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I'm in the guest room downstairs with mom. I realize it is a dream and walk out. I look up at the sky and scream out "sky, take me with you!". Gravity is turned upside down for me and I accelerate towards the sky. There is a thick layer of clouds and gravity is centered by the layer. That makes it so that I first go upwards over the sky but slowly turn down to it again. When I hit the clouds on the way down I notice that the clouds have changed location and are right above the ground by my home. That makes it so that it is very foggy. I climb the gate and it is bigger than in reality. When I'm on top I fly away to town. I walk on the street and try to remember what I wanted to do in the dream. It's frustrating because I can't remember. I think about how I can ask my dream characters a joke. But since they are my unconsciousness they would know the answer if I told them a joke I knew the answer to. That's why I ask them a joke I don't know the answer to. "How did the cow and the wheat meat?", I ask a man. He seems confused and I tell him that I tell him the joke because he is a part of my mind. There are now three DC:s and they seem to accept that truth. I keep on walking and see a girl in my age. She is very prominent and start to talk with me. She is self independent and do as she likes. She is a bit shorter than me and we start to walk home to me. We talk a lot. When we come home we meet my cat Isa. The girl talks about a dog. After some time I leave home and fly away. As I fly over the gate gravity is changed again and I reach the clouds. I fall to the ground fast after I have touched the clouds. I remember that it was a long time since I opened a window to enter a new dream scene. I fly to a window that is transparent. I smash the window with my fist and succeed. I try to open the window but I'm not able to. A boy is inside and I ask him if he can take the key and open. He doesn't want to at first but as I struggle to come inside he says that he can fix it. He opens the window and I climb in. There is a big table and four old ladies enter. They ask me if I want to join them in dinner. I say okay and sit down by the table. They lay the table with tacos but they only have cucumber, tomatoes and corn which I find kind of dull. I start to eat and the flavor is mostly of cucumber. The lady next to me asks me if I can visit them again in a hostile tone. She reminds me a lot of my physics teacher now. I tell her that I can't because I'm only visiting this dream and won't be able to return. She pushes me harder and asks me if I don't want to visit them again. I stand up for myself and tell her that I don' want too. During the conversation she stood up from the chair and I had to back up as she came closer to me. I run for the window and try to fly out. She grabs me by the legs and holds me so that I hang from the window. She starts to swing me and tries to swing me back to their flat. As she is just to throw me in the dream becomes black.

Notes: I really have to train how to retain my memories from reality in the dream. A recurrent theme through my dreams are evil old ladies, I wonder why.

I'm laying on an air mattress on the floor and waiting for the other people to walk out of the room. I just want to be left alone. A leader, about 25 years old, comes to me and ask me how I'm doing. I tell him I'm okay but I hear that my voice is trembling and I feel that my face is getting red because of tears. I look down on the ground. He says that he don't think that I am okay. When he says that I feel how my head is getting warmer. It is getting very warm. He takes me outside and I only feel worse. I puke on the porch and he seems upset. It comes in two waves, first a small one, and then a big one. The puke is slimey and won't leave my mouth easily. I have to spit the last out.

Notes: I had a bad presentation yesterday.

I'm with dad and my brother on a restaurant/store. We buy some things and sit down by a table. Dad and my brother eat some kinds of pastries with chocolate. I want to be nice to the cashier and want to buy him something he can eat. I ask dad if it is okay and he says it's okay. I buy him a chocolate pastry but regret my decision, the strawberry pastry with whipped cream looked better.

Notes: It was the same strawberry pastry dad and I ate by risk 2:an.

24th April 2021

Fragment:

In a train station hub or maybe it's a subway. It's a vast place, made mostly out of concrete as far as I can remember. Either way, it's busy. I remember daylight shining through in places and I am walking in a tunnel of sorts with someone, maybe JoCo.

Fragment:

I'm in the kitchen, looking in the cupboard with the tinned and packaged food, I think? I notice some tortellini packs are missing most of the tortellini and they look vacuum packed. Some have like three or four bits of pasta at most and that's it. I feel annoyed that I somehow missed this detail at the shop and feel it'll be annoying to have to return these. I think to myself something like "they clearly aren't fit for having a full meal like this".

Note:

- Later the same day I think, I was talking to H about the second fragment and it was pointed out to me that the tortellini is always vacuum packed. I had not consciously realised this until that point.

I'm hiding in the pantry downstairs. I see the intruder through the door. The intruder open the door and I am pushed to the side. The intruder walks in to the kitchen again and I see that it is Hugh from class. They are pouring out honey in a big circular glass container. I to that later in the dream too.

I'm in the park next to Hemmakväll and look at some video tape from the same place. A person in the video from my class takes some yellow baseball bat looking sticks and puts them under the feet as the person tries to climb a stair. It is very hard but I don't see they do it, only as they start to climb and disappear. It is my turn on the tape and I fail too. Wencai has two golf clubs and walks on them instead. He succeeds. I feel defeated.

I'm listening to Stefan Löfven and Jimmy Åkesson. Löfven sympathizes with Åkesson and dad talks about politics and has the tone when he thinks I am wrong about something. Åkesson walks up and talks but all the people in the crowd dislike him.

I'm at Lidle and I pick an orange juice box from a shelf.

I'm walking to the chair in the TV-room and suddenly wake up. I am very confused because I think that I was just to sit down but now I lie in my bed.

Notes: It may have been a FA but I don't think so.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am coughing a lot. Feeling lots of mucus down my throat. I go to the bathroom and spit a lot of mucus out and then feel something coming out up my throat into my mouth and I grab it. Turns out it is some kind of worm and I have to pull it hard and I think I rip it apart and only get the head out. Disgusted and worried, I go to the doctor and while there I have another cough attack. I explain what's going on and the doctor mobilizes a couple nurses to help me with puke it all out to some container. I puke a lot of mucus again, but no more worms. The doctor analyses the worm that I brought in in a jar and says it is really just the end of a long tapeworm still inside me. He prescribes me a pill to kill the worm - although probably already dead without the head - and for my body to expel the rest of ot, but even the doctor isn't sure if that's gonna work.

I am with Riverstone at some foreign country to help a couple scientists who we know and are in trouble. The world thinks they are dead, but turns out they were just hiding. They are an old gay couple and look cartoonish, with big curly mustaches and strange shaped heads, also one is tall and thin as hell and the other is basically a dwarf. Thy also wear early 1900s clothing style. I have so many questions, but what matters is that they are ok. They have been staying in the house of a lady scientist, who gave them shelter. We meet them at some mall but then they take us to her house and when we arrive there, her kitchen floor is flooded with water. But apparently it is on purpose, she is fostering some odd looking ducklings and leaves the water running. She tells us on the phone that she has a drain under the cabinets that keeps draining the water so it doesn't go after a certain limit.
They then take us along with them to the university, where she is presenting the discovery they made that is the reason they went into hiding. Nobody in the audience knows what she is going to show. It's just some lecture about cell biology.
She basically shows microscopic videos inside cells and everyone is amazed at the quality of it, totally mind blowing. People want to know the technique. Then she points to some very small structures I have never seen in a cell and ask us all if we cab guess what that is. Riverstone jokes that it is the Instagram logo and in fact it looks like it. Nobody else seems to have a clue to what it is, but I do. I say "it is an eye!", to which she confirms it is in fact a synthetic microscopic eye that can be planted at the cellular level, is totally organic, functions like an organelle and can watch anything inside the human body at the cellular level, but also somehow sends out an input to a computer interface so that we can actually see what they see. Everybody is mind blown.

I go out to eat something with someone, but everything around is so expensive, we decide to go to a small fast food deli with good vegan burgers. One of the cooks is Beta, a lady that was one of my educators when I was a kid. She and a colleague are baking some delicious orange cakes and they get a bit annoyed when we order burgers and fries, like that was not on their plans. But they manage actually pretty fast. They ask if we want dessert to complete a menu and I say I want one of those orange cakes. They say no because it is some important order for someone to pick up and are not available to other costumers. I insist on just a small piece but Beta is adamant and very protective of her cakes so I settle for something else. I also notice somehow the cost of the menu is now 3x higher than what they said it would cost at first, but I don't say anything.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Some avant-garde show or ritual where some guy goes around defying the audience to dance inspired by what they are watching. Many on the audience seem to be professional dancers by the way they move. Then someone starts passing a lamb head as a prop. But the lamb head is alive and I feel horrified, but not like scared, but worried for the "animal". So I kidnap the lamb's head and run away with it. Take it to the vet and they say it needs surgery to survive. After we get some more info about the origin of the animal, the vets tell me I need to go to Africa and get something that will heal the animal. Once in Africa, in some remote village, I need to pass a door with two guards. I try seducing them, but they don't flinch. Then ask me for a million dollars to go in. I explain the situation and say it is to save an animal's life and they reduce to half a million, which is still ridiculous but I agree to and they let me in. I then steal whatever was inside the guarded house and return to the vet. The lamb is now able to get its surgery and regrow a body. Later I get a call from the vet saying the animal is doing great.

I married to some rich family, but I have this feeling I did it against my will and feel unhappy. I am walking with my family through some hipster area of old docks now turned into restaurants and bars. By the other side of the river I see Manhattan. I am walking ahead of them, making a little dance waving a white shawl in the air, feeling empty inside. Then I encounter Zilla by chance and she walks with me. She spots some vegan fast food and invites me to come along. I do and let go of whomever I was with before. Riverstone is there too and although it's mid morning, they both wanna eat lunch. At first I say they are crazy but then I give in to the idea and ask for an Impossible Burger. While we sit at a table, I get notified that I have an exam to renew my driving license renewal in a day or two and I panic because I wasn't aware and haven't studied shit.

I am dating Seth Rogen. I am half lucid, so at first I feel like "Why didn't I chose some hunkier guy to fool around with?". But he is extremely sweet and I actually start feeling the hots for him. We're sitting on a bed or couch, making out, and when I kiss him he gets really excited, in a very adorable innocent way that makes me want him more. He starts reaching out to his pants and I am totally into it. But then I notice that there is another bed to our side and two girls are sitting on it, watching us and that disturbs me. Worse, I spot a red demon under their bed and see that he is about to snatch one of the girls, so I jump to grab her and rescue her. The demon gets pissed and starts projecting long arms, claws and tentacles and weird heads coming from under the sheets, without ever leaving the bed area. I beat him as hard as I can until he kinda retreats and I sunk into the wall.

My mom is with her friend Paula. We are at an ice cream shop and I look for a vegan flavor. There is one for the stupid price of almost 25€. I complain a lot to the seller and he seems not to understand my complaint. Then I realize that's the price for a whole bucket of like 5 to 10 lt and I apologize and ask how much for a cone with a ball. I then follow my mom and Paula to a car. They didn't get ice cream so Paula is offering something else like crackers to my mom and ask if I want some to. Then we go get my dog Hachi and Paula goes get some other dog like animal on a leash to accompany us on a walk, but it is some dog-like alien with green body parts. I insist that she keeps a good distance from me and Hachi, because Hachi already reacts bad to other dogs, let alone alien dogs, but she keeps forgetting and getting to close for comfort. One time they almost get into a fight, so I give up on this walk and we take the dogs away. Later on I accompany them again to some kind of old garage where mom is talking to the owner and some guy offers us crackers and cheese. I am giving it a try when my Sensei enters the place. First he pretends not to see me while he talks to the rest of the people, clearly nervous about approaching me. I also pretend not to have seen him in the first seconds, but then gather courage and I say hi and give him a hug. He feels relieved and actually a bit overjoyed, so then he gropes my breast and pretends it is by accident, but I know it wasn't. I ask about the classes, he says it all stopped because of the pandemic, but that he misses it a lot. I say I do to. I wonder why he doesn't ask me why I left the classes way before the pandemic started.
Music starts playing, some Latino rhythms like salsa and he and everyone else start dancing. I don't want him to invite me to dance, so I leave through a back door into a backyard and I see my mom is already there with some new age "kumbaya" group. They seem harmless, so I let her be. Then they invite us to go on a boat trip and I start drifting from the dream. Probably had a very brief episode of FA and felt my bed shake like there was an earthquake, but that brought me back to the dream on the boat. I laugh and tell my mom that when the boat started the engines, it coincided with me feeling my bed in RL shaking and she laughs.

I am again semi-lucid, back on land at some ground floor mall at some private condominium, but the atmosphere is dark and heavy and I see no one around. I also feel watched by agents or demons whom I know to be present in the dream, ready to attack me. I walk through the corridors and sense a presence following me. I do evasive maneuvers until I find an exit and run around the building to try and see me stalker. It is some shady guy who disappears again. I see a lady walking away with the alien dog from Paula. I fly upwards to assess my surroundings and then land in some university campus, which I find lovely. Each faculty seems to have a theme, for instance, literature classes take place in a mini medieval village, where each house is a classroom and people gather around communal tables to debate topics, instead of facing a teacher. I walk a bit through the narrow streets, the houses are all ground level timber-framed and feel very cozy. At the end of one of the streets there is a bigger building, like and open hangar, but it is a tavern or bar, and the decoration changes completely. It is 60s and cinema inspired. It has the colors and the furniture typical from the 60s and posters of old spy movies on the walls. There is a door leading to the parking lot with a toll booth. A vintage car from the 50s just stopped at the booth and when I approach, a bunch of gangsters come out of it and point guns at me. Turns out I also have a gun and also drop it on them. For some reason they stand down and leave. My cat Yéti comes out of nowhere and I pick him up. Once on the normal city streets, I see my mom's apartment building or a very similar one, but with a few more balconies. I see the details like the tiles on the walls and feel extremely nostalgic about it, to see how detailed it is engraved in my memory. Then I fly upwards and take notice of the rest of the buildings around, think about getting beyond this and do something interesting. I fly higher and higher, until what I see below me is an African plain at sunset, as far as the eye can see. I feel free and relaxed, but my cat Yéti who I am still holding, is getting pretty nervous and wanting to jump, so I look for some place to drop him safely. There is a house floating in the air, no front wall for some reason, so I just go inside. I am planning on resting there for a while, see if Yéti can be left there safely, but the house starts tilting and everything in it slides through the open wall and falls into the void below us. Some old Asian lady comes in from another room, looking surprised to see me and in panic. I only have time to grab Yéti again and I jump into the void to fly away on my terms instead of falling.

I am in a room talking with BTS and I find them all very nice and smart people. I decide to become their fan and wonder if any of the guys in the band is single, so that I could hang out with. I sit between two of them and one, I think the youngest, immediately leans on my shoulder and gets really close. I was fantasizing about dating one of them, but all of a sudden I feel like he is pushing it a bit too much too soon, so I tell him nicely to back off amd take it easy. The others laugh.

I’m going through an In’N’Out drive through with Mom in the passenger’s seat and I think Makayla in the back. This one doesn’t look like any I’ve been to - it seems too small and dingy. The menu is also incredibly tiny and therefore hard to see, so it’s good that I know what we’ll want without having to look at it. I order Mom a #1 with a chocolate shake and myself a #4. *I’m still in the middle of ordering when I’m cut off and awakened by my alarm going off.




I’m either at a Grateful Dead show or watching a video of one. I’m mainly, or only, seeing a fairly young (mid 1970s?) Jerry and Phil. At one point I am so close that I can see their teeth in great detail, Phil’s being thick and wide and Jerry’s being tall and skinny. They are each singing and playing with vigor. The song seems fairly long and jammed out. Now, I am seeing a setlist, I think online. It has track times, so I see that indeed some songs got pretty long - around 16 minutes. At least one title I didn’t recognize, which is very uncommon, if it ever happens, for me.
*Listening to Furthur last night, I was thinking about Phil’s singing.

11th March 2021

Content in spoilers mostly due to length.

Spoiler for Fragment::

In a town that's an altered version of where we live now, but a mix of old home too.

The street where we live joins with a wider and busier street. H has left the car on the road of this street. It's daytime, before noon or so, shadows are slightly cast but it actually feels like early afternoon perhaps.

I get concerned about the car getting hit; it looks like dad's car, but I don't realise this at all in the dream. I don't think H is actually nearby but we're talking, as if he was next to me; not by phone or anything. And I ask him if he wants me to move the car for him, but he doesn't want me to because he's afraid of me hitting something, specifically when reversing, which I think I imagine doing. Imagination blends with regular dream reality?

Nearby, there's a store. I go in it for a reason I don't recall anymore. It's a mix of several types of shop, or also a cafe? I feel awkward because I'm not really making use of the services/shop and so eventually I want to get something. I want a milkshake. I am asked what I want in it and I say I want pineapple, mango and carrot.

(tiny recall gap)

Then, I am somehow shoulder deep, sort of lying down, in some ice inside a chest freezer. But I'm relaxed and don't feel cold at all. A white woman with ginger-ish hair, looking native to where we live, comes by and politely asks me if I want the carrot peeled or not. I say, I do, and she smiles compliantly as she goes outside my field of vision.

I then turn a bit and see she's peeling it with a knife. I perceive she's doing it in a way dangerous to herself (motion away from her) and so I tell her that she doesn't have to put herself at risk like that and that it'll be fine with the peel on, actually.

But she insists in peeling this carrot. I remember the knife was like an orange-coloured one we have in our kitchen, but this blade was a different shape, a bit curved and scimitar-like?

She had to stop as there was a big change now going on, of the staff shifts at this place. Lots of people came downstairs, many went out, many came in.

(recall gap)

Later I'm at a place that is like a converted industrial building. Like many other local buildings in the dream, it's mostly sandstone on the outside, but looks more regular/contemporary inside.

(at this point I turned my recall into scraps because I became distracted as I wrote notes)

I live at this place with H and my siblings. There's also a lady, maybe in her 40s or 50s, who's here with us too. She doesn't resemble anyone I know personally but in retrospect she's a bit like a mix of Cruella and Effie Trinket. This white and skinny lady wants a bathroom put in, because apparently there isn't one. I have no problem with this and think there's a spare room at the other side of the house, but actually there isn't, when I go check.

I go back with her and inspect the hall cupboards she'd mentioned initially as a potential location. I open the door to this cupboard/pantry room and it's huge. It'll be more than fine for a bathroom, I think.

In a corner, there's a bin bag. There's a strange pile of stuff that looks like decomposing organic matter and not unlike animal detritus... There are eggs on it, they are a pale and slightly off yellow-green colour.

The lady fiddles with the bin bag. From this organic pile and under the bag, bugs start to hatch and rats appear. First a few, then many. We end up leaving the house.

Some rats have green fur. Many are the size of a large dog, or bigger. All of these creatures swarm (seemingly) randomly through the town throughout the rest of the dream, but this aspect loses focus in the dream and becomes part of the background in some sense.

I end up meeting up with L and there's some aerial scripted camera view-event. He's playing a game and I remember a screen. There's a weird filmic transition.

Rest of recall is gone.

---

Spoiler for Notes::

- I ended up feeling this dream was quite personal in some ways but I don't think I'll restrict its viewing in this case.

- Maybe the most notable thing is that later this day I had an experience that seemed to relate to something which I ended up reading up on about defecation and rats, in one of my books about symbology. Although normally I don't ascribe a lot of direct value to pre-defined symbolisms like what I read, but it does seem to relate strongly to some aspect of my life. This is something that's part of a very old set of questions for me and its processing has been very slow, to the point where it's been very rare to have threshold moments like this one.

- It's possibly one of the very few times I've dreamt about rodents, if at all. I feel there was a big symbolic implication of (assumed) filth in that pile, as denoted by the eggs too. From another point of view, from such filth there is still life that thrives and is born of itself. On a more basic level I find this relates to a more basic interest in literally dirty things that I have no eagerness to become involved in while fully conscious.

- This dream has come after a few significant things, namely, artwork I've been making for someone, which involved a rodent, as well as discussing things about dirty stuff (again, in the most basic and literal sense) with H and basically forcing myself to challenge my own conscious attitudes of avoiding mess and filth and so on.
-- More importantly, recently I have found myself re-evaluating how I'm presenting myself and my artwork. I had created a separation not unlike what I have with DV and the rest of myself and instinct and intuition are telling me, or driving me, to tear this separation down in my artwork and to stop sharding myself in that respect; to become whole in some sense, with whatever consequences that may have. Oddly, this has also come after some unexpected discussion with L.

- I haven't had any dreams featuring bugs, and pests like this in general, for quite some time and in this dream I did not feel fear or disgust at any of these situations; some mild curiosity, if anything.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am in the middle of narrow old streets, like in Lisbon. I become lucid and decide to climb to a rooftop and see what's up there. I feel a bit of vertigo but tell myself that it's a dream and I can do anything and won't die, so why fear? I see distant rooftops lined up and decide to jump from one to the next and at the end try a bigger jump to a mountain top that is peeking in the back.
But when I land on the 3rd or 4th building, I go through the roof and end up at some storage room in a cellar. I can't see a door so I climb a wall full of shelves to swing from a rope hanging in the ceiling, so I go against the wall to break it. I end up in a back storage full of fruits, veggies and cake deliciousness. I gobble up a bunch of yummy stuff and then taste some exotic fruits. It becomes a sensuous experience, so I end up rubbing a papaya in my body and the sensation of the fleshy pulp in my nether regions makes me orgasm. Then I wake up.
I fall asleep again and go back to same cellar. This time I meet a familiar face but can't really point out whom. He complains about all the destruction I caused and I argue we're dreaming so it doesn't matter. But this person is not convinced and complains he will have to do all the work once I leave. I wonder out loud if dream characters go on living in their universes after we exit the dream and then I feel compassion for him if he really has to go through cleaning my mess. He asks me to follow him and he crosses a wall like a dreamer would. I am surprised by don't want to follow him. Instead I cross it to the street and meet two other characters outside, but when try to engage with them I wake up again.

I'm in a restaurant and ordering some hamburgers. I get the food but notice that I didn't get that much. I find a hamburger on the floor and I inspect it. I am really hungry.

I'm in an amusement park with water under it. I climb some ropes with my cousins H who are also there. I try to be faster since my cousins are fast. There is a mad man on the other side that is throwing things at us. I try to dodge them and succeed. I climb on a long rope to the other end of the water and sense that I should jump in the water at a specific place. I jump in and get some sensations and see the mad man screaming that we defeated him. William also Jumps in and he gets the same reaction that I got. I tell him that it probably is our grandfather's blood that made us capable of doing this. I keep on swimming in the water.

I had a lucid but woke up as soon as I got lucid. Maybe it was a FA now when I think about it.

12/22/20

I am in some shower house E is there, long hallway with multiple showers in it. Just about to get in one when the whole house jolts to the side. There are electric pulses running through the walls and the ceiling I gather the house has been hit by lightning it must be storming outside. We go outside and it is storming hard. We try to duck and I warn other people coming to the house to watch out for the lightning.

I am with my brother J. I gather we are in some kind of highschool/middle school combo, both have girlfriends our ages who are our companions. We venture around the school for a while then begin being chased by the security for some reason. I understand there is a terminator type character coming after us. We leave the property in different vehicles. He has a big blue van I end up driving later on. I have multiple sets of keys in my pocket. My companion is with me.

We go to a restaurant and know that we are wanted by the law. The other people in the restaurant are older folks who don't know who we are. We get a table and sit down to eat. After some time people start to become suspicious of us, there is a tv which is broadcasting our pictures and mentioning that we are being pursued.

I now have the blue van my brother was driving and he is no where to be seen. It is my companion and myself we narrowly escape as I fumble for the right set of keys to get the older van to start. It has blue carpet inside.

We are back at the school. It must be lunchtime so I stand in one of the lines to get food. There are only drinks at this line in a cooler on the ground. I keep pulling bottles out which have been drunk out of. I want chocolate milk and pull out a milk shake base which is melted in some kind of container. I don't have any money and gather everything here costs something. The lady at the register just gives me a drink after I pull a small carton of chocolate milk out. I walk around more and notice many different lines for people to get food but they are all different types of desserts. Like chocolate pies and candies and brownies and everything sugary. I ask someone if there is any actual food here and they seem surprised none of the lines have food ready. They tell someone else that we're down to chocolates and they need to prepare more. I find a line in a back room that has some old pizza on it. After I get a couple pieces and begin walking back to my table I notice more food starting to get brought out like dumplings and tacos of sorts. I shrug it off and continue back to my table.

Towards the end the whole thing feels like it has been a movie production of a sorts. Everyone is happy that the shooting has ended and just hanging around with that satisfied completed feeling. I see some kids who I thought were in middle school and I ask them what grade they are actually in, they say fifth and I am surprised the production used actual correct aged kids for their roles as middle schoolers. We are all walking in a line beside the building in a field back to the main area.

I am with my companion again and she is happy to be with me. As we are leaving the lot she shows her ID to the guard. He stands there looking at the ID suspiciously for a few seconds. Looking back to her and the ID, I ask him if he wants to take a picture and start to pull off. He reluctantly tosses the ID back towards our open window and I catch it with one hand. We pull off and start driving away, she tells me she is happy that I'm here, we hold hands while I have one hand on the steering wheel and the dream fades as we pull out to the main street.

Emma and her boyfriend are getting married. We are all at the small venue - a restaurant? - and I get the sense that we’ve travelled a ways for it. The interior is dim, carpeted, with darker wood. There is a mezzanine level with chairs at slot machines that have been turned to a stage on the ground level. I think some of Dad’s and Melissa’s family are here, and I’m sitting by Melissa’s mom. We’re looking at the single page menu that just seems to be a bunch of meats. We’re trying some and I like this certain salted one that I think I’ll order. I’m now up and walking around, looking at different things on the walls, and getting really close as if I don’t have any contacts in. I look at a very small beer menu right behind a table that a small family is sitting at. I’m awkwardly close to them, which they notice, and it also seems like I’m looking at them. I’m at a counter now where I think they are serving beer. There are a few options written on the counter surface and one middle-older aged guy serving. I look for a minute, then order the ESB, thinking it sounds good right now. For a moment I think it’s going to be a sandwich? but then he hands me a paper cup. It looks more like a latte or coffee drink. I try it and it’s good, tasting like a flat white with some kind of spice.

I am in or near downtown with Melissa and Brooke, going into a restaurant. The place is somewhat small and modern looking (sparse décor and a simple counter). The long counter is along the right hand wall, perpendicular to the doors. There are menus above the counter and then seating across from the counter. It’s fairly crowded and I don’t notice any masks (it almost feels like there is no need for it in the dream, as if it’s pre-Covid). We shuffle in and a man comes over to take our order. None of us are ready; he tells us to move somewhere else while we look?, I think to maintain some kind of social distancing. We’re now seated in a booth. I think I’m irritated at Melissa/the situation unjustly, because we weren’t ready. A larger, bald? server comes over and sits at our booth to take our order. Nobody seems ready, still. I sort of grumpily volunteer to go first. I had been thinking of a scotch that sounded good, but couldn’t think of the name. I thought it started with an ‘H’ and even googled ‘Scotch that starts with H’. I noticed Melissa glancing at my phone as I held it somewhat under the table. I never found out what I was thinking of. I tell him “I’ll have a scotch, please. Neat.” hoping he won’t ask which kind or planning to say McCallan 12 year. After a moment he says something like ‘I heard if you put some Amber in it, it’ll make it weak… like Sisolak’. I realize he heard ‘weak’ instead and nicely tell him ‘no, neat’. Melissa is now casually mentioning that Sam plans to break up with her tomorrow over text/FaceTime? She says she’s fine with it and sounds it too. She’s now telling me she got the job at a pizza place. I tell her I’m happy for her. I see a picture of a pizza divided into the 7 days and ask if she’ll have to work every day. She says no.

20th November 2020

Fragment:

In a place like a restaurant or something. Someone was talking to me and they were telling me how "mussels are the tastiest thing there is" or something. I remember thinking of, or seeing some clams and thinking that besides the meat within, there would be pearls of value or something.

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Notes:

- I remembered this fragment much later in the day while in a church. A stained glass I was looking towards for a while had pearls as a small detail in places and this triggered some vague visual recall of the dream.

- I remember after the dream and also after recalling this fragment, I did feel some sort of craving for the food in question; there was some sort of taste in the dream, it was meaty but I can't recall any more detail than that. I have never found this type food appealing before, but I have been curious about it, having possibly thought about it again recently.
-- My family, and most people where I'm from, do enjoy this type of food, but I have never wanted to taste it. Part of me thinks it can't be that different from snails and so I wonder now about similarities.

- It's possible that in the dream I thought about the pearls being a metaphor of some sort; when the recall came to me, this was my first feeling about them. I don't remember the pearls visually. Later on in the day I had disassociated thoughts about how it might be possible to modify the clams to create different pearls, or objects.

- Can't recall my reaction to being told that mussels are supposedly so tasty.