read the dream yoga section (after reading the introductory parts earlier) of "The Tibetan Yogas of Dream and Sleep", very excited about the practice. 00:00 Tuesday 2014-08-12 00:17 pre-bedtime. day memory review, set strong intention to LD 00:35 bedtime 03:00 ? awake, hear sounds coming from wife and son in other rooms, a bit concerned about sounds from outside, take off mask and look out the window, BTB. 04:38 +(f) something about a farm? 05:46 LDs #48 and #49, they were awesome + in my room in the night, the door to my room was open, my wife and son (S1) were making noises and they came into my room and turned on the light. S1 wanted to do something with my computer which I needed for work, he wanted to install his own 3d chip into my laptop, I'm upset what are they doing here in the middle of the night, I'm tired, it was like 3am, I didn't want to let him do it, this is my work computer anything you do to it could ruin it. I feel a bit bad about rejecting him so I say "ok you can do it, but for one thing don't come in here at 3am." Then I get a *creepy* phone call, I answer it and I here a voice say "Hey, <my full name>, <something>" (I don't remember what they said but I understood "they" were watching me and weren't friendly), kind of laughing at me, I wondered how they did that. I returned to my bed and saw a low cabinet/closet open in the wall, there were pillow and sheets there, I was taking out some pillows. I'm back in bed and starting to get lucid?... + ... I'm suddenly in my sister's room in my chldhood home looking out into the hallway and am instantly lucid, I went out into the hallway, and started down the stairs. I started thinking about what to do and I decided to summon a DDGSHG I had seen before, and the dream ends... + I'm standing in a hotel lobby in just my underwear because I had locked myself out of my room. There are people in the lobby, the front desk is a circular island in the middle of the room, there are clerks there, I go to the front desk and say I locked myself out of my room. I felt a bit awkward being there in just my underwear (but not very much), they didn't respond to me so I go back to the elevator. The buttons were strange and I wasn't sure if it was actually an elevator or not, it seemed to open into a bathroom, the buttons were all located very low to the ground, they were all lit, I couldn't tell what was going on. I got out and walked through a dining room, I knew it was late at night, there were people eating, at a table, food on a buffet, I saw what I thought were sushi sandwiches, I continued walking by, I walk past a woman who whispers to her companion "that man's in his underwear!" and I angrily respond "Yeah, I know, that happens when you get locked out!" + ... and I'm in bed, "awake", in a dark room, but I thought I could be dreaming still, nose pinch showed that I was still dreaming. I tried to get up out of bed, I could move my arms and legs which went up into the air a bit but my body wouldn't move. OK, if I'm stuck in bed lets summon KS my highschool sweetheart. Should I teleport to the swimming pool where we were on our awesome swimming date? I feel my heartrate start to increase dramatically (either dream or actual, I don't know) at this thought, I know I have to calm down so I decide "forget that." I am able to roll out of bed and I'm standing in the room. It's a small hotel room with a wall-sized window running from floor to ceiling, covered with closed blinds. The orange lights from the city street lamps are leaking through the blinds. I know I'm in a room up high off the ground and there is a city outside. I'm sure I'm dreaming, but I don't want to fall and die so I do another nose pinch, and I step back away from the window to the wall at my back and take a few running steps and stretch my hands out superman style and fly right through the window and blinds out into the orange-tinted cityscape, I'm way up above the ground look down and see people/cars moving on the street, there are other tall buildings all around, I turn towards my right and fly in that direction. There was another big window approaching. I was doing "superman with a go pro" style power bursts of speed by thrusting my fist forwards forcefully, I could feel the acceleration of motion when I did this. There were people around, some were flying, some were on the ground, they were *very bright and vivid*, I was amazed at the visual quality. I do a power fly through this large glass wall, it's into a crystal clear but dark night scene with shining snow falling down. The city scape starts to head up into hills in front of me. I think I should be looking for a woman and I turn around in the air and I see a big bulky woman approaching me, I reach for and squeeze her breasts and she turns into a man with man-boobs, I think "no no no be a beautiful woman" and he turns into a young beautiful woman, her right breast is exposed, it is firm and lovely, I reach to take it into my mouth and I wake up. Takes a long while to get back to sleep but I want more lucids! I feel them in me, just gotta get back to sleep. Takes all my sleep kung fu and concentration but I eventually sleep again. 10:02 + going into a small convenience store. I do something wrong or have stolen something, the store owner gets mad at me, I'm kicked out, I feel lucky to escape with my life. I order lunch at the pizza place (LV) I order the lunch special, one guy goes on an on about how LV is better than the other place LV has the original flavor, I place the order with a guy who's outside. Then I return to this place and I sense it's been a long time since I placed the order but I know that my lunch must be ready, I have the guy I ordered with go and pick it up I think that's better because he has more authority, I hear him talking to the counter, apparently it's not ready yet and that they have to make a second one and give it to me free. Scene inside a house, a small boy is a servant/slave, I see his small boy face, the young man master is preparing to murder the and place him into a box. The slave boy didn't do anything wrong, the master man says "it's just that kind of a thing." I'm observing. The master is wrapping the boy up in tape. Then a guy (from the convenience store gang?) comes up stealthily behind the evil master and sticks a long knife deeply into the bad guy's side, he does that several times. The young master freezes in shock and pain. The young man's family enters at this time into the dining room (on a level above the room we're in) it's a very wealthy family they're shocked at the scene in the living room below them. +(f) PA vs. K (cities)? There are two houses and I see their addresses and say them out loud. +(f) With MR parking a car on HC. Getting something out of the back of his car. + on a floating (in the sky?) boat there's a party prepared for one guy by his gay lover, he walks up the stairway to his lover who is the host and they're going to get down to business. + I see a convenience store mafia guy again in my parents house at a party our eyes meet he has a goatee I nod to him in recognition he doesn't acknowledge me back. Later there's something to do with money, if he gives me back all the money he'll kill me and he starts to give me money and I start to freak out but he only gives me a few coins and decides not to kill me.
Dream - Lucid I was living in some strange society that very much so valued pregnancy. Everyone was still human, but there were these weird dolls that looked like small, humanoid potatoes whose bellies would pop out if you were pregnant. It's like you'd set it, it would tick like an egg timer for a few seconds, and then, either the belly would pop out or it wouldn't. The dolls were sitting on a small side cabinet type thing. The people in charge kept them. They were checked daily. I was pregnant, but only a week into it. I was still married to Dallas, but for some reason, I wanted to bring Cherie' into our relationship. I did something to where it "set" her to being my wife too. I saw a diagram of her laying in the middle of my bed. I then somehow "set" her to be pregnant too. She did not know about any of this. I then changed my mind, however, and changed her "settings" back to how they were before, not with Dallas and I and not pregnant. I then went to check my doll, and its belly did pop out. Cherie' was right behind me, and went to do the same when I was finished. I watched her from behind. She said, before anything happened with the doll, "There's no way I'm pregnant." The doll's timer clicked a few times, and then its belly then popped out. She was quite surprised. I knew that she would soon have a miscarriage, however, since I "set" her back to not being pregnant. I did not say anything to her as this all was happening. Then, I was thinking about being pregnant. I then thought about how some people just gave birth to photographs, not babies. I wondered if I was going to be one of those people. Dream skip. I was inside some building. Others were there as well. I was watching a blue octopus "walk" on the land. He was quite close to me, and I was quite taken by the creature. A man then crushed the octopus against a wall to kill it. It then looked like it had deflated. I was so pissed that someone would do something like that! The poor creature! The man carried off the deflated body of the octopus. I was then with someone, and we were looking for the guy. We were walking around in some hotel/apartment type building. We found him in a room, and it was a man I work with, Barry. I then couldn't be too mad at him, because Barry is a nice guy. Then, this other person and I were outside watching this guy delivering a pizza to a couple of people on the other side of a barbed-wire fence. The pizza was in its box and the box was inside of a white plastic bag. There may have been other food in there as well. He tossed it into the fence, and it got stuck towards the top. The people on the other side couldn't get it, but the pizza guy started to walk away like he didn't care. The person I was with and I went to go dislodge the bag for the people on the other side of the fence. We started to do so, trying not to get pricked by the barbed wire, and then, I woke up to the sound of my cat playing with a plastic bag. ~ I was at a school/job, taking some art course. I, IWL, do not draw or paint. I was learning in the dream, and had to take over for someone for awhile whose normal job was to keep up with all the artwork by doing the art and then keeping up with and maintaining it. There was a lady who then came in to make sure I was doing everything correctly. She commented on these shelves that had lots of paintings on them, and how they needed to be straightened up. I looked at the shelves, and they were indeed covered in paintings. I told her I was getting to it and that I had just gotten there. She then handed me a paper that showed how I had scored. I did great in everything; it showed 100s next to many explanations, but there was one that had a 7. It meant a 7/10. I was pretty sure it had to do with maintaining the shelves. I then was in the art room drawing and looking at the classic-looking analog clock on the wall. I noticed it was almost time for me to take my lunch; I was going from noon-1. I was drawing the silhouette of a woman with long, flowing hair holding a rose. I then told someone I was going to lunch. I then went into a band room. The chairs were set up in an arch, as you usually see in a band room. I saw my old friend from high school band, Alex S., sitting on the far right side in the front with his trombone. Other people were in there as well. He asked something about bass trombones, and who played. I raised my hand, and he said "You play?" He seemed excited. I then said "No, but you play both, don't you?" He said yes, he did. He then got up to let me have his seat. I walked up to the seat, and took the trombone. I hit it against something on accident, and it made a "dong" noise a couple of times. I was a little embarrassed. I then was not holding a trombone, but a violin, I believe. I then noticed my old cat, Ziggy, sitting close by. He was watching me. I looked into his eyes, and asked him with my mind "How am I doing? Am I doing alright?" I was referring to the art now. It was like he had been there for the review that the lady gave, or he was somehow also the lady who gave it. He started at me, looking into my eyes as if to acknowledge that I was communicating with him. I noticed how big his eyes were. I "remembered" how he always sat in that spot by the low brass section. I then saw his tail flick the ground. His tail looked fluffy and brown, in contrast to his orange and white fur, though, in the dream, I cannot remember what color his fur was. I knew it was Ziggy, but his fur looked different, though I could't tell you exactly how. My husband's alarm then woke me up. ~ IWL, Ziggy was my best buddy growing up. He was, to me, a guardian. He watched over me and was always there when I was sad or sick. He made sure I was alright at all times. We had to put him down when I was 14 years old because he was very old (18) and very sick. I miss him still, even now that 12 years have passed since then.
I was meditating last night, with a focus on Dream Recall and I began thinking about a dream that I had written about in my old dream journal. It was the story of how Manei (My dream guide) had come to be. Then new flashes that I didn't recall came in that filled in many of the gaps in the story. These all feel like dreams that I had at one point or another. I tried to piece them together based on the age she appears as in the dream. That might not be the best way to tell it, as her age can vary from dream to dream. But here is the story as accurately as possible. The original dream takes place in this old west town. Everything looks like a well drawn anime. Something along the lines of Attack on Titan style. The town looks like your typical western town though there is this ridiculously huge train station-hotel type building near the railroad tracks. The story roughly follows a young man with brown hair. He's kind of thin and scrawny and has bright blue eyes. (Kind of a typical anime protagonist) He works a job at some kind of news printing shop on the third floor of the big train station. He works long hours typing, and his boss is very mean, and isn't paying him well. Eventually he finishes his work. He goes out and about in the old west town for awhile where it becomes clear that he isn't very liked by the people in the town. He gets bullied by some thugs that take what little money he has earned. We then get a love interest. Apparently, the only thing keeping this boy going is the hope that he could win over this one woman. She is a young girl with blonde hair from a very wealthy family that has invested in the town's gold mine (or something) and were visiting to see the progress. They were also the company that had built the giant train station, and the company that employed the boy. We see he finally gets the confidence to ask the girl out, but she says no, and later leaves on the train along with her family. The train looks strange as well. It has very large wheels. So the boy becomes very depressed. We see him walking through the old west town when he comes across another woman. Then, in a back alley, we see the woman that would be her mother. She looks a little like Manei with the darker complexion and in being very tall. But she also has this unusually shapely body and small, saggy breasts. Her face looks wrinkled as well, and she has grimy teeth. Probably from all the smoking. She is sitting Indian style on this red and gold woven rug and smoking out of some golden genie lamp type thing. She looks probably twice as old as the boy, maybe more. The woman tells the boy that she is on some kind of spiritual journey away from her tribe to find her soul-mate, and through some careful observation of him, thinks that he is the one. Heartbroken, broke and depressed, the boy accepts marriage with her. It is a year later, and we see that Manei is now being born. I can't recall where exactly, but it felt like they were back at the tribe. From what I can gather about the tribe, they live somewhere tropical, some island over the ocean, in these beautiful oriental styled homes. They find the colors red and gold meaningful and attractive in their tribe. Also in this tribe, it seems as though men and women's roles are reversed. Women hunt, fight and select their partners for marriage. When married, the man will take the woman's surname. It sort of makes sense, because many of the men in the tribe look small and feeble and the women are much bigger and stronger looking. Now I cannot recall too much about what happened. About one year after her birth, Manei's mother died, apparently because she had smoked that genie lamp thing too much. Her father was in line to become the husband of the tribe leader. He had his face tattooed up. I can recall a fragment when Manei was about five. Apparently she was living with 'grandmother', a 200 year old woman and eldest member of the tribe who took care of all children that couldn't be taken care of otherwise. I don't recall too much of the fragment, just that she was playing with the other kids inside a cramped hut. They are all playing with these little toys on this big woven mat. The 'grandmother' is sitting across from them, simply presiding in this golden throne-like chair. And what an interesting character she was: Unlike most of the people in this tribe, who seem very slender, she is hugely fat, with this big saucer-shaped belly wrapping around her body. And she is adorned in this ridiculously complex outfit her thinning white hair is tied up in this ugly spiral on top of her head. Her face is so wrinkled and droopy that you can barely make out her features. Some of the kids tease her because her dad isn't a 'real' member of the tribe. The 'grandmother' speaks something incomprehensible in this big thundering voice that sounds like thor and scares all of the kids in the room. It scared me too, and I was just 'observing' the story. I think she told them to stop teasing her, because the kids stopped afterward. Manei looked to be nine in the next segment. Her father died when the tribe came under attack not too long ago, and the 'grandmother' passed away as well. She is now spending a lot of time with her aunt and uncle who are married but can't have kids. Nothing much really happened here. They walk through the jungle to this waterfall like place where they all go swimming. There is this high waterfall (maybe 50 feet) and Manei climbs to the top and jumps off. Manei looked to be eleven or twelve in the next segment. In this I can recall her wanting to be a 'fire dancer' that was supposedly some prestigious position in the tribe. And it's just what it sounds like. The dancers take this long stick, that is burning on either end and preform a synchronized, high-energy dance with about 7 or 8 women. I think men can fire dance in the tribe as well. She is learning from some of the older girls in the tribe who looked to be about the age she is now. She is practicing with a stick that is not burning. She doesn't seem to be that good but is rather obsessed with this trick where she balances on top of the stick with a handstand. All of the older girls are really jealous, so they say that if she tries that trick during the dance she would just get burned, and they kick her out of the group. In the next segment, she was maybe fourteen. There is a big gap in what happened and why. But she is now studying with these monks in how to become a dream guide. Given she is about the same age as I am, this was really close to when I began lucid dreaming. But there is also a gap because I already established that she was in my dreams before I started lucid dreaming. Explanation please. That said, this was a very strange location. The monks live in a monastery on top of a mountain. The inside of the monastery, or at least the room they were in looks like a dungeon though, with stone walls and these torture devices. The monks are like midgets. Maybe 2'6" with giant heads for their bodies. They have tattoos that are quarter-sized black dots running in a line up their the back of their heads down their faces. Manei apparently had to shave too, because she has no hair. She looks very strange shaven. The monks are presenting her with a gold belt and telling her she has to compete in some kind of fighting tournament. That's the end of the Manei story, now some other stuff. Rhis was recall from last night. Something to do with me riding my bike through across a boardwalk through this swamp area. It feels like I am riding through my town. I 'remember' that there was some sort of time travel involved and this was actually the distant future. I can recall some being told some other story. This one told in a style that looks like a Tim Burton film. The story is read to me by the grim reaper who is sitting in a small bed floating in a blue void, and reading it out of a big book. I can't recall the story as well as the one about Manei, but the story follows a girl who can't seem to fit in. So she tries to kill herself and see if she will fit in in the afterlife. She becomes a zombie and tries to hang out with zombie girls throughout the majority of the movie. At the end, we see her kill her zombie form and become reborn as this blue troll creature on another planet. There is also some part of the story that involved Groot and Rocket Racoon (from Guardians of the Galaxy) playing a game of pool, but I can't recall how that fit into the main story. There is also some recurring theme in the story that whenever the main character (the suicidal girl) wants to get somebody's attention for one reason or another, she will knock on the wall behind her.
I don't remember too many details of this one because I was asleep for a while between having it and writing it down. In fact, I almost forgot it entirely. I'm in a room interacting with a DC when I become lucid. I remember my goal of attempting the second basic TOTM and robbing a bank with only a banana. The first step, is getting out of the room. There's a window, which I open and lean out of. The room is many stories above the ground. I decide to jump out. I do a couple of RCs to make extra extra sure I'm dreaming, then slither out and fall. I expect it won't hurt and, though I do feel a definite crunching sensation when I hit the ground, there's no pain. I get up but big black spots start appearing in my vision. I attempt to stabilize but become convinced that my IRL body is moving with my dream body. I decide to hold on for a DEILD. That's the last I remember. Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid
Tried WILD 3 times durin the night - but I think I was too tired - the effort was annoying me somewhat! Again all non lucid - damn! Fragments - The Doctor (as played by David tenant) saying he was 100,000 years old. - something about meeting a couple of old dears doon the street. Dream - In a pretty cool second hand bookshop. Two rooms connected by a wee passage. My wife was with me and someone else. There was a continual pressure for me to hurry up for some reason. I suddenly spotted a heap of gamebooks (another IRL hobby for me) , the first were a couple of Lone Wolf books which I didn't have , one of them was book 5 , there was a picture of a tiger on the cover. I found a book with a purple cover written by a familiar author (cant mind now) , thought it was a gamebook, had a wee flick through but it wasn't. I found a few more gamebooks , I had them stacked in the crook of my arm. I remember seeing a copy of 'The Haunted Castle of Ravencurse (which I do have IRL) but it had a different spine to the one I have. Dream - Some DC said my sideburns were looking ridiculous - they were covering the entire sides of my face! - I managed to shave one of them down to a better level, but got distracted (cant mind what doing) and was a bit upset because of my now wonky sideburns!
Fragment 1 I remember my dad preparing to leave to go somewhere (Belarus?) and saying that in his absence I would have to go to this shop and pick up some things he ordered on the Internet. I said okay, and asked where the shop was. He said it was in a country which was not in Europe. He expected me to travel thousands of kilometres, apparently. He also said that when he comes back we'll have to go the United States at one point. I thought that was cool since I have never been there. Fragment 2 I was in a building that was presumably meant to be my school, but like large buildings tend to be in my dreams, it wasn't quite finished. There were staircases leading to nowhere and staircases without bannisters and such. I was going up this one staircase because I wanted to show this girl where something was, though I don't remember what.I went up this staircase which was made in a lavish style with gold bannisters. The staircase went up like a corkscrew but soon the bannisters ended, and then after so did the stairs. There was about a two metre gap between the last step and the gallery that we wanted to get on. However, the gallery was on our level vertically. There was a rope going from the gallery to our staircase, as a kind of improvised way to cross. There was about a 10 metre drop from the highest step to the floor, so it was going to be dangerous, especially with no safety equipment. One of my old teachers was on the gallery opposite us, encouraging us to cross and not be scared. The girl behind me hugged me tightly and said she was scared. It was the cutest goddamn thing ever. I, like a fearless gentleman, stroked her hand and reassured her that everything was going to be okay and that she should just do exactly as I do. With that, my recall takes a break and resumes when we're in this garden sort of place. There is a wide stone path running down the middle. It's an obstacle course; there are darker patches on the path on which you're supposed to walk, and then there are lighter ones which you can't touch. She went ahead of me this time; it was quite easy, though I remember losing my balance once. We got to a green patch of the path, about two metres long. There were signs on it - they explained that we couldn't touch the grass as it was against the rules, but that later on we'd find water as well (which wasn't actually water but just blue patches) and we could step on those. We could also step on ice. We jumped over the grassy patch and that's where my recall ends. Fragment 3 I also remember at one point texting my girlfriend and being annoyed at her for some reason. Fragment 4 I also remember being in a school with my brother and to our right there was a figure of a child holding up a book; there was the title in black letters and a subtitle underneath it saying "SUVAT" but the "T" was made by what looked like the end of a steaming flute. We laughed. "Ahhh, I remember SUVATs" I said. My brother read out the rest of the title as something like "Basic School Textbook of Mathematics". Fragment 5 I was taking a bath in water too cold for my taste. As in, water which was not hot, although it was still pretty warm. There were two bath tubs, one on top of the other, though the top one was to the side of the bottom one so you could climb into the bottom one. I barely remember filling up one of them. I sat in the bottom bathtub and could see all the dirt swim around in the water. I got up and looked down, and noticed that my private parts were bleeding. I wasn't too concerned and I submerged myself again. Fragment 6 My brother and I were at what was supposed to be some kind of scout initiation thing. We were going to be scouts, and we were in a group with about five girls. So we were the only guys. We all stood in a row and one of the girls stepped forward and put her arms out to the sides. The people in the row did too, including my brother. I had no clue what was going on but I did the same. Then the row sang like two or three lines of a song while swaying to the tune. I tried to copy them. I suddenly remembered that we were supposed to have read the scout initiation handbook and that I hadn't bothered to read it. Once the dance was complete, the girl chose another girl to replace her. That girl then went up and we did the same thing again. This continued for a few times. Fragment 7 I was walking down an alleyway when I noticed a small man standing in the bottom half of a camcorder and with the top half on his head. As I got closer, he noticed me and went into the bottom half, forming a complete camcorder. I stopped in front of him and bent down, then waved to the lens, showing him that I'd noticed him. Then I continued on my way, but after a few steps quickly looked over my shoulder. The man was standing up again. Then my siblings came to me and we all opened up the camcorder and pulled the little man out.He looked dead but he came around after a short while. He then thanked us for setting him free and ran away. Dream I was in a building that had a courtyard. I was looking out of a glass-less window at the courtyard. I had what looked like a First World War rifle on me and I had the absolute conviction that I was fighting for all that is good in the world. There were soldiers in cover in the courtyard and they were shooting at me. I was shooting back, except my gun seemed to be a Quasar Laser gun and it didn't shoot bullets at all, but I was trying to hit the soldiers as much as I could. Their guns were just like mine, though they also had pistols. There were other people shooting at the soldiers next to me. I remember one soldier leaning right out of cover and I hit the end of his gun, causing it to jam. Then he leaned left and I shot again. After a while the shooting stopped and people gathered on the courtyard.The soldiers were taking them prisoner. I went around the building, careful not to be seen from the courtyard. I was seen by one of my friends, who nodded. I then went around and ended up seperated from a courtyard by a heavy gate, a kind of a portcullus. The courtyard behind it was now huge, with Polish flags hung all around it. I noticed an old woman at the opposite end of the courtyard and I thought that she had supernatural knowing powers, so it was vital she didn't notice me. I also had this thought in my head that said that if I thought along those lines, the dream would act my thoughts out and I'd get spotted. Somehow, I didn't get lucid, but the old woman did notice me and started to point at me. I turned from the gate and there were two people there; I asked where the exit to the castle was. They pointed down the corridor. I started running. I came out onto a stone square, still on castle grounds, and noticed a lot of people escaping as well. I ran towards the exits which were towers that you had to go up and then out of the caste, since the castle was in an area of lowered ground. The towers were completely crowded, so I went to the left of one and I climbed up the wall of the crater. I came out onto the road and looked behind me. There were two men on horseback, they looked like hussars of the Polish army from the 17th century. They were pushing through the crowd, going to get me. Then I thought I was in a dream, though I still didn't get lucid, and pulled out my sabre which I suddenly had. Then the dream dissolved and I imagined killing the men, by first slashing across the knees of the horses.
big dreaming night again, not lucid though: 00:00 Wednesday 2014-08-13 00:30 pre-bedtime: day memory review, set intention for the night 00:57 bedtime 07:51 + watching from high DO position a video of us moving back into our old house. My wife and I are watching this as a fond memory. The next-door neighbors are moving in too at the same time, so our moving van can't pull exactly in front of our house, it must stay out in the street double-parked in front of the neighbor's house. Neighbor's house is to the right, ours to the left. View starts out to the right of neighbor's house looking forwards/left to our house, and finishes up pointing to the right looking back at the moving van. I see our old dog come out on to the sidewalk and visit the neighbor's dog, they're sniffing each other's noses and are really happy. I see a former manager of mine bringing a load in. Then I see myself skinny in jeans bringing in a load, I've really lost some weight living in that other place for a while. + setting up in a new house, I'm a teen, walking through small but very ornately decorated rooms, ask my "dad" in the office where I can set up my computer, he says do it in my room, mom will tell me where to do it. The desks are like 18th century large ornate wooden desks with cusioned wooden chairs, there are little nooks throughout the cramped rooms. + (all DO) I see a woman lying back on a medical examination table. Spoiler for NSFW: She's naked and her legs are spread, her knees are up and feet are down on the table, and I see a very large penis come up from beneath the table and penetrate her fully, I sort of do a double take and see this again. My view transitions to being inside the woman I have a view of her cervix from inside the womb (a little pink sphincter extending a bit inside from the wall) it's a large industrial setting with lots of scaffolding and things moving around on assembly lines, not fleshy. I think the woman's been tricked and doesn't realize that the physician's attendant put his on penis into her and is having sex with her, instead of her getting the artificial insemination procedure she wanted. I look at her cervix and see a penis tip poke through, and then streams of artificial insemination semen shoot out into her, not from the penis, but from a tube on the side. . This is an artificial insemination procedure. Afterwards, a female attendant leads the woman through a hallway under a series of round lights/indicators, the attendant is shining a flashlight/tool up at t he indicators, and they're lighting up in response (showing the pathway to the waiting room?) as they walk by. In the waiting room there is a buffet of wine, and there are physicians there, a group of them. The woman says she hopes for twins, and the physicians berate her for this wish. The indicator lights (are numbered?) and seem to indicate which of the insemination procedures were successful. The attendant says they do a lot of procedures so at least one will work, I imagine a tool repeatedly entering the patient making a "deposit." The attendant is the woman's advocate, and then a male advocate arrives as well, he's a young man with blonde hair, very energetic. Leaving the waiting room I see the bottle of wine up close, the label has been partially scratched off. They move to another room and sit and I think about these two advocates for the patient. +(f) some NSFW time with a "male toy". Spoiler for NSFW: Is is in the shape of a female mouth with a tongue extending down, the tongue looks like a ladybug: circular with black spots on it, I rub my (ahem) on this "tongue". Later the part hanging down seems to be a woman's hand with fingers. + suicide bomber gas truck/driver in the garage of my childhood home, it's night outside. The driver is standing outside the driver window against the wall of the garage and I'm in the middle of the garage looking in the passenger side window of the cab of the truck, (I'm holding a shotgun pointed at the window?), the guy has left out his final meal of fast food, there are lots of styrofoam take-out containers sitting open with chicken strips, fries, and lots of bright sticky/sweet sauces. I eat some of his fries, dipping them into one of the sauces. Someone up on the street distracts him and the truck is pulled back out to the street above the house. He intends to drive the truck into the house to blow it up, I think what if there is no spark/explosion and the house just gets broken from the truck driving into it, will he be satisfied? + Our family is in a waiting room in an institution with a lot of other people. We're meeting/helping out our foster/adopted daughter. The authorities announce that only one member from each group may enter, so my wife goes in. After some time people are milling around and everybody goes in, I go in too. I see our "daughter" come out, she is a late teen with very pale white skin (not sickly, just no sun, like a redhead can be), she is wearing a wide-brimmed hat, she's walking from my left to my right. I lean over and under her brim to give her a fatherly kiss on the cheek, but because of the hat I get her on the lips instead, we're both a bit embarrassed. + Sitting in a room with Aimee Teegarden (:heart: :heart, I'm preparing to go to the dance, I'm father-aged and she's a teen (not my daughter though), she says she's sick so won't go to the dance. I'm bummed because I wanted a dance with her, I see her long, sexy legs. I ask her to take off one of my socks at least, I'm trying to get them off. She moves across the room and I see her enter a deep sexy kiss with my son, no way can we leave those two alone, I know where that's leading to. She's behaving a bit loopy and I see her pouring something from a little (buiding-shaped) piggy bank into her drink. I think it's alcohol or drugs. + The secretary wants to hire the applicant (who is dark skinned and has a massive bust) immediately, and jumps for joy saying "I get to play with boobies!" and shows the applicant the work salad bar on the other side of the large table from me, with another coworker +(f) I'm taking pictures of a guy the tablet is not behaving correctly, I see the pictures of this guy in a few different places + In school sitting down at open desk, my desk is taken, I think if someone tells me I took their desk I'll say mine was already taken. FF comes and sits down in the column of desks next to me, and it looks like he's going to sneeze on me, I say "I can not get sick!" and hold up my elbow/arm in front of his face to block the sneeze. We need to open our books to a particular story for reading but I can't find the story in my book which turns into a pile of little books. + We're shooting photon torpedoes at the enemy ship, 3 groups of tree, each group hits, I see the blue shining torpedoes fly straight and pass through the hull of the enemy ship (no explosion), the enemy ship starts to sink, we're walking through hallways preparing for battle, we realize we don't know anything about the enemies, we've never encountered their race before (little green men), we must build up our weapons and resources before the enemies arrive here on this planet. I see some rifles lying around they're old-time looking made from lots of wood. I'm setting up a revolver, I'm going to construct a candle and light it on the hammer so that when it hits the pin the flame will ignite the bullet and fire it, I look for approval for this idea. I reach in to extinguish the wick which leads into the cylinder I lick my fingers and pinch the fuse to extinguish it, but I see the flame has spread and now the whole gun is on fire. The emergency services has reached the enemy ship and is towing it now by us. The enemies taunt is as they drive by in a jeep, our captain says he's been preparing for this meeting (for a week?) and is ready. They drive over some of our supplies. Where was this recall when I needed it in the competition?
Updated 08-13-2014 at 12:47 PM by 65364
August 12, 2014 I slept too deeply after the train ride to remember any dreams I had, but last night I had this one: I was walking up to my old elementary school with Zukin: We were going to break in. Well, I guess I should say, it looked like my second elementary school, but the inside was a mixture of it and my middle school, and the cafeteria was something new. Anyways. We were going to infiltrate the middle/elementary school. Once we got in (it was actually quite easy; we just had to open the doors and walk through), we found that it was lunch time. So we headed to the cafeteria. It was in the same spot as the cafeteria in my elementary school, but it looked more like my middle school's cafeteria. I was walking through the large room (it was wide open, with large spaces between the tables... Now that I think about it, it reminds me a little bit of my first elementary school's cafeteria, because I was so small and it looked like there was a huge space between the tables... hmm.) and heading to the table that had all the plates. Someone yelled for me to get a "cotton" plate, which apparently meant paper plates, because that's what I grabbed. I walked out a door and around a corner to the start of the line. I got up to the lady who would put things on my plate, and found that it was someone who'd been there when I was in school there. She recognized me, and at first I thought it would be bad and I would have to run, but she was all friendly and chatty. She put food on my plate in a really weird way; she put some veggies on, and then a few noodles, then more veggies, and then a piece of some sort of meet, then more noodles, and then more meet, and one more single veggie. She was about to put the desert on my plate, but she said, "Close your eyes, it's a surprise!" And so I closed them. When she said it was okay to look, I looked down at my plate and saw a cookie. I paid the cashier with my debit card, and then went out to find a place to sit; I chose to site at a table with two kids at it. I asked a boy if I could borrow his napkin, and he handed me one of them. I used it to wipe off the condensation on my drink. I crumpled the napkin up and set it on the table, and said thanks. After I'd finished eating, I found Zukin again. We had gone separate ways once we got inside, but now we were meeting up to infiltrate the school-wide event for the last half of classes. It was a party of sorts, and we decided we had to be together for this one. We were just about to turn the corner into the hallway that leads to the gym when a guard stops us and asks us where our parental permission slips were. We didn't have any, so we turned away and tried to exit the building at the door right in front of us, but the guard then asked if our parents were here to pick us up, because or else they couldn't let us go. We scoffed, flashed our driver's licenses, and said, "Do we LOOK like middle-schoolers?!" And then ran past the guard laughing. We crossed the street and started running down it, toward my house. But I don't like running, and asked Zukin to slow down, but she kept running but in a teasing way; she would slow down until I cought up and then, thinking I was ready to keep running, would go on. I told her to stop again, and we stopped about halfway down the second street on the way to my house. "Christ girl, slow down when I say so. You know I can't run worth crap." I said, and we stood there giggling about infiltrating the school.
August 10, 2014 I was on a long train ride for most of the weekend; I only really remember one dream from the whole ride: I had just woken up and started walking around the train; I went to the front engine and got to drive the train, but I don't remember where I drove it.
This morning I visited the doctor to get some blood taken. During the drawing process, I lost consciousness. The time in between was basically lost--I do not have any real solid feeling of "being" anywhere, except some flitting images or colors that my mind was attempting to process. I couldn't even really claim to have had a "self" at this point--basically just a feeling of confusion and bewilderment. In retrospect, I imagine this is what animals must feel like at times, and it was highly . . . disconcerting. As I began to come out of it, in darkness, I had the distinct feeling of being in both a sitting position and a lying position, and it became crucial to me to understand which of these my body was currently in. Once I was revived (eyes open and conscious) I still did not recognize any of the people there (my doctor and two nurses) or where I was until my doctor explained what had happened. I tried to explain my confusion: "I didn't know where I was!" My doctor very compassionately nodded, as though he understood. Maybe he did. Very unpleasant experience--basically fatigued for the rest of the day with a mild headache. So here was what came to me: was what I experienced coming out of the state (or within the state? hard to say) an example of what death will "feel" like? If so, I can only say I expect it will be terrible--at least the dying part.
Updated 08-13-2014 at 07:26 PM by 69552
I've been on a bit of a lucid dry spell lately, so I decided to invest in a bottle of Lucidimine to see if it would have any affect on my dreams. Last night was the second night I took one capsule before bed, and I had success! So, Lucidimine is a nootropic that contains two ingredients that I have read are both huge in aiding with having vivid dreams: Galantamine and Choline. Not to say a newbie to lucid dreaming could pop a pill and become aware, but this kind of thing works best with a lucid practice that you already have in place for yourself. So... I met a girl. A girl with beauty that fully captured my attention. She was wearing summer clothes sitting in a knee-hugging position looking off into the distance. She looked at me with a warm smile and I locked eyes with her; a deep army green with shimmers of matte silver speckled in seamlessly. She gave me a laugh as if she has known me for along time, as I must have been looking at her with wide, awestruck eyes. I was content just looking at her, simply admiring her tranquil yet sharp beauty. Her ear lobes were abnormally large and circular with no earrings or holes. The most striking physical aspect of her was a blue hole in her neck located where her jugular would cross through. It was a blue hole that I interpreted to be as some sort of breathing gill apparatus. I then asked her to describe herself to me, and what she said caught me off guard... She said "I have fourin-parents," as if her means of coming into existence was not the traditional mother-father way. What the hell are "in-parents?" I still haven't decoded that part of it all, but I do believe I have found one of my spiritual guides.
Dream 1 - 4:50AM I'm inside a petrol station when someone steals. The store clerk (SC) hits the panic button which is next to me at the counter. I think the panic button locked doors from the inside or called police. The person gets out in time and enters a car which has a sanded down side door panel. The SC walks out into the back room. I wander around the shop and I start to feel as if I would be suspicious if caught walking around the shop by myself with no SC to be seen. I see the SC walk back into the room and try and make it as if I'm not up to no good, so I ask if the person got away. They did. I see the car drive passed station on the main road. I see someone behind the SC that I know. It's Pet Rediva. He asks me how to update a graphics card for a computer. I reply asking if it's an AMD card, which it was, and tell him to download a program called AMD auto-update. My cousin Phill who was next to be nods his head and agrees that it's the correct way. Phil looked like he was thinking of an option to download as I said it. I tell Pete that I you can there is generic brands which is linked to AMD, which can also be updated. Pete gives off the impression that he's confused. More people are now in the petrol station and there's a long L shaped table which is about 10-15 metres long, with people sitting at it. I seem to be smoking, and see that MMA Legend Tito Ortiz is standing next to me at the counter. I don't think he likes the smell of cigarettes and I respect that and turn away from him towards the bin. I then move to the other side of the table where I see a chair under the table. A man is tapping his hand on it and I feel bad for taking it and think about giving it back to him. I'm now at my house and it's night. Dad and I are outside and reversing car into garage. He's backing up on a different angle then he usually does and I think about getting out and helping him. I didn't want him to drive too dose to my gym or mess up the gym flooring. Dream 2 - 8:50AM I'm in a MMA cage and I see 2 MMA fighters, Uriah Faber playing around wrestling with Jon Jones. Two Thai fighters are at each corners of the cage and ready to fight one another. There's an announcement of a new season of The Ultimate Fighter. The cast members of the season all walk into the cage. They all look around 5 foot tall and look of Thai descent. The fighters in the corner are in the new season also. One of them is upset when he figures out who's going to be his coach. It's Tim Kennedy. Dream Fragment: Dad says something about knowing that his parking sucked due to seeing my dream diary. I thought it was fascinating that he changed what he was going to due to my dream entry. (Think this another dream linked to first dream when Dad was reversing the car) Side Notes: Woke up at 4:45AM and couldn't get to sleep for some time. Practiced the SSILD technique for the hell of it.
Well at one point in time I had an extensive journal but considering this is the first time I've been back since 2010, it's all gone so we'll just start with last night. Teeth I'm with my best friend Becca, and we're sort of in this inhabited desert area. Most of it is deserted; I know there's a wooden, crumbling shack behind me but I never turn around. In front of us is a store of some sorts, and Becca is with her new truck. She's on top of it, and I'm on the ground looking up at her. We're discussing something but I can't think of what. I remember we somehow materialize into the shack behind me. It's someone's house, and I'm up on the third floor in the bathroom. I'm staring at myself in the mirror, and I realize with a very paralyzed sense of panic that my front teeth are falling out. Nothing gory or painful, just casually dropping out of my mouth. I remember I was really freaked out, but I was just sort of passive and disinterested. I recall turning and facing the bathtub. I end up with a mirror in my hand and I am staring at my last tooth. I wiggle my mouth and it just drops out into my hand I remember staring at my bare gums, and running my tongue over the gap in my mouth. Again I get this feeling of apathetic terror - this is revolting and alarming, but I just don't really care. I remember I end up staying in the bathroom, and I'm holding my teeth in my hands. Graphic Warning I pick up one of my teeth and it's got the nerve ending sticking out of it. It's like a thin, hair like string with a little spiked ball at the end. I can liken it to the pollinating part of a verbena flower, but I doubt anyone else will get that. I actually just googled nerve ending and the images for it look close to exactly how my dream was. Anyway, I remember staring at it and being really afraid it would hurt if I touched it. But it didn't. I remember plucking them out of my teeth just for the heck of it. I got to a pair of my teeth stuck together. It was my broken tooth in the back of my mouth so I'm assuming more just fell out. I pull out the nerve ending from it and it fascinates me. I remember waking up and being terrified it was real. I was very relieved to run my tongue over my still in tact teeth
Grossssssssssssssssssssssssssssss....... :hurl: Ok here's what happened: I remember being in the car with my real dad, driving down the highway. It suddenly dawned on me that I shouldn't be in California, so I bet I'm dreaming. I had just enough doubt about it though, and didn't want to just open the car door. Plus even lucid accidents can hurt. So I tried to be subtle by just poking my finger through the roof of the car, and it went through as if it were made of jello. YES! My dad glanced over at me with a "wtf?!" look on his face. I said "No time to explain! I gotta take out my eyeball real quick." I took 3 fingers from my right hand, and curved them into a sort of scoop, then stuck them in the inner corner of my right eye. It felt loose and ready to easily scoop out. So I scooped it out, but it acted like it had some pressure built up behind it, like it's been meaning to come out for a while (which it HAS.. been attempting this task for a while). So when it came out, about a foot of optic nerve and optic muscles kinda hurled out with it, with my eyeball still attached. My dad and I both screamed "Ew GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!" and I got a flinch of panic. "What if I can't put my eyeball back in and can't wake myself up, and have to go through this whole dream with a gross dangling eyeball?" Because let's face it, it felt real, and I was no blind in that eye. So I oh so carefully shoved the whole mess back into my eyesocket, all the while telling myself "It'll be ok, it's going in fine, no problem." It went back in fine, and I blinked a couple times and could see again. My dad was looking at me peripherally with a mixed expression of disbelief and disgust. Then I just lost it. I bent forward and howled with laughter. I mean, it was a deep, jolly LOUD laugh at all the ridiculousness that just happened, and then I woke up.
From the snippets - still quite okay recall - no lucids - but this was nice: I found an animated book on the evolution of the mumins - soo sweet - and it had sound, the book was explaining what you could see. At the end they became enlightened mumins, which started with shining symbols hovering over their heads and then being assimilated into them. To be honest - I stole this book in the dream, and a friend noticed and told me not to do that - I said I only want to make photocopies, but it wasn't so - I wanted it talking... How would I love to still know, what it said, or could draw the symbols. Edit: Reading "Why We Get Sick" by Randolph M. Nesse at the moment.
Updated 08-13-2014 at 04:10 PM by 66050
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