side notes

Fell asleep at: 5:00 AM

Woke up at: 2:00 PM


Dream 114: A Totally Unassuming Cult

I seem to be a spectator to the dream. I am able to feel and move my dream body while the whole of my field of view is dominated by the dream.

The dream starts out in medias res; A twenty-year- old or so girl is seeking admission into a vaguely Christian cult, and is being interviewed by two recruiters, one an old man, and one around her age. At some point, she catches onto the fact that the people running the operation are a bunch of nutjobs and that their adherents are similarly sinister. She starts to back away from the conversation, but as she does so, two kids in a little play area start pointing and yelling at her. They say something along the lines of "Witch!" and "Heretic!"

She backs away even further, and bumps up against a waist-high bookshelf. At this point, the recruiters make no compunctions about harming her.

I (As the spectator) notice a ceramic globe on top of one of the bookshelves. I yell at the girl, "The atlas! Throw the atlas at them!" I mistakenly called the globe an "atlas!" She then chucks the globe at the old guy and he goes down like a ton of bricks. Now it's just her and the younger man. They stare down each other fiercely, and I am on the edge of my seat.

This goes on for a minute, and I got bored. I draw my attention away from the dream for a second, and then...

A newspaper clipping shows up, talking about how this same girl somehow joined the psycho cult anyway. I am flabbergasted, and I yell at the dream some more.

Good lord, HOW did I not go without posting for upwards of two years? Well, stuff happened, is all I'm going to say. So let's get into this.

Fell asleep at: 3:00 AM

Woke up: 12:15 PM


Dream 113: Old Faces

Daytime; My house. The in-laws have come over, and they brought their dogs with them. A dachshund, a terrier mix, and some others I can't remember. One of the dogs, wearing a grey shirt and orange/yellow suspenders walks into my room and jumps on top of me in my bed. I play with the little guy for a while, and one of the in-laws chimes and in says that that's actually the father of all these other dogs.

I say something along the lines of, "Well, he can do whoever he wants then--" then retract that statement and I say "That came out wrong."

As I'm playing with the dog, a female DC keeps tugging at his shirt collar, for whatever reason. The dog looks mighty uncomfortable when she does that, so I tell her to stop tugging at it. The dream ends not long after.

Upon further reflection, the dog in my dream looked remarkably like another dog I had, though that one passed away not two years ago. It was nice to play with the little fella again, even if it was just a dream.

Lucid but too short

It seems like I am walking through a park late at night in calgary. Something like Proncess island park because I am coming from a bridge. I get a sense that I'm dreaming almost instantly. Because it is night out, a blackness fills my field of vision. I begin touching the ground where some sand is immediately to try and incorporate my senses into the dream. It stabalizes momentarily but then I remember an old DV post, from someone who once prolonged a dream by trying to eat a tree. becuase that incorporates many physical sensastions such as touch, taste, smell, texture etc. I then remember i had passed a tree by the bridge earlier. I seemilngly teleport there and try to eat it but fade out before anything happens. Damn...

Hate this dream

This dream involved Jamie but she wasn't necessarily in it.. Started I was getting a visit from my brother and we were walking around houses or open markets or something. He's visiting in real life since i can't make my trip to the USA because of travel restrictions due to the pandemic... In the dream I ask if he's watched Star Trek Picard yet? He says no. I tell him I'll get yet another month of Crave so we can watch it while he visits. He says okay but he is grossed out by something and leaves.

It appears I am surrounded by Gay people having orgies... umm okay. everything is very graphic. It's also on computer monitors throughout the street or houses I am in. It makes sense as I run into an old co worker from 2011 Gil. Who i know IS gay. We are in a room with some women in it and he says he knows Jamie and runs into her occasionally, there's a place or street he goes to and he runs into her 1 in 3 times. I find it odd that he might know her. One of the women says, "Oh no your another guy she's used." implying i'm a long list of guys she has discarded. in Her condition is makes sense. people with BPD rarely settle down with anyone for long periods of time, so many embrace a more open lifestyle, of never sticking with anyone. She DID give the impression of a serial dater when I knew her. and stopped talking to me altogether years ago... I ask the woman if we are talking about the same Jamie and give her her full name. and she says, "yes, that's the one." Gil says again, "We can still try to run into her there's a 1 in 3 chance." I stand there and try to justify myself for a second of trying to hold onto her. Fact: She can't even manage a simple "hi," after years. I am forever discarded, Even of she reads my dreams she would never ever talk to me again, I would get a fraction of a second of a look once she realizes who I am, and completely shut down towards me.

I wake up while thinking all these things. This dream really bothered me for a few days after... and it actually kind of upsets me to write it down.

Jamie

Another fraction of a second dream whew i am walking with jamie, and she seems "normal," walking arm in arm. But that's all I get for the week.

OGRE

Scary dream. i am in a house filled with monster or something. I find a kitchen where a mad scientist works. I walk past a living room where a giant guy about 8 feet tall is cutting hair off a lamb and muttering to himself, "Ah yess so smooth will be your skin, like butter it will be to eat..." I am frightened by the scene and hid above a shelf in the kitchen. The scientist is walking back into the kitchen. So I dart out past the living room again. Now a whole heard of 30 or so sheep are in the living room getting their wool cut off from the same guy. His brother enters the room who is like 16 feet and i realize the soft sheep are for his brother. I wonder if he eats them alive. I don't stick around to find out. The dream ends as soon as I leave.

Jamie dreams

first one seems to be in direct response to a facebook dream i was having the previous week. In this dream Jamie is interacting with me on facebook, although the act is nice, she seems to have some attitude about it. doesn't come across very loving.

Second dream i am with her in high school. But she's too cool for school or even me for that matter. As she is too stuck up to even talk to me. She has a friend nearby who is an admirer and she says something like, "There's the most beautiful girl in the school, and then there's Her." Referring to jamie as if Jamie is above the rest.

Last dream we are in a field with some east indian girl. They find a bathroom or something whoch is their hangout. Jamie asks me to clean the entire bathroom for her. And I'm like, "No."

And quite frankly i'm not logging these dreams every week for her to play in a highschool popularity contest. Still miss my dream hugs.


floating

in this dream i am almost lucid. I'm in a room with a bunch of people and i start floating up and flying around. I start singing wierd al's Eat it, but with the pitch of michael jackson. The people below start staring at me.

Haunted

Me and someone are outside a bunch of abandoned houses looking for a haunted house. Seems to be the district close by that one dream i had with the black castle and the women demons who guarded it.

We go up to a house with a mirror. In the mirror is a scene of people in a house pretending to be ghosts. I remember the face of a girl of the family trying to make funny but spooky faces. I ask them where the haunted house is. They don't know. I ask if this is a haunted mirror. The pull out their own mirror and create a ghost lady that walks into their mirror. I can't tell if they mean a huanted mirror is something you can walk through to the other side in, or if they are inviting me to walk into their mirror?

We walk on and supposedly find the haunted house. We find a crawlspace inside which leads to... A large area something like a sears in a mall or something. There's all these women accompanied by really tall and pale men about 7-8 feet tall. I become semi lucid and begin to fly above them. I circle the area and fly up an escalator which has strange walls on the side. I become lucid for a moment and the dream fades.


FA, I'm in a room with Dara, The tarot card youtuber who deleted all her accounts and videos. I think she's jamie or something. She seems okay with me and i say she was mad but now she's cool. Dara looks at me perplexed and then shrugs whatver. i say it's cool like this to be just chill. she agrees.
work related

I'm at work when everyone becomes frightened. Dylan goes into the walk in freezer and discovers a dead girl's corpse in there. I begin hearing loud alien like Thwoms coming from the freezer. In a panic i go get changed to go home and leave. I'm having heart attack symptoms, it won't stop beating fast and i notice I'm really sweaty as I take off my shirt and look for the other one.

Scary

Im'm in some house and some evil guy that reminds me of thanos is there. Thanos is suddenly michael dorn without his worf makeup but he is still evil. I hide bhind a door and throw knives at him... they don't even hit him hard. He goes to attack me but I wake up.

Mostly just one long dream and a small disjointed fragment from an early awakening.

---

Dream Fragment:

Something about a physical vault for porn; it was a gazebo-like building in the middle of a tiny island surrounded by a lot of water, but there were some nearby cliffs. I remember seeing it from there. H was in the dream and I remember feeling aroused from some of the images. I was sorting them, like they were in a computer file system. I wanted to finish what I was doing and spend some time together with H after I was done.

Dream:

Me and H were in the car. We were somewhere in Northern Ireland, we'd gotten there by boat but I don't have a dream memory of the boat trip. We drove through a few small villages. I remember someone telling me or talking about the weather, about how this little village here was always damp, wet, and cold. There were some very curvy roads, surrounded by nice and scenic woodland. Along the way two old men were just waddling about the literal middle of the road and I told H to slow down and be careful, since I was afraid we might hit someone like them. H didn't seem too bothered but slowed a bit.

We went up some hills, eventually we arrived somewhere. We came here for an appointment apparently. Initially in the dream I was confused, because I didn't remember having any appointments coming up soon, but it was for H actually. I remember being at the lobby/desk and "checking in", I was asked for a name and gave mine, and I remember looking away at a clock on a wall and saying it was a 12:30 appointment. The man said something but I don't remember what, but everything was OK anyway.

Then I went into a bathroom. It didn't have lights? But it had some natural light, but it was still dim. I don't remember what I was wearing up to this point, but now I was changing clothes, getting dressed as if going to bed. I had no pants on or anything but my top was the same one I actually slept with. The dark green one, which is long enough that it covered my private areas, so I just walked out of the bathroom not caring too much about it, walking more or less straight ahead, as I could see H sitting on a chair in a room, through a door. Understandably I did get some strange looks and glances from the nurses/staff as I walked towards that room.

I walked into the room and expected the therapist would close the door. She didn't, but then it closed itself, or I did it. The room was small and plain with a typical office-like look, but it only had two walls, the one with the door, and the one behind where me and H were sitting. There was no ceiling and beyond the two missing wall sections was a green area, and some kind of stadium? I remember waiting for the therapist to say something. At this point, I was still in some dream-confusion about whether this appointment was for myself or H. But then H spoke and I encouraged it too, so they'd talk about some anxiety stuff. This part of the dream recall is a bit vague for some reason but some people across the way interrupted the therapist somehow; they shouted, calling for attention or notifying her of something?

She seemed embarrassed and also unsure of herself. I remember she looked a bit like H's sister, but was naturally blonde and had at least twenty or more years on us. A bit out of nowhere, her superior showed up, a tall man in a suit, juxtaposing with her naturally small stature. He put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting way and told her something, but they were too far for me to hear.

At some point through all of that I remember noticing my bare left knee. Before sleeping, the past night, my knee had been having burning sensations and hypersensitivity. When I looked at my knee now in the dream, I could see a circle of strange bumps, with somewhat concentric lines of more bumps on the inside of that circle.

There's a transition of some kind. All of a sudden we're elsewhere, home maybe? I tell H I can't remember how we got here. I tell H that I have no recall of a trip back here and I feel confused, but do not remember to question reality.

The next thing I remember is we're in a mine of some kind. Dark, poorly lit, but the lights are a warm colour. Details are missing. At some point, I see a grenade on the floor, over a grate of some kind. Oddly enough, I'm unafraid of the grate despite realising there's a bottomless pit under it, and I see the grenade still has its safety pin. I grab it and inspect it. I remember H talking to me and me to H as I was doing this. On the grenade, with the bad lighting, I try to read for instructions; although I have a general idea of how it should work, this grenade seemed very small, I could make a fully closed fist around it. The only writing I could see on it was a lot number of some kind. It was difficult to read because of the light and the fact that it was just sort of embossed into the surface, there was no contrasting pigment. It read "l624" or something.

Disappointed by the lack of instructions, I threw it gently over onto a nearby tunnel that was lit by a lamp. I didn't want to hold on to it if I couldn't be sure how it worked. But then I detonated it or something, but while there was a big blast, there wasn't much light or noise. Virtually no damage occurred either.

Then I remember walking up a slope in the mine with H, and as we were about to exit the mine (which in the context of the dream was like our hideout) for some reason, a woman about our age showed up. She just walked in but was not hostile to us. A small-ish bear and a wolf of the same size followed her. She had semi-blonde and very curly hair. We both spoke to her and the animals went into the mine to sleep; H stayed speaking to her and I followed the animals, finding them asleep. I gently woke the wolf up and he growled at me, I was unafraid and let him feel that I was happy he was interacting with me. I let him sniff my hand and then he seemed to like me. Then I got some notifications on some interface overlay that the girl favourited some things I'd posted? It didn't make much sense. But now she like me and H more.

The last bit of the dream is kind of gone from memory now, but it involved some refugees she was helping and that we were then helping too.

---

Might edit in some notes later but a bit tired of typing.

Woke up after ~6 hours of sleep. Started to do some SSILD but fell back asleep after the first cycle. Nevertheless, I went lucid later on.
In the dream I was just trying to take a shower but I was stuck taking off my clothes - they kept reappearing. After a while I realized that I was dreaming and left the bathroom. Immediately I got to a beach which wasn't that surprising as it was where I intended to go. There were some people around, children playing at the edge of the water etc. Without thinking twice I went on towards the sea. I could feel the ground beneath my naked feet, mostly sand mixed with some stones and dry seaweed. Though I could feel the sharp-pointed stones it wasn't uncomfortable to walk on them.
The sea was quite rough but I was still surprised about the waves' power when I got into the water. They kept pushing me back towards the beach or pulling me further away. I recognized that it would be dangerous to go swimming in these circumstances but as I knew it to be a dream I didn't care and swam towards the open sea. I remembered that I was able to dive down and breath underwater. Suddenly a man swimming submerged crossed my way. I wondered what would happen if we crashed into another and kept swimming. Time got a bit strange here and he passed right before me. Before I could do anything else, I woke up.

Making horror levels gone wrong
I am in some level editor, possibly from a game by Frictional Games. I am placing some sort of monster, but how it looks makes me unsettled. Then, I suddenly heard a voice in my computer. "I see you..". I then felt so unsettled that I wanted to close all the editors. But then I opened the game window and pressed refresh, which made changes I made in the editor appear. I had originally planned to immediately press escape and exit the game, but that plan was interrupted by the monster suddenly appearing right in front of the camera, sitting in a chair of sorts making strange noises which had me frantically and in terror planning my next actions. I was so startled that I woke up.
-
After this, I woke up quite early, so I went to sleep again.
-

Awakening to lightning
I'm not sure if I had some dreams before or after this, but I have a false awakening that simply consists of some lightning outside. Usually, I would go and take pictures, but I forget and go to sleep again, the storm soothing me to sleep quite quickly.
-
After this, I once again wake up early and just close my eyes again, jumping back into my dreams within seconds.
-

Adventure as a shapeshifting being
I am a being that seems to be able to change to its will. It is limited, but I do not know how. I have quite a few friends that are also special in specific powers. I feel free and am usually quite happy and cheery to my friends, as are they. I don't remember exactly what we did together, I only know we were happy. I only know of our main goal, which was to recover some sort of artifact an enemy of us has. After a while, we get there and we are sort of on a long pathway suspended up in the air in a large temple-like, abandoned chamber full of moss and water flowing out of the walls in small but noticeable amounts.

I run towards the enemy and recover the artifact, which allows me to turn into a creature which is gigantic and has immense power, and sort of resembles a ghost leviathan from Subnautica. I fly around the enemy, and I think I am devouring it. I get a third person view of this. Then I accidentally hit one of my friends with part of my tail, and she quickly collapses, dying. At first, I don't notice, but then I notice and get a very sinking feeling. My gigantic, four eyed face then approaches the friend laying on the ground. I am filled with guilt. Then the dream ends.

Extremely unclear fragment
The only thing I remember is that it contains the stairwell of my house.

---

The first dream stems from me making a SOMA mod. Not sure where that monster came from, though. It resembles Granny from the horror game of the same name, but I haven't thought of it for a while.

The second dream stems from me wishing for lightning storms and seeing that now as spring is coming, the clouds are getting larger much quicker.

The third dream stems from me not really feeling free as much, nor having any very good friends in real life. Not sure where the shapeshifting part came from, but it was quite cool. This dream made me want to lucid dream again and that's why I returned to the forum. I'm glad I did, I missed detailing my dreams here.

I don't really know anything about the fourth dream.

I haven't been keeping on top of my DJing but recall has remained fairly consistent throughout. Still go through my recalled dreams every morning even if I don't make note of them.

Today several dreams, some fragments of them here. I think the order is more or less the same as the order of their happening.

---

Dream Fragment:

H was driving. Remember being in a town like where I'm originally from. Night time or just past sunset. There was a previous dream in which I was in the car with dad, so perhaps this was kind of a repeat? But in the dream with dad, I took over driving for a bit and somehow sort of spun it out of control and bounced it on its sides, only for it to land fine and carry on anyway.

Dream Fragment:

Was at a supermarket. Don't remember exactly everything I got or did, but do remember that by the end of the sequence I was looking through some kind of storage cupboards for tins of canned meat or cheap baked beans. Probably brought on from having a craving for meat an hour before bed.

I also remember that the supermarket was poorly lit or dark, but had a warm (in a nice sense) atmosphere to it.

Dream Fragment:

This one was obviously because of playing Stellaris recently. Was managing some kind of space empire and the interface looked weird. I remember sending fleets to certain star systems on the empire's borders or beyond.

In the dream I can remember talking to someone, we were discussing the choices I could potentially make with a unique society altering technology, which would let me restructure some native traits of the species. For whatever reason I remember picking some choice that would let me sacrificie "Noo"s (Pops, essentially?) for some kind of benefit, but I don't remember what. Something about this melded with archetype memories of Master of Orion II.

Dream Fragment:

Something about being on a slide. I don't think I myself was in the dream, more like it was a scene from a show. It was the "past" (there was some time travel transition in a previous dream) and this kid and his dad were in this covered slide. It was a very long slide but they were going slowly, and there were two other men, friends of that dad. They were all discussing holidays or something. Outside, visible through some tiny porthole windows on the slide, was a guy on a red motorcycle or something?

The dad and the kid were saying something about making fun of the motorcycle guy because they were somehow faster going from one end to the other than he'd been.

I remember a dark BMW or dark Mercedes somewhere. The weather was grey and overcast but fairly bright.

---

Notes:
- I have already noticed this a few times in the past, but usually around an hour or so before bed, whatever I do or happens seems to be more likely to appear in some form, even vaguely, in my morning dreams. Namely the looking through cupboards with a craving thing, in the case of this DJ entry.
- In the space empire dream, I remember being dissatisfied with the whole sacrificing thing, mostly because it seemed to just be massively inconvenient; I had the feeling I was locked into the choice or something.

Some dream fragments. Initially had better recall but didn't manage to type as much as I wanted in my initial notes and so recall just faded for the most part. Some pre-sleep journaling too because I haven't really done that a lot.

Although I have had recall of dreams from all the previous nights since my last DJ entry, I haven't been making notes in the morning for the most part. H's alarm can be distracting and causes me to lose details sometimes, which puts me off from trying to write, besides all the other usual issues.

---

Pre-sleep:

Some stray thoughts about something lead me to loosely focusing thoughts on memories from my childhood, primarily from the ages between three and five. Somewhat vivid memory of the balcony, but details missing and wrong. I hoped my focus on these memories would perhaps carry on into dreaming and allow me to explore the memories a bit better. Some recall of trying to place myself in the height I would have been, meaning a different point of view from the lower glass panes rather than the higher ones. I remember having other conscious thoughts about the memories but I have forgotten the specifics now.

Dream Fragment:

Was having a discussion with a girl about my age, we were talking about buck/boost transformers and how they saved power or something. I was doing a poor job of explaining and getting to the point I wanted to make and so she started to think I was trying to make some sort of sales point without evidence. I was at some kind of hotel? Initially I was speaking to her from a hallway that had these sliding doors to the outside; she was out on a courtyard of some kind, under a summer/pool tent of sorts.

I'd met her at a fairly high floor in the building, 30 something? I had been going up through the floors using stairwells with my family up to this point, but I think they just continued on without me. I think near the end the girl's form shifted between herself and some male dream character.

Before I got to the hotel, I remember travelling with my family through some highway, dad was driving. At some point we weren't in the car anymore but sort of still on the road. I remember my parents asking T if he should put an extra layer/top on. L made some comment? We were on the start of a mountain path or something. We were apparently going some place cold, I remember a dull grey day, misty. Reminds me now of some real beach or coastal area I've visited in waking reality many years ago with my family.

Dream Fragment:

Called an aunt. Brief conversation, remember noting it took no more than five or six minutes. Vague visual recall of orange phone screen?

---

Notes:

- The orange phone screen was most likely a detail of a home phone; either the one we have now or the one from my parents' house.
- The highways in the dream remind me of the ones from Fallout, possibly because of playing it recently.
- Not entirely sure what brought on the context of discussing electronics but possibly just a more obvious intrusion of information consolidation processes; my apparent ignorance on the subject in the dream perhaps being caused by the fact I rarely discuss the specific topic in question.

Some very long dreaming overall, many fragments lost now. The primary dream is backwards since that was the easiest way to put all the memory into notes.

---

Dream Fragment:

The earliest part of this dream I can remember, I was moving a cruise liner-like ship into orbit of a pretty plain planet. While manoeuvring close, I accidentally clipped head-on into the planet, so I had to sort of reverse out and reposition. I wanted to set it up so that it would make a nice screenshot, with the system's star and the nebulae in the background. There was a relatively dark palette to this scene, dark purples and dark desaturated oranges, almost a bright brown. The planet itself was a somewhat bright but lifeless pink and the ship was just some standard dark grey of sorts. Warm light.

I intended to upload the resulting screenshot onto the game's forum, I think. Despite the whole scene having a hyper-realistic feel, it was quite a lot like Freelancer but not quite, a bit of EVE online feel to it too.

In actuality I was on the ground, at the sloped and curvy area near M's house in my old town. I remember using some interfaces about my ship and looking through options. I "moused over" some checkboxes that had question marks next to them for info and quickly glanced at some tooltips that would appear with lists on them. I clicked some options rapidly; the options were relating to failure/limp modes. After checking these boxes, the ship started to implode. The options had no warning or confirmation before I had activated them so I got upset and spoke angrily at the interface, swearing and declaring how it was stupid, in my frustration.

On some list of ships I apparently owned, I saw the value of this cruiser drop rapidly from several hundred million to almost nothing as it imploded. I knew the ship was dead and worthless now in orbit of that planet and took some comfort in the fact that nobody would want to loot it being so worthless. Annoyed, I still felt like I could make a screenshot out of it.

Dream:

I woke up when in the dream I was telling H about some water-filled cyst things that seemed to be under my skin on my chest, my groin and my legs. They were hard to the touch. There were some kind of "veins" between them and at certain angles or positions the water would run down through them with gravity. It looked a bit like fresh sausages when they are cooked and have fluid built up under the casing. I remember the light at this point was a dim and lightly blue-ish morning light.

I asked H what it was and what it meant and more importantly, why it was going green on some bits (lower right belly) and H just said "then you lose" which made me panic and cry, at which point I quickly woke up.

In the dream I had noticed them earlier and in the dream context of having just seen a doctor recently too. I wondered why I hadn't told the doctor about them. Maybe they weren't there at the time? This was all at the end of a long and odd dream.

The preceding segment, I was with H at some guy's house. We were just loading up some cabinet "from the sound of music" or something into the van. Fairly dark wood, polygonal top, gold double trim along some edges, namely the top's sides. Was a bit like an end-table/cabinet. The guy who'd sold it to us had curly hair and fit some generic archetype of a musician. He commented something like "I hope you won't use it, and just store it safely in a bank", obviously still sentimental about it despite selling it. I thought to myself that there was no point in doing that, why had we bought it then. H didn't comment, I think.

I had arrived on foot at this place, having expected to actually go home before I got here but for whatever reason I had come across H in the dark street just in front of this guy's house. H's van was on its left side and H had taken the roof off it somehow. Had a determined look and was moving some reel tape boxes on a shelf just behind the bulkhead. Gravity didn't seem right, like it was working in multiple directions at the same time. Didn't notice me for a while, but it was like I wasn't there either. Pre-lucid thoughts about how the van being like this was very dreamlike. The thoughts didn't cross the required threshold however and I didn't do any reality checks.

Preceding that, I had been walking along streets of some version of the town we live in now. It was night time and wet, I can remember the reflection of red traffic lights on puddles. It may have been raining too while I walked. I remember the majority of my walking time I had been looking at Whatsapp on my phone. There were messages from H and loads from other people, but I promptly dismissed or ignored the ones from other people as I noticed them.

When I started walking it was day time, sunny and dry. I remember there was this garden, belonging to a bad man. I felt like burning it down just before I'd left it. I walked across the little fields to get to the pavement and there were some odd roots or vines that had a planty mouth, and they shot chocolate ice cream or something across to the other side of the street. The little fields had vegetables planted, mostly carrots and turnips? But the root of the vegetables was very visible, not just the top of the plants.

I got to this place after walking outside from another place where me and a bunch of other people were. Everyone had just found out that this man who owned these little garden/field things was a bad person, because of the testimony I gave them publicly, plus the testimony of two other people in the room. I was glad that they had spoken up. This indoors place was a bit like the fun centre at the mall near my old town. Odd lighting to the place.

This man had apparently been building illegal mini race track things but there was something more insidious about him. I had just come down from an indoors ramp of sorts when a girl about my age confronted me about it, she had a worried look on her face. In the preceding segment I had been helping that man build this thing. But I stopped helping him as soon as he asked me to poop somewhere, as part of the building effort or something and to do something with it. I pretended to have no issue with this and just told him there was no way I could possibly just do it whenever I wanted and that I was fairly "irregular" anyway. I thought at this point of asking for the pay he'd promised but realised immediately he'd be a bastard, so I didn't and at that point I just wanted out of there and away from him.

Finally, the earliest point in the dream I can remember was something about a forest and a sort of top down view. It was where I first noticed for myself these mini race track things, some floating over some kind of black abyss void.

Dream Fragment:

Something about Kaiju/Godzilla? Vague visual recall of some scenes where Godzilla was walking through a city.

Dream Fragment:

Some mini dream sequence about the automatic act of shaving. Probably caused by a lingering intent of wanting to do since yesterday.

---

Notes:
- When I woke up from the long dream, I was sweating, which is what typically has been happening when I get long and intense or vivid dreams.
- The panic-type feelings stopped as soon as I woke up and didn't carry over into wakeful awareness. This wasn't what I'd consider a bad dream, just an odd one.
- The things that were on my chest and etc. seemed like the symptom of something but I don't remember them being painful or anything.
- There were several other dreams that I had fragments of, but I didn't make note of them and couldn't hold them through writing the rest of this.

Bad recall. only remember one dream: Jamie me and jesus in some room. don't remember any details other than that. I hope this week is better. Still impressed i get a Jamie dream a week

A few dreams though I only remember bits of them.

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Dream Fragment:

I remember being in a somewhat dark room and having a discussion with some people about age, in the dream I was around an age when my hair would start greying, starting at the front and just lightly. Mom was there and she commented on how it was just like her dad's hair. I remembered a photo of him that mom has kept in her home office for years since his passing. Then I remember seeing a mirror and seeing myself on it. I looked older but unimaginatively so, but my hair did look a lot like his, except for the fact that his would have curled slightly.

Dream Fragment:

Perhaps from another segment of the previous dream, but I remember something about trains and a kind of alien (Mars-like?) desert. Day time, clear sky. There were some really high-tech-looking trains and one such train went up a hill into a rounded futuristic building. I was with a group of people (friends?) and we were walking in the opposite direction, though I kept looking. The engine carriage separated and sort of shot off on its own along the rails and quickly hit an end-track bit, bouncing back and then hitting the rest of the carriages. It was some type of freight train, and its ornamental features matched that of the building, featuring a warm orange.

Dream Fragment:

Something about me or captain Picard, in a large office room of some kind. Other people both friendly and not-so-friendly were there, and we were there to ask for money I think. Starting at 30,000 but then the guy didn't want to give us any more, so then there was this little scene where Picard walked closer to him slowly and then started punching him very fast until the guy, who was also kind of old, fell down on a spiral staircase. He didn't go all the way down or anything, just a couple of steps on his back, because the degree between each step was very small (less than half foot?).

The staircase steps were marble and the handrail looked fancy, but I don't remember it in detail. I remember a woman speaking after this had happened and she said "well, now you have 25,000, since you have to take away 5,000 just for that". But then before the dream ended there was something about a million, I don't remember.

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Notes:
- Recently in waking life I'd been thinking about how I don't really ever remember seeing mirrors in my dreams, so I think that's partly what brought on one's appearance in the first fragment.
- Typically, despite being the result of a previous conscious thought during wakefulness, I did not realise the connection between the two things in the dream. This is happening quite a bit lately, which is frustrating at times. But it may just be that my recall is also decent lately, so maybe I just think I notice it happening more but it may just always happen this frequently and I haven't realised before.
- Featuring myself as being older may also come as the result of conscious thought from waking life, as I often question why I'm always my current age in dreams. Although in the dream, until the hair thing was made obvious by the mirror, I did just feel like my current age anyway.
- In the train dream, the group that was with me was a bit shocked with the collision, but I had been expecting it. The dream had a slight Borderlands feel to it.
- There was a fourth dream fragment also involving trains but in a completely different context. I can't put the visuals into words now.
- The dream with Picard may have just been some continuation of the first fragment. I'm really not sure anymore if these dreams were directly linked or not, because I don't remember any transitions and I had several awakenings this morning.

A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway.

Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories.

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Dream:

Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly.

This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door.

I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too.

Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something.

Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began.

Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already.

Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt.

Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it.

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Notes:
- When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens.
- I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold.
- The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like.
- In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point.
- Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems.
- More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too.
- The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.

Dreams for the mornings of 26th, 27th and 31st of March. 26th and 27th enclosed in spoiler to reduce general length of the DJ entry.

The last few days I have had decent dream recall from morning awakenings but I have felt too tired to make initial notes for them (28th,29th,30th). Sleep has been unusual for this past week, keep getting up too late despite several normal awakening times but might be starting to improve again.

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26th:

Spoiler for 26th content:

Dream Fragment:

One of the earliest dreams I remember, it was quite a vivid dream but I didn't make note of it until a later awakening so details were lost. Basically a giant/anthropomorphic sex scene of some sort? (Self-memo; see original note for a few more details)

Dream:

On a planet covered in cities but also wide ravines with lava at the bottom. The buildings weren't very tall (no more than twenty stories each) and some were on the edges of these lava ravines. I remember grappling between the buildings at high speed with some Oort grapples? It was like a game and another player saw me and followed me along with their own grapples, which annoyed me initially. From the building tops I could see a sunset to the right and a coastal area. Opposite to that, on the left, was more city but in smaller density and no lava ravines; it was also progressively darker/duskier the more I saw toward the left. I headed in that general direction with the grapples.

Transition of some kind possibly.

A mix of McGee and a high school friend. He was flying with a jet pack and I was flying with a massive and single jet engine that I had strapped on my back or something. But it was too heavy so I kept touching the ground instead of simply flying up/forward, which made the momentum sort of reset.

We were flying or racing along some roads, there were trees either side of the roads and the trees made a sort of canopy over the road. I remember moonlight coming through the leaves.

27th:

Spoiler for 27th content:

Poor recall, woke up unable to focus. There were other dreams from 7AM onwards but I didn't recall enough details to go into any of them as I made my initial notes.

Dream:

This was the last dream, which took place in a town. It was a bit busy and I was with someone, possibly H. We'd just been at a detached/semi-detached house? and we were going to cross the street. I remember it was day time but possibly near the end of the day. A purple van driven by a woman was backing up and parking on the driveway to the right of the one from the house we'd just left.

Her van was supposed to have some vynil stickers on the side (auto-intuitive dream knowledge) but for some reason it had an error message of some kind, which in the dream I briefly realised wasn't supposed to be the case. The street was quite wide, like six lanes wide, three going either way. The road was on a slope and the incline increased quickly after a certain point going down, around where it also cornered.

We watched for traffic and crossed the street, then walking up the street on the other side. This side had no driveways whatsoever; it instead had a tall building, of which I only remember the wall, with no windows (understood it to be the side of the building). The wall was cream coloured, typical of my native area. At the top of the road, where it met a perpendicular road, forming a T junction, it looked extremely complicated and traffic along the perpendicular street was very busy. I remember we crossed to a little pavement island in the middle of the junction. For whatever reason, some people I knew from early years of school (8-10 years of age?) were there. I spoke to one of them about electrical power and I suggested putting a generator here.

Then an interface overlay appeared and I could see "slots" on the pavement islands that could have had houses built there, so that was why I was suggesting the generator, instead of the houses apparently. In the interface I got the feel that the generator would be placed underground, beneath the road, should it come into existence. The dream ended soon after.

31st:

I had some sort of pre-sleep half-dream. I was starting to "paint" with just my mind (telekinetically) and was having ideas for a new painting and what I might paint next in my art room.

Dream:

I was in Sweden. I was with one or both of my Swedish friends and we were in their metro system. The stations were tall and spacious, but what really caught my attention was the shapes of the architectural structure. A lot of long and abstract shapes (just the kind of thing I'd like to build with concrete) and all of the stations we went through were mostly concrete, which I think my friends disliked. I think I liked it despite the lack of colour just because of the shapes.

The stations were very well lit and quite busy. I remember we went through one station on the train and there were small island platforms with crossings between them that went down on the rail level, which seemed to imply a high degree of self-responsibility from people.

Another part of the dream or a different dream, I was trying to get to or from university?

Dream Fragment:

Something like the cities game I've played recently, but mixed with actually travelling through the city. I was trying to manage some sort of power dams, three of them to be exact, and they were using water from a mountain like a custom map I made in WL that had a dormant volcano lake.

There were some flow issues eventually, especially because the water was getting completely drained by the dams and this disrupted where it wanted to flow; the water from the source started making its own way in opposite directions and this annoyed me.

Dream Fragment:

In some kind of office. I remember the typical fake ceiling and light fittings. It must have been afternoon; there was a nice and golden light coming in through blinds that covered the windows. The dream focus was on two characters. A stereotypical "madame" and her butler. She wanted to check if she had won some prize with this organisation which did travel tours as rewards? She was obviously naive with her direct interactions with people and the world. Someone representing the organisation felt a bit odd and sinister.

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Notes:
- The pre-sleep state was interesting because it was like what I used to get as a child, just not as strong. It came on very subtly and on its own.
- That state's content was a conscious decision, because I quickly understood that I was more creatively receptive at this stage compared to normal thought, just a shame I didn't interrupt it to make any notes about the painting ideas.
- I was a bit disappointed to not have made notes about the sex dream right after it had happened. In the last few days during the first morning awakenings I have dreams with great recall and think to myself of short word descriptions for the dreams so that I can remember them even if I fall asleep but this technique hasn't worked very much so in conclusion I really need to just write down dreams as soon as I can if I'm likely to fall asleep again.

I notice that most recurring characters in my dreams have at least one bad dream one way or another, so I thought it would be notable to list the ones with only good dreams to see if there is a pattern:

Lindsey Stirling (my favorite artist)
Iulia (real life friend, I dream of my omnipotence and sharing dreams with her)
Virsieras (genius inventor and inferred architect of my awesome dreams, though the dream with her world featured had an unsettling ending)
my soul mate (even our break up felt fine)
my subconscious (a bit cold acting, but his physical appearance seems to guarantee a good dream)
John, my alter ego (we have friendly competitions)
Jamie, a long time friend for years

Notable people who appear in bad dreams:
- Mastermind (a smart man chased by an organization)
- dream guide (couldn’t help on phone)
- my sister (a weird dangerous situation)
- my mother (due to her strict teaching irl)
- Abby, my crush, due to our falling out