non-lucid

30th August 2020

7:20

Dream:

Last part mostly. Not too interested in full recall. Was walking around somewhere with someone, an old schoolmate, maybe C? We're talking about buildings for some reason and then there's no transition but we're in "China" and I see Chinese soldiers in what looks to be a kind of ceremonial uniform.

Covid times in the dream. But nobody is wearing a mask, not even myself or who I'm with. We're at some exhibit building and it involves going down a long set of stairs underground. People don't seem to be respecting distancing rules and through all of this I'm getting casual contact with random people and I'm touching my face, for some reason. I become concerned, but feel that because there's nothing I can do now, I just carry on.

Eventually we leave back up the stairs. Even the soldier and the attendants don't care about distancing and contact, this bothers me on a very basic level. My dad then appears at some point and complains about it all.

Some transition and then Deus Ex themes and fighting Paul Denton, but I'm still myself? Before all of this, I remember roaming cobble pavements late at night?

I make note of the fact that it's the past, I just have this knowledge in the dream somehow, something like the 60s? Don't know exactly but some cars have unusual UV headlights or something, because everything that's got white on it lights up bright because of the UV headlights when cars go past sometimes. I distinctly remember old-styled cars and lorries.

There's a dog walker at some point while I'm walking along the pavements; we try to avoid each other and I'm on the grass.

---

Notes:
- There was a very loose and casual link, I think, between the Chinese soldiers and Deus Ex, since there are several levels in the game that take place in China. It was also a game that I played back when I knew C.
- Dad's appearance seems to just be a reflection of some of my own thoughts but besides that his behaviour was mostly as I might expect it to be.
- The covid themes in this dream I think were mostly part of a subconscious digestion of my own processing of certain situations in waking life.

More catching up.

29th August 2020

~9:00

Dream:

Playing TF2 as Demo, don't remember for which team. Had the pipe bomb launcher, an RPG-7 too, but looked like the HL1 launcher...

Later on in the dream, after a very slim win of the match, by kills score alone (would have been a draw otherwise), I am walking around with old classmates. Unusually, I feel tired in the dream. Then I think about covid, and how we aren't wearing any masks or anything. I remember a concrete building I'm in? Lots of staircases maybe. But well lit, overall, high ceilings too.

The place outside looks like L. I walked out of some lobby place? I start to feel uncomfortable being so close to everyone else (because of covid), but nobody else seems to care.

As we're going down some cobbled steps, I notice a uniforms shop. The stairs are very wide and go down quite a distance, but this seems typical of L. The logo reminds me of UPS, same colour scheme but not shape? I think to myself "I can buy a labcoat there, later", having some follow-up feelings about not wanting to have classmates around me for that. But unfortunately, despite my very clear dream sign thought, I didn't remember to do a RC, I think because I didn't see a visual cue of the DS advertised or on display at the shop.

(relating to the feelings) I remember thinking that I didn't want to go in now since my classmates were around and I'd feel embarrassed. But I also think about how the shop looks closed anyway. Cloudy day? But not overcast?

Then further down along the stairs or whatever, on the left, there's a pair of black and bearded/old vagabonds, one having a cane or long stick. I think I woke up after this while still going down the cobble steps of the stairway. I remember a (typical) long green railing in the middle, but I think this colour isn't used anymore actually.

At the bottom of all the steps was a road cornering from the left to straight ahead, in terms relative to my own position. Squareish building on the bend across the road? Maybe quay or dock area further along. Visual recall is too poor after over a week since the dream now.

~9:12?

Trying to fall asleep again as WBTB. Slideshow of 80s style VANS shoes advert? No visual recall of this anymore.

~10:40

Fragment:

Return to the first dream theme, was with old classmates again. Sausage rolls and other such typical pastries. No visual recall that I can gather.

---

Notes:
- Although I didn't realise it, I suppose there's a semi-direct link between uniforms and TF2. I thought it was curious that TF2 showed up in dreaming, since I haven't played it for years, though I have had passing thoughts of it recently.
- Covid didn't start featuring in my dreams at all until recently, but I'm not entirely sure why yet.
- The thoughts about my artificial DS would have been enough to prompt a RC in waking life.
- The appearance of one of the vagabonds (to my recall) makes me think of some vagabond in the Matrix? Or some other stereotype appearance.
- Old classmates have been reappearing a fair bit lately, it had become an uncommon DS for a while but seems to be getting common again. Need to re-think about significance for waking life purposes.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I'm with some shady people in a dark room. There are some cigarettes I hold in my hand and a lady suddenly grabs one of them but I resist and try to take it back. The one she took has an iron cap at the end. As we struggle who should get the cigarette it breaks and all these glass like balls come out of it. One of the others in the room shout that it's diamonds and I start to quickly take as many as I can from the floor. The lady runs away because she has been exposed. The other people in the room doesn't pick the diamonds up, they are just happy that she got exposed. They don't seem shady any more.

Notes: I don't even smoke cigarettes, it's weird that I would like to have them. I also have a memory of another creepy lade that liked me from the same dream. I watched a movie about a creepy lady that was in love with a boy yesterday. That is why I dreamt about that.

I'm driving a car with dad next to me and two girls in the back seats about 11 years old. I'm driving by the road up to Wämö. They tell me that I don't drive that good and after they said that the steering wheel doesn't follow my directions anymore. I turn right but the car goes to the left and luckily there is a grass field before the opposite traffic starts so I have time to brake. There is a car that followed us up to the same spot we were.

Notes: I'm practicing car driving with dad IRL. I'm not that confident over my driving as this dream proves.

I'm by Det Röda Huset in Sturkö but it's surrounded by a big hedge except by the entrance. By the entrance there is a path that leads into the hedge. I walk in and come up to a forest inside the hedge, but it's a tight path that you can't walk from. There is a hindrance in front of me made out of sharp looking rose bushes. Half the dream I just dig and dig and dig in order clear the path. When I'm done dad and the two girls from the past dream joins me. We walk up the path and reach the end of the forest. When we come out we notice that we came back to the house. I think it was a weird forest that is hidden inside a hedge that leads nowhere. Suddenly I'm by the west side of the house and there are my church friends from Kristianstad. I remember Andre most. They are playing lol and we join them. There is a fight over the dragon and I manage to take it. After I take it we return to reality and me and my team (dad and the two girls) hurry to go to Det Röda Huset in order to eat the food so we can win(?).

Notes: When we were gaming it was like my vision was the computer screen, I never saw any computers there. I don't know why we had to eat the food to win. It seems so random.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I'm in Sturkö with my William, David and the rest of their family. There is a baby and I don't like it. It's about one year old and I tell Therese about the baby. I walk into the living room and the baby strangles me with its telekinesis.

I had another dream but I didn't have my tag book so I couldn't write it down and forgot it.

28th August 2020 DFLN

Fragment 8:30

Woke up unusually early (not needing to, at least) and from some kind of FA. I was in bed with H and I turned and there was a mantis/grasshopper thing on his pillow. I woke him up and alerted him to it.

Then I got up from bed as H was asking me to find his cheapo soldering iron to kill the bug with. It was skittering about and seemed smarter than an average bug. It was about the size of a ping-pong ball.

The bug then eventually appeared on top of the bed again and H tried to make it go away (by blowing at it?) and when he did, the soldering iron then just appeared (the red and white one) and he grabbed it and started whacking at the bug with it like a weird whip.

Semi-Lucid Fragment 9:30

In a strange (and even more) cluttered version of our home. I went downstairs to the kitchen, the tap was dripping (as it had been for a while) and I knocked my fist against it and a bunch of water splurted out.

I was then doing something but H was here and had to go, his dad was here to pick him up. I walk with them down some blue carpeted stairs? Awful railing/banister, far too high. There's some sunlight at some point, that I appreciate.

They leave and I come further down to close the front door, which is off its hinges. It's a big thick blue painted door made of actual wood, not exactly like our door actually is. Outside the doorway was a busy city street, like the capital of my native home.

Then as I'm faffing around with door, trying to get it back on its hinges, M (from MB) shows up. She's on a bike and so is her new boyfriend, which looks to be a bit of a nasty one, superficially.

She asks me how I'm doing and remarks I'm not looking so good. I notice that she's much thinner and she even mentions it herself. I congratulate her on her weight loss and give her a thumbs up as she cycles away, I think with a smile. Her mouth had been slavering like hell the whole time and her nose looked icky inside.

Then I'm slightly outside, still struggling with the door. But I realise I'm naked and think of going back in so the people in the street don't start staring at me. But then I say to myself "Hang on a minute, I'm naked, in a public street, with loads of people... But I'm dreaming." I become semi-lucid at this point and became increasingly aware of my real body, not managing to stay in the dream properly, especially as I started to become aroused for no reason, my real body just became too evident and so I just woke up

---

Notes:
- In the second dream, M's better outer appearance felt like a genuine message of self-improvement on her part, but now that I'm thinking about it, her icky nose/mouth context sort of suggests a rotten inside in some sense. In addition to that, she was together with a (seemingly) bad person, again.
- Oddly enough, I didn't remember the bit where she'd mentioned I wasn't looking so good but I don't remember feeling unwell in the dream.
- In the first fragment, I think I was naked, but there was nothing unusual about it since I'd just gotten out of bed in the FA; the bug would have been a good cue for a RC in that fragment.

26th August 2020 DFLN

Long dreams, poor recall because of noisy workers outside.

Fragment:

Remember being at my old best friends' house. His younger brother was there too, but was older?

I think I talked to my friend about my art. I thought about showing him some drawings, I remembered he used to draw a bit, including by tracing.

---

Notes:

- Back when we were actually friends, I considered tracing to be a "cheat", a notion I have dropped in recent years.

23rd August 2020: DFLN

24th August 2020 DFLN

Dream:

About classic WoW. On my gnome rogue, using a 100% riding horse. I'm in Winterspring? I fight some lions (but they don't look wintery/snowy like the local tigers should). In-line note: The night before this dream I had watched for the first time the trailer for the remake of Lion King, which I had heard of but not seen much about.

I'm Combat-specced, I think. There were other player characters nearby but I don't remember any interactions, mix of Horde and Alliance, I think. Then Hnk messages me as I'm going to the town, which is more realistic and I walk toward a little shop in one of the buildings.

Hnk was upset about guild recruiting. Some girl lied about something specific in the application to join? But apparently this was normal. I remember we messaged each other for a while, whilst I was still outside but in the middle of the town.

Then I'm in the shop. I remember eventually I stop making notice of the chat UI for a bit. The shop is like one of those little convenience stores where you buy newspapers, magazines and play lottos, etc. There's a lady who runs the shop, behind a counter. I just look around at first.

Something changes as I'm talking to Hnk via messages. Now, all of a sudden, the shop is full of "dirty" magazines. They are pretty much the only thing for sale here now, mostly featuring naked women with artificially bigger breasts. Most of them seem to be around my age. I find it all to be more distasteful than I normally would somehow. Then the lady at the counter complains to herself about how people keep going into the private areas at the back.

I sort of join in and comment that it's ridiculous, people should surely know not to go past the counter. The lady appreciates my understanding of her situation and then I approach and ask her about something. (What?) And then I remember that I was supposed to sort something out while I was here, but I forget what, so we both take guesses at what it could be, for a while. I remember closing my eyes and resting against the counter while I try to remember.

Eventually I "recall" that I needed to sort out some kind of prepayment card. For Hnk? But mom asked me to do it? The lady shows me a plastic plate/card with some information and I try to take a photo of it with my phone, which feels unusually big and unwieldy.

The dream ended shortly after, and there were other dreams but I couldn't recall them.

---

Notes:

- This dream features mixed parts of recent life (classic WoW) and parts of my late teens.
- In the dream, I vaguely recall having thoughts that although I found the magazines distasteful, they were this lady's business, so I made sure to not comment anything out loud about it to myself. This may be a partially direct message aimed at some part of me, using some role reversal as metaphor in the dream.
- The chat with Hnk was particularly long via whisper messages. I only wish I could have recalled more specific wordings or details.

- This dream felt nostalgic in a sense; WoW dreams are generally nostalgic anyway for me but they also tend to be novel, featuring adventures unique to myself and often in alternate versions of game locations or completely new areas. But the shop was reminiscent of when I would go to such shops to play the lottery in my late teens and I often did notice there were these types of lewd magazines at those shops; as I got older I felt like it became more common but maybe this was just a shift of my own perspective. Because of this, in a way, the dream felt nostalgic of how things were before everything started to feel sexualised in some sense.

Been having motivational issues around dreaming because of how mornings (and days in general) have been lately, but really need to finish catching up my DJ. Will also try to give this some relevant title...

22nd August 2020 (DFLN thread)

Dream:

Something about being in a town and visiting a cultural centre thing with a group of people, like a field trip (from how I remember them at school).

There were some little statuette things atop a doorway bit at the entrance of a museum area? The statuettes were the legacy of an Aztec culture that (in the dream) had existed in Europe until the 800s.

I remember some people in the group were old classmates of mine. Many of them were simply messing around and some of them got some chairs to try and reach up to the statuettes to touch them. The statues had some visual resemblance to football players? Or to table football figurines. The statuettes were very blocky and maybe made of some kind of painted terracotta.

I was completely uninterested in messing around like them and so went for a walk. I remember the inside of the museum looked dark, no lights were on inside since it was daytime. I think I went with one of the teachers around the area. There were gardens of some kind and it was sunny. There was a little artificial water feature, like a mini concrete pond.

Then I had walked a really long way. Eventually I'm jogging or running? And then there's a guy along the pavement and I sort of prompt him to race with me. It's night time now but bright from moonlight (I vaguely recall a sunset transition as I walked); we're in a suburban type of area, reminds me of North American suburbs.

I don't quite remember how, but eventually we're very high up, we climbed or ran up some thick steel cabling to get here. We're higher than some of the tallest buildings' rooftops in the area. This is some kind of construction site. Then a thunderstorm begins and this guy I raced with tells me about some villain he has to assassinate, like I'd earned his trust or something? I somehow have a focused zoom-view looking straight down from the girders we're on an I see what I can only describe as a convertible white limo. The villain steps out and he looks like King Pin.

I use some kind of oversized (comically?) rocket launcher, featuring a red colour scheme. I shoot straight down at the limo, I don't remember exactly what happened but the dream went on for a while, but at this point recall had faded too much.

---

Notes:

- The area the museum was in was very much like the areas around my old home, but more so of the town next over from mine (Bran).

Piano or forte?
In school, some classmate of me whose face I can't discern asks if, metaphorically, piano or forte would indicate something stronger, and I said forte.

Something else
It's blurry, but it might be at home.

---

More than yesterday.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

I'm downstairs and my cousins are there. Therese asks me if they can borrow a cheaper guitar that I am not afraid of to Oskar. I'm a little bit afraid that Oskar will destroy it but I say okey. I walk upstairs and hear someone play electric guitar. I look into the small room to the right when you walk from the TV-room upstairs to the stairs. Edvard has my guitar in an uncomfortable position due to the little space he has. There is also a drum kit there. There is another lady playing John Mayer music in the TV-room. My cousins come upstairs and are going to watch a movie. Suddenly I'm in my room with Signe. There are some other people there too. A girl I don't know and maybe Gabriel. Signe and I snuggle and sleep next to each other, it's really a blissful feeling. Later on she moves away but comes back only to put my head on her stomach as a resting place. Her stomach is comfortable. Both of us fall down the bed together. The other girl comes in and I ask her if she didn't watch the movie. She replied that she has a series that she's watching.

I'm by a beach but there is like a big pedestal we stand on and my other cousins are there. Gustav, Klaus, William and Peter are the ones I remember most. Gustav throws me into the water on the left side of the pedestal and I can't move. the water is like quicksand. When I reach the bottom of the water I am able to swim up with effort. I am really mad at Gustav because I think he knew that the water was like that. I throw Gustav in and he quickly swims up to the surface. I tell him that he can't do that to me but he says that he had no bad intentions and that the water is perfectly fine. Suddenly we all are by the water and Hans is also there. He holds in my body and puts it under the water so that I can't breathe. It's some kind of game we are playing. I think that he will drag me up to the surface soon but I'm still worried that he might not. After some seconds he takes me back to the surface.

Morning of September 8, 2020. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,622-02. Reading time: 4 min 18 sec.



I instinctually summon imaginary kinaesthesia to vivify and sustain my dreaming experience. It is crucial to comprehend that this process is not symbolic, interpretable, or influenced by waking life but is a deliberate attempt to become more immersed in my dream. (Summoning imaginary kinaesthesia means instinctually directing the vestibular system ambiguity resulting from the lack of viable discernment of my physical body and its orientation while in dream sleep to favor the inward illusory side of this ambiguity to increase the illusion of movement and momentum. I have indulged in this practice since I was a toddler.)

I am also instinctually aware of Zsuzsanna sleeping close to me on my left. As a result, in my dream, she is sitting on my left in what first seems like a small open train but soon becomes a car on a roller coaster. There are no other roller coaster cars or people. (Meanwhile, Zsuzsanna is dreaming of being on a train, intimating we are in the same stage of dreaming, not necessarily transpersonal as it is a fundamental process.)

My dream vivifies with realistic movement (correlating with my imaginary physicality) as we ride the roller coaster. I see its unusual structures ahead, but I remain unconcerned, and our ride is smooth. The landscape is similar to that along West Avenue North in La Crosse. I realize that the ride will take us to a resort that features a beach. This factor is an instinctual summoning of melatonin mediation. Water exemplifies the illusory essence and nuances of sleep. (Meanwhile, Zsuzsanna continues in the same dreaming stage. However, in her dream, she remains on the train. Rain starts to come in because of a leak in the roof.)

At the unfamiliar resort, the beach is suddenly an indoor feature after the typical indoor-outdoor ambiguity of this dreaming mode begins but favors the indoor factor. It is now more like a big indoor swimming pool. Our oldest son is now with us (even though he did not travel here with us), but he is only about ten years old. (There is no recall of our other four children at this point.) He cheerfully jumps into the water. Several other people are swimming while I sit with my legs hanging over the edge of the pool and sarcastically complain about there being no beach. At this point, because of sustained virtual melatonin mediation, I become aware our son is not resurfacing. I soon see him below the water’s surface and pull him up, and he seems to be unconscious (instinctual awareness I am sleeping). He recovers and complains about a man grabbing him underwater and doing something to his face.

Zsuzsanna, our son, and I walk down a hall as I complain about the place and the man who may have hurt our son. A sleep-wake manager (also the manager of the resort) comes to us with another unknown male and states how he removed a small stick from our son’s nose and also intended to bring him up to the surface. Even so, I am annoyed that such a business would allow debris where people are swimming.

In the next scene, Zsuzsanna, our son, and I are in a small room with windows encompassing three sides and benches attached to three walls. We watch an unrealistically large shark swimming around, though it does not bump the glass or pose a threat. The height of its head is higher than the windows when it is closest. (This scene was directly influenced by “Underwater” from 2020, though in the movie, it was people watching a giant fictitious oceanic creature through a window. Despite the influence, it correlates with precursory liminality that I informally call wall mediation, instinctual awareness of the concurrent division between imaginary dream space and potential waking space.)

At a service counter, I become annoyed when the manager gives us complimentary bowls of ice cream. I knock them to the floor, as I do not want to spend any more time here, and end up leaving on my own with less of my waking-life identity. I climb up the roller coaster and attempt to ride a car back home (mistakenly perceived as Northside La Crosse, where I have not been in waking life since 1994). Even though my dream exponentially vivifies at this point, it also transitions to the emergence side of physicality and kinaesthesia. It now seems I am on a mechanic’s creeper (instead of a roller coaster car) and trying to move through a small wooden tunnel, feet first while on my back. (This type of dream state process occurs when precursory liminality becomes predominant in that I am then liminally aware of my physical body being immobile and beyond my control while sleeping. At this point, I am also instinctually aware of my sleeping position, which is mostly on my back.) I think about the unusual restrictions of the design and consider how men of a bigger size than me could not use the transportation at all. Even so, it seems likely that I will not be able to continue comfortably.

I decide to teleport (with only vague myoclonus). I am suddenly in an unknown outdoor location in Northside La Crosse. Two people are present; an unfamiliar man and a woman (quantum model of Zsuzsanna). I tell the man that I teleported here. He seems puzzled and incredulous. I prove it to him by teleporting about six feet to the left of my present position with the sense of quickly blinking and becoming more aware of the dream state’s essence again. He cheerfully holds up his cell phone to film me in a conspiratorial manner, but I turn so that my face is out of range. I cause his cell phone to stop working. The screen cracks, and it displays what looks like an analogue television on an empty channel.

I explain that whatever I say happens. I summon somatosensory dynamics (to augment my dream self’s sense of touch), but with big diamonds rather than eggs or coins. I open my hand to reveal an unrealistically large diamond that I give to the man. I tell him it is only worth about $30,000.00. Other diamonds appear in my hand. I give the woman one.

In the last scene, she happily approaches me as I am leaving to remind me I had already given her a diamond on a previous day. She opens her hand to show me two large diamonds.

---

Had several false awakenings where I thought I was getting up early to get work done early in the morning, checked my phone and thought it was 8am but then woke up IRL later than that.

Dream was at the KC pool in the basketball/volleyball area except the slope down to the playground was much bigger. In the parking lot was a city, it was either dusk or dawn. I thought I was in my new apartment but going into another part of the building I realized it was a bar, people from my high school were there. We were catching up, it felt like the bar was closing and it was time to go home or maybe to another class in the city, I went out and tried to get into my apartment but it was just the bar now.

Now I'm at my old apartment driving to a club or bar, I go in but I'm not dressed appropriately, I try to go to the shower but a random kid is about to go in and use it so I sigh and turn around. Eventually I end up back there and I'm in line, abb is there and we greet each other, the bouncer asks me for my ID and I get out my wallet.

Show choir dream where I'm in a movie theater, we're doing dance moves but I don't really know them so I'm watching someone else. It's really messy. Another team goes onto the front stage and I think they aren't doing very well, they're ripping off a movie but I can't remember which.

Unspecific fragment
I remember standing in front of the door to the staircase connecting all flats of my house. Otherwise, I only remember wanting to remember the dream once I woke up since I recall that the dream was great.

---

I guess school killed recall.

Dream from September 7, 2020

It was the day before my brother-in-law, Steven, was to marry his fiance, Amanda. They were having a co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party at a multi-story, adult arcade. The managers even accommodated to everyone spending the night so no one would have to drink and drive. Also, because the ceremony and reception were being held there the next day in their beautiful outdoor event area.

My parents and sisters were invited to the festivities. Steven and my sister, Lisa, have a very brief history in real life. We all went camping and they got drunk and made out. In my dream, I saw Lisa and Steven flirting nearly all night. I was so upset and disgusted by them both because I really like Amanda.

At some point during the night, Amanda was informed that someone in her family had died and she had to leave for a few hours to go to the funeral. When she came back, I notice how sad she was. I also noticed that she wasn't acting like herself in the sense that she looked like she was high. My instinct knew it was pills to help her ease her heartache. I tried to find Steven because I knew it was important for him to be there to help her, but he kept evading me.

"Steve, I really need to talk to you," I said over and over again as he continued to walk away from me laughing.

"Steve, it's really important. Come on!" I insisted, but to no avail.

He was hanging out with one of his female friends. Weaving in and out of arcade games and pinball machines. She looked familiar from waking life, but I can't put my finger on who she was.

Finally, I yelled at him.

"Steven! Cut the shit! I need to talk to you about Amanda!" That seemed to get his attention enough to hear me out at least.

I told him that Amanda was high on pills, but he didn't believe me. While we were talking, Amanda came over to us and started hugging me tightly. She knew that I was looking out for her best interest and needed someone to console her who actually seemed to care about how she felt.

It is suddenly the next day and everyone is happy. I exit the arcade and go to the event area in the back of the building. It was such a beautiful venue. Vibrant, green, luscious grass. It was like an infinity pool, but for the grass. The back edge of the lawn just cut off to an equally green valley followed by equally green hills in the distance. The sky was bright blue with the fluffiest white clouds and the perfect amount of sun.

Some of the guests began to arrive and I noticed one group of people being loud and rowdy. One of them threw a large, empty wine bottle across the lawn followed by a lot of laughter. I tried to force them to clean up the mess.

"This is their big day and you're just going to litter and make a mess of this beautiful place?" I was so angry!

I found Amanda and told her what happened. I told her I tried, but they wouldn't clean up the mess.

"It's OK," she said. "They're reggae."

Dumbfounded, I could only assume this meant that she was fine with their lack of tidiness because people who are reggae are known to be dirty. I don't know. Then I woke up.

Dreams from September 3, 2020

For some reason, Curtis and I were living separately with our parents, but we were still married. He was suppose to move with me into my parents house on Silver Street, but decided it would be best if he stayed in Barnstead.

I was in a student in school. I'm not sure if it was high school or college, but I didn't want to go to my math class. This is bit of a reoccurring theme in school-related dreams. I'm enrolled in a math class, but I always skip the class because I have no desire to go to it.

I'm not sure where I was coming home from, but when I drove up to the house, there was splintered wood and debris in just our parking area from the construction crew working on the roof. I had nowhere to park so I parked in my landlord Greg's spot. It was his crew who left the mess so I didn't care if I took his parking spot. It was on-street parking anyway and he didn't own the street.

I remember wearing Curtis's green long sleeve Ponderosa shirt and really missing him. I also remember going to my bedroom at one point to change because I was hot and sweaty and I struggled to get the shirt off because it kept sticking from the sweat.

Lisa and Cassie, my sisters, were also living there and Lisa had a male friend visiting. I went into the kitchen and heard noises coming from the basement. I walked halfway down the basement stairs and peeked across the room to see a thick, green liquid flooding a ten foot section by the basement window. I went back upstairs and noticed that the back door in the kitchen was missing and covered in plastic. Greg had ordered the crew to move the back door about six feet to the left.

I had to go to the bathroom, but when I went in there, the toilet and floor around it was covered in wood shavings. There was also a golf-ball sized, drilled hole in the wall above the toilet -- the wall that was also shared with the exterior of the house. I went back into the living room and complained to Lisa, Cassie, and Lisa's friend. I went out back to knock on Greg's back door. Roxanne, his wife, answered and said that Greg wasn't home. She said she may be able to answer the question for me. I asked if the construction crew was supposed to clean up after themselves and she said no.

"It's like Aflac," she said. "We'd have to pay more for them to clean up." She walked away as she was still talking to me and I shouted thank you to her back.

I went back into the living room and they were all drinking coffee. I was sad there wasn't any for me and so I went into my room to try and call Curtis to complain. Lisa came storming after me and gave me $1.25. She was raising her voice and trying to force me to buy myself ice cream at the convenience store. I told her I was fine and didn't want ice cream or her money. She argued with me and eventually said how it's not fair that she eats healthy, but she's still getting fat like Cassie and me. I got really angry and started yelling at her. I said something along the lines of so you're upset with me for not wanting to eat ice cream because you're unhappy with your own weight. I kicked her out of my room, threw the $1.25 at her, and shut the door. I leaned on the door to make sure she couldn't come back in since I didn't have a lock on my door.

I tried to call Curtis again. We hadn't seen or spoken to each other in a week. I left a voicemail asking him to leave work early and to come pick me up. I was so upset and needed my husband. He never called back before I woke up. In my dream, it made me feel like he didn't want to be with me anymore.


Dream fragments:

1.) Thalia came up to visit. There was no COVID. I remember driving to her Airbnb. It was dark. I think we went to a mall because I remember shopping bags.

2.) Lisa and I were extras on the set of Supernatural. It was lunchtime and we were standing in line to get food. We were giggling about how hot Dean is and then realized he was standing right behind us. I blushed and asked him if he heard what I said. Assuming he would joke and tease, he was surprisingly cold and awkward. He insisted that he didn't hear anything and nor did he care.

3.) This is from the long dream or at least it was part of that same dream setting. The construction crew replaced the front door, but they didn't put a real lock on it. There was just a sliding lock on the inside of the door. I remember thinking to myself how would my parents be able to lock the door behind them when they leave for work each morning.