non-lucid

Close call with ghost leviathan area
I am at the mountain island in Subnautica, and for some reason falling down into the water at the side like a rock. I am a bit scared of the reaper, but then I notice a hole, which I go in, but I notice the water color suddenly gets really dark and I am afraid a ghost leviathan might spawn so I quickly retreat.

Command and Conquer with Angela Merkel
I am on a sort of flat, circular island which is in its entirety surrounded by very spiky and cartoon-ish mountains, which also nearly split the island save for a ~10 meter gap. There is apparently a battle. It also seems to be a recurring dream, where last time there was an intense battle with mammoth tanks and artillery walkers, now it is that in my fraction the leader is Angela Merkel and apparently this time, after a short battle, for some reason they apparently realize they need to nuke each other, and so they do.

---

Yeah, idk what that second dream was.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


Had some lucid moment in front of a mirror, but then lose it. I hate my clothes and look, so I make magically appear a gorgeous princess dress and then get horny with myself. I pull the dress up and expose my nether regions in the mirror and summon some dildos to play with. Some dog big hairy appears and gets on top of me and humps me. And the weird thing is I let him for a while until I realize this is kinda sick and I want it to stop. So I become lucid again and break it. I get up, go out and see some scenario I think I had dreamed of before at least twice.
There is a big group of people outside, then on a black horse comes some lady like a Queen, of whom people are afraid of. I remember from having this dream before, that she'll boss me around and I am not in the mood. So I freeze everyone and everything around, like even the birds in the sky. Some people resist a little bit my order to freeze, so I yell to them that I am in charge. When everything is totally still, I admire the details, I focus on the shapes of the clouds and then I see the International Space Station falling from the sky and smashing against a building. I go check it out up close. There is some kind of engine burning fuel and I climb on top of it, almost get burned by the flames, but make some joke about it, as I know it can't possibly hurt me.
Then I see a door behind this burning engine and I go in. Looks like an entrance to a theater, and once I get inside I am followed by Darth Vader, who stands there at the entrance, looking menacing. I run from him down a corridor that gets tighter and tighter until it becomes a tunnel and then the tunnel starts descending until it is a sliding pipe. It gets tighter and tighter, until I feel stuck and unable to get out. Plus the walls are covered in chocolate. (Looks more like I'm stuck in a sphincter ). I start digging around to remove chocolate layers from the walls until I slide down and find myself out of it. Once outside, I am in a strange locker room and hear someone discussing how they'll clean us up and then will chose 2 or 3 girls. I don't like the tone of the conversation, and try to escape through a door, but end up cornered in a room with a balcony where some guys are assessing girls like they are meat.

There is a fire in Á-dos-Loucos and firetrucks are going up the road in a long line. Then behind my mom's building, the gates of all the houses also start burning. It is clearly arson, but now all the firefighters went up the hill for the other fire, so no one can put these fires down.

Checking in at some place, like a college and then hostel. The procedure involves interviews and putting applicants interacting in small groups. I pass and I am admitted without hassle. But later on I pass by the admission area and there is an enormous queue and everyone is complaining about the time it takes. Bad Wolf is among them and I have this fuzzy feeling of having him being my colleague again. I picture us becoming bf and gf and marrying and me owning half of his business. When everyone is checked in, we take a field trip and we get to meet each other and assess each other. When we debate whom we seem to connect to and whom we think will end up fighting, I say I don't fear anybody in the group because I could handle them all, since I noticed we are all about the same size (males and females alike).
We have a quick lunch at the hostel, but some prefer going back to our college as the options there are better. We eat a soup and then some pastry. I then need to go to toilet and it is a unisex with two stalls and very little privacy. David the Kid is also rushing to the toilet, so I tell him to go first and instead I go look through a window on the corridor, with view over a lake on the back of the building. I spot 3 toads who change colors. Some are white with black patterns and another is blue and green and when they spot me they all turn brownish and dive into the muddy waters camouflaged. I find them awesome and then tell David about it but he tries to spot them and can't.
We join an afternoon activity with our hosts. They take us to the back of a local meat processing plant and show us how they observe the workers conditions and denounce them. They sometimes make live vigils, often they end up dumpsterdiving and salvage lots of meat. Back at the hostel they explain they are really into meat eating not only because they get a lot for free, but they believe they need it and start telling individual stories of some of them who became strong and other BS because of their meat diet. I feel it's time to go away or else I'll end up disrespecting our hosts. So I get up with a colleague and we say thank you for your hospitality but we are leaving. I go back to the room we were supposed to stay for a night and I pick up my bags and lots of electronics and headphones we brought in for some reason.
I go down to the lobby with my colleague and she asks me to do the checkout with her right away, because we have a ride. But I find they have a really nice library on the ground floor. Some guy approaches me rudely asking for help and I reply that I don't work there. He says "ok, but you study and stay here, right? I need some info about this book about Angola" I say no, that I am a biologist for many years and notice some incongruity in what I am saying. But then Marta P. comes to us, presents herself as the librarian and offers to help the dude.

11th July 2021

~7:30
Fragment:

Transitioning from the TBC era to WLK era. T is there as his paladin at one point. There's something very Roman-esque about the setting? We need to complete some gold-payment quest to continue on into the city. There's a group of randoms with us, part of our party.

Fragment:

In a place like L, by the pier area I think. There's a lot of commotion because of an upcoming football match. It's dark-ish, twilight-like, orange and purple hues in the sky? I want to take the subway to go somewhere, but first I got into this church. Many people are leaving an on-going service in the church but many still remain.

Aunt G enters the church, I notice her and approach, getting her attention. She eventually recognises me and I tell her we should go somewhere together (to make up for lost time?) because I realise this place is actually quite crowded. I don't entirely feel safe, I think. Someone, an older lady but not as old as my aunt, she's putting up cordons and tells us we can't go in a certain area of the church. She had white hair, maybe tied back.

The church is artificially lit, quite a warm light which contrasts with the twilight. Originally I wanted to move towards one of the areas that was cordoned off. We end up leaving the church and heading down a nearby subway entrance.

(recall gap)

We are next to a guy who's a pipe maker. I tell my aunt how many churches just can't afford new pipes, even though they'd benefit from them. The pipe maker gives us a statistic; only about five-hundred thousand out of one and a half million can afford such things. I realise and remark that it's only a third. I also remark that the distribution is going to be geographically unfair or disproportionate, too.

(after writing these two, I got up and had thoughts about WBTB as I got back in bed)


~10:00
Fragment:

Visiting a church with H. In the dream, I had a dream where I'd visited this church and it was sort of empty. So, when we're there together, I already know the layout. During the dream, this made me vaguely think of "vision quest" dreaming and that sort of thing (no doubt related to reading Dreamgates before bed). The church has an odd layout, the rooms are laid in an inwards spiralling fashion. One of the back rooms we go through is tiled and looks a bit industrial.

It has four big cylindrical tanks, all white. They're about twice and a half our height. I understand them to be part of some boiler system. A man, possibly the warden, is showing us around the church, some kind of introduction.

Before this, me and H are outside. We just got out of the van. It's dark? I don't remember the grounds too well but there are tall trees and low dry-stone walls. H shows me something about a painting, which resides out here, on the external church walls. The painting is very big, mostly vertical. It's about one yard wide by four yards tall.

The painting itself is kind of sepia in tones. It has a sketch-like look. At first I just see some eyes at the top, like part of an incomplete portrait, but as I move it around (because I'm moving it to hang it on another wall), the image changes. On some level, this makes me think of those "holo" images.

Fragment:

At a mall place with H. We live in a flat inside the mall, accessible via an escalator through a store, it's either a clothing or jewellery store. Some people I know from school are here, there's some interaction. Rest of recall is gone.

---

Notes:
- We went today somewhere that took us the same road that we can take when we went to see a pipe maker. This was recently, so I wonder if that dream theme was influenced by this.

- The TBC->WLK dream theme probably came from a nostalgia of the actual WLK period and from having some interest in its classic revival. On the other hand, I have little or no interest in paying to play the game, especially since there's very little social motivation for me to do so. The last time I went on, the atmosphere was more "toxic" than I recalled, something I found hugely disappointed, making me feel like some people just never grow up. Perhaps when I played many years ago, I was just that much younger that I didn't think much of it/just ignored it or maybe it wasn't that far removed from daily life, but now it would just bother me.
-- I still find WoW dream themes to be fairly enjoyable, since they do tend to focus on the sense of adventure, combat or exploration, which were feelings that were much more present in me when I was younger. I haven't felt a genuine sense of wonder about anything at all for many years.

- In the area where I used to live, the mall has flats over it. Although the mall in the dream had a more "airport-shops" feel to it, the rest of the associations seemed fairly close to memory of home.

Survival in chaos
Dream fragment. There was some sort of survival situation, it seems to be happening with some sort of massive creatures or robots the dream itself compares to war of the worlds. At some point, at the location shown below (map day2_coast_09, Half-Life 2), a character imagined what it'd be like to be so powerful, which the dream illustrated. First, you saw a war of the worlds tripod emerge from the ocean, then, as it passed through an area where you can't see it, it turned into this large, bulky, and black robot and approaches something to fight it.

War in my home
There is a war in my home, and I am laying in a bed of sort with a friend who is fighting with me. He expresses his concerns if this position is safe, but I say that I can just play dead, but he doesn't feel safe so he runs away. Then, suddenly somebody discovers me, somebody with a female voice, who insults me and then crushes my skull. After just a second, it switches to the view of my friend.

Then, there's a scene change. The war's over. A man is running around and complaining that he has to clean up. Apparently, there's a bunch of scorpions around because somebody broke a terrarium of sort. He puts away a few flower pots on the window sill and sees many small scorpions, which he crushes. Then, he sees what seems to be a dead tarantula on a cardboard box, which I know he thinks is a scorpion, which he whacks with something to make sure it's dead. Then, what appears to be an extremely agile spider jumps towards the man and I switch from spectator to active, as I then run away from the spider thing, which is now a butterfly or moth. It lands right in my face, and I try to wipe it off but it won't come off, which I explain to myself as the fact that it is way too flat. Then, somebody comes and gives me something which makes it easier to remove.

---

Coast screenshot:

RTG = Radioisotope thermoelectric generator

Finding my cat
I am looking at some sort of website where we can apparently get a large list of benefits if we register, including ~350€. And apparently, they are saving cats they found alone outside by giving them away to new owners. I am afraid of that because one of my cats is roaming around outside after they ran away, but she always sticks to a certain area around my house, which means I can easily find her. But then I am not sure if she got taken away by that organization. Later, I find her in a bush and one of those people from the organization is wondering what I am doing, or maybe I just thought that they did, but I explain that this is my cat. Later, I think that it might have not been mine and that the cat just looked like mine. But I tell my mother anyway, and I ask if we should carry her home to save her or if we should use one of those portable cat cage-like things. She says we should use the latter.

Makeshift RTG
I am putting the last piece into my makeshift RTG: the radioactive material. It's this large pellet; it resembles ~2kg of plutonium, but in the dream, it's apparently not plutonium and I am having problems finding the name of it on the periodic table. I think it begins with W. Later, I show it to some friends on Discord, and when I return to it, the walls and ceiling of the space where the pellet is in are red hot, which is apparently according to how it's supposed to work. I feel around about 30cm above the ceiling of the little chamber in the middle, in which the pellet is sitting, and I feel the extreme heat of the chamber, even on my torso. I am also a bit worried that some of the heat I feel might be caused by radioactive particles hitting me.

---

I have made a drawing of the makeshift RTG and also got the picture that the dream got inspired from:
Drawings



Picture of plutonium pellet

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At my home, my dad is staying at the house too. I want to dress or undress, so I go to the 2nd floor/attic looking for privacy. But then I feel a presence in the darkness and go to the end of the floor to find that my dad is actually sleeping in the bedroom at the end and just woke up. He is surprised to see me, I say I didn't know he was there. Then things turn to a deeply uncomfortable vibe as he gets too close to me and I can feel his boner. I get down the stairs fast but he also comes down. He turns the tv on and there's Ronaldo and other football players gossiping about something, and Ronaldo takes a stand on some issue that no one else seems to care, showing character and. I then turn around and my father is gone and instead there is Riverstone. He is also watching tv on the couch and switches to some remake of an old 60s series. I find it really stupid. It is some kind of super heroes show, but one of them is a clown that comes from the sea and meets the others on the beach bringing an ominous message. Then they embark on a boat, but I think some fall overboard. I think I hear something behind the curtain on the window behind the tv, so I move the curtain and see the window covered in all sorts of insects, large and small. We are grossed out, we get up and shake insects that started crawling over us. There is even a snake on the floor and we run in horror and wonder how these insects entered the house.
Then I go meet my mom by the riverside and I see a dog supposedly fighting a racoon or something at a pier, but soon realize it is a staged fight and the animals are rather playing with each other and someone's editing the sound to make it look like a fight. When mom arrives, she is driving an SUV or jeep and she asks me to get in quick. In the hurry I bump with the door on a car next to this and then our door breaks and falls on the ground. She says "never mind, just take it inside the car and we leave". So we leave, but soon after I shout to her that we need to stop as stuff from the back sit are rolling through under my seat and falling to the outside, like her purse and other items. She halts and helps me pick them up and some dude looking like a drug addict takes the chance to approach the car and sneak inside to steal something. But I block him and force him to put it back. He kinda resists but not an actual fight, so he caves in and puts things back. Then he asks for some money and agree to give him some change. But then all my coins and mom's are either silver and gold or special edition collectible coins and I don't want to give him those. He looks increasingly interested in the coins and makes some snarky comment that we are rich and can give him one of those, but I tell him we are also poor despite what it looks like and we can't afford to give him any of those coins but will keep looking for usable money in our purses. Then Alicja comes by and starts conversation with us. She's heading to a seamstress workshop and I go along. Bring a bunch of my unfinished projects for her to finish I guess. Then walks in some famous dude, kinda reminds me of Tony Stark but a bigger playboy. He brings along his girl to have a dress made for her, but she comes in half naked, with the fabric for the dress just covering her front, her butt exposed. She seats quickly on a chair to my side, to hide her back and gets some sympathy from some other lady also seated. Then what seems like a perfect copy of her comes in, fully dressed and also sits by her side. They take some time to realize, but when they do they are shocked to realize they are versions of the same person. And the first one seems to have no clue of what's happening, but the second one goes straight to the guy, and yells at him for allowing a time paradox to happen with his crazy experiments.

Inspired by a movie I watched during the day, I dream I am sharing a surveilled house in Russia with this gorgeous dude who is an astronaut, his supposed lover which is a bitch and some other dude. Me and the astronaut have been talking a lot and we are clearly in love and going crazy with desire. I am willing to risk everything for a frugal moment of passion with him, but it is close to impossible. There is a meeting in the house, a round table with them 3 and a bunch of other people from outside and I am just standing in the back listening. At some break he comes to me with a book on space stuff, and we get really close and flirt a little bit discreetly. Feels so nice. But his woman sees and attacks me for being so interested in the damn book. Then some genius autistic fat kid joins the meeting and someone pranks him by pulling a chair when he is about to sit. I try to warn him and hold him, but he falls. He still thanks me for being kind. After they are all gone, someone brings us some food for the fridge, the astronaut's woman is gone for a while and I signal him to meet me at the most back room of the house. I get there and it is a dark dirty unwelcoming room. I see images of when the family living there raised a pig on this room. I feel for the pig and see him being taken to die in my mind's eye. There is a stiff bed and I lay there while waiting. I fall asleep and I am out of body watching myself as vampire bats come from god knows where and feast on blood from my leg. I lose hope that he will come, but he does. Unfortunately so do other people and ruin our chance together. Some dude comes talk to him saying he has news about the UFO report. That the government reduced all the supposed unsolved cases to just ten and most were scooters(?) and drones. We realize it is a complete sham to cover up the story and reduce its significance. Anyway, they then announce he his going to get reinstated and receive all the honors and we'll all be free. We get separated and I don't know anything about him for some time. Then it is announced a big event that I watch, maybe on tv, where they all come riding on horses, with strange theatrical fantasy costumes. I see his woman in a sort of wedding dress, so I presume they are also getting married, but then she marries some much older dude and only after much effort I see my astronaut in the back. He is all groomed and fabulously gorgeous. I also see some figure dressed almost like death, all black, very gothic, whispering something to his ear and he abruptly leaves the event. I know he is coming for me so I rush outside to a park. I see in my mind's eye he is also running up a hill to a park, can't tell if it's the same. But I wait and look around. Instead I am approached by a big black dog sniffing me, I pet him, then his owner comes by in a bike and calls him. He runs towards him and knocks down a man in another kind of 3 wheeled bike. I offer help but he manages to get up alone, then looks concerned with 3 guys approaching. They look unfriendly and the others go away, leaving me alone with them. They surround me but do no harm, just laugh and tease me a bit and disappear. Then 3 spectral black ghosts also pass by, turn around and go back. I am getting a bit scared, not knowing what all these mean but have the feeling I am not going to meet my love. Then lots of people come to the park to run, walk their dog or play with their kids and they don't seem disturbed by the ghosts at all.

[07.07.2021]

Disgusting worm
Some sort of scientist created a worm that looks like a vein and is apparently parasitic. The worm is for some reason in my home and everything is flooded. Apparently, this is also a recurring dream. I try to grab the worm with tweezers, but it tries to attack my hand so I accidentally drop it in a cup of tea or coffee. Then it's on the ground again and I ask my mother where my garden gloves went. She says she doesn't know, but shortly after, I find them on top of a cupboard and put them on to protect myself from it when using tweezers again.

[08.07.2021]

Losing a friend
I am at some sort of massive forge with a friend or two. We have to do some sort of task where we have to ascend a platform while everything is breaking down and there's a great risk of death. In the end, all but one friend manages to get on the platform and that friend who didn't make it died.

Then, we have hope that they are still alive and try to look for them. Eventually, we find a YouTube channel of them that is apparently still posting some sort of Minecraft content and we find them in a jungle that looks like the jungle area in Just Cause 4.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some place sitting at a big table with different people. My cousin Duarte is there at some distance and Bad Wolf is nearer. Someone is at the door and some girl opens it. Someone ordered sandwiches, but Bad Wolf gets disturbed with that, says no one should have opened the door, because he is being chased by some debt collectors from the IRS or something and they can't see him inside. We want to protect him, so we are more careful and try to spot anyone suspicious outside. All is fine, so we turn to the table to eat. I am also turning the pages of an old agenda with notes that attracts Bad Wolf's attention. He asks me about it, I mention some stuff there that was written by my mom and that I used it later as a notebook. We become very friendly and shoulder to shoulder and it feels right. My cousin spots it and doesn't know our background so he finds it odd and then asks me about levels of appropriate touching between strangers and I clarify him that I am no stranger to Bad Wolf.

At a college in a palace, just as a visitor or a prospective student. I attend a class and I am supposed to join another class at the -1 floor, so I take the main staircase down to ground level, where I see that outside is under a blizzard like we've never seen around. Also, it's July and I am sleeveless and wearing sandals. I make a loud comment on how am I supposed to walk on that snow like this. Some female teacher in sandals agrees emphatically: "exactly, how are we gonna do it?" and points to her own feet. As I keep going down the stairs I make a snarky remark like "So you don"t believe global warming? Here is your global warming!" and some idiot girl replies loudly "Yeah, exactly! It's snowing in the summer." And I shake my damn head realizing she didn't pick the sarcasm. So I get to -1 and find a class I think is the one I am looking for, but after sitting I realize they are debating Star Wars. Fascinating stuff and they are putting on a video of an episode to clarify something, which seems great, but this is not my intended class. I go down a corridor and enter an area of teachers and assistants offices. One door is open and some students there who look at me. I signal that I am just lost and will leave but one of the guys fancies me and comes to the door smiling and offering to help me on whatever I need. I fancy him too, but I am focused and keep going after smiling back to him. I stumble across another corridor which seems more like a private residence area and then I reach a big open ballroom, 2 story high. It's full of older folks, all very posh and dandy, dancing classical ballroom dances, while some dandy younger people are watching them, I suppose learning. I want to go across and keep going, but everyone spots me and won't let me go. They force me to attend the lesson as some kind of punishment or for their entertainment. They gather a group of younger all female dancer, put a more jazzy music and I have to join them. At first I fail miserably, but then I pick it up reasonably well and decide to add my own style as if I know what I am doing. In the end, most men applaud and cheer me, but the ladies dancing are pissed as their intent was to shame me. Some of the older guys are madly falling for me and one is holding on to a shawl that I used in my dance, as if his life depended on it.

I am working and studying abroad, looks like in Belgium. I am with a friend in similar situation. Today we leave for good and we go back home, so we do our last shift in the bar we work at. A pretty industrial looking bar at the city center, right in front of the university we've been attending. My friend is heartbroken because she had been dating a guy and they had a fight and she doesn't see him for weeks but doesn't want to leave for good without seeing him again. But she lost contact with him and doesn't know how to find him. As we leave the bar and go around the block, we spot him entering a shop nearby and buying some gift. I feel like he is going to the bar next, looking for her, so I push her to go back and wait for him and she is over the top happy. Meanwhile I go back home to pack the bags. First I pass by the bus terminal to get tickets to the airport and there is a huge line, because they are having a promotion in which everyone gets free tickets and pays at the destination point on arrival. I really don't see the advantage, but it makes me wait in a line for too long. As I wait near the desk where they issue the tickets, I start taking things from under a chair next to me, curious about all the boxes of different sizes, jammed under it. It is boxes with sewing material and then I have trouble putting them all back in the same order.
Back home I start packing, surrounded by our other roommates, all excited and not allowing me to focus on my task. I recall the stress of being always late packing my stuff and missing my flights (in dreams), so I try to really throw everything on the bags without losing myself on details. But I still am a bit too tight on the schedule and nervous. Actually don't even know for sure at what time is the plane. Also my friend isn't coming and I have to depart alone. The bus trip is super stressful as the bus has to go down a mountain in a very narrow road and every one is nervously making jokes at how we risk going over the cliff.

At my farm, my dogs are very agitated. I hear machines working not too far, but what catches my attention is a strong meow nearby and my dogs rushing to the gate as if they are seeing some animal outside. I go running and spot a yellow baby kitten alone in the ground and pick him up. He looks thankful to be rescued and I go around looking for more or possibly his mother. Find another yellow kitty a few steps away, but this one is motionless and lying on the ground. I pick him up too and he is still breathing, just very cold. As soon as I warm them up they both look much better, but I want to give them water and some food asap. I still go around looking for where they come from and on a slope I spot some cave and thing maybe their mom is there with other kittens. Instead I spot two dogs with two litters of puppies. They seem all ok and safe and even growl at me, so I leave them. No sight of cats or kittens. Then my mom arrives when I am near my gate again and she tells me to look in another direction first. We go the other way and immediately we're right in the middle of Vila Franca, close to the train station. There I see lots of stray cats, most adults and they seem well fed and healthy. Finally spot a female white and yellow cat who can be their mom, she has a bed in a sheltered corner at the station, but no signs of other kittens or that she is nursing. There is another yellow one, bigger, a few months old, and he starts playing with some of the other cats that followed me around and ends up on the train tracks. I freak out and go scare them away from there. Then decide to just leave because I am adding more chaos and putting them in danger and I should be taking care of the kitties. I have been keeping them in my bosom, stuck between my skin and my shirt and the warmth seems to have done some good as they are both responsive and active now.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Watching a James Bond movie with Daniel Craig and feeling excited because it feels so real. I am wondering why these Bond movies feel so relatable and then realize it's how we immerse with the characters and become part of it. And I literally do and start hovering over a character who is friend of James. James is contacted by a dude and this character/me joins him on the street to meet such dude. The dude tells him "walk with me" and as they both walk a few steps ahead of me, I listen to their conversation. So the dude talks about the development of some kind of paper that can be stretched infinitely. He takes James to a bar and they sit on the counter. I sit by their side. He hands him a small pamphlet and tells James how to expand it. Just like a window on a tablet, James pulls the corners outwards to enlarge it and becomes a full A3 paper. It's a neat trick but why is this so top secret dangerous? Then he says we have to go for a walk again. Meanwhile the lady bartender flirts with James and he flirts back, but does not intend to pursue a romance with her. Yet she says she'll call him. He is like "How?" and recalls he handed a business card to the other guy and maybe got distracted for a second and she reached out and took another one for herself.
Anyway, once outside I get detached from the character I was immersed in and become my own self and a friend of said character. We again walk behind James and the other dude and we listen to them talking. So the dude says the big deal is that they managed to reproduce and apply that same technology to virtually anything besides paper. So imagine unlimited food and unlimited oil. Anything physical can be replicated and grown indefinitely from one sample or specimen. Then we start to see why he is in danger and why this is so dangerous. They cross the street and head for the entrance of some high security property and we lose them cause they don't wait for us and the sliding door shut behind them and the stone walls around are high as fuck.

This dream felt more real than the other fake lucids - although it still wasn’t real, I feel like my subconscious sparked for a second as I was about to turn lucid. It started with me sitting or laying down on a couch, I can’t remember - then I counted my fingers and I saw 6, 7, or 8 (can’t remember again, lol,)
But when I counted my fingers, like I said, I felt like I almost became lucid, though I didn’t, so I will continue to try.

Jamie dreams

Think I had 3. all short flashes. First was she was feeling bad about last weeks dream I had, Felt apologetic. Second she is reading a message I sent to her, and she is thinking and remembering things I was thinking about, as if we both felt the same about each situation??? 3rd dream was her showing concern. I had right shoulder pain last night. I made the mistake of web md'ing it last night and it set me on a huge panic spree. But it went away. In any case I'll be checking in with my doctor soon. but maybe that's what Jamie was sensing.

Dad

I was driving my yellow Neon. And my dad wanted to make use of it. I found that annoying.

5th July 2021

Fragment:

I'm looking at my profile on one of the art sites? I notice I have an unread PM and click to check it. It's from a site moderator I think and I check to see if it really is one, by looking for a certain symbol or something? The message reads at first something like "Dear user, as it is so rare to come across individuals like yourself", going on for a short bit and then asking further down if I'd like to become a moderator, myself.

There's still some kind of special application process and scrolling through the, actually somewhat long, message, I see some red hyperlink buttons with white text. They have something to do with answering some questions for the application. At the start of these is also a green one and I perceive green as bad? The green one is for saying that you're not interested in this or something.

I think about this and consider the responsibilities, the kind of things I might have to deal with, potentially unpleasant. And also the fact that it's not a paid role or position, it's voluntary even with the application and so on. Despite all this I still consider applying. Rest of recall faded.

Fragment:

In a game world of some kind, with H. It feels like DOOM, Quake or UT. The zone feels a bit void of anything at all, very empty. There's an orange-purple atmospheric effect? The only things that seem to exist around here are some kind of simple and white geometric structures that we walk across. I do some jumping tricks and get up on top of what is supposed to be like a small building. There's a "BFG 9000" here on the flat rooftop, it's a secret pick-up. This BFG has a unique design and is really quite big, as I pick it up I visually note that H gets it too.

The weapon's design is chunky at the start, then it becomes tri-pronged kind of and extends almost two yards in front. These bits sticking out are like electro-magnetic rails and they are a silvery metal but with a light blue electric glow. The rest of the design is primarily green, the green tone I associate with DOOM.

Anyway, then a boss or elite enemy appears or something. I consider whether or not we should use our new BFGs on it and end up deciding not and that we should just use regular rocket launchers to fight it. I think about the fact that the BFG has very limited ammo and sooner or later we'll end up firing at the same time anyway in combat situations, effectively wasting shots.

---

Notes:
- On waking and trying to draw the weapon in its most basic form I realised I couldn't imagine what the grip for it could be like. I then realised I've never really paid attention to this detail on BFG designs.

- The first dream may relate to how I have sometimes done things freely for others because I felt that it was important enough to do as a voluntary thing. The issue has often been for me that I have not been either rewarded nor recognised for it and not even getting some recognition for helping makes it feel like I've been used for my eagerness, ultimately making me feel naive and cynical about such things.

I am in Dream-Prague with Saimi, showing her some parts of the city I like. She and I have both just recently arrived there, although it seems as if we’re here for entirely different reasons, and the visits just happened to coincide. We seem to be in the northwest region of the city.

The place I’m showing her now is one that not many people know about, a neighborhood of winding streets on a hill, neat rows of houses on either side of the streets – a quiet, peaceful place. The houses are covered with what look like enormous cobwebs, large enough to completely cover most of the roofs. I tell Saimi that in the early morning, when it’s misty, they shine like silver.

We then head down to the tram stop together. This, unlike the webbed streets, is a location that’s familiar to me from a previous iteration of Dream-Prague, although it doesn’t correspond to any waking-life location. On that occasion, the whole area had a much rougher vibe and was also undergoing construction. Perhaps with this in mind, I pull out my cell phone to show Saimi a couple pictures of how it used to look.

I input the password first, which isn’t my waking-life password. This one is also six digits long, and the numbers signify a personally important date – there’s a charged quality to the memories the date pulls along with it. The date is December 22, I think (although I can’t remember the year now, or precisely what the date’s significance was). When I find the pictures, I notice strings of triangular orange flags in some of them, which tells me that I must have taken them during the protests.

The wait at the tram stop is rather long (justified in-dream, I think, by it being a weekend). There’s a whole little scene here with a man who’s decided to teach his dog another song (it already knows two). It’s a large dog, but friendly: it puts its paws on me, almost knocking me over. The song he’s chosen is one of those old, popular ones most people know: it has kind of a jazz standard feel to it, lots of seventh chords and a melancholy tone. The lyrics are in German. I don’t remember what all of them are, though, and nobody there seems to know them all offhand, so I get my phone back out to look them up. While I do, a man in a red shirt sings a version of them in English – although I have the impression he only remembers about half of them and is making the rest up as he goes, and he also starts at the chorus for some reason.

Once the tram arrives, I get my ticket punched – I just have a one-use one since I haven’t been here long. The tram heads straight east, neither turning or changing height so that, as the ground level falls, we’re positioned high enough to see most of the city from above. I look out over it. I’m glad to be back here, and I’m already looking forward to walking around all these places again.

Eventually, the landscape changes. We now seem to be going through a park, which is also familiar to me. I’m puzzled at first – I don’t remember the tram going here. But I do remember seeing the tracks back when I worked in this place, and so it does make sense that it would go here.

The plot seems to have changed now, with the dream partly drawing on memories of the old wildlife hospital, a different time and place. I still used to work here, although in the dream, it seems to be mostly a long-time crew instead of short-term volunteers. It seems as if this iteration also suffers from financial issues and is staffed at about half the level it should be to run it properly. This is currently relevant since the people on the tram are now coming to work here as well, which brings it about to where it should be – in fact, it seems as if I’m taking them here for that purpose.

As we walk through the park, I lead the way. I find everybody together out back behind a building, where they're seated in rows on the ground. As I walk between the rows, I happen to glance down at my own legs and notice I’m wearing brown leather sandals and khaki pants that are cut off at the knee. Not far off is the man who’s in charge of this place, who’s grateful to have so many people coming. There’s a sense that there was once some kind of past tension between us that was wrapped up in why I left, and he’d since come to recognize was his fault. But that all seems to be over now.

There’s conversation now, and something about a ceremony that’s going to take place soon, where Rae, NC and KD’s daughter, will break a staff in two and then remake it.

3.7.21

Metapsychology
I am in some sort of doctor's office. There are multiple patients. Some seem to be suffering from some form of psychosis or schizophrenia, others I am not sure about. There is a doctor there, male and of older age, and he needs my assistance to perform a sort of metapsychological technique to help or cure them of their disease, though he does not explicitly label it as such.

He puts me and the patients into a sort of dream state. In this state, we sort of float about in the room in a sort of OBE. He communicates with me by just talking into the room. The patients are invisible to me and him, so he just gives them instructions. He systematically cures their fears by putting them in such a fearful situation and then making them simply float out and show them that their fears can't hurt them. At one point, I somehow follow a patient exactly in their movements, and we fall into something like a golden vase. This time, the patient can't really do it, so the doctor panics a little but I somehow grab the patient and we float out, and I tell the doctor, who is relieved. Later it is shown that the doctor used something like game discs to activate the fear scenarios, which are on illuminated pedestals. Next up is a deep ocean scenario, which I try to delay because I have thallassophobia.

Disappointing lucid
After shortly waking up, I find myself in a dream. I am at home and wonder what happened in the last few hours. I remember the previous dream and wonder if that could've really happened, so I do a nose plug RC. I was surprised to see that I could breathe through my plugged nose, but, because I forgot to stabilize the dream, as I was thinking of what to do now, the dream collapsed and I woke up.

3rd July 2021

Fragment:

(long dreams, recall was good at first, but didn't make enough of an effort to start noting them down)

Some kind of RPG shooter, maybe a mix of Borderlands and something else, in which I'm helping two other people with a boss. I change to the highest difficulty and also to my best character, on the fly. I become aware that the gear drops will now possibly come with requirements the other players I'm helping won't be able to meet, but I consider that it really shouldn't matter in the long run and should actually be beneficial. It's a small and kind of dark room, can't remember much else about the location.

(recall faded too much) I'm in a dropship of some kind and I'm next to a tank-like vehicle. We're dropping into a small combat zone, feels like some kind of last-effort push kind of thing? The tank feels like the DRG 'dozer in terms of shape, but bigger, wider. More like a SC Fatboy, but smaller in overall scale.

Some bit later in a sea rig, also with the dropship or the tank, some family there too?

---

4th July 2021

Fragment:

Some bit about WoW. At first I'm playing a warrior and I have a huge two-handed weapon, looks very much like Sul'Thraze, but although my character isn't one, the attack animations are that of a troll character.

It's an unfamiliar and novel area, completely original to the dream as far as I can recall. There's some bit later on, taking place on a small natural incline, grassy and a bit rocky. The colours are all very muted and towards purple hues all the way throughout, there are a few stone ruins. At this last point I'm playing an underleveled warlock and trying to help in a high level group fight.

---

Notes:
- Before bed on the first night, I read the Dreamgates parts in the centre of the book about creativity and read the exercise there again too also while in bed.
-- I have really enjoyed this part so far and it has been motivating to read and re-read it, especially since I feel I've been accomplishing so little lately.

- The WoW dream was mostly residue of actual feelings while playing the game, but the troll thing felt a bit different, perhaps because WoW trolls have this tribal aspect associated to them and because of Dreamgates making me think about Shaman-related things

- Not sure if I've ever had a dream take place in a sea rig before, but possibly.