side notes

Some non-lucid stuff that I can remember from this morning. Only made note of the first dream in my initial morning notes.

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Dream:

I was with dad, I think at a mall. It was like the one close to home but it was different somehow, though I had the same sense of familiarity. We were walking through the large and bright halls and as we turned around a corner we stopped, because I spotted this shop that sold ice cream and other stuff, like some pastries typical of my country and cotton candy. I wanted some of these deep fried things they had, even though I didn't feel all that hungry. I think it was just because it's been so long I had any. Not sure what dad wanted, but ice cream I think.

We approached the counter and two other people were being served. There were two guys behind the counter too, so I thought one of them was available and I pointed at something and asked about it. Before there was any reply, dad said "let the other people get served first" but for some reason, in the dream's context I had the ability to snap my fingers to toggle how busy the dream location was. Doing this had a completely intuitive feel. I did snap my right hand's fingers and the people being served simply disappeared, as did many other people walking by around us.

Now I asked about the food thing again. He explained they were long deep fried "waffles". Some were flavoured banana, strawberry or vanilla, with the possibility of a crusty looking chocolate topping, although I think it was more like icing.

I asked for one of the vanilla waffle things. While I was being handed my waffle and then tasting it, I think dad was getting something for himself. The taste was somewhat overly sweet, and bland at the same time (dream characteristic which didn't phase me), but it didn't taste of vanilla very much at all. My problem with the taste however, was the texture, as I was expecting something nice and crunchy, but it was completely soft. I felt disappointed and the few bites I took made me feel full really quickly anyway. I don't remember what I did with it and I don't remember either of us paying.

Then we continued walking through the mall, but into a different section which wasn't as open or light. In fact it felt pretty dark despite there being lights on. We walked into a supermarket inside the mall and I remember wandering around looking for something, but I don't remember what anymore. Eventually, empty-handed I went to the checkout area. I'm not sure it was dad that was with me anymore at this point.

But at the checkout there was a couple, they were buying a desktop computer oddly enough and they wanted help from an attendant because the computer "weighs 24kg and we can't carry it", I thought to myself that despite my weakness, this couple was just being pathetic or lazy. I did think about the effort of carrying it all the way to their car in the parking sub-levels, but I also thought it wasn't really fair to ask the attendant to do that.

Then the man from the couple started being weird, handling the computer case with relative ease he swung it around and it hit the checkout counter, on which I was sat. For some reason I was just sat there and observing. As he did hit the counter with the case, the attendant didn't even flinch like she hadn't noticed. He did it again a few times, harder this time. Now the case was visibly damaged and warped. At first the damage seemed passable, but for whatever reason I was able to look inside; I quickly told them that the circuit boards were cracked because of the metal plates pushing in and that it was no good now. The man started being upset and demanding compensation or something. Again I didn't think this was fair and either I said or thought "you break it, you buy it". The attendant seemed to be handling it though, but it made me feel no respect for this man.

There was a transition then. I don't remember where I was now, but I had some kind of interface. I could select worlds or something?

Then I remember a cutscene of some kind, it was in space. I could see several planets in a star system, and before it happened I knew the star was about to explode, and it did, in a green supernova, the planets burning away in a green flame of sorts. Strangely enough in the dream it was like I already knew about this cutscene (but it's the first time I've seen/dreamt it) so I was using some camera control tools or something to see the scene from different angles than it would normally play through.

I don't remember much else from this dream other than some vague memories of night sky and stars.

Dream Fragment:

At my old home, in my old room. I think what brought this dream on was some thoughts I had before bed about how my old room's balcony has never felt safe, and how I always fear mom may slip some day, or that I may somehow feel compelled to jump out of it (in madness or some other irrational state).

It was a sort of night time, a twilight of some kind. I walked into the room a bit further and saw my sibling T in the balcony. He had a top on but was otherwise naked, this was odd and bothered me on some level but I ignored it and we talked about something. From the balcony, below, I could see my other sibling was arriving with S in a white smart car. Then the doorbell rang and I walked out of the room and went to answer it, I already knew it was going to be L and S but I still picked up the intercomm set and asked who it was. I felt like I was being like dad for doing this (even though I don't remember dad ever doing this type of thing). L replied at first and I asked "who?" because I couldn't understand, then S spoke and her voice made it clear who they were and I pressed the button to open the building door.

Dream Fragment:

Driving, or being driven? With H. Not sure what car, but the landscape and town was a mix of my native home areas and some other places. I enjoyed the view of the nearby mountains in the dream. I remember we went over a bridge or two and there were two towns next to each other. It was day time, but sort of dark despite everything looking bright? Like I was seeing everything through heavily tinted glass, but I don't think the car's glass was tinted at all.

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Notes:
- Last night as I had the thoughts about my old room and the balcony, I did think that it might cause me to have a dream about it. It's a shame I didn't take the opportunity to think about becoming lucid should it happen, as there were plenty of cues in that dream that could have resulted in some state of lucidity, but didn't. Keeping intention of noticing dream signs seems particularly poor for me, but I really think my sleep quality doesn't help.
- The thing with the dream-controlling finger snapping is typical of something my dad does in his non-lucid dreams too, so either that knowledge has created some kind of bias on me, or it's a trait that can be developed because of our personalities, or perhaps simply hereditary somehow. A point of note about it is that I play games a lot where "control" comes easily, so it may simply be a reflection of how there's a lot of self-agency in that type of context.
- The pastry type thing I wanted from the shop was more like a churro or something, but the thing I was given didn't really look like one. I actually remember they had some churro looking things locked up in a clear plastic chest that was hung on a wall on the customer side of the counter. I remember feeling like asking about it but like it would be too much bother to get one.

One fairly long dream at least, though I had others this was the most prominent on my mind after waking up and even so I didn't make note of all of it.

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Dream:

A sequence about Diablo 3. There was a new expansion for the game or something and they were finally continuing the prime evil storyline but the plot was still kind of convoluted and somehow involved time travel to go back to the time of creation of the evils. But then this angel said (to me and other characters?) that we'd have to go even further back than that. Passing thoughts about the creation of time.

I remember having an interface like in the game and quickly found out that something that had been changed was that you could now make any ability/rune combination use any element, as well as some other bonus I don't remember. Just shortly after changing some abilities, while I was looking through these things I think, a treasure goblin appeared and I chased after him. I was going to try using cleave and rend again (I typically always use weapon throw especially because of enemies like the goblins) but the goblin run just fast enough that small mistakes made me not able to catch up to him. At that moment I was immediately regretting having cleave as my primary ability instead of weapon throw.

Eventually he stopped to do one of his little scripted "look-around" animations and I caught up, quickly getting his health down to 1. This annoyed me because he was technically dead but the animation had to finish for him to properly die.

Then I swapped my abilities back and this time I was going to have weapon throw again but with a bleeding effect (literal in the dream but just general DoT) and with poison elemental damage. But I realised I wasn't sure what my most boosted element was so I tried to find the interface bit where it showed these values but somehow I'd completely forgotten where that was. I looked physically for it? And ended up finding it displayed somehow but also some electrolytic capacitors. I saw the poison was 400 and something % and decided that it was the strongest I had.

Some time later (transition?) I got on some sort of magical stone lift. Yellow beams of light were coming from underneath it, just where there were gaps between the lift and the surround it fit into. It was on a cliffside. I remember fog and a generally nightly and blueish atmosphere. Across from me was a portal, with purple fog coming out of it and I thought that should be the time portal. The lift started descending and I felt like it took me to the past somehow, or perhaps I was already in the past and I'd already come through the portal (portal potentially being the dream "explanation" of being here with no transition).

Down at the bottom was a cave of some sort, as I remember. Fairly light coloured stone, but dark in there.

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Notes:
- The bit with the goblin was a mix of places, like from Mephisto's lair in D2 and the invaded angelic towers from D3.
- In this bit I remember the camera/view angle was like in D3.
- The dream went on even after the cave at the bottom of the lift and while I did initially have recall of those parts of the dream, because I didn't make note of them in the morning, the recall beyond that point is completely gone now.
- This is the first D3 dream I remember having, but I'll have to go back through my previous notes and DJ entries to be sure.

Well, I've been dealing with some temptations lately. all I can say if Jamie can really sense these things... I really feel for her.

Had a few dreams that i can't recall now.

Lucid

Became lucid in my house and asuka was around. I asked her if she'd seen Jamie around. Asuka said: Yes but she's been hiding out in a parallel universe. Asuka holds up a mirror and I walk through it like a door. On the other side is a Giant mall. A bunch of people are walking around and they all look exactly the same. They look like Soji, from tar trek Picard... I ask one of them if she had seen Jamie, Ahe reluctantly said "yes." and started walking me down an aisle, butthen I woke up.

Other dreams were flashes so they don't really warrant titles.

I was laying in bed dosing off wondering about why I'm struggling with these temptations. I fall asleep into a micro dream and jesus is on the cross again and he says, "My son I am always with you."

Last sleep, I saw myself sleeping with someone who wasn't Jamie and i heard Jamie's voice as a voiceover, "No," Suddenly the girl under me vanished and I was suddenly outside and the girl's clothes were a heap on the ground. I saw text flash over the scene. "Jesus sent you this girl." Wasn't sure if the text was referring to the girl or jamie.

Okay in all history of having entities flash text prophetic messages in my dream, virtually none were true nor came to pass. So I don't trust it at all.

Two dreams from this morning.

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Dream:

Don't remember the start of the dream really but I was seeing some pictures in a news article, I think on a newspaper. It was about two men and a woman who had returned to Earth after being in outer space, and they were being praised for their survival.

It seemed odd because I thought this to be a fairly routine thing and there was no subtext of an accident having occurred or anything.

Spoiler for Possibly gorey/graphic:

Each one of the space crew was featured in a picture each; they were naked and in hospital beds; the first man had no lower half of his body, I remember some bloody or exposed bits, including on his face, the right side of it was like burned or torn off or something. The second man had no lower half either, I remember he had sort of short and blond wavey hair. His right arm was beside him, he was lying on his side but the arm didn't seem to be attached to his body, it just looked like it was chopped or sawn off and was left next to him. He wasn't dead but he seemed to be asleep?

Something in the article mentioned "liquifacted organ failure" about this man. I remember noticing in the picture there was a bloody and jelly-like substance under him, primarily where his hips would have been.

The woman had no lower half, either. But she was clearly conscious and smiling toward the camera, both arms stretching out either side and giving thumbs up, seemingly rather positive.

Dream Fragment:

I was in a town, don't know it from anywhere in waking life but it had the typical look of towns from my native country. It had a characteristic path that in the dream's context was commonplace for me to use. The path went up to and across a small water area that was quite deep, the only way to cross it was on some rickety wooden beams. The water looked murky but clear at the same time, and I wasn't afraid of falling in, finding myself much more concerned with the fact that I realised that recently the beams had been moved and had to be adjusted now before I could cross.

I saw an old lady across from the water, she was carrying some shopping home and didn't look my way, but I heard her muttering that she wished her grandma would stop moving the beams. I had a passing thought of asking her to confront her grandma so it wouldn't happen again, but I didn't.

The dream went on for a while but I don't remember any details apart from the fact that it had something to do with aunts from my mom's side and my siblings.

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Notes:
- The first dream was quite unusual in its content and my sense of location was more inside the pictures than where I actually was reading this article from. This morning was disrupted by loud construction work at 7AM so maybe that had something to do with it.
- The general plot of that dream may simply have come because I've been watching some medical dramas recently, although there has been nothing in them quite like this.
- I'm remembering that the second dream took place during day time but everything looked particularly grey and overcast.

So I was in one of these pubs\taverns where alcoholists go usually... my friend was there and I told him to get out of there cuz its a toxic place , but he insisted on staying and drinking more
then some alcoholic said something to me ,interfering
and thats when I had enough...why even hide my thoughts from anyone, I should say what I think.... I hate all these people ,all useless recluses ..
I told him to fuck off , then everyone else started to look at me , and then I was like yeah actually All of you can fuck off
and flipped the finger at everyone , everyone erupted , and then I left the place.
I thought I'd be attacked but nothing happened...

I woke up this morning with dream recall. I remembered only one thing and thought I should lay still longer to remember more and then I will write it down. This didn't work and its not the first time I'v done it. I will write things down as soon as I remember 1 piece. Writing this piece will get the writing going and help me continue on to writing more. Don't let me fool myself again tomorrow morning.

Really bad headache last night, but had some semi-lucid dream as I fell asleep. Haven't been making note of dreams very much in the last few days on account of going through a phase of being too tired on waking and too many mornings having their routines disrupted.

Edit: Somehow nearly forgot an important detail here; While I was in bed trying to fall asleep I did try to incubate dreams about working on my paintings again, my thoughts on this passed fairly early on and I got distracted with other thoughts, getting somewhat vivid music and other sleep cues instead but I suppose the lucid dream did relate directly to the incubation intent. I thought I'd try working on the incubation anyway because of my headache, and it did help to distract me from it.

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Lucid fragment (on falling asleep):

I didn't notice the transition from wakefulness to dream imagery but I was in a bigger version of our front room. It was day time, my paints and the table I keep them on were there and I remember the big window. I don't think the canvas I've been working on was there. I half realised I was dreaming and walked or ran forward into the room, towards the opposite wall, which is a corner where I keep a bunch of my stuff for painting, but in the dream context it's like there would be a door there or something, even though I couldn't see it yet; I carried out some hand checks as I moved even though I was already in a type of lucidity but the stability started to go pretty quickly and I lost my half-lucid state. Sort of faded away in terms of recall after that.

The only thing I remember after that is a gap of nothingness and then some dreams from the morning, that again I didn't turn into notes.

Dreams from 14th, 17th and 18th. Mostly just copied directly from any morning notes I made for each day. Some notes in-line with the entries.

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14th:

Dream Fragment:

First dream? Some Egyptian place, a big outdoor temple. I remember detailed stone and all the shapes I normally associate with ancient Egyptian architecture. I remember night time but also day time. It was a fairly long dream.

It was a game like world or something. I was Link from Legend of Zelda? I remember fighting winged obsidian statues (likely "borrowed" from WoW). I remember the feel of a controller in my hands though. Maybe a Gamecube or Nintendo 64 controller, but could have just been a Wii one, since the joysticks have remained fairly similar over the years.

Dream Fragment:

A dream I'd travelled to my native country but with my high school class, and some other classmates from childhood. I remember we were in a coastal area visiting something. I forget all the details. This black I knew, Milt, was messing around some exhibit area? And then we were burying smoe ancient and withered corpse that had not received any funereal service. We then surrounded him with rocks and then placed larger boulders on top of him. The corpse was on a small dirt incline, about 20 or 30 degrees steep.

Then I remember a room, indoors but nearby. It was dark inside, but I can't remember what happened there.

Dream Fragment:

Last dream that I woke up with, a WoW dream. Was playing rogue as usual and I was together with a raid group in Orgrimmar. We were in a different version of Thrall's throne room, it was more like a mix of Stormwind in a way because there was a lot of white stone and it was well lit.

We were all bunched up in a corner, waiting for Horde players to come. I remember we didn't want to attack Thrall until we'd dealt with most of the nuisance players that would appear. We had already attacked Thrall before? I remember feeling surprise at the fact that none of the Alliance players from the raid group were messing around.

17th:

Scraps:

Something about trains? Vaguely recall the dream took place outside and that it was day.

18th:

Dream:

The dream was a bit of a mix of Freelancer and other space games I've played over the years. I was avoiding some large blocky asteroids while flying a ship, and when I got clear of the asteroids I noticed a planet in the distance. I kept my course which was already on approach to it and noticed a gas cloud/small nebula formation appear. It was a green-ish dark mustard colour and mostly surrounded the planet. Like a smog coming off the planet.

I remember the descent down into the atmosphere in some detail. There was some virtual interface element somewhere that, combined with the structures I saw, made me understand that the planet was mostly covered by factories and dense cities comprised mostly of narrow but tall skyscrapers. It looked like most of the surface area was being maximised for industrial output space, not for living. I landed somewhere and went to a bar of sorts, typical of Freelancer-like gameplay.

People didn't look well off. There was a stereotypical North American "Trucker" feel to the place and there was an overall air that this entire place existed in a state of bare subsistence. I remember talking to some of these people but I don't remember exactly about what. It was night time both through the descent and while I was at the bar place.

Dream Fragment:

Some underground place, very well lit. There was a feel to the dream like some of the more dark and serious anime type stuff, such as full film-type productions. There were policemen with gas masks and they threw some sort of stunning gas grenades. I try to escape with two other people. We were doing a heist or something? The police looked like the Secreta from E.Y.E. but with typical blue and white colours instead of gold and black.

Some transition or outside? A rail track of some sort. The dream was quite long but I was a bit too tired and I've forgotten most details. I remember two groups of people, and Auron from FFX. There was some cart carriage thing that went on the rail track...

Chaos. Memorable moments. Lots of false awakenings, 3 LDs. No techniques used, just enough sleep after a short night before.

In the fourth sleep cycle (probably) I had a long dream of some action movie stuff. It wasn't lucid but there was an ever increasing underlying knowledge of being in a dream. When I was driving in a car in an obviously unrealistic setting (jumping across a large gap) it suddenly clicked and I felt lucidity setting in. I remembered to try rubbing my hands together to stabilize the dream and did so. Everything I was looking at got crystal clear and I got even more conscious, too. Maybe I was too aware because the dream ended shortly after. It was so short I'll not even count this as full lucid dream.

In the next sleep cycle I had another long non-lucid dream where I was at my old school. After some time I realized that it wasn't normal for cars driving around the school office and down the stairs (btw, what's going on with cars this night?!). I wasn't fully lucid up to now but as I went down the corridor my awareness increased. I went towards my former classroom and greeted some classmates on the way. All of them were very friendly which is rather rare amongst my DCs (when I'm lucid). In the classroom there were lots of people, a wild mix from different times of school, university and work. Most of them were no close friends or I didn't remember their names at all, so I looked out for more familiar faces. Turning around I found an old friend I've lost contact to since then. I went towards her and hugged her; she wouldn't let go for quite some time.
Then, I remembered that I planned to have some deeper conversations with DCs and - in this setting - I thought it would be a good idea to have a philosophy lesson next. The dream obeyed: one of my former philosophy teachers walked through the door (not the one I had expected but still). Sadly I never got to discuss anything there as I woke up.

I'm not sure how much time passed but eventually I found myself back in bed apparently awake but suspecting a false awakening. I did the nose pinch RC repeatedly but the results weren't clear, breathing was quite difficult. Then I noticed my mother standing in the room talking to me which was rather unlikely but no clear indication either. I needed to prove my dream state somehow and swung my arms forwards - they went right through her body. Now I could be sure and she disappeared.
I was walking towards my computer when everything changed all of a sudden. It's somewhat hard to describe but it felt as if I went through different dream settings one after the other at light speed. I couldn't notice any details as it changed too fast; they were just like three dimensional pictures raining on me or maybe I was travelling through these 'rooms'. Perhaps this is similar to what people experience when they talk about seeing their life flash before their eyes, I can't tell.
Anyway, I knew this would be a chance to dive deeper into my subconscious. After some moments my travel came to an end and I found myself standing on a deserted street. A female soldier was walking towards me in a resolute manner, holding something in her hand. I somehow knew what had to be done to go deeper: I had to die.
She got closer and I tried to remain as calm as possible as she stabbed me with the dagger in her hand. There was no pain, I simply sank to the ground. Suddenly I was back at my computer and it felt as if I was only playing a video game. But here I too got down onto the floor and died.
Then, I was back in bed. I RCed again, this time clearly indicating the false awakening, though moving my arm felt far too real. I was in a weird state of consciousness and so it was easy to let go and continue on my previous path. The surroundings changed and I was standing on top of a skyscraper. Once again I knew what to do: this time I had to jump down.
But I never got to do it as something else got in the way. With every step I took towards the abyss I felt more and more (sexually?) aroused. This has never happened before in a LD. It was an utterly primal feeling and in the end it got almost too intense. I woke up with my whole body tingling.

Jamie dreams

First thing is a dream about making out with jamie. Second is just us walking somewhere in a house or something and she's walking beside me and she seems happy. I miss the longer more detailed dreams about Jamie.

Living room.

i was in a living room with lots of people. We were watching tv or playing video games or something. A blond girl that seems familiar (maybe a co worker?!?!?) starts trying to kiss me and complains i've never made any moves on her. I say, "I'm just to shy unless a girl really lets me know." or something and we start kissing. I suddenly can't breathe while kissing her and i panic myself awake.

weird

Okay before this dream I was watching star trek Picard. I was dreaming a dream from soji's ( a character in the show) perspective. She was in a house or something and kept seeing oeople that looked like her out the window. The most startling was when she looked in a mirror and someone who sort of looked like her was in the mirror.

Crazy

A dream about the blond girl again... this time it was clearly my coworker. She seemed overly flirty or something and offered me a ride home from work, the only condition being was that she was going to spend hours visiting random guys. I said, no that's okay i have to be home sooner and I'll just take the bus, because I have to take care of my dog. to that she seemed overly offended, was really mad at me and stormed off.

She was taunting me throughout the dream. i was later on a mountain ina village or people on the side of the mountain. A bunch of people were possessed and acting evil, including the girl. we then somehow put them all on a truck and drove the truck off the cliff to kill them and the evil. I was still paranoid the evil was still lingering. Then the sane people lost their minds and started acting like zombies. then I woke up.

Unintentional WBTB of 2 hours after ~5 hours of sleep. Already expected this leading to a LD, didn't take long...
At first I had an annoying non-lucid dream in which I got more and more conscious over time. In the end I went kinda lucid while having breakfast with some family members in a gym, but I kept slipping in and out of the dream. As I was rather stressed out due to previous events I wanted to calm down and so I imagined the tea I was just drinking to have relaxing psychoactive properties. The effect hit me immediately and was way stronger than I had expected; I felt a huge shift in my awareness. I wonder what kind of chemicals my brain did release here.
Next, I was back in my bed and for some moments I can't say for sure what was real and what was not. When I felt our cat licking my left arm I realized I must already be dreaming because she couldn't be around. I got up and looked around, it was pitch dark so I decided to go outside. I wanted to leave trough the window/wall but - once again - things seemed solid, it even hurt a bit running against the wall... To convince myself of being in a dream (which I doubted after that) and to increase lucidity I RCed in the most mindful manner. It worked and I could successful jump out of the window. On the other side I somehow kept floating a metre above the ground. I just stayed up in the air and carefully flew around the garden outside. Looking down I realized how absurdly real my surroundings seemed once again, except that they were more colorful than in reality. I flew through some branches of a large tree and dove down onto the ground to pick some flowers. Then, I pondered what to do next - and felt the dream fading.

Had a lot of dreams this past night and while recall in itself was decent on waking, didn't make note of anything at the time because I felt too tired.

On a slightly different note, lately I have been continuing to try and incubate the dream about painting; but again not really had any luck with actually dreaming it yet. Last night I did try to add the visualisation of a guide-type character, such as the black lizard dream character or the researcher from a short story I wrote a little while back. I tried to visually include other characters first, such as people from waking life that might be related to painting in some way, but I ended up feeling like I wouldn't connect with them in a dream sense or that some of them would be uninteresting/cliche, which is why I ended up picking these characters from within myself.

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Scraps:


A lot of the dreams I had were about travelling, especially by plane. There was a relatively long dream sequence that had something to do with my old high school class and going on a school trip of some kind, but also something about me being famous in some sense?

In some form my high school class is related to painting, but the associative link is so deep that it goes beyond being related to just that. A lot of these dreams seemed to be more about the social aspect of life, and also about adventure in some sense.

Dreams from March 10th and 11th (today).

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10th:

Dream Sequence:

The last dream sequence started out with me playing a female gnome on WoW. Though I had rogue abilities my character's portrait indicated "level 49 warlock" when moused over. The character had a pointy dark purple hat and matching dress.

I used my stealth ability because I was in some distorted version of Tirisfal, mixed with Ashenvale, making me feel an imminent danger of being attacked by other players. I could see trolls riding around on raptors, a few level 60s but otherwise mostly around my own level. I was afraid that this approaching 60 hunter might spot me or become aware of me long enough to then start attacking but somehow, despite the level discrepancy, that didn't happen and I was able to get past him, down a natural slope with a path; as I did this the hunter was entering a dungeon with an entrance like Stratholme's service gate (the back entrance).

Then I saw other horde members, mostly between levels 17 and 29.

There was a river (more like Ashenvale this part), and this low level female orc warlock was swimming in the river, doing some quests by the looks of it. I realised I had a quest here too, to grab some dried up flowers floating in the water. I forget the item names now. Five items of one type, one of another, and some extra item that I already had on me anyway according to the quest log. While writing the initial note for this, my mind sort of suggested that the elf music from Ashenvale was playing, but I don't really remember that in the dream in itself. Probably the effect of a strong associative relationship between the dream's construct and the real memory archetype.

I got out of the water on the other bankside after collecting these items and I made the quest show me where to go. It started to display dashed paths on the parchment style user-interface map that the game has.

The paths it displayed were leading me through another quest first; there was this big, half hewn tree stump, here on this side of the river and inside it there were three sections where I had to speak to some kind of spirits? Doing this would activate something, and then when I was on the way to speak to the third one, I passed by an open area with bright light on it, not inside the tree stump area, but I had to go this way to go around to the third spirit.

In this brightly lit and grassy area, was a massive wooden frame, around a screen of sorts. An image appeared, symbols showing in sequence, once. First, a slightly rounded triangle, then a super simplified four-legged animal? And then, two other more complex symbols I can't describe or remember accurately.

After the symbols, a blonde girl, aged no more than ten or so I'd say, appeared on the screen. She was smiling and spoke to me directly, thanking me for finding her. She asked me a question, about myself, but I don't remember what it was. I do remember an interface popped up with some choices, three primary choices and an extra choice;

- "A sailorial heart."
- (I can't remember the second option.)
- "(Full control.)" :: This was the 'extra' option.
- "Full naval!"

For whatever reason, I felt that none were true to me at that time, except "full control", but I wasn't sure what it meant either.

Then, I could see my character from the girl's perspective; the character was giving the answer, but wasn't a female gnome anymore, but some sort of mix between Wolverine and something more feral.

I woke up soon after this.


11th:

Dream Fragment:

Diablo II. Playing a sorceress, or druid? Playing with H? Remember using the glacial spike spell.

Dream Fragment (part of a sequence continued in the next fragment):

Someone being racist about some fictional game races. Me and some girl investigate rumours and who it could be. We were part of some class on a tour or whatever. Susie from Miss Maizel was our teacher apparently. The girl with me accused Susie of being the racist. I defended her, saying Susie just thinks everyone is equally an ass. In the dream, I remember a dream memory about her giving food and being charitable, and I retell this to the girl.

Something happens, not sure what.

Near the end of my dream, I am aware that I had been wearing shorts; now I was changing into my camo shorts but they have a rip or hole on the front of the right leg, which I didn't realise until putting them on. But I want to change back to the previous ones and then I can't or something.

Dream Fragment (somehow related to previous):

Getting on some kind of cruise boat with H. We were the last two to get on board, even though many more people were still waiting and queued.

H carried on through some corridor. Everything was nicely carpeted and felt cozy I suppose. But then before I followed through, this girl appeared from the same corridor and she was saying she wanted to give up her place on the cruise to someone else, but a crew member (like a flight attendant but not?) stopped her. Apparently the girl was a windows svchost.exe process. I seemed to have some sort of meta-physical view of the dream reality but remember too little.

Then I remember being in our private quarters with H, unpacking or settling in. In the quarters there was some weird dedicated 8 volt and 19 volt power supply, apparently meant for modern turntables and cassette decks. We thought it was odd, and wasteful.

Dream:

With H in a city of some sort. Underground? Looks dirty and rusty. Waiting for this team of people to fit some modular concrete block things, with huge power cables coming out the back. Really heavy-duty looking stuff.

Someone shows up? Or there's a nun, but she's actually a shape-shifter. Turns into a black guy that looks like Zimos or Ruby Rod. He then pulls up two high calibre sawn-off shotguns. He shoots a bunch of people from this team and there's a small panic of sorts. Then more people come down from a ramp on the opposite side from where I was. The shape-shifter pretends to be one of them, but doesn't transform? And then he runs up the ramp to get away. Me and H follow.

H's van is up here, outside. It's night time and fairly dark, but there are street lights. We want to help the shape-shifter escape and grab him, trying to get him in the van. He doesn't want to get in though, and transforms into a white tiger, running off. We follow him closely, to a cake shop. He goes in and morphs into a chef but the other woman following him with the intent of catching him doesn't notice.

We then confront him, stopping him from getting away from us and ask him to come with us, reassuring him about safety.

Then H is no longer H and is a mix of Gibbs, Auron and Riddick, and then I'm not there anymore. There's a cut and I see a scene of telepathic dialogue between the shape-shifter and the other character. The shape-shifter mentions his "fury" and the other character asks the shifter if they know anything about his "Furya".

---

No notes, maybe some later.

Jamie dreams

forgot one from the previous week. It was a dream about me and her getting married. Well, honestly I think she'd rather go to her grave than talk to me again. So keep dreaming?

Other dreams were not good.In one dream she is visibly mad at me. In another one she is walking beside me outside at night sometime but not talking to me. In another dream I am tracking her in a large city and she is a completely different person with a new identy. She walks near me but pretends I don't exist. And i don't remember her this bad since early 2019. somethings wrong. I have no idea what, since she won't write me at all.

Youtube

Just a vague dream about meeting the people from the paranormal files again... No real details, just we were in some house exploring.


There were other longer dreams, but as usual, when I'm ready to write them down i forget everything

Dreams taken from phone memos from today and yesterday. Will try to arrange chronologically and make notes for each day separately.

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7th:

Dream Fragment:

There's a high school context to the dream. Vi from my class back then, he was walking around with me, near my old home. We were headed towards the main square or the subway?

In reality we'd never spoken a lot, but in the dream we were talking non-stop for some reason. I was telling him about a god of war? And about a dark goddess.

Not sure where this fits into the dream but I remember some other part, relating to this goddess. There are strange cliffs, rock looks sedimentary; and there are scattered graves but I don't remember what they look like anymore. I spoke to the dark goddess I think.

Other stuff happens in between and all I have left is a fragment from the end of the dream. I was gigantic and a ten story building was only about ankle height for me. I was running somewhere, taking long strides over cities and hills. I avoided excessively mountainous areas. It was quite sunny and clear.

Some areas were under mass floods, because of the dark goddess? Something about her being angry. There were craters or abysses which the water spiralled into.

Notes:

- The irony of the last part of this dream is that this is one of my current lucid challenges.
- I don't remember what I was wearing, or if I was wearing anything at all in the last part of the dream, but in the early parts of the dream I was wearing my old cream hoodie, except it had a front pocket thing, which it actually doesn't.
- I don't remember actually seeing this goddess in the dream, but I have an archetype appearance in mind visually, where she appears sort of half-naked and has somewhat messy but long black hair. Has red iris eyes.

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8th:

All sort of a continuous dream, but transitions and details are highly fragmented:

Inside some structural complex. My family is here, primarily siblings and parents. I remember L talking and showing me a few things around the place. I think this place was like a house L and S were building?

There's certainly lots of concrete to the structure, and some sort of carpeting thing going on. I remember a diffused sunlight from directly above. At this point I was in a concrete tunnel overhang with huge glass panes to the side. I could feel that the sunlight was coming from a diffusing rectangular skylight much higher up.

Then after seeing into a few different rooms and going a bit dark, there was a transition of some kind.

I was just outside the building I used to live in. It's daytime but not sure what the sky is like. Colours are semi-vivid. H is here in some form and I feel like I'm a small girl or something. I play around the cobbled area and then there's something about money. I was making 100 an hour by just moving some small 1kg bags of flour? But because there was limited demand, then I wasn't needed anymore, which made me disappointed.

Transition or cut.

Short sequence where me and H were about to play some board game. Not sure where we are, but indoors. Then all of a sudden, MB appears. I feel really apprehensive and tense, but oddly enough H is fine with his presence. I remember what I told mom some days ago in waking life, that we don't let MB hang out anymore, and yet here he is.

We play a test round of the board game and then I start putting it all away, in the hope he'll get the hint and go away. I am confused as to why H hasn't told him to go either. I feel on edge and like I could become aggressive.

Transition.

Some weird sort of library. Reality physics mixed with game-type physics. There's a very short farclip plane. H is here and talks to me about something. I remember a purple and orange haze and some bookshelves. I walk around somewhat disorientated. I remember going into a room that I could see clearly and there were rolled up bits of paper, or scrolls?

Transition again.

I was on the computer, looking at a reddit link from some support group forum for people with my illness. The reddit link had an embedded youtube video that had some furry characters on the preview.

The first line I remember either from reddit or the video description was "The inner drunkard voice of the characters we draw ghandara macrophylla". This doesn't fully make sense even in the dream and somehow I also feel the video will likely have someone with a really annoying voice, so I don't think I played it anyway. Passing thoughts about drawing.

Notes:

- I had to look up "ghandara", and the closest word I could find is "gandara", which means wetland(s) in Galician. Though it's a fairly familiar language, I didn't know this word specifically. "macrophylla" I know from plants, meaning large leaves or so. So that would make it "large leafed wetland" or something in a more literal sense, but it still doesn't link directly to the rest of the description text. I think in the dream the "macrophylla" was just a misspelling of "macrophilia" but it still doesn't explain the other random word.
- Perhaps the oddest thing about the video link was that I have neither used reddit nor any online support group for my illness in a long time. The rest of the fragment's context seems to relate more to the fact that I haven't been drawing lately, mostly because of how I've been feeling, but also to the natural feelings of jealousy that seem to crop up in me sometimes when the art of others is on show.
- In the weird haze library area, the purple and orange may have been a bit symbolic, as I associate purple to myself and orange to H, who was also there.
- When MB was playing this board game with us, he was being as irritating as ever, all the more reason I wanted him gone.
- Although I remember S was in the first part of the dream, I don't remember hearing her speak, which seems unlikely. That first part felt like the longest and the second part felt like the shortest.