All DJ Entries

Nostalgia Band:
I'm in a highschool gym at indoor band practice. I'm a senior who will be graduating soon, so feeling nostalgic.
I walk over to our saxophone cases and join the group. I feel the familiar rush of uncertainty.
Where are we going? What are we doing? Gotta do it fast!
...
I'm with the same group, this time outside. We have our instruments and backpacks.
It's a grassy mountain hike, spiraly.
I see PK, a senior from my 2nd year. He is talking about burying time-capsules for future years.
There are already a lot of time capsules buried in the ground waiting to be opened.
...
We're in a large, cylindrical, dimly lit room now. There are pictures of previous band members along the wall.
My brother's picture gets pointed out. It is his picture from 1st or 2nd grade.

Sunny Day Lucid:
I'm in my childhood neighborhood on a sunny day.
I'm running through the backyards, with the grass being typical vivid dream green.
I have a sense of urgency to get somewhere soon.
There are some horses up ahead, stabled at somebody's house.
I'm on a garden path moving toward them. I try to leave the path to avoid alerting the horses, but I can't.
I eventually pass by them without a problem.
I stop and stand still, realizing that my childhood neighborhood and sunny days are some of my top dreamsigns.
I perform a nose reality check and I can breathe.
I check my hands and I have 4 fingers and a thumb. That's strange, shouldn't they be off in a dream?
I keep checking my finger and nose, and eventually conclude that I must be dreaming.
I try to summon somebody, but it doesn't work.
I feel the dream start to fade.

This was another surprise. My sleep schedule has been terrible. I hope these spontaneous lucids lately mean that my work with dreamsigns and awareness is paying off!

Went to bed around 2AM.

Dancing with Cars
I'm outside my childhood home. The yard looks like a mixture of heavy green and blue hues.
I perform a nose RC and realize that I'm dreaming.
My first thought is to try and stabilize, so I start rubbing the tree in the front yard. It's kinda wet, and I rub my feet on it too.
The dream is very vibrant, with the aforementioned green and blue hues. I wonder to myself if this is what people mean by 'dreamlike'.
I'm rubbing my hands and the tree trying to stabilize but the dream is fading. I started having a mental dialogue.
Sure, this is fading, but even if we have to WILD back in, we should be able to save this attempt.
I held on to the tree trunk, not wanting the dream to end.
To my delight, the dream fades back in. My tactile sense comes back first, holding the tree, and then my vision.
I walk away from the tree and I'm still rubbing my hands together. I narrate outloud what I'm doing as I move.
"I'm dreaming, rubbing my hands, and walking."
"This is a dream."
"I'm dreaming, rubbing my hands, and walking."
"This is a dream."
I approach our next door neighbor's garage door and notice that instead of an actual garage door, there is a set of regular doors in a line.
Perfect. I can use that to go somewhere new. However I'm not lucid enough to think about going to Silverlight Way (fantasy forest goal), and I decide that I want to go to Australia.
Before attempting to open the door, I visualize a green/yellow hued, wild jungle. I really focus on trying to hear the bugs, animals, branches and all that. This aligns with Australia apparently.
I say "Jungle!" and open the door.
And as is tradition at this point, I see a boring neighborhood on the other side of the door.
I shut the door, try again. Fail. This repeats a few times.
On the final try, I get a slightly different looking area. The architecture of the buildings looks a bit more interesting and there is a highway structure with cars high up.
I decide that is a more fitting setting for a lucid dream, so I go through the door.
I emerge into a street, and out in front of me is a set of tall buildings and the highway up in the sky. It's definitely night-time here.
I wander around a bit, enjoying the dream scene and sense of freedom.
...
I'm in a plane-hanger, talking to a tall man that may have been a coworker from long ago. The plane hanger is in the same environment as before, but I lost lucidity at some point.
He's telling me about an acne problem a current coworker, JG, has.
...
I'm wandering and realize that I haven't flown yet, and my lucidity comes back.
I take off towards the tall highway structure.
Music starts to play. It's melancholy, upbeat, but also happy. I can still hear it and I'm wondering if the melody exists already in the real world. It reminds me of Foals a little bit. There was a repeating three note rhythm, and the final lyric in the pattern was 'stop' or 'shop'.
I land on the raised highway structure. I think to myself that lately I haven't really demonstrated a high-level of dream control. I remembered some people on DV that talked about facing that DCs aren't real, and going through with dangerous situations.
I look out to the oncoming traffic and decide that I'm going to interrupt it. I hover in midair on the highway, just a foot or so above the ground.
The first car comes by, and it grazes me on my right side. As it approached it looked like it was moving around 75mph, but when it was close to me, it was more like 30mph. I slide my hand across it as it goes by.
The music from earlier is still playing. The next car approaches, and I do a 'wax-on, wax-off' motion on my right side. The car wildly flips in the air and flies off into the distance. I'm flipping cars with telekinesis in rhythm with the music.
It's total carnage, and I'm just like, vibin' with the music. But it turns out the DCs don't like to be tossed into oblivion, and cars start to park and queue up to block the road. They are getting out of their cars and approaching me. Chasing me.
The music is still playing, so it doesn't feel like a nightmare. More like a music video. I'm flying, running, and jumping to escape them.
Eventually I reach a garage-type area. BD from highschool is there, and he is trying to handcuff me with a bunch of different types of cuffs, but none of them are working.
One of them though, works, and bands my hands together. It's made from a silicon-material, similar to my smartwatch band.
...
There's a spinoff conversation about Apple TV remotes being smooth, and JG from earlier in the dream is showing off that she has a special edition one.
I've lost lucidity at this point.

Recorded at 7:25AM.

Went to bed around 3AM.

Home Assembly
I'm at the bottom of a set of stairs. The stairs look 2D or paper-like.
The house we are in doesn't look like somewhere I readily recognize, but it might have been similar to M and J's house from far back in my childhood.
I'm with my girlfriend's family once again. They notice I am trying to climb the stairs, but having difficulty due to not being able to put weight on my shoulder.
This is reproduced accurately. I actually have recently had surgery, and this makes some sense.
One of the uncles uses a lever, and the stairs start to move from the bottom up, carrying me to the top.
...
Later I'm in the kitchen of my Grandma P's current home. I'm with my T friend group.
We are stationed around the kitchen counter island, and we are playing a competition or game.
We are trying to assemble something quickly. Our friend J who moved away was also part of the game, but remotely. He finishes first, winning the game.

Woke up around 2PM.

Up at about 4:30AM for a WBTB. No recall from earlier in the night. I've just taken the supplements below for the first time. I'll be back to record later. First impression: Choline smells terrible. Like fishy terrible.

Update: Laid in bed for a long time. GF's regular weekday alarm went off by mistake a couple times and messed up my rhythm. Eventually I relaxed enough to start feeling WILD vibrations. I got all the way through the process of "going through the wormhole", and I could see a dream in a tiny pinhole at the end. It was my childhood home. I could see my old PC monitor with Runescape on it, but the dream was black around the edges. I forgot that I needed to 'grab' the dream and I missed my opportunity.

I find myself in my bed and I think to do a nose RC. I can breathe through my nose so I know I'm dreaming. I start to rub my hands together, spin, and demand that the dream stabilize. It doesn't do much, and it feels very unstable and groggy. I try to leave my bedroom but the dream fades. I have a few more false awakenings with similar results. At one point I did spin and see some marked improvement in quality, but not enough to try and pursue a dream goal. I was trying to go to a forest and explore the dream environment.

I'm in something similar to a fast-food restaurant playscape. There is a pool resort nearby. Sunny day and all that. Looks like a dope vacation spot actually. I'm crawling through the tube tunnels, and eventually come out the other side. There is a group of people playing the upcoming Zelda title, Tears of the Kingdom, on an outdoor TV setup. It is lagging really bad. I'm upset about it being this bad. I wake or otherwise recall nothing beyond this point.

Regarding the supplements. I did notice a bit of a headache during the attempt (and now still), as well as some stomach discomfort. I felt my heart beating faster but that is most likely attributed to the WILD experience itself. Nothing earth-shattering but thought I should note it.

Hoping for better results next time. I will say that this is the first time in a long time that I've actually felt the WILD vibrations, tiny victories I guess.

Supplements: Primary Trigger Combination (1st Attempt)
Galantamine: 8mg
Choline Bitartrate: 250mg

Default = Commentary
Blue = Dream
Green = Lucid

Sep 12 2018

I woke up and color-coded my dreams in a weird order (Red, then Blue, then Green instead of RGB or ROY G BIV). In my first NL, I'm in a strange competition where the teams of two have to come up with a piece of art and a story (but it can be derivative?). My parents and some older relatives (aunts, uncles) are also playing. I'm ambitious and want to try something we've never read before and reinterpret it and create something original from it within the timeframe (we have 1 day, or maybe 1 night, to complete it). Everyone else is cheating and making really simple art, which I'm frustrated at because I'm trying to create something good. This is all taking place in a long room with tables and chairs/stools set up, with large windows that have whitish light coming in. The entire room has a blue, overcast tint to it (it's been rainy lately, I think lighting in dreams could be an important dreamsign).

The scene transitions and I'm in a brighter (incandescant) hallway looking at posters and diagrams. There are displays with black and white etchings or line drawings or diagrams of a man who reminds me of Nietzche in pugilist attire. The display (or a DC) says "engineers have been fascinated with the human body for hundresds (or thousands) of years". I get through the hallway and reach a balcony opening up on a room below (sort of like an operating theater but no separation). There are people in the room below, maybe related to the competition.

I'm now in a blueish comic book store. It's dark outside and in front of me in line, there's a guy trying to buy a macbook. He doesn't pay (or should have in advance) and the cashier scolds him and shoos him out, giving him a warning. Me and the cashier go way back, and he mentions my competition. He suggests a pairing of characters from a fictional anime, and we debate eastern vs western art for a while. He shows me some pictures of the characters for reference. This all felt like one long connected dream.

I'm in my childhood home backyard with my fiancee, we're playing ping-pong with some drunk guy. It's me and her against him, he has a big beard. The ball is bright orange and there's a black trash bag on the table. I miss a couple of balls (I might be drunk too) and feel bad. Suddenly the table is thinner length-wise (maybe it collapsed?). We keep losing balls and there's something on the ground (an unfamiliar dog or other creature?).

Sep 13 2018

I went to bed at 12:30am. The first NL I remember a variation of my reocurring intruder dream, but instead of the intruder, I walk into the hallway from my bedroom and see that the bathroom light is on. Our apartment's maintenance man is finally fixing our sink, but it's the middle of the night. At some point I have a fragment about the server that I've been working on for work.

I wake around 3:50 and move my dog so he stops scratching his collar. Fall asleep and have some NLs. In the next one I remember, I'm in a play place. Think McDonald's with tubes and such, but along the floor only, much too small, and made out of those pop-up tents that resemble windshield sun shades with holes in them. I'm with my fiancee, we're crawling through on hands and knees through the holes. She's ahead of me and I have to expend a lot of effort to get through. There are cobwebs all around, and some small items are stuck in them. I remember vividly that there were a lot of bees/wasps on the ground. As we crawl towards the back, my fiancee finds a large blue crystal ring. We get in a fight about it. A female therapist appears, and she sides with my fiancee. I become irate.

I'm now walking into a room with some old ladies. It's a slightly dim, carpeted, beige room with the curtains drawn but light still filtering in around the edges. I'm naked, and the old ladies, who are sitting in chairs along one of the walls, are looking at me out of the corners of their eyes. I'm standing behind my fiancee (or another DC) after entering the room to try and hide. Eventually something clicks and I realize how ridiculous the situation is, and I look at my hands and become lucid! The old ladies' chair positions have moved, their backs are to the windows now and they're looking directly at me. Some old men (more men than there are ladies) are standing behind them looking upset, and looking away. I shake their hands and tell them I'm dreaming, but they're looking away from me, and each time I shake one of their hands it's like I intercepted them trying to shake someone else's hand. I walk around the room a bit (I didn't write this down immediately so I'm not sure what else I did here), and I remember thinking how lucky I was to be lucid so frequently these past weeks (waking life awareness!!). I then decided to try spinning again. This was my first time spinning from a standing position, and it was at least mostly successful (I had thought about doing this in the night while walking my dog). I wanted to visit my incubated dream world, so I said nonverbally "waterhouse" (I meant bathhouse). My intention was vague and unclear, so it took a while longer to form the dream scene and the dream must have latched on to some floating thoughts to form something coherent out of the word.

The scene materializes (like a squareish shape of white light approaching from the distance) and my full field of vision is focused on a video playing. The video is gaudy, bright, and annoying (my fiancee showed me the new iPhone commercial last night). There were words on the screen in a tacky font, sort of like lyrics although they weren't. There was no sound. Bright neon colors (I remember green and yellow) and images of a woman in a yellow or red dress standing on a stage as if she was singing were flashing on the screen. My field of vision slowly allowed me to disconnect from the screen and realize that it was a phone or tablet that I was holding. I was in a living room similar to my own, with a glass coffee table and a long couch behind me. Although the layout is similar to mine, the dimensions, lighting, and general decor remind me of the house of one of my dad's old clients, a rich Jew.

I look back at the phone again and the screen is dimmer now, and no matter what I do I can't get it to go bright again. I put the phone on the table and decide to do a reality check, so I put my first two fingers into the palm of my left hand. With the two hands stuck together, I decide to try and stick my fingers through the roof of my mouth as well, but I can't. I turn around and look at the couch. There's now a female body on the couch, although it seems like a mannequin. I try to put my fingers through her abdomen/solar plexus, but instead of entering in, the skin flakes off like peeling paint. I peel it like an onion and take off one layer up to the face. The face underneath is different. I take more and more layers off, and each time the face is slightly different. Some parts of the skin reminded me of plastic wrap that sort of warps and has indentations, or like the shrink wrap they use on college textbooks. I start thinking too much and wake up.

It's 5:30am, I color-code my dreams (again with the weird Red, Blue, Green order) and try to stay still because I feel that I'm still in REM and can easily DEILD. I see the white light and almost get into a couple of dreams, but my dog keeps scratching and moving around, other noises keep popping up and bringing me out of it, and I end up just lying there for a while. I try to get back to sleep and maybe I drifted off for a little bit but ultimately I woke up before my 6:40 alarm and DJ'd on my phone.

I'm starting to really believe and understand Sensei's article about catching "the feeling" and holding onto it, trusting yourself that you will LD tonight rather than techniquing yourself to death. Really proud of my frequency lately! But I'm ready for a full night of deep sleep. Work is killing me.

Sep 11 2018

I had two long and detailed NLs during the night, but after waking from each one, I couldn't remember anything*; I was pretty disappointed at my recall. It was around 4 in the morning and I had time to sleep in, at least until around 6:40. I decided to make the best of it. I got up and walked around, did some relaxation and tried to WILD for a bit with no luck. Finally I repeated my mantra only twice and went directly to sleep.

I had a long non-lucid in my childhood home. It was night and I was in the kitchen, looking out the window. I could see a huge field outside. My dad was there, and we were planning something (resistance?). Scene transitions to a more brightly lit room, I have a toy typewriter that types in a brownish color on a clear sheet of glass or plastic; possibly the letters are cookies. I type "how to get rid of giant crickets" and think about cockroaches briefly (fear/loathing of these is starting to become a dreamsign). I think we were fighting against giant crickets in the dark house. I walk from the living room into a long kitchen area. It reminds me of the Oculus Touch VR demo I played about a year ago (with the little robot guy with the cartridges). There's a little kid sitting to the left of the kitchen where I enter; he's sitting and looking at some complicated instruments, similar to a plane or helicopter. However I get the understanding that they're for a car. I teach him about the controls and explain what they're all for. He's doubtful in his abilities and I reassure him.

The scene shifts and the kid and I are in an airplane with the same controls. There may be another DC kid sitting there. I'm telling him to pull up, pull up, pull up! because we're flying really low almost touching an interstate highrise. Finally we're rolling on the ground, the wheels are touching the cement rails/guards on either side of the thing, I say pull up goddammit! He finally does and we're flying again.

Scene transitions and I'm flying on my own, with just my body. Waves of pleasant vibrations are washing over my body and I feel the rushing sensation of the air. I become lucid! I look at my hands to confirm and then look around, and put my hands in a superman pose. I shoot forward! The sensation was insane. I fly for a little longer and then approach another bridge, veering up to avoid hitting it, but slowing down as I consider landing on it. For some reason I hesitate and doubt my ability to land effectively; the dream doesn't destabilize but I remember that I wanted to try spinning in a dream.

I spin counterclockwise, flapping my arms side to control my motion as if I'm trying to spin while swimming. The scene fades and I feel a new one being created although I don't see anything yet. I feel myself sort of fall into a pool of water. I'm in a secluded watery area. All around me there are reddish metal walls with seams and rivets. To the left there's more of an open area. I touch the wall and look closely at the rivets. I walk along the permiter of the wall to my right and then along the wall in front of me, and arrive at a tree with a thin trunk (maybe 6 inches diameter). I can't see any leaves or branches, and the trunk is straight with smooth bark, making me think it's a palm. I try to write my initials on the bark and I can't really see them show up, but I can see them fade (I guess because my fingers were wet?). I remember my coin totem and try to summon it from my pocket. I reach into my left pocket and there's nothing there, but I pretend there is. I pretend to flip the coin with my left hand, nonverbally making the "sheeeeen" sound that it makes when it flips. I catch it in my left palm and slap it onto the back of my right hand, and after a second I feel it there! I move my hand and there it is, looking exactly as it does in real life, except for some fake-looking black rust spots (this could have been because I found an obnoxious amount of mold on my provalone last night). I look at it for a bit, excited that I could actually summon an item from waking life. Unfortunately I forgot the entire purpose of it, to rub it for stabilization. Oh well, there's always next time. Also this whole scene exhibited a huge degree of detail and solidity compared to the flying scene, possibly because I formed it/entered it while already lucid rather than being a preexisting dream. Also, I think that in this area I was in, there was a cover of some kind.

I walk the perimeter to the open area (to the left of where I initially was). I look to the raised area with some pebbles and trees/bushes in sort of a garden. The walls here look like red brick, and there's no cover above, I can see sunlight clearly. I look at a bush and see a doe walk out! She's in perfect detail, and is beautiful. Then she lifts a leg and pees on the bush. I laugh and wake up. As I'm waking up, I realize that there was beautiful, soothing music playing at this place, and I'm able to sort of recapture and hold on to it; then I realize that the music was formed partly by my fiancee's breathing.



*Note: I haven't been keeping a physical DJ on days when my fiancee is working. She's a light sleeper, so the scratching of the pen on paper sometimes wakes her up and she doesn't get enough sleep on working days anyway.

Sep 7 2018

First dream of night: I'm at childhood home. I'm younger, I think. There is a party or gathering coming up, and we're discussing it in the backyard. My mom wants us (fiance and I) to wear a giant Barney suit. We tentatively agree. I try on the suit and can't fit the headpiece on. It's a rectangular oblong plasic open box (thinka tupperware container, but oblong. It was in no way the appropriate size for my head. On the two, I think there was a felt cap or something (driveR). I think the torso had a separate piece from the legs for the costume. After trying the headpiece on without the tupperware "structural mask", mI found that I could shift my focus and see myself in 3rd person (still non-lucid). I remember it looked nothing like a Barney head or any formed animal costume head for that matter; instead it was like a purple ghost outfit (i.e. loose draped rag with eye holes).

The dream shifts and we're all in a parking lot. My mom's request for us to work during the party has come up, but it turns out she wants us to work for 5 hours each. I say that's bullshit, she wsays "well you agreed, you just idn't specify timeframe or current ball timeframe". We were in some kind of parking lot, I was in a white van I believe. I was trying to pull out of the spot and around the corner. I fought with my momm about this and eventually resigned us completely from doing the ball.

Before getting in the van I believe, I was walking around a version of the parking a lot that was fused with my backyard. Off towards the far right/forward corner of the yard, there's a system of roots that went on for a few fet in either direction. I didn't realize, but some of them are completely rotten. I step over them and they collapse, while the healthy parts remain intact. The rotten roots fall away into a large grave-sized hole.

The dream shifts and I'm inside the house, in a false version of my room. My fiance is there with me, but is playing the role of a sister (posibly step sister or family friend, it was vague). The mood was fierce and rebellious. We are talking about how best to approach the Barney situation and my dad ends up walking around the corner. He has a few guys with him and he cracks some inappropriate jokes, and some of the guys with him say some stuff that's way out of line. My zipper is down. Before this my "sister" and I were watching TV or in the kitchen.

Dream fragment about "how to meet your heroes" or something similar.

Edit: In the main dream, I remember at multiple points having to swat away both lovebugs and wasps.



*Note: Seems like in my dreams, I usually get in huge fights with my mom (way more intense than anything ever IWL), and my dad is always laid back (innappropriately so).

Sep 5 2018

I'm in the front yard of my childhood home. It's dark out, a long while before dawn. My parents are there (we're all sitting on ice chests or plastic/yard chairs, I can't remember seeing them) and we're preparing for a party or get-together of some kind. The song "Sweet Child of Mine" is playing, and for some reason I have to learn the solo (I know it vaguely from playing it IWL in high school). This could be from the fact that my parents always wanted me to play guitar at family gatherings and I always hated it. I wrote down something like "just...play it" in my DJ but don't remember the significance. For some reason my high school girlfriend who I dated for like 3 weeks was going to be there, and I remember her name in loopy script. Can't remember if I wrote it or someone else did.

Very vague dream fragment in a restaurant. After that, a vivid dream where I'm on the patio/balcony of my current apartment. I had a "profound sense of acceptance" to quote my DJ.

I woke up around 5am into pretty good paralysis and decided to try a quick WILD attempt (my fiance gets up at 5:30am). Unfortunately my dog got up, flapped his ears loudly, and sat right on my arms/chest, which pulled me out if it. I lay awake for the remaining time and let my fiance sleep, but I heard some weird soft sighing. At first I thought it was her, but as she was leaving I brought it up and she said she heard it too. The only rational explanation is that it was our dog, but it sounded like a human female...

I walked the dog and looked at the stars, pushing my alarm back a little and resolving to get lucid.

In my next dream, I'm on a computer and for some reason I have to download a set of 128 bit pixel smileys. They're coming from a website called Jered/Jerek's World, or Site. The smileys are crude in an "early internet" kind of way. One of them was a picture of exaggerated red lips, another is more orange and is laughing, and my fiance laughs at them. I open up the windows search bar and paste what I had, into the search. It pastes the words "Jerek's World", and as I read the words in my head, the desktop background starts alternating between some tiled images, one tan one saying Jerek/Jered's Site and another grey one saying "Jerek's Billion Dollar Software Company". They transitioned in horizontal and vertical screen wipes.

Next, I'm in a long kitchen stretching out maybe 10 feet to the left and 20 to the right. I'm not aware of anything behind me, but I understand that in front of me past an archway is the living room. I'm standing at the sink, looking for something or someone. Possibly my fiance is there. I was just walking around with a Brita pitcher, and now I see that there's a second, rounder one on the counter. I try to find the lid for it and I see it's in the sink, but the inside of it is covered with a greasy layer of spaghetti sauce.

In my next dream, my boss's boss is giving advice on business lunches, i.e. where to take clients. She suggests some other restaurant, but her favorite is the hotel restaurant. She hands it over to a younger guy who looks annoyed and seems to be a drier, more monotone version of a WL coworker. The room is tinged with blue lighting. He hands out a textbook. We're going to go on a business lunch with him, which he's not pleased about. I pull my phone out and subtly try to voice-record him, but no such luck. I end up taking notes on paper and draw a vivid picture of lips (was one of the smileys). I think at this point I was trying to record my dreams in-dream! Should capitalize on this. I woke with slight headache.



*Note: Analyzing my dreamsigns from the entries I've posted on DV, I think I can safely say my strongest ones are a) childhood home b) fiance c) family members. Hopefully I can add trying to dream journal as a new one, we'll see if it keeps manifesting.

Sep 3 2018

Woke 3:35. In a fight with parents and grandpa about cooking or setting up something (possibly speed-reading). Daylight outside, long tables (possibly crawfish boil).

Woke 5:05. Long fragment in a stadium, receiving some sort of business presentation from coworker. After it's over, I'm picking up my laptop bag and I stand out of the way for a coworker and an unnamed DC, who say that they have a "merge request in the morning". The presenter (another coworker) is kicking us out.

Awoke directly from FA nightmare. My dog barked and I could tell instantly that it was serious, not just him barking at another dog. The door to the bedroom is thrown open and the midget from Twin Peaks season 3 entered with a small gun. He approached the bed, not looking directly at me or anyone, just at the wall behind us. He said something vague and I tried to lean up in bed asking something to the extent of "What do you want?". As I tried to move, and in some sense solve the problem, my vision blurred and the dream started to fade. He was wearing a blue shirt with the pattern of "I (heart) N Y" but the letters were "? (eye symbol) T Y" in white. The room's layout was completely realistic and accurate unlike other false awakenings. I woke up and said "holy shit" aloud. Very scary experience, but very vivid -- would have been invaluable if I could have gotten lucid and converted it.

Before that, I was in my childhood home, on the phone with my manager about something that needed to get done. The screen was black with red nubmbers and dial-screen graphics, and an orbiting globe outline. The call got dropped. I was worrying about this with my parents but they seemed to think it would all work out (it was nighttime). My sister was in my room on my computer, looking for the first book in a series my fiance is currently reading. I suggested that she can just read my fiance's copy rather than buy it herself. I end up also giving her a japanese manga volume and another poorly translated japanese book, I remember the engrish being hilarious in-dream. After this, I went to the kitchen (all of the lights were out). I was trying to write down my dreams in ink on the wood floors. In the back of my mind I knew this was a terrible idea and that my dad would be furious, but in the moment I wasn't worried about it. There were some drops of water on the floor and it was smearing the ink, so I started wiping it up, making the smearing even worse. I was also worried about cockroaches.

After the ink, I found myself in a distinct dream scene. I was on the ground looking up at the side of a cliff maybe 4 or 5 stories high. There was a good bit of dirt caked on and I thought to myself how nice it would look if I could get the dirt off. I grabbed a wedge-shaped piece of reddish slate and scraped as much dirt as I could off and stepped back, and noticed how nice the geometric patterns were. I remember the thought-phrase "cliff face". When I looked again, one of the rock formations sort of looked like a nose, and the one below looked like a mouth! When I started examining the rest of the cliff, the whole thing was taken up by face structures (abstract and Easter Islandish). The ground went from being solid dirt and rock, to having some cracks in which curved red boards were shoved and prying the cracks apart. In the cracks were green cylindrical vegetables (I thought of okra or fat asparagus stalks). As I moved forward towards the cliff, I noticed a mesh oyster bag of sea urchins, which were moving around each other in the bag, sort of like you expect spike balls to in a metroidvania or platformer. This was a really vivid and overall nice and creative dream that's simple but feels profoundly peaceful, the kind of nonlucid you generally want to have. So of course this scene transitioned directly to the nightmare FA.

I woke again at 8:59. My fiance was in trouble. We were in some sort of college sign-up, car buying, or other related scenario. There were DCs everywhere, and specifically several DCs with deep blue eyes and short hair meant her harm in an insidious way (they were outwardly friendly). I became more and more adversarial over the course of the dream, eventually hitting them and throwing things at them. We moved from the student union/indoor car lot into a side hallway which transitions to a long house with lots of corridors and small rooms arranged in pretty much a straight-shot, but almost labyrinthine at the same time. I was thinking somehow they were hypnotizing her, and she was getting more and more bruises on her arms and abdomen. Eventually I get in exaggerated physical fights with them and I somehow manage to get 2-4 of them to defect to my side as allies and stow her away under a sliding hole in the kitchen (sort of a drain hole in the floor, like you see in restaurant kitchens). She escaped succesfully.

I'm unknowingly in an FA but think I'm fully awake. I am having the "transparent eyelids" effect, and I'm looking around my bedroom at the closet door, but it's the wooden closet door from my childhood home. I'm etching a human face in it with my mind.

After this, I'm in my childhood home and members of my family as well as random DCs are dressed in "starship troopers armor" -- white and blue, and white and red. It was a long and in-depth dream, but I don't remember much of it. I finally escaped the fray and sat back on my bed, but then my father entered my room with his gun held high, and I remember thinking "oh good, you'll just be my bodyguard". When I thought this (non-lucidly), he changed his course of action from running forward to attack me to climbing in bed next to me with his rifle held out (think Fullmetal Jacket "This is my rifle"). I got up from bed* and started walking towards the hallway. Almost instantly I became lucid! I didn't say "I'm dreaming!" or do any RCs or stabilization unfortunately. I walked down the hallway towards the bathroom, and it was daylight outside, maybe early morning. I walked into the bathroom and looked at the mirror, seeing a girl in a dress instead of myself. In this moment, I started to think of the "bad guys" in the starship troopers armor and then banished the thought from my mind, knowing that if I thought of them I would encounter or summon them. So instead I took advantage of the situation -- although I was seeing the girl in the mirror, I felt my dream body as my own physical body. So I turned away from the mirror and decided that I would become the girl in the mirror. I turned back around and I was!

Spoiler for nudity:

My body had changed competely and I was naked. Naturally, I touched my arms and chest to test sensation (it was dull, sort of semi-numb as my dream body sensation usually is). I did a little twirl and

inspected my face further in the mirror -- my face was sort of ugly and homely**, and as mirrors in dreams usually do, my face shifted quite a bit. I leaned in further to inspect myself and kissed the mirror (it was cold). I then leaned back out and decided to try my "Clear sight. Clear sound. Clear touch. Grounded. Calm, confident. I can stay here as long as I want." stabilization phrase. However, as soon as touched my thumb and forefinger, I accidentally said "Clear mind" first! It rejected me from the dream instantly. As I began to feel my waking body, I realized my thumb and forefinger were touching here too; maybe this triggered the waking?

I laid awake for quite a while after that, as I had already slept more than usual for the night, and for the whole weekend basically. I was also still excited about the lucid and hoping to drop back into it. Eventually I went back to sleep and had some more non lucids. In the first, I was with my fiance in a rest area/cabin in the woods. In the next, I felt as though I dropped into the dream as a visualization from waking, but it's possible I was only visualizing from an FA. I was imagining tall waves, and how my body bobbed up and down in them. It felt incredibly nice and peaceful. I was at a beach, and my sister was standing on a board of some kind zipping up a life jacket. I think my fiance was bobbing up and down in the water too. When I looked at the shore, I couldn't quite see the sand but I could see tall buildings above the waves, which I identified to be my apartment buildings from WL. A distinct black shape was swimming towards me, and I thought it might be a shoe or a fish (I thought it could be a dangerous fish but dismissed the thought instantly). After another waking, I had a final dream of being in a wood panneled shop with an old woman who was offering the shop to me (inheritance?). Her wares were laid out on a long wooden table, which after looking away and looking back turned out to be a giant Knorr pasta packet. I believe this all happened in 3rd person.



*I think getting out of beds in nonlucids is a lucidity/awareness trigger -- will have to investigate how to encourage this).
**This is actually the second time I've transformed my body into a woman's in a mirror while lucid, but for some reason I always turn into butterfaces. Also not sure why I keep doing this. Why, lucid mind, why?

Sep 1 2018

The night started with some visualization of a dream I'm trying to incubate, which lasted probably 30 minutes to an hour. After that, I set my intentions to become lucid and headed to sleep.

My first dream of the night involved some kind of network TV teenage vampire drama plot, which took place in a neighborhood similar to mine from childhood. In the next dream, I was in a trench coat placing high-stakes bets using a 90's era cell phone. At the end of this dream, all of my cronies were in a room, facing forward in rows, and I was facing backward. We were all peeing on the ground (I think it was a power play).

Next, I'm in a huge convention center. I had just seen the newest Avengers movie (I haven't seen it IWL). I was ranting to others about how Thanos had all of the Avengers on his side and wasn't even fighting, but was just using the Avengers to fight. The convention center was huge (should've caught that, since disproportionate structures is one of my dreamsigns). We (a couple of DCs and I) were walking through the ground floor when we ran into

Spoiler for nudity:

three girls in fishnet shirts, whose nipples were poking through the fishnet. I or one of my DC friends picked the middle girl's girls up and examined them like a fine connoisseur, asking "These are same-size, no?". I remember they had a lot of moles and sort of looked cancerous? The girl on the left had red fishnet, but the other two had dark grey or black, and all of the fishnet was thick, like yarn or wool rather than thin like you would typically think.

The dream shifts and I'm walking with some old high school friends and acquaintances. We come across M, who's sitting on the floor in front of some people trying to take a picture. We tell her to get up and stop blocking the picture, and she says "This is a picture?" in a way that for some reason made me give out this awful dolphin-like laugh. I remember thinking in my non-lucid state, "stop that, you'll wake yourself up!". Sure enough I did.

After this dream sequence, I got up as my fiance left for work. I walked my dog so he wouldn't bother me for the rest of the session and drank a little apple juice. I MILDed with "I will become lucid in my next dream" and "The next time I see a person, I will look at my hands and realize I'm dreaming". The first dream had very low lucidity. It was sort of a western setting in a two or three story house. Outside I could see a desert/grassland with tall grass growing and mountains in the background, and the sky was really beautiful (should have RC'd here also, abnormal sky is a dreamsign). I walked around the house and looked out of the windows.

From this dream, I awoke into a false awakening. In the FA, I was trying to get back to bed to LD (didn't catch this). At some point I opened my dream eyes and saw a shallow, long, white plastic sink on the wall. It occured to me that I was dreaming because that doesn't exist in my room, but it didn't "click" until I got up and reached for the knob. At this point there was a shift in my consciousness that almost threw me off balance, like flipping a switch. I walked to a nearby mirror on the wall and experienced what people say -- the properties of my face were changing and twitching, especially my nose, jaws, and lips. I didn't say "clarity now!" like I usually do, and I really need to stabilize. I had some feeling throughout my dream body, but felt numb, so I started slapping my face and pulling on my lips, tongue, cheeks. I was incredibly focused on engaging my tactile senses. I tried to summon my dream totem associated with stabilizaiton, but for some reason I didn't have pockets. I decided I would summon a DC to help, so strangely I called out the name of an acquaintance from high school (I haven't even consciously thought of this person in years). At first I called aloud, and I could only get out the first name since my voice was garbled as it always is. So I used non-verbal commands! I looked towards the doorway and she appeared! It was awesome to see this work, as it's only worked for me in the past in a semi-lucid. I think I told her to give me a massage so that I could feel my body better. She had a serious face on and nodded agreeably. I was wearing a red t-shirt and a thin, dark blue jacket like the band kids used to wear. I started to take this off, and sat back on the bed as she approached, at which point I woke up.

The first thing I did upon waking was an RC (I've been trying to train myself to do these at each waking), but it wasn't a dream. I was really pissed at myself for not thinking of the ways I've stabilized in the past ("clarity now!", breathe in and focus on senses, pry eyes open, etc.), but I was happy to have an LD after about a week-long dry spell. I reflected on what I could have done better and visualized it, then MILDed again and went to sleep.

I had a chain of FAs/DILDs at this point*. In the first, I was in a lit version of my bedroom. I got up, became lucid, and walked around briefly before losing lucidity. In the next, I'm in a grocery store on a higher staircase. I see a lot of DCs around the corner of the opening, and I look at a clock that says "08:00". I become lucid, feeling off-balance like before, and walk around the display, looking at some bread before losing lucidity. In the next dream, I'm on the street of my childhood home looking at a large white column in the middle of NOG's yard (one of our neighbors). There's moss or dirt up to about shoulder level on the column. My sister and mom are behind me and commenting on the small car parked in middle of the yard, trying to make out the license plate. I become lucid and start looking at some huge leaves on some plants that appeared spontaneously. We're looking through the leaves, arguing whether the license plate is UWP 117 or 116. The dream fades slowly out and back in, then fades completely.

From here I had a series of longish NLs:
I have a collection of wood carvings/sculptures. One in particular is of Spyro, the others are small people. The house I'm in reminds me of a previous vacation house.
There is a mouse running around the backyard at my childhood home. It runs up to the door and allows me to pick it up. My parents' dog and mine both just sniff at it when it approaches. It's almost cartoon-like, but is very real. We all fall in love with the mouse. At some point my sister finds a "water snake" which looks like it's breaded with panko bread crumbs until she places it in a bucket full of water and cleans it off (now it looks like bread dough). There is a 1ft dark green toady that walks through our back porch in the midst of all this, as well as some small slugs. My mom is sad/angry, lashing out passive agressively (this is practically a dream sign).
The next dream is in an urban fantasy setting (by this I mean full-out fantasy that just happens to pass through some urban sections, not vampires and werewolves in modern clothing). I am tasked with delivering something. I have to walk around these long, curving, somewhat cyberpunk blue corridors in the middle of the city. I'm wearing peasant's clothes and have a sword. Whatever it is I'm delivering is in a brown sack (possibly the remains of something or someone?). I have to double-back at some point (this could be a dream sign, going down the same path twice). Eventually I arrive at the base, which is a fraternity or sorority house. I meet with the buyer/receiving party, and they say that it's not what they expected. Don't remember much after this and my pen ran out of ink, so the world will never really know.



Overall, it was a pretty good night! Summoned a DC and learned to use non-verbal commands. Will need to practice and visualize how to stabilize VTA (visual, tactile, and auditory) senses more.

*Because of their short nature and the fact that they were pretty much chained together, I'm going to count all of these short lucids as 1 in total, for a grand total of 2 LDs tonight.

Aug 28 2018

I'm in my childhood church. On the altar there's some kind of human sacrifice of women going on. I remember also being around the sound booth (I was here a lot as a teenager). There are scenes in the youth room and parking lot as well, and they're all very dark, but I can't remember what was happening.

I'm in college again, but my curriculum is changing. I'll have to take a lot of advanced math classes I didn't have to take before. I'm really concerned but my fiance is trying to convince me it'll be easy, she starts drawing squiggles with her pencil on some paper in some sort of parallelogram (squiggles all going out from one point or line). I consider changing my major to Psychology, but I'll have to start with Psych 113 (whatever that is).

Aug 29 2018

As I was falling asleep, I did progressive relaxation, thought about a couple of new mantras* to see which felt right, and then started meditating on my breath, focusing on the tip of my nose. After a while I realized my body was mostly paralyzed. I decided to make the most of it and try to WILD. When I first thought of this, I got some pretty in-depth HI and imagined visuals, very vivid. But after that I spooked myself or something, and I couldn't get it to the same level of vividness for the next thirty or so minutes. So I MILDed on one of my new mantras and eventually moved and broke the paralysis.

In the first dream I remember, I was driving around my WL car. It was hard to handle (like trying to legally drive a car in video games) and I kept bobbing and weaving and turning around. My viewpoint was shifting between first and third person. I was driving around a warped version of the city I live in, and ended up running some stops signs or red lights. At some point some cops pulled out of a parking lot and started following me, but didn't turn their lights on. I lost them and went to an interstate ramp, but I didn't want to get on the interstate for some reason, so I was stuck between the ramp and the exit (it was on the left, whereas they're usually on the right). I had to wait for the lanes to clear out so I could back up and get off the ramp -- quite stressful. I think this happened twice.

In the next dream, it felt like an FA although I don't think it was. My dog was in it, which is odd because although I see him all day (probably more than my fiance) I've only ever seen him in my dreams once. We're in a darkened bedroom/living room combination. I walk downstairs and we're talking about somewhere we need to go. I'm possibly worried about an intruder? Slight shift and I'm going outside, I open the door and my dog almost makes it out but I grab his hind leg and put him back inside. Before or after that I caught him eating some crumbs off the ground.

Scene shift again and I'm sitting on something or laying on the grass on the side of the house, looking up at the sky. I notice some lights in the sky, like heat lightning. Then (separately) I notice I can see lights on the clouds, and realize they're coming from my phone! Even with dream logic I'm amazed that my light can travel so far to the clouds from my phone (I recall a similar experience from my childhood with a high-powered search flashlight). I try to shine the phone's light on a tree that's hangning overhead, and I see the patterns of the leaves on the clouds above! I also notice 2 moons, then 3, some redder or foggier than others, but mostly the same size. I wouldn't call it semi-lucid, but I was seriously questioning the world. I think I should try to add looking at the sky to my dream routine, since most of the time I'm looking at the ground or my immediate surroundings, and seeing these inconsistencies may help with getting lucid.

In the next dream I'm in a fitness center or some similar place. I'm sitting or laying down in these lanes, aiming my feet to sort of louge through the lanes. This is coupled with a video game-like view with arrows showing which direction I should go. At some point I turn around and lie prone, trying to go backwards, but my feet are dragging so I have to manually push myself. I'm sort of in a cobra pose with my back underneath this large pullup bar type thing (black metal wrapped in foam). Eventually I reach the end with a lobby or something similar (carpeted, reminds me of a Chuck E Cheese). I see someone I went to school with who I didn't really know, and I'm sort of embarassed. I say something stupid like "I'm having a Shiatsu massage**". She responds with something nice but is clearly weirded out.

The dream shifts again and I'm in some kind of locker room. Another less-than-acquaintance from HS is there and is trying to convince the coach that he should recognize/remember him. He kept saying "I'm Double-D! Don't you remember me?" and the coach humiliated him. I think my dog may have been eating crumbs off the floor here too.



*"I am a master/natural at lucid dreaming" - meh; "I look at my hands and realize I am dreaming" - solid; "I calmly take control of the world I've created" - good for focusing on stabilization, but it's a mouthful.

**Of course I pronounced "massage" the british way, probably because I just watched S1E3 of Black Books, "Grapes of Wrath", which is arguably the best episode of anything ever.

Aug 27 2018

In my first dream I was in a compound of some sort with steel floors, walls, and ceilings. It reminded me of the early Fallout games. There were some doors with alternating red and green lights on them (stop and go, not Christmas). The ones with lights felt like they held danger behind them. There were some NPCs but none got too close and I think I could see grey status bars/informational popups when my vision hovered over them. There some connecting tunnels with walls that were like large fractured thin chitin or shell material. I kept having to go the back way through this facility so I would knock down the barriers, but each time I came back that way, they would regenerate and I'd have to knock them down again.

The next dream, I was in a bomb testing facility. My fiance, parents, and I (along with some anonymous coworker DCs) were standing atop a huge white metal ball-shaped plant. There was an "exhaust tube" a few feet away and each time the bombs would be detonated, a huge faux mushroom cloud would emerge. But it was as if the mushroom cloud itself was the bomb, rather than their being some actual explosion. I went third-person and showed myself leaning my face very close to the exhaust jet as another one exploded, and said "It's perfectly safe!" My third-person view changed and I was high up looking down on the clouds. They were wisping away sort of like those leaf tornados that spin up on the sidewalk sometimes. These wisps would carry on for a short while on the desert dunes.

Finally, I was in a large white building reminiscent of the fellowship hall at my childhood church, mixed with the middle school building at my old school. In the back there was a kitchen, going forward a connecting hallway, and through there was a huge white room. To the right there was a large open hallway, and all the rooms had high ceilings.

I'm sliding around on my socks through the different rooms on the white tile floors. I see one of my neighbors, and some girls from high school. They are all happy that L (fat girl from high school) was made prom queen. I suggest a toast with Nestle Drumstick ice cream cones. I think I toasted to "taking a bite before you toast".

In this dream, I'm my early childhood self, and might be set during my childhood as well, but there were some moments where it seamlessly transitioned to my adult self today and then back.

The dream starts off during childhood. I'm at my grandmother (dad's mom). I'm upstairs playing with legos. I make a very complex construction, a sort of house, but then I run out of lego blocks since it's so large and I get bored. I go downstairs and talk to my grandmother. She says "why don't you play outside? the weather is nice", and I go outside.

I run around the neighborhood. The neighborhood has a sidewalk and a few bushes and grass patches, but as a child, I perceived it as being much larger and complex than it actually is, and that's the way I perceived it in the dream. Instead of just a linear sidewalk, it's a sort of square maze filled with sidewalks, bushes and grass, and with no street in sight. The weather is warm and it's all around a very serene experience.

At some point during that, the dream seems to suddenly transition to the adult era, and I get a phone call on my android. It's an invitation from my colleagues to go dine somewhere in the evening at the expense of the company, and I agree to join. During dusk in the maze, I look for the exit to go to the restaurant. By the time the sun is down, I'm in the city and I find my colleagues sitting at a terrace table, waving at me to catch my attention. I join the table, and opposite of me sits my old colleague, who I worked closely together with, but left the company years ago.

While we were waiting for the food, two colleagues were having an argument about something. At some point I get sick of it and I logically analyze their arguments bit by bit, trying to find the core essence of their disagreement. I point out a contradiction. One of them says, in a comically formal yet non-sarcastic tone, "thank you. I'm glad we were able to resolve that."

The waiter comes to our table and asks us individually what sauce we want with our steak. I had pepper sauce in mind, but my colleague sitting opposite of me says "I'll take the azuré sauce". I never heard of that before. The waiter was now awaiting my response, and in a snap decision, I also went for the "azuré sauce". A bit later we were served our meal. On the plate was a steak lying in a pool of this mysterious azuré sauce. It didn't look very delicious. It was thick and looked like something brown with small pieces of carrot in it, whatever it was. Anyway, visually it was quite reminding of fecal matter. I smelled it, and it smelled very bad, like vinegar. I wasn't gonna like this, but I picked that sauce, so it'd be awkward to pretend that I don't want it now. Fortunately, there was only a thin layer of it on the steak, the bulk of it was beside it. I took the steak with my fork and moved it out of the sauce. This left a hole into the sauce because it was so thick. I ate the steak, trying to stomach the little bit of sauce that was on top of it. When we were done eating, I felt a little nauseated. I said to the colleague "well, that sauce was certainly interesting... what is it made of?". He laughed, and he said "well, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I'll just say this: ever since you took that steak off of it, it's been trying to slowly crawl off your plate!". I looked at the sauce again and saw 2 fisheyes in it with 2 small tentacles between them. I lifted this sauce up with my fork and saw that underneath, there was the foot of a seaslug! Then obviously I felt even more nauseated. (I'm on antibiotics for my illness right now, and that's actually giving me a bit of nausea in real life, that probably explains that part of the dream)

Anyway, after that highly unpleasant experience, we were drinking. I was drinking vodka. The location of the terrace seems to have changed a bit at this point, and we were now sitting by an alleyway. I was telling my colleagues about the warzone in Ukraine. I pointed out to them that actually, we sitting right near the border of Ukraine right now, and if you look carefully into the alleyway, you'll see some broken floor tiles, and that's because of all the bombing going on.

I drink some more vodka and get a little drunk. Because I'm drunk, I accidentally push the bottle off the table as I tried to grab it. The bottle fell and shattered, and I saw a cop coming for me out of the alleyway. I said "oh shit" and ran away into the streets of the city. On the street was a random low brick pedestal. I stood on the pedestal and I pretended to be a street light. The cop was deceived, was guarding around for a little while, and then left. I got off the pedestal and thought "haha, what a dumbass!".

I continued further down the city and I reached the pedestrian bridge. The world seems to have transitioned back to childhood mode at this point. When I was a child, I loved that pedestrian bridge, because much like the neighborhood sidewalk, it seemed much more mazelike to me than it really is. So again, I'm strolling around on a bridge-themed maze hanging over the Schelde river, trying to find the way to the other side.

When I reached the other side, I was near my old school, and I saw a bulky guy there. He looked like a bully, but he was strangely friendly as I talked to him. I had a double feeling about him, though. At some point, he sighed "well, time to go back into my bunny suit, I guess... one more hint: try to get inside!" I didn't know what he meant by any of that. He walked away into a small garage. The gate closed, and opened again shortly after. Out came a monster, and he was like the bully, but he was a large evil cyborg rabbit. He bottom half was a mechanical contraption, like a robot or tank. But top half and the head was a very bulky bunny's. A boss theme from Metal Gear Solid 2 started to play. He went toward a place that contained 4 tablet pc's on pedestals. He took out a flamethrower and started to melt them down. I realized that I needed to protect these tablet pc's, so I took out an AK47 and shot him, but he was invulnerable. The tablets all broke and I saw a game over screen.

I was frustrated and looked up a walkthrough on the internet. The walkthrough says that he's actually a puzzle boss and there's a secret way to beat him. Before he gets into the gate, you can throw your cap at him and he will be mind controlled. So that's what he meant with that hint! He was trying to help me in stopping him from destroying the tablets by proxy. So I tried that, threw my cap, garage gate closed and opened again. This time, I was in the bunny's first person view which had a terminator-like hud. I was now controlling his mind. However, I wasn't sure what to do to kill him. I couldn't use the flamethrower on myself. I looked around in a bunch of closets and found my mom's perfume closet. I saw a bottle of perfume in there, and I thought "if he drinks this, he's probably going to get very ill and die". I had him drink the perfume, became a bit nauseated again, but I realized that that wasn't enough to kill him. So I grabbed another bottle of vodka and chugged it down all at once. Then he became very drunk, and fell off into the depths. I beat the boss battle, and that's where the dream ended.

I had quite a few dreams, all were in a dark and cold environment.

First I had a quite abstract and hazy dream about counting the numbers 1-9. Each time a number was counted I would be rocketed higher inside a cavernous underground quest. Then my parents were there doing something. And something about a cat too :3

2nd in a poky kitchen, a hippyish woman with lank blond hair was kindly asking if I wanted something she had made. I was unsure about her due to her close proximity, fitting the thing around my neck and face. Also I was unsure as to whether she was giving it to me or trying to get me to buy it. It was made of a star, a cylinder shape and a babies bottle filled with flavoured water. The liquid smelt nice and comforting, I imagined it had cinnamon in it. After she had been talking for a while I noticed she had bags in cupboards and around filled with these products. I felt sorry for her that she had not managed to get rid of any.

I moved away into a corridor adjoining the kitchen. I needed to pee but found I was now a woman with dark almost shoulder length straight hair. I went into one of the cubicles but felt I was being watched so I came out. There was a guy, a stranger, standing just outside the bathrooms. When I went out he went to grab and kiss me, I did not respond as this felt all wrong, I wasn't a woman.
Next we were outside, and he was hiding me as he lay with lots of other soldiers on a pile of sandy earth. He was however unable to hide me and I was pulled up by whoever was in charge when a load of uniform men with guns turned up.
They were wearing uniform that looked like dark grey or black, world war two with rifles.
I was pushed over to a wall where I slumped and was shot at. I had clearly been shot a few times, as there was a load of blood that had splattered.

note: I never know whether to categorise these as nightmare as I don't remember a lot of fear but I know before I have just not recalled the strong emotion. So I just put it down as that as there was a lot of emotional turmoil in the last dream section.

D1 - i'm wandering around somewhere and decide to take a short cut through a mown grass area with a bank in the middle. The bank its circular and for some reason I can't go round.
Inside the cashiers office is also circular in the middle.
A man there is dressed in a grey tench coat and trilby hat and gloves.
He askes me the way to a rl street.I think about it. I have a vague idea of where it should be in relation to the bank but realise that this is a dream and so am not sure if it will actually be there.
I tell him where it should be hoping im right.

WBTB
D2 - I have acquired to mannequins one small and one large, both male. They come alive and start playing.
The bigger one has darker hair and features and accompanying personality. They are playing shadow puppets on my bed. It is a small child's room with white furniture and light by a couple of lamps.
They both get skewer type blades of grey steel. The dark one looks at me close up deciding whether to skewer me but decides not too.

WBTB
I go back to same area
D3 - The puppet toys have come with me to a garden (looks like end of my my parents garden)
There is a large weeping willow tree. Children are dancing around in a circle. I think it is me and my brother and sister when we were little.
The long haired blonde girl now looks like someone else I know and is upset as her bf is being taken away at knife point. He is dragged with a knife to his throat by a gang of boys.
She has her bf replaced by one of the boys from the gang.
I am now watching through the puppets eyes and nearer ground level and can see the skewer in my hand.
Feeling the intent to stab someone, but I resist it and turn the dream back a bit so it doesnt happen.