Boat on a Stormy Sea I’m at an event taking place in a large, white tent, with people sitting at long tables in rows. I can’t remember the earlier part of the dream any longer, but at some point, a man on some sort of machine, kind of like a large tractor/open tank, bursts in and starts threatening people while riding up and down the aisles. He doesn’t actually seem to be trying to hurt anyone – yet – but it’s clearly a dangerous situation, so I head off to prepare properly before taking care of it. I go some distance away to a much smaller tent, where my own things are, and start by tying my hair back since that thing has exposed moving parts on it, and I want to be able to get close to it without having my neck snapped. While I’m getting ready, I plan, although I don’t think this will be very complicated. I figure I’ll just jump on and start messing with levers. But I’ll want to take out his grapply thingies first so he can’t just move them back. When I’m done, I go back a different way, past some fairly large buildings. The area is reminiscent of a university campus, and life seems to be going on normally here. A woman holding a number of small cards approaches me, wanting me to draw one. I do, knowing that she’s trying to help in some way. The cards are made of cardboard and are of varying sizes, as if they’re from multiple decks. I draw one which turns out to have a picture showing a boat on a stormy sea.* There’s accompanying text – I’m aware of having to focus more than usual in order to not instantly forget it (although, unfortunately, I did forget it between then and awakening). I take this as a positive sign. It also somehow suggests to me that it might be a good idea to see if I can get some of the other people in the tent to help out regarding the grapply things. * Note: this is the symbol for chords with dominant function in the app I use to practice improvising, which is something I was doing the night before this dream. 13.5.22 Cemetery Campsite I seem to be camping in a cemetery. Another tent is staked a few plots down – a mother and a young boy, who's three-ish, are staying there. I wonder whether I should tell them they’re camped on one of the graves that’s supposed to be haunted. We eventually do meet up somehow, and I show them the way to a local bank at her request. She meets with a couple of her relatives there, including an older woman who reminds me of somebody I know, who is looking after the child (who I now know is called Eliot) while she does something there. Eliot suddenly runs out of the building, and the woman follows, chasing him. I think she may need some help though, and so I wait around the opposite corner of the building and catch Eliot as he rounds it. He immediately starts crying. Sometime after that – back at the campsite – the woman has given me a bone with some meat on it to cook over a small fire. However, as I hold it over the flame, I notice there’s hardly any meat there at all – just a couple little scraps. Upon awakening, I also remembered a piano ostinato playing – not as a background of the dream, but as if it had somehow been going through my mind at the same time, apart from it. I didn’t check the pitches soon enough after the dream to be able to put it in a definite key, but this is what it sounded like: -15.5.22 Lots of interesting dreams lately. I'm not going to copy them all here, but highlights include: -Preparing for a chess match against a guy who likes to send his bishop in for a sacrifice on the f-pawn early in the game. I find this annoying and intend to make sure, through my own choice of moves, that this is not going to be an appealing option for him. -Lots of hostels and hotels. -Attending a concert on a campus but leaving after my rowdy friends got kicked out since it’s not really worth being there without them. -A lucid dream mostly consisting of talking to people and exploring.
I’m with a coworker visiting a city, we arrived at night, there’s no street lights, we can barely see in the dark. I asked him if he got some place to sleep. He tells me we got one with three beds, and laughs. We try to walk on the street but it’s impossible to see for me. The cars have all lights off. They look like shadows and seem to be very damaged. I notice I forgot my bag somewhere else while we went out of the subway station, which is the last spot of light I can see now. Get back to look for my bag. I complain about the darkness while I put my hands on some surface in front of me. I wish it’s daylight while looking down my hands. It turns into daylight on the borders of my vision! No need to think about it anymore, I know what this means. Lucid again! I get excited, go back where we were, I don’t want to leave this dreamscape. Want to explore and enjoy. My coworker is not there anymore, I see a very tight street, on my right while walking down the place, there’re kiosks selling newspapers on both sides. I’m curious to see what my dream mind will put there. The place silently starts to fall down like it was an earthquake, on my left side. I see people between the mass of earth and papers. I wonder for what could it mean. Keep on walking until I get into a very known non-lucid dreamscape cemetery. There you are! I say, while I immediately recognize this cemetery. It’s still the same, like I was here yesterday. I wonder for what does it mean in my mind, what have changed along the years in this place. Then Start to walk among the graves amazed because of the very old memory view. There I see something new, a tall wall covered in plants… slowly woke up to write a draft for this entry. It was the first dream of the night when I saw the clock.
Updated 05-26-2023 at 07:27 PM by 18736 (Edit colors)
Outside view of ‘my house’ [not house in waking life] It is dark outside, but the house is white and lit by moonlight. On the roof there is a small cemetery. Suddenly I am in the house, upstairs, near the window facing the cemetery. I hear a voice whispering my name: ‘soooolaaeeetttiiiaaa…I’m looking for sssooolllaaaeettiiaa…’ I open the window and there is a small creature with a black hooded cloak. It asks me if I will tickle it. <This sounds way more scary as I type it than it was experiencing it. The creature, although it’s skeletal face was mostly obscured, seemed benign. I was working at the old cafe, but we had desks and small 8”-10” retro monitors. One of my monitors just said ‘baseball’ in white type on a black screen. A man who was either just hired or a new client hovered over me as another boss/employee explained what I was working on. I felt my space was being violated. Later, I was in the restroom and a man walked in looking around for things. I yelled at him to get out, and he argued that he knows what I look like and isn’t interested in me, he just needed some things from this room. Again, I felt violated. People from the cafe were boxing up there things, I was one of the last people in the building. I had three bags and many different clothes and shoes that I was trying to gather and decide what to wear. A girl was lugging her things out and remarked on all the people being jailed. I responded that I was surprised or something, and she asked me in a slight shock if I wasn’t being arrested too? I said no they hadn’t arrested me, and she seemed to think that was unfair and continued on her way. Thoughts: My dreams seem uninteresting and meaningless at the moment, and I don’t feel like I am gaining much insight- expect that I am not very attend to my inner self at the moment. Maybe that’s the point. I feel distracted by things going on in my waking life. I know though that continuing to journal I will have some break throughs and get back to where I want to be, and hopefully progress from there.
Unfortunately my phone has decided to mess up, so I didn't have an alarm. I woke up too late in the day (which was actually just eight-something), the sun was too bright, and so I couldn't take a nap to have a lucid dream. :/ I don't remember much at all, except a bunch of cops were in front of the trailer. They weren't there as cops, though--or at least I don't think they were. Later on, Dakota, Jon, and I were walking up a hill of a cemetery. It was at night.
around 11 a.m. I was walking. I was looking for something but I forgot what. I passed by a cemetery. I was with someone. The cemetery was awesome. It has a library in the middle. I met up with Rob. He pointed out the coffee that was ready. He said something about a trip to Australia in the past that we took (IRL, I never had to chance to visit other countries). NOTES: - I slept around 5 a.m. - I played Subliminal 2.0 in the background the whole time.
Non-lucid, Lucid .../The further memory I have, I'm in an abandoned farm where its owner is a little nasty guy who didn't take a shower for months, he looks dirty and covered in sweat. His partner gets in place and takes off a sort of leather necklace he's wearing. It's like he hasn't take that thing off for months. I don't like what I see. He goes out where all the vegetation has grown without control. I remember it used to be a beautiful place, I'm sort of disappointed. There are three big dogs out there, when I see a lion hunting down one of them. It takes the dog from the neck and takes it away. I follow the lion until my hand becomes its mouth and now I'm holding the dying dog. I let it on the floor, but it's too late. I put it where the cubs can start to eat it/... .../Now I'm in a car, with a friend of mine who recently I got to know he loved a Japanese TV series form the early 80's named Sankuokai. He's obsessed with the series and pretends this car is a space ship, although he's driving it backwards. I get concerned we can have an accident because of he's driving too fast. Finally I got to turn the car by changing the position I'm sitting on it. It's better to see things the right way. We get to the end of the road. We get out the car and see some hills in front of us. I remember this city was build upon what was going to be a huge burial ground in ancient times. I tell him, this place is a huge burial ground. Then I turn and see a known cemetery from WL which uses to be in my dreams. I point it and tell him that some disgusting things use to happen in that place when I'm dreaming it. It hits my head all of the sudden, what about if it's actually one of those dreams!? I look at my hand and I confirm it. I tell him laughing, actually it's a god damn dream. He doesn't seem to care. Another pal gets in, and they both start talking. I leave them and go to the cemetery, thinking about my sex drive that uses to screw things up. I walk next to the main gate, when it turns into a window and I see a couple sitting on a table. They don't look interesting, although I think perhaps I should force them to have sex in front of me, I'm sick of my sex drive. I ask them to do it, they don't seem to react. I take their clothes off and put the woman on the man. They start doing something although it's not enough. I'm starting to find the scene more disgusting than exiting. Another woman gets into the room. She looks like she has some sort of skin infection. It's getting worse, but I don't care. I want them to play dirty things in front of me. I lift her skirt, and the spectacle is too disgusting, because she seems to have a serious STI. I give up, I cannot see more of it. I go to the next room. There's a couple of friends from school times, they look better, at least they were the classic lovely picture. I'm not excited at all, I just one to fulfill what I wanted to do at the beginning, so I command them again to have sex in front of me. I help them to take their clothes off, it gets better although I don't feel excited, it's just fun to see that I can control it. I leave them in their game when an ex girlfriend, who appeared somewhere in a previous dream, gets into the scene. She start doing her hotter stuff, but what she says is disturbing me. I try to stop her but she's in ecstasy covered with slobber on a table next to a window. I'm surprised I didn't wake up with all the sex stuff happening around. I'm pleased I didn't wake up trying to control the dream, although I'm disturbed with all the disgusting stuff/... * Woke up before the alarm clock went off. And couldn't go back to sleep.
Morning of May 7, 2014. Wednesday. Dream #: 17,306-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. I was at a funeral at the La Crosse Civil War Memorial (Campbell Cemetery) in winter during blasts of wind and snow. Two others in black 1940s formal apparel are near me. (They may be older versions of Zsuzsanna and me.) We are standing on the wayside, opposite the railroad tracks, not the woods where the funeral was. (I do not think of the unlikelihood of public graves between trees.) There are two cars parked along the road, the one that crashed in “Fear No Evil” (1969 TV movie) and my red 1922 Lincoln Phaeton (recurring dream car only). The old couple faces the woods as the wind blows snow across their backs. They do not move even after being covered in a light layer of snow. Another man approaches from our right. He acknowledges me but ignores the other two. He wants me to drive him somewhere, but not in either of the vehicles present. I become liminally aware I am dreaming without recall of what a dream is, only that my thoughts shape my world. I summon the red 1958 Plymouth Fury from “Christine” (1983 movie). The other man is happy with the car and our forthcoming road trip. I drive fast (not recklessly) over backroads in hilly areas. The car ends up on the carport of the Cubitis house. (I would have had to drive from Wisconsin to Florida in less than fifteen minutes). I am parked facing the orange grove, perpendicular to the driveway (which would be problematic as it would block both entrances to the front of the house). I am unsure where the man (preconscious simulacrum) is. I may have dropped him off somewhere. Looking down, I see a toad to the right of my right foot. It is about half the size of a cane toad. I pick it up and throw it out the window to my left. I consider that other toads may be in the car, but I do not worry about it and looking around, I see no evidence of others. At this point, my dream loses cohesion. Notes: The toad in the car may have been an association with “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride” from “The Wind in the Willows” (both the book and the Disney attractions). It is similar, in some illustrations, to the car from “Fear No Evil”. My dream begins with the presence of sleep simulacrums (the old couple that becomes lightly covered with snow), the association with a cemetery as analogous to sleeping and being separated from waking life and my identity. The unknown man is this dream’s vestibular system simulacrum (a personification of the preconscious) as we ride in the car, which is an imaginary extension of my physical body while in the dream state. His original approach from my right stems from the waking process as I sleep on my left side with my right more exposed to my environment. A carport is a rendering of liminal space (the ambiguous awareness between dreaming and waking).
Updated 06-06-2019 at 08:03 AM by 1390
Morning of August 24, 2013. Saturday. One unusual and unlikely recurring setting in my dreams is a public park (often unfamiliar) that has small cemeteries (such as 4x5, 3x4, or 4x4 lots) near picnic and recreation areas, usually without fencing. Either the park is about half the size of a city block (within a slightly elevated area of four lower streets in an urban area) or a larger isolated park with the sections being sparser with a long road on one side (and sometimes an adjacent dense forest). Sometimes, the graves are very old (as far back as the 1700s). In this dream, I seem to have arrived by car (my brother-in-law Bob or perhaps a brother having driven me here). The park is very large, seemingly to the north of where I am. A mostly featureless area with a long road is to the south and the park is oriented east and west. The areas between the several 3x4 “mini-cemeteries” are larger than usual and there are a lot of recreational events, such as Frisbee-throwing, amateur softball, and picnicking. There is one area that is somewhat like a composite of the Onalaska Cemetery and the Bundaberg Cemetery. I am thinking that it is getting later, near sunset, and I am wondering why so many people are still in the park and playing around, even having lunch. I start to run around and enjoy the more open spaces and I soon find myself floating and flying about. I maintain an unusual floating position about four feet above the ground. I am facing downwards but my upper body is at a upright forty-five degree angle while my legs are somehow horizontal and my arms out behind me to the sides. I float about like this for several minutes, even going over gravesites with no fear or concern, with a sense of freedom and near-bliss. (I seem to remember seeing this flying position of a ghost in an older Harvey comic book.) I land near a group of people but near the internal edge of an unfenced 3x4 “mini-cemetery” and the headstone of a grave. I put my right arm effortlessly down through the ground until I reach the implied coffin, expecting to find a skull. It seems like I am only a hologram and my arm is at a different location. This is a recurring concept in my dreams, where I am supposedly doing something physical in the environment yet I am projected from elsewhere, thus I cannot be hurt in such a rendering if someone wants to approach me in a violent manner. Some people seem afraid or wary of me and my ability to push my arm into solid ground. Instead of a skull, my fingers move around in a partly gritty pile, about two feet down, of large thin seashell-like flakes which seem to be in a casket. (This possibly relates to when I used to walk through the cemetery on my way to the grocery store seeing large plastic bowl-like containers of seashells on many graves.) Eventually, I pull a figure out of the ground. It is more like a life-sized human statue at first, the monument on the Jennie Haniver tomb that must have fallen and been partly buried, but the outer layers (or “crust”) break away from the statue’s face and it turns out to be a human female, likely Jennie Haniver herself, who had died on or around 1723, yet she is now smiling and happy (and is also my wife Zsuzsanna as there is the association that she was - in a symbolic sense - the “real” Jennie Haniver who was lost at sea at age 22, Zsuzsanna’s age when we first made contact, and we even named one of our daughters “Revinah” as a middle name, and in a few dreams the Blue Pearl is Jennie Haniver and even the movie shows bluish streaks of light as she sinks to the depths of the ocean). One man who seems to be like a chauffeur from the 1930s starts yelling in horror. “Oh no, what is that, what is going on? Somebody please tell me what is going on!” It turns out to be some sort of prank while filming the television show “Scare Tactics”. My wife Zsuzsanna had been wearing some sort of elaborate outfit covered with powder to look like a gravesite monument at first so that then the “statue” is implied to “come to life” to scare the target audience. Again, this was influenced by the Jennie Haniver plot (dream pun?) of which there have been a number of connections (regarding the 1978 movie “The Bermuda Depths”). For example, Zsuzsanna’s step father’s name is “Davy Jones” (as in “Davy Jones’ Locker” implied by the movie as to where Jennie Haniver lives). The first song I heard in public in Australia (before marrying Zsuzsanna) was sung by a chubby man who sounded like Wayne Newton. He was happily strutting along in public, his head moving about and grinning at me (even though most other people in the Brisbane Central area looked rather sad by comparison) and singing “It came from the bottom of the deep blue sea, it come from the bottom of the sea!”. As the “statue” I pull up out of the ground turns out to be Zsuzsanna, there is similarity to my precognitive uprooted lamp dream. I have the ability in this dream to dig deeper for answers and with less resistance than other people seem to expect or accept (thus which may also symbolize precognition). On the basic level, it simply symbolizes my growing awareness of my wife Zsuzsanna waking up for the day. (This is the usual meaning of a statue coming to life in a dream. Reference: What does a statue coming to life in a dream mean? It means the conscious mind is becoming more active as a waking precursor. Most non-lucid dream symbols and metaphors, first and foremost, relate directly to sleeping, dreaming, and waking in real time.)
Non-dream Dream Today I recalled a ton of totally random fragments: Fragment 1: I rented a harley and I am returning it to the dealer. The bike has a huge key. The owner is very trusting. Fragment 2: I am looking for a parking space for father's day lunch. I am waiting forever for a car to pull out and when it finally does it turns out to be a handicapped spot. Now all of a sudden the parking lot is completely empty. Fragment 3: My dad changed his entire back yard around. He fired the guy who cleans his bbq and I was really sad. The guy did a good job and didn't really break the bbq. The back yard was kind of shaped like an octagon. Fragment 4: I am driving by a cemetery. I am doing something dangerous or illegal and we are in some kind of trouble. Some chick in the car is getting bit by a snake from the road. I am driving this huge bike-like vehicle and started shouting "I don't want to get bit by the black widow!" Nobody believes me that there is a black widow on my bike. I stop and someone takes it off for me. Then I go to my parents house. Fragment 5: I am in a bar hustling people with some kind of magical device. We are playing for some kind of strange currency - almost like long bendable skis. Some guy walks by completely naked with his penis hanging out. I tried hard to ignore him. Who was the girl with me? I end up losing whatever we were betting on.
(Note: My dad is alive and in good health IRL. I have no idea why I would dream that he was dead.) Last night, I had a dream that my mom and I went to the cemetery where my dad was. Well, it wasn't really a cemetery, it was more of a futuristic-looking room with the walls lined with freezers filled with containers holding the ashes of dead people. Anyway, we came in, and we were greeted by a strange man with three black-and-white cats. He starts explaining to us how he decides where everyone goes, who goes next to who (something to do with English and French people, that's all I remember), etc. There really wasn't much organization to his system. I get bored of listening to his explanation and decide to go find my dad myself. I end up finding the pieces of some board game and tell my mom. She helped me put the pieces back in the box, which happened to be next to the container that supposedly held my dad's ashes. Suddenly, my dad was there in the room with us. He said something about not knowing what's going on. I asked him what happened. He told me that, before he "died", he had concluded that he wasn't in Australia and, therefore, must have been on some alien planet. I don't remember if he told us any more about that. I started to think he might still be alive (as well as also getting the suspicion that he was just acting and this was all staged or something). I checked his pulse and exclaimed, "They're buried you alive!" Then, I woke up.
I remembered four more dreams last night. I don't really remember the order of these (save for the last one), but I'll try to put them in the order I think they happened in. 1. I don't really remember how this one started. There were some bad guys or something. They were trying to escape from this place where they were trapped, I think. I was watching this in third-person, by the way. They made some sort of homemade flying machine (a chair with a propeller, or something like that) and escaped, so they were in the air. They were flying alongside two zeppelins; if I remember correctly, they'd actually ejected out of one of them. I'm pretty sure the zeppelins appeared because, yesterday evening, I went to see a concert IRL, and the guy playing (a local musician, my dad knows him somehow) did play a couple of Led Zeppelin songs... two, to be specific, which I'm sure corresponds to the two zeppelins that appeared in the dream. 2. I was at the library for the teen writing group (which I do attend IRL). For some reason, though, we were going to be singing instead of writing. When I saw the sheet music, I recognized the song as Largo, and I hoped I would be assigned the Soprano II part. 3. I was in my room with my friend Giana, showing her this online flash game on the computer. I told her it was kind of like the Super Smash Bros. games but in the water (i.e., you fight in the water, and whoever gets knocked out of the water loses). I started the game and realized I was kind of right; it was like Super Smash Bros., but you couldn't get out of the water once you fell in, so the fight would gradually shift to be in the water. (After this, I woke up, but fell asleep after a little while and had another dream.) 4. This dream really stands out for some reason. There were several of us, and we needed to get onto the Thruway for some reason. We didn't have a car, by the way. There were four lanes, but only one was open to us; the other three had traffic going the other way. For some reason, we couldn't all go together, so we had to figure out how to get through. We decided that four of the others would walk together. That left two of us - me and some girl I apparently knew somehow. She got on a motorcycle, and I knew I was supposed to follow her. I got on the motorcycle I apparently had with me and followed her. Even though I didn't know how to ride a motorcycle, it was surprisingly easy. When we left the Thruway, we ended up at a cemetery. It was supposedly the cemetery where my granddad was buried, though it looked a lot different than it does IRL (and it was evidently in a different location, as I don't remember somehow ending up in England...). Suddenly, it got cold and windy and started raining; fortunately, I had an umbrella with me. Then, it started getting dark. It got dark quickly, to the point where it was pitch black and I couldn't see a thing. Once it was dark enough that I couldn't see anymore, I woke up. I wish I could remember who that girl was. She seemed important somehow. I may be wrong here, but I think it's possible I met my dream guide last night. I can hardly remember what she looked like, though - I'm terrible at recalling the appearance of DCs, unless they're either somebody I know IRL or characters I'm familiar with.
Good morning, everybody. Dream #1 A tall, white man, bald on top, with white hair around the sides of his head, and wearing a grey suit with a white shirt and, probably, a maroon tie, was sitting at a table with me in a drably fluorescent-lit room, talking about lucid dreaming. I don't remember what the man said now, although I could hear it pretty well. One word in particular really struck me, although when I woke up I seemed to think that that word could have applied to any subject. Dream #2 I was standing at the edge of a city park. The park felt small near me, though I had the idea that it was actually a rather large park. I stood on the inside of a black-painted iron fence. A sidewalk ran just outside the park. It was a nice, sunny day. There were a lot of people on the sidewalk. Somehow I saw, off to my left, my old friend R walking around the corner. He was walking under the shade of some trees. I didn't really want to see him again. But if he was here, and if he saw me, I supposed I should be happy to talk to him. The entrance to the park was on my side. And R was rounding the corner to reach my side. But for some reason, I started walking over to the side of the park where R was. It was like I wanted to meet him before he got to my side. But, only a few steps away from where I'd been, I realized that I'd just left my backpack (??? -- don't wear one IWL) behind. I turned around to grab it. It might have been leaning against a tall headstone, like for a grave. I grabbed my backpack. But by this time, R had already rounded the corner. He was now walking past where I stood. He may have said something to me. We may even have been talking to each other -- in my head. R was already about to reach the next corner. Somehow I came to understand that I would be meeting R at some other place, like we'd arranged to meet each other for dinner or at R's house or something. I now walked away from the park gates and down toward the opposite end of the park. The park, I'm pretty sure, had a lot of gravestones in it. It might actually have been a cemetery. I walked across a lawn full of gravestones, under the thick shade of trees. At some point I saw -- as if I were walking there, but not quite -- the street on the other side of the park. It was an empty street, with a big, residential apartment building. The building was kind of old and run down. It was made of stone or concrete, and it was painted white. It glared in the sunlight. I was thinking something to myself. But I can't remember what. I was probably still continuing my in-head conversation with R. Dream #3 I was sitting on a couch with my brother. My brother sat to my right. To my left was another couch, on which sat two or three women. The women weren't my family members, though maybe they were supposed to have been. I was either drawing or looking at drawings and humming or singing a tune to myself. I remember sensing the tune -- hearing it and feeling it in my throat. But I don't remember the tune at all. The first drawing I was looking at was kind of tall and narrow. It was of some human-like figure. The figure was all green, with a masculine, slender, but muscular body, and a featureless face. The figure had smallish wings, kind of butterfly-shaped, but clear, like fly-wings. The figure stood before a background, like a sky fading upward, from the horizon, from yellowish to greenish-yellow, to olive-green. The second drawing was of a sky and a landscape below. The landscape was very small as I remember, and the sky was very vast. A whole lot of demon-like entities were being released from the sky. They may have come from some ship, but I can't remember. The demons were little, black, scraggly shadows. In the center of these scraggly shadows there were single, pink orbs, almost like eyes. The sky faded very quickly from a dark band of blue at the top, to a paler blue, and finally to a white, which took up most of the vast sky. For some reason, the whole thing reminded me of something out of Neon Genesis Evangelion, and I might even have started making up a story about Shinji Ikari attacking these demons. I was still humming or singing. At some point the women started singing or humming along with my tune. Finally my brother made some smart-ass comment to me about how stupid my song was. He also asked me something like, couldn't I quit making so much noise while he was around? I stopped. I was really offended and angry. The women stopped as well. But they took more of an attitude of being scared by the sudden change in tone in the environment. I turned to my brother and said a lot of really bad stuff to him. I remember sensing each thing I said to him -- but I can't remember what I said. All I know is that I was calculating everything I said to hurt him and make him feel as terrible and worthless as possible. Finally I said that I only tolerated being around him, and nothing more -- that I didn't like being around him. I then did some strange move where I lifted my hands, bent my arms, grabbed onto the back of the couch, and flipped myself over to the backside of the couch. When I did this, I was in another room. As soon as I had said everything I felt really terrible. I could tell that my brother had taken everything I'd said to heart. I knew that he'd probably lose faith in himself and go off and get into some kind of trouble. It really upset me that I'd started off that whole chain of events -- even though, while I'd said everything, it was exactly what I'd meant to do. I didn't seriously mean anything I'd said, though, and now I wanted to apologize to my brother for everything. My brother was standing right next to me. I figured this would be the best time for me to apologize to him and get things back in order between us. We were staring at a table full of arts and crafts supplies. The main thing I remember is yellow, plastic canisters of powdered paint. The canisters looked like label-less Crayola products. We had to pour the powdered paint into white, styrofome bowls and add water. I may have called this paint "tempera." I was looking at the table and apologizing to my brother. My brother was telling me something like, It's okay, it's okay, I'm okay, don't worry about it. But I still felt awful, and I wanted my brother to know I was sorry. Dream #4 A girl, probably an Asian girl, maybe in her early or mid teens, was wearing a strange helmet. The helmet was made out of brightly polished chrome. The skull of the helmet held pretty close to the woman's head. But the jaw of the helmet extended straight forward, on both sides, forming something like two stylized, trapezoidal tusks. There may -- possibly, I'm not sure -- also have been ear-like or wing-like shapes coming off the top of the head. I wondered why the woman would need to wear something like this. It didn't make sense, for daily life. But somehow I got the understanding that the woman had been attacked, either physically or spiritually, in her life. She was still healing from the attack. And she was still vulnerable to future attacks. So, to protect the healing areas, the woman had to wear this helmet. The helmet may also have helped her fight, in the case of any future attacks. Dream #5 I was at my old friend R's apartment. But, for some reason, it was now my family's house. My mom and my mom's best friend were at the house. My sister was also there. Other people may also have been there. But I'm not sure who they were. We were in somebody's bedroom, which was at one end of the apartment. I was sitting on the edge of a big, fluffy bed. My mom and my mom's friend were secretly worrying over me. They didn't say anything to me. But they were discussing the fact that I was seeing demons, and that I might, therefore, be suffering from schizophrenia. My sister may also have been involved in the conversation. I got up, not quite feeling like myself, but still trying to prove that I was sane. I'm pretty sure the fact was that I was seeing demons. But I think I was trying to prove to somebody that they were real. But if I couldn't prove they were real, I could, at least, in the meantime, prove that I had a decent grip on the rest of reality. I walked into the next room, adjacent to the bedroom. I'm not sure what it was. For some reason, I saw the door on the left wall of the room. I wanted to jump from where I was, through the doorway, into the hallway. I jumped, and I made it. But instead of landing, I decided I just wanted to keep flying. I knew that one could hover 12cm or so above the ground if one had jumped, and that one could move about a bit more quickly than walking by floating around at this height. I floated off to my left, up the hallway, into the kitchen, where my mom and her friend were. They may still have been talking about how crazy I was. I thought they'd especially think I was crazy, now that I was flying around. I think they'd even think I was crazy for thinking I could fly. But I wanted to keep flying, and I wanted to prove to somebody that I was flying. So I turned around and headed down the hallway. My sister was walking up the hallway. I figured if she saw me flying she'd know I was flying and that I wasn't crazy. But as I passed the front door of the apartment, right before I saw my sister, I passed a pair of high heels. The high heels were very strange. The toes and sides of them were covered in a red fabric with white designs. The heels were covered with something like blue denim and white designs. The shoes were then -- somehow -- fringed with white lace. For some reason, these monstrosities really caught my fancy. I said, "Ooh!" And even turned back to look at them as I passed them. My sister saw how I paid attention to the shoes. I thought, Oh great. Now she'll think I like the shoes because I like wearing women's shoes. And she'll think that since I "like wearing women's shoes," I'm crazy. My sister was already heading back up the hallway, toward the bathroom, which was near the kitchen. I turned around to follow her, hoping I could say something to her which would make her think I wasn't crazy. But my sister was talking to me about some kind of fashion show, which the shoes had been a part of. My sister was talking about one dress in particular from the show. My sister either liked the dress or the model for the dress. The model may have looked like an ultra-thin version of Scarlet Johanssen (I probably spelled that wrong). She had pale skin, and her hair was in a very 1930s-style, triangular kind of cut, not quite shoulder length, full of tight, blonde curls. The model wore a red dress with white designs. The fabric of the dress was kind of thick and practical, not thin, sheer, or soft. The collar-line of the dress was very low and had a wide v-cut. The sleeves were kind off poofy, in an angular way. The model also wore a blue hat, the fabric seemed to be like denim. The had basically just sat, tiltled kind of rakishly, atop the curls of the model's hair. It didn't really fit over the whole skull.
Good morning, everybody. Dream #1 I was walking through the hallways of a school, possibly walking faster than usual. I headed into one classroom, off to my right. The classroom was big and bright, partly with morning light and partly with fluorescent ceiling lights. The front half of the classroom seemed empty of desks. But right at the front were three microphones, spaced about two meters apart from each other. One or two girls, maybe around twelve years old, may have been standing at the microphones. The girls may have been dressed very primly. The girls were going to give some kind of presentation for this class, which was a Japanese class. The presentation would be some kind of recital, maybe even a mini-concert. One of the girls may have asked me about my presentation. I realized I had to give one, too, even though I probably wasn't prepared. I was now "upstairs," in some room with my sister. The room had furnishings in it like might be found in a bedroom or living room. My sister may even have thought of this room as her bedroom. My sister was getting ready to go "downstairs" to school. She was going to bring a baby doll to Japanese class, as a kind of show and tell project. My sister had the baby doll sat up on the floor. The doll's legs were stretched out in front of it. My sister put a diaper on the baby doll. But the diaper was huge on the doll -- so huge that only the doll's head poked out. I didn't want to make my sister feel bad. I wanted her to feel like she'd done a good job of putting a diaper on the doll. But I may have made some joke about how the doll looked. I may then have told my sister that she should use a smaller diaper on the baby doll. But I couldn't think of what kind of diaper would be appropriate. Dream #2 An episode of the 1980s TV show Family Ties. Alex Keaton was in the kitchen. He'd just heard that one of his best friends had died, right after leaving Alex' house. Alex was upset. He made some kind of sarcastic comment in a shaky voice. Alex was about to leave the house, either to go to the hospital or to go to the funeral. But his family stopped him. Alex' mom Diane told Alex that the family would leave the house together. Diane told Alex he wasn't to blame for his friends death. So he should just relax and go with his family. Everybody in the family left the house. They were all -- including Alex -- wearing hooded sweatshirts or hooded parkas. The hoodies were all in pale or pastel colors. The family was now in front of a door to what looked like another suburban house. I knew this wasn't the hospital or the friend's funeral. I was wondering if Alex' family wasn't purposely trying to keep him from going to his friend's funeral. Diane again, while waiting for the door to be answered, reminded Alex that it wasn't his fault his friend had died. So, she told him, he should just relax and take his time in getting to the funeral. The family all now walked in through what looked like a mix between a fancy restaurant and a living room, lit by natural light coming in through a big window at the back of the room. They all sat down -- probably at a couple different tables. The family was waiting for some kind of social engagement, possibly having to do with someone who would give the family money. I knew this had nothing to do with Alex going to see his dead friend at the hospital or funeral. Dream #3 I walked into a school bathroom. The walls were a brown-painted concrete, and the walls were of glossy, pale-tan, wide bricks. The light was a greenish fluorescent. I had to walk through a tiny passage to get to the main area of the bathroom. I felt like I was all alone. But then I heard somebody's voice. It sounded like the person was annoyed that I was in the bathroom, so they were trying sigh and breathe out loudly to make me feel bad for being around. Out of nowhere some faucet on the wall to my right sprayed me with a bunch of water. It only hit the outside of my right leg. And it was only on for a second. But the force of the water was so strong that my pant leg was soaked. I was a little afraid. I didn't know how the water could have turned on and off, all by itself. For some reason, I assumed that only a poltergeist could have done something like that. (???) So I now thought the bathroom was haunted. I walked back into the main area of the bathroom. There were toilet stalls on the back wall, to my right, and either urinals or sinks on front wall, to my left. I heard the man's voice sighing, like the person was annoyed that I was here. Suddenly one of the bathroom stall doors slammed violently shut. I had been looking toward the urinals or sink. When I looked at the bathroom stall doors, they all looked equally shut. The slam of the stall door, though, had been so violent that I was sure the person wasn't just annoyed, but was really angry that I was around. I was pretty sure I was going to get attacked. I thought the person had hid in one of the stalls so that when I went to a stall, I would get surprise-attacked. I looked under the doors of the stalls from a distance. But I didn't see any feet. I thought the person may be hiding from view by standing on the toilet seat. But I suddenly felt like there really wasn't anybody here after all. I thought I would use the bathroom. But I felt like if I went to the urinal, I would get surprise-attacked while my back was turned. So I just decided to leave the bathroom. I walked into a school hallway. I was walking really fast. My pants leg was still wet from the faucet spraying on me. I didn't want to be seen like this. I wanted to get to wherever I was supposed to be, so I could just sit down and hide my leg. A black man, who I guessed was a teacher, came walking down the hallway. He was a bit taller than me, skinny, with long dredds covered in a hat and wearing a white t-shirt. As I walked past him in the hallway he seemed to try to indimidate me in some way or another. I got toward the end of the hallway. There were a couple of fat, black women, who I also thought of as teachers, gabbing with each other in the hallway. They saw me and seemed to peer at me, as if they were thinking of some way to bother me. A really pretty black woman, also a teacher, I thought, in a purple tank-top and tight blue jeans, walked down the hall. She got directly in my way, so I moved all the way to the right, out of her way. But she got back in my way. I walked really fast, figuring I'd just have to bump into her if she didn't move. But she got out of the way just in time so that we only brushed against each other. I was kind of turned on by how smooth, and slightly muscular, the woman's arm was. But the woman only seemed to be annoyed that I didn't try to get even further out of her way. I had been right up against the wall as it was! Dream #4 I was in a National Park with my family. We were at the visitor's center, which was a complex of one-story buildings and a long, narrow-parking lot surrounded by a Southwestern kind of forest of pine trees. It may have been late afternoon -- the sky was dim and silvery grey-blue. My mom's old boyfriend, N, oversaw this park. He was, apparently, going to be busy doing some stuff with my mom and the rest of my family, like showing them around the park. So either he or my mom asked me to take care of something for him. My job was to take an urn with the ashes of somebody who had just died to a cemetery in the park. The person who had just died may have been a friend of N. But it may have been N himself. (???) So I took either the park-owned pickup truck or N's personal pickup truck and drove it down some wide path in the park to get to the cemetery. The pickup truck was really big. But the path was wide enough to accommodate two of these trucks, like a two-lane road. I kept to the right side of the road, as if I were driving on a regular road in the US. The path was asphalt, but it also had a coppery, gravel- or cinder-strewn look to it. On either side of the path were dense stands of tall, leafy shrubs. A white mother, tall, blonde, and pretty, though with a kind of worn-looking face, was walking back down the path, back toward the visitor's center. The mother's little girl, maybe two or three years old, had come toddling up ahead of her. The little girl wore a black dress that didn't go much farther down than her waist, and exposed a big diaper. The girl's blonde hair was done up in a top-knot, or a ponytail on the very crown of her head. I had to brake fast to avoid hitting the little girl. But I stopped in time. The little girl ran off to the left side of the road. The mother called to the little girl and seemed grateful that I politely stopped and didn't make a big deal about the little girl running all over the road. I drove on a bit more without encountering anybody else. I was proud of myself (???) for not having hit the little girl. But suddenly a gnawing suspicion came into my mind. What if I'd actually hit tons of little girls with the pickup truck so far -- but the truck had been so big, and the girls so little, that I hadn't even noticed? I now came on a group of black people, mostly fat women. They were spread all over the road, talking and laughing with each other. I kept to the right side of the road. But now they all veered over into the way of my truck! I pulled as far over as I could -- there was now a shoulder of grass to the side of the road, and I was trying not to hit that. But the women seemed to be trying to "spook" me into driving into it, by getting in my way. I decided to just stop the truck altogether until the women passed. As I did, I twisted the truck (or else the truck slid as it braked) so that it took up half the road. The women saw that I wasn't going anywhere. So they'd either have to walk onto the grassy shoulder or move over to the left side of the road. They all moved out of the way of the truck. I started driving again. But as the women passed me, they all gave me the evil eye. I drove on a bit more. I was now kind of worried that those women would sic some men on me to "pay me back" for having made them move. I just wanted to get to the cemetery and take care of my job. But I realized that I didn't really know where the cemetery was. I hoped it was close. But I didn't know if it was going to be far down the path, deep into the forest. And, I thought, once I got to the cemetery -- if I were even able to spot it -- what would I do there? Would someone be waiting to take the urn from me? What was I supposed to do with the urn? I thought I might even have to "bury the body" myself. I imagined myself having to dig a six-foot-deep grave. But then I imagined that there was already a hole dug in the ground for me, and that all I'd have to do was fill it after I'd put the "body" inside. I came up to a fenced-off area to my right. I could tell this was the cemetery. I stopped the truck on the side of the road. I looked at the cemetery through the pickup truck's window. The area was a well-groomed lawn about the size of a football field. Through the middle of it ran a concrete path, about the size of an average sidewalk. In the center of the cemetery was a huge, concrete column. The lawn was dotted with flat, plaque-like grave-markers, most with colorful bouquets placed on them I opened the car door, as if I were getting out to go into the cemetery. Dream #5 I was somewhere -- possibly in bed! -- eating a chicken drumstick. I was eating it in some weird way, like taking swiping bites off of it, so that I'd bite down at the tip of the meaty part and then tear down all the way to the bony tip. But in one bite I'd rubbed the greasy joint of the bony tip against the left corner of my mouth. I was disgusted. I could feel that the corner of my mouth and a good section around it were now all gross and greasy. I got really panicky and decided I needed to go wash my face off right away. I couldn't seem to get enough motion into my body, though, to do this, and I just got more and more panicked. Suddenly I "woke up." I sat up in bed in the dark. I knew the whole "chicken leg" scene had just been a dream. But I still felt really gross, and I still wanted to go wash my face. But all I could manage to do was thrash around in bed, going from a sitting position to one where I was half-crawling and half-laying, facing the bed. I somehow managed to look at my alarm clock. I saw that it was only 2:37 AM. I told myself I should really be getting back to sleep. Dream #6 A view of my old co-worker, DC, possibly as he stood over me while I sat at a desk.
I remember two dreams from last night. In the first one, I'm inside an old house. There's a man in one of the rooms doing something that the rest of us are trying to stop; conducting some sort of experiment or something like that. I don't remember what he's doing, only what the outcome is. Suddenly there are all of these insects in the walls. They're visible because it's like the sheetrock is transparent and you can see the wires and wall frame. The insects look like a swarm of bees and they're moving through the walls from the exterior to the interior of the house. Suddenly the lights go out and it's pitch black inside. A man's voice tells me, "Don't worry; they're going after him.", meaning the man in the room. Apparently, whatever he is doing is attracting the bugs to him. I feel some of the bugs crawl across me but they don't attack. I sense that to me, they're harmless. But the man in the room, I hear him start to scream. About a minute later, the lights come back on and we run to the room where the man had been. When we get there, all we see is a giant swarm of insects beginning to disperse and die. Within seconds, they're all dead and lying on the floor. I can now get a good look at them and realize they're not bees because their bodies and wings are longer and thinner. A man, perhaps the same one who told me earlier not to worry, calls me over and shows me little vials of blood that they have extracted from each of the insects and tells me that they apparently drained all the blood from the man's body before consuming it. In my next dream, I'm in a cemetery and there's a funeral going on. I'm sitting with some of my family behind a grave that appears to belong to Leonard Nimoy. Besides his name on the headstone, there are photos of him and flowers and momentos laying around. But it's not his funeral because in the dream, I know I've been to his grave before. The funeral appears to be for William Shatner. His grave is just in front of Nimoy's and there is a similar collection of photos, flowers and momentos around it. I am a bit shocked by this because I didn't even know that William Shatner was ill; I thought he was in good health. Then the thought occurs to me that if he had been sick and lost some weight, he would look more like Captain Kirk from the original Star Trek series and that could be a good thing. Off to the side, one of my relatives is pointing out that Zsa Zsa Gabor's name appears on several of the headstones in the cemetery. Someone speaks up and says, "She married your uncle." Apparently, the names of the parents are on the headstones and that's why her name appears on more than one. I'm disappointed that I did not pick up on any of the obvious clues that this was a dream. Zsa Zsa Gabor never married anyone in my family and both Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner are alive and well in the real world.
Good morning, everybody. Dream #1 I needed to go to the bathroom really bad. I was running into a public restroom. Some woman, possibly a pretty, young woman and possibly my mother, was using the first stall I saw. I was apparently wearing a pair of pink panties under my pants, and I didn't want there to be any chance of the woman in the stall seeing me. So I ran to a set of stalls at the far end of the restroom. Two stalls were inside a larger, stall-like area. One of the stalls didn't have any lock, or even a handle, on its door. I had gone inside it, but now I ran out. I ran to the next stall. The lock on this stall's door was really loose. But I decided it was good enough. If somebody tried to push it open, I'd have enough time to reach up and push the door closed. I sat down on the toilet and started peeing (?). Before my eyes I now saw a list of films by Werner Herzog. They all seemed to star Claudia Cardinale, as if she were Herzog's main actor. Each film would have a description below it. The descrption was in a thin column. Some descriptions were just a small paragraph. Others were almost a page long. I caught sight of a few descriptions of some films. The films all had a theme of a woman sinning or doing something to betray somebody, usually a man, and then having to go through retribution for all this, apparently from fate, by being put through all kinds of weird, embarrassing, or painful situations. I couldn't quite remember what the Herzog films were which I'd seen starring Claudia Cardinale. But it didn't seem like this was the theme of those films at all. So I scanned through the list (how? It seems now like the list was just some image scrolling in the air before my eyes), looking for the films I was familiar with. Something I read said that Herzog's later films with Cardinale got weirder and weirder, and that the women characters kept being put through more and more absurd situations. I saw some later films, some as late as 1986. But then I saw "one of Herzog's first films" listed. It was called Yvonne Rainier, and it was from 1910. Apparently this film had something to do with a nun who'd betrayed a man, probably a priest, and the trials she'd had to go through as "fate's retribution" after this. I now had a vision of a black and white film, almost as if I were watching from some place within the film. There was possibly some old, small chapel that had something of a medieval style to it. Some nuns were standing outside the church, talking to each other. The film was a sound film, and it seemed like the setting was America in the 1950s. There was a nun in white. She was the main character. Now a couple of priest-like men walked past the nuns with a group of schoolchildren. The group walked into a spacious, lawny cemetery that was right next to the chapel. The priests stopped the students in front of what was an apparently important grave. The grave had some kind of tall, church-shaped marker. Before the marker were two rows of small, stone markers.
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