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    Non-Lucid Dreams

    1. Dog fence / Camping / Warehouse / Reindeer-men / Corruption / Shower / Running / Garlic

      by , Yesterday at 10:11 PM
      House hunting
      I'm house-hunting with my family. We're walking around a nice single-story house, and I like it a lot. I'm looking around the property trying to figure out how our dog would do here. The back yard is completely fenced in, but the front yard isn't. I think that it may be possible to link the fencing with the house to create a fenced-in back yard; I really like the idea, since I can't trust him without a fence or a leash, and I'd love to be able to throw things for him to fetch (it's a large back yard). Now I notice that the front yard is actually fenced in all the way except for the driveway, and I think that maybe adding a gate to complete it wouldn't be a bad idea. Looking around more, I notice that every house in the neighborhood seems to be completely fenced in except for the driveways; unusual, but whatever. Now he walks up to me carrying something in his mouth; looking more closely, I see that it's a dirty bowl with some bits of sewing in it; I recognize it as my wife's stuff, so I call to her.

      Group camping
      It's night, and I'm walking around our group camp site. I see our group's leader by the fire circle working on getting a fire started. As soon as he gets it started, he stands up and declares that it's time for bed. I'm surprised - why build the fire if it's bed time? I walk up to him to ask him. Now I notice the restrooms are just behind him and I excuse myself. Now I'm in the bathroom and find a wet towel - weird. Now I'm back outside talking to him again. We talk some more about other things, including music. We look at something on our phones. Now I ask him about breakfast, saying that I really need it by 7AM. He laughs, saying that he's not even going to be awake by then, let alone have breakfast ready.

      The warehouse
      I'm in an empty warehouse - all I can see is bare concrete floor and walls. Looking up, I see that it's actually got a few stories above me, and I can see firemen spread out doing something (there's no fire that I can see). Their leader is near me, and he looks like Ghostbuster's Peter Venkman. Looking around more, I see items that weren't there before, and any time I focus on one I get a kind of floating pictorial bubble giving me more information about it. I discuss population with someone (I jotted that down in my overnight notes, but I have no idea what it means.)

      I'm walking around in what I know to be a game. I'm in a residential neighborhood. All of the houses have large yellow and black signs outside. Each sign has the same list of possible content that can be found in a house, and lines which are applicable to a house are checked. The houses differ significantly in what they list, but they all seem to have "Reindeer" checked. Now I'm inside one of the houses. The light is very dim, and it's creepy. I walk around looking for reindeer. I don't see any, but I hear an occasional clip-clop from elsewhere in the house. As I'm walking through something like a living room, a reindeer-man comes around the corner. He's tall, wide, and very muscular, and he seems enraged. His eyes are wide and red, and he snarls as he walks towards me. I take a moment to gape at it, then turn to flee, only to find another one right behind me. I'm trapped! I punch the one blocking my escape, even as I know it's completely futile. He punches me and I go down.

      Now I'm back outside walking through the neighborhood with my parents. My father asks if I can scroll the console back to the top - he says there was a message that looked interesting but it disappeared before he could properly read it. I try the traditional shift+page up, and it works. I can see the console text hovering in front of us, though part of it is hidden by the branches of a tree. He somehow zooms in on the text he's interested in, pulling it towards us and making it much easier to read. It says something about using "svn group" to preserve local changes. He has no idea what that means, so I explain that - if my guess is correct - the game automatically checks out the latest versions of files, so any local modifications will normally be overwritten, so if you want to modify anything and have it "stick" you have to block the auto-checkout with this command.

      Post-apocalyptic corruption
      I'm watching a group wandering through a post-apocalyptic city. Most of the buildings are burnt out, and there's large rubble everywhere. The leader of the group is telling the others how his own wife was corrupted: growing larger, skin turning gray, losing control of herself. It turns out that he's been infected as well and has been suppressing it, but he finally loses the battle and begins transforming, groaning that he can't hold it back any more. He gains size and muscle, but he gains an almost golden color. Now he's wearing loose white robes, and his muscular arms and 6-pack are clearly visible. He tells the group that they must declare allegiance: either to him, to his wife, or to "the twins." Now I see that there are four groups, and he's displeased, saying that there can only be three and that the groups must battle until one of them is destroyed. The smallest group turns to flee.

      Strange shower
      I'm taking a shower in a small bathroom. There's no shower stall - the water just pools on the floor. I start to splash around, enjoying myself, then stop because I don't want to disturb my wife. I also realize that there's only a very small lip under the door and I don't want to flood the hallway.

      Running with John
      I'm with John O and my second daughter in the lobby of a movie theater. Everything is very blue, and there are tables scattered around - it seems it doubles as a diner. My daughter hasn't seen a movie in a theater before and asks how it works. I explain that we have to wait around while the current movie plays, then go in and wait for the next one to start. Now we're sitting at one of the tables, eating while we wait.

      Now John and I are crossing the parking lot. We're talking about "that weird taxi guy" who always hangs around the Atlanta airport. He does a great job and is worth seeking out, but sometimes you have to walk a long way to find where he's parked. Now we're walking along a sidewalk, and I realize that my daughter is missing. I turn to run back towards the theater, but John runs much faster than I. I yell after him to pace himself. He slows down, gets behind me, and starts pushing me. I end up running much more slowly than before since my balance is being thrown off. I ask him to stop pushing, so he passes me again. I'm able to regain my balance and speed back up. We're running downhill now, and I end up going really fast (though still slower than John).

      Eating garlic
      I'm driving home with my son. I realize I'm hungry and look around to see if there's anything to eat in the car. I see that the dashboard's cell phone holder has a garlic bulb sitting in it. As much as I'm not in the mood for raw garlic, I am really hungry, so I manage to peel off a few cloves and start trying to peel them one-handed (I'm still driving, after all). I hope I have a while before my wife gets home since I'm sure my breath will stink for a long time.

      Now I'm pulling into the driveway and am surprised to see that stuff is scattered everywhere inside the garage and on the driveway. I park near the top and we head inside. She's not here, so I start hunting down some real food.

      Fragment: A brilliantly white monument is standing in a grassy patch in the middle of the road.
    2. Looking at my DJ - fragment Spellbee's Splendid Comp Night #6, DJ #15

      by , Yesterday at 09:57 PM (Journeys through Spacetime)
      I am looking at my DJ on DV, and all the blue is now green. (all non-lucid).
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    3. DJ#333: Lingerie Thief

      by , Yesterday at 09:29 PM (BlairBros' Adventures)
      Dream 1: I was working at McDonalds, someone coming through the drive thru has stolen a record amount of lingerie and it is stuffed everywhere in his car and he is wearing some of it.
      Tags: non - lucid
    4. Partial one

      by , Yesterday at 07:35 PM (Just Another Dream Journal)
      I slept rough last night. I had a lot of good dreams, but I woke so frequently I only partially recall one of them

      I had a laptop that needed charged, so I took it to the kitchen and plugged it in behind the sink. My charger had to plugs on it and one hung down into the sink which was full of water. I realized everything too late and wondered how to unplug it. I got an oven mitt but hesitated because I didn't know if I was grounded.
      Then I remembered the multi-plug outlet and shut it off (It was nowhere near me lol and I had plugged directly into the wall ) I kept hoping I was in a dream. I finally pulled the plug out of the wall and the prongs were warped. My grandmother chastised me and in trying to straighten the hot prongs, she wiggled them too much and broke them off. I grabbed some glue and tried to put it back together.
      I had JUST renewed my EQ2 subscription and the laptop was new and my only source for the internet. I was very stressed out and miserable and then I woke.

      *whew* It took me a moment to fully grasp that I had been dreaming The dream was so real but so weird. First: there's never a wall plug directly behind a sink; the multi-plug outlet wasn't even being used; I've not owned a laptop for more than a decade; I've not played EQ2 for a year or 2; glue. Seriously I was going to glue the prongs back on and actually use it? I am so glad my waking self is a bit more intelligent than that.

      Fitbit: 2:46AM-1:06PM 19 times restless for 3hrs 58 minutes. Total sleep: 6hrs 22 minutes.
    5. Jan/18/2017

      by , Yesterday at 07:32 PM (My Dream World)
      Mixed up Murder

      I am in my house sitting down in my kitchen playing Minecraft. All of the sudden I get very scared and somehow I know there are two murderers outside trying to get in. I am try telling my mom but she doesn't listen to me. I am panicking telling her we need to get out or call 911 but she did nothing. I then decide to take matters into my own hands. I grab my 3 younger siblings and I take them into the garage so we can run outside when the murderers break in the house. Then I see one of the murderers outside the garage door. I am so scared and I run inside and close and lock the door when i realize that I left my youngest sibling in the garage! It it too late to get him because I can hear the murderer break in. It was like I had supervision cause I could see everything happening in the garage. The murderer touches my sibling then just walks right by him. Then scene change and i'm in my kitchen and the murder is right in front of me (i think he was about to kill me) He had brown hair and a beard his face was very round and he was a bigger dude. Then i'm not really sure how it happened but a group of murderers from one of my old dreams (like months and months ago) are right in front of me! (When I wake up i realize that these murders were never in my old dreams. That they are new.) We all act like we are best friends (They look like those creature people from the Pirates of Caribbean Davy Jones) They take my younger siblings out and said they would be back later that night to have dinner. So I play minecraft and then I go into the bathroom and fix my hair (It looked terrible and I couldn't fix it!) When I come out my siblings are home and my mom tells me the dudes (don't rly know what to call em) had to leave (some kind of emergency) They did end up coming the next day. Then I woke up

      Side Notes
      - The dudes from POTC ate raw fish (EWWW)
      - My mom told me my younger sibling threw up and I got scared
      non-lucid , nightmare
    6. Cottage

      by , Yesterday at 06:17 PM
      I was up at the cottage for it all.

      At first I was there with the families from new years, but then strange things started to happen. I went up to the big house and found Mati and Timay's mom. She was asking me weird questions about teenagers and I didn't really answer them. I found Brittany, and we started flirting a bit. I hung with Brit on the couch for a while, then went down to the water to a second cottage that was there for seome reason. All the families were there, and at one moment I looked out the window and saw whales breaking the surface of the ice on the lake. I yelled out, and everyone came to the window. I then realized they weren't whales but giant Walruses, and following behind them were giant black bears with the bill of a Platypus. I reached for my phone and recorded a snap story of it all. Behid the bears were so many animals, horses and cows and elephants and dogs.

      We were all laughing with joy, and I ran out on the beach. I wanted to touch an elephant, but a big bull was protecting them and I got too close so he slammed me with a tusk and sent my flying back inside.

      As the animals slowly walked into the distance, I said "This was the most entertaining day in a long time"

      And then, I saw a rocket launch happen about 10 clicks out.

      And as we all cheered again, we watched it slam into the sea.

      Wow. An african migration and a rocket crash in the same 2 minutes. Cool dream. Never checked if I was dreaming though, too busy enjoying it
    7. Dream 17/01/2017 - 18/01/2017

      by , Yesterday at 05:40 PM
      I was at a house with some DCs, cutting my hair. When I finished, everything was fine except the front of my head, which was bald and the skin red. The DCs present made fun of me...
    8. oh yeah, recall

      , Yesterday at 05:31 PM (Turquoise Dreams)
      I'm given a room in a large building. I walk inside and rejoice, when I find some hidden passages and rooms in the back, that lead to another part of the building. I am happy because even though I'm kinda scared, I know it's gonna be intense.

      I walk through to an abandoned looking hallway with tiles and columns. Feels like old hospital or institution. Some guys walk by and I know I'm in trouble coz I should not be there and I should not be seen. They are doing some experiments with people there.
    9. Unconventional Chess

      by , Yesterday at 03:46 PM
      I am inside an airport, watching security people accost Magnus Carlsen, the current world champion of chess. At every turn they are pulling at his shirt and wrestling him against the wall. He is trying to leave the airport to get to his limo. I am told they are attacking him because he is the world champion. The scene at the airport fades and I am teleported to a sports stadium with Garry Kasparov. We are sitting in the front row and watching a chess match take place inside a boxing ring. I hear the announcer say, "Max Dlugy" and it appears Max is a coach for one of the fighters. One of the fighters is sitting on the ground with pink-dyed hair. His native language is German. In turn, this pink-haired fighter is himself a coach -- and he is coaching a female player.

      Apparently, this is a match where the coaches are directly involved in the competition. The players fight the players, and the coaches fight the coaches. And each player has a coach and each coach is coached by someone else. It reminds me of an onion, unfolding more and more layers. Or those bulbous Russian Matrioshka dolls, where one doll fits inside another, which fits inside another, which fits inside another, et cetera. Kasparov is standing next to me and I am thinking of joining in the competition, even though I am nowhere near the strength of the other players. But I figure I'll still have a fighting chance, since Garry Kasparov is my coach. Dreamt 1/05/2017
      dream fragment , non-lucid
    10. 18-Jan-2017 - ND fragment + 2x confused WILD

      by , Yesterday at 10:56 AM
      18-Jan-2017 - ND fragment + 2x confused WILD

      ND: Fragment about using some long, thin white plastic bars as weapons (?)

      2AM WBTB, fall asleep right away

      4AM wake-up, no recall, attempt WILD, partial success
      Several fragments:
      - A meeting with colleagues, then knowing I am dreaming I cut out the window and fly off
      - Meet two horses in a pen
      - Three girls, I get to see well the rightmost two, scene fades quickly

      5:45AM wake-up, attempt WILD with more focus, partial success
      I try continuing yesterday Jungle Guerrilla, from the point where I meet Rachele
      I am somehow successful, I am human size, explain her I need my mission.
      I need a vehicle. I take a banana from a nearby tree, put it in the ground, increase its size to ride it.
      However, looking down, I see my child, smiling at me. I am confused. I tell him to go away since it's a dangerous area.
      I pick a cardboard box, put it onthe ground, we sit inside and it moves.
      <JUMP> Dream scenery change, can't recall
      Later on, on foot again, I take the girl's hat, shape it like a motorbike, increase its size and we ride it.
      A fragment in which I explore a building, I stabilize fairly well (rubbing hands perhaps?), environment is stable, but scene changes
      A fragment in which I read a dense page of printed text. I can read the single words fairly well
      More fragments, lot of confusion, poor recall

      Updated Yesterday at 11:04 AM by 92024

      lucid , non-lucid
    11. [17/18-01-2017: 4th and 5th competition night]

      by , Yesterday at 09:57 AM (Snehk's Dreamlands)

      Nothing recalled.


      Fountain of wish

      I was roaming around my backyard, checking all buildings just out of boredom, when I met my younger sister in one of them. She told me a story about a fountain that makes wishes come true when you drink from it and make a wish. As she told the story, I could see enormous, grassy hills and a tall cliff with ruins of an ancient fortress. The fountain was standing in the middle of a square, water that shone constantly pouring out of it. I told her that we really should find this fountain.


      I was in some industrial era city, it was a warm, sunny day. Smoke was getting out of chimneys, rubbish littered streets with beggars trying to get anything of use in their hands. However, there was a completely different society above it. People lived in attics which could be accessed only through rooftops. Rooves acted like streets, and were much cleaner than those below. Those who lived on the rooftops were much more happy than anyone living down in the city, but the way to them was dangerous. I tried to get there, taking the only possible path - through factory. Jumping between mechanisms and dodging deadly smashers, I finally got up to a platform adjacent to a tower, through which I got an easy access to rooftops.


      I left a farmer house and went to garage, where a tractor was waiting. I got inside and drove out of garage, then drove to hook up a plough, then drove to a field. I plowed through the whole field, hooked a cultivator and cultivated the field, then with a planter I planted soya beans.

      Contest & friend

      I was sitting in a room, watching TV. I was completely bored, the house was empty as everyone left somewhere. I went to kitchen and took some cola. Then a kinda ugly girl entered the house and told me about some contest that we have to take part in. She left and my family came back, they reminded me about that contest. My good friend appeared with them, for a while I was wandering around the house, passing by my friend. Each time I passed by him I said something like "Nope, nothing here." or "Haven't seen/heard a thing." Eventually I greeted him and we went to a living room where everyone was sitting. We took laptops, I checked the one that friend brought as he wanted me to fix something in it.
    12. 1/17/2017 - "Untitled"; "Pencildragon" (Lucid)

      by , Yesterday at 06:02 AM (Oneironaut Zero: Dreamwalker Chronicles)
      Dream Fragment One

      All I remember is that I woke up to some guys coming into my house, like they owned the place. I think they were supposed to be of some relation to my landlord and his son. They pretty much just made themselves comfortable, as if they were going to be staying for quite some time - one of them posting up in my windowsill and just gazing reverently at the outside world. I also remember that I was on the second floor of a two-story house.

      Dream Two:

      I was at some outdoor carnival or festival, held out in some rural field at dusk. Munching on cotton candy while I walked, I spontaneously realized that I was dreaming. Immediately, I was surprised at how much I could smell and taste the cotton candy (I have very few experiences with tastes and smells in lucid dreams), and even though the dream already felt very clear and grounded, I decided to take a few moments to touch my surroundings, running my hand along the wooden frame of a wooden kiosk nearby. Raising my free hand up in front of my face, I saw that my fingers were very wavy, which was a bit at odds with the solidity of everything else around me.

      Quickly, I tried to think of what I had planned to do with my lucidity once attained it, before I'd gone to bed. I remembered the 'Tasks of the Month' and that I wanted to try the pencil task (which was to "ask a pencil to draw something for you"). I turned back to the kiosk, expecting to find a pad and pencil there, in which I could do the experiment. Sitting atop the counter, I found a pad and a few, loose, colored pencils. I picked up one pencil - blue, I believe - and set it in the center of the pad. Without speaking, I attempted to "will" the pencil to draw something for me. The only thing I remember, about the actual process, was the pencil moving back and forth and making a few scribbles, but it ended up drawing a (quite simplistic) dragon. (One of the art pieces I have been brainstorming on, in waking life, has been a dragon. I haven't yet drawn the final draft, but I did draw a dragon thumbnail, about a week ago).

      Satisfied that I had completed the task, I took to the air and flew away from the carnival to do some exploring. While flying over the wide, green fields of the early evening countryside, I looked below me to see an actual dragon, roaming around the landscape and idly blowing plumes of fire at random. It had sort of a cartoonish, video game feel to it (I had been playing PlayStation VR, before bed - no dragon games, though), and felt as if it was just a manifestation of the dragon that was drawn on the paper. I decided not to bother with the creature and continued flying over the field. I don't really remember anything afterward.
    13. A Bit Of An Older Dream

      by , 01-17-2017 at 09:35 PM

      Now, I had this dream when I was about 8, so I don't remember everything perfectly, however I thought I should not this down somewhere.

      Anyway, lemme get to the actual dream.

      So, it started out with me on the top of a building from the third area of GTA: Vice City (I was playing that game quite a bit at the time), which in itself seem pretty weird for me. I shook it off though. I was feeling pretty nervous for some reason, so I decided to look down at the road below me. And, to my slight surprise, there were a lot of zombies just lurking around the place. They didn't seem to be doing anything too special.
      Back when I was 8 years old, this scared the crap out of me, but now that I rememeber it, I don't really know why I was so afraid since the zombies looked like how every other thing in GTAVA look like. Like crap.

      Right, I supose I thought they looked really life-like for some reason.

      Getting back to the point, I started looking around for a way off the building, because I thought the "spooky" zombies were going to eat me.

      And, I guess I did find a way down, just jumping off the damn building. A parachute just kinda appeared on my back, so I used that to make me not hit the ground and not turn into a pool of blood. Also, fun fact: I landed on a random zombie.

      I got up and just started running for my life.

      That's where the dream kind of just... "ends". I guess I was so scared that it woke me up. Thanks for reading this, by the way.
    14. DJ#332: Axe Murderer

      by , 01-17-2017 at 09:20 PM (BlairBros' Adventures)
      Dream 1: I was at my grandparents house for a party. A young woman, half african and half french was there. She was very beautiful and at one stage we both met in the hallway and she dragged me into the bathroom and we got it on, it was rather fun.

      Dream 2: I was an axe murderer in a large house with one other person. I was leading them on in a slow chase around the house, where they were discovering the corpses of everyone else I had killed, except I was pretending it wasn't me to lull them into a false sense of security, until we got to the top and I pulled out the axe and did the deed.

      Dream 3: I was looking for a house to live in near williamstown. I checked out a couple of apartments on a street which were within my price range and one of them was quite nice, also next to a friend. I took a shower in one of them.
      Tags: non - lucid
    15. 16-01-17 “Road Trip to Iceland, with Steen and Dad”

      by , 01-17-2017 at 08:56 PM
      This dream was what I recalled this morning following the intention: My intention for tonight is first and foremost to wake up and remember my dreams. Secondly I feel like I am approaching a cross-roads and I feel uncertain about where to place my efforts, so I would be thrilled with some assistance from my dreams in this respect. But foremost I trust my dreams and want to remember whatever they bring. It feels as if it is relevant somehow and I will use it as an opportunity to practise both descriptive evocative writing as well as Jungian interpretation methods.

      I am pondering the idea of going to Mexico, which appears much as you perceive a fantasy or mnemonic ideation in the waking state – the incipient sense of an image, a map perhaps, appearing before my inner eye.

      I direct my attention outwards and find myself in the passenger seat in Steen's silver-grey car, although I am inside the car I can clearly see the matte nuance of the silver grey colour on the outside of the car. My dad is in the back seat, and he seems gleeful and excited though he doesn't say or do much during the dream. We are going on a trip, and my dad and Steen are there helping me out, as it is mainly me going on a mission.

      It is pouring down outside, it is clouded and grey, which produce a darkish hue. We are at a ticket office, which resembles a mixture between a gas station and a junk food drive in. There are two protruding window tills on our right hand side and above an almost square section of roofing is covering the pavement next to the windows, providing some cover for the rain outside.

      We drive slowly towards the first of the two window tills – one for ordering another for picking up the tickets – and as we do I feel something bump into the car towards the back, which also produce a mild audible thump. I look out the window and backwards to see if Steen has accidentally hit one of the massive concrete columns extending from the building. He is really close but I can't see any damage done to the car.

      I lean back in and Steen switches on the radio and the GPS system. The audio-scape is flooded with remnants of old mobile conversations, radio clatter and noise. I feel uneasy and a bit confused, as it is supposed to be a GPS system, providing guidance. Steen remains rather calm and composed and simply asks the GPS if it is there, and it dawns on me that it is a voice activated system.

      “I am here” a clear loud and direct female voice responds, which is a tremendous reassurance.

      Steen proceeds to drive forward and I wonder why I don't have to open the window to get the ticket. “It isn't necessary when you have one of these” he says and points to a rectangular electronic device, with an old school digital display in the bottom right corner of the front window, just in front of me as it would seem. It is essentially a device that registers that he has been here and automatically charges him for the ferry ride, which is what the ticket office is for.

      “So we are going to Iceland” he says, and I feel at first excited, but then a bit concerned because we will be sailing and we are supposed to go to either Mexico or the Faeroe Islands as well today and I am afraid we won't have time. I think about this only briefly before relinquishing the thought at aspiration to do all of these things.

      We look at a map and a black marker line appears that takes us from the ticket office “to Odden” which on the map is a full scale island, elongated and egg shaped except for a very pointed en on the right hand side. The black line takes us to the top and centre of the island, where the port town is based, from where we will board the ferry to Iceland.

      End of dream.

      In this interpretation I will start by breaking down the dream into its constituent motifs, and run free associations on them.

      There is a preceding map, an idea of a journey – which implies a plan and a set destination it also represents an overview of a trip, which can symbolise knowledge of where I am going in life. This is particularly salient as I am taken somewhere else than what I had “mapped out”, which excites me although the expectation of having to go somewhere specific within a given time frame becomes a source of frustration and tension/restlessness.

      The car is a solid and large station car, it is silver grey – the colour symbolising the silver grey snake-like pathway through space I frequently perceive in meditation, cannabis and psychedelic states also symbolising the spiritual cord often reported as seen in OBEs.

      The car is a symbol of my body, it is in good shape and the fact that my dad has been relegated to the back seat can be an expression of our recent confrontations and my insights on how he has dominated the development of my low self-esteem though his parenting style. He is now put in the back seat, representing that I still carry him with me and care for his approval and love, yet this aspect is no longer the driving motivating psychic energy for my aspirations for life – such as “save the world and become super famous”, which is simply a conditioned tendency I have developed as I felt under appreciated and unseen as a child.

      Steen is an old friend of the family, both my mum and dad – I associate to him that he recently helped me out with cheaply renting his summer house to me following an Ayahuasca journey where I wanted to stop smoking and I didn't feel for returning to my parents' house where I currently live right after. At this time he said to me that he sees how my dad communicates to people and told me that one would get insane living in that environment constantly, which felt extremely pleasant to hear as someone external with knowledge of my dad seemed to understand how hard it can be. Recently my mother expressed – in a sober state – that it can be extremely challenging for her to live in that and that friends of the family finds it a challenge to be around him as well. With Steen in the driver's seat I feel that I have taken a step towards taking control of my life and am grateful for the moral support of individuating myself from my dad, who has – without fault of his own or even consciously – dominated much of my life, through establishing uncertainty both with regards to a fragile self-esteem but also the messianic and grandiose drive to save the world to finally be worthy of his admiration and love. Steen represents a new found aspect of myself that is compassionate and understanding towards why I have turned out as I did as well as the drive to liberate myself from the clutches of my dad.

      The rain outside symbolise a torrential state of affairs with regards to my emotions – since my last Ayahuasca journey it is as if a lid has been removed and my libido is now coursing freely upwards, which result in more passionate responses and an easier time setting boundaries. It could also symbolise the fact that I am expending a lot of emotional energy in response to external uncontrollable aspects of the world, which is reminiscent of the saviour complex alluded to earlier.

      The ticket office could symbolise a public institution, such as the Health Authorities which I have recently been in contact with, with regards Ayahuasca. I might be approaching, or at least that is how I perceive it, a point where I am close to getting in trouble due to my enquiries, yet no harm is done yet. The whole point of issuing a ticket could represent my thinking on Ayahuasca's precarious legal status and potentially in the future thinking of a license model for practising, where the dream hints at that license is nothing that comes from the outside but an internal license, a calling (electronic ticket system).

      The GPS and radio system is particularly interesting to me. The clatter represents conditioned thinking and the attention I pay to outward clues for finding out how to direct my life. However when I look closely the “ancient mother” (female GPS voice) is there and is capable of taking me in the direction I need to go. The trick is to ask and learn to listen for what is coming from within and ignore restrictions I put on myself based on external sources of esteem and approval.

      The fact that I am concerned with the duration of the trip represents a problematic aspect of how I relate to life in an impatient way. I am lacking trust in life unfolding as it is supposed to. This is related again to the map I saw in the beginning of the dream, which representative of how I tend to construct expectations of how life SHOULD unfold and I am operating under an assumption that I need to go somewhere specific and I need to go there quickly. In essence this result in an escapist approach to life, where I am not allowing it to unfold on its own terms and cannot fully embrace and meet events in a curious, compassionate and open way.

      The end of the dream I see the ocean and the beach sort of imaginatively overlapped onto the map with the black line. I take it to symbolise that I am still in the process of letting go of my tendency to construct expectations and narrow definitions of success, but I will shortly arrive at a position where I let go and let Life overcome me and simply concede to the abrupt changes that are about to happen, with excited anticipation and joy in letting whatever happens happen. The fact that it is a sailing trip could represent a recognition of the potent force of the collective unconscious, and my submitting the stubborn fantasy that I am in control and surrendering to the collective collected wisdom of the evolution of Life itself.

      Reconstructing the meaning from associated and elaborated ideas.

      So a potential message from the dream could be that I am still constructing expectations of where and how life should take me. This becomes a source of frustration when I run into unexpected opportunities and twists of fate.

      My dad has been a source for grandiose and messianic ideation, due to his belittling and command-like style of communication, from where he will never explain why he commands, reminds, reprimands, but simply asserts himself in a supercilious tone of voice. Since we have widely different interests in life and he has proclaimed that he has no interest (or capacity) in trying to understand me I have since very early childhood developed these tendencies as a way to garner his approval, which is already there he has just never shown it in a way I could understand it when younger. The fact that he is relegated to the back seat symbolise that I am relegating the grandiose and very ambitious saviour identities – and associated expectancies – to a position where they are no longer “driving me”.

      The downpour contrasted with the comfortable, sturdy and undamaged quality of the silver grey car, can symbolise the progress I am making with meditation, where I have found an easier time dealing with painful emotions, as well as physical symptoms. They aren't allowed to penetrate to my core and when I continue the exercise I will strengthen my capacity to sift out the “radio clatter” (which can also signify the attribution of value to others' judgement of me) and listen to the voice of my heart, represented here by the Anima archetype, my deity in prayer – Mother Gaia.

      The ticket office close call could symbolise that I need to tone down my activities with certain authorities to avoid getting in trouble, especially because I already have an inner license to pursue my dreams.

      The trip to Iceland represents where I am headed next, which isn't a literal journey, although that might be fun also. In fact it might be very useful as it is Steen guiding me, which could mean a pointer to a place of safe haven, which he provided following my last Ayahuasca journey. However I have also recently considered reading up on mythology to get a better understanding of the empirical data that underpins the theory of the archetypes. This journey serves as a pointer towards examining Nordic mythology and shamanistic/divination cultural history.

      In short. With particular reference to the intention here I am being reminded that uncertainty is OK, cause if I try and envision or anticipate a direction I will form an expectation, which will lead to suffering when life takes me elsewhere. As long as I listen to my inner voice the direction is guaranteed, so I should just continue the work of being better at letting go of old ways of thinking and sharpen my attention on what matters instead of the clatter. Then a further dive into the Nordic mythology is in store.
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