non-lucid

Yet another dream where I seen to be stuck in my childhood, even in my childhood home. I still can't understand why I don't have dreams about the beautiful new condo I just moved into.

Dad enrolls my younger sister in an after-school program and wants me to take her there. I drive there ahead of time to scope it out, and it turns out to be a day care for kids too young for kindergarten! (For context, my "baby" sister turns 40 this year.) I go home… to my childhood home, that is, and try to explain to Dad why this nursery school is all wrong. I'm standing in the garage, looking out at a snow-covered driveway. I walk out to the driveway and there's a car parked there, but it's not my car. I look back into the two-car garage, where my car appears to be wedged between another car and the garage wall at a 45˚ angle. It can't be car, can it? It's not driveable at the angle. Maybe I left the car at the nursery school. I try to get someone to take me there to look for the car.

I'm in some sort of training centre. I play some racket sport that is similar to tennis and squash. Every time I try to hit the ball I'm worthless. I have almost no power and no accuracy. I played against Gabriel but I go to the bench instead. Albin and André is there. New fragment. I'm in a car with Gabriel. My sister is there and she talks about some kind of roleplaying game and I wish that I could have a better guide. We drop Gabriel off but notice that he forgot his phone in the car. I take it up and inspect it. It is white and the front screen is in good shape and clean. The back is really dirty and worn out. The phone is half touch and half buttons. When I click on the button in the top right corner the password is shown. My sister gasps out loud because she is disappointed in Gabriel's security. New fragment. I'm in our inner yard and about to walk in. I feel a bit off and wonder if it is a dream. I do my RC but it doesn't work at first. I think about how I came here and figure out that I don't remember how I ended up here. I try to lift off and fly away but I can't. I try to climb the big door to the outside but do not succeed at first. I am able to climb it the third time. I am about to jump in order to fly away but the door falls apart and I fall to the ground before lift off. I start to walk to the left and see some people. I see Sweden's king Carl XVI Gustaf walking past a corner. I get a bad feeling and walk a bit faster. I see Ed and he is avoiding me. The king is getting close up on me and I am getting more scared. I start to run and I am able to fly away this time. It's not pleasant since I am flying for my life. Ed comes back to me and I feel his bad intentions. He tells me to follow him. We are closing up on our destination and I hear someone scream. I think that It is a copy of myself that is screaming. When I finally see the scene I'm terrified and start to scream and cry. I see myself holding in a blood covered saw against a copy of a defenseless Ed kneeling down in front of the copy of me and holding his arms against the copy of me, trying to protect himself.

I’m in a green hilly area dotted with groves of trees, alongside a group of people. It seems like we’re all traveling somewhere together and have been in this general area for several days.

Nearby is an enormous skeleton horse with leathery wings. I think it’s cute and have been making friends with it. (My waking-life sense of what is cute is pretty broad by most people’s standards, and it seems to be even broader in dreams.) The horse is really enormous: it has its head down at my level, and it would probably be big enough to inhale me if it breathed (which seems unlikely to happen).

Now it wants to give me a ride: it lies down, leaning to one side so I can get on. I seat myself in the ridge between two of its vertebrae. This part of it, like the wings but unlike the head and neck, is still covered in skin, which is dry and stiff, rather like a drum skin in feel and color. It takes off, and we fly around the area for a little while.

When it lands again and lets me down, I rejoin the group, which has been occupied with something else up until now. Before long, though, as we leave the area on the next phase of the journey, I take to the air again, on my own this time. I have one eye on the rest of the group and the other on the road ahead as they walk towards a pass through taller hills.

28.12.20 [I’ve been meaning to post this for a while….]

Jamie

Another fraction of a fragment. It was a memory dream, very rarely get them. It has something to do with Jamie, Felt we were both dreaming it.

Bitch 1

Just a dream of being at work and some girl I know from work who rarely ever talks to me was getting mad at me for stupid reasons and complaining about me.

Bitch 2

2 Days later similar dream. I'm in the break room but the layout is different. The girl is sitting at a table. She mentions my name. And starts complaining about my work again. I notice she isn't looking at me directly indicating guilt, like she's deliberately trying to be mean, for the hell of it. I say, "first off, look at me directly if you ar going to accuse me of such thing..." I forget the rest of the rant but I was getting pretty angry. She got pissed up and left the table and was leaving the room at how Angry I was. I was like, hell no, you gotta problem were going to discuss this with a manager right now blah blah blah.

Jamie 2.

It was in calgary and I ran into jamie, but she was hanging around my brother (really, Thought that was 2018 ish dreams). But she wouldn't talk to me. So i took off and went to visit my mother. I was on the c train and got off on a nearby stop. My brother pulled up in a truck and she was trying to get me to go with him.

Good jamie dreams 1 week, Bad jamie dreams the next. Same pattern for 2 years or more now. What else is new? And to what end?

I'm in a dark place and a skeleton with a scythe comes in. He starts to run after me and stabs me.

I'm in the air with a parachute and I'm about to land in the water. There are a bunch of jellyfish that sting me as I go in the water.

15th January 2021

Dream:

I am delivering a Borderlands mission. The UI is like BL1 but I'm not actually in one of the games from the series. I can choose between two legendary rewards. One is a sniper and the other a grenade launcher. I check for some kind of extra stats which are supposed to appear in blue; the grenade launchers' tooltip is greatly expanded and there's something about it having a unique ability which allows summoning one of five vehicles of choice.

I'm what looks like either a warehouse district or an airbase/military base. Mom and dad are here and some other people I don't recall, too. H is nearby?

Anyway, I decide to summon one of the vehicles. It's a very Metal Slug-esque tank and it has a somewhat shiny panelling, either red or grey.

Skipping ahead a bit. In an abandoned, disused or ruined area. I go through some dark tunnel and fighting stuff happens. Then an interaction with some character makes me reveal that it had been some kind of theme park, long ago (I surprise myself?).

There is what looks like giant heads of an extremely realistic-looking horse and a canid of some sort. Their mouths or lips move about, but as if swaying with no control. I think about it a little bit and conclude it's the wind. We are near the coast. It's sunny but sunset-like and looks like a scene off DSII; the lips of the animal heads look ripped, like they're made of leather or some kind of heavy duty material chosen to be close enough to real textures.

I think some part of me thinks about drawing.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At mom's, in my old bedroom, grandpa is laying there on the bed. Zilla and Licas are visiting. It rains outside and starts pouring water inside the room. But it is not the rain, I find a burst out pipe on the ceiling. I fix it after some struggle and lots of buckets of water. Zilla is chilling on another bed and the scenario shifts into a beach. We are now sunbathing on the beach and she goes nudist. Dares me to also go naked, to which I object. Insists on seeing my nether parts, claiming she learnt something important she wants to show me. But I say absolutely no.
Out of nowhere comes a robot with evil black eyes that starts talking to us. Zilla reacts pretty normally, but I am very surprised. Then more are coming. It is a whole family of talking robots. Silvery, shiny, big squarish heads with big black eyes and demonic mouths with sharp teeth. They have a black robotic gorilla which seems to be their mascot, but even bigger than they are. They stay on the beach for a while by our side and then get up and leave. People on the streets are scared to see then and run in all directions.
We go to a nearby restaurant with several floors and we join a party on their basement. It is dark and music is playing and the robots join us again. People no longer panic, they are just curious now. I get closer to take pics of them, but my cell phone gets lots of interference and I fail. I remember this trouble photographing objects happened to me before and it was around holograms. That's when I realize they are holograms. Someone with high tech machinery is projecting the robots with some artistic / sociological objective. I confess I am disappointed but relieved, as they looked creepy as hell.
I get separated from Zilla. While I go look for her, I find the toilet and see myself in the mirror. My hair is short, white and fluffy, with some rust-like orange color at the ends.

I and some friends are some kind of slaves. We live in a big barn and we sleep in the attic-like upper floor. Our guards control us by locking us in up there. But I often get out through the roof and manage to jump to other nearby roofs of other buildings, with access to the street. I just don't go too far, because I don't want to leave my friends behind. But I was able to come up with a plan for a few of us to escape and get some weapons and come back to free the others. Strangely enough, I know how the plan will work out, because I already lived it and recall how it went. But our oppressors seem to also know what we plan and put a dozen armed guards on the roof to stop us from escaping. I feel despair, because I can taste the freedom I knew we already had and now the whole plan is in jeopardy, as if they also knew the future and altered it. But I have another plan. There are other windows that don't give access to the roof so easily but give direct access to the ground 30 mts below and I have rappelled that height before (in RL actually), so I feel confident about it. if we are fast, 2 or 3 of us could slide down before the guards even react. They have armors and big guns and can't move fast enough from their position in the roof. We start collecting rope everyday whenever we find some. We will have to tie it with knots but we hope it works.

Superman's mom lives in a fancy Park Avenue apartment and is hosting a bunch of girls, including me, for an overnight stay. It has something to do with the scouts and it's required. I don't mind, because the old lady gives out used bits of designer clothing if you impress her. Apparently she gave me a sweatshirt last year. This time, I manage to impress her by demonstrating how to put together baby bottles with drop-in liners. My coworker Angie is sitting next to me and she's grumbling that "this is b---s--- that I have to spend time away from my kids" as Superman's mom is talking. I'm only half-listening to Angie because Superman lives with 4 different women and has kids with each, and I want gossip. I do have a vague sense of disappointment that we're talking DC characters and not Marvel.

Massive missed opportunity for the Task of the Year if Superman's mom is handing out clothing!

I'm with dad William and John and we are playing some kind of golf but with bigger iron balls. Dad is giving William some piece of advice about not shooting too hard. William is really good and gets it just right. It's John's turn and he ruins William's ball and shoots it away with his own ball even though they are on the same team. John is sorry but William says it's okay. John accidentally shoots William's ball away again.

Me and dad are driving a car with some problems.

14th January 2021

Fragment:

Something about being at a family gathering of some sort. The house is a mix of my old home and my aunt B's house.

My siblings are here but I don't recall the room we're in. We play some kind of reality-blended game in which I am looking for gold to be found under floor tiles. I remember we discuss some game statistics. I cut up some tile and beneath I find copper pipe for water and am slightly disappointed and relieved I didn't cut through it.

In the kitchen, which looks like the oldest version of the one from the old home, I see some kind of little poster or card about mood and being sorry from my aunt.

Vague recall of using one of those rounded metal body box cutters.

The atmosphere was like the blinds were all rolled down but allowing light through. There was a warm look of light that I haven't seen for some time now.

13th January 2021

Initial recall had been decent but I didn't take any notes and I was too focused on other things in the morning.

Fragment:

Playing some kind of game; blended with reality. I'm in an area with crops, I can't remember how far along they are but it's a sunny day. I have some recall of my sibling T being nearby; does an in-game emote and then sits down under a tree's shade. Had a generic farmer look. Part of the behaviour was blended with what I might expect from H.

Something about going up some stairs before that, a much darker place. It was also a game-like reality and something about it now just makes me think of L4D or KF.

I'm on an airplane and looking out the window. The wing of the airplane is burning and some people are panicking. I'm very calm and awaiting my death. I'm following some cops and walking to a big room. There is some betrayal and I am a part of the bad guys that are planning to make an airplane heist. The boss of the bad guy comes and the good persons die. My boss shoots me and I feel a sting in my head. The past me that got shot was just a clone and I now enter a new clone's body. I follow the boss and I'm half brain dead. The boss is in the bathroom with me and the cops are about to rush us. My boss is starting to dislocate his joints so that he can be flushed down the toilet to escape. I'm looking at him as he shrinks. He's now in the toilet and he's being transformed into some kind of green thick liquid. The cops rush in. There is some love drama between me and a girl too.

Notes: I saw a movie clip some days ago where a man dislocates his joints in order to fit a small box.

I'm walking at the backside of our house with mom and she is anxious about how people are looking at her. She starts to complain.

I am outside this large estate. It's owned by this man who looks like Sherlock Holmes and a large group of servants, friends and family members. I have trespassed on his property or owe him some kind of debt and the only way that I can repay it is to hunt and kill the bear that lives on his property. The property he lives on is very expansive and very detailed for a dreamworld, consisting of rolling open fields and dense clusters of trees with the occasional pond or river running through. Gravel trails and roads cut around his property and his wealthy friends and family ride around on little cars like golf carts.

Regardless my only weapon in the hunt for the bear is a stack of cheese slices. I tried eating some of them but they didn't have any flavor but they were supposed to be my weapon. So I tried very carefully breaking them into the shape of throwing stars instead. I heard something rustling a nearby bush and watched as a large form rushing behind another bush. I started to back away but the "bear" came out. This is the only sequence of the dream that I remember clearly.

It turns out the bear was actually this mike tyson looking fellow with an abnormally large and muscular body and small (average sized) head who was about 8-9 feet tall, and was wearing studded armbands and a fur kilt like a barbarian. It didn't seem to be a play on "bear" as a body type as he had hairless washboard abs and a lot of rather lean muscle. He begins charging me. I throw my cheese slice thorwing stars and they are about as comically ineffective as it would be in real life.

When he gets close he assumes a boxing stance and throws a punch. I pull back. He throws another, and I block it. He's strong but he doesn't have that terrifying strength where simply blocking with my arm breaks it or even hurts that much. But I still want to be careful. He swings at me again and I pull back a ways then start charging him, jump in the air and try to kick him in the face and he ducks out of the way. I pass over him and pull back, primed to kick again. I throw a feint and then an actual kick, connecting to the side of his body which stuns him. He cries uncle and I relent.

The guy then explains to me that he's been trapped on this guy's property and been forced to hunt down people he doesn't like for his amusement. I argue that together we should be able to storm his mansion and bring him to justice, but he doesn't seem interested in revenge. Instead he shifts the conversation to be about his feelings and in turn the mike tyson character turned out to be this big softie.

-+-

Something to do with being in Toronto and there was a green Sharknado with mutant sharks inside of it and lightning. I was at least semi lucid and making note of how detailed the destruction caused by the tornado in the dream was.

-+-

Something to do with being in Florida with my father and some other assorted family members vacationing.

-+-

I got lucid and started flying through space at massively FTL speeds, arriving in a binary star system and landing on the moon of a gas giant where I meet Marcus. The planet has purple skies and lakes and large rock towers and mesas scattered about. The vegetation comprised of tall palm trees with paddle like leaves and small grass with nodules on the end. The plants all have jet black leaves with an odd oily sheen to them when viewed from certain angles can look like a dark bluish green or reddish purple.

An alien lifeform approaches me. Its body is slightly larger than a human head, and looks something like an exposed brain but made of a hard material like bone. It has 3 compound eyes in an inverted triangle and two long limbs with hands hanging below its body, and two shorter limbs which also have hands. On the sides of its body are dark purple fleshy organs, two to each side and an organ that beats very rapidly like a heart. There is a bioluminescent patterning across its body which is very visible in the dim light of the forest.

Marcus is there, in his robotic form, and explains that these are member of an alien race that we would call the Ta'grool. He goes on to explain that they have the levels of intelligence and societal development of early humans. The organ on the side stops beating so rapidly and the creature lands, using its longer set of limbs to stand.

Marcus goes on to explain that on this planet, many creatures have evolved an organ which functions as a lung, heart, and thruster system, and that is how these aliens are able to fly. (He gave this organ a name but I don't remember it). He explained how rings of muscle create a pumping action that forces air through the organ fast enough to create some measure of thrust. Enough that a lighter creature can hover for a short time. Since the organ also functions as their heart and lung it feeds oxygen through rapidly to sustain this intensive activity, and the oxygen doesn't have to travel far to get to the muscles which do the pumping.

I asked him why he was introducing me to this alien. He returns simply by responding how life is fascinating to him.

Washroom

Waled into a wal mart with a mcdonald's and tried to use the restroom. I was led to a long corridoor where all the storage is. I went into an area that was supposed to be a washroom. A girl I know from work A was there She wasn't doing anything and I kept asking her to leave. She wouldn't leave and had some strange excuse. I kept erguing with her to get her to leave but i woke up.

Jamie

Another flash of a dream fragment where we were.. You know. She was on top.

Flower

The dream was too long and complicated to remember. I just remember being outside with a girl at night time. I seemed to know her. Part of the game we were in involved a giant flower which sprung way up. Kind of like the size of plants you see in "honey I shrunk the kids." I began climbing the stalk of the flower. I was really hard to climb and i felt tired all the time. I eventually reached very close to the top and decided it was enough and then slid down it like it was a fireman's pole.

11th January 2021

Dream:

At a school. For whatever reason, it has headstones on its gardens like a church yard would. I'm in a classroom initially, banal stuff happens. Not sure what the class/lecture is. Feels like school from when I was between age 10-15.

Eventually, a second teacher comes in. A black woman, she smiles a lot and seems friendly. She sits next to me on my left at my desk. I notice she has extremely short hair, not unlike my own haircut in waking life right now but her hair is curly. Her skin tone itself is very dark but not the darkest I've ever seen.

She smiles and we talk about some forms I was supposed to have filled. It was some kind of evaluation or assessment, I remember doing bits of it beforehand. There's this page with a table layout and she asks if we should go from there. She's sort of... half on a phone line with someone at the same time? That other person can hear our conversation but I don't remember hearing them.

At some point, I notice we're outside, still sitting at the same desk. As we're going through the page, because of the way she explains some things, it becomes obvious to me that what little I'd done was not fully correct and my assumptions about the column headers were erroneous.

I have some vague recall that it was an assessment about my physical symptoms.

It's kind of a perfect day; sunny outside with a very light amount of distant clouds. I feel or notice the tufty grass under where we're sitting.

She gets another call, or someone comes? and tells her that she's going to be suspended from work. Apparently, she forgot (and I didn't know) that we were violating the rights of the dead, by blocking the space between them and the sky. She's not phased by this and smiles politely but genuinely. This other party berates me and tells me I'll be failing this class. I feel sad and start sobbing.

The black lady leads and accompanies me into one of the school halls. Dark and unlit, except for a reflecting glow from outside.

I ask her, in my native language and in anger and crying, "why is there such a stupid rule?". I feel frustrated and say whatever else comes to mind, and I say "it's a pointless rule!" as I walk toward a window. From a first-floor (we were on a ground floor a moment ago but I didn't notice this) window I see the tightly packed headstones and ask "why the hell does a school even have graves on its grounds?!" and I think I walk back to her and we walk together a little bit.

She's about to say something and I try to stop sobbing and I say "I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault" and I feel that the suspension she's getting is completely unfair. She smiles again and tells me something, also talking about her suspension though before she can manage to comfort me I feel myself running away, still angry and confused at everything that had just happened.

I'm not on the school grounds anymore and I'm running angrily and aimlessly through a city street wide enough for six cars. Three buses following behind each other are coming my way, slowly, but I make no effort to avoid them at first. I think about how I could die crushed by one and nobody would care, but before I get too close, I preserve myself and avoid getting trapped or run over but in a blind anger I swing my arms at them, trying to hit the back plating. I continue running down the street in my emotional state with some awareness of people around looking at me a little.

The street slopes downwards and is in the shade of a large and tall building to the left. As the street continues down it has an edge and beyond that in the distance I see the rest of this massive city lit by sunlight, on a sort of cylindrical slope or half-tube. It's an amazing cityscape but I don't even make an effort to appreciate this during the dream.

(later, or after waking up and falling asleep again while thinking about how I would like to be lucid and would like to anger an Olympian god)

I'm in a dark house. There's a door leading to a basement with vehicles and I want to take a bomber jet. Mom is in this first room and tells me that dad took something out for a ride but as I approach the door he comes through it and lets me know that I can't use what I was wanting to, just right now. I seemingly don't care too much and go through anyway and get on a "mini" battleship, no bigger than a small van.

I take it out and immediately I'm in some kind of combat adventure. There are bad guy lackeys trying to shoot at me but they do so in vain and even though "miniature" this battleship moves a ton of water; I'm going down some kind of tropical river. Going down some rapids I think about taking out some more distant targets and then I open a realistic-view interactive map of a nearby area and decide I want to teleport there, trying to pick a precise spot and imagining the best spot to make the battleship drop on to displace a lot of water when it reappears and falls in. But when I actually do teleport, I'm not in the battleship anymore.

I'm now some kind of gorilla; some remnant of the anger from the earlier dream returns, in some way. I go down an area full of people and cars and I attack them but only in passing; I seem to be focusing on simple continuing along and just damaging whatever's within reach along the way. At one point near the end, a panicked man in his car pointlessly tries to run me over. I'm about the same size as the car but easily avoid it and then proceed to chase after him for a while before I lose interest and continue my aimless rampage. This bit takes place near a fast food car park.

---

Notes:

- This dream was completely non-lucid and at no points did my awareness really raise any higher; there were no pre-lucid thoughts or feelings. It was very vivid overall and all emotions were quite intense, but none of the intensity carried over on waking.

- I took an extra supplement before bed last night.

- That woman was such a nice person and after writing my initial notes for the dream it really reminded me of how lucky I was through school at times, having had figures like her present not just once but many times.