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Fell asleep at: 10:43 PM

Woke up at: 6:00 AM


Dream:

Looking up random crap on my laptop, I begin to have thoughts of deja vu, "What if this is a dream?" I thought to myself. "That's ridiculous." I also pondered. But, I had to confirm my suspicions somehow. The internet is already a weird and, frankly, terrifying place, anything that seemed odd could be interpreted as 'expected'. So I just told myself I was dreaming, and I was.


Nothing specifically tipped me off to the nature of the dream itself. I just went with my 'gut instincts', luckily those gut instincts were correct. People didn't act like they should in the dream, places that I had never even seen before were just outside my neighborhood, but I digress.


I got up from my bed, when I realized that my vision was utter garbage. I told the dream to improve my vision, but to no avail. I try again, no dice. I went towards my desk and grabbed a comically oversized and uncomfortable pair of glasses, which helped a little bit. Then I try to fly. I begin to vibrate aggressively for a couple seconds before blasting through the roof. Somehow, I end up back in my room, unscathed and just as anxious.


My sister and her boyfriend open the door. I tell my sister ecstatically, "(No I'm not giving her name away), you're in a DREAM!!" She rolls her eyes (Of course), and her boyfriend just sorta shrugged it off. My other sister is also there, but for some odd reason, she's pregnant (This isn't the case in waking life). We walk out on the town upon my request.


There's this security guard lady who's checking people into a large building. She lets everyone else go and I go last. I try to phase through the gate, ubt she checks me in just as the gate opens for me. So, that didn't go so well.

We wind up in this train station/mall type area with a boatload of people all around. I try to follow my sister and her boyfriend through the crowded building, but increasingly lose distance. Then, out of the blue, a lady carrying a bazillion shopping bags and an overloaded shopping cart, all of which say "That's The Joke", comes barreling by.

I wake up right after that.



Notes:

1. This is actually the first extended lucid ream I had. Ever. It lasted about 20 or so minutes long and I didn't need to perform even one reality check along the way.

2. I kept the same level of lucidity throughout, and just sorta went along with the dream. I think it might've been a layer 2 or 3 lucid dream, which is astounding for me.

24 October 2017

I found myself back in front of the mall with only faint memories of what had happened last time. I stood before what appeared to be an empty pool. It was the hour of twilight. Something was wrong. The place was deserted. Not just the mall but the entire surrounding area. I entered the mall, it was dimly lit. I was overcome with this sudden feeling of dread. I looked around and my heart began to race. I couldn't calm down. Why couldn't I calm down? As I looked around I began to flashback to events that had taken place after I had left the dream realm. Apparently, a lot had happened in the short time I was away. Angelica Pickles was actually the leader of her own syndicate and all along her ultimate goal was to take over this mall. I had vague memories of gunfights and struggles but ultimately, Angelica came out on top. Apparently, the mall doubled as the city's primary water source, I guess it was some sort of water facility. And since Angelica controlled the water, she essentially controlled the city. I never did learn what Jenkins and his family had to do with all of this, though. I went back outside and saw what appeared to be a terminal at the end of the pool. The terminal was huge and resembled a tanning booth. When I opened the terminal, I saw a small space where a disc was supposed to go. Somehow in that moment, I was able to surmise that the disc that used to be there was some kind of "key" and this key-disc would unlock the cities water supply. I also surmised that the empty pool served as some sort of reservoir

As I looked around the mall I began to realize that I was dreaming. I was actually quite nervous since I knew that this place would be crawling with hostiles. I actually considered waking myself up. But then I remembered My Magic Watch. a handy tool I use and experiment with whenever I am having a lucid dream. First I checked my Social Status Indicator to make sure there weren't any hostiles in the area, then I decided to see if I couldn't use my watch to summon an ally to help me out. I looked down at my watch and pressed (what I hoped was) the 'help' button. Then I waited. I stood there for a while, periodically checking my Social Status Indicator. Then, to my relief, I saw a woman walking in my direction. Not only was she naked but her skin was completely transparent except for her face which was paper white. She had short brunette hair. I never got her name so I will call her "Kenda" a name that means "Clear."

I don't remember how but we found ourselves in what appeared to be a school within the mall. And we were chasing Angelica down. Unfortunately, Angelica was fast, we couldn't get her. Then Kenda ran off in a different direction. She did not say anything but I knew what she was planning, she was going to get ahead of Angelica and flank her. I continued to chase Angelica down the hall, then down a flight of stairs until finally, Kenda came darting out from behind a corridor ahead of Angelica and cold-cocked her. Angelica was down for the count. I grabbed the key-disc off of Angelica's person and let out a sigh of relief. It was over.

A little later, I found Kenda rummaging through one of the school lockers. I don't remember what she said but I do remember thanking her for her help. I remember we connected for a moment. She opened up to me and told me about the stake she had in this (I don't remember the specifics). I asked her if she would like to come with me to the terminal and do the honors of putting the key-disc back where it belonged. She politely declined and explained that she had her own business to attend to. After she left, Angelica showed up and, to my amazement, she admitted that she was wrong to do all that she had done. She apologized for everything, the false accusation, the hostile takeover, and all the pain that she had caused. I could tell that she was genuinely contrite. I commended her for her turn-around. We wished each other well and then I headed out. As I was walking through the mall I saw Kenda again. She was in a hall lined with clear tubes.
Within these tubes were people with transparent skin just like her. It appeared as though their bodies were literally being regenerated as I saw various organs and body parts materializing. I surmised that these were friends that Kenda had lost in the battle against Angelica and her crew but now that Angelica has been defeated, she was able to bring her friends back. I smiled, I was happy for her.

I walked outside to where the terminal was and saw that more people from the city were waiting there. Apparently, word had spread that Angelica had been defeated and now people had gathered to celebrate the return of their water supply.
I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty stoked. This was by far the longest and most epic lucid dream I have had yet and now I would get to see this story to completion. As I walked towards the terminal with the key-disc in hand, victory music began to play in the background. I opened the terminal, placed the key-disc where it belonged, and closed the terminal. In that moment, blue streaks of light began to emanate from the terminal and travel all throughout the mall, signifying that the water supply had been unlocked. It truly was a magnificent sight as the victory music picked up and everyone cheered.
Unfortunately, the excitement was a little too much for me. I woke up shortly thereafter.

I went ahead and decided to compose the victory music I heard. I'm trying to get good I remembering the songs I hear. Here it is: https://soundcloud.com/ghostchild191/water

2017, 07-03

Blind Photos
I am with a couple other women at a national park of some kind. We are there to put together photos for a project we’re doing. One of the women with me has a nice camera to do the photography with. We start on the tour, which involves following a path along the edge of a deep canyon. There are beautiful sights all around, tall cliffs, green forested areas, and far below there is a river glistening in the sunlight. We walk for a while and the woman with the camera is taking a lot of photos. I notice something that we should make sure to get a photo of. It’s a section of the cliff on the other side of the canyon that somehow has created the illusion that the rock itself is flowing like a waterfall. The woman with the camera doesn’t seem to care. When she isn’t using the camera, I take it and then I take a photo of the strange rock phenomena. The woman gets mad at me for taking her camera. I am annoyed but I return it, I am annoyed because I thought we were all supposed to help with this project. We go back to the entry area at the park and the woman with the camera meets up with a man in a doctor coat. They are discussing how to cure her blindness… but if she’s blind then how was she taking photos? I am thinking about that when I wake up.


It’s Time to Duel!
I am in an apartment or small house that is not my own. I am there sitting in a bedroom with my ex-boyfriend James. I am looking through some YuGiOh cards and pulling some of them out to use in a new deck idea I have. I am actually choosing cards without much real idea of how they will work together. As I am doing that James comes over and starts looking at the cards I have chosen. He looks through them and makes comments about my choices. I tell him to mind his own business. I know I will have to duel against him in the tournament and I don’t like the idea he is getting a sneak peek at all of my cards. He will know exactly what to expect, and I count that as cheating. He insists he is only trying to help. I decide to leave and make my deck on my own. I take my cards and get in my car to drive home. I think maybe I can stop at Walmart and buy more cards, and if I get something good I can add it to my deck to give James an unexpected surprise. I pull into Walmart and park, going into the store. The rows of shelves are like a maze, and I am not sure where to find the YuGiOh cards. I am looking at some transforming Star Wars action figures that caught my eye when I wake up.

 
Free Cash
I am in the mall by myself. I look around, not sure why I have come to the mall right now. I walk down one of the paths and look at the stores along the way. The halls make the mall more of a maze than a normal mall. I keep following the different hallways and now I am mainly looking to find a way out of this crazy place. There are other people shopping in the mall but they seem oblivious to the idea the mall’s layout is anything other than normal. I turn down another hall and I see something on the ground. When I get closer I see it’s a small stack of cash. I pick the stack up and glance around, no one is paying any attention to me. I keep going down the hall and I find a nook with some seats in it. There is no one else there so I sit down and start counting my money. To my disappointment they are all $1 bills. The bills are as crisp and new as if they were just printed today. I count through them and determine I probably have about $50. While it’s disappointing that they’re singles, finding $50 is nothing to spit on. I get up and slide the money into my pocket. I still had to find a way out of this crazy mall. I go back out into the main hall but then everything around me fades to black and I wake up.

2017, 06-14

A Song of Healing

I am at a mall with my mother. It’s similar to a mall in my local area, but not exact. I know I have been to this mall before, however, in previous dreams. No thought that I might be dreaming occurs to me now. My mom and I are going into a clothing store and looking for some new clothes for me for work. I look around but I can’t find anything I like that will actually fit me. So we leave and head for the theater at the mall where there is a live performance of Harry Potter, and the author J.K. Rowling is even going to be in attendance for this presentation. We go to the theater and wait in line to go inside. Once inside I see J.K. Rowling surrounded by people asking for her autograph. I also see someone I don’t want to see… so instead of waiting to try to get J.K. Rowling’s autograph I pull my mom into the theater to get a good seat, or that’s the reason I give her for my hurry.

In the theater there are already quite a few people seated so my mom and I pick a spot. I look around and see quite a few people with popcorn and I think that would be good, but the person after me knows my mom and might see her if she goes for popcorn so I say I don’t want any when she asks. People keep coming into the theater and I watch carefully to see if the man outside is coming in. I don’t see him. I look to the front of the theater and I see a different man looking at me. He clearly recognizes me. And somehow I know he works for the man who is looking for me. I look to my mom but she is gone. Another man comes over and says to remain calm. He says he’s a friend and will make sure I get out of here safely. He gives a dirty look at the man up front who is watching me.

The man beside me looks under my seat and finds poison darts. He asks the man watching us what the poison would do to me. He says it would land me in the emergency room. I say it would be lethal if I drank all four of them. The man beside me says no, don’t talk like that. Another man, a fat man in an oversized t-shirt, comes over and takes one of the darts from the man beside me. He says he hasn’t tried this yet, and breaks the cartridge open and drinks some of the fluid inside. He looks like he’s getting high off of it. I look back at the man beside me and then I hear a woman a couple rows back let out a cry. I look just in time to see J.K. Rowling collapse in shock. I look to see what she saw and I see the man who drank the poison now has no nose, it looks like it melted off his face, but he looks higher than ever.

The man beside me urges me to get out of here. I head out of the theater but on the way I lose track of him, and then I am in the hall of the mall alone. I head down the hall, looking for a bathroom. I open a door and find myself in someone’s house. A woman is there and she looks pissed at me. I think she is pissed because I just walked into her house, so I turn to leave but the door to the mall is gone. The woman starts yelling at me and demanding to know if I’m sleeping with him. I ask who. She says MoSh, of course! She says I’ve been fucking him, haven’t I?! I tell her MoSh wouldn’t want to get involved with me, I’m too old for him. Then I realize what is happening… this must be Asuka, I was going to heal her! I focus on the song Voices from the Macross Plus soundtrack. Light energy flows through Asuka and she calms down. She says she doesn’t know why she said what she did. I tell her it was unstable negative energies. I am about to say more but everything fades to black and I wake up.

Not much to be said here. I found myself in the men's room at my local mall. I was looking in the mirror that was mounted on the door and noticed that my hair looked like it had been cut recently. That wasn't right. My hair had been cut weeks ago and was already growing back. This can't be right unless...

I realized I was dreaming and was unsure as to what to do. I'm not sure why but I went ahead and decided to send an email on my phone to a familiar that I met in a previous dream. She never responded so I walked through the mall looking around for anything out of the ordinary I made it the escalator at the other end of the mall and decided to turn back only to find that a rock band had materialized behind me. There stacks of records blocking that hall so I was unable to go back the way I came.

That's all that happened. Then I woke up.

These are some rough notes I threw together. I may try to clean it up later and add some pictures.

Finish 30 minute WBTB and BTB around 430am *Several times I think I woke but didn't look at phone/time in order to give me best chance to keep going back in. Finally do look at phone at 637am and am dumbfounded at amount of lucidity and scenes and time lucid! Some waning of lucidity but often quickly recovered and seems like at least 90% of the time and experiences that I remember were lucid.

Letter tags: HMS HM_? House mall stars hands 2nd m? 6th letter tag? May be one of the scenes below.

Seems not more than 10 minutes of SSILD and I start with, what I told myself during one of the FA's, must have been an NREM lucid. It was short maybe 1 minute and very basic mostly dark but interacting with a woman. It leads to multiple FA's each one different. Several were in a busy house with lots of kids and a few adults. Hands clasp from IWL in bed become hands in bind by girl trying to free my hands. House party like. Outdoor patio girl, wife voice, both can have me! Later indoor house gathering (one of several house scenes) with an older lady still beautiful and I tell her I'll make her young again and morph massage her face and it works in the end with odd results along the way. When I finish I see a female, her niece it seems, with her back to us. She has long curly black hair and I gently take her and lead them both to a bedroom. Mall ladies sex and after a while of that I say I need to do the TOTY, car one sounds good. I try to form a car inside the mall main way but it never becomes solid enough so I look toward an exit and see a whole street of cars parked parallel, not the typical big parking lot you'd see outside of a surburban mall. I see a maybe late 80's Honda that has seen better days but it was the first car I really focused on. I open hood just from front of car but do reach my finger in for the typical final release lever under hood and open hood, it stays open and I reach in and grab the whole engine block and all and rip it out easily like picking up an empty cardboard box. I think about breaking the window with my elbow but I am able to just open the door. I decide keys will be under the visor and yes one key on small key chain tab. I stick the key into the on position and start driving like a maniac. Very quickly transitions from asphalt to dirt trail on a hillside area that brings back memories of bmx trails. I get to a top look out point and see 8-10 guys in bathing trunks just below me maybe 20 feet. Maybe they're heading to a hidden beach below. At first I guess a couple of them near the back of group look gay but as they gather it doesn't seem like anything sexual, just a bunch of guys who may even want a lone guy to beat up on. No worries though, this is my dream. I call down to them to look up at me and shoot off into the sky quickly. It becomes night and I float in the sky and marvelling at the stars. They look fairly normal but a beautiful experience none the less. Visuals fade after a minute or so and I spin in the air, still a black void, so spin few more and a FA. / some busy outdoor area at night sexual with several girls. Also at Mall and at house scenes. Unbelievable! I just keep going from scene fade to scene fade after early part where it was from FA to FA. Also Vegas casino hotel with wife she found which hotel, nice but great deal, lucidity fading, maybe gone for this final scene before waking. I am forgetting so many details. I was setting reminders in the new scenes and I have whispy memories of what those reminders were but still trying to grab them fully - I'm sure I haven't caught them all. Lots of solid, vivid dreamlets including snow falling on a couple in dark brown or black winter long coats.

I haven't put any focus on WILDs in quite some time but was motivated to mix attempts back in the last 2 nights, but only after doing my MILD to increase chances of my fairly trusty DILDs if the WILD fails. At BTB I do location-aha-MILD first, followed by face to face, clear view release and some REM eye movement simulation (4 eye sweeps behind closed eyelids). The face to face and REM simulation are found to be the most efficient method of losing the feel of my waking body. I get a good number of color and pattern HH's, followed by some that resemble objects and people, followed by dreamlets. At those first two stages I was able to use a technique of "reaching" for additional senses related to the items more than just the visual: primarily tactile and temperature, but sometimes sounds and smells that match with the visual. I didn't remember to try taste. For the third stage where I was getting dreamlets I found that I had to become more passive it seemed because I was finding my senses return to my waking body or perhaps within an FA. I didn't test it, assuming FA's and decided I did need to be more passive during these dreamlets, perhaps wrongly. I know passive is generally recommended but since I have a fair bit of experience with WILDs I feel more inclined toward the active side of the scale. Anyway, I end up in an FA and then an actual waking or FA where I go for a WILD.

I am naked in bed with my wife and for some reason my mother in law is there and I seem to be semi-lucid at this stage but as more people arrive I seem to drop below semi-lucid and get caught up in the dream. I see this commercial anti-bacterial spray I have looked for in the past and ask the guy where he got it without a good answer. I either wake or have another FA in my normal bed/scenario and go for a DEILD but feels more like a WILD with HH's and back to reaching for additional senses tied to the HH visuals. After some fading in and out of HHs I get a more steady one that looks most like a cave opening at first and imagine some cooler air emanating from it. It develops into a a vague looking canyon and then to a canyon formation like you might see in Arches National Park with a double arch entrance to a canyon opening where both "arches" were relatively flat on their top sides but the bottom "arch" had an arch shape to it whereas the top "arch" was also relatively flat across the bottom as well. This was all in a brightly lit daylight scene once the arches formed. This morphed from more of a natural formation to something purposely built like you might see in a sci-fi set on a canyon-like planet. I want to go there but it seems my dream body is still forming so I use intent with my eyes to start moving in that direction and I reach for the sensation of the wind on my face and body and it feels like a slightly cool breeze and I am now flying in my dream body. As I get to the canyon "entrance" I land due to the low clearance and find my self alternating between walking and crawling in a very cool scene that seems a lot like a dry cave but tons of light coming in on the far side that I want to get to and also light coming from the side I came in on. It was a very cool place to explore, but I love caves and canyons. It also reminded me of some of my favorite lucid dreams like the wall and childhood "treasures" found on the beach of the grassy sea (posted in my DJ on DV somewhere a good ways back). As I get to the end of the low clearance I fly up and out to the next bend in the canyon and think of one of the TOTM's and decide that an alien spaceship will be the right around the bend but nothing is there. I then decide it will be at the top of this canyon wall to my left and I fly up to the top of it and there it is a huge mega spaceship with an outer shell that is made up of many circular metal panels with lattice work in between, perhaps 100 circular panels on the side of the ship that I can see. I fly into the lattice work and I feel myself being pulled further into the craft with a fade to darkness at first but soon after a bright long and fairly wide hall appears that looks like a mall with humans walking around and a food place to my right. Perhaps the scenario is that the dream aliens created an environment where I would feel comfortable but I proceeded to treat it just like any dream scene. I tried to slow down one lady passing by, but she seemed in a hurry and I look ahead down the hallway/walkway of the "mall" and see a tall beautiful lady that looks slightly not of this world with her unusually big and stunningly attractive eyes.
(eyes were wider and bigger but this is close)
After the experience with the previous lady I made sure I would be able to stop her in her tracks by creating the back story of: "Finally we are reunited! It has been so long!" grasping both of her hands face to face and giving her a big wet kiss. I feel myself getting rather excited but I remember to calm down. I think of another TOTM, the pencil one and tell her I have something to show her and reach in my back pocket but coming up empty handed. I then ask her if she has a pencil and she pulls one out of her purse and I try to float it in the air in front of me and it disappears. I then walk over to the food place and ask the guy behind the counter for a pencil and he gives me one. I see an order stub on the counter and float the pencil with the tip touching the paper and tell it to draw something and it starts doodling. It looks like nothing more than a toddler's drawing but as I look closer, it looks like it morphs into words on the order stub. I wake and quickly use the bathroom in order to get back to dreaming, this time RCing to make sure I'm actually awake. I jot down a few keywords from the dream and a few quick drawings of the canyon arches and the alien craft lattice work and go back to bed, forgetting to write down the words that I remembered.

After playing with HH's for a while and deciding to doze off, I get a dream where the wife asks me where one of the bills is and if it has been paid. I said that I think I filed it already but I can check on the computer if I paid it. At the computer, the keyboard is missing and I ask my wife if she's seen it but then I find the keyboard unplugged and sitting on top of the computer desktop tower. I feel someone tugging on me in darkness and I realize I must have fallen asleep, maybe in front of the computer. Either way I treat the tugging as HHs not waking life and a scene forms where I am at an office elevator and a woman is asking me for directions. Already aware that I am dreaming I decide to see where the elevator takes me just like in last night's lucid, with a little excited anticipation. I don't remember anything but going up in the elevator before waking up needing to pee again and I decide to get up for the day.

Last night's (non-lucid) dream was pretty cool. I was in heaven, in a field, so apparently I had died or something. Two guys there were trying to move from heaven to hell. As to why they would want to do that, I have no idea! Then, there were two ladies there who wanted to move from heaven to Earth instead.

I suppose this particular heaven wasn't all that exciting.

Somehow, in their efforts to travel back to earth, they managed to take me with them. I felt like I was waking up into the land of the living, and suddenly we were in some restaurant located inside of a shopping mall. The two girls were really nice, and I talked to them a bit, but I honestly don't remember why they wanted to go back to Earth. I think they said they had "unfinished business" or something.

There was also a guy with a dog that was performing in a show or something. It's a bit fuzzy in my memory though.

Then, we all got on an elevator to go down to a lower floor. The guy with the dog was on it too. There were a lot of people in said elevator, but it was very large and roomy so it didn't feel crowded. It was a glass elevator, so you could see the lower floors of the mall. Anyway, there was a needle of some sort laying on the ground.

And get this: It moved of its own accord, and immediately began stabbing me. I actually felt the pain. My mind immediately jumped to the conclusion that some sort of organization had built this needle to...do something malicious. But I don't remember what! :')

That faded, and I was outside in a nice neighborhood with some large houses, some of which were under construction. There was a large crowd of people walking towards one of them -- I think the one that was being constructed -- and I remember a pretty girl with a pink strapless blouse, which had a pattern of diamond shapes on it in a variety of colors. She was pale and neither skinny nor overly heavy -- just perfect.

The last thing my dream journal says is "something else as part of dream." I don't remember what that something was, though. I was starting to get really tired and had less than an hour before waking up, so I just went back to sleep I think.

Ritual: I'm coming out of my longest dry spell yet, but it was clearly a problem of motivation. Even when I had the superficial motivation to LD (I always do), the deeper motivation that makes it actually work was thwarted. In time I came to recognize the reason for this. At the end of last semester I started talking to a colleague that I knew was very interested in dreams. Even though their interest had been shaped by Freudian principles, I ventured to reveal my interest in (and practice of) lucid dreaming in the hope that we might have an interesting dialogue across perspectives. Well, the colleague promptly stopped talking to me, and I was so annoyed and embarrassed that it took a terrible toll on my dreaming. Not just lucidity—even the quality of my NLDs and my ability to remember them faded drastically. And even after I finally diagnosed what was causing the problem, I couldn't seem to dismantle the emotional block. I would just get irritated whenever I thought about it. I think this combined with the natural cyclic tendencies of my dream practice—I have too many interests and hobbies so all of them seem to wax and wane at various points to make room for one another—but hopefully my dreaming is now on the verge of a comeback. I can't think of a better New Year's resolution.

I went to bed early last night (11pm) hoping that would help to get lucid, and for good measure spent some time browsing DV. I woke up a few times during the night and it seemed like it was going to be a bust, since I barely had any dream impressions. But the last dream I had before waking (at around 7:45am) was lucid and controlled and clear, if not ultimately successful in completing my intended task.

DILD, "Making Rainbows": I was in a warehouse-like space with tall shelves crammed with every imaginable object, though everything looked old and used. I was having a conversation with someone about the place, though I don't feel like there was anyone walking with me; I think I was speaking aloud, but the other person was answering in my mind. I was observing that many of my own dreams (the comparison suggests that I did not yet recognize this as my own dream) included environments just like this, crammed full of objects, often taking the form of stores, libraries, archives. I proposed the hypothesis that these kind of object-archives were a metaphor for the mind, for the way it stores impressions or information. I wondered if I could put that idea to the test. (This idea suggests that I did recognize that I was in a mentally-constructed environment. What did I think it was, if not my own dream? Maybe the dream of the person I was talking to.)

This next section is ambiguous in that I can't be sure if I had the name and was looking for the object or holding the object and was looking for its name or shelf location, but it was definitely a matching exercise between object and name. The object was a tool of some kind, flat strips of somewhat oxidized metal bent into a particular configuration with a short chain attaching some sort of polygonal fastener. It vaguely resembled one of those old metal spring traps, but not exactly, and its function was unclear. I had never seen or heard of such a thing, but I learned that it was called a "streng." I either got the name at the outset from the voice I was talking to and then found the object, or (and I think this is more likely since I have memories of holding the object as I walked), picked up a random object and then had to find out its name by looking for its shelf. But this is a false dichotomy... dreams don't always divide so neatly between what, in waking light, seem like the logical possibilities.

At any rate, I was putting the idea of this warehouse as a kind of memory archive to the test by trying to match an object with its name. The mental effort took, I reasoned, as long as it actually took me in the dream to find the shelf. Given that it sometimes takes me a day or more to recover some sought-after piece of information from memory, this doesn't seem too far-fetched. I'm sure my archives are, like my physicial spaces tend to become, terribly cluttered with extraneous matter, making it hard to find anything. I actually commented at one point, looking at all the crap on the shelves, "I can't stand to throw anything away." But the details that make this whole exercise less plausible as a valid hypothesis of mental functioning was the object itself: neither the name "streng" nor the metal object it described corresponded with anything in waking life. The whole process seems at best to have been metaphorical.

After this improvised task was complete, I wondered what to do next and remembered, sinced I'd just browsed DV before bed, that I still had a couple unfinished TOTY. At this point it occurred to me that if I'm now taking conscious control of my intentions and the dream environment, I must be lucid, but it didn't feel like there had been any qualitative change in my mental state. Rather, the difference between being non-lucid and lucid seemed in this case to come down primarily to whether I was acting spontaneously within the structure of the dream (as in my former task) or whether I was accessing memories and intentions that I had earlier established with waking consciousness.

I wondered if I should try basilisk or leprechaun, and decided on the latter. Its no wonder that I'm stuck on these last two. I think I have a mental block against leprechauns because my mental imagery is composed primarily of cheesy cereal commercials; maybe that's why I have yet to actually meet one. Meanwhile I keep avoiding basilisk because it explicitly instructs killing DCs, which I am reluctant to do. I have no problem killing NPCs in RPGs and computer games, or experimenting with different ethical alignments in those environments, but dream feels different, like the stakes are higher. I'm not sure why. At any rate, given the options, I went with leprechaun again.

Would it be possible to create a rainbow indoors? I thought it over and figured that in dream, that should be entirely reasonable. And even though the shelves in this warehouse were only a bit over head-high, the ceiling itself was vastly higher overhead: the space was huge. So I started trying to conjure a rainbow. At first nothing happened. I put my hands together in front of me, touching at the sides with the palms up, and tried to use this as a focus to create a rainbow directly from my hands, arcing upward. I managed a weak one a few times, but they quickly fizzled out.

A young girl, maybe eight years old with blonde hair, noticed what I was doing and approached with an offer to help. "Sure," I said. I don't remember exactly what form her help took, she might have just added her concentration to my own, but with it my rainbows were getting better. I managed to make one finally that had bright colors, though there were only four of them and they were oddly separated into tube-like strips resembling neon lights, and shining with the same fluorescent intensity. Good enough for the task? I gazed at it critically, annoyed that there were only four colors. In response, the second tube from the left split down the middle and became two different colors. Good enough, I figured, and started looking for the end of the rainbow. But then that one flickered out, too.

Every time a rainbow failed, I regrouped and tried to improve my concentration. The four-color failure made me realize I needed to focus on what the colors of a rainbow actually were, so I started chanting them as I concentrated: "Red orange yellow blue indigo and violet...." I had a hard time keeping them in the right order, and after I woke up I realized that I had completely left out "green," an interesting difficulty given that while awake, I can easily and accurately recite the colors of the rainbow without a second thought.

The little girl continued in her role as my assistant, and now that I was working on the getting the colors straight we managed to produce a bright, very proper-looking rainbow. Best of all, it touched the floor right in front of us, so all we had to do was dig, presumably, to find the leprechaun and his gold. But no sooner had we rushed up to the spot than the rainbow disappeared again. This was getting annoying.

Just then I became aware of a commotion in the building. We were now standing outside one wide entrance to the warehouse, which opened onto what looked like an atrium of a shopping mall, still an enclosed space but walled with plate glass windows. People were rushing over to the windows in excitement, and through the windows I could see the people outside down below (we were around four storeys up) moving in the same direction.

The view through the glass looked out over an urban street and the row of buildings on the far side, beyond which the city ended at steep brown hills of nearly barren rock and earth. Everyone inside with us was pointing and staring at the hills, or hurrying outside to get closer to them, and the moment I looked out the window I could see why. An extraordinary rainbow had spontaneously appeared outside, and its end was clearly visible where it touched the side of one of the hills. The rainbow actually resembled the four-colour neon one that we had created earlier, but this one was exceedingly large and bright.

The hills were probably at least a mile away and too steep to climb by foot, so I knew I would have to fly. I started pushing out the large square glass panes in the wall above me, wondering if this was the most efficient way to leave the building, or if I should just walk the thirty yards or so to the exit everyone else was taking. (The exit occupied the space to our right that had formerly led into the warehouse, which was no longer visible.) The exit led onto a sort of sky bridge that crossed the road, so it would also be a fine place to take off from. I chastised myself for wasting mental energy deciding between trivialities and decided to just continue with the window.

After pushing out four panes to make a larger square, I grabbed the girl's hand and asked, "Have you ever flown before?" She shook her head. "Well, hold on tight." I levitated both of us up and through the space I had made. I did not feel physically obstructed by the metal frame that criss-crossed between the four panes of glass I had removed, though I felt a bit annoyed by the way I had so blithely floated through it. It felt careless. I mean, why bother taking out the glass at all if I was just going to pass ghost-like through the frame? I realized that again, I was letting myself getting bogged down with unnecessary and unhelpful mental baggage, but I've never felt comfortable "cheating," even in dream.

We flew high over the street and buildings bordering the city, and I realized how startling the experience of flight must be to someone who was unaccustomed to it. Indeed, the girl felt very tense at my side, and murmured plaintively, "I want to sit down." I felt it would be cruel to ignore her terror, so as soon as we cleared the city, I aimed for a flat outcropping of rock at the base of the hills. We came down fast and landed hard, much harder than I had ever landed when flying on my own, so I attributed it to her fear weakening my own buoyancy. As soon as we landed, I asked her, "Are you alright continuing?" She shook her head and I prepared to take off on my own, but even as my feet left the ground I felt myself waking up and was unable to forestall it.

I was in some kind of bookstore and was looking at some manga. The manga I was looking at was kinda... erotic, for some reason, but I was really enjoying it. I put it next to some other manga and begin browsing and looking at different stuff when I realise I can't find the other one anymore and was desperate because I really wanted that one. I asked some guys next to me for help until I eventually became lucid. What did I do then, you ask? Well... I kept looking for the darn thing. I tried using voice commands (something like "The book I want is gonna float towards me" stuff like that) but nothing worked. I asked the guys what their favorite ones were, in hopes I find something better than the other one. They started talking about manga they liked and gave them to me, but they weren't what I was looking for at all.

Eventually I realized I was wasting time and decided to focus. I realize I was in some kind of shopping mall. For some reason, I couldn't fly. I remembered reading something about stabilizing and how it makes dream control better, so I stabilized the dream by doing RCs and told myself I was sleeping and creating this dream and could do anything. It didn't do much, as I couldn't fire laserbeams from my fingertips (which was something I wanted to do... I guess) nor could I fly for some reason. I decided that didn't matter as I didn't need to fly for my goal, which was finding a mirror, asking my dream to take me somewhere interesting and enter it. Whenever I want to enter a mirror, there is always one nearby. I looked around and there was a huge one in a nearby section of the mall that looked like a shoe store.

I got close to the mirror, rubbed my hands, and was already phasing my hands through it when I remembered I had to say the command.

"Dream, take me somewhere interesting, please."

With that, I fully entered the mirror and found myself in some kind of rooftop in a urban area. To my left there was a huge window to big, empty factory/storage of some kind. Looking around, I could see the rooftops of different houses and I think some buildings in the distance. I couldn't see the streets from where I was. This place wasn't what I was expecting at all, so I turned around and asked my dream, again, to take me somewhere interesting, but I specified that I didn't want just some generic city area. I floated up to a window with a dark tint (apparently, that's where I came from) and noticed I could kinda see through it. In this area there was also some kind of loud, constant noise in the background, like a really loud air conditioner. I phased through the window and ended up in a similar area. It was like I was in a room of an destroyed, abandoned or unfinished building. No roof or walls, save for the one the window was in. I didn't really look around the area since I was kinda annoyed and wanted to try entering a mirror one more time. However, the dream started fading and I was trying to think how I could bring it back. I think I tried to stabilize somehow but woke up and tried to stay still for DEILD, but I was sleeping for so long already (almost 10 hours) that I was too awake and didn't feel like staying there trying to deild, so I jut got up.

PE lesson

I was in my old school, I left changing room and went to sports hall. We had a new PE teacher. I was just about to enter the sports hall when I noticed that I don't have one of my shoes on, and the other had an enormous hole in it. I passed by students from other class and entered the hall. The teacher took some old shoes from a cardboard box and gave them to me. I took them on and started tying them.

Failed WBTB attempt

A favor

With two classmates we were in a city, wandering around blocks of flats. It was a sunny but cold day. We were going to a house of some girl one of classmates wanted to invite to a prom. We got outside her flat, there was some dark haired girl outside, standing with her mother. Classmate asked me to do him a favor and ask her mother if her daughter will go with him to a prom. I went to that mother and asked "Could your daugter go on a prom..." She cut in and asked me about her name. I didn't knew it and stood there in silence. After a while I explained "Well, I'm doing a favor for a friend who is too shy to ask her out." She said "I see..." I went back to these two dudes and suddenly we heard a voice shouting through megaphone. Her mother was angry at us.

Waterslide DILD

I woke up in a bed in other room than usually, confused. I felt as if I wore a jacket, but when I moved my hand over my body but haven't felt any jacket. I started suspecting that this might be a dream and made a nose-plug RC. It confirmed that it was a lucid dream. I got out of the bed and moved towards doors. I used them to teleport outside. It was really early morning but it wasn't that dark. I was standing on the middle of the road, completely naked. Staring at the way the road led, I got an idea to make a waterslide. I jumped on the ground and created a wildly flowing stream of water flowing along the road. I slided across whole village, increasing or decreasing flow of water until I got close to my friends house. There was an enormous shopping mall in the middle of the road. It looked like it was just recently open for business. I entered it, it was really dark inside. In the darkness I could see all the clothes shops - there were only clothes shops with mannequins. I clapped my hands expecting the claps to turn lights on, but it wasn't working. I got a wild thought that these mannequins could turn alive and attack. I immediately got a feeling that I'm surrounded, that thousands of them stare at me at the same time, I felt lost. I managed to calm myself and stabilise the dream a bit, thinking "Wait, they can't even turn alive if I don't allow them to do so!" I continued along the shop. Suddenly I lost lucidity.

Mirror DILD

I woke up in a bed in another room again. Immediately I realised that it's a dream and made a nose-plug RC to confirm it. I got out of bed and moved to hallway, there was a huge mirror hanging on a wall. I waved my hand in attempt to telekinetically smash it, but it only made the dream much less stable. The reflection in the mirror showed the hallway in strong moonlight. I woke up.

I was in a mall, holding a shopping list in my hand. First position on the list were potatoes, so I went to the vegetables section and started to sort which potatoes were good enough to take. Suddenly a dark haired woman in mid thirties appeared. She was wearing a flowery dress. She asked me about something in German language. I couldn't fully understand her and asked what she wanted in English. First she asked me about price of the potatoes, then wanted me to show her when the checkout is. I led her to that place - there was a really long crowd. She slightly pushed me into the crowd and we made our way to the checkout window. A short haired, blonde dude without one eye. I was angry at him for some reason, started shouting and tried to punch him. Then the security appeared and thrown that dude out, as he wasn't even hired in that place. I led the german woman to checkout and went back to my shopping. It was really late already so I went to potatoes stand again, but then I heard that the shop is about to close. I went to checkout assistant and paid 0,5 PLN for whole shopping - which due to helping the woman was limited to a few bread loaves. Then I checked my pocket and realised that I don't have my phone. I asked workers if they'd let me inside for a little longer so I can find it. They agreed and I wandered the dark shopping mall. I found a Samsung phone, but it wasn't mine. I turned on flashlight in it and searched again. When I found nothing, I decided to leave the mall and get back home. A walk through doorway was enough to bring me back home. I turned on that phone.

First dream

I was in a huge city, parking my car in shopping mall's parking. It was summertime and I drove there to visit my mother in her new workplace. I couldn't find myself a suitable spot to park. When I finally found it I left it and entered the mall. It was heavily crowded. I met my previous teacher, but she was thirty years older. An elderly woman with completely white hair. She was wearing a dress with strange patterns. We talked for a while. Someone was laughing from me, I felt that the whole mall is full of people I didn't liked. After a long while I finally met my mother, but she had to work. I left her and decided to get into my car and drove away. On the way to the parking I heard and saw people I knew and didn't liked very much, gathered into one place and watching me, laughing. I got nervous and run towards my car, kicking someone on the way. When I finally entered the car, I decided to check where's nearby computer store.

Second dream

I was testing a computer game of my design, checking how combat moves combination work. I was wandering around volcanic lands, fighting with monsters.

I am in a large building, a mall. It seems to have two primary sections that consists of a tower like structure including a parking cellar. Between the two tower sections is an elongated section of one or two stories, there are cafés and similar non-hard-goods shops. It is dark, there are a lot of people around that I know. We are there for the bar environment – it is as if it has a clubbing space inside one of the towers towards the ground floor. I am slightly on edge, flaky and restless – though not in a debilitating or severe way. The affective state I think is a result of me being confused about the interior of the building I am having a hard time finding my way about.

In the clubbing area there is a mixture of objects, some that seem to create a square or night-time-economy like feel, like outdoor lamps, signs tables and chairs. But there are also couches and fabric based furniture. There is a dim, but warm light surrounding the place, though the outside bar I am headed towards seem to be illuminated more intensely than the rest of the place. Kaiser is at the bar, I think he is waiting for his father to arrive. I go to sit down.

There are a few instances that occur, though I know not the temporal order.

The first is a reminder that I will have to get out cash, specifically pounds, as it will be easier to pay in the bars and shops if I have maybe 20-30 quid.

I am walking about in the overall mall structure – aware of the two towers layout – but I am confused as to where to go. I seem to find a lot of hallways meant to be behind the shop facades.

I am on the top of one of the towers. The light is grey, dusk. I am on a circular parking lot. There is a huge swing door providing entry to the mall, though it also seems like it is for the cars parked there.

I am walking around the circular lot. There are a lot of ethnic minorities – young people – walking about. They are wearing loose clothing, sweat pants and hoodies and generally seem to come across like gang related individuals. I feel anxious, on edge – constantly monitoring my surroundings to check if they will be attacking or approaching me – paranoid. I keep walking around and I start seeing people looking at me. In particular I remember two people wlking from the peripheral ring towards the centre of the tower, they glance at me and they seem intent on me as well.

Then a car come driving in – it is a light blue, almost turqoise or maybe that is the colour of the parked car, maybe both of them are this colour – and it rams into the side of a parked car. From my perspective there is no doubt it is deliberate. The driver gets out and approach the parked car's owner. I don't see a lot more. I turn around, anxious to get away, I start making my way around the lot towards the swing door entry. As I am making my way around I notice some obstructive structures, like spokes between the centre and the peripheral. As I am walking I notice that by now all the people are looking at me and walking towards me at a slow, but steady pace. And so I speed up and make my way inside.
….

When inside the dream shift theme. I am now in a dorm, a row of beds standing on both sides of the room. It is rather bright and everything in the room is pretty much white. I get the sense I am on like the top floor of the building. In the other beds there are people I know, from my high-school class in particular, but maybe also others from primary school.

Looking up to my left towards the door of the room I see Kirsten Busk enter the room. She looks about smiling asking what we are doing, and I sense she is keen to get moving.

“We are tensing off” – as you would following a yoga session, I say. A woman, next to Anne, turns her head and nods to me and indicate that it was a clever remark.

I am lying next to Anne Tøtrup. She is trying to kiss me, yet I miss the cue and when I try to revive it she is non-compliant. It is a playful encounter, mirroring the general atmosphere and my affective state. Young, free and uncaring – and a tad rebellious against the teachers who are there to make sure we have a safe field trip.

…

There is a skip and in the next room there is a similar set-up to the one just described. Except there is less white, more oakish dark colours as well as light tree. I enter the room and head towards the end of it where the beds are no longer separate but conjoined, which gives them a longer resting area to lie on. On the bed there is a light blue and white striped mattress running the entire length of the bed.
There is a guy with me – he seems dependent on me, or following me to some extent – and I say: “Well we might as well head towards the back, it seemed to work well the last time” in reference to the previously described aspect of the dream. And so I start working my way back.

On the way there I stop up and I see Esther van Santen get in one of the beds. I stop to think to myself “That is Esther” and at the edge of my consciousness I am ware that she is dead.
…

There is a brief session of running parcour, or more specifically I am looking for ways to do it – thinking I am awake. In the end I am at a rectangular exit/window at one of the towers, there is no door or glass in it. I close my eyes and expect to start soaring, feeling anxious.

OK, so I Had this Disturbing Dream last week about a woman I knew. Basically, the woman, who I do not wish to name, was one of my old carers who I had a crush on, sort of. And basically in the dream, I went to one of my favourite shopping centres(or malls), and she was luring me to different shops, the GAME shop there had black walls instead, and I rung up her mother, who I also knew as one of my Teachers, and asked what year she was born, she said 1982, making her 34.

The scary thing about this dream, was, even though I'm getting over this woman really well, was that I couldn't control my willpower, and it suddenly came out of nowhere, why I picked up the phone. It's so wierd, does this mean anything? I've barely got her in my head and I've been getting over her when suddenly this dream appeared.


It's disturbing, I must admit.