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Two or three dreams. Initially didn't hold on to details so recall is a bit fuzzy overall.

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Dream Fragment:

I was in dad's scenic, sat at the back. Someone else, too, maybe my sibling T? Mom was on the drivers seat, which was on the wrong side for the car.

We're in the middle of some city. It feels like a familiar place but doesn't seem to be anywhere specific; it's sunny and I remember green trees. We're close to some parking spaces. Mom gets a call on her phone and has to take it so for some reason she gets out of the car.

I step out too and with a gesture suggest that I can park the car. She gestures back a "sure, whatever", obviously concentrating on the conversation on the phone; I then get in the driver's side.

At first I drive forward a bit and then start reversing and turning into one of these parking spaces that was free next to some other parked cars. I get it nearly right, smack in the middle on the first try but I remember feeling the pedals and that reversing felt a bit jerky, so I tried to take care. Still, I managed to let it jerk at the end of manoeuvring, making the back hit a stone wall that ran along behind the parking spaces. I could feel it was a small impact and only the plastic bumper would have touched the wall.

Then dad appeared, walking across the front and commenting something? I sort of proudly told him about how I did or something.

Dream Fragment:

Some other dream. I remember being at my old home, in my former room. It's dark, the curtains are closed. I'm uncertain about what version of room layout this is in the dream. I was looking at texts on a phone, my first phone maybe? It was a red phone. I am my current age, however.

I was checking a text from my childhood and school friend, Di. Looking back on texts before his reply, I had apparently messaged him, ages ago.

He was now finally replying, saying he was sorry, but that he was now pan sexual or something. That didn't make much sense on its own, but I understood it to mean that he had become trans (similar sound?). Further, he said that he wouldn't be able to meet with me [ever again] because of [two letter acronym?].

I forget the rest of the text exactly but I remember feeling disappointed somehow. I had a number of passing thoughts about potential replies I could give, or whether it would be worth bothering at all. Other passing thoughts about how I used to remember him, and about how I could mention some funny memories in a text reply.

Dream Fragment:

There was a third dream but even though it was the last one, I don't really remember anything except that it was a city-building sim game of some kind.

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Notes:

- In the second dream, I remember I felt overall sad and disappointed. I was happy that my friend had moved on or something, but I suppose I've never really let go of how our relationship as friends just evaporated over a number of years, for no special reason that I was ever able to discern.
- In the first dream, while mom did use to drive, that was years ago before I was born. My mom hasn't driven since then at the very least.
- Mom's distraction with the phone somehow feels related to how she's been behaving lately when she speaks to me on the phone; it's not that she's distracted from me, it's more that she's distracting herself. Some element of worry present here.
- I and H have been playing a city-building game quite a bit lately, which is probably what the third dream was based on.

I am coming back from a trip with Dad. I am driving and it looks like we’re on or by Geiger Grade, though the area looks less developed and like we’re a little farther away? I comment on how it feels like it took no time getting back. He agrees. I think he drove there. It had just been dusk, but now it seems closer to twilight or darker. We are out of the car and by a small lake or pond nestled between some trees and hills. There is another family enjoying this place too. There is a sense of vacation or seemingly endless summer nights.

I am driving up to what looks like some event outside of a school or something similar when I notice Makayla and Mom walking this way on the sidewalk. My window is down and it seems like a very pleasant day. Makayla is holding an imperial pint glass that looks like it is full of very light Guinness or nitro cold brew. I roll up to her and the first thing I say is “my goodness… my Guinness.” She says it’s actually some flavored iced coffee (hazelnut?). I try a sip and it’s really frothy and not all that bad. I think I already have an iced coffee as well. I realize that I’m in the middle of the road and start moving again. There is one intersecting road to the right where I am going to try to turn around, but I think someone has already gone around me.




I am at work when I notice a sketchy person heading towards the men’s shoes. I think he already has some merchandise and a small, empty looking, black plastic bag. When we see him turn the corner again, the merchandise is gone and the bag looks full. We agree that this makes him good to stop, so I try to get downstairs before he does. I do this pretty easily and get by the door that it looks like he is going for. I try to look inconspicuous, and when I look back I see that Bobby is right by him, talking to him, still in the store. I wonder what he could possibly be doing, until I see him start walking him back. This really irritates me. Back in the office, the guy is hesitant but compliant. He seems homeless. He says his name is Kenneth Cox and that he is 46? I get all the paperwork done before calling PD. I ask his birth date, realizing I’ll need it, and he says something like ‘5 o’clock’. He keeps giving me bullshit answers, and I can’t tell if it’s on purpose or if he’s just not all there. I realize he doesn’t have an ID, so PD’s going to have to come anyway. I think of how they may need video and how Bobby stopped him while he was still in the building, which irritates me more.

I've been having a somewhat better dream recall average than I normally would, but haven't been taking note of dreams enough and my last DJ here was ages ago now. This is a particularly memorable dream fragment from this week.

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Dream Fragment:

First half is missing.

Was in my home city, or some altered version of it. It was day time and I was heading home on foot; there was a fluid transition to my arrival home but I've forgotten the detail of it, and when I got there it was dark at that point. My dad was in his car and approached me and told me to get in the car so we could go somewhere (for a meal or something?) - I was a bit reluctant, I was feeling in pain and really tired; mom was sat at the back with one of my brothers (T) and one of my cousins (R) was sat at the front, so I sat next to mom.

Dad started driving and very shortly after, we were going through some surreal highway that I've seen in some other dream fairly recently; surrounded by cliffs and 10-story buildings on top of the cliffs. It then turned into a rock and dirt road and there were dark abysses either side of the road, with more cliffs in the distance. I was a bit apprehensive too, but mom was starting to get quite worried and told dad, in the same way as I ever expect.

He reassured her with a smile, saying: "It's fine, I've driven on these roads loads of times!". Very shortly after he said that, we went over a bump in the road, but there was nothing on the other side. The car fell straight into one of those abysses, none of us seemingly very concerned by this, plunging into water at the bottom.

At first we didn't try to get out; I remember thinking "Well it doesn't really matter" but eventually we all got out and swam up. When we got to the surface of the water, some sort of root-like things descended toward us and took us to a sort of rocky area under a much bigger floating mass of rock.

At the centre of this area there was some sort of little shop. I remember going in and seeing all these small 4:3 CRT TV screens, each one no bigger than my head, sat on shelves, almost perfectly spaced apart. Each one of the screens had a landscape view in it, like a live feed, but not much was going on in any of them. It was a colourful shelf to look at.

As I walked along this narrow path between these big metal shelves with the TVs, something caught my attention on top of one shelf. A moonstone, but not as bright and vivid or even opalescent like one I actually have in reality. The gem was pale and sort of a sepia or cream colour but it was still slightly translucent as expected. What was odd about it was that it was encrusted with some sort of gold filigree and small golden spheres.

Start to remember less detail at this point. I remember dad went off his own way and so did my sibling and cousin. Mom stayed with me and we went outside, where it was still dark, although the direct area around wherever we went was always seemingly lit. More like the darkness was a fog made of black.

I remember seeing some bones or dead plants and noticing the floor was particularly arid. Eventually we found some building thing, which was very square. It had a brand new kitchen I think, but apart from that it was mostly just dark corridors. I don't remember anything after that point.

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A note:

I remember that in the dream the surreal landscapes felt familiar but out of place. Although I did not get anywhere near being lucid, I've had more of these moments lately where I'll have pre-lucid thoughts or recognition of a feature from a past dream.

I am on a road trip with Dad and Makayla, with Dad driving. We are going to Texas, and I see that we’re currently driving through a corner of Utah. It is like I am seeing a satellite map of a moment, and I notice that there is snowfall on the ground right above where we are and will be travelling. It zooms and pans to the right a bit. We pass by many lakes in a short amount of time. They are all fairly small, but they are beautiful. The water is clear enough to see the bottom of an entire lake as well as all the light colored and large rocks within.




I am in a store with Sage when I grab off of a shelf at about eye level a bottle of Lagunitas beer. I think I had been looking for it and am excited to have found it. I tell Sage how good it is as I open it up. I grab a glass from the shelf and pour the beer fairly vigorously into it, producing only a small, snow white head. The beer has the appearance of carbonated white grape juice and smells of the same. I take a sip and it is good. I pronounce Lagunitas funny and kind of laugh about it. Now, I am parking on the side of a residential street behind another car. Dad is on the lawn of this front/side yard, faced away from me; I have come to meet up with him. I think I have brought the full glass and the remainder in the bottle, each in a cup holder. I get out and start talking with him. I ask if he’d be offended if I just stayed at Mom’s while I’m going to school. He hesitates, almost as if taken aback, and then replies, “no, of course not.” He says I can do whatever I need to focus on school. I notice we’re under a large oak? tree that splits near the bottom. I’m now in the house here (Dad’s?), I think with Mom and Makayla. There is indication of past activity, though no one is currently here. There are two boxes of Panda Express open on the counter, each with a glass of white wine sitting too near the edge. I notice about five of the Lagunitas beers, all opened and partially finished. It makes me a little mad because he all of them without asking

I am with Melissa in Virginia City at a brewpub or something similar. We’ve parked along the side of the road and it seemed like more of a steep incline, like the road around Tahoe. We walk up and take seats at the counter. The waitress seems a little younger, nice, and laid back. I look at the beer menu and the double door beer fridge. The fridge seems to have a better selection, and I decide on picking something from it. An older lady walks up to it and grabs a Black Butte Porter. I notice a ceramic, 11oz bottle of Delirium Tremens. I also notice, at the very bottom, what looks like ceramic, 2 L sized containers of Delirium on their sides. I wonder the price of each and then go grab one of the small bottles. I sit back down and think we’re going to order food also. The waitress is talking about something going on, but has to explain it because it’s our first time here. I now pour my beer into a regular pint glass. I realize it is not Delirium Tremens, but rather Delirium ‘Trem’ or ‘Tremen’, which I assume is a different style of beer from the same brewery. I think it is a saison. It is a very nice hazy light orange, and it tastes very good. I notice that Melissa has a tulip shaped glass with a little bit of water in it; I think about stealing it to use instead of the regular pint glass. I also think this beer is closer to 4% than the 8% of the Tremens. I think about being responsible since I’m driving, but I also think about how it’s nice up here and how we could just not worry about going back and go to a few more places.




I’m driving to Carson City, and the freeway seems more straight ahead and lower in elevation. It is sunset, and the sunset is beautiful. The clouds are thick and heavy and dark, full of dark orange and red and spots of purple. I see the backyards of houses to my right. I know they’re close to the freeway, but they still seem nice. The yards are small and close together, most with a good assortment of trees, some with string lights. I think about living out here since it’s smaller, thinking the drive might be worth it if I worked out south and/or mainly stayed out here. I think that it would be closer to Tahoe.

I'm driving my car through a neighborhood around sunset time when I spontaneously realize I might be dreaming. I continue to drive the car, talking to myself about being lucid and focusing. I park the car on the side of the road and step outside. I walk to the front of the car and touch the hood before getting down on my hands and knees and feeling the pavement. I pick up a handful of dust and dirt from the road and roll it around in my hand. I want to sit down somewhere, so I imagine a bench on the other side of the road and release the dirt from my hand imagining it transforming into the bench. It was hard to do this, however, so it doesn't happen, but when I look farther up, a bench is there in front of me. I go to sit down and just observe around me for a while. I look up at the sky which has gorgeous colors of sunset with light and dark blues contrasting the streaks of clouds floating stationary high above. A bird also flies over head. I imagine the bird swooping down towards me, and sure enough, it heads straight at me with great speed. I duck out of the way exclaiming how close it was. The bird jumps up on the bench, and wants to climb on my finger. I hold it out but realize the bird is larger than I thought. It looks like a fluffy falcon or hawk with some kind of fancy feathers crowning the top of its head. I hold out my whole hand instead and it leaps onto it. A group of people comes up to me and starts talking, including me in their conversation. The whole time they're talking, I feel like the dream is speeding up and I try to slow it down by keeping myself grounded. Eventually, they walk away but I want to remember their names. I ask them but I can't recall any of them. Looking down at the concrete, I see the small ridges and patterns on top characteristic of smoothed concrete. I get down on the ground until my eyes are level with the ridges and imagine the sides of the ridges being trees with a path running down the middle. As I get up slowly, I find myself in the forest, still with the group I was talking to. The trees sway overhead, but I soon wake up.

The title of this dream is to commemorate my physical dream journal being completed by this entry. May the second journal be more amazing than the first!

I am with Brittney and by some pool. I’m not sure if it’s in ground or a small, natural pool. The water looks clear and inviting. I’m pretty sure it’s a natural pool, as I think the water is lapping up against sand.




I am outside somewhere that food is being served from a long table up against a wall. There is one in front of me, and he is getting the first large cut of a large slab of some kind of meat (it looks like the size of a small animal). I get the second slice, equally large. I put another large portion of something on my paper plate, making it just about full. I think I’ll have to come back later since I won’t have room for everything they have out on my plate.




I think I am going on a road trip or driving somewhere fairly far away.

I am with Melissa and she is driving us either to or from Mom’s so I can grab something really quick. I don’t recognize the car, but it seems like a mid size SUV. it is dark out. Melissa is in underwear and a white bra and I am wearing a towel. I see in the mirror a cop car a few cars behind us, so I tell Melissa to use her turn signal. She somewhat defiantly asks why and I tell her to just do it. She does, as she moves into the empty lane to the right (there are 3-4 lanes and it looks pretty much like S. Virginia). I see the cop car get over right behind us. I see Melissa see it and get why I was telling her to use her signal. She has her elbow propped on the window ledge and her head propped on her fist; she looks sort of sadly resigned. The cop looks like he could be running the plates or something. I wonder if he can see our state of dress from this angle and wonder what the implications would be. He is wearing some weird circular glass piece over one of his eyes, kind of like a monocle but larger and more steampunk looking. I think I saw him earlier.



(fragment) I am somewhere outside with Mom and some unfamiliar? others. We’re on a small jetty of tannish boulders on what is probably a very small lake. It looks like the clear water is about ten feet down and I am planning on jumping into it (it’s so clear that the ground and submerged boulder look close, but I know they’re deeper than they appear) until Mom tells me that the water is actually right at my feet. Sure enough, I move them and stir up the water. It’s refreshingly cool.



(fragment) I’m with Scott in a rental car. We’re at a red light when I notice that he’s in the back, I’m in the passenger’s seat, and no one is in the driver’s seat. It seems like he is casually expecting me to drive. I look to the red light and then quickly hop into the driver’s seat. I buckle up and I think put it in drive as the light turns, accelerating not too far behind the car in front of us. I’m driving around a long corner, like an off ramp, and almost hit the cement barrier, steering pretty hard to avoid it and get back on course. I think I was going too fast, but the car also seems hard to control.

Was in an unfamiliar house that I guess I was moving into. There wasn't much light except that coming from some side lamps. There was lots of stuff everywhere. There were other people living in the house. I was talking to someone in another room while I moved someone else's stuff out of the room I was going into. I wasn't sure who it belonged to but I hauled some of it to a room upstairs. At the top I heard someone coming out of the shower and the door was open. I realized it was Amber and didn't wan't to appear like a peeping tom and so literally slid back down the stairs.

Next I was starting up my jeep which was full of people. Amber was in the rear passenger side seat. I asked if she had any suggestions for chill music to listen too while I drove. "hmm you could listen to what I'm listening too." she said. I realized she had earbuds in. I asked what she was listening too and she started to get really embarrassed. I think she was listening to a soundtrack to some very soap-opera-esk show.

I am driving after my cousins car on an empty road, suddenly I am reeling away, I don't know why but the car now is on the roadside and I see some road posts but didn't notice in time to do something so I went over them and then... nothing I was continuing to drive, after a while we arrived at a weird car wash so I looked at tires and everything was whole and perfect, I wondered at it, but somehow it wasn't for me enough to ask if I am dreaming! ((

I am in what I think is a smaller climbing gym inside a shopping mall. I am going to climb, and I feel good, like I’ve been back in it or something. I notice one other guy, sort of larger guy with longer back hair. I think his shirt is off. I think his presence makes me self conscious. I am climbing but it is also like I am clocked in as security at JCPenney. I start moving quite a few shoe boxes that turn out to be empty. I can’t believe that many would be stolen. I have my radio on, and I’m getting called to do something. Entering the shopping mall, I am running. I clear a few longer steps quickly and then slow down self consciously. I think I am following the middle school boys (what stole watches and socks the other night). I enter another clothes store and am walking around inside when I notice their security or associate following someone. He simply asks the person if he is going to buy something. At this point, I think I’ve lost who I was following or they are no longer an issue. Now, I am in the shopping mall, probably in a little communal area, with some unfamiliar? others. They are asking me if I got dirty or something like that. I look at the back of the pant leg on my Levi’s (that looks like mine but a little darker and newer) and there is a little bit of caked on mud. I think I’ve just washed them though, as the rest of them look clean. I glance up and notice that everyone in my view is wearing blue jeans of the same darker blue jean blue. Now, I am in some dim amphitheater-like room. There are large steps of stone and pebble that descend and end at a very small pool. I am running down these steps as well (possibly in slow motion?) At the end, I jump into the circular pool. While in midair, I had humorously asked if there were rocks at the bottom of the pool (concerned about my landing and impact). This pool could probably only fit four people comfortably, and it is between warm and lukewarm. There is a baby (in a diaper, I think)and one other in this pool. Now, I am driving. It looks like S. Virginia under the overpass, right before McCarran. I see multiple people in the street in front of me. They’re walking this way. Slightly annoyed, I’m going to change lanes to go around them to the right. Before I can, they sort of separate to give me room to get through. I notice that they have brooms or mops, so I slow to a stop by them and crack my window. The guy wants to wash my car. I say no and gesture by waving my hand in front of my neck. When I start to drive away, I see the rest of the group on the side of the road to the right. They look very sketchy, like prison-hardened. This impression is based on their face, neck, hand, and everywhere else tattoos, clothing, and also the look in their eyes. I feel bad for saying no because I don’t want them to feel bad or like I’m judging them. As I am driving off, I look at my hood and see that it is a little dusty but not really dirty. I am now on a more rural/residential road. There is snow, only on the houses and yards and not on the road. The area seems somewhat lower income; the houses are smaller and just slightly dilapidated, but nice enough. They are spaced nicely apart. It is sort of like I don’t really know where I am but do know where I’m going (or vice versa?). I now pull into the driveway of a house. This house is definitely unfamiliar, but I am walking up to its door and I have pliers or some sort of tool in my hand. There was a walkway in front of the house, to the right of the garage, leading to the front door. I don’t know what lives here, but I am going to go in. I think I am about to use the pliers when I hear someone coming to open the door. I throw the pliers to the side lawn as the door is being opened. The door opens, revealing an old woman. I am hoping she doesn’t notice the pliers lying on the grass. I am going inside with her now, and it is like she knows me. Behind the door she let me through is a foyer/entryway type area that seems to be outside but covered. It sort of then blends into the inside. She starts talking to me, and I think she thinks I’m her grandkid. I’d feel bad if that was the circumstance, but it almost feels like I am her grandkid. There is an old man in here, sitting at a computer. He says hi to me like he knows me too. We talk a bit, and I then realize it is Opa. I notice his eyes, and I notice his voice is the same. He is wearing blue sweatpants and has his feet up on the swivel chair. His mannerisms are exactly the same. I am about to leave now, as I think there’s something I have to do (write down this dream?), when Granny?/Reta shows up. Now I am kind of stuck here. We all talk for a bit until I can sneak outside. I walk outside to my car blocked into the driveway and Makayla just getting here. I notice Dad’s truck. The right side of the driveway is a bit more open, but I don’t think I could get out. Jon shows up now, wearing a sun hat, shorts, and a button up short sleeve. We’re all inside, a gathering of everyone, and I think I’ll be here a while.

I am doing an escape room with Melissa, Brooke, and possibly Breezy. This place looks like an actual house, with a few rooms that we can go into. The house seems very tidy and sort of minimalistic, though not without adornments, and has an antiquated feeling to it, as if lived in by an older person. I get the sense of some sort of travel theme, aided by a huge map of the world taking up almost a whole wall. We are trying to escape now, and it seems like I’m doing a lot of it. It’s not that they aren’t or can’t, it’s just that I can excel in a small group of familiar people. I end up moving a bunch of hanging paintings. One has a clue written in red ink on its back side. Many reveal a tiny, circular light bulb protruding from the wall behind. I imagine that these will all light up later and serve as a clue one way or another. I like that the clues flow easily, even if somewhat too easily, and aren’t disjointed. I had moved a small realistic painting of a brown bear (the bear on a slight incline, seemingly in motion, very realistic, and cropped fairly close). One clue mentioned something ‘dreary’, which we noticed with some excitement was referencing a very large and impressionistic painting of people that looked dreary indeed. (*As I write this, I think it may have been moving this painting that revealed the map). I think we are supposed to place small pins in certain spots on the map. The map is now gone? and there are just little holes in the white/tan wall. There seems to be three different clusters of holes, and I think the pin needs to be placed in the correct hole. Melissa guesses the first placement correctly, after which a recorded voice from a speaker tells us we’ve gotten it correct. We try the other ones but never get a response. I end up telling our situation the female employee on the other end of the radio. She’s quiet for a second and then I hear her say to someone else “I have no idea.” I also don’t really know what there is for them to do when a piece of the game simply isn’t working. At this point, I’m thinking we’ll just have them tell us the answers to this part. I also notice that Melissa and Brooke seem to be off doing something else. I hear them talking and laughing in another room. Then it becomes more quiet, and I go look. Melissa is laying in a small bed in an alcove in the wall just big enough for it. I notice a gap between the far and the wall along the head of the bed (which is reminiscent to me of the sleeping quarters on a boat). Melissa looks grumpy, her face sort of flushed and pouting, her gaze diverted. I go to kiss her but she moves so that we kiss each other on the cheek instead. At this point, I notice that her eyes are a little misty. I was what’s wrong and she keeps saying nothing, etc. I finally get it out of her that she’s upset that the puzzle room is not working as it’s supposed to. It irritates me because it’s such a trivial thing to let yourself get upset over. I go back into the other room now, and I don’t think we even have radio contact with this girl. She said she was going to call the shoe room? This room is behind the other. There’s a writing desk and an old corded phone that I see but never hear. While waiting, I start opening drawers, but find nothing. I’m wondering how much further this puzzle room will go into the house. I notice a bathroom and a room or two off of this one. I never do hear the phone. Earlier, I noticed a timer with a green ‘70’. I thought that meant we were doing really well on time.




I am at Walmart? with Melissa, buying only two things. We are at the end of what is apparently the only line, behind a family of four that looks nice enough but also a little privileged. The woman notices how we only have two items and offers for us to just throw it in with their stuff. I was going to use a gift card, and I’m not sure how much is on it exactly, so I’m not sure how that’d work.




I am outside of a grocery store. I run up to the entrance, pushing a cart, and ask the younger looking boy employee if they do valet, with an absurd touch of humor. I then leave the cart and run inside to retrieve what I’ve forgotten.




I am watching (on the news or some kind of video?) cars driving in both directions on a freeway through a snowstorm. Someone is commenting on how it’s almost been the worst winter when, sure enough, a car starts to drift and ends up impacting a school bus. Then school bus then takes out another vehicle and the whole thing exponentiates into an event that just made it the worst winter to date.

I am at work and entering the fitting room. I am not alone either; at least four other people are also entering at the same time. I notice a fairly dirty looking guy in his 20s and his female companion. He has long and shaggy brown hair (or dreads) and baggy clothes, and she has dark hair and pants and a somewhat skimpy purple tank top. The guy, with a sort of detached fervor, starts grabbing anything in reach on the folding tables (I notice a folded dress shirt) like he’s going to take them into the stall and steal them. I think he has not noticed that I work here. I say “hey man” kind of casually, which startles him and causes him to look guilty and remorseful. I think he leaves now, and I start checking the stalls. Most have a floor completely obscured by tried on and tossed clothes. One contains a man passed out or sleeping on the floor and amongst the clothes. I don’t even know what to do. Now I am helping ring up customers, and I notice the guy what was going to steal. He is actually buying a pair of black slacks.




I am with Melissa in a bed. I think we are just cuddling and talking. Now out of nowhere it begins to snow. Almost immediately the roads are covered. (It looks like downtown, like the street parallel to the river and behind the movie theater). I offer to give her a ride wherever so she doesn’t have to drive in it. I think it’s out of the way or will create a problem with where the cars are, but I don’t mind going out of my way. Now, I am driving us somewhere. I think Melissa says something about the speed, as if I’m going too slow. Right after, the car violently slides out and then corrects itself after a tense moment.




(I think this one was part of another dream that I can’t recall. It has a weird feeling to it). I’ve been watching a movie that is or is very similar to Hereditary. I have an image of Charlie’s decapitated head in my mind. It looks more animated and like it has more skin on the face, around the eyelids and lip areas. I think there is some distinct, enigmatic, seminal plot to this movie that I can’t stop thinking about.




I am sitting at Melissa’s kitchen table in the seat facing the sliding door. At least Carlos and one other family member is here. They’re talking about late puberty? (like in their early 20s). I lift my bare leg up so they can see the hair on it and say “I haven’t seen my legs since like fourth grade.” It elicits some chuckles. I then feel slightly self conscious about putting my bare foot on their table.

I am at a house. It seems like I may be staying here for a little while, as in a few nights. Andrea from high school is here too. I’m about to take a shower, and I find out, as she comes over at the same time, that she was about to too. I think there is some discussion, after which I end up taking a quick shower first. I am getting ready to go see a therapist? Mom and Makayla are coming with me, or at least are in the car. I think I’m driving. The landscape is sort of empty and drab. (*The following is not the best recollection, and almost seems like it was from another dream but like it fits with this one too). While talking with the woman therapist, I become angered with the inefficiency of the whole thing and end up beating her. (*This feels very gross to write; in the dream there didn’t seem to be too much emotion behind it, just simple physical contact).