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Morning of August 7, 2015. Friday.



This was an atypical extraordinary dream that was quite long and exhausting. I can only relate some scenes as much of it was abstract.

In one part of my dream, my wife Zsuzsanna (though at a much younger age before we met) seemed to be oddly played by the role of a white female; actress Mary Beth McDonough. After a time, she is more like a composite. As most people have learned over time from my extensive online journal, it is ludicrous that anyone other than the dreamer could associate or “interpret” anything in his or her dream. The idea is so preposterous (not to mention disturbing) that I could fill an entire book with how wrong this concept is. In fact, this tiny little facet of just one dream proves that.

No one but me could possibly relate why this dream facet manifested. It is because of one minor association between my wife and Mary Beth McDonough that only I could know, that being the deer symbol. This is because both my wife and her had photographs taken of feeding and petting a deer around the same age, and that is obviously the first thing that comes to mind for me.

No one but me could decode the next scene, either. Over time, I am concerned about this character’s safety. Her “parents” (though they seem completely unfamiliar) talk to me about her future and for a time, it almost seems as if I am the father. The male is dressed as in the painting “My Father Was Big As A Tree” from 1955 and does not remove his hat.

Something happens to where her fake father seems to be causing her trouble or preventing her spiritual growth by preaching some form of skewed Christianity. She sits on the couch with her arms folded much of the time. I begin to develop a special discernment that I cannot call lucidity, because I am not lucid. I tell the male that it is impossible for him to alter the destiny of a master since the patterns exist in the world itself. I become angry.

In this way as if noticing me as who I am for the first time (related to any faux back story), he seems to see me in a different light as I feel, for whatever reason, that I need to protect the actress (who is looking more like my wife-to-be). I feel an exhausting level of energy and blow out towards him as he shouts “Manny! Manny!” to his wife, and he transforms into a butterfly under my will as he escapes through the front open doorway of the unfamiliar residence. I expect him to not make it across the front yard.

“That girl was ta…” (thunder). Police cars take my schoolmate away. I want to live in the sky, away from humanity and those who so effortlessly prey on the innocent without remorse..and all the while playing the victim. I saw the signs and no one ever listened. No one ever does.

From here, I reach down and feel my left leg and notice it has transformed into a deer’s leg and I can clearly feel the foot. It seems very intriguing and vivid and I brush over the fur on my left leg. My wife is herself again and I am once again thankful that no other path would ever have given me life.

I then see myself in a painting where I am separated from humanity by a gulf that will always be reflected in “Alien Child” (as the original artist apparently saw himself). The painting “Alien Child” burns and so does “Hostile Butterflies”.

Only I know…

Started in some sort of room, with my mom and this cute girl. we were playing around traveling through different worlds and I kissed her. We became girlfriend and boyfriend and continued to travel and ended up in a bar. we met two other people in the bar that could use arcana. We all messed around with our powers and when my friends were playing bingo at the bar I used my magic with my pentagram necklace to make it stronger but something backfired and I messed something up, time, or perhaps even myself. I woke up soon after.

Non-lucid

I appeared on a weird looking house, it was full of artefacts and bizarre stuff. I was with my two best friends Ale and Ana Victoria and there was a man who was supposedly a wizard. He wasn't mean to us, he talked to us very politely and happy inviting us to his birthday party but i still had a sense of mistrust.
We went out of the house and encounter a lake, on the middle of the lake was a kind of round boat.
On the boat Laura, a old friend of mine, was discussing something with a guy.
I jumped into the water and started swimming.

Blank space (No memory)

After that i remember entering to other house with the friends i was with at the beginning and encountering a guy who i was in kindergarden, we said hello to him as if we knew him from now and we talked to him. I dont really remember what we talked about but i do remember that he knew a lot of this wizard. We were going to his party, but it was kind of a mission to know if he was evil and to debunk him. The house was weird, it had many rooms, and it was almos a fun house, very magical.
The place had a little "roller coaster car" ride that would take us to the party, so we sat on it and i was on one of the corners. There was a guy who was giving us the tour around the magical house. I remember we passed through a table full of desserts. there was little pink cakes, a jar full of icecream and cake pinchos and other delicious desserts. I started eating and it tasted fantastic. The car started moving and we headed out that room.


Blanck space (No memory)


Now i was standing somewhere with Ale and A.V., we were talking and Ale was telling me that she was now friends with Laura, i started looking for something on a pencils box when Ale told me that Laura said that she wanted to be in the same college major as me. And I just thought "Oh no!"

WOKE UP.

AWAKE/NOTES DREAM SEMI-LUCID LUCID

I did the bonus task of the month! I am actually pretty happy that I was able to accomplish this so quickly. Lately my lucids have been longer and more fun, and actually, this is the forth lucid dream in a row. It took me more than a week to do last month's basic task (and I was too late, haha) but I did this one the night I found out about it. Anyways, I'll stop blabbering.

It is my first day in university. I am sitting at a desk and we are being taught something. We are given lots of money - it is for some work we did - there are multiple 20 dollar notes and some 50 dollar notes and 10 dollar notes.

I am probably still in uni. We were given an assignment. I talk to some girls that are in that room. I think I am semi-lucid at this point. I walk out of that room with some of my friends and I pass a mirror, which I look at. I look completely normal. I try to make my hair shorter in the mirror so I can see how I would look with that haircut. It doesnt work so I just continue walking, losing lucidity.

I am at the shops with my friend who moved to a different city in waking life. It feels like she has been here for at least a week.

Later in the dream, we are at the school library and we are talking about something. We are sitting near the bathrooms. A guy I think saw earlier in the dream walks out of the female bathroom. He apologizes to my friend and I, which confuses me because we weren't the people in the bathroom. He goes into the male bathroom, which is basically a glass box in the middle of the library with some toilets in it and a sink, and I think, he should have used the female bathroom because this is not even a propper bathroom. I realise that weird/unhygenic bathrooms are my dreamsign so I do a reality check, and although the first one fails, I am already lucid so at this point I am just doing reality checks to test them, not the dream.

I walk outside. I see my little brother there and he looks upset. He tells me its because he can't do the assignment we got in universty properly and is going to get into trouble (he is 9 though, and looked that age in that dream so I don't know why he even got that assignment). I tell him not to worry and offer for him to fly with me. He agrees. I grab his hand and we fly off. There is a big pool of water there and we fly above it, almost touching the water. It is a bit hard for me to support both of our weights so I tell him to spread his arm like wings and we both fly around. I lose control a little bit a few times and go into the water, but it is stll fun. I think the dream fades out at one point. I still imagine myself in the water and I look up when I am at the bottom. I swim up. This is either a very faded dream or a vivid daydream. Eventually I am in the dream again. I shout "clarity now!" (a bit quietly though as I don't want to wake everyone up in case I am not fully in the dream and shout in waking life) and everything becomes more clear. I am still near that pool of water. There is a river nearby. It is not very wide - just around 5 meters accross. I remember the TOtM, so I try to waterbend the river. It doesn't work well at all, but I saw that the water wobbled a bit. I try to control a small blob of water and eventually am able to do at least that. This is a bit weird because I was much better at waterbending the other day. I then try to split the water in the river in half and it actually starts to work. I move the two halves away from each other and the right half is now completely gone but there is still some water flowing from the left side. I try to get rid of it, but by the time I almost do, the right half starts coming back. I decide that this is the most I'll be able to do with this river in this dream, but I feel like this was a pretty sad attempt for a bonus task, so I decide to do some fire-bending instead. Behind me are a couple of trees up a small hill, but I dont want this to be a sad attempt too and try to find myself an actual forest. I tell myself that once I fly up, ill see that behind this hill is a big forest. I fly up and see plenty of trees to burn. I land back on the ground. I try summoning a fire in my hand. Nothing happens. I cup my hands and put them together (as if you just caught a flying insect in your hands) and try to summon a fire in there. I opened my hands carefully and saw a tiny, white flame, just a little bigger than a rice-grain floating above my palm. I started making this flame bigger (I doubt that it would have been able to set anything on fire before) and it grows until I have a big fireball around half a meter in diameter. I drag it behnd me as if it is a balloon on a string, setting every tree I pass on fire. After some time, I look around and see that there is no tree around me that isn't burning. I decide that my job here is done and remember the goal I wanted to do after I do the TOtM - get a dream guide.

I fly off. The sun is now setting and the clouds look beautiful. There is a red glow everywhere. Around are what look like buildings being constructed. There is constructon happening over the big pool of water too. For some reason there is a slightly unsettling atmosphere. I fly and see some mordern buildings with apartments. I fly into a room that is empty. I try to spawn a dream guide, a character that I've seen in my past dream. I notice that a person - my clone - is standing on the other side of the room. It is also trying to spawn someone. I tell it that it is an inaccurate clone (it was a bit skinnier than me) but it gets upset and shoves me. I stand there for a few seconds, looking at my clone. I suddenly wake up.

It is almost 6am, which is the time I usually wake up, so I guess that's why I woke up so suddenly.

Ritual: Last night I experimented for the first time with kava kava root (Piper methysticum). I had read many anecdotal reports that it instigated vivid dreams and perhaps even lucidity, so I thought it was worth trying out. I ordered some dried powdered root from an online herb and spice supplier that I trust. I don't have any doubts about the freshness and quality, as the package confirms that it was packed earlier this month and sourced from Vanuatu. I had read many reports of people complaining about the taste, describing it as "muddy," so I was surprised when I opened the package and encountered the most extraordinary and delightful fragrance. The plant is related to pepper, so it made sense that the scent would be peppery, but there was also something delicately floral about it and even a hint of wintergreen.

I had abstained from alcohol all day, since the two should not be consumed together, and my plan was to drink the kava before bed. I had a late dinner, ending at 11pm, so my plan was to give myself two hours to digest, then start drinking the kava at 1am and go to bed a few hours afterward (unless it made me too sleepy before that, which seemed like a distinct possibility). I don't like cold drinks late at night, but I read that you could warm kava gently without destroying its properties, so I adapted a recipe for "Mexican Hot Cocokavachocolate," blending two tablespoons of powdered kava kava (half what the recipe calls for, as I didn't want to overdo it my first time), two tablespoons of cocoa powder, agave syrup, a spoonful of cinnamon, and a generous pinch of cayenne with about two cups of almond milk (I skipped the vanilla extract suggested by the recipe because I didn't want to use even a tiny amount of alcohol). I blended this until it was frothy and then separated it into two mugs, putting one in the fridge—I planned to start with a minimal dose, and work up from there if it felt warranted. The other mug I heated briefly in the microwave, just enough to warm it, and then topped it with a dusting of grated Himalayan salt and freshly made whipped cream.

Okay, I'll admit I have a slightly weird palate (for instance, I *love* the taste of wormwood), but this was one of the most delicious dessert drinks I have ever tried in my life! It was so much better than regular hot chocolate; the spices and kava gave it exceptional depth of flavor and an unusual aftertaste. I didn't even need to strain it: I don't know if my powder was ground unusually finely or if the almond milk held it in suspension better than plain water, but it only added body, not grit, to the concoction.

I'm glad that I had done enough research to anticipate the curiously numbing, analgesic sensation that spread from my mouth all the down my esophagus, because that's the kind of thing that would really worry you if you didn't know it was supposed to happen! I sipped the kava very slowly over the next hour or so, to make sure my stomach didn't have any problems with this new experience. Everything was fine, and the onset of bodily relaxation came quickly, though my mind remained clear. After the first mug I felt like it would be fine to drink the second one I had reserved, so I slowly consumed that too. Despite the heavy feeling in my body, it never did make me drowsy, so I played SWTOR until 3:30am and then read DV and some LD books to prep for bed, retiring at 4:30am. I should note that I never felt any trace of euphoria, either, an effect that some had noted. That didn't bother me, though: my only interest was in enhancing my dreams.

Unfortunately, in that respect, the kava kava was a total bust. It was no different from any ordinary night of crappy dreaming: I was vaguely aware of dreaming most of the night, but my recall was terrible and what details I could specify were mostly mundane day residue. There was no sense of complex overarching plots, just lots of little random scenarios. Lots of people have written that kava helped them sleep more deeply and wake refreshed, but I didn't experience that either: I woke three times in the first several hours of sleep, which is typical, except that I felt much groggier than usual during those brief wakeful periods. At 9:00am I woke up and felt so unpleasantly lethargic, mentally as well as phsyically, and the dreaming had been so disappointing, that I decided to try to clear my head with an ample dose of piracetam. That stuff is amazing: to preserve its efficacy I save it for special occasions, but it always works really well to clear up any "brain fog."

Within fifteen minutes I was feeling complete mental clarity, so I decided to turn it into a proper WBTB. I added some L-theanine, alpha-GPC and bacopa and returned to bed using WILD technique. My focus was still subpar and I couldn't count effectively, so I initially fell into non-lucid sleep, but gradually became more aware of the dream as it progressed. There was no "aha" moment of lucidity, but I was definitely lucid by the end.

In conclusion, the kava kava didn't seem to improve my dreaming in the slightest, but at least it didn't suppress it either. If anything helped me get lucid, I believe it was the piracetam and other supplements I took at WBTB, because those I've had success with many times before. My recall was poor for most of the night, and even after waking up from the LD only the last scene was initially clear; recollection of the earlier incidents revived only after I started tracing back the course of events.

DILD, "Creating a Cat": I was hanging out with a friend, JM, and her young son. [DR: yesterday I had seen a picture of this kid that she had posted on Facebook.] The little boy was telling us a story about a butterfly who took care of him in the place he used to be. It sounded like he was talking about before he was born, and this reminded me of a book I had learned about last night, about a project to compile and investigate accounts of young children who claim to have memories of past lives. [DR: Jim B. Tucker, Return to Life, 2015.] After I mentioned the book to my friend, she told me about the time she took her son to an island off the coast of Wales (the named started with a 'T', something like "Tirnagal" or "Tiriagal") and he had started talking about how he used to live there. As she describes this, suddenly we both turn and stare as we hear the boy start speaking another language with the somber intonations of an adult. I have no idea what Welsh sounds like, but what the boy is saying definitely has the structures of a formal language—it is not just childish babble. The experience is so uncanny that I feel the hairs on my arms rise. Before I leave, I say to my friend, "The only thing I regret about not having a kid is the way it can sometimes provide unexpected insights into the human experience." [DR: This comment might also have been inspired by something I was reading last night, on p.163 of The Ego Tunnel, by Thomas Metzinger (2009), where he describes a toddler who falls and looks to his mother for social cues about how to emotionally react.]

I leave my friend's apartment and go outside. Now I'm on a beach. This is one of my most distinctive and common dream signs, despite the fact that I have little interest in beaches in WL and rarely visit them. I think it is related to the tide, a phenomenon that has always unsettled me. Despite the frequency and distinctiveness of this dream sign, for some reason it is one that I always have trouble recognizing as such. On this occasion I already have some degree of dream-awareness, but I lack awareness of that awareness, the metacognition that is characteristic of true lucidity.

As I'm walking along the beach, the sand looks soft and warm and comfortable, and I can't resist the temptation to lie down in it. Initially I am lying on my stomach, but then I roll onto my back, and feel as cozy as a kid making snow angels. I pause to reflect, why do you never hear of kids making sand angels? My comfort is soon disturbed by rippling in the sand... I notice that the whole beach is now billowing and subsiding, the dunes rolling like great waves. "Is it supposed to do that?" I vaguely wonder, and then a particularly large dune threatens to bury me, forcing me back on my feet to keep my balance. Though not quite lucid at this point, I have instinctive awareness of my mastery and control in this environment: I find it easy to "surf" these sand waves as they roll by underfoot. But they are getting even bigger, and I have the impression that the water is now rising rapidly as well, so I decide to find higher ground.

At the edge of the beach I find a stairwell leading up into a building. Getting into it takes some creative climbing, as there are various panels of transparent plexiglass serving as barriers, but I manage to circumvent them and get inside. The stairs emerge into the center of a dim, semi-industrial space, with narrow walkways on all four sides surrounding the wide pit formed by the stairwell in the middle of the room. No sooner have I gotten my bearings than a round hatch covering the end of a large pipe poking through the wall opens, and a humanoid creature crawls out. It is gollum-like, with huge bulging eyes. I don't want to be spotted, so I hold still and focus on being invisible. I feel a moment of relief as the creature initially descends the stairs, but it comes back promptly joined by a second person, a male human. As they approach the spot where I'm standing, I retreat into a corner to avoid them: even if they can't see me, they might blunder into me by accident if I'm not careful. On the bright side, having to strategize in this tense situation is improving my lucid awareness.

I reflect that my "invisibility" is just a mind trick: I am willing the DCs not to see me, and from their lack of reaction I assume it is working, but I can still see my own body plainly. This bothers me—at this point I'm a fairly experienced dreamer, so shouldn't I be able to dispense with a body? I've had no dearth of NLDs where I'm just a disembodied perspective, so surely I should be able to accomplish the same thing in my LDs. I decide to try to eliminate my dream body.

My body does obediently disappear from my field of vision, but the trouble is I still *feel* like I'm in a human body, with two legs, two arms, and two eyes located frontally in my head. If I have really transcended the body, I should no longer feel like I am mapped onto a human being. I conclude that I should begin subverting the pattern, and my first attempt is to try to shift my visual apparatus to floor level. This seems like it should be a fairly easy, basic task, but I find that I have trouble with it, maybe because I get caught up in questions like, well, if I'm not seeing out of physical eyes, then shouldn't my vision be even more radically different—unconstrained by frontality, for instance?

Meanwhile the man and gollum-like creature disappear into a side door, still apparently oblivious to my presence. I retrace my steps to the top of the stairs and examine the hatch that the latter had crawled out of. I consider going in there to explore, but decide that from the look of the creature and the size of the hatch, it will probably just be a cramped and uncomfortable network of tunnels. Instead I decide to follow the two through the side door.

I find myself in a large, open exhibition space with various vendors and booths. I pause for a moment to wonder why spaces like this are so common in my dreams. I don't know if this was a product of false memory or else better access to dream memory than I have in waking life, because at the time I was under the impression that I encountered such rooms on a regular basis; now that I'm awake I don't feel like they're especially common. At first I was just wandering around with no specific purpose, when it occurred to me that I shouldn't waste this opportunity to work on some tasks. There are a ton of things on my docket, but nothing especially pressing, so I thought over a few possibilities and decided to work on my Ars Magica forms and techniques—the other day I printed out the whole list of combinations and decided I should make it a long-term goal to try out all of them eventually.

I recalled that "creo animál" was the first one on my list that I had not tried, so I started intoning, "Creo animál!" I lengthened the syllables in a resonant voice, putting emphasis on the first syllable of "creo" and the last syllable of "animál." I repeated the invocation a few times in this manner, staring at an empty patch of floor. I didn't have a clear idea in mind of what kind of animal I wanted to create, but I thought I could leave that open for the dream to surprise me. However, nothing was happening. I thought perhaps I needed some raw materials, so I telekinetically lifted a nearby booth (hoping this wouldn't be too much inconvenience to the vendor) and pulled it into the space where I was working, then focused on compacting its form and shape into something suitable to my purpose. It folded itself up obediently until it was much smaller. However, I felt like I needed to impose a pattern on it since the dream wasn't responding with anything, so I arbitrarily chose the form of a cat. People started gathering around to watch the show as the booth finished its transformation, and now there was a short-haired black and white cat sitting stiffly on the floor. [In retrospect, the technique was closer to "muto" than "creo," since I adapted existing material rather than conjuring it from thin air.]

The newly-created cat was not moving, and did not seem capable of movement; it was like an empty shell of a cat, a living doll. This made sense, since I had created the body but not endowed it with sentience: I concluded that this would require a separate effect. Luckily this concurred with another task I needed to work on. "Creo mentem," I said, directing my words at the cat, and this time the effect resolved quickly: now the cat seemed to be capable of moving and perceiving its environment.

I wondered if "mentem" alone was sufficient: wouldn't that create something with the bland mental workings of a robot? Wouldn't I need to add "imáginem" to endow it with emotions and imagination, the "spark of life"? I wasn't sure, but I thought I'd better throw that in for good measure, so I intoned "Creo imáginem," focusing on giving the creature the capacity for emotions and inner life. Immediately I had doubts about whether this was wise. I don't know if my doubts were caused by the cat's behavior or if the cat's behavior was conditioned by my doubts, but whichever it was, the creature did not look pleased. It was lashing its tail in the way cats do when they're annoyed, and its face was contorted into a savage snarl. I wondered if throwing in "imáginem" had been overkill—emotions are not always pleasant, after all, and a creature so unexpectedly brought into existence might well be feeling upset and disoriented. Plus, I didn't even know if "imáginem," was necessary for a complete being; perhaps sentience was sufficiently specified by "mentem." [Consulting the Ars Magica rulebook now, I see that I misremembered the scope of of the Form: "imáginem" deals with sensations and illusions, not emotions and imagination. Though actually that makes the whole Form seem superfluous to the dreamstate, where there is no obvious difference between creating a thing and creating an illusion of that thing.]

I knelt down to have a closer look at my creation, and felt even more disturbed. There was something awful and abject about its face, a wound or rot-like distortion of its jaw that left the teeth clearly visible through its cheek. [DR: I realize this might also be day residue, because recently I was reading articles about the so-called "zombie cat" which came with graphic pictures of a similarly disfigured animal.] I decided that I should try to understand what this cat was experiencing, so I said, "Intéllego animál." I felt impressions of fear and rage coming from the poor creature, and guiltily realized that I must have screwed up somehow. It made it even worse that it was a cat, a kind of animal for which I feel a great love and sympathy.



With a sweeping gesture I willed all the effects I had invoked to disperse, effectively uncreating the cat. I didn't have a clear visual sense of the result (did the body simply disappear or did the vendor's booth revert to its former shape? I'm not sure), but at least I felt that the spell had ended. I looked up at the spectators who had been watching the whole event and sheepishly apologized: "It didn't want to be a cat. I'm sorry. It just didn't work out."

One woman spoke up in reply. Her words were uttered very calmly and slowly, emphasizing each of the adjectives, and I felt like she was subtly criticizing my actions: "People want to be fair, and dominating, and controlling, and diverting."

Non-lucid
12:30-2:30PM nap
I'm with Mackenzie, in what I feel is her house, but isn't her house in the awake world. WE're going to have a movie watching party together, but we need to get everything set up first. She gestures me to come with her into the basement. I happily do so. "Grab that plastic bag, please, Alex" she points to it before picking something else up. I nod and pick up the large plastic bag, which seems to be filled with dodgeballs, but I don't look inside it. We walk back to the stairs to go back up when something fuzzy and tickly rubs me in my armpit, where I'm holding the plastic bag to me on my hip. I shudder and say "Mackenzie! Something touched me!" with my voice full of worry and fear.
"Don't worry! It's fine, you're fine, Alex." she smiles. I blow off the event as me having imagined something. We walk upstairs, but once we get through the door, my curiosity overcomes me and I look in the bag. There are indeed dodgeballs in there, what a huge hairy spider which seems to be covered in baby spiders! I shriek and drop the bag, spiders and dodgeballs running and rolling on the floor in every which way.
"Oh Alex..." Mackenzie sounds disappointed in me. "I'm sorry!" I tell her.
We both walk to the living room, where her father is sitting on the couch, waiting. I sprawl on the couch too, as Mackenzie puts in a movie, and then she joins us.
The scene changes.
I'm at a small restaurant with my mother. Aubrey Plaza, and Jeff H and his kids are sitting with us. It has a swimming pool out back. I'm texting Aubrey before our food gets here. Jeff's kids are behaving themselves, talking to each other, playing little games like patty cake and tic-tac-toe on the paper menus. It begins to rain very hard outside. The restaurant begins to flood! First it's ankle deep... then knee deep... then neck deep. Then, it floods almost to the very ceiling, where I'm now floating! There's still enough room for me to breathe, but nobody else seems to have noticed it. All of the tables and chairs are stuck firmly to the floor, and everybody is sitting and eating and talking. The waitress is walking around like nothing is happening. I swim down to everyone, holding my breath, and gesture to outside. Then the water level starts to slowly decrease. In no time I'm on the floor. Then, I'm outside, on a raft in the pool. It starts to flood again, but it isn't raining anymore. The pool's water increases and gets choppy. Soon the water gets very wild, and I hold onto the raft as hard as I can, but I'm quickly headed for the edge of the pool. I look behind me and a massive wave towers above me, putting me in its shadow. "No!" I yell, not wanting to be thrown into the water. "NO!" I yell again as the wave crashes, and the raft is pushed forcefully into the edge of the pool wall, but I go flying without it.
I flop in the water, then tumble on the ground as the water disappears, until I land in the parking lot, completely dry and bruised and tired. A family; a mother, a teenage boy and a teenage girl are getting into their minivan. I hop in too, believing I'm invisible and magical. We drive for a while, nobody paying my any attention because I'm invisible, until we get to the theater. It's gotten dark outside now. I go "Woo!" and clap my hands together once to teleport myself. Nothing happens. Except, now the teenagers are looking at me. Oh. I'm not invisible. I was never invisible. "Mom, stop the car!" the teenage boy says. I'm now starting to panic and the moment she stops the car, I run out, and all of the rest join me to see what I'll do.
Another car stops nearby and a lady gets out and walks down, saying, "Now what's going on here?!"
I jump around, trying to fly away, but I can't. I give up quickly. The family gets in their car and drives away, as if they didn't want to be seen with me. The other lady, luckily, didn't see me doing that. I follow her to her car quietly, and get into her passenger side. She looks over at me and shrugs. "Will you take me back to that restaurant?" I ask "It's not very far." She nods, starts the car, and begins driving that way.
Then, I wake up.

Morning of February 25, 2015. Wednesday.



In my dream, I am at an unknown location (though likely in Australia as some of my wife’s relatives are there). It is an enormous room (with many smaller rooms connected to it, some office-like) that is like some sort of setup for a business seminar - seemingly, at least in part, related to advertising slogans, television commercials, and catchphrases. My wife’s oldest half-sister is there, seemingly annoyed by my presence. Several times, I transform the implications of what is being said in the particular presented slogan (usually using the same number of syllables and phonemes) into my opinion of people in the region. I do not recall all the changes I make, but one contains the word “backwards” which indicates the people are backwards in my view. Later, my wife’s oldest half-sister gets up and makes an announcement about me, most of what she says being nonsense. For some reason, she says (with contempt) that I am a Mormon - and makes other ludicrous comments.

Meanwhile, my wife is in another room, doing some sort of questionable and tiresome work she does not like at all but is totally passive to it for possibly a corrupt business or local government, relative to filling out forms or making detailed lists of other people (recurring dream plot). The oppressive authority of the business people over other people’s lives seems exaggerated in-dream, though in reality, it really is not much different in my experience. I decide that my wife and I will leave even though she is still to do more for at least two businessmen. I decide that I will protect her from this endeavor and the thoughtless intrusive older businessmen who act as if they own her or as if she “owes” them anything.

Over time, though I am not lucid, I take on an essence that supposedly represents Gitchi Manitou and I am in tribal dress at times, with numerous abilities (teleportation, flight, pyrokinesis, infinite physical strength, etc). I even say “I am Manitou” while hovering near crowds in an urban area. During the time when the seminar part of my dream shifts, I focus and cause many of the windows to explode outward and I then fly through one of the large broken windows with my wife.

Eventually, it turns out that I have an enemy. It is a powerful being in the form of an albino male with jagged teeth and solely hostile intentions, though he is somewhat jester-like in appearance and dress at times. The subplot of the two businessmen also becomes dominant at times. I end up threatening them, teleporting them, and holding them over an area near a cliff until they stop trying to get my wife to finish certain forms and lists.

My albino enemy is intent on destroying me, but we are about equally matched in power for the most part. Clusters of knives fly at me but I reverse their path and they cut through him though do not hurt him (solely because they are his - an in-dream folly, of course). We fight in several different scenes near areas in a city and around crowds of people. Over time, I do seem to maintain an advantage. I also sing and chant loudly and rhythmically at some points, as I fly and float around (mostly in standing or partly diagonally forward positions), feeling very strong and aware. Over time, I apparently weaken my enemy more and more.

Later on, my dream seems to shift into indicating a long passage of time had gone by. I am hovering inside a shopping mall, still having flown around a bit with my family. I see my enemy walking in the hall. When I speak to him, he calmly says “I’m a mortal now”. He no longer has any power or threatening presence and works in a carnival. He also has no interest in fighting me even at a human level anymore. Strangely enough (though I am uncertain of my motive), I offer to give him some of his power back. He seems a bit irritated that I would do this (rather than thankful - but then he had always wanted to eliminate me), but soon accepts. We even have a long friendly conversation, sharing information about our ancestry.

Later, there is a carnival set up in an empty parking lot near a large shopping mall where he is going to perform magic tricks. Three random girls are chosen from the large audience. He has them stand in a triangular formation. Shortly, one is struck by several bolts of scattered lightning (the farthest one back at the point or “triangle top”), the one on the left in front is pounded relentlessly by “compressed” rain that only falls in the area she is standing, and the one on the right is fatally sunburned with visible sunbeams in her area only. All of them die almost immediately while screaming in pain. This does not impress me, especially as most of the audience just sits around as if nothing has happened rather than trying to escape this lunatic “magician”. I calmly take my wife to another outside area of the mall closer to the entrance and we sit and share romantic conversation and closeness as I continue to hear people shriek in the background, just around the corner of where we are sitting. It does not seem to bother me at all.

Morning of February 16, 2015. Monday.



My dream has two main sections and is very long. It begins at a different version of our older home on Stadcor Street in Wavell Heights. However, our house is built directly over the ground (instead of up on stumps) and has a dirt floor, which does not trigger the fact that I am dreaming. I notice a large garden in our living room growing directly from the “floor”. They are large-leafed vine-like plants; possibly cantaloupes. Over time, however, I want to make our house more like a modern home and have our garden outside. It seems somewhat frustrating to me though I do notice sheets of vinyl and carpet over some areas of the dirt floor in different rooms, but only covering about half the area. This combination of vinyl or carpet over a dirt floor seems more aggravating than just having a dirt floor throughout.

Zsuzsanna comes in and tells me that she is going to visit an older lady that she knew when she was younger. Before visiting her, she decides to become fifteen years old again so there will not be any confusion as to who she is, as the older lady will recognize her more easily. This does not at all seem unusual to me but I start to worry about her as she leaves on her bicycle - the one she apparently had at that time when she knew this person - and “calls it into existence” as such again. Instead of this scene triggering lucidity, I instead eventually decide that I will catch up to her to make sure she stays safe. Of course, to do this, I take to the air to fly (still not becoming lucid).

I fly over what seems like a resort near a beach, but there is also an urban area. Flying down and around the people does not surprise them that much. In fact, one shirtless chubby male in swimming trunks waves at me from a lawn chair. I do have to dodge a few power lines. I also briefly see Zsa Zsa Gabor (very old) who regards me without emotion.

I fly in a semicircular path and land in an industrial area near a fence and see my wife approaching on her bicycle (which for a short time seems to be a three-wheeled rickshaw with packages on the seat to her right - however it is soon a bicycle again). She seems cheerful and okay as she soon hears me calling out her name (“Suzi”) rather loudly. Three unknown people are there and I start randomly talking to them about others in the area as my wife approaches on bicycle. One unknown male claims they are my relatives and that the person I thought was Zsa Zsa Gabor may actually be an elderly lady I visited as a child whose surname (real-life as well) was Love. I am not sure if the surname he gives for himself is Toms or Thomas (though I do hear “Toms” at first, it seems).

My wife is happy to see me and seems about twenty years old now. We decide to fly off together, but first, I must hide her bicycle so that no one steals it. I use telekinesis (still not lucid) and move it to near the sidewalk. From here, I transform the bicycle now lying on its side into a red fire hydrant which rises slowly from the ground as it forms and becomes harder and more uniform. My apparently fictional relatives gaze at the fire hydrant quite oddly as if they know I am deliberately being obnoxious to them by manifesting a metaphorical erection so boldly (albeit with supposed witchcraft).

My wife and I fly around while holding each other close, though there are several annoying younger chubby males who seem to not like us being there and suspect us of being witches intent on destroying their town. We fly near a higher hill overlooking the town where there are other people entering a cave above a cliff. These people seem more intelligent and spiritual than the people below in the adjacent town but we do not converse with them.

A few of the other males in the resort area soon somehow develop the ability to fly. This annoys me because they are now a threat. My wife and I move apart and run about in the air, about ten feet from the ground, to distract them from going in just one direction. Soon, the palm of my right hand grows a mouth with sharp shark-like teeth and my arm stretches several times its normal length to become an octopus tentacle reaching all the way to the ground. Any male that flies near either of us is grabbed and either “eaten” or thrown down hard enough to disintegrate them.

I flip backwards in midair, my body arcing back as I hover above the town and I then mentally force a newly declared “truth” that no other person from this town will ever be able to fly. This works (in this particular dream) and I feel strongly that no one else will ever fly or be a threat at least when we are flying. “Let’s get away from this looney bin,” I say to my wife.

My wife and I again hold each other in flight and we converse about how timeless and ageless our love has been and even make subtle in-jokes about our years of romance and bizarre experiences with humanity and their typically strange and limiting beliefs. It dawns on me yet again that I knew of her existence just before I was born (and even longer before she was born).

In the back of my mind, I vaguely contemplate the earthquake that rattled our house in a sweeping wave a few hours before in real life. It seemed to move from the front room where I was, under my feet, continuing in a vibrating wave almost as if a large animal was moving underground northeast to southwest with moderate speed. I could actually feel the floorboards vibrating in sequence from the front to the back of the house as I heard it move through my oldest son’s room in the same way - my first real earthquake. I was not aware they occurred like this; that is, as if traveling from one area to another like a wave, as I had always thought the ground shook in the same place for a time as in movies.

After a very long period of doing close to nothing but lurk on this website, I've been inspired to start being more diligent and active in this community. What sparked this notion is my first recalled truly lucid dream!

I went to sleep a little late last night, admittedly, and I did not do anything particularly different than usual. I took my usual bedtime dose of a B-100 complex vitamin and 100mg of 5-HTP (which I don't take primarily for lucid dreaming, but the vividness it brings is a nice side effect). The night before, I listened to about 15 minutes of a binaural lucid dreaming track, but I don't see how it could have an effect over 24 hours later... Could it?

I don't recall any dreams prior to waking up at 6AM to my cat licking my face and purring. After getting up and feeding him, I returned to bed.

Upon 'waking up' a second time, I noticed that I wasn't in my apartment anymore, but a house painted in deep blues and vivid golden-yellows. It looked like a magician's house. I thought, "I can't remember how I came to be here... Maybe I'm dreaming?" and decided to do the standard "finger through the opposite palm" reality check. My finger did not penetrate my other hand, but I was convinced that this wasn't a dream. Things became slightly more vivid and a little shaky, so I stayed very still until it stabilized for me. I decided to walk to the window and noticed that it was facing a sunlit ocean, like that of my former home. I was quite happy to see the familiar body of water. I now live on the mainland of my country, so I knew for certain that I was dreaming. My first thought was typical - "I'll try to fly!". It quickly resulted in my jumping up and landing on the floor with a thud. Oddly, my mind proceeded to the idea that I simply didn't have control over the proper elements (air, fire) for flying just yet, a concept that is reminiscent of those in a book series about modern witches that I loved.
Thinking along the same lines, I realized that if I had any power at all, it would be that of earth and water. To test my theory, I went to a shelf with several wilted potted plants on it. I placed my hands above the pots, and in sequence they began to come back to life as green light poured forth. I was very excited by this, to the point where I changed a nearly-dead rubber plant into a spectacular bright blue and tall amaryllis.
I was greatly enjoying this. I then thought that I would once again try to fly, and did my best to call on the other elements. I managed to hover above the ground, and then departed the small cottage by the sea to fly for some time. Unfortunately, things became kind of foggy as I flew above the ocean, and the scene changed. With this transition, I also lost my lucidity, though I recall the dream remaining fairly vivid (though not as pleasant). Interestingly enough, there were no dream characters in any of the lucid portion of my dreams...

I'm very excited to have had such a fascinating dream, and I feel it was truly a lucid dream as opposed to some very vivid ones I've had in the past. I hope to build on this experience by being more diligent with journalling, reality checks, etc.

Harry Potter dream. I am in some sort of dining hall with friends. All of a sudden, Death Eaters appear at the dinner. A black pair of tennis shoes, somehow symbolic, appear first, and then Death Eaters begin showing up. A lot of negotiations are going on. I finally decide that there has been enough talk. I signal to one of our guys to attack.

He releases a spell and zaps a Death Eater's toe. Someone else zaps back, and slowly the entire dining hall descends into chaos. I cast a protective spell on myself and hunker down to hide. One of my friends in the dream (don't know her in WL) is distraught, and says that now she will have to find another job. I tell her that the Death Eaters would have just turned on us anyway.

Afterwards, my friend is trying to gather components for a spell, but needs to call someone to get a special ingredient. I spend the rest of the dream trying to figure out how to make a collect call in my state. I finally wake up.

Dream
False Awakening

I was with Laurie watching one of her kids, which was a fourth she had just had. We were at a mall buying stuff but something happened and we had to go home. We got to Laurie's house at night and the house she now lived in was a big mansion. Something scared her kid and he called 911, which made me run over and hang up the phone. While tucking him in bed, tons of cops started showing up asking about the kid. They thought I did something and started questioning me and doing stuff to me. Eventually, Laurie told the cops to take the kid as I talked to the cops. I was devastated at what was happening and was seeking answers from the cops. I couldn't find a specific cop I was looking for but when I asked a girl, she told me to follow her and she started lighting up the house's inside Christmas decorations. I was surprised and amazed and she started making a cake and some pasta with magic. I woke up and started thinking about the kid in the dream but then I really woke up.

December 03, 2014

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This was a non-lucid dream about lucid dreaming. Or something. It had a lucid-dreaming-ish quality to it, but I think it might be more accurate to describe it as magic. There was a notion of going to certain places to "dream," and ending up in different places, or changing the world around you while in the dream. You could only do this in places where the energy was "good." If it's "really good" energy, you would enter a new plane of existence, and be able to "see" things more. Things other people couldn't see.

I was on a mountaintop with my family at some point in this dream. Though the feeling is still quite clear for me, the specific events are a bit hazy and disjointed, and I'm not quite sure what happened when. All I know is that this mountain had a "really good" spot, which happened to be a swing at the edge of a nearly vertical cliff-like slope. I was sitting on the swing, and doing the magic to see things that existed on the other plane. I closed my eyes, and opened them in a grove with Zukin. I had transported to a spot of equal energy, and brought her with me? We had a group of visitors learning about this magic. We were showing them some things, and somehow Zukin and I ended up in the bedroom of a relative of mine. I knew that the rest of my family was visiting this relative, and that I had given some excuse for why I would not be there. But now I was there. My family came into the room while Zukin and I were panicking about how to leave before they knew we were there.

DreamLucidity

I knew I was dreaming while I was in a large, city-like supermarket while a huge vampire lord started attacking people. Everyone started running and some people fought the vampire. The vampire flew at me as I tried summoning water from my finger tips to fight it. It wasn't working so I ran away. I ran behind L. Hernandez because he knew where to go to hide from the vampire. As I ran, I could hear my boots hit the ground and I could feel the coldness of the floor the times I touched it when rounding a tight corner. I tried to feel tired by running but it didn't work. I lost awareness at times but I managed to gain it back. I tried summoning water but nothing seemed to work, making fall behind and lose sight of Hernandez, but found a young girl in a corner with a bandage on her arm. I went up to her and put my hand close to her wounds. Eventually, we could see her wounds light up under the bandage with a yellowish color which slowly faded into a dark red, sort of how blood looks.
The girl, who had a cute round face with a small nose and short light hair, thanked me. I started to leave but she asked how I healed her. I said "This is a dream!" she seemed confused at first but after pointing a few things out, her eyes widened and she finally realized it was in fact a dream, saying "Ohhh yeah!" As we walked, I saw the exit, the sun shinning brightly on the outside. I told the girl, "You can imagine your mom walking in right now" but she said "I like Miley Cyrus". I looked at her and replied "On three, Miley will be singing a song behind that counter" and pointed to what looked like a costumer service desk. "One, two, three" We looked and saw a girl that looked just like Miley Cyrus before she cut her hair. The young girl got excited and gave me her number. It was long, maybe international but it had to have been in the US because it started with a 1. I told her I wouldn't remember that and as soon as I said my first three digits, I woke up.

#373 - DILD - 12:11AM

I went to bed around 10pm after watching Grimm and Constantine so I was really prepared to enjoy some crazy dreams and hoped for a DILD ( I think this dream was more inspired by "The Last Airbender"). I was a little shocked how early this LD happened, though this seems to happen a lot, it's just a matter of recall. Unfortunately, my recall is full of holes and lucidity was low for the most part. Some possible chemical influences: I enjoyed a 40 oz of Mickey's stretched throughout the evening. I also took a Zyrtec and used some Veramyst nasal spray for my horrendous allergy problem that I currently experiencing. gahhhh!

Another thing to explain the content of the dream is that I have been doing some recreational reading on erowid.

I have taken an abusive but fairly low dose of Dextromethorphan Hbr (100mg). I see what I think of as tracers and some mild distortions of reality. The experience is fairly enjoyable but I have some nervous twitches and body jerks that I try to hide and only allow myself to experience when I am alone. I have some conversation with a dream character and wonder off.

I begin to feel really sleepy now and almost consider taking another dose of DXM but decide that would be really dangerous. I eventually lay down someplace and fall asleep.

I have a dream inside the dream. This is were my memory has gaps. I am involved in some story line about a young man that has ice powers. I see him and my son on a carpet gliding over a snowy landscape and seamlessly crossing over land water/ice. They seem to be in awe but this is nothing new to me.

I have a moment of lucidity here. I show some female DC how they are gliding over water and ice. I walk out into the ice but it breaks. It feel cold at first but I generate some heat in my body to feel warm. Then I use some ice power to re-freeze the water. I step on it but it breaks right away. The young man (who looks a lot like the helper in "Waterbending #2) comes to aid me. He freezes the water while I am in it and then pulls me out. I have ice encases on my legs and it looks like knee-high boots made of ice. I marvel at this for a moment and then feel the dream slipping away. I am not sure what to do other than look at the boy and focus on him visually. My concentration wavers.

Now I am talking to my wife like it was all a movie or TV series that we have been watching. I spoke as if it was my story but portrayed by actors. I mention something how they stuck really close to what actually happened. I told her that I might really be "The Drac", meaning the dragon. I talk about how ice doesn't bother me and I can generate high amounts of heat with Chi energy.

*huge memory gap*

I am somehow lucid again and talking to the DreamGuide/Avatar. I can't recall the actual conversation but I have a gist of what was said. I talked about our powers. I ask him something... I think I wanted his name. He says something and I respond, "This IS a dream but go on."
He says something really profound but in a confusing way. I sum up what he was trying to say in one sentence. He responded like he was impressed with me but also annoyed. I worry that I will forget what he said but I feel confident that I will remember my summary of it so I let it go. I am really excited about whatever he told me and anxious to write it all down.(I am so pissed I don't remember this! )

We enjoy some using some fire and ice magic together though I don't recall much of this. My fire magic never produced flame; just high amounts of heat that melted ice. I should explore this again.

*memory gap* (or just non lucid)

Lucid again. Trying to focus on the dream so I won't wake up. I wake up.

1st. So I had a false awakening where I began to go back to bed. As I fell back asleep, I could feel myself going into the dream so I thought I may as well just WILD it. It felt like I was doing flips and moving around my room, slowly it began to settle downed I tested to see whether I was in a lucid dream. So I went directly to the mirror in my bathroom, I was only about 4feet tall and had pale blue/blondish hair, my face was also a different structure with my bones being a lot sharper and harsh to look at. After this my dad came in and I though about posts when people said that they would tell their dream characters that they are actually in a dream, so I did exactly that although I cannot remember what happened after that.

2nd. So there was me and a little girl as well as my little brother. We were in this small circle sized area with a few other people and were surrounded by plants and fauna, most of these were normal looking. The girl began looking through one side of the bush where there was high shrubbery although an adult began telling her that she should not be doing that.. She then began going through another area where the ground was softer and almost marsh like and the plants were sparser and taller. Most of these were about half of my height. She began stepping on them, splitting them in the process. This would let her walk around without touching the ground. I thought that this could potentially be dangerous so I stopped her and she went somewhere else, while she was exploring somewhere else I became curious about what was outside of this circled off area so I began taking the path that she had taken using the same process of splitting the top of the plants. The plants became shorter and looked as if someone had already split them, so now the whole ground was practically covered. They also began to gain this weird purple colour. Suddenly the ground gave way to a massive pond. The pond was a very very dark green in colour and was covered in these gigantic lily pads with the length of a bed, the whole place had this kind of magical vibe to it. I started stepping on these although they gave way and flooded me up to my knees. At some point I decided to turn back after getting a bad feeling about the place, although I didn’t head back the way I came in, I went through this kind of swamp area with the same lily pads as before, although here the feeling of something being wrong went to dread and anxiety. I reached the shore in time although now everyone else was trying to do what I had done. I tried to warn them but they would not listen. This is all I can remember.

3rd. I was in a large track area although instead of running track there was a forest to replace it. Here I was chasing my little brother or my dog (Can’t Remember). As we came around the corner I could see that there were a group of people clustered together. There was my step-dad there and my sister. On the ground there was a iPhone6. In real life I am actually waiting for my iPhone to arrive so I was excited when I saw this in the dream world. I immediately asked my step-dad whether I could open it, he said yes. When i lifted the top I noticed that it was the black model, had some sort of case already half attached to it. The iPhone itself was pure black, thicker and felt generally not like an iPhone6. I put it back in the case and told him I would prefer the white model and would gladly wait.