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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At a future scenario that feels a lot like a Myizaki's movie. We have colonies in distant planets but there are also vintage looking people and cities on Earth. One of those planets looks similar to one I know from a sci-fi book I read as a kid. It has big whale like animals that swim in the atmosphere. For some reason a rebel faction starts a war and someone shoots at these animals accidentally. This plays on the news and everyone is shocked.
This rebel group turned ludite and wants to destroy our civilization, but everyone else is pacifist and doesn't want this war at all.
I am on this planet and I receive a notification that we're in danger and we need to gather at a sports stadium nearby that also doubles down as an evacution site. People sit on floating cocoons that serve as private balconies to watch the games, when there are sports events, but which are also emergency pods that can close and leave the planet to one of our colonies on other planets. While we wait for developments, they keep us entertained by projecting holographically a game that happened on some previous occasion. It is undistinguishable from reality. One of the persons in our coccoon is a kid that lived with the ludites but is pacifist so he left them. He doesn't know our tech, so he keeps asking questions. He asks how do we distingiuish something real from an hologram. I explain it isn't easy and it is almost like telling th difference between a dream and waking life, some people just have that ability and others have to train to recognize it. I am one of those with the natural ability. I also have heightened senses and can hear what other people can't. And as I say this, I do hear something dangerous approaching. I warn others and we fly the coccoons above the stadium and see a fleet of rebels attacking one of our ships and coming towards the stadium. Luckily there are guardian drones that sit on the perifery and shoot anything getting too close. But any way, our pods close and take off immediately. The drones recognize our pods and don't shoot us, instead they make a formation to protect us from any incoming threat and clear a path so we can leave the planet safely.

With my dad's family side and my mom, all gathered at some house. It looks like my grandma's house but it is also different. The kitchen looks pretty much unaltered, but in the place of the pantry, there is a cabinet with a TV and a VCR and I am rewinding some tapes looking for some shows I supposedly recorded, but I can't find them. My uncle Fernando comes in and tells me to quit. My two aunts are sitting there, just observing me and say to him that this is important to me. But eventually I give up and we all gather in a living room. It looks like the dining and living room of my grandma's together, but on the wrong side of the hallway. People are all sitting around the room on chairs and sofas sitting against the walls. My cousin Cris is also there, but so are other people I never met. I feel like my current self, but I am myself as a kid and I am on the floor playing with dolls. I think my mom told the family that I am autistic, so they are all observing me and not asking me questions or mocking me as usual. But I also find strange that they don't ask any questions about the autism. I also brought my present cats along, so then I freak out when I notice someone leaving a window open. I go around checking all the windows and asking people to please keep the windows shut. I then spot a cat, that could be Ginga but looks different, jumping to a ledge of a window through which some family member is talking to someone outside. Fortunately the cat is wearing a vest and I manage to grab her by the vest on time and pull her back in. Then back in the living room by uncle Carlos also keeps a window just slightly open and I explain to him the cats can still escape through there and he gets pissed when I close it. Then I do another tour and check the bathroom. All is fine.
My mom then comes by and says they are announcing on the news that the Health Minister is dead with covid19 and I am shocked. But my mom is even more shocked and I wonder if this will get her to finally go vaccinate.
Then I follow an unknown lady going to a balcony on the back of the house, where I believe she is going to smoke and certainly open a window. Actually when we arrive there, the window is already open. I take a peak outside, we are strangely located on like a 10th floor and I see on a roof down below a black cat and a black and white cat which I can't tell if they are dead or alive. The black one looks like Cuscus, so I call for him and he gets up. Both cats are alive but stuck on that roof. He immediately tries to jump up, but it's too high, so I wonder what is he doing. Then I see there is a metal structure on the wall for putting little pots for plants and it forms some sort of ladder that is climbable. So he climbs it and when he is close enough he jumps into my arms. The other cat also managed to get out of the roof in the meantime. So I take the black cat inside, not even yet sure if it is Cuscus, but I go look if there is another black cat in the house just to be sure. Then confusion ensues when some other guest arrives bringing some 3 other cats. I lose count of the cats.

I tried to do a WILD. I focused on being aware as I fell sleep and almost immediately felt the rush of falling into sleep and the metallic noises of hypnagogia. When I open my dream eyes, I am in some scenario that looks like a hospital and I am meeting a friend who works there and another one who is being released or something. It feels like they are very familiar, like Riverstone and Nighthawk, but not looking like anyone I know and instead look like some american boys in their twenties. I also have a different look. And there is another girl in the group. I think the boys are a gay couple but I also love one of them. Anyway, once the one being discharged is with us, we all go walk down the street and I have kept my awareness all the way through, but just been watching everything unfold. The boy on the lead says something like "Where are we going?" or what is going on, and I use the chance to say that we are all dreaming and none of this is real. They react calmly and accepting. I suggest we just try to be mindful and rest in that awareness. So we all just sit on the floor and we meditate together. Whenever I feel the awareness fading, I focus on them and it really helps that they also look calm and focuse. I almost fall out of the dream a couple times, but I conjure some tokens with mantras and Buddha images and put them in front of us, saying we can look and touch them as a way to revive lucidity whenever it is starting to fail, and it works for some time, maybe more than I ever managed to stay lucid meditating. But eventually the dream fades and I feel my waking body. I don't move and I focus on getting back. I do go back but this time I land on a beach in what seems like ancient Mexico. There are some native ladies in their long skirts tending to some bonfires. I try to get back to my friends, but all that happens is that, like a mirage, a wall and a room within a room, appear to my right, where I can see the place we had just been sitting together, but I don't see them. I try to teleport there by just snapping my fingers and for a few seconds it works, but then I fall back to the beach. Tried again, wemt there a few more seconds and then fell bavk to the beach and the image of the wall and rooms disappear entirely and I can't seem able to summom it anymore. Then some kind of demon appears on the beach from behind the bonfires. It looks like an old womam with crazy hair walking on all fours and all the native ladies run away in fear. But the demon is after me. First I hide behind some shelter made with twigs sticking out from a pit in the sand. But she will eventually find me, so I decide to fight back instead. I fly a bit above the ground and wait for her to come. She has a kind of ax made of bones and I hope to snatch it from her and use it against her, but when we clash, in the middle of the struggle I just grab something else and hit her with it. Not sure what happened to the demon, because she dissapears and in her place come dozens of cave men figures running from all directions. Again I the mirage of wall with a door and I manage to cross it, landing on some backroom shit kind of place. that I feel I've seen before. It actually looks like a really nice office, but I sense a dark presence and know this is not a safe place. I try to cross it quickly, but all it's doors and windows just lead to more rooms. Until I spot a window to outside and focus strongly on it staying that way as I open it. And it does and I manage to reach the outside. Then I enter some normal dream in the time of Portuguese King Carlos I and the story is that he went on a balloon trip and had an accident due to bad weather and is lost in the countryside for 8 days until he gets back .

I had another dream set at the beach last night. What I remember most about this dream was this beautiful blonde who was probably in her early 20's.

When the dream began, I was walking from the pool area to the beach looking for my friends. I couldn't find my friends anywhere but while I was walking around looking for them I bumped into this beautiful girl who was also looking for some of her friends. We started talking and soon we both forgot that we were separated from our groups and we were flirting with each other. As we continued to talk, I was trying to find out more about her like where she was from and how much longer she would be at the beach.

We were suddenly interrupted when my sister showed-up and told me I needed to go with her because she and mom were ready to go and I needed to go with them. I remember feeling humiliated both that my sister had interrupted my conversation with the girl I was into and that she had announced to the girl that I was riding home with my sister and my mom.

I then follow my sister through a beach access beside the resort to the parking lot where the Reliant was parked. When I saw we would all 3 have to ride up front, I tired to get my sister to get in first and scoot over to the middle, but she reminded me I was not supposed to be riding back with them so I needed to get in the middle. I went ahead and got in and scooted over to the middle and buckled up and then my sister got in the passenger seat and closed her door and buckled.

While me and my sister were waiting for mom, I heard my sister say here comes your girlfriend, and then saw the blonde I had been taking two walking from the front entrance of the resort out to the parking lot. I was staring at her as she walked by and hoping that she didn't notice me and my sister waiting in the old reliant. I watched and she walked over to a red Ferrari and got a bag out of it and then walked back to the resort. I remember thinking not only was she hot, but she must also be really rich.

As I was watching the girl walk into the resort, I saw my mom pass her on the front steps and then walk towards us while the girl disappeared into the resort.

When my mom got into the Reliant as usual she could not get it to start. After spending several minutes trying to get it started, she got out to look under the hood and while she was out of the car, I saw the girl and a really muscular guy walking out of the resort and towards the Ferrari. I was thankful that that got into the Ferrari while my mom was still looking under the hood and that they did not notice me in the middle seat waiting for mom to get done and get back in.

When mom finally got back in and began trying to start the car, I noticed the guy who had been with the girl walking back into the resort. I turned my head and saw the girl was waiting by the passenger side of the Ferrari. As mom kept turning the key trying to get the Reliant started, I kept looking over towards her hoping that she did not notice my situation.

I woke up from the dream while my mom was still trying to start the car and my sister poked me in the ribs and told me my girlfriend was heading our way. I woke up right as she was walking in front of the Relaint and turned her head when she her mom trying to start it to see me in the middle of the front seat between my mother and younger sister.

I had another dream with my mother, sister, and the Reliant set at the beach last night. The main thing I remember about this dream was that at the beginning I went to the Cabana Bar by the pools and tried to order a frozen margarita. The girl working the bar asked to see my ID and when I showed it to her, she laughed and told me "better try again next summer". I think based on this, I was 21 in the dream.

When I turned away from the bar, my sister was waiting and told me she and mom where ready to go and I needed to ride with them since my friends had already gone home. I then followed her out to the Reliant and reluctantly scooted over to the middle seat and buckled the tan lap belt around my waist when she threatened to tell mom I had tried to order a drink from the Cabana Bar. We then had to wait in the Reliant for several minutes while my mom checked out of the resort, and I had to keep listening to my sisters threaten to tell mom I had tried to order a drink.

When my mom finally got to the Reliant and got into the driver seat to my left, she spent several minutes trying to get it started but could never get the engine to fire-up. I remember she eventually though it may need some gas and me and my sister waited in the car for several minutes while my mom walked to a gas station down the road and then came back with a big red gas can.

I remember my mom then seemed to take forever putting gas in the car and I was humiliated that everyone who walked past knew I was stuck riding between two females. When my mother got done putting the gas in the car, me and my sister had to wait again for her to take the gas can back to the gas station and then get back to the car.

When my mom finally got back in the car she started trying to get it started again, but putting the gas in the car did not do any good. I woke up from the dream while she was trying to get the car started and getting increasingly frustrated that it wasn't starting up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With mom at a beach. We hear spaceships launching nearby. We've been trying to sneak into the space launches. People who got tickets are being evacuated from the planet. But they move the launching site around, so every day we make a run to try to catch it. One day we manage to get there and we sneak into a line of passengers. Unfortunately they are asking them to show the tickets at the entrnace of the ship. We don't have any. But they don't kick us out, they assume we already had to show them at the maim door, so they send us to a ticket booth to get a reprint of the tickets. But if we go there, they'll find out. I claim that if we go there, we will miss the flight. They reply we can always get on the next one the next day. But as we are about to leave, someone calls us and says we're ok to go if we want. First we're excited, but as I walk to the ship I burst into tears and tell mom I don't wanna go. I remember I somehow left my pets behind on the farm with dad and that I"d rather stay and die with them. She agrees. Then everything starts falling apart, the building collapses like under enormous pressure, but in an orderly fashion, geometrically breaking up and being swallowed up into itself. I tell mom we need to jump through a slit to outside, but we fall into a void. The landscape outside is falling into itself too and disappearing rapidly under our feet. So we fall as if from high above in the sky. Mom is panicking, but I hold her hands and manage to stop us from falling. We are just levitating in the air and we see the earth disappearing, as if into a blackhole. But I decide to stop it by prpjecting a new reality. I tell mom we will land safely on land again and slowly I make us descend onto a new Earth, onto a street of cobbled stones and colorful houses. Not sure if this new reality is a pure illusory one or some paralell universe that we jumped to, but it looks like the one we came from.

So I created a new earth and all the spaceships that had been evacuating come back and join us. I learn that a friend of mine, who also has superpowers, had been cooperating in a secret project to create a giant antenna in space to guide all spaceships to their new destination, a space station somewhere. It was based on his telepathic powers somehow. Once he realized I had created a new Earth, he guided them all back home. They all meet to work on some new plan to repopulate the Earth. I want to be part of it, so I join the meeting. Turns out there is a team who fears we might need to evacuate again and they want to establish a colony on Mars. My friend is part of this group and he is debating some advanced physics. They ask what I do or know and I say I am a biologist and they say I might come in handy if they find life there or when we bring life into it. Then definitely a biologist will be useful. But my friend Zilla is also in the group and when she hears this, she comes to tell about her skills and I feel afraid they might chose her instead. She knows a lot about Martian geology for some reason.

28th July 2021

Several bits around the same theme of survival.

Fragment:

I'm watching a video, or TV broadcast. It's about a survival show on a large island. They're saying "in our previous show only a few survivors could manage to scratch a living but now up to seven million tribals will be competing!", something like that. There's this image super-imposed over a panning view of a tropical island. The super-imposed image is an idle animation of some white tribals posing together, forming a sort of pyramidal composition as is often seen in group photos. I think to myself that the older existing tribes won't take kindly to such a number of newcomers.

I also think to myself that I'd rather be there myself, playing, rather than just watching TV.

(transition or recall gap, chronology got messed up in recording the dream)

I'm on a sandy and sunny beach, it's near noon judging by the sun. I later become aware that to my left there is a jungle or forest area and further left and close-by is a ruined town or city. I came out of some kind of drop pod and I see someone else who just has too. I'm not sure whether or not I should trust someone else at this point.

Then some raptors about our own size appear and they start harassing each of us. I hit them with something and try to grasp them by the neck and try to twist and break them. I possibly kill one or two and help the other person out, a woman. Then when we're in close proximity, one of the raptors is trying to steal something from me, and it succeeds. I try to catch the raptor and it behaves like a cheeky dog and I may be slightly annoyed. The woman recommends I let go and don't bother chasing the animal. I eventually let go and the raptor stops being cheeky and just ruins off into the ruined city.

(recall gap)

Still with the same woman? She needs to send an e-mail to someone and I know there aren't many places where she can do that, here. We go into a building that I was in before at some point in the dream. Inside, it's dark. Lots of dark brown colour, like rust. There are many mechanical mechanisms and there are a few desktop computers set up in a cramped corridor.

There are many things here that I know to have been set up by H in the dream. I sit at some chair or something in front of a computer. I'm trying to change the plugs around back so that she can use this old Windows 95 machine, because I still don't fully trust her and figure that this way she won't be able to release any viruses intentionally, or accidentally. For some reason I'm struggling with the plugs. The video connection coming out of the W95 machine is almost like a USB but the shape is slightly different and won't fit into the even weirder input shape on the other computer, or screen.

I eventually give up and just let her use the normal computer, feeling that I can trust her just enough anyway.

(recall gap)

Something about another building or another part of this same building. There's some small weird water gremlin bug thing... In actuality it looks a bit like a grey coloured shrimp but in the dream I think of it as crayfish. I am nervous around it because it moves erratically and I don't like its look and the look of its "whiskers".

---

Notes:

- The next day, I was using some Firewire stuff with H to set up a microphone for me to use. At the time, that made me think of the USB-like plugs in the dream, because Firewire is not too different in the physical look of the ends and its intended purpose is similar anyway.

- My nervousness around the grey creature was related both to shallow standing water in that area and also to the residual feelings of fright or jump-scare I still get from, for example, some arachnids.
-- I do not particularly like shrimp, neither in look or smell, though I can't say I recall their taste. I always thought they looked a bit too "bug"-like to eat, despite their popularity in my native region.

- I had to look up crayfish because I couldn't actually remember what they looked like; the dream creature really didn't resemble them.

15th July 2021

Fragment:

(recall going from later to earliest bit)

I'm walking with a group of people, one of them is JC from school. He's older, but otherwise looks how he used to, mostly. We're escorting a mech, a train of sorts which is depositing rails in front of itself as it goes? I've just been paid for half of my service on our current mission. I was given two glittering golden rocks (the "gold" doesn't quite look like actual gold but in the dream I don't become aware of this). One of them is not covered in this glittering gold.

The one that is completely covered in glittery gold, I hold in my right hand and crush as we walk. I see on the top right of my vision an interface element that displays that I was credited with 40 million credits. JC tells me the company actually recommends against doing this, especially without having finished the mission yet. I tell him "I don't care, my inventory is too full" and I think about how the group doesn't seem keen on waiting for me to sort this out, as evidenced by the fact that we're on the move.

(just before this)

I'm with JC wrapped in a sort of throw, it's grey and white. (I think like one I have at home in waking life) There's a very serious Covid context, though I'm not worried about it. R, also from school around the same time as JC, is not too far from us, she's some sort of inventory or cataloguing person? She's wearing a labcoat, which when I first see her makes me do a RC by counting the fingers on my right hand, though my RC fails to pass, for one thing because the count was correct and for another because I didn't question it further because of the social situation.

Me and JC are a distance away just sitting here basically. R tells us that we have to wait for this shipment of cloth or something. I think I check the order details myself, either on an interface element or some nearby physical interface. Unfortunately, we still reach the conclusion that this is the best option. I was considering trying to change the order to something else that would still be suitable but delivered quicker. Any other option is noted to have an even longer lead time on production.

R chit chats, saying she's surprised that "you two idiots are still around", as if she expected to never see us again in life. I tell her in jest "dad always says there are always idiots around; I guess that happens to be here" or something to this effect. She's amused in some way but still thinks the same of us, I don't find myself thinking about it much further one way or another. Me and JC sort of become melded with each other as we're sat here, waiting in the bundled throw. R is very strict about viral control, but I don't recall in what way. She partly looks like an Asian woman in her thirties more so than herself really (probably a dream attempt at making her appear a more chronologically correct age).

Then there's a drone of some kind. It's scanning the local area and I ask R about it, "is it a geological survey drone?" but she doesn't reply, not ignoring me, but as if I never said anything. I get up and follow the drone around for a bit, the view swaps from first to third person and back again a few times. I follow it to a site not too far, a beach of some kind and it goes into a receptacle that changes shape mechanically, as it receives the drone. Then, from the sea a train sort of surfaces from the water, it all looks very Japanese "Mecha" style. (This is where the first bit of recall started)

(there was more recall from earlier parts but they faded and other details were lost, it was a long dream)

---

Notes:

- This is the most recent time I've actually done a reality check whilst dreaming, which goes beyond just thinking about it, but because of the social context at hand I became distracted far too easily from really questioning reality. Even so, with the previous DJ entry, that's two times recently compared to not very often, if at all, in the last months.
-- I am realising now that this may be an issue with my artificial dream sign, by its nature it's more likely to include a distracting social context. I should think further on this. In addition to that, I think it's ironic on some level I decided to do a hand RC when it isn't necessarily my preferred way of checking anymore. If I could go back into this dream and change my approach, I would instead have stopped and thought about what I was doing and where I was; after all, how could I be meeting people I knew years ago but haven't seen since, for no reason at all? Not just one of them, but two of them at the same time, along with other suspicious dream qualities.

- The dream had a bit of a feel of MHW and Dark Souls there at the end.

- There was something "desaturated" about all of the dream's location. Like there was a faintly yellow mist and there was no sky to speak of exactly, just this mist. No memory of shadows really, defined or undefined.

Some in-line notes in brackets.

27th June 2021

Scraps:

Unrecorded. Something about being underwater and there's a giant ghostly crab and an equal sized ghostly shark or something. There are underwater buildings, regular city buildings, but inside they are mostly empty? After this dream, I remember thinking about how "being in water, is to fly" or something of the sort making a comparison of the two states. (I have no special interest in dream flight that doesn't use some kind of device or body part to accomplish it, though I do like swimming quite a lot.)

(This dream had a general nature of conflict or dispute and seemed to take place in an original location)

---

28th June 2021

(recall not written down on waking but later on this day)

Fragment:

At home. A courier is putting something through the letterbox. I approach and he's actually putting his hand through the letterbox now and trying to pull the triangular package back towards him through the opening. (The package was bigger than the opening but it looked stiff, not bendable)

The letterbox is lower down than it should be and the door seems to be see-through actually. As I come to open the door, first opening the foyer door I think, I find that the front door is simply not there anymore. I or the courier grab the package and I ask if he has to take it back because of it being batteries or something. ^{(possibly intrusion from looking at batteries online, the night before?)} He gives me some explanation accordingly but then decides to leave it with me after all.

Fragment:

There was more before this but no recall. Arriving at a sea-side area, possibly by car. I'm with someone, H? There's a sandy beach where I expected loads of people would be and when I see it's mostly empty, the other person tells me "see, I told you so" or something. The beach is between a six or so story tall fortification on the left, typical sea-side fort look to it, at least for the style I'm used to. On the right, the road slopes up at slow incline and there's some other building on the side of the beach.

I end up going into that building? No recall of the inside anymore. Something about two muscular women (like Klingons but not?) and I don't get along with them for some reason. I leave this building by a door on the beach level, like a back or access door. The beach isn't quite there anymore, like there's more water now. It's sunny through the entire dream segment.

(Shadow positioning suggests that the sea is West, the fort South, the second building North and the road I came from (but never looked toward) is East)

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At mom's, in my old bedroom, grandpa is laying there on the bed. Zilla and Licas are visiting. It rains outside and starts pouring water inside the room. But it is not the rain, I find a burst out pipe on the ceiling. I fix it after some struggle and lots of buckets of water. Zilla is chilling on another bed and the scenario shifts into a beach. We are now sunbathing on the beach and she goes nudist. Dares me to also go naked, to which I object. Insists on seeing my nether parts, claiming she learnt something important she wants to show me. But I say absolutely no.
Out of nowhere comes a robot with evil black eyes that starts talking to us. Zilla reacts pretty normally, but I am very surprised. Then more are coming. It is a whole family of talking robots. Silvery, shiny, big squarish heads with big black eyes and demonic mouths with sharp teeth. They have a black robotic gorilla which seems to be their mascot, but even bigger than they are. They stay on the beach for a while by our side and then get up and leave. People on the streets are scared to see then and run in all directions.
We go to a nearby restaurant with several floors and we join a party on their basement. It is dark and music is playing and the robots join us again. People no longer panic, they are just curious now. I get closer to take pics of them, but my cell phone gets lots of interference and I fail. I remember this trouble photographing objects happened to me before and it was around holograms. That's when I realize they are holograms. Someone with high tech machinery is projecting the robots with some artistic / sociological objective. I confess I am disappointed but relieved, as they looked creepy as hell.
I get separated from Zilla. While I go look for her, I find the toilet and see myself in the mirror. My hair is short, white and fluffy, with some rust-like orange color at the ends.

I and some friends are some kind of slaves. We live in a big barn and we sleep in the attic-like upper floor. Our guards control us by locking us in up there. But I often get out through the roof and manage to jump to other nearby roofs of other buildings, with access to the street. I just don't go too far, because I don't want to leave my friends behind. But I was able to come up with a plan for a few of us to escape and get some weapons and come back to free the others. Strangely enough, I know how the plan will work out, because I already lived it and recall how it went. But our oppressors seem to also know what we plan and put a dozen armed guards on the roof to stop us from escaping. I feel despair, because I can taste the freedom I knew we already had and now the whole plan is in jeopardy, as if they also knew the future and altered it. But I have another plan. There are other windows that don't give access to the roof so easily but give direct access to the ground 30 mts below and I have rappelled that height before (in RL actually), so I feel confident about it. if we are fast, 2 or 3 of us could slide down before the guards even react. They have armors and big guns and can't move fast enough from their position in the roof. We start collecting rope everyday whenever we find some. We will have to tie it with knots but we hope it works.

I am at Camp Richardson with some of the family. Right now we are in some trailer that we are touring or in which we are planning a tour. There is something about it being a small space and people not wearing masks. I think David from Discology is here. Now we are down at the beach. The beach is a deep and wide expanse of only sand that doesn’t seem to be crowded by other people. The water is calm and devoid of boats, etc. I am a ways out and jumping off a tall (20 ft?) wooden structure. There’s something about the Grateful Dead - maybe they’re playing in the background? I jump in and immediately hit the bottom, hard, but it doesn’t really hurt, which surprises me because I thought it was much deeper. Back on the beach, Michelle is here and brings me a Starbucks? coffee, which I think is very sweet of her.

5th September 2020

Dream:

One of several long ones. At a version of the clinic I'm registered with. I see a receptionist in a narrow hall and ask about whether they are still doing appointments. She said that appointments have to be booked nine days in advance, at least.

Then I proceed to the waiting room anyway. It's different from how it should be and a whole lot bigger. The room is packed, reminds me of an airport. It's well lit with natural light.

I try to find somewhere to wait and become aware that I'm wearing a dust cover mask. it feels like it keeps slipping down and uncovering my nose, which bothers me. Only a few other people are wearing masks of any kind at all. The vast majority is not, I don't feel that this is right but I feel there's nothing to be done about it and carry on. Eventually I find a little corner around a pillar. I think of sitting down at a chair but I remember thinking I don't want to be as close as everyone else is to each other. So I just lean back against the pillar.

At some point I realise I'm wearing one of my black t-shirts and the trousers I have typically been wearing lately. My mask slips off again, and I adjust it again. This time I try to make the upper strap stay in place better. I simple consider this recurring thing to be the fault of my choice of wearing a second version I found of the mask at home. (This would have been a good RC moment)

I see people come and go, in and out of appointments and the hall. I have thoughts about whether I'll be able to hear my name called from here.

Then as I'm waiting, around the corner I spot two black guys are having an argument with each other, they are at opposite ends of the area. Something about a game, but not? One of them is more calm than the other but is also upset. He's chunkier and nerdier in some sense. He has a cap, dark navy colour. His skin is about as dark as the cap, reminds me of Franklin from GTA5 but darker. The angrier guy is taller and is much closer to where I am, he is well built and again partly reminds me of Lamar, but no cap?

I forget their words to each other. I become curious if the angrier guy is going to get physical or not in his anger, he does a little, gesticulating violently but seemingly out of frustration, then letting go of the subject and simply walking away. Then when he's left a large number of people follow behind him.

For some reason, I eventually leave too. I'm outside, it's an unknown street. I remember a sandstone bridge over the road, it's daytime. Eventually a very full bus goes past, after I'd already crossed the road.

There's a white girl, with curly hair (what colour?). She's on the other side of the road, I feel I know her somehow in the dream. I forget exactly what happens next but then I'm going around on the back of a bike or something. Streets remind me of native country.

Eventually I/we arrive somewhere. It's a house along a row of impressive houses with a typical local look with sandstone features. There's an open courtyard. Reminds me of Hei's place. Then I'm on foot and it seems to be on a hill/cliff, overlooking a semi-populated area. That girl from before is now sitting on a bench here, naked? She gets up and walks toward a ledge wall and I walk up close. Then, looking down from over the low-ish wall, I see a baby cat trying to climb a tree from lower down to get to us.

Fragment:

At a beach place, overcast day. There's a big bridge over this bit, really high up. Some rocks at the base of one of the support pillars. It's like a highway overpass? There's writing in Arabic and maybe Hebrew, but also a third language which glyphs I don't recognise or recall.

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Notes:

- I remember the dispute between the two guys was interesting to watch. Looking back at it now, it seems like it was some kind of metaphor for internal debate and the fact that many of the other vague dream characters left with the angry guy kind of reinforces this idea for me.
- The mask slipping off on its own is something that I found was happening with some face coverings I tried to wear because of the virus situation. It doesn't happen at all with dust cover masks but this seemed to have slipped by me in the dream.
- The second fragment may have been because we recently re-watched Prince of Egypt, a film I didn't remember very well at all anymore.

I am walking in Mom’s neighborhood when I notice an old lady staring at me from behind the wooden fence around her yard. She’s wearing sunglasses, some kind of hat, and I think a mask. Despite all this obscuration, I can tell that she’s older (maybe also because I think she’s wearing a sweat suit). As I walk, I look back, turn, and flip her off with both middle fingers. I don’t think I expected a reaction, but I can tell it’s really set her off. I think she wants to come out and fight me. I can see her starting to go through the house to come out here. I think about taking a right at this street, but think I’ll be highly visible. I hear her shouting in the house for someone to come get me and/or call the cops. Instead, I turn around and head through some marshy area with a walking path through it. I run across a white bridge that is a contrast to the dim water and marshy greenery. This seems to happen in slow motion, and I have time to notice how beautiful this scene is. I think that I should remember it so it might have an effect on my dreams or something similar. I think there’s one more bridge but also that I’ll have to walk through the water at some point. I think I’m wearing slippers? Earlier I also noticed how I was wearing fairly bright colored clothes. I think the police may be close.




I’m with Melissa on what seems to be a small porch? It’s really more of a small, flat protrusion from the side of a house, with mesh sidings and top. It’s just big enough for us two and I think the bottom of it is some kind of padding. All of it is black. We seem to be fairly high up and overlooking a long beach. I think we’re both naked. My head is close to between her legs, and I start going down on her. She crawls on top of me and I continue.

I’m on a walk. I get to the edge of a driveway, where a Black man has met and is talking to a white, male police officer. I get the impression he has come down here so the officer won’t go on his property. Now, another Black man comes out and does the same thing. The officer leaves amicably and then the first man turns to me and starts handing me some cash, a few crisp bills. He has short hair and seems very genuine. I think it’s a few 20s and I don’t even know what it’s for, so I say no, I can’t take it. The second man, with shoulder length dreads and baggier clothes, tries doing the same, and I think I give in. I think at the beginning of this, I put on headphones to listen to a Tedeschi Trucks Band show (the song was ‘Laugh About It’ into a drum segment). The weather was cooler - I had pants and a long sleeve. I was walking on the right side of the roads [sic] as two girls were coming towards me. I noticed a car coming from behind them and from behind me as I had to go around them to the left, thinking it would leave very little room for the cars.




I’m walking into a store with Sage. I think it’s a reptile or animal store. On the left, I notice three tanks on stands that’ve been covered with a black film or cover. Two older ladies working here say hi and then I think profile or customer service me. This irritates me as we walk into a larger back room, Sage way ahead of me.




I’m on a walk and have ended up on what looks like a sandy hillside that overlooks a beach and the ocean? It is sunset and the thick and vivid layers of deep reds and oranges are absolutely beautiful. There is some kind of electronic trance music playing and it makes for a very ethereal moment. I’m now down on the beach and there are a bunch of people dancing to the music. The sunset is the background, but there are also strobe lights. I think I start dancing.





Granny has died, but I feel comforted knowing that she had the opportunity to say bye to everyone and also that she came to me in a dream (*this seemed very real, and I was recalling pretty much exactly our visit with her yesterday).

I am in a bookstore (that looks pretty similar to Grassroots). I notice Susan Tedeschi in an area by a large window. She has a small group of people around her and is singing to them. Everyone is moving along to the music and having a good time, but I notice that a lot of the, Susan included, are frequently yawning (I also notice Seth from work). I know this isn’t because they’re bored, but because it’s late. Now, I think I am looking around and notice about six DVDs on an end cap. I grab one of the bottom ones; it is a House of Leaves movie that I’m not sure I knew existed. I think the front has a picture of a house, small and simple. The back has a picture of the house, I think from the other side, further away. In the foreground is a ‘woman’., I think back against a fence. Her head is definitely that of a human, but her body looks to be the body of a spider. It is proportionate, which is unsettling, I guess because it is something that should not be that exists so doubtlessly. I get the sense that the one half of her body is mirrored from the other. She is blond and though her face currently seems to be screaming or twisted in anguish, it is attractive. The whole image is tinted red and is subtly but acutely disturbing. There is a small group around me and one asks me to describe the plot of House of Leaves. I hesitate, not really wanting to, then give in. I say it is about a family that moves into a house, where everything goes fine until one day they discover a door that didn’t exist before. I seem to not remember much of the plot and leave it at this. My speech is slow and descriptive and more confident than I thought it’d be.




I’m outside somewhere (a beach?) with some people from work. Someone has asked me and Seth?to move some TV screens off of a table. This plastic folding table is very close to the water. We procrastinate until I see Rosy walking some people over here. I think they’re why they needed to be moved, so we do it really quick. I’m now sitting across from Lauren at a picnic style table. I’m cognizant of how we’re not ‘6 feet’ away. The background is of tall pine trees and a twilight? sky. An owl flies around; I lay down, extend my leg straight up, and try to get it to land on the bottom of my foot.

I am walking through what looks like Dad’s neighborhood (maybe on one of the higher streets, like Virginia Foothills). I run into Kat and she ends up walking with me. It is near sunset and some of the lower and plumper clouds are getting some color. The rest are smaller and almost evenly spaced, bright white against the blue. I look directly up and notice a glowing sliver of the moon. It’s all very pretty. Kat mentions the sky too, saying she’s grateful for Emma for getting her to pay more attention to it, and that she wants to see it more often. I take some pictures of it as we walk. We end up at her house. I think the garage door is open, and I can tell by the way she’s talking that she has intentions to leave now. Before she does, I somewhat bluntly mention how I want to stop drinking. This seems to pique her interest, and she talks to me about it. I tell her I feel like quitting altogether but am not sure if I should stick with moderation. She pulls a little red champagne flute from somewhere and hands it to me, saying I could use it for moderation. I look at it and its almost grimy looking opaque sides, imagining how it might hold a small serving. I kind of like the idea and think I might take it, but then change my mind. I say that I want it to be a mindset thing and not something like this. Now, Chelsea has shown up, I think in a car. She stands behind us and when she sees me she recognizes me but thinks I’m someone else. I tell her no and think it slightly odd that she wouldn’t remember me. I am now walking back, now either on a dirt road or a road surrounded by dirt and small hills. There’s a small stream of water running down this slope, through the soil and grasses. I follow it and see where it meets another stream on an opposing slope, turning to one and running downwards. I look out to my left and notice a hill where water appears to be coming from. There’s a tiny canyon carved into the soft looking dark brown soil, and I imagine walking through it. I am walking right by where the streams meet, doing okay with stepping on the sturdier patches of soil and grasses. Most of it is still soft and it’s hard to tell what will give, so I end up getting both of my shoes wet and muddy. I end up back home, rinsing and scrubbing them. I put them out to dry even though it’s pretty overcast.




I’ve gotten an email from the new girl at work (it’s not actually the girl who is supposed to start. I think I see a profile picture on the email or something and it’s an unfamiliar heavyset white girl). She’s asking about me not being there for a shift, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t been scheduled. I think I’ve been using time off. She sounds more like a manager than a coworker and kind of annoying. After the text there are a few pictures of a hotel room - I think it must be a work thing. The hotel seems nice and also very familiar. I think I must have stayed there before. I think it looks more impressive than it actually is. A picture of the shower shows the floor of small, dark pebbles and the opposing stainless steel shower heads. Now, I am in the hotel. It looks like someone had just been here but tidied a bit before leaving, so I guess I just missed her. There’s a full looking black garbage bag in the abnormally large space adjacent to the toilet. The toilet itself actually has a garbage bag around it, somehow from the ground up. I adjust the opening of the bag so as to be able to use the toilet.




I am somewhere with the family. We’re in a plain, rectangular building that is for something like customs or passports or photos (something that we have to do together as a family). I notice quite a few other families here too, I think seated at tables. Whatever we’re doing here, the personale is being very aggressive with us. They are making us do tasks or challenges that seemed to be designed to result only in failure. A younger guy, I think in a uniform, tries to handcuff me but only gets one finger. He notices, his facial expression betraying his embarrassment, and tries again. The same happens, though he doesn’t notice this time. He tells me to now “clap above your head and find some shade.” I think he also holds me down to ensure failure. Still, I succeed in clapping above my head, slightly satisfied with defying his expectation of failure. I’m not sure about the shade part though. These things go on for a while longer. When we are done, I’m thinking about how I’m going to write to someone about how atrociously we were treated.




From a third person perspective I am seeing a high rise building (a hotel) that stands alone on a sprawling fine sand beach. The building seems somewhat modern and is mostly a tower but with some structural embellishments at the base. It is also way too near the water and, in fact, there is currently water submerging the first few floors. I think there’s something about the occupants just staying inside when it floods, though that seems counter intuitive. Someone is interviewing a lone, blond man maybe in his late 20s. He seems foreign, probably European, though he is speaking more articulately than most native speakers. I think he’s talking about the structural design and why it is flooding.

Morning of January 31, 2020. Friday.

Dream #: 19,401-02. Reading time: 1 min 35 sec.



My dream self’s focus is on electrical wiring, which is typically co-occurrent with an increase in mental activity (neuronal energy) while sleeping (and sometimes, as here, eventually renders fire). (It is a common sleep-wake mediation process for me, but the rendering and narrative are always different, though in one dream it was more obvious than usual when I “removed my head,” which was a football helmet, and examined and moved the wiring inside it.)

The setting is unknown (though my dream implies it is our present home). Zsuzsanna is nearby (to my left, modeling our sleeping position). At about neck level, a cluster of gold wiring is hanging from an open part of the wall (so it is a type of wall mediation, that is, navigating emerging liminality, as well as associations with increasing mental activity). Although the wires are loose, I consider that the current is stable as long as they do not get moved either accidentally or with intent.

Zsuzsanna’s brother Simon approaches and comments on the wiring. I move the cluster slightly and consider the loose wiring (and certain wires touching each other) might cause a short.

As a result of moving the wires, my dream’s dynamics and narrative changes, with my liminal intent to continue sleeping. The incidental preconscious personification as Simon, who remains passive, also correlates with my sleep-wake mediation. (The preconscious simulacrum only dominates when waking is more of a priority, kind of a no-brainer.)

My dream changes into typical indoor-outdoor liminal ambiguity. The outcome of this wall mediation results in its virtual division expanding and becoming a beach that defines open liminal space yet is still impossibly implied to be inside our house. (However, potential water reinduction is not clearly defined, as the ocean seems distant.) I now see a very long electrical cord that seems to go all the way to the shore (while the beach sand it is in is still a part of the floor of our house), and minimal fire consumes part of its length as I walk along, mentally extinguishing it to sustain my dream. (Fire also sometimes correlates with the increase in body temperature when closer to waking.) There is no more fire, and I sleep for about another hour.

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Several of my recent dreams have had atypical variations of intentional water reinduction, all with unique results, for example, “Digging Up a Pool” from January 28.

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