All DJ Entries

Morning of November 17, 2014. Monday.



My family and I have apparently partly moved into what seems to be the second floor of a large apartment building. However, this does not seem to be final, as it seems we still need to be “approved” again as a final step (which does not really make sense as we are already living there and had been for perhaps a week). There seem to be two unknown women who own the building.

I am in the main living room but there are also strange visitors from other apartments with us for some reason. One of them is the infamous YouTube conspiracy theorist VH from Kentucky. Another seems to be the heavyset male who makes a brief appearance in “The Butterfly Room” when he shouts up at whom he thinks is the tenant. Another may be the delusional alcoholic I knew in La Crosse who was always talking about prairie dogs coming out of mirrors. A couple others are also very unusual characters, but unfamiliar.

Interestingly, I seem to be okay with these people for a time. However, VH eventually starts playing around with a cigarette lighter to “illustrate” some sort of point he is trying to make about something. I grab him and the lighter. I press his face down near the corner of a bed and have control of where the fire from the lighter goes. I am, using telekinesis, spreading the fire over VH’s face and upper body while yelling at him - but it does not kill him and I am able to not only stop other things from burning up completely (such as the bed sheet) but also restore it as the fire moves across it each time. No larger fire occurs and the flames do not get out of my control. The precision with which I control it is quite interesting though I am not lucid. Finally, I just tell everyone to leave and never come back.

Around this time, the owners come in. They do not seem to appreciate the ruckus I caused. I ask her if she knows who VH is and soon tell her about him. It still seems we will be living there. We look at an empty room that has new, attractive veneer everywhere, including areas of the wall and on tall cabinets. It almost seems as if I had done this recently (though I do not remember doing so), as the woman does not seem to know about it, though it remains a mystery.

She asks me if I will be okay with the noise in living here, indicating that people come and go and walk through the main halls at all hours of the day and night. I tell her how I am used to living in such buildings (which is not true at all - I only lived in a smaller apartment building over a tavern around the age of five, not counting the usually quiet residential boarding house as a young adult). I think about people making noise in the hall and slamming doors in the middle of the night, but this is the only place available at the time, apparently, so I accept the situation.

In reality, I had never “flamed“ VH on YouTube as many others have, though I have not seen any of his videos in a long time. I am mostly learning to ignore people on the Internet with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, regardless of how abusive these people are and their continuous need to manufacture drama while playing the victim.

Non-Dream Dream

Dream 1:

I believe I had this dream twice in a row last night - as if I did things wrong the first time through and then I had an opportunity to fix things the second time. I only remember the second one. I am in a house in a narrow kitchen with white tile. There is an evil woman (possibly a witch) there who I am supposed to battle - I think it is a sword fight. There is a large crowd and they are all on my side because apparently this woman is terrorizing our civilization. She is an older woman - possibly in her 50s - and in my dream I think she is my mom (although she bears no resemblance to my mother in waking life).

We go out into the back yard and the setting resembles something out of the show Game of Thrones. There is a small concrete section in the back right corner of the yard. The woman steps onto this section with her back to the stone fences and is ready for battle although she has no weapon. Instead of a sword I have what appears to be a stop sign. She gets into a position where her arm is somehow laid out on the concrete. I walk up to her holding the stop sign by the metal post and start hitting / smashing her arm with the sign portion. Initially she laughs at me. (This is very similar to the scene in Game of Thrones where Daenerys ties the lady up to the wooden structure and sets her on fire. The lady initially says she will not scream but ends up screaming later). After several smashes it begins to hurt her but she has too much pride to show any weakness. I continue smashing and she eventually breaks and screams "please stop!" She stands up and I continue smashing the sign over her head until her shoulder ignites. The fire spreads across her entire body. She drops to her knees and changes into a younger woman and starts calling out for her mother.

Dream 2:

I am at work in a lab. I am running western blots on my DEG project looking for BR. The results show crystal clear degradation products - 16 bands to be exact. I ask SC if the number of bands correlate with splice variants.

Dream 3:

I am out in the woods with RL and AM from work. I have a high powered rifle with a scope. There are two people guarding a bright blue orb that I am supposed to destroy. I am hiding in the bushes next to a larger group of the enemies. I sneak around this group and go up a hill to where the guards are. I take out the one of the guards with a single shot and then I have trouble shooting the other one. He is a much better fighter. Just like in "Dream 1" I get a do-over like in a video game. This time I try to take out the good fighter first. It takes me two shots but I get him, then I easily take out the other guard. In order to get to the blue orb I have to sprint across a 100ft section where I am susceptible to being shot by the larger group below. I make it past and start shooting the orb as the large group closes in on me. It takes 3 shots to destroy the orb.

Dream 4:

I am on a red planet with no plant life and no structures. Just dirt as far as the eye can see - similar to what I imagine mars would look like on the surface. There are giant rolling hills everywhere which makes it difficult to see very far. There are enemies scattered around and they can be identified easily because wherever they stand the ground turns black.

Dream - Lucid

I was in a building doing some sort of computer test that involved two computers. I then had to go somewhere in the house I grew up in to get something. I was walking towards the bonus room when I saw my room was very dark. Inside of it, on my bed, was a huge, red bull, a humanoid bull. He was glowing red. It was like he was a demon or Satan. I was quite scared by this and quickly went past my room and into the bonus room. I don't remember what I needed in there, but as I was heading out, I dreaded passing my room. I could now see a red glow inside my room. I looked in further, and saw that the bull was holding onto the leg of a lifesized doll of...me. It kept repeating him pulling and her resisting, like animatronics. The doll's face looked terrified. I was terrified.

I then had an FA in my bed at our apartment. I was towards the middle of the bed, and I couldn't see my husband. Where was he?? I was still terrified from that dream.
"Dallas?" I said. I then saw him. Phew. But still, something didn't seem right. I think there was a cat there on the bed with me, standing very close, but it wasn't my current kitty. I realized I was having an FA and tried to wake myself up for real.

I then really woke up and saw my husband next to me. I wondered if I had talked in my sleep and said his name.

~

I was watching home videos that my mom had taken years ago. There was some weird intro with my mom showing all her shoes nicely put away in her closet. She was talking over it. It looked really good, actually, almost professional. Then there was a clip of me as a toddler sitting on the floor. I said something to the camera, though I don't remember what. I realized Dallas was there with me watching this, and I was not wanting him to see all my embarrassing home videos. -_-;

Then it was showing a play that my cousin Ben was in. It was supposed to be before I was born, I believe, though I was thinking about the ages of everyone in the play; they appeared to be in high school, which, IWL doesn't add up to their ages now, but I didn't think too much more about it. I somehow decided that it was right. Anyway, my cousin was a main character. The play looked to be set in the 1800s or so. My cousin was playing an older gentleman. He was in his house. There was another older man there as well who spent the play convincing him to collect and store a lot of this white powdery substance that was in bags. Throughout the play, you didn't know what the substance was. I assumed it was cocaine. Towards the end, though, it turned out to be some kind of peroxide chemical powder, "sodium peroxide" is what it was called. All these crates and bags were in the man's living area. The man wouldn't sell it or do anything with it like the other man wanted him to, so he took it all outside and blew it up, which is not what the other man wanted him to do.

Then, the blow up site was my room in the house I grew up in. My bed was in the place it was when we first moved there, and had the tie-dye bedspread I had when I was 10 or 11. I had covered the crates, which were on the bed and scattered throughout the room, with some kind of fluid so they'd burn better. I then was having second thoughts about blowing the room up, but it was too late; the crates were ignited. Someone else, another girl, was there with me, and I was frantically trying to find something to put out the flames with. I thought about grabbing the hose from underneath the cabinet in the bathroom (no such hose IWL), but remembered that water to a chemical fire was only going to fuel it. I noticed that my bedspread was starting to burn. The other girl was just standing at the bathroom sink, being no help. It was kind of like work for some reason. I didn't know how to put out the fire.

18.09.2014

Magic Spell - Rigoperro (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was at my house and it seems that my wife was practicing magic, Harry Potter's style. She had a wand as well and she was trying to make one spell that fixed things to work.

I figured that since I am psychic and I can channel, I can could cast the spell as well if I asked for help to my spirit guides. I knew from hearing the spell that I had to chant "rigoperro" (No idea what that even means... but lol...)

I went to a mirror that has a dented edge and I tried to fix it. As I chanted "rigoperro" fire came out from my hand and burnt the mirror. My wife told me that my hands were always warm and I could not do that spell.

I wanted to look for my selenite wand:

https://www.biomathealth.com/images/...nite/wand.jpeg

But it was buried in some drawer and I could not find it. I wanted to find it and master that spell.

After this, something with a girl who came out of nowhere and then a false awakening.

I was with Kristy and a few other people at my old school in Venezuela. People were bullying Kristy so I started comforting her. We left and I was with a group of people that didn't wanna go help with something. When we got outside, the sky was black but as bright as day. It looked so beautiful that I did a reality check, counting 8 fingers in one hand and looking at my watch, which was different. I didn't snap that I was dreaming and carried on. I continued and some backpacks caught on fire so I got a hose and extinguished the flames. I was telling myself I was a firefighter.

There's this vampire who went through a bit of a rock star phase in the 60s. During that time he had this assistant who would occasionally arrange for the vampire to wake up with one of his groupies locked in the same room. The vampire resents this. He compares it to throwing a live, venomous snake at someone - neither the snake nor the victim has any choice in the matter, the snake is used as a tool.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

This woman, thoroughly soaked by the rain, just completely drenched, has just been put into the back seat of a car. The man who's just gotten out of the car and insisted she take it is now standing in the rain. After just a moment the woman gets out of the car again, makes this sort of exasperated sound, drapes her coat over his head to keep the rain off, and gets back in the car. The coat is thoroughly drenched so this does absolutely nothing to keep him dry, but he gets this big lopsided grin.

There's another guy standing in the rain with him, and my first impression - before the woman had gotten back out of the car - had been that the two men were enemies of some kind, but that the first guy was obliged to go along with him for something. But looking at the second guy again now, on second thought I'm thinking of him as a friend.

The scene changes to show the woman and that first guy again, parting at a rural train station sometime in the 1800s. I'm thinking about how during the scene in the rain, they hadn't remembered each other from this time. Part of immortality - it's important for them to forget every so often.

False awakening. I try to write down this past scene, and write that there were three different ways things could go for that pair in the rain. The best route for them is associated with fire.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm a man passing a large arched opening in a stone wall, and as I look at it I remember that someone had asked me to fetch something for him from down here. I hadn't intended to, but since I'm here anyway I might as well. I go inside, into an immense underground stone dome with a dirt floor. It's empty, and large enough that it's difficult to see the other walls, but I'm aware there will be a door off to the right leading to a place where things are stored. As I'm walking, I hear a voice accusing me of enjoying blood. I don't see a physical source of the voice, but I expect he'll show himself eventually. I sort of laugh at the accusation but otherwise ignore him and keep walking. The voice continues: "If you are one of the evil dogs, care to know as much as I do?"

05.09.2014

Disney Tower Terror Mayhem (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This is a very weeeeeeeeeeeeeird dream... I tell ya! I haven't been watching any Disney movies lately, despite I love them... but haven't been watching them... so who knows where this comes from. In addition, I had a lot of struggle to write it down, I almost would fall asleep writing it, and might have written some with my eyes closed.

I entered a tower with a few friends, and each of the floors of the tower, had like an entire world, a world of Disney movies that's it.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...9_ACnrs1PTMc6D

I wanted to go to the highest floor and then, I appeared into a scenery that appeared to be Mulan. (I have not even watched Mulan, I just know the characters.) And a little red dragon asked me to help him from some emperor. I wanted to help him get out of there, but as I was trying to find a way out, suddenly some emperor started to follow me. Might be this one:







And I felt it was better to get my butt out of there for a reason. So I walked through some doors without success. For some reason, this small dragon started to breath fire everywhere, and I felt like the world world was going to consume, including myself, so I tried my best to flee and I finally walked through a door and got into the stairs of the tower.

As I ran down the stairs, the dragon was gone, too bad for him. I entered another door and I reached the world of The Little Mermaid. I was walking through this world (despite being underwater

It seems, that my challenge and lesson here was to keep the water within (I know this does not make a lot of sense.) So as I was exploring this world, I saw how the water was starting to vanish and I needed to make sure this world stayed full of water and save all the characters life. I did not see Ariel, but I did find Ursula, who was chanting a spell that was going to hurt me big time:







I considered it would be the best to just leave this place, as Ursula was really creeping me for some reason. It started to be hard for me to move, despite the fact I was walking, there was a very strong current that felt like a super strong wind and I had to struggle to be able to keep walking and quit the place.

As I reached a door and I exited this place, I felt the water coming out from the door, and getting into the "real world" where this tower was. I could also hear the sound of fire burning up the top floor of this tower, so I somehow ruined two Disney worlds already or I was unable to save them.

As I walked down the stairs, I heard sounds of angry soldiers, who were trying to find out what was going on with the Tower. I assumed they would blame me for everything, so I hided inside a closet, or what I thought it was a closet, when it was another door to another world instead,

This time, I found myself in Alice in Wonderland... like if I needed more madness! I was told by a voice that I needed to converse my sanity here. The world started to melt by itself and the very existancer of where I was, started to be a very weird experience. So weird that I do not recall what happened here.







The next thing I recall, was exiting this world, and the word itself where I was (The tower) started to suffer like distortions... like the reality was becoming more and more twisted here.

I ran downstairs to the ground floor and I saw some of my friends, who appeared to be happy, enjoying a great time with Aladdin and the Genie of the Lamp.







There were getting a party ready, and there was a huge table with a lot of settings. I started to feel that it could not be good that characters from Aladdin would be wandering around the tower, after all, each Disney movie world was locked behind a door and not wandering around the tower.

I was going to ask my friends what was going on, but then I saw Alice running freaking out and screaming and climbed a different set of stairs I did not see before. I figured that I left the Wonderland door open and things were getting even messier. I started to hear, "Off with their heads!!!!!!!!" In a very loud voice. I figured it would be the Queen of Hearts, mad for some stupid nonsense reason:







She was the last one I wanted to deal with, so I run through a third set of stairs I found, and I found myself on the top of another tower. As I looked outside the window, I could see a very cartoonish garden and I could hear lots of screams and threatening calls coming from the tower. I wanted to hide somewhere before I was spotted and I saw another tower, where the Queen of Hearts was messing up a drawer, looking for something or for someone. She was very angry.

I felt I was trapped in this tower and that if she decided to climb to it, I was going to die, as I had no way to scape. I figured what if I jumped through the window, even though probably not even my head would fit. A little after, I woke up.

Dream

I'm outside in a neighbour hood street with my Brother and a few mates (Daz and Josh?). I think we stayed overnight, sleeping in an old car. The car looked like it was from the 80's or 90's, maybe an EL?
We made a camp fire near the back of the car. Someone said it was a stupid idea. I'm assuming it's due to the car could possibly catch fire. I begin to throw something over the campfire. I think it may have been petrol.
I'm holding a piece of plastic in my hand and I hold it need the flame but if doesn't light for me straight away, but eventually it catches fire. I thought this was odd.
I walk off to gather some firewood in the neighbourhood. I can see a lot of logs in people's front yard but I assume that they're either too heavy or embedded in the ground. I come across some sticks and begin collecting them.
I make my way back to where the car is and there's a man being aggressive towards us all. I'm unsure why this man is trying to fight us. My friends are fighting him and I coward out and don't help my friends. I keep my distance from the fighting.

I'm now at a house party in the same neighbourhood. The inside of the house is very tight. It consists of a hall way with multiply rooms to the side of it.
I'm at the front room of the house and I can see Carissa Barrete. Her job is being Britney Spears. I also see her Mother who is also talking to me. I think one of them find me attractive and fancy me quite a bit.
I make my way into another room where I see people. I'm trying to find something that belongs to me. Clothes? Someone in the room points out where my clothes are that I've been searching for.
Now I'm in another room, where I can see a screen. It's showing the medalists of the Olympic Games. Notable one is an MMA fighter Marina Shaffer. At the bottom of the screen it shows how much money they make for winning the medal, some higher amounts then others. I have won 2 olympic medals and hope that I get to see myself on the screen, so others are impressed with my success. I hope that maybe someone has recorded the telecast so I can watch over it.

I see my brother through the window next to a car. The car looks a little beat up and not looked after the best. Brother seems to be working on it. I notice that my Dad and a few others are near the car also.
The car bonnet is being held up by a dick. My brother must have two dicks and is using his spare one on his car. I look back at the dick again and notice that it's tripled in thickness. It's the size of a brick.

Dream Fragments

1. I'm sitting at a table with Daryl. I see that he's smoking. I'm a bit surprised by it, cause he's recently giving up smoking. I ask him if he wants the deck of smokes that he told me to hide from him, but he would only use for mixing with weed. He says ok, sure.

2. Dad calls me dumb or uneducated. I agree with him on the basis of mathematics due to my arachnoid cyst troubling me, but insist that I did well when I was younger and symptom free. I tell him that I could do my 1-12 times table no problems. Josh tells me to do them, so I attempt my 4 times tables. I start off decent but start going on reverse as I get higher.

Dream - Lucid

I was at the house I grew up in by myself. I went into the dining room, where I was apparently cooking something on the table. I noticed that there was a puzzle on the table next to whatever I was cooking, and it was on fire. There were other things on fire as well. I froze, trying to figure out what to do. I decided to just pour water on it. I did, and it put the fire out. I examined the puzzle pieces on the table to see if they looked burnt, but they didn't; they looked completely untouched. Upon further examination, I thought I saw some small black spots on the pieces that had been burning, but I may have been looking too hard.

I was telling someone about the fire, saying that my cat had also caught on fire (I don't remember this happening in the first part but I remembered it as I was talking on the phone as if it did actually occur, if that makes sense). I believe I was on the phone. I told them that I had poured water on the flames to douse them.

~

I was working at the bakery, but it wasn't anything like the bakery IWL. It actually looked more like a food court place at a college that I worked at very briefly. Cherie' was working there with me. We were there at night closing. We were cleaning the floors.

There was a point where I was on a computer, filling out this thing to send my friends free socks. I could pick the color and everything. For one of the pairs I sent, I picked a muted teal color. I sent some to a guy I knew in college named Mason. I also sent some to my mom and Jeremiah. I "remembered" my mom loving them. I finished sending them. I asked Jeremiah, who was on a computer, if he had received the socks yet. I don't remember his answer. I hoped that everyone liked the socks.

~

I went back into the coffee shop, because apparently, I was switching jobs again. I think I had already gotten hired. I was there to talk to the managers. I went inside, and it looked so much different than IWL. It was more long-ways, with a back counter that was also quite long. The floors, walls, and ceilings were dark-colored. It was quite busy. I was sitting at a table close to the counter. I then got up and for some reason, a lady that was sitting by the wall started to spout off her order to me. She wanted an Italian sandwich, and she was also telling me about how much meat she wanted on it or something. She asked what breads were good, but she used a different wording. I told her we had white and wheat, but I really liked the Italian 5-grain. I don't remember which bread she got, but I got up and went behind the counter. I had no idea how to fill her order. Why had I even taken it?

One of the managers, a middle-aged man with dark hair and a dark beard, then came up to me. He seemed super fake-friendly to me. I told him I had worked there when the previous owners owned it, and it was like he didn't even hear what I said. He completely ignored me and started talking. He was talking slowly and looking away from me as he talked. We started to walk back to a back office. At some point, I met his wife who also owned the shop now.

We were then back out in the cafe', and I was sitting down at the same table again. The guy and his wife were both there now. I wondered if this was an interview, or if I already had the job; I couldn't remember. I also wondered if that woman had ever gotten her sandwich. She was still there at any rate. I imagined that she had probably complained. I then again told the guy that I had been there when the shop first opened, and I was there for four years. He said
"Oh really?" He really didn't seem that interested.
I then asked him what hours I would work, if I would open or close. He said I'd mainly be closing. I told him I didn't really like closing, but I preferred mornings. I then asked him what their operating hours were, and he said 7am-11pm. Ugh, closing that late? Really? Eff that.

I then was getting up to leave, and I had my doubts about them hiring me. They really didn't seem too interested in me, and I had made that comment about closing.

I was then walking somewhere in a back alley with Dallas. I was really pissed about the owners being such arrogant dicks.
"What a faggot!" I said very angrily as we walking. I threw something down on the ground. (IWL I don't ever use the word "faggot". It's interesting that I chose it here.)
"You'll just have to get another job," said Dallas. He handed me a paper restaurant cup of soda. I threw that on the ground, and it was very satisfying for some reason; it hit the ground just the right way and made just the right noise. I said again
"What a faggot!" I was really pissed.

I woke up from this dream kind of confused. I didn't open my eyes, but kept them closed as I thought about why I would quit my bakery job because I love it. I didn't want to work at the coffee shop again. After a little bit, I started to realize that I had been dreaming, and that wasn't really what was happening. I felt immensely relieved.

~

I was supposed to start work at that coffee shop, but for some reason, I had to get surgery on my lower back first. It had something to do with being inside this weird, cylindrical room with some big metal pole inside of it. It was some kind of mixer or something? I'm honestly not sure, but to operate it, I had to get something in my lower back fixed.

I was then in the cylindrical room, holding onto the metal pole. There was something on the bottom of the pole, some kind of platform or something, that I was standing on. It started to go up. I was quite close to the wall, and hoped that I didn't get squished or hurt.

I then decided not to get the surgery. Why bother? I didn't really want that job anyway. The airport called me and I cancelled my flight to Switzerland, which was apparently where I would have to get the surgery. I still wanted the meds though; they had already written me a prescription for three types of meds, one being a pain killer. Mk went to pick them up for me. She texted me something about them as she was doing so, asking me a question about them so she made sure she got the right things.

I then received a phone call. I looked at my phone, and it was from a country called "Nigiri". I knew that was where my connecting flight was supposed to be. I answered, and the guy on the other line had a very thick accent. He was trying to confirm my flight, which was boarding at that time, and I told him I had cancelled it. He had me hold on for a second, then he told me that it would be a $15 cancellation fee. I told him that I had cancelled the other flight earlier, and I had gotten no such fee. I don't think we said anything else.

I then was talking to Mk via text again. She was asking me which dog breed she should pick out. She gave me two options. I picked one, and then she came in with two dachsunds that were mixed with some other breed. I was playing with them and hugging them. They were so cute and fun!

I then was driving to the liquor store. It was a Sunday afternoon (liquor stores are closed here on Sundays IWL), and the parking lot was packed full. I had to drive around to the side to find a place to park. I figured it was the after-church crowd.

I was at a mall getting all my gear from work. I knew I had to get my hair cut so I went to see if a hair place in the mall gave military discounts. I kept walking and suddenty was in a forest with a scoped rifle hunting some strange creatures near a lake. Cops showed up and started chasing me and suddenly, more people started chasing me also. I had a lot of guns and it reminded me of GTA. I shot at the people chasing me as I ran up a hill. There was a helicopter with Air Force insignias all over it and I knew it had been downed for a long time, so it became an attraction. When I got to the top of the hill, a little girl told me how, at the bottom of the a river, there was the 'Ultimate Gun'. The river she was talking about was dirty and with black oil. There was a way to enter and exit the river without dying and the girl showed me how. I grabbed the gun that was made of plastic tubing and killed people with it. The way the gun would kill people, is that it was open their mouths and the oil it shot would go into their stomachs and make them explode.
The area changed to a factory and when there was only 2 people left, I almost got caught a few times. Eventually. I killed everyone. 2 girls, which I recognized from plenty of previous dreams, were sitting down and they said "Now you die" and the whole world exploded. I remember opening my arms, embracing the blast. Everything went black and I said "Now I wake up."

Visiting the McKittrick, I've been following the taxidermist - a bald man with sunken eyes, looks starved and intense - as he talks to a young blonde man with a heavy jaw who works for the hotel, very earnest type. When it's time for the final banquet, they meet up with two women in clothes from the Victorian era and accompany them down the stairs - but I come to realize their final scene won't be with everyone else at the banquet at all. The women dance down the stairs, floating from one bannister to the other. Standing with them on the bannisters, so close to the ceiling, I'm very aware of Hecate's influence on the floor just above us.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I've just walked away from a room where I'd been talking to a woman. Now I'm standing in the ruins of a building, on a street where a lot of buildings have been destroyed. Nearby there's a large brown rat on top of a pile of rubble, and I have a sense of fellow feeling as I watch it. I don't really want to go out into the street - it's much too exposed - but I don't see any way around it. Once in the street, I catch sight of a woman in a white dress two or three buildings down, behind a wall of iron bars. She sees me and jumps up and down to get my attention. "Nick! It is Nicky, isn't it?" I recognize her, we're close. I (or rather my POV character here) use several different names - 'Nick' is for all intents and purposes my (POV character's) real name, but I haven't heard it for a long time, so this is something of a reunion. But I'm debating whether I want to take the time to rescue her from behind those iron bars.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I've been walking around backstage at a sort of club in the 1930s or so after leaving the audience of a show on stage in the main room. Talking to various people, overhearing conversations by dancers. I'm just now leaving a smokey room where two men have fallen asleep. I've been looking for someone, a specific woman. There's a disaster or a tragedy that's about to occur here, and I have to find her first.

The show in the main room ended while I was backstage, and everyone's straggling out. In the lobby, I come across a large man I remember meeting earlier. He's putting on his coat. Near the doors, his wife and daughter are waiting for him, and he introduces them to me. I recognize the daughter as the woman I was looking for - she's just a kid. I hadn't been expecting that she'd be a kid in this era. I kneel down to introduce myself to her eye to eye, using the name "Deacon Willfire" - it's the fake name I've been using here in the past, but Deacon is similar to the name I'll be using when she meets me as an adult in the future. She's very shy here, can barely look at me, but I'm aware that meeting me here will make an impression on her, and the similar names will help that memory along when we meet in the future.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm in that kid's room, standing by an empty fireplace that's so large I could easily fit in it just by ducking a little - it's grabbing my attention. But I'm also talking to the kid, saying to her, "A 300-year-old vampire for an imaginary friend?" (I'm referring to myself. She thinks I'm imaginary.) "You're trouble for sure." I'm thinking about the way I'm meeting her at various times in her life out of sequence. From her perspective, proceeding through time in the usual linear fashion, I've wound up being someone she grows up knowing, someone who's been around for most of her life.

Ritual: Went to bed at 2am, much later than I had intended. Wanted to wake up between 4-4:30 if possible so I could make a sandwich for my husband to take on his flight. Didn't set alarm, only intention; if it didn't work, that was fine. Woke up promptly at four so got up and went to the kitchen. Then I realized if I didn't stay up to give him the sandwich he would never know it existed, so in the end I didn't go back to bed until after he left at 5. I repeated my tasks aloud a few times to make them easier to remember, using simple keywords: "eyeball, calcifer, fairy tale." Wanted to give SSILD another fair shake after recent lack of success—been falling asleep too easily. After this hour-long WBTB I arranged a ramp of pillows to elevate my upper body and settled back to do SSILD, supposing that the half-reclining would help inhibit sleep. It did—and I realized I had been semi-dozing rather than really sleeping when I got up again at 5:40 and decided to dismantle the pillow-ramp to get some proper sleep. I didn't notice REM during any of these sleep and half-sleep periods so I wasn't optimistic, but I did a couple SSILD cycles on my side before drifting off to sleep fairly quickly. It was 6:30am when I woke up for real (after FA) and began this account.

FA: "....it ignored me, and I felt silly talking to a fire."

Okay, guess now I have to start over. Wrote half of the account up in FA. Which is funny, because when I woke up I did sense that I could probably re-enter the dream state but decided not to because I wanted to write a solid report on what I'd done so far. And here I had felt so responsible and industrious! I wrote down quite a bit but only remember the last line word for word, so I reproduced it above. It's interesting that it is worded in the past tense. My dream reports often swap randomly between past and present tense but the present tense predominates.

DILD: I was in my bedroom in the half-light of early morning, and I heard voices outside the room. This confused me, because no one else should be home right now. One of them sounded like my brother, but he shouldn't be here. And I could hear another voice, a man's voice I didn't recognize. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand, thinking I'd dial in "9-1-1" and have the call ready to go if needed before I investigated further, in case it was burglars or something.

The phone wasn't working. It seems to be stuck on the calendar app, and even this is in some weird and confusing format. I keep pressing the main button to try to get back to the home screen so I can reach the page to dial from, but nothing helps. I still hear the voices and worry that the intruders might come into the room before I can get the phone working and then I'll have no recourse. Should I go outside to the back patio, so it will be easier to run away if necessary? At some point the absurdity of the whole scenario finally strikes me and I wonder if I'm dreaming. Since no one is around to see, I do a quick nose pinch. I can breathe easily. So I am dreaming! Oh good, there were tasks I needed to get done! I realize that since this was a DILD, I'm probably already fairly well-integrated into the dream state and check my impressions. A bit of roughness as I begin to move but not too bad, and the dream feels stable. I don't feel the need for further stabilization as long as I can avoid letting the paranoia of waking wake me up, so I put it out of mind and walk rapidly to the kitchen.

I've brought my phone and figure it might come in handy at some point later on, so I try to slide it into the pocket of my skirt. Trouble is, I'm not wearing a skirt. I make the "sliding into pocket" gesture a few times, intending a long skirt with pockets to manifest, but it doesn't and the phone falls to the floor. Whatever. At least the pattern is in place, so I feel confident that I can get it out of my pocket later if I need it.

I grab the bread from the kitchen counter, noting that it is a packet of round pita bread rather than the sandwich loaf that is there in waking life, and head out to the patio. Which task first? I love the idea of Howl's Moving Castle so I decide to start with that one. First I try to summon the castle directly, not through any special method, just willing it to approach on its own legs. It doesn't appear promptly, so I start with plan B: conjure a fire, call it "Calcifer," and feed it until it becomes strong enough to build the castle from the ground up. The first part should be easy; I've practiced conjuring fire before in this very spot. So I hold out my right hand and concentrate on creating a flame in my open palm. There's just one problem. It is raining, quite heavily actually. Typical dream perversity! I'm trying to fill my palm with fire, but meanwhile it is filling up with water. I ignore the dream's little joke, and keep concentrating on the fire.

Sure enough, I shortly begin to feel the heat and see the brightness of the flame. I set it on the ground and start feeding it chunks of pita bread, calling it "Calcifer" and trying to coax it to respond. It grows larger at first, but doesn't show any sentience, and now the rain is causing it to dwindle despite my attempts to feed it. I decide to continue this experiment indoors, out of the rain. I pick up the fire, just carrying it in my hands, go inside and set it down again on a flat stone ledge, about two and half feet in width and height (the interior of the house no longer corresponds in any way to RL). I feed the fire and continue calling it "Calcifer" to try to get a response, but it ignores me, and I feel silly talking to a fire. I go outside, careful to take the fire out again with me so as not to leave it untended in the house, and fly up in the air before releasing it. I instruct it to go seek out Howl's Castle, hoping that it might reappear at some point later point in the dream.

I return to the ground, once again in a place recognizably like my back patio, though it is no longer raining. What next? I realize the eyeball task should be quick and easy, if I can stomach it, so I ought to knock that one out of the way. I consider going inside the house to use a real mirror, but I don't want to waste time so I stand outside the sliding glass door to the kitchen and rely on the faint reflection of myself I can see there. There is nothing unusual about my reflection—much less so than usual, actually. When thinking about this task in waking life I had decided (for the sake of safety and squeamishness) to try to remove the eyeball in a more hands-off way, simply raising my palm and trying to pop it out through will alone, but now that I'm ready to go I don't even remember that idea. Instead I lift my right hand to my right eye and just start digging in there. I feel a momentary discomfort, enough to make me think, "I'd better be damn sure I'm dreaming!" before I feel the fingers slide smoothly into the socket with little pain, and this reassures me.

The eye pops out easily, but it is attached to a surprisingly thick, gross, fleshy stalk. Even at the time I realize that my experience has probably been colored by other accounts of this task I've already read on the DV thread, some of which mention similar stalks. The stalk is inconvenient and ugly so I keep pulling until the eyeball breaks free, then turn it around to inspect it. It looks remarkably like an eyeball. I had been hoping that it would transform into something cool, like an orb of glass or even a jewel. But nope. It is a disturbingly life-like eyeball, with a distinct iris and pupil and even a bit of red tattered membrane where the stalk had been attached. When I aim the iris and pupil toward me, they already look dead and unseeing, so it doesn't occur to me to try to use this eyeball to see with. Also, although I don't take note of this at the time, in retrospect I can report that there was no subjective change in my experience of vision; I was still "seeing" as though with two intact eyes.

I had meant to look at my reflection again after pulling the eye out, but I forget to do so. Instead I'm absorbed in inspecting this very ordinary-looking eyeball and trying to find any notable details to report. I do observe that the iris seems to have changed color: from the initial blue it has faded to a drab brown. It is still kind of creepy to be holding my eyeball, so without experimenting further I pop it back in. Luckily no difficulties there, and only then do I remember to check my reflection. I look normal and still don't notice any changes to my vision. I feel a momentary regret that I didn't remember to try to transform the eyeball into something else before putting it back in, but I feel reasonably satisfied with the task so I'm ready to move on.

Now I'm down to the last of the three tasks I'd planned, and I feel a bit apprehensive. In one way or another, this damned Hansel and Gretel idea has been eluding me. But I still have my bag of pita bread, so I get started: my plan is to start dropping breadcrumbs as I walk, hopefully find myself in a forest, and see what happens from there. I re-read the story a few weeks ago in my copy of Brothers Grimm, but I haven't tried to flesh out the intended scenario because I want to give the dream leeway to respond creatively to my breadcrumb trail. So I start walking across the patio and dropping crumbs, and now I just have to figure out which way to go. My original plan had been to start on the street in front of the house, which had once transformed into an ideal forest in a previous unrelated dream, but now I'm behind the house and want to get started right away rather than have my plans potentially disrupted by a detour. It's okay, I'd planned for this too. I figured the hill behind the house might be wild enough that I could start climbing it and work it into a suitable forest. However, now when I look in that direction, I see a paved concrete footpath that leads between suburban houses with neatly trimmed lawns. Dream is being perverse again. In the opposite direction is a second path, smaller, with a similar suburban aspect. Which one will lead me sooner to a forest? Both look completely domesticated. I figure I'll just start with the first one and try thinking "forest" as I go. I start off, dropping my bread crumbs, but with no warning I wake up—or out of the dream, at least. As mentioned above, I sensed that I could re-enter the dream state but decided to write my report instead, was under the impression that I had gotten up, and wrote for quite a while before waking up for real.

Date: 08 Aug

Pre bed: 1/2 cup soy milk, 350 mg arginine (combo)

Wbtb: 1/2 latte, felt discomfort due heat which made it harder to concentrate. I tried doing 1-2 ssild cycles to relax, but mostly gave up due discomfort.

WILD: First was a transitional stage of me in bed and my body rotating, as I was trying to figure out which hands I'm moving. Kind of blurry memory here.

This later switches to another scene in parents' old bedroom where I appear feeling rather floaty and unstablish. In front of me are wooden shelves, so I run my hands on the surfaces multiple times to anchor myself. At the same time a glass case catches my attention, where I can see my reflection - averagely normal with something weird lurking behind. As I turn around to see what it is I am faced by my own doppelgänger and she is somewhat aggressive. She throws herself on the ground initially in some sort of a unexplainable act. Then approaches menacingly but I put her on hold - at an arm's distance with my mind.

As I manage my own reactions she calms down and now I decide to look at her more closely and make some manipulations. What if I were taller and she is now much taller. I examine her with curiousity but still have a bit of an after feel of aggression so decide to make sure she is harmless. I give the overly tall DC a hug around the waist and watch as she changes features to a different DC.

Then, I see the door behind her and feel like doing some tking. I look at it in order to will it open but the dream slips away. Back to my body and still for a DEILD

DEILD: I appear on the balcony, the one that looks over to neighbors. Quite excited about being here as this brings memories of past non-lds. There is a guy that pushes me ahead (as to move further, him being quite active) as I examine the neighbors' balcony. The dream is rather unstable at this point but I'm glad to have a companion and cross over to the other balcony where there is some sort of mattress, thinking both of us can sit here for a bit and plan the dream.

Forgot the exact words now, but told him something like "let's talk about adventures" or so and was waiting for him to sit. He disappears in the kitchen (neighbors) but then is back again, wearing the same red t-shirt as I make a mental note (resembles somewhat Michael Cassidy).

My voice is barely coming out as I say the adventure sentence and I wonder if it would count if I ask him about the basic task telepathically. But how is he going to answer? Too complicated and I decide to go with normal speech, struggle to speak but finally ask him.

His reply is "Woof" which sounds as if he is barking.

Me: "Woof?", are you sure?

He: Uhum. (as in yes)

Me: Ok, then. So what does that mean?

He: Hoof.

I ask for confirmation and he gives me another uhum. Oh well. The dream soon falls apart. I'm not feeling quite in shape to deild so let it go at this point and after a brief ld review go to sleep.

Non-memorable dreams, something vivid that forgot and then.

LD: I am near this familiar building. Something clicks and I recognize this as place of older dreams. There was a false memory or thought about the place too. I get inside and decide to experiment with door summons to see where they lead. I open a door - there are two DCs coming out of something that looks like a sparsely furnished bathroom. I don't quite like it, so close the door and wait a bit till it changes to try again.

In the meantime, more DCs appear around me and one of them makes aggressive moves towards me. After an initial super strength outburst, which comes out like some sort of a force push, I decide to chill out and try to calm them down while taking a moment to examine my inner state. I'm still slightly apprehensive of them, so try to control my own reactions and feel more at ease. From the tense situation I work on my indifference, relaxing more and at some point I start walking around freely and making funny zen moves (but not the Xanous move alas!). Don't remember when but at some point the dream ends.


Lucid FA: I wake up at home, the room looking very realistic and bf is walking around. I decide to play a bit stupid and ask him if I'm dreaming couple of times as if I've lost my mind and can't tell that this is reality. He reacts almost normally but I am still unconvinced. There's something in his reaction that is a bit off. "Hey, am I dreaming?", I continue shouting as he vanishes behind the corner. A female DC with a dark red cardigan comes in and then there is no more doubt. I feel a bit euphoric about being able to catch this fa as it felt like quite the thing I would have missed.

Contrary to other times when I have entered the other room, it now turns to a different place altogether. At first I don't catch the clues, but after more examination of the classical wooden furniture, it clicks how this place can indeed be the interior of Howl's castle.

Without any intention from my side, I notice that there is a fireplace to the side and the fire is as real as it gets. It dawns on me after seeing it that it is calficer. I approach the dream fire with astonishment for it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. It's not just a regular fire - there is so much light in it, it shines like a little star, while at the same time being surrounded by flames. I feel almost mesmerized by the sight of it and am so happy to have it in the dream.

Spontaneously, I place my hands around the fire and try to absorb some of its heat and energy. As my hands get closer to the little fire, there is slight tension as in heat related sensation but insignificant to dwell on. In the meantime, the fire gets smaller and smaller as if this process is really draining it. I don't want to do away with it altogether so stop whatever it is I'm doing. The thought crosses my mind that I have spent way too long playing around and risk not completing the task because of that.

I face the room and see that the girl is here again. Now she has a pony tail, blue top and and slightly disturbing facial hair. As I approach her, her face clears a bit and I ask her couple of times if she is Sophie, to which she replies yes.
Perfect, now all I need is a door.

There's a small door on the wall that I open, but it turns more into a small window, plus I need to turn the color dial wheel first. I face the other wall where there is a white door and look to see if there is a dial next to it - there isn't. I recall couple of techniques I thought of using in such case, but instinctively pick another one. Bf's DC is just nearby so I ask him to hand me a dial wheel to put next to the door.

He gives me a round knob-like white object that I place next to the door, cover with my hands and start spinning, until the second layer of it starts to reveal multiple colors. Initially it stops on blue, then it moves to orange. I feel like I want to pick a particular color but am not quite sure which one. I rotate it to yellow, remarking to myself this is taking way too much time. Curious whether the outside will be the same as what can be seen through the nearby window (garden), I think it's high time to stop messing with the wheel dial and open the door.

But it's too late - the dream abruptly ends and I find myself in bed, moving my hand and feels like I've lost the opportunity to go back and complete the task.

First thing I remember about the dream I was shopping, first in a grocery store and second in a town near me where I wanted to buy some pastries from the bakery. I don't really remember what happened here though.

Next some guy kidnapped one of my friends brother and also locked up various other people for people to gawk at. I soon realise the situation and start saying that this is completely wrong because humans are not animals and this isn't a zoo. Next some lady came up (who was with putting humans in cages) and every protest I made she would just mimic and I found her really bloody annoying and even said how annoying she was in her face. Soon I was in some field, people were everywhere, including the kidnapper who looked like a teenager wearing a fake beard. I start to trip over or just fall casually and the kidnapper/woman (don't know who) was walking up to me to hurt me.

"I'm dreaming!" I say spontaneously. I soon realise, yes, I am dreaming and told the kidnapper to get out of my dream, which he did. Next I turned to the really annoying woman and tried to throw fire at her, nothing came out though, but the second time round I managed to get a fireball going which was blue and looked really blotchy and not like fire at all. I shot it out and instead of the woman, the kidnapper was in the way but managed to dodge out of the way.

Next I was in a public bathroom, the walls around the toilet were quite short and I wasn't wearing shoes so I had to walk on my toes so it didn't come in contact with the wet and gross ground. After I had done my business, a bunch of year sevens were right outside the cubicle near some kind of shoe-shelf and was talking about getting ice cream sundaes and I was self-conscious that if I stood up to pull up my pants they would see me (even though they could only see my top half). And I woke up pretty soon after that.

I should've done a reality check at that moment, but I've been slacking off in the waking world with RCs (oopsies). But I'm glad I managed to get lucid, I didn't even expect it to happen at all.

Dream signs I've noticed:

Recurring
Sometimes
Rarely


- Flying
- Fire/fire magic
- Talking with no sound coming out
- Turning on light and it doesn't light up the room
- Running, but at an extremely slow pace