Pharoh is a crook. I look down and a child is telling me to follow him (he looks like my God son in RL, but now he is my God son in Ancient times, his clothes are rags also). So I follow him. He stops by men that are working and building something and they are wearing tattered clothes and they look like prisoners. One of them looks like he is eating something and he gives him some of his sandwich to eat and the child says thank you. When the child let go of my hand to get the sandwich (I saw bread and meat, so to me, it's a sandwich), a new scene in front of me appears. I look back at the child who is running toward me and I start to walk toward the new scene, but the closer I got to the scene the more the scene moved further away. I guess I began to get too tired of what I just went through, because I faded to the black and opened my eyes to see my clock on my nightstand...7:46am.

I got up and lunged for my journal and wrote down all that I could remember. I have no idea why I am able to WILD in three's, but by the third one, my mental energy is shot!

A Special Thank you

To Canis Lucidis,
Thanks for sending me to Egypt, you (along with all the other facilitators, moderators, members, and friends) are appreciated.

My husband and I arrived at a Taste of ... (Insert name of town) event. (For those of you unfamiliar with this kind of event: it's a way for restaurants to advertise by selling samples of food in an outdoor street feast. Our church collaborates with the Business Improvement organization of our city in organizing one each year. In the case of our event, the proceeds go to a charitable organization.) We arrived but there was no one there other than a couple retirement-age ladies selling tickets. I said to my husband, the crowds must be just confined to in front of the actual booths. That's how it was last year, too. I hate that the good restaurants have a long line, and if one does not want to stand in line as long, the food of those restaurants is much worse."

I started out driving from work toward a bar. I was going to meet a man there I know a bit from work, and don't really know and don't really like on some kind of date or happy hour. But I wanted to call it off, and say another woman would attend in my stead (this is a woman I do not know in real life). I did not know the direction to this bar but was driving there any way, though I did not know where I was going. I was desperately trying to use my phone to either get directions to this bar or to call this man to call it off, confused which.

In mid dream, my husband showed up and he was now in the driver's seat, and he was telling me that I would not be allowed to use my phone or iPad any more because he needed all our data plan for himself. And while I thought this was harsh, I accepted that I deserved it. I had caused the loss of the election - it was all my fault - I felt profound guilt. In the middle of this discussion though where my husband is saying how I lost all my phone privileges, I interrupt him to say that I now have to use my phone to either look up directions to the bar or to call the man I was going to meet to tell him that I am not coming but another woman is coming instead.

Side note: I found the references to my two dreams from June 6th in this dream fascinating. It's like this dream is a continuation and spin off of those dreams:

http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/joan...te-vote-47125/


http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/joan...m-lucid-47126/

I could remember five dreams when I woke up this morning. Five! That's got to be a new record for me!

Anyway, I'm not going to bother writing down all five... if I can even remember them anymore. I'm just going with the one I remember best.

I was playing The Sims 3. I had a pregnant Sim waiting to go up the Duquesne Incline. I was trying to get her husband to come; he was at home, hosting a pool party. I was trying to figure out how to get all the guests to leave so he could go meet his wife. Suddenly, she went into labour. I tried selecting the husband and then clicking on her to get the option for him to take her to the hospital, but that option didn't appear.