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sometime in 2014

The Castle

I woke up in an old castle where i would attend classes that were focused on me finding out what I wanted to do in life. The overall consensus was that I was not happy because I didn't know what I wanted to spend my whole life doing. But I think I began to question whether I really wanted to pick one thing. The monotony of spending the rest of my whole life doing one thing sounded like a hellish existence of repetition. I didn't even want to think about things before doing them at all at that point.

I liked the idea of free choice and pondering all the options and directions to go so I left the class and went downstairs. I heard the door up stairs open as this other classmate came down trying to get me to go back to class. I resisted and went around back the stairs where i saw these glowing shimmering lights. I went underneath into the shadow cast underside of the staircase and reached for these glowing objects but when I was about to grab them they shot out like streamers all around the room. I turned a corner and the classmate kept following me. I knew he was trying to get me back; at this point it seemed like by force. I was getting bad vibes, like the whole thing was controlled and I was in a prison like loony bin where the caretakers where to ones who had actually lost their minds. I ran into a dead end, turned around and the classmate was blocking the way saying I had to go back to class. I told him I had free choice and ran passed him toward the glass doors to the outside. I started to pick the lock looking out through the frosted glass into the green hue overtones of the outdoors, but gave this up and smashed the glass with my fist to save time being that I was being chased at this point.

I ran out across the grass and took an immediate left around the building where people were playing football as my classmate and a few others are chasing me yelling to catch me. The players are alerted and join the chase. I pick up speed and jump a fence into a hedge-maze where I take a few rights and a few lefts until i lose them. Then I realize that I'm lost myself and this feeling of being trapped for eternity sweeps in as I slowly loose consciousness...

I wake up in a bed in a small stuffy room with my mother sitting above me reading off a list of the symptoms that I have like "paranoia, anxiety, depression, deranged thoughts, loss of will, short-term memory loss" She's trying to help but it made me feel like the very act of a assuming these problems projected them on me. I felt like I was being diagnosed to the point that the diagnosis was creating the very symptoms they were focused on treating. The forced help mentality of projected mental health issues was what was in-sighting my paranoia that thereby drove me to jump straight out of the bed and run downstairs, back out through the glass door I had broke. I ran straight this time across into a huge field of old recycled cans. I was literally wading through aluminum cans where my feet wouldn't even touch the ground any more. The cans formed a hill and as I waded on the light became visible as I could see that the cans were piled against a wall. On top of the wall I looked out across a bay with a lighthouse in the distance. I jumped down onto the beach and sat in the lotus position looking at the waves. It was at this point that my body felt weird like I was electrically charged and I knew I was dreaming. I looked at my hands and they started to melt like I was on mushrooms, the overexposed high detail of my finger prints shifting and changing sizes. I looked up and my friend Sarah was here and she wanted to go swimming. I wanted to fly so I began to float upwards over the water as she swam. As I looked down I slowly began to sink further and further down into the water where I sank and woke up in real life to my fellow dreaming black cat Phantom sleeping on my chest.

This is just one of my lucid dreams that I've had that involves my main reoccurring dream-signs:

Getting Lost (Normally underground in tunnels)
Flying/ Falling (enjoy both when falling I like to land on my feet)
Being swept away by water beyond my control
A castle

I'm in a gigantic building, a mix of a old manor and a hospital or a lab. It's a university. I'm in a the great hall, the goes up to the fourth floor with pathways and lifts criss-crossing it. I need to go somewhere, to pickup my bag. I take one of the lift and myself going down instead of up. I walk around, slighly confused to how I got here. The underground is part of the old building; it's nicely decorated. I find a room with a incredible window: something going from the high ceiling almost to the floor, covering the whole wall down to a padded bench with a few cushions scattered on it. It open to a mossy wall, with water dripping from it, with light pouring in a thin, bluish curtain. I stay in from of it for a little while, drinking in the beauty of it.
Then I remember my bag and I leave to find it.
I walk to what looks like a drugstore, with quite a lot of people scattered around. I start to recognize them, and I realize that at leat half of my middleschool class is here, all grownup. We make a loose circle and start to catch up a little, but we simply don't have time. One of them keep talking to me while going back to his work as a cashier. I let him work and start really wonderring how I'm going to go where I need to. Finally I decide to get out of the building then re-enter, to find my way again. I go to the door of the store and I find myself in front of another building, where I know my bag was all along.


It was quite a nice dream, even if I stumbled around being confused about everything XD

I couldn't remember the night before when I tried, so I neglected making a post.

Last night was pretty disjointed. I woke up partway through, trying to remind myself to remember my dream, but I'm not sure I really do. I do remember some stuff, though.

I woke up partway through and considered trying WILD but I was tired and making up for sleep debt over the week. And I just didn't feel like putting in the effort. I'll definitely do it tonight, though.

Anyway, I recall a fragment about... having Skittles, and eating them, and then I was digging through someone's laundry. I had dropped my Skittles in there.

I was doing this outside, kind of in front of a beach area, and it was kind of dark out but not nighttime. Sort of after sunset but before actual night sets in. And it was kind of cold and rainy out.

It was someone's brother's laundry. All of the clothing was a drab olive, or gray, or black, and there were skittles in them that weren't mine, and I was trying to be careful to eat only my Skittles and not the ones that were already in the dirty laundry, but I wasn't sure if I had accidentally eaten one of those, and it kind of grossed me out. I could sort of tell the difference because those skittles had gross spots on them, etc... anyway, I finally just spat out what I'd been chewing into a paper towel that I somehow magically found behind myself.

Then, some of my friends had moved into some low-rent apartments. They were very nice. There were persian rugs all over the floors, the floors were marble and natural wood, there was a nice fireplace, etc. I was amazed by how nice the apartments were. They were a 2-bedroom and even had a nice balcony. My mom complains that "people trash them" so not all of the apartments are this nice.

I wonder if it's possible for me and my boyfriend to rent one of these apartments, but we probably make too much money. I go outside for some reason that I don't remember, and walk a few blocks. I pass a little outdoor eating/socializing area with black cast iron tables and chairs, and think that it would be a nice place to hang out with neighbors. I'm trying to get back to mom's apartment, but realize that I don't remember which one it is or where it is, and it's very dark outside. The complex is mazelike, and I wander around for a long time looking for her building.

Then, I dream about a movie that all of my friends and I have been anticipating, but it's also actually a TV show, and it's about a bunch of underwater people/mermaids. And the special effects are TERRIBLE. The actors just have badly painted face makeup, and the whole thing feels half-assed and unconvincing, and we all feel ripped off. I recall a scene of one of the actors surfacing from beneath the waves and the makeup just looked so terrible, and I was very disappointed.

The next dream... now I am some sort of mermaid, and I live in a high rise, but I'm stuck there and don't have very much freedom, and the whole place is run by some millionaire.

I stand in front of a glass window and look out at the city. I am also floating, because I have no legs.

I sometimes steel a very small plane... but it's not a plane, it's more high tech, like a flying bike or something... and go fly around.

Flash back to another dream I had that this one dredged up:
I am in an apartment complex. It's a very run down complex. I'm going up and down the stairs, wandering around in this place. The carpet is very dirty, the walls are dingy, the whole thing is run down and it smells like food someone's cooking... that sort of general "I smell someone's food" smell where you can't figure out what they're cooking and whether or not it smells good or nasty. I remember the carpet being kind of... yellow brown...

So I go up these stairs, looking for some apartment, but I'm also not really looking for anything. The layout is a lot like an apartment I lived in when I was 13. It is not exactly dimly lit, but not well lit either. The stairs are claustrophobic and narrow and enclosed by walls. And for some reason, there are no doors for apartments. I get up to the top and there's a ledge against the wall running between the stairs, and nothing else.

Then, possibly in the same dream, I walk into an apartment building... it is dark inside... with the same sort of layout, but also falling apart.

And now this leads to recalling a fragment of yet another dream. I don't know if I've written about this one already, though.

I am in a sort of hospital place. Possibly a mental institution. The architecture is very prison-like, bars across the windows and everything is very washed out. I recall going down some stairs and gaining lucidity as I did so. I know this is a dream, but I'm not sure what to do about it. I go through a door at the bottom of the stairs.

So last night, I had a lot of trouble with inductions... again... I'm just out of practice. Frustrating, but I'll get back in the swing of things. I tried to go directly to Rome, but I'm just not familiar enough with the location, so I'll try my house next time.

During my second attempt, I ended up with an Out of Body Experience instead of a lucid dream... yes, I know they're technically the same thing, but the OBEs always unsettle me. And I'm always blind during them, since they tend to send me straight into the Void, which I hate. So I got irritated when it happened and just reclined back into my body and went to regular sleep.

I dreamed that my boyfriend and I lived in a different part of town than we do right now... in the dream, we lived really close to my brother. We were moving. My mom, my brother, and one of my boyfriend's friends was helping us. This particular friend is extremely chill, never gets upset over anything, is even more patient than my boyfriend is (patience of a saint), etc. I was in the car with him, and my boyfriend was in my car with my mom and brother.

We were moving to a different section of the city... maybe even a different city further south... in any case, I lost the address of the house we were moving to, which was sort of like a ranch style duplex thing, and I don't have the directions either. The siding of the house was white. Houses in my dreams always tend to be white, for some reason.

Anyway, so we get onto the wrong on-ramp, and we pass my boyfriend and my car and aren't able to turn around to join/follow them, so we're on the freeway straight to a different city (and no off-ramps along the way). His friend is getting progressively more irritated and pissed off. I've never seen this guy get pissed over anything, ever, and he kind of reminds me of one of my cousins as well, so I think this is hilarious and start laughing. Which makes him angrier, which makes me laugh harder.

I was such a dick in that dream.

Dreamed I was being sedated so people could "train" at doing it... There were people reclining in a long row with their heads wrapped in white gauze, and theur clothes were all completely white. The whole thing was very brightly lit and felt very sterile. Watched a woman - a pretty brunette with an oval face - be partially sedated and then her head was wrapped in gauze and syringes were inserted into her face really close to her eyes in a way that made me cringe. I didn't know how much of it you would feel. Then I was next... But it was some kind of ruse and they were actually planning on killing me or something. But they couldn't completely sedate me, which was a huge problem with their plan.

That's all I remember.

Then, I just remembered a fragment of a dream i had months ago. I was walking through a city with two male acquaintances, both pretty tall. Both of them worked for Amazon as tech people. We kept walking by alleys that smelled horrible, like full dumpsters and raw sewage. At one point I lost them and had to cut through one of those horrible alleys to catch up. It was between 2 tall brown brick buildings and paved with uneven bricks, and just generally gross. I think it was kind of raining, too.

I was panicking about losing them was because they were my roommates, I had just rented the room, and I didn't know the address of the house, even though I knew it was nearby (at the end of a cul-de-sac). I had the key, but no clue where it was, and I was freaking out about never being able to find it - at least, for tonight - and having nowhere to sleep. I didn't have their phone numbers, either, so I had no way to contact them.

I came out at a place that was a border between thick downtown development and a suburb. At that point, the sky was clear and it was nice and sunny. I went up and down the street until I finally found the two of them.

I recall calling my mother because I was upset and freaking out. She sounded sympathetic but exasperated by how irresponsible I was.

The house was messy... White siding, poorly painted white door that was a little warped - the yard was passable, with green grass but not well maintained. Lots of natural lighting in the living room.

Anyway, the guys told me how to get there. After getting slightly lost, I found my way there.

Josh May Have Fallen To His Death
I'm with Josh and Dave at a house. People start rocking up, including my cousin Jon, Ben, Tommo. They have all bought Find Surfboards. I go check out Tommo's first, it's huge. It's a different sign to mine, from whah I can see on the packaging. The tail looks different and the logo itself. Once we take it out of box, I realize how big it is. It's absolutely massive, at least 12+ foot. I guess it makes sense as Tommo is a tall dude. The design kinda sucks, due to having his discount printed on the board. I rub my hand over it to see if the discount print is a sticker, but it's not. It's in yellow writing and it's up the middle of the board.
I go into the other room and see that Ben has a box. I figure it's his surfboard ad help him unpack. I soon realize it's a side table for your bed. I didn't realize that Find did these.

Im outside and I can see some surf. It's in a weird location. The waves are breaking cleanly and are a decent size. I imagine myself getting a few of the waves. I see a snowboarder in the distance, drop from the top of the wave, which is up on a mountain. The wave is elevated off the ground. The snowboarder hits the ground nicely.
I'm walk towards Josh's car and he seems to be on a phone call with Rach. They must be fighting, because I hear the door lock. I'm sitting in another car, next to Josh's. I can hear his convocation, and it's about Centrelink payments. I wind down the window and Josh gives me the phone to explain. I can't figure out the paperwork u need to send it to get paid, but it comes to mind sooner or later. I send Rach a picture of what it's called. I can now hear Dad coughing in another car. It sounds pretty bad. Rach seems to have hung up. I think maybe because I was texting her while, instead of talking. A solid Arab guy comes up to the car and says goodbye. I get really good vibes from this dude. I shake his hand. A few people I know come up to him and give him a hug. I get out of car and think about doing the same thing. We begin to move on and I'm walking with the solid guy, I put my arm on his neck and massage if a bit. I ask if he gets massages much, due to him being such a giving guy. We are walking into a work sight. It's a bit dusty and can see machinery and steel structure. Im with Josh and both are looking for Ben, he's working here. I'm following Josh and he jumps straight off a vertical drop. I watch him fall at last 50 ft. I'm helpless and feeling terrified. I expect the worse. I try and get down somehow, but can't find a way. I begin feeling calm and carefree almost, which is odd considering my friends either dead or in terrible shape. I look closely around every corner, incase it has a drop like the other. Some do.

Arcade Zone
I'm tying to get home and am feeling a little lost. I look around and it feels familiar, I think I'm at down Germain's Court. Things look different
I do a RC and it semi passes (nose plug), they Seem quite enhanced. I walk passed Shonnie's and he's on the steps with a women, which is probably Claudia. I hear him say that might be David, but I ignore and keep walking. I see cars at the end the court with people around. It's night time so, it's hard to see who's who . I reach a undercover area and see that my brother is talking to some girl that looks familiar to me. Looks like the girl that I went to school with. I tap my brother on the shoulder and he looks surprised to see me, as if he has been sprung cheating. I look closer at my brother and it's not him. I tell him I've got the wrong bloke. He's all cool with it, and she's I look like someone he knows too. As I am walking away, I see my brother and that girl, near the mistaken identity. Brother walks off shortly after. I get really excited and have a burst of energy. I run down which looks like a shopping centre. I begin yelling out.

I'm at a house now, and I see Dennis.
We're talking about something. He seems very relaxed. I'm sitting down next to Eddy, watching Bro on a car simulator. He's waiting for his Shot, as there's an elderly couple playing. Eventually bro gets a chance.
He takes his time setting things up.

Bro and I are in an arcade centre. There's machines everywhere. I do a RC again by trying to put thumb through hand, which passed again. I stop at an arcade game and try to see if it works without credits. It works. The game has a ski handle that u hold onto and u shoot water at the screen, it's a strange combo. Devin walks behind me and starts encouraging me. I show off and shoot the screen that's not meant to be sprayed. There's people rock climbing close by, and someone looks to be in trouble. They're trying to rescue them. There talking about noises of hitting the ground or bouncing against the wall when falling. The guy doesn't like the sounds if they were to happen. I look up and can't find the guy in trouble, but can see others.

Dream Fragment
I remember betting on Dad's horse he thought would win the Melbourne Cup. Josh asks me to put some money on for him, I'm unsure if I placed the bet or not. I use the money that's in my online account. I don't think I place a bet for myself, as I only have bros money in my account. The horse wins the Melbourne Cup at odds of around 13/1. The return of my bet would be around $1000+. I think to myself that I should ask Josh if he did in fact wanted me to put the $50 bet. I was eager to let bro know that he won.

Side Notes
Almost become lucid but failed both RC. Need to be more thorough with my RC.

5-26-15


I had three lucid dreams last night...actually this morning before waking. All short. I will write details later. Did an unintentional WBTB.

Basically I was lost in an unfamiliar big city at night. I was on foot. My phone was having issues and I couldn't make calls or pull up a map. Finally a lady came by and I was telling her my problems. Suddenly everything I was telling her was obvious. Those were common dream signs. I was dreaming. I immediately took off flying. I rubbed my hands together. I was wearing blue crocheted gloves...which I immediately took off. I also noticed how my teeth felt against my tongue, something that I have never noticed before in a LD. I flew, noticing things and taking off clothing until I woke up.

But then went back to sleep and had two more.

I found myself in third person point of view, witnessing a woman quickly cut oranges while preparing a meal in the oven. After a minute of seeing her do this, I zoom in to 1st person point of view and realize that she could be aware of my presence now. I hid under one of the kitchen counter because I didn't want her to know that a stranger had been here. I pop my head up and notice she was still cooking.

This was a good time to bail, I look around and found her front door a couple of feet away from me. I silently but quickly rush to the door in till I hear her foot steps hit the carpet. I glance at her to see she had just step in to the living room with a plate of food in one of her hands. I must've rush through the door as I went outside realizing that I had forgotten to lock her door. Now that I am outside I took the time to observe my surroundings. The clouds were greatly clouded and dark, appearing to be a thunder storm.

I decided the first thing I should do is look for my family. I ran pass a couple of out of place houses. It was odd, all of these houses seem to be place randomly in the grassy field. There no streets or lights just houses spread apart in the middle of no where. I finally came across a house that look similar to my parents but not identical. It look different enough to turn me away from the idea of entering.

After wandering around the grass more it came to me that I was lost. I decided I should knock on the door and ask anyone if they could help me find some directions. At first this seem like a good idea but I change my mind once I realize I didn't really knew the people around here. There's no telling what may happen and decided my best bet was to go back to the previous woman that had been cooking house to explain my situation.

I continue running pass the houses in a attempt to retrace my steps back to her house. I noted to myself that these houses sure seem old on the outside. Not appearing 21st century at all. After several more attempts at finding her house again, I end up back in back in the large open field. I could feel myself becoming desperate in till I saw a man run pass me in a hurry. That's when I heard a lot of screams below the grassy field. This made me realize that I was on a large hill.

I drop to the ground and began wondering what must be going on down there and why did I hear this just now. I then became lucid once I made the connection with the timing of my emotions. I got up from the ground and pursue the man that went down the hill. I found a bunch of the town folks on the bottom of a rocky shore yelling angry at a man who was holding a woman hostage by the neck at the top of a cliff.

I was then spotted by the mob to where soon one of them order me to be captured. I tried to make my way to the man holding the hostage, but running on pointy rocks was no easy task. It took me awhile in till I could reach him. One of the angry people from the mob grab my arm and not too long I broke free from his grip. I then reach the man and quickly push him down the cliff in till he made contact with the rocks below. I continue to then push the woman all the way down in till she to landed all the down to the rocks.

The mob now close enough to launch a direct attack on me proceeded to do so. One of the members in the angry mob said I was going to get screwed now. I didn't waste any time taking most of them out. I soon reach all the way to the bottom of the hill and they seem to be having trouble keeping up with me. Just as it look like I would have no problems escaping. There was one child standing in my way. He had white hair and was completely in white clothing.

He appear to be dressed like me, the type clothes we wore was very different from the people living here. In his hands was a rather large dice with the one number being mark in red instead of black like the rest label in the dice. Was that his weapon of choice I wonder? Regardless I was not going to let a child stop me right now. I rush at him and threw a couple of punches toward his direction, he made no attempts to dodge and took all the blows.

After that he made several attempts to hit me with his large dice. I dodge and dodge in till the next dodge I slip up and got hit by it on my head. The impact was much more than I imagine it would be. I was knock to the ground and could feel myself sliding in to unconsciousness. The last thing I could hear was the mob cheering loudly. I soon found myself inside father room, the lights were off. I then become lucid and stated I'm not ready to leave just yet.

I open my father door to see the living room lights were also off. I began thinking back about the recent events that just happen. I told myself that yea I should have no problems waking up and remembering all of it. That's when I notice the front door to the house open by itself. I step outside to confirm that it was night and that the sensations I was feeling outside were incorrect. It did not feel cold at all slightly warm. I continue walking up the road passing a few cars park around in till I actually woke up. Lucidity Time: 6 minutes

11/28/14 Epic sex LD. I am walking around the inside and outside of a house and seem to have trouble figuring out the layout and what leads to the backyard what leads to the front yard. When I make my way outside I go through what looks like the front but it is actually a fenced in backyard I guess and the gate leads to another unit I guess it is a duplex. I make my way back through what seems like the back and out onto the street and this whole time its just me walking around. I think that I'm already getting suspicious that this is a dream. I run into a guy out front and something about the previous scenario and something about this guy makes me realize I am dreaming. I float up into the air and get ready to fly but the guy grabs hold of my ankle and I motion and shoot an energy burst at him and he let's go but then another guy comes and I decided to try a more traditional flying left hook. After a few hits I'm able to get away and I fly off. I wonder if there was something I should have stayed there for and perhaps I could have asked those DC's why they were trying to hold me back and what they represent. (But then I probably wouldn't have had the experience that comes next.) I'm flying and the visuals have gone a bit gray on me so I decide to visualize where I'd like to end up. I visualize a huge crowd of beautiful women in bikinis and before long they start forming but not real clear but good enough and I land in the middle of the crowd of beautiful women, and just send out the message that we'll

Spoiler for sexual content:

have one big orgy. It is using something like telepathy but not exactly since this is all happening inside my brain, this is all my dream so of course all I have to do is think what I want to happen! I feel around on quite a few different women before I choose one woman to focus on and she has nice size breasts and beautiful silky skin and her nipples are little bit pale but so beautiful.

She looks like a natural blonde petite and very sexy. There are two sexy Asian women nearby and I will them to come over and

Spoiler for sexual content:

lick her breasts while I have intercourse

with the blonde. They are a little bit foggy but the blonde is not in the least! She is very vivid! I will another woman to come up behind me and hold me and

Spoiler for sexual content:

touch me while I continue to thrust into the blonde.

I notice that the blonde seems a bit disinterested and even at one point reaches over to a pen and notebook and writes a few quick notes. Funny I guess...but I want you at least pretending like you are enjoying this! At this point I actually speak with my mouth and I say I want

Spoiler for sexual content:

you to moan <snip>, it is quite sexy. She does it a little bit and I look around and back down and I seem to lose the visuals but I still have some of the feeling and I continue to thrust

and eventually the visuals come back but I am in a bedroom and the woman is now my wife.

Spoiler for sexual content:

We continue having sex

but at some point my wife says that someone is coming and I forget what name she used but it sounded like someone important. This is one of those moments that can try to pull you away from lucidity especially after the fading transition from that extra-ordinary scene to this more normal setting. The person comes in, she is a butch stocky short haired blonde woman and my wife seems concerned. I say it is ok this is all just a dream and I decide to float up just to confirm it in my head. Sure enough I float up and decided to

Spoiler for sexual content:

pull back out my "ahem" and offer it up to my wife's mouth. She looks at it like that thing has been so many places just recently. It looks significant but slightly flaccid and an image of a child size one

shows up on the opposite side of what is becoming more of a narrowed tunnel vision. Eventually the visuals fade and I decide not to fight it and at first feel like I am in a void but then feel myself back in bed, I've already had a terrific experience and I want to make sure I commit as much as I can of that experience to memory and record it. 238

I'm at work and apparently I drove my car, which I now need to park somewhere and I'd rather like not to have to pay for parking, so I drive off south looking for somewhere I can park on the road. The road very rapidly starts feeling like an out of town road. I even consider parking in the entrance of a wheat field, but decide that I've driven too far from the office to walk back without being late for work, so I turn bank.

As I head back toward the office, I get lost and the roads don't look familiar, so I check on the satnav feature of my phone and realise where I went wrong. I'm on a road called the T3. I retrace my path again and end up coming through a whole bunch of narrow pedestrianised areas that eventually become inside. At some point, my car has become a motorbike.

At one point, my path seems to go over a very narrow footbridge - too narrow for me to go across without all the pedestrians getting out of my way. I consider going through the water underneath as it's very shallow, but am put off by a combination of the idea of driving a motorbike over what will probably be a very slippery surface, and the fact that the shallow water is teaming with tiny sharks!

I turn around and am briefly sidelined by some confusion about whether I'm supposed to be pedaling or not and when I pay attention to navigation again, I'm indoors in something like the mailbox in Birmingham (a mostly indoor collection of shops, restaurants, flats, hotels...) So I get off the bike and push it through. As I head down some stairs there's a scuffle going on between two blokes and one of them kicks out at me so I take his shoe off and throw it over the banister.

We argue a bit and I get bored of that and start looking for the way out. I end up in a cinema where the film is about to start but the adverts are still playing. I try to keep out of people's line of sight as I look for the exit.

I see that a section of wall looks like a screen but I realise somehow is actually a holographic protection covering an exit from the cinema. I step into it and as I do I realise it's just the entrance into the toilets but this is too cool not to investigate!

As I step through the screen, my view is replaced by a cartoon like facsimile of both myself and the scenery. I go down some stairs watching my cumbersome cartoonish feet on the steps and feeling how the view and the feeling are just fractionally out of synch because the cartoon view is drawn with slightly wobbly lines and not quite right angle corners. At the bottom of the stairs, I see a mirror in which I can see my cartoon self reflected. Apparently the system has decided to draw me like a rakishly thin Walter White, complete with the fedora like hat and sunglasses. I notice that I'm actually wearing a beanie hat and cardboard 3D glasses and am impressed that the system has identified what I'm wearing and created a cartoon replica that reflects that but not slavishly.

I notice in the mirror that there a chap behind me to the left who I think is part of the behind the scenes functioning of the illusion but somehow my 3D glasses let me see him vaguely. We chat a little bit about how cool the illusion is and he asks if I've looked at my hands yet, saying they usually have six fingers but they're still working on the rendering of that part. I look at my left hand and it looks like two images of a hand superimposed, both hands have long fingers, one with then curved to the left, one with then curved to the right. The overall impression is of far more fingers than I'm used to!

I switch to looking at my right hand. At first it looks fairly normal, though I notice I seem to have coloured felt tip pen markings. As I look a little harder, I realise that several of my fingers terminate with a further bifurcation into sub-fingers. I note that the sub fingers are made by duplicating my hand in miniature on the fingertips, though how complete the mini hand is varies from a couple of stubby blob like digits to a complete hand from the wrist up. I wiggle my fingers and delight in setting my teeny little subdigits doing their thing.

I decide to wash my hands and note that the pen markings come off very easily - perhaps they were illusory? The chap also washes his hands and while he goes off to the other side of the room to dry them I'm smugly satisfied that my magic glasses allow me to see there's a hand drier directly under the sink.

I head back up the stairs watching my goofy feet again, then turn a different way out of the cinema, ducking down to avoid blocking anyone's view again.

At this point, I have a micro awakening and managed to almost pull off a DEILD but wasn't quite lucid when I reentered the dream.

I'm in what looks like a dingy but dry basement or hidden storage area of an office building so I resume my mission to get to work on time having somehow sorted out the issue of parking. I realise that it's a long way up to the 25th floor where my office is but there's no lift in sight. I start on my way up a helix (*not* a spiral!) of platforms around the walls of the space. After about one storey of climbing, I come across some people working at desks spread out on the bare concrete floor. They give me disapproving looks as I climb over their desks and filling cabinets to get to to the next part of the building. As I climb off the top of a shelf full of boxes, I enter something much more like a house with large white gloss painted doors. Lots of corridors and small rooms give a general labyrinthine feel to the layout.

I come into a room that feels like a living area in somebody's home. There's a chap sitting at a table and a couple of figures I don't really look at but I take to be his children sitting around on the floor and sofas.

At this point, I GET LUCID! Though I have an of feeling that I more realised that I was already lucid (weird, huh?). I say to the guy at the table that if this is a dream then I should try to do my tasks, right? He looks a little confused but plays along. I remember that one of the TOTMs is to put shoes on and tie the laces. I ask the chap if I can borrow some shoes to do the task and he reaches around to get a shoebox from behind the table. Inside are an assortment of odd shoes from which I manage to pick out a pair of red baseball pumps. I fish out a black gym dap from inside the left shoe and put it on. I notice that the laces aren't looped into the eyes of the shoe properly and I don't fancy my chances of sorting that out in dreamland without cheating, but they are in place enough that I can try to tie a bow. I tie a bow in the left shoe laces with surprising ease and as I finish it off I realise that the laces are now correctly threaded through the eyes. Handy. I repeat the process (complete with removing another shoe from inside the one I'm trying to put on) and while I'm doing it, ask of the guy has any fortune cookies. He looks surprised again as if it's a huge coincidence that I want fortune cookies when he happens to have a bowl of them on the table! I explain that this is my deam so if I want fortune cookies, I get fortune cookies. He seems to be mostly satisfied with that but still looks a little unsure.

I shove a cookie in my mouth, it tastes and feels like a stale prawn cracker. I try to pull the paper slip out of the cookie while I bite it and after a few false starts manage to get a bit of paper but it doesn't have anything intelligible written on it. I take another cookie and more carefully bite it open to get to the fortune. This time the fortune is a tea stain coloured mah jiang tile with a Chinese symbol I don't recognise on it. Frustrated at my second attempt being thwarted by a lack of language skills, I decide that I *do* know Chinese and have another look at the symbol. I realise that it means "Fortune" and figure that's good enough! :-)

Next up, I want to try the toilet portal. I go through a couple of doors and find a large white porcelain appliance of a style in fitting with the late Victorian feel of the house. I pull the chain and jump into the bowl. Unfortunately, all that achieves is soggy feet. I try going in head first in a dive but chicken out because the porcelain feels intimidatingly solid!

I give up on the toilet bowl (I should have thought to shrink myself but hey) and scan around for something else to do. I remember that Sensei's competition back in July had a task to transform a DC and decide to give that a go. I go back to the room with the table guy and children and look at a skinny girl who looks about twelve. I tell her to raise her arms sideways and grow some more arms. That seems to work quite well, she now has six arms, though the four extra ones coming out of her armpits are a little small and underformed. Inspired by the slightly odd appearance of the new arms, I decide to see if I can make one of them form into something more impressive.

I will the fingers of one of the new arms to grow downward, which they obligingly do. The thumb of the hand also extends and becomes a head while the descending fingers become a body and legs. Eventually there are two girls looking like conjoined twins who share an arm. Shame I didn't manage that during the competition, eh?

10/20/14

Note: It has been a long time since I have posted a dream. I have been having some serious issues with depression and I have been unable to remember most of my dreams and mostly not cared about the ones I have remembered. I think I am breaking out of the darkness of depression now and I will try to post dreams more often again.

Fall Into Darkness
I am somewhere I don’t recognize, but I don’t really care about that. I feel awful. I hurt inside, my depression is giving me serious problems right now. I don’t really notice anything going on around me, just the pain inside. I finally pull myself to my feet and I look around. The room I’m in looks abandoned. It looks like whoever had been here left in a bit of chaos. It looks like it used to be an office of some kind but now it is trashed. There is some broken computer equipment lying by a desk that is almost broken in half, papers are strewn everywhere, and none of the lights are working, leaving the room only illuminated by a street light outside the window. I don’t pay too much attention to the setting, however, I walk over to the window and look out.

The window has been broken and I am able to step right out onto the ledge. I see there is a city outside, but there aren’t many lights on even though it is night time. I look down and see I am a long way up in what must be a skyscraper. There are people way down there, though there is something odd about the way they’re moving. Because of how I am feeling, however, I don’t pay too much attention to the people down below. I am just hurting so much inside. I know things will never get any better. I’m no good to anyone, and I’m no good to myself, there is only one way to escape such pain. So with absolutely no hope in my broken and dying heart I step off of the ledge and feel myself falling into the comforting embrace of death…

But no… that doesn’t happen. I fall for a bit and then I feel I am being lifted back up into the air. It feels almost like flying, which is an exhilarating feeling compared to the crushing depression I felt just seconds before. I notice that someone has put their arms around me. Someone has snatched me right out of the air, taking me into a strong and comforting embrace… and we are flying! Or it certainly feels like flying… maybe it was just a really high jump because the next thing I notice is that my rescuer and I land safely on the roof of a building next to the one I jumped from. My rescuer sets me down and now I am able to turn around and see who it is. I turn around and find myself staring directly into the blue eyes of Alex Mercer from Prototype.

From the look in his eyes it appears Alex is a mix of concerned and annoyed. He asks what I was thinking when I did something that foolish, do I want to die? I tell him that was the general idea. I tell him there really is no reason for me to continue. He looks at me for a bit longer and then asks if I even realize that I’m dreaming. He says he knows I can’t really die in a dream, but do I really want to? I stop for a bit and look at him, trying to comprehend the idea that I am just dreaming now. The pain inside has faded a lot now that I am here with Alex. He takes me into his arms and says he would love for me to be able to come to the dream state permanently so we could be together more, but not like that. He said he only wants that to happen when it is my time, he doesn’t want to see my life end like that, there is still too much that I can do in my current home world. I tell him there isn’t any hope. I tell him I can’t do it alone. I can’t face all that is against me all alone. He said I am never really alone, he is right here with me. And so is Altaïr… and Hetfield… and everyone else that is in my inner world. And even in the physical world I have my friends and my mom. I tell him that everything just feels so hopeless. He said he can help me with that… and he’ll no longer take ‘no’ for an answer. He pulls me back into his arms and holds me there, it feels comforting. I don’t even realize that he’s actually consuming me until everything around me fades to black and then I wake up feeling at peace.

(dreamed this in the afternoon)

I was lining up for a ticket. I saw Nimz with a few others I'm not familiar with. People lined up (facing in my direction), not sure for what but I was thinking it's for buying a ticket for a ride. It reminds me of the line in train stations. At first, there was only one line, and then there were two. Nimz and his companions tried to start a third one between the two lines, but his companions decided to line at the back of one of the two other lines, leaving him alone in the center. Eventually, he decided to line up behind.

I went ahead. I already had my ticket. I rode the boat. I'm not sure if I was supposed to wait for Nimz. I don't have any memory of us talking. I remember having to put down my ticket at the entrance box. I think my number was 438, close to ticket 420. I sat on the right side of the boat/ship looking at the port, wondering why I didn't wait for Nimz.

One of our high school teachers was a "guide" in the boat. Ms. Barcelona. She started a prayer and I recited along but forgot the words. It's a familiar prayer. After the prayer, the boat started to move. I saw us back away from the port and move towards open waters.

I saw then that the boat was small, probably only about three to four meters high, no more. I was wondering how it will survive the open waters. Then I saw I was headed east or west, but not north. I was aiming for north. I also saw the tall waves, higher than our boat was long, but nobody in the boat was panicking, except for me.

I saw an orange cliff in the middle of the waters, the waves breaking into it, constantly almost-hiding it under the choppy waters but not completely. I asked Ms. Barcelona where we're headed. I expected "Iloilo", but she said "Cebu", which is even farther than I thought. I told her I took the wrong boat: I was heading for Manila.

We were facing another wave, which carried us very close to the cliff, almost hitting it. I told them I had to go down, although I doubted they would go back to port for my sake alone. Fortunately, we moved to a nearby island. As soon as I was near the shore, I jumped down on the sand. I climbed something like a wall or cliff. When I reached about two meters up, I saw there were others on the shore. I'm not sure if they got off the boat like myself or if they were already there.

I went down "the other side" of the wall/cliff and ran on the shore to where I thought some people would be. The surrounding "cliffs" turned to walls and ruins. I was thinking I was in a forest and talking to someone about hunting wild boar, if I'm ready for it. I kept running.

NOTES:

- This was a very vivid dream. At one point, I became lucid, but cannot control anything. It was very quick lucidity.
- I think this one is rather easy to interpret in light with my recent concerns.
- I haven't had dreams this vivid in a while. I've been forgetting to write my dreams.

Very interesting colors and shapes swirl around as my whole experience for a bit. Then I decide to go to a class I hadn't attended in a while. Some sort of English class, I'm not really sure what it is about yet. But most of the term has passed, and I think it's a good time to check in and see what's going on. I walk into the classroom, filled with college kids, and am warmly greeted by the teacher. I'm flattered she is so nice, considering I haven't been to any of the classes until now.

I look for my seat, but get a strong urge to use the bathroom, so I step out for a brief break so I can focus better. I go down a hall, and see a stairway. Two people are in the stairway, discussing where the bathroom might be. They don't know, and neither do I. Instead of following them, I trust my intuition, and go a different route, pretty confident that they will also find a bathroom in time.

I try to go down another stairway, but run into a large group of people, all walking slowly, carrying their book bags and talking to one another. I make my way past them, turn down another hall, and see a urinal at the end. It is strange that there are no doors to the bathroom. It looks to be a room that the janitors must use for something. I go up to the urinal, and am surprised to see that it is actually a sink, with a faucet at the top, and a urinal basin for the bottom.

I don't want to pee in the sink! So I look around and spot a toilet right next to it. I set something valuable down on top of the urinal/sink, and relieve myself in the toilet, keeping careful watch down the hall in case someone comes this way. Two people turn the corner, so I stop peeing out of respect for their sensibilities, mostly relieved so I'm okay, and go to wash my hands. One of the people goes to use the toilet, and I worry about splash back on my item I put on the urinal, but try not to worry about it.

Suddenly, I'm misted by a blast of water spraying from some unseen source. Ah, this must be the hand washing water... I wash my hands in it, careful to let some water pass behind me and not to block the entire jet of water so the people behind me can have some too. But they are more annoyed that I'm washing my hands in that water than anything.

Alright, I better get back to class now. But I'm lost. I have no idea where I am. All I know is that my class room was on the second level of a massive bridge connecting two large buildings to one another. It must be B-Wing. I try to back track my steps and end up outside the building. I know I didn't go outside to get here, but it is sort of familiar, and I think I can get there this way just as well as the other way.

Walking around the building, I approach a large group of people just relaxing outside, laying in the sun, happily talking amongst themselves. There are a few builders taking a break on the hill, eating their food and enjoying the sun right next to the stairs up to B-Wing. I can nearly see my class room through the doors atop a few tall flights of outside stairs leading up to the bridge area. To my right is a goat with long blonde hair, and a rather human like face. She says hi to me, then starts talking to the builders. I'm not sure if this goat/woman speaks English, or if I can understand goat language really well. I am a goat whisperer after all.

No time to ponder that now, I'm late for class. So I walk past all this, shoot a quick smile at goat/lady, and approach the stairs. As soon as I take my first step on the stairs, I get that heavy leg thing. My legs feel like they each weigh 100 more pounds, plus like they're bungee corded to the ground, and are now unresponsive to usual motor control. It takes all my effort and focus to move just one foot up to the next step. There are many steps to go, so I use all my focus and concentration to consciously move my legs to get me up the steps in a timely fashion. My automatic movement part of the brain seems to have turned off for some reason, so all of the motion is now conscious motion.

It seems like it has taken so much time to climb the stairs that the class must surely have ended by now. But I push on anyway to prove to myself that I can overcome this obstacle, and also because the teacher might still be there so I can talk with her. Is it an English type of class?

/// I interpret this as I know the next steps to take in life, but they're hard. Although no matter how difficult they are to take, I can do it, and there's something important to be learned once I've taken these steps. Also, if I weren't so distracted by bathroom things, I could have learned what I needed to by now. Focus!

NLD: I was a stage magician, a white male in late middle age. I have the impression that my character looked and talked a bit like the actor Bill Nighy. I had been doing a really long show -- it started at 6, now it was 9pm, I had just taken a break and had to perform one more brief act before I could wrap up and call it a night. I realized I should streamline the show, this was exhausting, and the audience was probably almost as weary as I was.

I was trying to find my way back to the place where the theatre was located in a huge new building that had been recently constructed for my show, but I took a wrong turn and found myself on the roof. Up there I ran into a colleague who resembled (or was supposed to be?) Gary Gygax, and we commiserated, "We're getting too old for this shit." I retraced my steps, passing a teenager who I asked about something, but his answer was unhelpful.

As I made my way back to the theatre I was carrying a large bag of stiffened canvas printed with a cheerful decorative pattern. I had picked this bag up from the room where I had gone on break. It held a nested series of ever-smaller bags made from the same material. I was planning to give these away as prizes at the end of the show, like we always did, based on calling out random ticket numbers. I wondered if I should give away the largest outer bag as well, or save it to carry the smaller bags again next time. I examined it closely and realized that it had some discoloration around the handle and decided that it wouldn't make a very nice prize because it wasn't in new condition.

Dream 1 - 3:45 am

I'm in a car with friends driving through a rocky area, which has at least 50+ apes on the side of the road. They look a decent size and pretty muscular. I mention to my friends about the muscularity of them.

We're walking up a narrow path when I see man on a Harley Davidson. His back wheel seems to be a lot smaller in size but makes up for if in width. It's very thick compared to the front wheel. I tell my friends that the fire looks weird and they pretty much tell me what I thought about the width, thickness.

We reach the top of the path which has a lot of trees and more paths. I begin to follow Daryl and Germain as we move through the Forrest. I keep losing them as I reach a cross roads and have to figure out the correct direction by feel and logic. This happens a few times.

We're now inside a toilet which looks upper class and doesn't have a toilet type of feel to it. I see a container with food in front of me and I roll some up and put it in my mouth. It looks strange, I don't know what it was. I think it was Germain's food. I yell out to Germain who is still in the cubicle about how they kept getting too far out in front and that I had to guess the direction. Germain doesn't answer back and I assume he didn't hear me. The food now looks like mince meat. I ask Daryl if he had eaten and he says yes. Germain leaves the cubical and starts explaining the track so i wouldn't get lost again. He says there's only one more left turn to do.

I see my cousin David in the toilet and he's near the long seats. He wants myself and Germain to sign a card which will confirm that we're going to my other cousins wedding in SA. It's $300 accommodation if we attend. Germain signs his name in big writing. I follow suit and sign and leave a xox at the bottom.

Friends and I are now in a car waiting for something. I see a car with no roof in front of us. It's got people in it from my AFL team that I follow. The scene is still. One of the players that I remember is Goldsack. I tell the fellas to check out who's in the car in front of us.

I see a scene of another player, Steel Sidebottom. He's in the same car but has 2 Chinese women in the front seats. Both women have funky colors in their hair. He is in the headlines at the moment due to getting caught getting a head job off the girls.

I see a few team members in a musical singing.

Dream 2 - 7:45 am

I'm at a school with my brother and few other people I know. My brother seems to be drunk and begins to start intimidating a guy I know Daniel Jons. Brother eggs on Daniel by telling him to come on and gets into a fighting stance. They're now face to face with brothers back to the wall, when Daniel performs a high kick to my brothers head. It almost knocks my brother out and he's very unsteady on his feet. I get up and try and calm everyone down. Brother can't see and he's eyes look messed up. He has 2 different colored eyes and has darkish bags under his eyes as if he was extra tired.

We walk David home. On the way home we go through the car park at the parkway shopping center. I remember seeing Daniel drive down our estate where we live. He was driving a black lambo. I tell my brother that we may see Daniel again while walking home.

We're looking for a bin for some reason and are walking in the middle of the road. I see a car come towards us which has something long connected to the back of the car, like a trailer. It comes pretty close to us when driving passed. I check the map to see if there's any sign of a bin close by. I couldn't anything that indicates a bin being close by. I bail on the fellas and head home.'

I'm at my old house and I hear my brother explaining what happened to him to our Dad. He gives the wrong story of what happened and I but in and explain what really happened, explaining that he was drunk and started the trouble.

Dream 3 - 8:50 am

I'm outside trying to 1x scope with the sniper. I'm sneaking passed and up to certain enemies.

I'm now walking around a building in a narrow area. It's a shaded area with trees in my view. I see an enemy with his back to me. I think he's trying to fix his gun. I line my gun up at him and try and focus the red laser dot on his head, but it seems rather faint and i can't really see it. Even know I'm only a few meters away i don't trust my aiming without the aid of the laser. The enemy begins to turn around and I quickly bail around the corner but thought he may have heard the noise I made of my feet rustling on the ground as I quickly moved around the corner. I brace myself for the enemy to come around the corner and ready to fire if I have to. I see the enemy come into scene and I shoot him 3 times hip firing, killing him. I see that the enemy has some paper scrunched up in his hand. I'm worried if I open his hand up and grab the paper that I will leave finger prints or some kind of evidence against me at the site. I think I open his hands up and get the paper out of his hands. I begin to realize this is weird and has to be a dream or it seemed very dream like but I wake up before I figure it out.

Dream Fragment:

people are trying to figure out why something is happening or why they're not having the right results. They think it may due to the filthy bed. The stains on the mattress.