Oh no? Dream I went to find Jamie, wound up in some Toronto like apartment. A friend of her's said Jamie had gone away recently when she "Slipped into a coma." I meant to ask then if that meant Jamie Had died? FA I'm Jamie and All i can see is my legs and water. with little spots of blood in the water. woke up for real and was real concerned. I know I've dreamt things about her before that turned out to be true. Jamie, if you read these and planning on leaving this world please see me first in Jesus' name... Family Was visiting family and we were in a car? I was sicka nd started snotting everywhere . My family kept getting mad because I was sick. I was upset because I couldn't help it.
I was walking in to a restaurant and walk up to the counter. The cashier asked me what I would like and I told her I needed to use the restroom and to know where it was located. She pointed to my right and I thanked her. As I am making my way to the restroom I overhear two employees in a conversation. One had said she was in a terrible accident and said if it were okay to receive extra money on her paycheck to help pay it off. The manager told her it would be fine and that she was hope things will get better for her. This made me smile as I open the door to use it. The dream scene then change with me waking up in my father room back in my old townhouse home. I got up and notice my father walking. He ask me what was wrong and I told him I want to check on my other family members. I began walking to the living room and making my way upstairs. As I did I started to realize I shouldn't be here and that it's strange that I have awoken here. This feeling, I knew now I was lucid dreaming and made my way fully up the stairs to see my family. I open my brother's room and observe all the stuff inside. I had pick an item off his desk and said looks like my brother has done a lot in this dream. I look outside through the window and could see it was night time with a cartoon looking sky with stars. It was a nice view as I turn my attention to seeing who else was here. Once I turned around, I saw my half brother and my grandma standing in the corner. I high five both of them and greeted them. I then saw my brother and an unknown woman next to him and greeted both of them with a double high five with our hands. That's when i went to my mother room and check on her. I could see she was resting and notice I came in. I told her hello and that it was great to see her. She ask me how I was doing and I made brief conversation while reminding myself at times it's a dream. She ask me what did I mean by that but I would only tell that I have to leave soon. As I said my goodbye I went down the stairs to speak out my intention to speak to a friend who had passed away not too long ago. I told him I don't know much but if it's possible you can always visit me here and that we could talk about anything. Wished him well and while walking outside to see that it had become daylight. I woke up not too long afterwards.
2022 May 2nd Note to self, at this point I started recording dreams with year first, month second and day third, because as I was archiving dream notes from my old phone, I realised just how much of a mess day first was causing me and it was something I had not given any thought when I first started recording them in that way. In the future, it will be easier to maintain an organised record by using year first, as I already do for some other things. Some in-line notes. Dream (Fragmented): I'm at my old bedroom. Dad is here visiting or something. For some reason, there are some sex toys out in my room and dad grabs them and piles them on top of an old computer desk I used to have in waking life. (The plastic "veneered" one) Dad doesn't comment much of anything about the sex toys, but I feel embarrassed. He talks to me about something completely unrelated. (recall gap) I'm swimming out of a body of water into a stairwell. I can't see the bottom of the water and as I climb out of the water, I'm soaked and dripping. I don't feel cold or hot. My hair is somewhat long and I see it in front of me and feel water dripping off it. The place looks like a school of some kind. I get up to the first mid-landing of these stairs and then climb some more steps up to a second landing. There are no more stairs after this point, as if they're missing, and so this landing just leads over back into the water again, from a higher point. (The preceding segment was recalled while dreaming the next segment) I'm in a field, walking along with two people. One of them is a local, the other someone I know (from the dream?). This field is strange, as it is made up of "strips" about one yard wide of specific plants, which all just seem rather wild and not at all cultivated, despite the organised strip logic going on. As a result, there's a varied array of colours, ranging from a nearly blue-green to a dry yellow-green or maybe brown. The local man is slim and on the older side. He tells me something about how they have no choice and how this is all they can afford to do. I understand "they" as their people, as if I'm visiting somewhere that I'm foreign to. Then, as we walk off the slightly sloped field area and starting down on a slightly steeper slope, I notice a small lizard, about a foot long counting the tail. Its on the side of a plant or a piece of dry/dead wood. It has a black scaled body interrupted by fluorescent yellow chevron stripes. The tail is flat and spiney, almost beaver-like. Then we're walking into a road and I worry about traffic but it doesn't look like there's any, it looks kind of desolate or calm. It's day time, the sun is low but it's not sunset yet and it's half cloudy but it appears bright. There's a road for each direction and they're about twenty to thirty feet away from the other, one of them being on a lower bit, as this whole area is a sort of downwards-sloping cliff seaside cliff area, to the end of which we're walking towards. As we get closer, even though the lowest point of the cliff is only about one yard up from sea level, I feel afraid I might drop or be pushed into the sea (on accident or otherwise). (It's at this point I recall the previous segment, I think the water must trigger the memory, though I don't think I "live" the memory in the dream at this point) Then, I'm at a house that looks like old home. Some part of recall is missing, weirdly I seem to have slept on the sofa and it's as if I was really asleep in the dream, for a time. I grab something I'd apparently left on the sofa. I see the old man from before and say "morning" to him. I feel a little disoriented and think to myself that I didn't mean to fall asleep and yet I did somehow. Then, I'm at an ALDI with H. We drove in in a sporty car. We pretend we're only friends and H says to a checkout person he has to get a massage coupon thing for his partner. The person at the checkout asks "what would she like?" and meanwhile I'm looking for three two-litre bottles of some soft drink, though I can only find one bottle. This ALDI feels more like a tiny service station shop and I think to myself we should have gone to our usual place. (This segment had something to do with the previous one, but I could not retain recall of what or how) (recall gap) Something about playing a game with a demon, and needing to do this to release an angel or something. The game doesn't make much sense at all and I can't think of how to describe it; in any case I struggle with this game in the dream. This takes place at some big/vast house, or some kind of palace. Notes: - Although I'd normally make this dream only visible to myself and DV contacts and so on, I feel that part of me has done that far too often of late, out of some sense of lack of confidence, an aspect I've been struggling with (again) in waking life. - This entire dream was very peculiar. I feel I could make this remark about so many dreams. In particular however, this dream felt especially switched on in terms of symbolic representation. When recalling the dream, it feels like some part of me was aware of this. Everything about it feels organised and metaphorical in a deeper way than usual, though I think some of it may be inexpressible through words. The dream itself in parts felt like one of those dreams that feels just like life in the sense of "this is how things are, this is my life". This dream would benefit greatly from a fuller exploration on paper that is not constrained to words alone and that can make directed (lines/arrows) associative links between elements. - I suspect that dad was representative of false expectations in some sense, because in the dream my embarrassment and the sex toy context were in fact irrelevant to our conversation about whatever else dad talked about. I am not certain what the significance of that desk specifically might be, but I must have been around 8 or 9 years of age when we had that desk, and the computer used communally with my siblings was on top of it, under one of the bunk beds. -- In a sense, the sex toys are also likely representative of the other side of false expectation; what my mind or feelings give importance to often has nothing to do with how others are perceiving me and if anything, I end up being bound or imprisoned by my own false notions of what others think. -- The other aspect to this is that family (represented by dad) are something that I keep entirely separate from sexual contexts as far as mental constructs go, I feel more so than most other people do, though that may be a result of upbringing; here, the two contexts meet but are essentially ignored by one another, as dad makes no remark and pays no mind, other than some sort of strange "tidying out of the way", and the toys themselves are inert objects that cannot on their own express anything except via context. This makes me think about how Jung defined libido as "psychic energy" as opposed to "sexual energy" as Freud probably did and it seems like the sex toys can also be representative of a transformation of my point of view on said energies. Again, I cannot fully form thoughts on this via text alone, this requires diagrammatic and drawn exploration that can show links and associations in a way that text can't. - The flooded school bit was odd because of how vivid it felt in terms of sensations, regarding swimming and water. I don't remember any specific emotions, but the school was an unknown place that I've never visited and which only vaguely conformed to some constructs of schools, none of which I've ever encountered myself. - I can't help but feel that I associate the encounters with water in this dream as being some kind of metaphor relating to collectives, more so than an unconsciousness. In a sense, the stairs were exactly about this; I can leave a collective but on the way up and out, there's actually no way out, and all I can see again is the collective, despite whatever other aspiration I might have had. There was a (somehow neutral) sense of hopelessness to this in the dream. - The strange field feels like it was about my whole Self. The locals, i.e. my non-conscious elements, do their best to cultivate other non-conscious elements and so on (the plants) but they are constrained by what they can afford to do. I am not sure what "afford to do" could mean in a sense of personality. The land felt inhospitable to cultivation and taming, and perhaps these non-conscious elements actively taking part in growing and tending to things, are actually unwelcome by the rest of the unconscious landscape. I am checking in on them, but I seem to be there in a capacity that cannot act or make changes to the situation at present, and that any changes would have to be future, such as based on a report or the like. -- In a sense, the plants felt very much foreign to the land as I did, even if the locals themselves just seemed... Well, local. - Despite the small size, the lizard felt instantly appealing to look at, to be interested in. The black scaled body felt immediately relatable to what I have wanted to portray in my alter-ego for some time. The chevron striped pattern seemed unique to me. And in some sense I always find myself relating to reptiles though I have seldom spent time near them, perhaps because they have a tendency to run away from humans and to be solitary, which may be part of the appeal in itself. The lizard's tail appeared dangerous but as the lizard was most likely not aggressive, it seemed like an aspect of self-defence only. Curiously, I am now recalling that the lizard seemed to be in shade rather than in sunlight, and it's the only wild animal I recall seeing in the dream. - The part with H at the service station ALDI definitely feels related to how perceptions are so based on physical appearances and how it's very difficult to move on from this, in cultural terms. - The game with the demon felt like some kind of mix between Tetris, cards and other games of chance. I really can't describe it, especially for how little visual recall I have left of it. I just remember a somewhat dark and red-hued room, and a cloth-draped table.
17th April 2022 Scraps: At old home, the shop underneath. I'm talking to the old owner, T. Mom is at the shop too after a while? I look for some cereal but I either can't find what I want or it's all weirdly overpriced. Something about being in the kitchen at old home. A pizza that bakes for too long? I am distracted by something, and also need to take S for a walk. 23rd April 2022 Fragment: Half-game, half-real. I'm killing some secret cow level mobs in an area that makes me think of the old home cul-de-sac. Then, I'm talking to L about XP per mob, I say I can do 400XP per second or about 120 something K per minute. We then ask J (family friend) who's nearby at a doorframe, see what he thinks. (Rest of recall was lost. Recall was left too long.) 25th April 2022 ~5:00 Fragment: I am naked and H is here with me, probably naked as well. I have female genitals and H is inserting a sex toy. The sensations all feel very vivid and lifelike. (Left recall too long, couldn't muster enough will to make initial notes even though I intended to do so.)
15th April 2022 9:45 Dream: In a somewhat surreal place. Daytime. There are some platforms? Doesn't seem like there's anybody else around. (recall gap) I'm at a dinner or lunch. It's sunny and bright outside, it looks a bit cold actually. The room isn't very big for a dining room and looks kind of bare apart from the table which fits in lengthways with the room. The window is a bit like the ones we have at home, double-glazed I think. Mom, dad and sibling T are sat at the table and I think I take a seat or am already sitting down too. Then some people enter the room I think, a man in his sixties and one in his fourties; the younger man is the other's son and has a wife who is also in her fourties. All of them are naked from the waist down and have unusually large genitals, two or three times what should be average. The wife has male genitals too, of such a size though she's otherwise average and modest. She has a faded blonde-ish-ness and her hair is tied back. I see all of this while being sat down but they are standing up and talking to us. The couple sits down next to T. Dad is sitting to my left and the other "dad" is serving me bits of food. It looks like we're mostly having meat, possibly mostly charcuterie at that. My small plate has some paprika-ish looking meat and then the older man cuts me some of those thin and long ones. Dad steals it from my plate and then the other guy makes a mock complaint while serving me some more, sitting down himself afterwards. Not sure what happens next, short gap in recall. I'm in the bathroom now, with T? The bathroom has a big double-glazed window down to ankle level or so, with no frosting or anything. I need a wee and try to do something about it but I also watch outside and see a doing being walked just near the window. There are other houses with large front-yard gardens very much like this one, no fences. All grass is neatly mown. After something, we're all leaving for us to go somewhere else. For some reason however, I stay behind and I think I watch the outside some more. It's different now or I'm at a different window, and see a street sloping down. Cobbled? I see them all go down this street, I think the hosts are actually fully clothed by this point. Eventually, as they get just about out of view, I decide that I should come with them too. Another short gap in recall. Then, we're at some kind of restaurant-like place. There are large tables and we walk over to one with six seats ready, but which would have room for eight or more people. There are other people in the restaurant and they're just sitting there. They seem to be staring at us and smiling slightly, I feel a little observed I think. The older man from our host group asks me if I want any crackers and I say yes. It looks like he's made himself a cracker with peanut butter on it. T seems to think this is a bad idea. I don't care and want to eat something, I think after having drunk some Schweppes or something. I'm about to eat the cracker, but my alarm goes off and I wake up.
9th April 2022 9:30-9:45 Dream (disjointed): I'm in a little town-ish area. Flat with a few green spaces. It seems clear or sunny but dim too somehow, like nearing the end of the day, though not colour-wise? I go towards a small building thing. It's supposed to be like a little kiosk but for McDonald's, these two things don't really seem related, almost. I pick up some order from a young woman, reminds me of A, H's sister. My order is in a big but strong brown paper bag and I check it over quickly. It all seems fine and I have awareness of having ordered a few happy meals menus. I walk away from the building with the bag, towards some stone stairs bit. Here, there's some dream-generated or popular character, and sibling T. They're sitting and we are about to start getting things out of the bag so we can eat here, but I suggest we should go up the steps instead and eat at one of the white tables up there. We go to the tables and they sit down. I open the bag now and get everything out. However, there's only 1 menu, which T takes. I feel confused, and then annoyed, asking him why he didn't order menus for everyone (implied to have been the point) and as he eats a bagel from his menu, he looks at me and does that smug shrug. I feel annoyed and go back down the steps and to that kiosk building. I get annoyed once more, as the woman has shut the shutters to the shop and is probably gone by now too. In my head, I think something about it being 3PM. I open the door to the building, and inside it looks like old home, the downstairs kitchen. There's a pressure cooker on top of the hob and I open it, finding nothing inside despite some expectation otherwise. I feel generally disappointed and annoyed. (Rest of recall for this part was lost) (recall gap, a late part of the dream?) I'm in a street and sitting down, talking to an unshaven Irish man (strong accent). He's a train conductor, and I'm being informally interviewed to determine whether I'm a suitable passenger for the city train he drives. I see the train in the background, we're sort of on a platform for it and there are people waiting inside the train. The Irish man is Catholic and as he's smoking a cigarette, he remarks something like "... thank God I don't follow it all to the letter." I mention my own Catholic upbringing and he seems to quietly appreciate this. When he asks about my general behaviour, I also tell him I won't be misbehaving or loud or anything like that, and that I tend to be quiet and out of the way in general. After a bit more talking and some other questions I can't recall, he then seems satisfied with me and I can now be a passenger on his trains. I get in and there's something about seat assignment that should be happening, but because I'm new there is no seat assigned to me yet. Then, I have some discussion with the driver about this, while the train goes into a subterranean area. He says something about refitting or remodelling the train in a few stops/minutes. Some man gets annoyed with the driver as he overhears this. The man says that he's late as is and can't wait that long. Then, something about disembarking with most other passengers. The conductor is down on the floor? (recall gap, unknown chronology) Something about a cyber man and cyber woman. They have a discussion about some memory. A third and younger cyber man checks his own memory for the event in question and confirms witnessing the details as relayed by the older man. The woman was lying, apparently. It was something about a loom of wires, part of an arm, and how it had been lifted. (?) (recall gap, unknown time again) Walking in a town, overcast. My hands feel very noticeably calloused and/or rough and I think to myself that it's the tenth day or something. I think that they're almost done forming the needed callus.
28th of March 2022 (I may add some notes at one point, especially if I draw the monument) 6:00 or 7:00 Fragment: I am my alter ego but my dorsal scales are pointier, like my character N. I'm at some kind of fair or public event. Eventually after a bit of walking around, I come to a wooden bench, where mom and dad are sitting. They each move over to a side and as they sort of part, this dwarf man is revealed to be sitting there too. He has a miserable look. My parents don't even acknowledge that he's there at all. I do at first and try to sit next to him and between my parents. There's some dialogue, but recall was lost. Unknown Time Fragment: In space, sort of game-ish and like Sins of a Solar Empire and Stellaris, in that you have starlanes for travel between stars (haven't played either in a while but think about it on and off when I see them on the library). I'm travelling with someone else, we're each on our own ships. As we travel and spend a bit of time wandering in a star system, the star suddenly starts to go nova. So I tell the other person we need to warp out of here now, and we head to the edge of the system, getting out just in time and travelling across nearby stars and seeing the explosion from this point. (Scale is similar to Sins) Some other bit where I'm planning a star fortress load-out, Stellaris UI. And some other bit about managing something in a star system, possibly in sequence with the planning. 8:00 and onwards (order jumbled) Fragment: Climbing some eroded stone stairs. Some kind of natural or carved out limestone rock. Feels underground. As I go up the stairs, I leave behind random things, like statuettes of animals. There's also some animal following me? I don't feel attached to it however; it may be a bird. I remember an opening through which I can see a vast darkness but also underground "cliffs" and ravines. Maybe streaming water. The limestone has a beautiful creamy colour. Fragment: (Generally darker dream, both in lighting and mood) Dream streets, lots of people. Parts of the dream repeat themselves or I return to certain areas. The streets have shops, and there's a Japanese/neon-heavy feel. Something has a feel to it like Cybermancy. Some plot line about a group of people who are uploading themselves into a thing or collective. I am not especially interested or anything but I help them in some way and when they start getting persecuted by some assassins or something, I use a rifle, struggling on with it for a bit, until I realise I'm "missing a skill point" for it, which I then quickly put a point it. I aim at one of the assassin at point blank, as he aims at someone else with a firearm of his own. I shoot him in the head and he dies instantly. Then, twin female assassins (though not human) standing a few feet away and moving; I spot them and aim for the head, but miss my shot, hitting her in the back or chest, but she's not really harmed by the shot. She comes after me now and I apologise for not killing her with a single shot. I kneel, and expectantly wait for her to kill me. Something very Japanese in feel about this last bit. After I die, I think I return to a previous point in the dream and do other things, or differently. (recall gap?) Then, some place like L. I'm near a monument of some sort, in a large square, which in the dream I "know" about; there's a road around the monument? It's sort of rounded itself, but not at the front where the road is. It's clear and sunny and I think I'm with someone else at first, maybe family. The monument itself is a dream generated thing and the square reminds me more of France in some respects, although it definitely has the feel of L. I think there's an obelisk further away in the middle of the square. (I should draw this before I completely lose what little recall is left) Near the front of the monument and at head level, there's a wide gap that's not got much height to it, maybe two feet high in opening. Through it, I see some sunlight but mostly darkness, and this underplace seems to be full of dark earthy dirt and corpses, mostly skeletal I think, though I can't recall their state exactly. Then, as I circle around to the next corner, I climb some stairs. Up here, it's a relatively flat area which is a narrow-ish U shape. There are many stone benches, which are just part of the overall structure. Lavish and floral motifs, general renaissance or art nouveau aesthetics. The stone benches have fairly fancy cushions on them, of different and saturated-ish colours. People are touring and lazing about as in mostly any capitol-city style of a place. I head for a free seat at the bend/corner. The dream ends here, I feel just as something was about to happen. Edit: Somehow I had recorded the wrong date for this dream, corrected this now.
Updated 04-30-2022 at 01:45 PM by 95293
I'd like to make some notes on this but it's getting a bit late and long day tomorrow. 22nd March 2022 Fragment: Huge space battle. It feels like Freelancer but looks like EVE or just realistic. There's a Star Wars feel to the battle, overall. There are hundreds of different ship designs, both friendly and enemy, but it's mostly the friendlies that are very varied? Although it's in space, there's a large complex that dwarfs any ship and it has sloping structures with hard cornered/bevelled edges. Seems to be a case of holding position. Ships from our "side" keep going off in small waves and most of the time are just shot right as they exit the boundaries of the complex. But some of them are able to launch large numbers of crew assault modules toward enemy ships. Fragment: Something about dad and maybe a wooden ladder, that he carries or gives me? Think maybe dad is ill in some way? The location is dream generated. Maybe a flat of some kind, diffuse and warm daylight coming from a skylight above, giving the inside of the apartment a bright but very diffuse light mood. 26th March 2022 Fragment: At a place like old home, outside the little supermarket bit on that main street right outside the cul-de-sac. Except that the location is much higher up than it should be, like a plateau or mountain-top. Fairly clear weather, very thin clouds, consistent with an overall sunset context. Me and H are loading the van with other cars. Somehow, we can handle them by hand easily-ish and we put a VW estate of some kind in the back and maybe some other car. I comment on how we could almost fit three cars in the back of the van. Something about dad and his car maybe? Old water bottle to dispose of. In the dream, I have a memory of it being like ones we used to take on road trips. Then, something else with H and the van. Attaching some kind of trailer thing, a wooden cabinet kind of thing (Leslie cabinet type?). For some reason, H gets naked and gets inside it. We're indoors and somehow he's driving it away now. I help by holding the trailer up and such as we go down some stairs.
7th March 2022 Long dream again, but recall was left until the next day. Somewhat disjointed. Fragment (DFLN): I am in a place like L or old home. After something? I am returning to what is "home", where mom and dad live. It's different. The apartment building is shorter, maybe four floors, counting ground. Night time, sodium street lights. At one point I'm having a conversation with mom and asking her where dad is. I think to myself that I haven't seen him at all during the day and find this odd for some reason. On the approach to the building or perhaps later on, on a different return, I enter a ground level floor. It looks burnt out and dilapidated; I think I am entering through the back door. There are bums and vagabonds filling this room and it looks like it may have been a cafe or canteen. A man stands out here, he is supposed to be taking care of these people who are less fortunate and he doesn't really seem to care about them, mistreating them in some way, but I lost recall of details. I don't like how he's treating them and I think I get into an argument with the man, wanting to find some way in which I can help, also possibly berating him for not trying or caring. Later, in a different part of the same building or maybe in adjoining building, I'm in an entrance stairwell. It has a lot of natural light and may have glass walls in part. Something about the staircase seems wrong and dangerous. I go up and down the stairs. I eventually decide that they need to be changed. Each step needs to be longer and slightly shorter, for safety. I think I start a plan on paper or something on how to do it and then do some of the work. Rest of recall lost. 8th March 2022 I left recall too long and when I started typing the dream recall started fading too because of wakefulness. The dream was quite long and fairly vivid. Fragment (DFLN): Living through some kind of live-action/full feature GTA film. Certain bits are in 3D. Something else is half game-like, like an RPG. In terms of physical location, it seems a bit like L and old home in general. The layout is different and it's a ground floor instead. Something about Trevor (GTA V) being missing and when he isn't anymore, he complains about how his 3D wasn't "updated as much". Outside and through a window I can see several cars. Three range rovers and maybe a van or something of the sort. The range rovers are all different models and colours and all modern, too. I am more aware of myself as a character now compared to before. I'm naked for some reason. My cousin is here and she was managing something about the cars? Maybe on a computer? She's also tidying things. I need to go to the bathroom. It's like the one I used to use at old home but it seems bigger and the toilet is more in the middle of the room. I put down a navy-blue coloured plastic donut or ring on top of the toilet and sit to have a wee. This whole place seems dark inside, but it's very bright outside, too. (earlier?) RPG bit where I have a more reptilian form and also bigger than most other characters. I seem to have levelled enough that I can start some kind of transcendence feature, which seems to relate mostly to getting better abilities.
19th February 2022 Fragment: Some bit outside with childhood friend D. Unusually, he's sad or depressed, in an angry sort of way. There's a city road and cars, they seem abandoned? Later. In a school place with H; there's some Chinese children and we have to walk through this room where some of the children are, to get to the teacher's desk. We have to be careful because the room is somewhat packed. The teacher is male and speaks in English to us. 20th February 2022 Fragment: Something about factions and such. There's a sort of palatial and governmental-like building with guards, who tell me to take my boots off. In a certain part of the dream, playing soccer against my cousin T; we're both bare foot and she kicks me on the genitals as we're playing. It feels purposeful? I tell this lady supervising us that this isn't fair and that I would play better with my boots on anyway. This lady supervising is some sort of regional regent. There is no sense of a waking-world country being related to this place and its government. (later) In the kitchen. Putting something for H in the red thermos (the one from family). 22nd February 2022 ~6:00-10:00 Fragment (DFLN): In some kind of base or complex. The walls are plain concrete or metal and there's a dry-green tinge. There's only artificial lighting and I can't recall daylight at any point. I interact with other characters though I mostly only vaguely recall a segment on some kind of descending shaft with a stairwell or something. A group of assassins that I'm investigating or something? Following a trail perhaps. In this cylindrical shaft with the stairwell I find a katana with a gilded pattern both on the hilt and at the base of the blade, the edge may be gilded too. I discuss the blade with someone, a woman(?) nearby, as I inspect it. Fragment: Space. Going towards the edge of the galaxy with a fleet. I encounter a previously unknown race which sells or trades with us for some technology blueprints they have available, including blueprints for a battlecruiser, or perhaps a battleship. I see a HW-like user interface and accept the exchange. I remember thinking that it would be very helpful to have some extra firepower because of others with overwhelming numbers. Then, in a further region of space, further along towards the galaxy edge I think. Something about space or reality is distorted in this region. 26th February 2022 Scraps: Something about cotton buds; blue stalks, in a clear plastic tub, round? Notes: - I've recently been playing Homeworld, so that's probably part of why there was this theme in the last fragment. Though in the Homeworld games there's mostly a focus towards going towards the galaxy core, as there is in some other similarly themed sci-fi games. In the dream, there was more of a sense of exodus away from the central areas, which also relates partly with the Homeworld story. When I've recently played the game again, I gave the story a lot more thought than the first times I played the games, years ago. - It's curious that there was the theme with the assassins and the katana. I've recently had very vague thoughts about playing Divine Cybermancy again and I feel that the themes in that dream were partly intrusions from these thoughts. - The bit where I'm playing soccer with my cousin, I think we're both adults and it's like she's implied to be an agent for this unknown government. I think in the dream I had a more connected sense of what was what but if I did, I couldn't hold on to recall it after waking. - We were playing in a room and the whole thing felt like some kind of test. I imagine the low-blow has some kind of metaphorical meaning, anything relating to blows or hits to the area is a rare event in my dreams, and usually feels especially symbolic for some reason, perhaps in part due to its rarity too. There was also a sunset and cinematic-like feel, despite the fact I was myself in first-person.
Unfortunately, for one reason or another, I keep falling back on my backlog of dreams that I want to put up on this DJ. This is annoying me a bit so I better get back to catching up on myself. 2nd January 2022 Some in-line bracketed notes. Dream: I'm in a version of my current bedroom. The window is across the way from the bed, rather than being to a side. It's sunny and the curtains are open. There's a slightly portly man walking around the room, going on about what was discovered about pork meat, saying he should have known all along and that he was glad he didn't have too much of it in his life. I feel there's some irony considering his physical appearance. (at the time of this dream, I think I felt this had something to do with eating what I like while I can) (recall gap) Then, in a car outside with H. Again, sunny, clear and bright. We're talking? It's a busy place, in a cobbled street. Looks like certain areas in L. A scantily dressed woman waves at me with a smile from a third floor window. I wave back and say hi quietly, wondering why she was being so friendly, but further thinking that she probably just found me attractive. (not something I've ever thought about regarding someone looking at me) Other minor and random interactions in the scope of friendliness with other characters. Me and H talk a bit more. Then, I'm outside the car. I'm sort of standing at the midway point of a crossing that people are using. I'm still within talking distance of H and eventually we agree on something and I walk off. (much recall detail was lost, everything was fairly lively) (recall gap) Then, at a supermarket. I'm walking around trying to find something nice for us to have for lunch, even though some part of me remembers (false memory) making some sandwiches in buns. I end up finding a pastry aisle and I see some meat pasties which I'm interested in getting. I'm not sure where I should put them. I ask an attendant about bags or anything and she says "no, sorry" or something, and I realise that she doesn't actually speak much English. I walk back to the pastries area and eventually spot some paper bags cramped under something. Then, when I grab some they are actually cut out plastic bottles, though I don't realise this during the dream. I use two to find two meat pasties which are now in some slick plastic cases and stuff them in the bottles. While I'm walking about I see a load of people at an entrance door and then they're all looking around the aisle. I realise on some level they're students. (I woke up at some point and I remember falling asleep thinking about how I didn't realise I was dreaming with the previous night's dreams) 9th January 2022 Fragment: In old home kitchen. I grab off the counter some ten by ten printed canvas which is wrapped in heatshrink (clear?). On the canvas is a young man and a woman, they're sitting on a boat or something and there's water behind them. They're family somehow; my nephew/niece, but older? She's sitting and wearing a white dress and a broad white hat. She has golden loop earrings. He's standing and wearing something darker, black or navy. Everything in the painting is moving slightly, the waves are alive and the two are looking towards the point of view and smiling. (this dream was especially vivid in my mind at the time for a while and the idea of a canvas with moving imagery was very exciting at the time)
non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP At a future scenario that feels a lot like a Myizaki's movie. We have colonies in distant planets but there are also vintage looking people and cities on Earth. One of those planets looks similar to one I know from a sci-fi book I read as a kid. It has big whale like animals that swim in the atmosphere. For some reason a rebel faction starts a war and someone shoots at these animals accidentally. This plays on the news and everyone is shocked. This rebel group turned ludite and wants to destroy our civilization, but everyone else is pacifist and doesn't want this war at all. I am on this planet and I receive a notification that we're in danger and we need to gather at a sports stadium nearby that also doubles down as an evacution site. People sit on floating cocoons that serve as private balconies to watch the games, when there are sports events, but which are also emergency pods that can close and leave the planet to one of our colonies on other planets. While we wait for developments, they keep us entertained by projecting holographically a game that happened on some previous occasion. It is undistinguishable from reality. One of the persons in our coccoon is a kid that lived with the ludites but is pacifist so he left them. He doesn't know our tech, so he keeps asking questions. He asks how do we distingiuish something real from an hologram. I explain it isn't easy and it is almost like telling th difference between a dream and waking life, some people just have that ability and others have to train to recognize it. I am one of those with the natural ability. I also have heightened senses and can hear what other people can't. And as I say this, I do hear something dangerous approaching. I warn others and we fly the coccoons above the stadium and see a fleet of rebels attacking one of our ships and coming towards the stadium. Luckily there are guardian drones that sit on the perifery and shoot anything getting too close. But any way, our pods close and take off immediately. The drones recognize our pods and don't shoot us, instead they make a formation to protect us from any incoming threat and clear a path so we can leave the planet safely. With my dad's family side and my mom, all gathered at some house. It looks like my grandma's house but it is also different. The kitchen looks pretty much unaltered, but in the place of the pantry, there is a cabinet with a TV and a VCR and I am rewinding some tapes looking for some shows I supposedly recorded, but I can't find them. My uncle Fernando comes in and tells me to quit. My two aunts are sitting there, just observing me and say to him that this is important to me. But eventually I give up and we all gather in a living room. It looks like the dining and living room of my grandma's together, but on the wrong side of the hallway. People are all sitting around the room on chairs and sofas sitting against the walls. My cousin Cris is also there, but so are other people I never met. I feel like my current self, but I am myself as a kid and I am on the floor playing with dolls. I think my mom told the family that I am autistic, so they are all observing me and not asking me questions or mocking me as usual. But I also find strange that they don't ask any questions about the autism. I also brought my present cats along, so then I freak out when I notice someone leaving a window open. I go around checking all the windows and asking people to please keep the windows shut. I then spot a cat, that could be Ginga but looks different, jumping to a ledge of a window through which some family member is talking to someone outside. Fortunately the cat is wearing a vest and I manage to grab her by the vest on time and pull her back in. Then back in the living room by uncle Carlos also keeps a window just slightly open and I explain to him the cats can still escape through there and he gets pissed when I close it. Then I do another tour and check the bathroom. All is fine. My mom then comes by and says they are announcing on the news that the Health Minister is dead with covid19 and I am shocked. But my mom is even more shocked and I wonder if this will get her to finally go vaccinate. Then I follow an unknown lady going to a balcony on the back of the house, where I believe she is going to smoke and certainly open a window. Actually when we arrive there, the window is already open. I take a peak outside, we are strangely located on like a 10th floor and I see on a roof down below a black cat and a black and white cat which I can't tell if they are dead or alive. The black one looks like Cuscus, so I call for him and he gets up. Both cats are alive but stuck on that roof. He immediately tries to jump up, but it's too high, so I wonder what is he doing. Then I see there is a metal structure on the wall for putting little pots for plants and it forms some sort of ladder that is climbable. So he climbs it and when he is close enough he jumps into my arms. The other cat also managed to get out of the roof in the meantime. So I take the black cat inside, not even yet sure if it is Cuscus, but I go look if there is another black cat in the house just to be sure. Then confusion ensues when some other guest arrives bringing some 3 other cats. I lose count of the cats. I tried to do a WILD. I focused on being aware as I fell sleep and almost immediately felt the rush of falling into sleep and the metallic noises of hypnagogia. When I open my dream eyes, I am in some scenario that looks like a hospital and I am meeting a friend who works there and another one who is being released or something. It feels like they are very familiar, like Riverstone and Nighthawk, but not looking like anyone I know and instead look like some american boys in their twenties. I also have a different look. And there is another girl in the group. I think the boys are a gay couple but I also love one of them. Anyway, once the one being discharged is with us, we all go walk down the street and I have kept my awareness all the way through, but just been watching everything unfold. The boy on the lead says something like "Where are we going?" or what is going on, and I use the chance to say that we are all dreaming and none of this is real. They react calmly and accepting. I suggest we just try to be mindful and rest in that awareness. So we all just sit on the floor and we meditate together. Whenever I feel the awareness fading, I focus on them and it really helps that they also look calm and focuse. I almost fall out of the dream a couple times, but I conjure some tokens with mantras and Buddha images and put them in front of us, saying we can look and touch them as a way to revive lucidity whenever it is starting to fail, and it works for some time, maybe more than I ever managed to stay lucid meditating. But eventually the dream fades and I feel my waking body. I don't move and I focus on getting back. I do go back but this time I land on a beach in what seems like ancient Mexico. There are some native ladies in their long skirts tending to some bonfires. I try to get back to my friends, but all that happens is that, like a mirage, a wall and a room within a room, appear to my right, where I can see the place we had just been sitting together, but I don't see them. I try to teleport there by just snapping my fingers and for a few seconds it works, but then I fall back to the beach. Tried again, wemt there a few more seconds and then fell bavk to the beach and the image of the wall and rooms disappear entirely and I can't seem able to summom it anymore. Then some kind of demon appears on the beach from behind the bonfires. It looks like an old womam with crazy hair walking on all fours and all the native ladies run away in fear. But the demon is after me. First I hide behind some shelter made with twigs sticking out from a pit in the sand. But she will eventually find me, so I decide to fight back instead. I fly a bit above the ground and wait for her to come. She has a kind of ax made of bones and I hope to snatch it from her and use it against her, but when we clash, in the middle of the struggle I just grab something else and hit her with it. Not sure what happened to the demon, because she dissapears and in her place come dozens of cave men figures running from all directions. Again I the mirage of wall with a door and I manage to cross it, landing on some backroom shit kind of place. that I feel I've seen before. It actually looks like a really nice office, but I sense a dark presence and know this is not a safe place. I try to cross it quickly, but all it's doors and windows just lead to more rooms. Until I spot a window to outside and focus strongly on it staying that way as I open it. And it does and I manage to reach the outside. Then I enter some normal dream in the time of Portuguese King Carlos I and the story is that he went on a balloon trip and had an accident due to bad weather and is lost in the countryside for 8 days until he gets back .
26th December 2021 Scraps: Some dream like FL. No recall of details. Fragment: Something with JF. He looks like his character? He acts rashly and impatiently, aggressive at first but we end up talking and getting along a bit. This seems to take place at old home. Outside at night, in the cul-de-sac car park, I'm walking to dad's old Scenic? And then I try to clean it, but it's now H's van and I just have a small jam jar type of thing to dump soapy water with. Somebody comes over, telling me off. This guy is being territorial about me being here and I try to reassure him and try to leave/get away. Then, inside the car with JC from school. Going out of the cul-de-sac but then JF is at the bottom of the end of the road (doing what? also normal size) and sort of forces us to reverse. JC struggles reaching the pedals (he still appears to be his younger self?) and I have to press the clutch for him a few times. Now at home, I'm in the balcony area past my siblings' rooms. Something happens here with JF and some discussion. My gladius? He says he knows all about its "frequency" or something. Then, discussing something about someone who modelled a sword and who worked at Blizzard, but was lost. Lost marines? (What did I mean here?) 29th December 2021 Scraps: Something in DII, I have reserved mana (GD intrusion), and I also find myself having too little mana anyway, even though it's at a value near 900. I have spare stat points I spend on Energy. Act 1 area, in the moors?
Some in-line notes. 23rd December 2021 Recall was left too long and could only retain vague fragments. Fragment: Something about being at old home, I'm in my room and it's sunny outside, though my curtains are drawn closed. They're the old white and yellow diamond curtains. I am moving towards my desk in the corner and feel the need to self-pleasure, but something makes it feel like I can't. Then, something about going for an appointment. I am briefly outside. The light in the dream seems off somehow, like there's too much shade despite being daytime and how sunny it is, but I don't realise any of this while dreaming. Something happens in regards to me going to the appointment or something, and then I'm home. (Did this scene happen first?) Fragment: I'm outdoors and I was in a car before. The place I'm in is a forest and I eventually go through a cave too. There's a relatively small female black bear character, which has something anthropomorphic about it. I want to kill it using a rifle, and kite the bear around all over the place, at one point the bear becomes enraged (like a game buff) and I have awareness that a single hit from the bear could kill me. (Similar feel to being the scout on DRG and kiting a dangerous enemy) Another half-anthro animal was involved in this at one point. 24th December 2021 Fragment: It's relatively bright but not exactly sunny. I'm in our bedroom with H, who's on the bed and then there's something that means I have to get up. At one point, we have an interaction with H's grandfather, who's apparently staying with us. (He passed away a couple of years ago, but it feels like yesterday) He knows about us sleeping in the same bed, and doesn't seem to mind.
5th December 2021 Fragment: Vague recall of being in my old bedroom. Dark, based on light, probably morning outside. My oldest sibling is at my computer playing some game. (recall gap) In some kind of hybrid space RTS/base defence thing. It doesn't feel like a game in the dream. Things go well at first, and then the attacking alien waves start to become much stronger. My fleet thing can't keep up and eventually things seem to sort of blend seamlessly into a big wide sort of control room. It's bright, and white-ish. The aliens are blue-grey or silvery and I remember checking their HP and realising that it's much higher than whenever I last checked it. (I am not sure why, but at the time of writing this, this made me think of Ender's Game) Then I start feeling like I'm alone and overwhelmed by the situation. The invaders become a mix of TCG units, but semi three dimensional. Some units have names that feel sexual? I get close to a "succubus zombie something" unit and it seems to just be the legs. Visually things don't make much sense. The legs are blue and have something like a mouth between them but I perceive this as female genitals during the dream. I stick my finger in the mouth and feel around inside. The teeth, lips and tongue look cartoonish, and are the normal "ideal" colours. 6th December 2021 Fragment: (left recall too long) Something about a boy I'm mentoring. I think I understand that I can't teach him everything at once and that the lessons I want to teach him aren't necessarily the ones that I can or should teach him right now. Dream location seems to be some mix of old home and an unknown place. It's dark? Abyssal? Certainly vast in some respect. 12th December 2021 Fragment: (recall left whole day) Something in a town, with H. Semi-detached houses. Then, something in a mall. Vast and open, orange and cream tones (sounds nice but don't have any visual recall anymore). Nobody is wearing a mask except for myself. I go down some stairs/escalator. I think I go past a food court? I leave the mall through a front entrance, I think. Eventually I'm back with H somewhere, and I comment on how "people 'down South' are careless" or something to that effect.
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