dream fragment

I was going home from the cellar again, when small vortices formed, I panicked and ran further down the hill.
The city was quite different now. There were very tall trees covering the sky , but a tornado formed there too...
I don't remember the rest

7th December 2020

Very fragmented:

Me and H were getting some pipes out of an organ. It was a rank supposedly, but actually it can't have been more than an octave.

Pipes were semi-stopped? With some blue felt inside the top to achieve this.

Some other bit, something about water in a container; it looks odd inside. I drink some (why?) but it has weird fibres floating in it. I try to search online about it.

But then we pour the water out on the floor and it's revealed that the fibres were half parasite things; they moved but incredibly slowly. Later I sweat them out through my thighs and I decide to use a H2O2 spray to kill them all and almost bathe myself in it too so it soaks into me and kills any remaining inside my body. I have doubts about what I'm doing and what is going on.

At a mansion place, I'm with my family here. We're guests to some friend of dad. I remember paintings hanging on the walls. There are stone or white wood ballustrades and there's no ceiling or it's made of glass. The host eventually becomes very surprised when he learns (from a servant?) how much it had cost him to accommodate all of us here.

An unknown man comes in, he's wearing a dulled red jumpsuit. He is a thief, I quickly observe but I allow him to continue and I say nothing. I do not dislike our host but yet I allow this thief to steal from him.

But when he tries to steal a painting with strange colouring patterns on it, with the figure of a woman in a white-ish dress, I let him get away with it for a while before I start following him. I follow him into a corridor and jump on him and tell him he absolutely cannot take this painting because it's special to me. I think I'm angry? I ask him to take anything else except for this painting. I tell him that there are many other paintings in this big house and that many are by famous artists and can fetch far better prices on a black market.

I have some feeling the painting is about my cousin T, but there was nothing identifiable on it that would indicate this. The visual recall is too vague.

Then, we're all leaving. I am more wary about the thief now but allow him to continue with his subtleties. I see mom and my sibling T and three others from the family, squeezed inside a white or silver Peugeot. I don't notice which is side the driver is on. I try to find the car I'm supposed to get in, but I can't find it.

Eventually I'm just walking around a town with dad and some more family. It's sunny, with a few clouds. Distant mountains kind of like where I live now, but sharper contours? But otherwise the area looks more like my native country even though it is a dream-generated place. In the distance I also see a thin but very tall smoke stack.

Dad tells me this stack is for the purpose of "releasing the excess gas from the dormant volcano", and he refers to the volcano by name but I lost the recall of that name.

We all cross a street at a crossing, except dad, who goes into an open manhole, with a warm orange glow coming out of it. I look in and there's a vertical climbing pole at the centre of it and it seems to go down a very long way, it's bright inside but a saturated orange dominates. I tell the rest I'll lag behind so that dad can catch up with us. I am across the road and there's some kind of cafe on this side. The rest of the family go in and through the cafe and out again on another side.

(recall gap)

Mix of several RPGs and reality. I kill a mob pack referencing something to Lord of the Rings. A unique and unidentified teal rarity ring drops and there's some kind of interface overlay even though I'm in first person.

It's some kind of occult void ring. It distorts reality around it and I put it on, on my right hand I think. I'm in a room with pews, gothic windows and some kind of statues too maybe. Everything becomes dark except outside through the windows still seems bright, if dull. There's some kind of wind that I can't feel, but can see. Objects like the pews leave a trailing ghostly effect, with a dark, dark red after-shadow-image.

I go to a piano. I realise there's two time limits now that I see at a top/central position of some UI. I was supposed to do something on the piano and don't manage to open some kind of secret passage in time.

Then there's a cutscene about an ogre and a witch. There's animosity between the characters and there's an extreme distance between the two. Some dialogues? He loses all the will he had to kill her for some reason but still he rampages forward. While watching, I make note of the fact that there's some gold piled up in the side of some rooms as the ogre goes through these large underground gothic halls.

---

Notes:

- The ogre and the witch were very stereotypical in their representations.

- The woman's painting had a dark background that contrasted her brighter dress. The painting had a rainbow-like spotty pattern all over it, like light scattering or something. It's similar to an idea I've had for painting but I haven't been able to attempt it properly.

- Before falling asleep, I tried doing this active imagination thing and I remember getting a bit lost or carried away in it, especially as it made me get closer to falling asleep.

- The smoke stack is like one where I live but it was taller than that; I'm not sure what the volcano thing could be about.

12/11/20

I am with R and E, I gather we are going to a small restaurant to work some big event. Somehow I am in possession of a live crab for some reason. I put it in the trunk of the car we drove over in.
We go into the restaurant we are taking it over to cater a wedding I think. I am unsure if I am cooking or serving. The cooks there are unsure if they are working our event or not.

I start to help set up tables and chairs in the typical bustle of before event catering.
The band is setting up on the stage, I notice a black and white fender that looks pretty nice. I pretend to play the air guitar, it appears on me and I am holding it playing it suddenly. I am embarrassed that I didn't ask to play it first. The guitar belongs to one of the ladies getting married as they are walking onto the stage together. I quickly put the guitar back and apologise, going about my work.

I now notice this is going to be a lesbian wedding, they are both older ~mid forties maybe, shorter rounder build and kind of messy reddish hair. They seem kind and non elitist, but they still treat me like the help.
All the guests are there and I notice kind of worriedly that no one is wearing masks. I am unsure of my duties or even if I want to stay here.

So I sit down at a table with other people and order a glass of wine. There is a younger kid next to me who orders wine as well. I am suspicious but the waiter serves him anyway, whatever, their funeral. I gather this is a somewhat ritzy crowd and everyone is used to getting their way.

I eventually end up at the mother of the brides table. She is older and white haired, she almost reminds me of Betty White. She definitely has a charming smile and is very joyful for the occasion. She seems to have taken a strong interest in me, I can tell she likes me, perhaps I remind her of someone from her past. She asks me if I am a time traveler. I say yes, but I can only travel in one direction. She laughs uncontrollably dipping her head towards the table. The other workers seem to be jealous I am now part of the party. The dream fades as we continue our conversation.

I see a giant Pringles can on its side it feels like a float, it is floating like a balloon it is mostly white. It reminds me of a falcon 9 booster on its side only it's lighter than air.
I put it on like a hat and ride a tricycle like scooter around through crowds and lines of people. Maneuvering my way through buildings that almost remind me of a 90's pizza place. Everyone laughs/ gets bonked by the length of it as I pass them.
I try to cross traffic through a highway and almost get hit by cars coming towards me.

(night of) 10-12-20

Pre-sleep : focusing on Becky
1) Early night dream (1:21-1:37) I'm fighting in a big huge field, I'm beating up these people one by one - they are mean horrible racist (white supremacists) things. Each time I smash one to the ground I see an image of a black woman and child pop up (almost like I am saving them) but it's all very much in a video game type of format. Though the format is daft my rage is real, I feel so angry I need to get rid of these vile human beings. I go deeper and deeper into this infinite field, and rack up quite a few points, feels kind of like Classic Doom game. I wake up with my blood pumping

2) (from long dream period of 3:16 - 4:00) Suburban setting: Middle America, an innocent looking back yard with a white picket fence, and then some kind of electrical sparks -and 'boom' the whole area around the house has been morphed and changed, sparking different colors and metals (though layered on top of the same structures) And a bunch of scary looking aliens appear in this mess, armed to the teeth and running after the lady who did this: Now we see a blond lady, mid twenties, she is driving away from this craziness, driving in her pink Cadillac, no roof and I am sitting in the back with another person. Behind us the aliens are catching up, but a invisible triceratops comes stampeding around the corner and bashes the aliens out of the way. Now we have the same scene from the viewpoint of the Triceratops, his journey begins - seemingly willed into existence just after the aliens appeared, outside the american house. He sees the aliens and feels and urge to chase after them and we see the pink Cadillac from the perspective of the triceratops now, as he charges directly at the aliens saving the car from harm.
After a few moments the car slows down to a halt and I ask the lady driving the car what she has in the glove compartment - I m not sure WHY I ask though. I climb forward to the front seat and open it - inside it's like a doorway to another universe, vast and open, I don't know how it is this big. The door to open the glove compartment is both regular size and the size of an actual door.
**time missing**
I ve warmed up to this lady with the blonde hair, we have a spark between us, I know she likes me too. We sit at a dinner table, a bunch of us eating and I move seats so that now I am sitting directly across from her. I want to talk to her more, kiss her even. My wife walks into the room, I'm confused - am I married? I recall then that I AM married, and I don't know what to make of these feelings toward this woman now

3) Dream Frag (from 5:45 - 6:05) Watching an episode of classic Sabrina the teenage witch, She is in New York, in the middle of the new York iconic Central Park. She is walking past what looks like a coffee shop and now we see it is actually 'central Perk'. Phoebe pops her head out of the door. It looks like she is working there as it is late and she is cleaning up, she waves at Sabrina and we now know this is a 'cameo'. She runs over to Sabrina to say hi, but Phoebe is actually tiny compared to Sabrina, like a mouse, and there seems to be a crazy explanation here that she exists in a parallel 'smaller' reality. It makes for a comedic exchange between characters though


4) Short dream (7:19-7:27) Sitting in my house (that is not my real house) My wife asks me to write a song for her, she needs it for work. It looks like I am a professional song writer in this reality. I tell her I will, and start to talk some more but she butts in - then she starts to moan at me , saying that I always say that I will do things, but never actually do them (even though I was about to start) I tell her I just wanted to ask if she needed just the lyrics or the tune as well? because I usually just write lyrics. Then I am sitting on a sofa and I have longer hair, I'm suddenly a teenager again - and it is my step dad that is shouting at me - I get pissed off, I tell him to try to talk to me like an actual human being every once in a while.

Did WBTB. Lied back in bed and just daydreamed for a bit to catch a bit of sleep before work. There was moment where I was daydreaming myself walking down my neighborhood. That daydream turned into a lucid dream. It was cloudy outside with what I would describe as stationary tornadoes all around. I do have a fear of them like most sane people so I did my best to make it back to my house. My dream tried to do this weird thing where my movement kind of "sticks" when I am trying get somewhere fast. I figured out that if I use my mind to move instead of my dream-muscles I can overcome that.

After I found shelter, I tried to find my dream guide but for the life of me I can't ever summon them. Sadly, it is one of my most sought after goals. The most I've gotten was some glitching in the distance. I tried to "expect" them to be in the house behind me but the response I got was that the dream guide did not want to be bothered. I don't blame them, it was stormy outside.

Hmm, I might want to play around with "awareness of time" as a WILD anchor. Perhaps it was never about the many techniques I formulated over the years but the conflicting goals of wanting as much restful sleep as I can get within 30 minutes vs not wanting to over sleep and be late for work. Can't wait to test.

(night of) 09-12-20

Presleep - chanting to find the dog and discover it's name, I get a name while chanting randomly come to my head - not sure if it is the correct one or not....

Searching for 'Dog'

1) I'm having a series of False awakenings, it's dark, I know I am asleep so ignore the false dream around me forming, I fall back asleep, now it's dark, and I try walking, I walk into my bed where I wake again, still lucid - I get out of bed, but it's really dark now, I have to feel my way around, it's not entirely solid either so I have to make sure I am focusing so it is there. I walk down the stairs and what I feel like is my front door - I open it and... Still darkness. Fuck. I go to what I know must be the front garden and take a handful of soil and shove it into my mouth. It's awful, but I feel I am being more solid in the dream now, the area is lighting up around me. I'm in a kind of open space. I hear people talking, from the waking world - an older couple. Then I realize it's just my dream playing tricks on me, I need to focus. I recall my dream goal with Becky - and call out for 'the dog' I here a small voice shout back to me -
'I'm over here - I'm trapped!' I run over to a pile of rubble and lift the largest piece (a broken piece of rock) off of the body. A small boy crawls out, he has round glasses and messy brown hair.
'Hmmm, you're not the dog' I tell him
'YES I am!' he answers back indignantly. I give him a kind of look that says 'you are not fooling anyone'
'OK... I'm not' I look around me and I call out for the dog again. Now I hear a deep bark from somewhere in the distance. I look where the bark is coming from and see a kind of building site and a dark - very large -silhouette.
' He must be HUGE' the boy looks into the distance. Maybe bigger than a person? I don't know - but I want to find out. But before I do I wake up.

Past Times

2) In a small Cafe with a friend, I'm younger, hair is longer. We look how we did when we were going out, gothed up, dark make-up etc. One by one old friends come through the door, I get emotional again. I'm semi lucid. I left these friends too suddenly, I miss them terribly now, I wish I could go back but it's changed, I'm older, so are they. Anna comes through the door, I give her a big hug and start crying, telling her I don't understand why I am doing this - why I keep having this dream. When I wake up something dawns on me, back then I dressed and took my introversion and made me extroverted, I had much more confidence, and then I kind of shrunk back into the shadows as I got older, becoming more introverted. It's not just the friends I miss, but the confident younger version of me

Training

3) Dream frag - of training someone, or getting trained by someone (influenced I think from the Queen's Gambit series) and seeing a mirror behind me and noticing I have a huge bald spot on the back of my head - I never saw that before.

'UG'

4) Something about wrestling, Andre the Giant is coming out of retirement and fighting again (he's not dead in this dream!) a poster of him shows he is huge, gigantic, and super super muscular like the Hulk. some older guy is takling about when he first found Andre in a small town, and it was like striking gold - getting a super sized wrestler for the same price as a regular one. Now Andre is doing a spot for TV, advertising his come back - he is dressed like a viking, and his female viking warrior princess (with long dark hair) is standing opposite from him. His name is 'UG' - he tells her that he loves her but surprises everyone by saying his lines in this old Nordic language, the viking lady is surprised at first but then answers something back in Nordic as well

12/8/20

Walking around outside a Walmart I think, I keep finding folded up money on the ground. Only ones and fives but they are all folded different ways. Some of them aren't even full bills

Hanging out with Ninja and a couple of his friends in a room. They are being kind but one of them is still kind of shady so I keep an eye on him. At one point he comes back from upstairs and tells me my dad gave him this pen and hands it to me. I doubt him because the pen is important to me and there is no way my dad gave it to him. I call him out for it and ninja is embarrassed his friend is being shady.

Ninjas brother now is being really nice and shows me a bunch of gifts he got for me and my family. They are like Valentine's gift baskets with chocolate and various things in them. It now becomes combined with minecraft somehow and he tells me when I activate a certain point it will build a house for me on top of where we are. I am flabbergasted and very grateful I gather this thing was very important and it's very kind of him to spend so much money on me and my family. Ninja is also surprised.

The friend is gone and it's just him and his brother now they are both drinking and rather drunk. Ninja warns me we need to look out for his brother cause he is somewhat suicidal. We're upstairs and his brother is being sloppy drunk and they are goofing around each other. The brother wants to dive down the stairs cause he thinks it will be funny. We both say no and tell him not to cause it is dangerous and he could seriously hurt himself. We get him to stop but he's still being sloppy drunk.
We are outside now and the brother is laying down next to ninja, they are laughing about something so we stop laying attention to him for just a minute. He picks up a small firecracker looking object and puts it on his forehead. He says goodbye to us and lights the fuse. It is a thermite flare and immediately burns bright and downward with great heat and turns his head to ash. We are both taken aback and cannot believe this just happened. Ninja is in disbelief and quite emotional. I try to comfort him but am still in shock about the occurrence.

I use the little money I have left to buy a tracksuit. Like under armour tops and bottoms. It is cold out so I have a hat and a woven looking balaklava on. I am lining up with tons of other students for a track meet. I am still pretty upset about my friend but feel kind of numb about it, my parents keep trying to comfort me but I act apathetic. Mom tells me she is sorry I had to spend my money on a running outfit. I shrug. We are now lining up with other students who are stretching and getting ready for the meet. I feel like this is my first time running but still feel very capable to perform well. I acknowledge I'm not in the best shape and may not have the endurance but still feel like I may place. I see other people running and competing, I am unsure what event I will be in. I tell someone I've never been in track before (not true IWL) I see a couple kids practicing their baton pass. I decide there's no way I'm running more than 400m without dying. I wake up while talking to my dad who somehow jumped over a chair.

12/7/20

Kostas the Grecian baker is showing off a pumpkin plant growing on the wall of his bakery, talking about keeping the roots on the wall because it is so beautiful. I think he wants to harvest the blossoms to cook. I agree whole heartily and take some video for him.

I am walking down a hallway in a school going to class, all other classes have already begun. No one minds that I am late to the room.
I sit down at an open desk with my backpack. Everyone is already going over a test or homework.
When I sit down the desk is small and I fall backwards with the desk attached to me doing a roll, everyone kind of laughs but nothing is too disrupted.
I realize I am 32 and have been out of school for quite a while. I shout 'hey everyone! This is a dream!'
They cheer and start to get up, the teacher looks defeated. I say out loud that this should be obvious because I am older and have been out of highschool for over a decade, so this is definitely a dream.
I tell the whole class to pinch their nose and breathe to prove they are dreaming. Some are confused, some do it. I do it together with them and prove that I am on fact dreaming. It's a great feeling.
I leave the classroom, there is a group of students standing in the doorway blocking my way. I ask them if this is a door, because it definitely looks like a door. And one by one they move out of my way begrudgingly. The dream destabilizes multiple times in the hallway so I drop to the floor and feel the cool tile with my hands to re-stabilize the dream the hallway comes back into clarity and I begin walking again.
This happens several times in the dream I always drop down and feel the ground or rub my hands as I feel the dream start to collapse and with some focus it rematerializes around me.
While outside I fly around with ease, not as much effort as I remember it taking. I have a sort of iron man pose.
The school is now a 1800's military academy and I see rows of students/soldiers carrying bayonets.
They are scared of me, one of them throws their bayonet and almost hits me as I fly over. I fly higher into the air and over the pond. It's an old campus with a large pond in the middle and many older trees like southern live oaks.
The dream starts to crash again so I land and feel the grass through my fingers,I pay attention to the sounds of the water and the street nearby. The scene comes back but the soldiers are gone. There are creatures now moving faster than vision almost.
I reach out my hands and control one that has gone by me and is almost on the other side of the water.
I intend to control its movement and wind it back like a toy. I see it's movement slow. It is like an animated toyish looking trex that belongs on a playground spring but it is moving around very fast, it moves backwards and forwards and I am content with my control so I let it go.

I tell someone close to me that I am dreaming and they tell me to come with them, we all get in a car and they tell me I have to meet Theodore Roosevelt, they tell me that I'm gonna love Teddy.
He is showing me his collection of cars, one of them looks like a pre-model T but it's combined with a wooden boat. Without saying anything I help him take it down off a rack and fold the wheels down to drive. I complement the antiquity of the collection and tell him the oldest one is my favorite, Teddy is much more informal than I am expecting as he is wearing swim shorts and a safari hard hat. His mustache is large and pointy.
We go into an army bunker with other officers and the dream starts to collapse again. I drop down and feel the cool floor, then the windowsill and start to take in all the details and senses. The dream comes back but the men are gone. There is a redhead now who looks similar to Lucile ball. She is sitting on the edge of a desk in an all khaki military dress.
She is pleased to meet me, I ask if it's really her and she nods. I am so pleased to see her again. I wrap my arms around her lower half and just embrace her. I tell someone else in the room that this is the Prime Matriarch. She is my guide, I have been looking for her for literally months. It is an immense relief to be finally close to her so I just breathe it in for a few minutes.
There are several props and maps around the room she begins trying to show me things while explaining, I don't grasp the meaning of anything she says but the warmth of her presence is comforting.
The dream destabilizes again and I rub my hands together quickly and feel the walls of the barracks.
I hear talking and can feel sensations of the walls but my vision hasn't returned yet. I imagine where I just was and intend to step back into the barracks.

I am now with a couple old friends in their apartment. They show me a collectable figurine they have from one of the Batman cartoons. He undoes the box in a meticulous way to show me the figure inside and puts it all back before going into the other room.
The box falls forward and I grab it to put back on the shelf. Everything has become shifted in the box and I attempt to put it right. But nothing fits the way it was. I try to fold the box back up the correct way and am unsuccessful, I know they will be displeased that I messed up their collectable. They are leaving to go get ice cream across the street I tell them to wait for me while I struggle with the box
I finally give up and admit defeat, I have the thought that they will think I was trying to play with the toy rather than admire the collectable. They go ahead of me to the ice cream place anyway.

I am now in a 50's style diner, it's packed with classmates and people I used to know, they are all at different tables having their own conversations. I gather that I am still dreaming but don't intend to change anything.
I see the girl with blue hair and I tug on it as I walk by her but don't say anything. She follows me around so I talk to her in passing, then a girl I used to date runs up to me like an excited puppy and tries to derail my attention. It works and I give her the drink I have in my hand. The dream starts to crash so I drop to the floor again to re-stabilize.

The diner disappears, I am now in a highrise corner new york flat with large windows looking out to the night time city and only one other guy in it. He looks identical to Mark Sheppard. I tell him that I am dreaming and he agrees with me, I go through several periods of almost waking up but always come back into this room. Maybe 4 or 5 times. He is impressed but attempts to get my name. When he speaks details it is gibberish and the same with me, so he tries to write it down. They look like wingdings combined with korean characters. I describe very clearly what I see.
He tells me he wrote his name. But I cannot read it. He is very amused that we can have normal conversation but certain details seem to be 'edited' in real time from us. He tells me to find him when I wake up.
I write my name down in permanent marker but he tells me it just looks like random gibberish to him. We are both amused that we can't seem to share each other's name. I do manage to piece it together one of the times I phase back into his apartment after partially destabilizing. He says his name is Marc Bilit. I need to find him when I wake up. He is also surprised when I come back into the room. Apparently when I destabilize I just disappear from right in front of him, and when I come back I just pop back into existence. He is very tickled by this occurrence. Marc Bilit. Remember Marc Bilit it's very important that I find him when I wake up. We are working to understand cross communication between dreams.

Big giant house

I was in something like mansion. In something like a hallway, I stepped into a bedroom that had a lot of things in it. There was a bed and things all over the place. A keyboard started playing by itself, in just a couple of notes for a few seconds. It did this by itself. I went out of the room and found a long winding staircase. On the main level i walked through a few giant living rooms with old architecture. I found another staircase. But right beside the stairs a panel in the wall was missing. i saw my childhood friend Gary , his brother and a few other people sitting on a couch. I went down a few more steps into the room. Gary seemed annoyed that I was there but some older guy was telling me about the house and that it was haunted.

I said, "Yeah the keyboard upstairs plays by itself." He agreed with me. Several of us left the room. I went back up to the main level. I saw a winding staircase leading upstairs and I was trying to figure out the actual layout of the place. I found yet another large living room this time with 3 pianos. I was going to play one of them when i woke up.

House party.

I was hearing the Dark Tower audio throughout this dream. I'm on Wolves now, Now narrated by some old guy who butchers songs... I was in a living room with Manvi from work. I think she said she was having guests over. Something was spilled all over her table which was in front of a large TV. We both tried desperately to clean it up. After it was clean i sat beside her on the couch to watch TV. i think she was a little nervous because it was me and her. As if the dream responded to her nervousness suddenly her guests were there. There was a guy who was hearing the audiobook audio and asked if it was the Dark Tower. I said yes, and was going to have a conversation with him until i woke up.


Lucid

I was trapped in a house with some psycho guy. He had me in some traps like the movie SAW. He had a wife that told me I was a better fuck than her husband.. and i also have false memories of that act... Anyway they leave the room. I become lucid when i float up out of the traps. I fly up and intend a hole in the floor. I lower into another room. and for a while, I keep floating through more holes in more rooms. Kind of like those lucids where you are in a house and you keep finding hidden rooms and basements inside more rooms and basements and it an go on a long as the lucid. Eventually i wanted outside. I wanted to look for Jamie. I saw a house and went inside. My memory got really foggy and sped up. I found jamie, or a DC that looked like her and i remember feeling the desire to sleep with her. Not sure if we did.

either than that no jamie dreams. not sure if the lucid was her. I hope i get Jamie dreams regularly Like I use to.

12/6/20

I am at a sort of camping house which is located in a campground I frequent. It is a common area that seems like slightly nicer than a large shed. It is run down but charming like a rustic 3rd world b&b.
There are daily cleaners who tidy up the place and the shower always smells nice.
At a certain point I am doing laundry in a common space just casually listening to the sounds of the machines and the outdoors.
There are a few people who hang out in the common room/kitchen, it is familiar to me because I have spent a fair amount of time in this room. Other people have the same sense of ownership. They have special events which can be facilitated like communal meal time or paid tours of the grounds we are on. There may be lasertag? I gather it costs like ten bucks a night for a fold out bed in one of the rooms. It's not fancy but it's dry and warm. I live there for a while with friends from the campground. I meet amazing people and we form a sort of impromptu family unit.

Alex's wedding

Alex the French guy cooking and I become friends at the campground ground, we become best friends during the summer and while there he meets the love of his life. She is called Eve and just as wild as he is.
They hit it off really well while at the campground and are always around each other. At a certain point he asks her to marry him. Very happy for them both I tell him I am ordained and would love to officiate the ceremony for them.
Fast forward to the day of it is something slightly different.
His grand idea is to entertain her and her friend in the middle of a street while musicians set up behind them in a mass of chairs and perform their favorite sonata flash mob style. She is meant not to see the group before they are set up so him and I are attempting to distract them while the musicians show up. I am the main distraction. I am playing an accordion for the first time, I really enjoy how it sounds and remember some of the notes I play while dancing with the accordion like a drunk street performer, I get some compliments on passing.
Cars keep coming down the path and Alex is getting distraught because Eve and her friend see people coming in and setting up behind them though I think they try to pretend not to, to preserve the illusion of surprise. The road was supposed to be closed off but traffic keeps cutting through the parking lot driving past where we are, we move to only blocking one lane.
Her and her friend finally notice something special going on so he abandons the surprise and decides to move to an open part of the parking lot with no road going through it.

The location then turns into a large room like one of those strip mall churches with drop ceilings and tile floors.
She knows what's happening now, but it's ok the magic is in the air, everyone is getting excited now. She is getting ready with her bride's maids and they all have a different bright neon colour on. She is all blue in a tight fitting dress with a Massive blue fohawk, her friends have on, red and green with their hair dyed respectively, with also matching awesome huge hairstyles.
Alex has on a snazzy suit. It almost looks like a mix of period and futuristic style.

There are lines of chairs people are filing in taking their seats little by little. Alex was sitting next to me waiting for the orchestra to all get there and set up along with guests. At a certain point he goes to the doorway to see his fiancé. I think of the tradition and what people will think of him seeing her before the ceremony but he doesn't seem to mind. He stands with his back to the doorway and she comes up and gives him a kiss on the cheek, I am standing close to him, they are both giddy.
He glances to the side but doesn't see all of her.

Things then begin to be quite chaotic.
Not all of the orchestra is here yet, there is uncertainty if they will all show up.
A long tuba flute player is in front of me blowing into his flute thing, obviously bored.
The ones that are there are just casually tuning their instruments making that pre-show cacophony.
The bride starts to freak out a little bit, getting nervous and pacing back and forth at the front of the room. Alex goes up to try to comfort her to no avail.
I now have an open seat next to me. There is an older couple which walks in looking for a seat and asks me if the one next to me is open. I tell them that's the groom's seat but see many open seats behind me I motion towards.
There is a rough not unattractive girl who walks in, and I point to a seat behind me as well. A guy she was flirting with earlier in the dream(at the campground maybe?) is sitting next to the open seat. She mentions 'well at least someone can carry me out of here if I get too drunk' and the guy quietly pumps a 'Yes' fist action. I also gather she has some kind of show she is popular for.

Things are becoming more chaotic now as the couple begins to audibly fight at the front of the room. There is a great disagreement which neither party is seeing eye to eye. The band is all here but are waiting to start playing. As with the crowd, we are all just kind of looking at each other while we watch the obviously distraught couple attempting to make amends just prior to their wedding.

I really feel bad for the couple, Alex is being proud and trying to make light of everything to calm her down. She is upset he is not understanding her, claiming his insincerity is not helping and she's kind of laugh crying at his attitude. She tries to get away as he's following her back and forth in front of the room.
It is really hard to watch.

People in the audience start to bicker at each other, making snide comments and generally escalating the situation.
Things are really going downhill now.
Everyone is standing up and multiple people in the audience are in arguments.
Someone makes a comment to the girl with the show obviously trying to throw shade however she seems oblivious to the criticism. I finally interject and say something for the first time.
'I mean, we all have seen your show, so we know who you are, but have YOU seen your show?'
People gasp and everything stops while people standing in a circle are all looking at her and I now.
I continue 'Now don't get me wrong, I like you, and I'm sure many people here do too. But you should really watch your show. Because if you do that then you would actually See Yourself. Like see yourself how we see you, not just how you see you, and that's not a bad thing. It's just the perspective of seeing yourself the way other people do. That's why relationships are so important, it's a way for us to see each other through each other's eyes, and that's beautiful. That's what is so special about Alex and Eve, they see each other, because they love each other, and it's that completely unadulterated vision which bonds people in this way.'
Everyone is silent but smiling,
The couple is quietly hugging behind the circle of people, they are watching and listening with tears in their eyes while smiling and pressing themselves into each other.
'Its important to see who you really are, or at least to find someone who can really see you, so that you can see yourself, and love yourself, so that you can love each other'
The dream fades with a warmth of compassion in the room though it is quiet after my voice.

12/5/20

Some large slave revolt where we all kill our masters/bourgeoisie.
There is a large sword battle at some plantation just after arriving with a large group of tradesmen. It is spanning the outside and indoor docking area. At a certain point I am struggling against an older bald man while holding the bendy blade of a long thin rapier which bends like a fencing sword. Everyone was dressed like revolutionary times though it feels kind of piratey.
There is a family left after everything dies down who are kind of deranged, the father looks like Andy Garcia.
They are making jokes at the end about having an affinity for toes and fingers. The father is almost yelling at the family, but still going along with it in a joking manner.
There is the main master dead or dying pinned to the wall, they exact their revenge in grotesque fashion.
Talking to the daughter about how she likes her french toast afterwards. She mentions wanting to be charged for peanut butter on it but she wants to cook it for herself when the time comes and to let her know.
It feels like I'm at a waffle house now.

I have walked into a neighbor's house down the street for help handling a bunch of things. Including a giant raw turkey on a cutting board. They are mourning the loss of the head of the household who is Dimebag Darrel. The wife is very friendly and she helps me get all of my possessions under control. I leave the turkey outside for a duration of time and when I come back it is missing and someone is complaining that it was just sitting out in the open so they got rid of it. But someone else had donated an even larger turkey so that was very kind. I befriend the daughter in the process who ends up being Aurora. She asks Ben and I to help her perform in front of their church later on. While preparing for the event we realize we don't have any music or lyrics to prepare with. At a certain point I become lucid and tell everyone around me. 'Its ok! I am lucid dreaming right now! It will be fine, we don't need to prepare, I am lucid dreaming it will work out fine when the time comes!' I continue the dream plot to the concert and gather we are doing a sort of 'battle of the bands' style competition. The other duo are doing Christian mumble rap and we are doing a techno-country style. At some point we are dressed up in costumes and have glam makeup on. I have on thick winged eyeliner and a black bob wig. I don't think we ever performed with Aurora but she hung out with us afterwards. She was relieved we did well and she asked me to give her a massage. She sat in a low to the ground gaming L chair. I reached over the shoulders and massaged her shoulders/back for a while. She really enjoyed it but then got self conscious about enjoying it so much. I gather that Ben has left me with all of these people who are kind of like Aurora's posse. No one drives and I am across town not close to my house. I see a Meijer in the distance but it is not the one closest to my house. I decide to start walking back. There are groups of trannies all hanging around outside a dimly lit bowling alley. I gather people think I am a girl.

12/4/20

Joel is showing off Chiang Mai locations. There are fragments of food and countryside businesses as we hop around a map of Thailand. It is borderline cartoonish at times. Too many fragments.

I was dreaming then suddenly walking into a bar/poolhall/game center which happened to be close to my house. I was excited and full of energy to be there. There are fun lights and awesome smells, the place is packed with people. I was moving quickly through the crowd just exploring the entire place. It felt like a new well financed business which had everything entertainment you could imagine. People my age were just hanging out drinking, playing games and the mood was elevated. I begin singing at the top of my lungs like chester with a couple other guys. It sounds good and we rock out while people walk around us just causally listening and bobbing their heads.
At a certain point I find Nathan in there so we hang out some, I want a beer so we go to the bar in the center of the building. I don't remember arriving here so I ask the guy bartending like 3 times if this is really happening because I didn't think any of it was real. He laughs and assures me it's real, telling me I seem to be having a really good time. I felt like it was a dream the majority of the time.

I walk with Nathan down the street to go smoke or something, he is staying at a house which is close by.
It was like 12:50 when we left to go to the other house. When we finish we walk back and it is like 1:15 when we get there. All the lights are off and no one is there but the owners, they are still happy to have us in. They let us in and I am confused. It was so packed and now it is completely empty.
They inform us they do close at 1 due to it being a new business and having so many people in one place at once. It was only the second day they had been open and it was incredibly successful.
We all hang out with the owners for a while.
It is a sweet business. Diner food, arcade games, karaoke, pool hall, and a fancy bar in the center to boot. I ran multiple laps while they were open. Kept finding myself in the upstairs 'employees only' area. The woman owner saw me up there once and didn't seem to mind, just casually pointing out which way I should go.
Hang out with the owners talking about the business for a while, they are really cool and laid back.
While talking I gather there are now two couples or at least another guy and girl with the couple who own the place. The girl owner is sleeping on a cot face down and the new girl who looks like the brunette from Raised by Wolves makes a comment about how her friend always sleeps in super late because she gave her extra NyQuil. While giving me a knowing look. I gather she has killed her quietly somehow and is aiming to take her place. (This is what happened in the show, no spoilers). There is another guy I don't really recognize, he has a shaved head and bright grey eyes, he is in on it as well. I don't understand why any of this is happening so I just quietly excuse myself. In talking to them as I am leaving I must have filled out an application to work there as it is on the counter of the bar. I consider taking it with me so I am not connected to this thing which is obviously about to blow up. But decide that may look suspicious so I leave it where it was.

It's the next day and I am walking back again, I end up in a large complex which is a public space built to be a hangout spot. It is a large indoor dome structure with a water feature on top of a pile of boulders in the center. It is well landscaped and looks ritzy and well lit. Perfectly manicured little odd shapes of grass and perfectly fitted red brick paths all leading around the area. With concrete circular tables and benches scattered about.
I walk around and find a food court area with music coming from it. It is decorated like a 30's style speakeasy, brass rails, wooden carved accents, large tan fans, black and white tiles, the works. Just past a Starbucks there is a stage with a guy and a girl playing instruments singing. I feel like I've heard the song before, it sounds like some kind of folk music, they look like people from my old church. This whole thing has a very Sunday afternoon vibe. There is a large crowd of teenagers sitting in the audience watching. Only half paying attention because, you know, teenagers. I try to walk around the back of the crowd to get out the side door but there is just a mass of people mostly girls all sitting asses to elbows blocking the walking path with their stools and tables.
I walk around and in front of everyone to leave the building.

Walking back down the strip mall it is the next morning and I am super tired. I realize I have been barefoot and look for a pair of my shoes in the mass of pairs of shoes that have been left in front of the poolhall. I find several pairs that look like mine but none of them fit. Before laying down the 'other' guy shows up out front. He has a concerned look on his face but he attempts to make smalltalk with me. He mentions working for a launch provider which is close to here and they have a couple satellites to launch in the next few days. I am not really interested and don't want to talk to him much longer. I have a bed/my big winter sleeping bag rolled out and I try to get some sleep on the sidewalk while people are walking/driving by. While falling asleep I see a group of three cops standing on the sidewalk down the way from me. I pretend not to notice them and begin to fall asleep in the dream.

I wake up to a sort of middle aged hispanic woman getting my attention standing over me, I immediately tell her I was about to scuttle off, I am still fairly drowsy. But I notice she is a police officer, she asks if I am 'No-ha' I say yes and shake her hand from laying down. I ask her name and she says 'In-ki-ya' her friends call her. I already know exactly what all of this is about. But I play dumb and look around to notice there are now 6 or 7 police cruisers of various designs on the street now. I say 'Whooa, what's this all about?? I see a lot of cop cars, and one really messed up car' then I notice another car/van which looks like it has been completely stripped for parts, no doors or wheels or anything sitting in front of the shopping mall, (I have been sleeping in front of the pool hall where it all went down apparently).
I put on my best clueless face/attitude not wanting to get involved. I gather she's not buying it and already suspicious of me.

I am traveling to Doug's house with G, we've never visited him before so we're very excited. When we get there he is overwhelmed to see us. We are all hanging out around him in his living room. We're all nude and his hair is longer and comes down over his eyes. It's casual and I gather we're all kind of passively watching a ritual taking place in the corner of the room. It opens up into a rocky cave and in the distance I can see a burning monument of sorts. It kind of looks like a mini greek colosseum with life-sized figurines all holding hands around the border, like the Indian Circle of Friends sculpture. The flames are yellow and white but not consuming the structure. I understand what we are witnessing is very important and thousands of years old. Doug is talking about people he knows who have trouble understanding their own reality. I make a remark about 'how many people get to see a 5,000 year old ritual, in a cave, while nude?' it is comforting and reassuring to watch.
We are now in an oversized tub, almost like a hot tub mixed with an overly large Victorian footed porcelain tub. We're all sitting around the edges. There is a squid like octopus swimming around. Everytime it touches me it latches onto my hand, the suckers kind of hurt and it doesn't want to let go.

12/3/20

I am with a group of people who all feel like outcasts of some kind. Marc Ruffalo is with us and at one point he throws a bus as hulk with us on it for rapid transportation. We are a sort of mutant club with all varying abilities. I can shoot web from my wrists like Spidey but I don't believe I have any of the other abilities. There is a part where the goblin is attacking me and I keep shooting web at his face. Only the web is thin and spindly like a normal spiders web and not doing anything besides making him webby, not like thick Spidey web. Goblin is somewhat inconvenienced but not overly upset with me.

I am at a general country store and notice they have fireworks for super cheap. Like 1¢ bottle rockets and 5¢ firecrackers. I want to buy some but don't have any money. It's such a great deal.

I am watching a movie with some mother, I think it is someone I used to work with. Her
son gets home, he bought a pack of fireworks.
When he hands them to me I notice they are burning like an ember. Out of caution for them not exploding I douse them with water. While by the sink I accidentally turn on a burner on low and burn up a towel that was sitting on the oven. It smokes up the house but no one noticed until just the corners were remaining. There is a plasticy synthetic smell in the air.
The father of the family gets home, he doesn't know I am there and sees me before his family and isn't very happy to see me. He offers to drive me home, I am grateful. While driving the mood was somewhat tense and I noticed we get off on the wrong exit driving towards the city rather than my neighborhood.

Wartime we are being shot at. I am with friends and we have a goal to accomplish by setting certain checkpoints. They are small white buttons on the battlefield that we need to active one at a time. The last one my friend gets shot up pretty bad he can't move very well and I am tearing apart some raw chicken over the button but cannot set the checkpoint. A guy is standing maybe ten feet away shooting at us. I have no more bullets so I pull out a chef's knife and yell like a crazy person while charging at him. He gives up before I get to him and throws his gun away. We set the checkpoint and the war is over. I bump fists with the guy who gave up as a sign of good faith. My friend is fine. My arms are shot up and really sore but everyone lives.

I am in an older elementary school after-hours. There is some sort of biden campaign event going on that I am not totally connected to, I don't see anyone involved but know it's happening.
When helping clear up one of the classrooms I go into a small supply closet
My parents are in there as well as other workers. My coworkers from the spa I used to work at come in all in the same uniform.
I say hey old fam but none of them recognize me or acknowledge me really, I am wearing blue jeans.
My old boss who I had a falling out with walks in she has a mask on and a sideways red painters hat. I am wearing a mask and realize we are all in too close of quarters. She starts talking to my father and I excuse myself out of the small room.
I accidentally knock her knee with my backpack when walking around her, she rubs it like I hurt her and I leave the room without her recognizing me.
I had fallen asleep in another room and was very drowsy when collecting my things, and I kept picking up other people's things. There are three hispanic black girls who are my friends in the room. I keep trying to leave but keep going back into the room because I seem to think I forgot something.
I remember where my phone was, only when I pick it up it is purple and has a girl's name on it. It is the same as my phone but looks like someone else's. I am confused. When looking for it the girls are gathered around helping me they are confused too. Then I notice my phone outline in my jean pocket. I don't tell them and put the phone back in its place telling them not to worry about it. I am sure I will find my phone somewhere.
I am very drowsy and nothing is making sense. I go to leave again and the older woman teacher tells me to give my jacket back to the other girl. I am confused but then realize she had given me the tight fitting jacket to wear because I was cold. I apologise again and take it off to give back to her. I also have a backpack on I am not sure is mine. Severe imposter syndrome combined with heavy 'i just woke up' drowsiness. They all like me, like they look up to me but I am acting like an idiot. One of them thinks I live in texas. I tell them where I'm from is not far from here. I spend a while looking for my car in the parking lot though I know I rode here with my parents.
At a certain point I am chasing my cat through the hallways, only it's dark and I don't think it's my cat once I catch it.

2nd December 2020

Fragment:

Our street, mixed with a street back in L. Sunny. The L-side had shade from taller buildings. It was generally busy. Dad's mother was there under such a shade and looking at some kind of wall graffiti; I come to her and she sees me and looks surprised to see me, but she seems a bit lost or confused and I try to guide her somehow. I remember having some low level concern that people might think I'm not related at all and that I'm just trying to take advantage of her.

Earlier in the dream, there was a gang of three hooligans or whatever coming up from down the end of our street but then I remember feeling/realising that they were likely just passing through.

3rd December 2020

Dream, fragmented:

An early bit of the dream with an overview/interactive "map" of Wales and England; this so-called map was made of dirt and leaves, which I'm walking on.

3D-like but nonetheless real, leaves were swirling around some locality markers in the West Midlands and near a central point in Wales. It looks like a tornado of leaves is persistently swirling around each one and they seem to overlap in their motions, creating some literal border friction in this sense. I talk with H. I ask in almost rhetoric manner why this can't be sorted out. It looks entirely simple from my point of view, I think.

I use a stick, or something like and try to mark or uncover a border marker for where the Welsh/English border should actually be (as far as I know/can work out) and I manage to get the Welsh leaf tornado to be "sensible" and stick within its remit but the West Midlands tornado refuses to comply and be contained in any sense.

The tornados seemed to represent local governmental authorities responsibilities for picking up recycling and other such waste.

I remember just nearby there's a large tree with bulgy and bulky roots; relative to the map, it's situated just at the very North-most point of the border between Wales and England.

Eventually, the dream moves on or I lose interest and I start looking at some junk nearby. The front of a diesel or electric train? Not sure, but then we were able to enter it from the side or something, and it's a really old house. It's dark and the daylight from outside has that cloudy day/blue tinge that I find characterises days with that weather. I think I'm still with H or another character. I have some special and unique item I traded earlier? I vaguely recall a chiselled stone, lapis lazuli, with a golden ring around some part of it; it has an oblong/obeliskish shape. (I begin to recall a much earlier bit?)

I'm at an apartment. It's a single room and it's no bigger than my old room. There's a girl here, I have the impression I'm a girl too but I don't check in any way. This girl has a pony tail and a sharp face, she looks about 20 or so. I need something from her but she's unwilling to trade; I can't recall any of the dialogue.

Eventually she walks up to the window and I kick her out; she falls several stories and I take the item somehow (was it in the flat?) and this item is one of nine or something which I need for my quest. In the flat, I notice she had some kind of modern CRT TV. For some reason, I give the screen a knock with my right hand knuckles and it resonates slightly.

I am now downstairs immediately outside the apartment building. There's a crowd and police. I'm on the phone or something and this person I'm working with tells me to remain calm and that they've taken care of everything (male voice?). A big white man is out here and he distracts the crowd, shouting and announcing that he did it, he'd killed this girl. He has medium-length hair curls of a fair colour.

I go through and past the crowd and there's some advanced cyber police of sorts. They have egg shaped hover drones, no bigger than a fist, and red scanners. They are doing forensic scans of everyone leaving the area and internally I feel concerned but I keep going and stop when asked to; they find nothing in their scan, to my relief. I continue through a street with tall buildings, it's night time, I feel? Deus Ex (classic) feel to the area here. I look at my phone and read debates about cannibalism, for some reason. One state in the USA had apparently had it as something legal for a very very long time (hundreds of years). I hear people nearby but don't look or pay attention to them.

I reach a small building. It is modern but dilapidated; all the glass is missing or broken. It's dark outside and the odd part is I recall no sky at all. I go inside this building and go up a semi-spiralling staircase. It's brighter in the top floor. There's a curtain or something. (This dream memory starts to get mixed with the other one)

I have traded all the unique and special items at some point, I don't recall with whom. Now, I have a dulled copper-y looking signet ring; I hold it in my palm and I also have a small bag made from untreated leather, of a tan colour. I open the bag and from inside I take out a live miniature Japanese racoon or something, which fits on my palm. It doesn't move much, but I hold it up to a white and bright fluffy ceiling; it yelps and sniffs as I move it around the room; I intuitively understand it's detecting something, to allow me passage from this otherwise dead-end octagonal room.

Then, behind the curtain is a door. i can open it because of the signet ring, I think. I try to close it behind me as I hear voices nearing and think I shouldn't let them follow me.

(the recall becomes too mixed)

All else I remember is a view of some train with people I know being inside it, laser rifles shooting from inside and outside the train, at each other, as the train passes through a platform. It's night-time. I have vague recall of being somewhere, waiting, and some of my aunts and my mom are there; they are complaining between themselves for some reason and I remember something about a Nazi man visiting and demanding something.

12/2/20

Elon is giving some kind of presentation. I am in the audience. I win a contest allowing me to play the guitar to accompany his band. When they play I still sit in the audience but my guitar is wired into the sound system. It sounds really good and I play better than I have ever played before. There are lead plucking parts and van Halen style taping at one point. The crowd enjoys the show and I can tell Elon was pleasantly surprised at my performance as well. We talk after the show while walking out onto a runway and to his car. His entourage is behind him and we walk side by side. I am starstruck but maintain my composure. I make a joke he likes about how people usually treat him when they meet him "omg I know right! That's totally true, like seriously people!" he responds laughing. We arrive at his car and he says we should totally do this again sometime soon. I assume he is just being nice. But later in the dream I am at another function sitting at a roundtable with some friends and Elon asks me to play along with them again. He is on stage rocking his heart out, he is obviously showing off playing a large drum and the band is just generally jamming. I start playing my guitar along with them only at some point it becomes a bass guitar in my hands. I can't play the bass as well IRL, but in the dream it sounds really good, I remember some of the chord progressions and the accompanyment meshes really well. The crowd enjoys the jam, Elon is in full performer mode sweating up a storm. At a certain point I think he has his shirt off wearing black wrist cuffs and a black headband. My friends around the table are flabbergasted that I am playing with the band from the audience. This time I scoot my chair over in front of the sound guys table who has some lights on his table projecting onto the stage. I sit in front of the light and my silhouette is outlined on the stage. The song goes really well and people clap at the end. I don't get to conversate with him after this time. But I still brag to my friends that I got to hang out with Elon in person 2 times in one week. I am still beside myself.

There is another performance this time I don't know who is on stage but I have an oversized midi controller in the shape of a larger misformed original grey nintendo gameboy. It has several lines on it with options on each line like a mad lib. But when I press them they play different sampled sounds that are all in the same key. It is hard to describe but I am pretty much head banging mashing buttons and it sounds like trip hop techno. I see an old friend from highschool and he throws me the rock on horns while smiling devilishly. He asks about the controller after the performance and I attempt to explain it. People around me are generally impressed at the show. I played from the audience again but only the people around me knew I was coming through the speakers.

Vr headset playing in a room. Don't recognize the game but it is somewhat surreal. My cat comes and lays down next to me while I am playing and the game sees her and puts her in the game as a dog with a cat's face. I walk into a table in the room I am in while walking around in vr. (I've never tried vr irl)

I am looking for G and gather she is at some trump fundraiser, or has been kidnapped to go there or something. I drive my car to a rich neighborhood that I think the place is at and for some reason I keep looking for the place called "Goat Barn" I am unsure if it's a street or location. I park my car and begin walking around the neighborhood. It is very cold and snowy out. I wonder why I got out to walk as none of the street names match what I am looking for. I have a flyer in my hand that is for the fundraiser in typical propaganda style but there is no address on the flyer. I try googling Goat Barn on my phone but come up with nothing. I am standing in front of one of the large houses and for some reason I pull their mailbox off the post. No one is home but I am still cautious someone might have seen me mess up the mailbox. I start to walk away and see the person pull into their driveway. I cut through some yards and smaller walkways between houses to get to the other side of the neighborhood. The Goat Barn is no where to be seen.