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Dream #1 of the Night:
I am up in bed reading at around 1:00AM. Suddenly I hear the front door in my house open and slam shut. I am terrified and begin to scan my room for a weapon but I can't find one and settle on using a sharp pencil on my bedside table. I open my bedroom door and see a young boy sitting Indian style in the hallway. I am taken aback and attempt to stab the palm of his hand. This doesn't hurt him. I notice he is fiddling with a pencil himself. I realize that he is glowing slightly blue and I now understand that he is a ghost and become frightened again. I quickly start asking hi)m questions without giving him time to answer until I come to my last question, "are you a good guy or a bad guy?" He looks at me, reluctant to answer. I am uneasy knowing that he looks so reluctant, so I shout to my parents to help me yell and him to get out of the house and never return. I look back and he is gone.
(I woke up after this, I consider this dream a nightmare as I am frightened of ghosts, especially ghosts of children.)

Dream #2 of the Night:
I go to my ex's house, "N," to collect some of my things. I have so many things there that it is taking me a long time to get them all together. Without notice, people start to show up and Nate whispers to me to hurry up before I embarrass him. People keep showing up and we start to have a party with a lot of smoking. I try to play a game of cards with N and a few others but the game never starts. Later, I go outside and see little boys all around my car. The were out to get me and had placed a bunch of empty juice containers on my car to somehow "get to me." I shoo them away. Even later, the party is over and I am still at N's, kneeling over a dying man. He doesn't want my help so I do the best I can to help anyway and call "Dr. Quantum" to come to the house and tend to the man. When the Dr. shows up and the dying man realizes it is Dr. Quantum, he is suddenly better and stands up. He proceeds to rant to Dr. Quantum about how the doctor owes him money.

WBTB
wake @ 4am
sleep @ 5:30(ish)
200mcg huperzine-a
8mg nicotine gum

I enter the dream knowing I am dreaming...
I have a task in mind, and also open myself to what the dreams wants to show me first.
I fly through a dimly light park at night. There are trees, and I want to fly to a tree and nestle in it. I approach a tree and fly up into the branches, it has no leaves, I realize it is rotting. There is a huge trunk-like branch falling off, and I see that wherever there are big branches, they are falling off because of letter-sized sheets of paper embedded in the trunk, keeping the branch from attaching properly to the trunk. I land on the large "trunk" and it sways and I stay as light as possible so it doesn't break off**. I pull out the sheet of paper and read it, it's fairly clear but I don't remember exactly what it says just that I understand it is a criminal rap sheet. I think, "but this isn't ME!" and I'm wondering about it, when a group of cops show up with flashlights and flashing lights.

I panicked for a moment and started to fly away, then flew down and faced them directly, choosing an open, friendly attitude and emotional tone. I don't remember exactly what we talked about, I explained myself, and they responded in a manner of, "oh, ok, no problem" and left. As they left, I was pressed in from all sides by a multitude of people. I noticed an impulse to fight them, but I let myself feel it and acknowledge it without acting on it while I sorted through appropriate responses and settled on projecting a solid field of light pink love.

Almost immediately they all dispersed and (I might have this mixed up with another part of the dream sequence) I notice one really big guy. I jumped on him and hugged him, really pleased to see him. I kissed him, thinking, "integration".

I flew back to the tree, and wrapped myself around a branch and hugged it.
There is more in between I do not remember.

I find myself standing in a dimly lit room, watching a man sitting next to a teenager who is lying on a couch. They are dark-skinned. The boy is ill and feeling bad, and the man is striking the boy with small, precise BAPS that spark in the dark. He is berated the boy for feeling bad. I didn't really want to be in on this scene, and I ask the dream, "Am I really needed here?"
"Yes" is the answer.
Ok. So I say to the man, "I notice that you are sitting there hurting him and then wondering why he feels bad and getting mad at him about it!" The scene then shifts, and the boy is lying in twin-sized bed next to me on my right, I am on his left side. The sheet over him is cream-colored, pulled up nearly to his chin, the head/footboard are a simple wood fram, similar to mission-style. The boy has now changed to someone more feminine.

I lay my hands on her belly, left of center, and run Frequency 17. She groans a little. Then I move further down her belly, it might have been the womb area, and I say to her, "This is where all of your ancestral money stuff is..." and run Frequency 27 into it. I move slightly as she groans and vomits into a bin on the side of the bed (that is a pale mustard color and looks like those ikea shoe bins that hang on the wall with 3 drawers). I had opened the bottom bin for her...she spewed and filled it up, I pulled the bin out and moved it away, then tried to make another one appear but couldn't so I opened the second one for her, anticipating more spewage. There may have been just a bit more.

I turned to face her, and she was a beautiful woman with broad features that seemed somewhat asian, she looked a lot like my friend Stepha, and her skin was light golden brown and covered with freckles. She had warm brown eyes and a kind, gentle smile. I suddenly wanted to kiss her and have sex with her, we may have kissed (if we did anything else I don't remember).

Another snippet of being in a restaurant that reminded me of a country diner. I decided to fly out through the ceiling and the first time I tried I bounced against the ceiling and fell back to the floor. I laughed and was a little embarrassed and other people saw it. I checked...ok I *did* just fly so I am dreaming...and tried again, this time a little slower and it was like flying through gel. I flew through several layers and I wondered whether I would ever find open space then I flew through one last layer that was like the dome of "the capitol building" and silver, and wa-la, open air.

I flew along and landed in garden that I thought of as "English". Three people approached me, the one in the middle had something that looked like my shower backscrubber that he started to poke me with. I gave him some very firm yet kind command NOT to do that, and the guy to my left reacted very surprised and said, "You are quite the diplomat!". We talked about I don't know what and I flew on.

Without deciding to, I found myself zooming along in outerspace, going faster and faster, realizing how easy and effortless it was and how it was further and faster than "anyone's" been before. A space shuttle flew up beside me so I paused and it stopped and several astronauts disembarked and they all streamed around me. I didn't want to let them get too close, I think they wanted to catch me so I stayed just out of their reach (they all were tethered by air lines to the shuttle.) I don't remember what happened after that, I'm pretty sure it wasn't the end of the dream...I hope I flew on!

There was more, but in the dream I decided that it was really more important to stay in and do the healing and integration stuff I was doing rather than try to wake up to remember it.

***The dream tree to me represents a family tree - and I felt like this dream was showing me that ancestral criminal acts were somehow affecting the tree and disintegrating it. I am adopted, and have had a lifelong terror of "going to jail", even though that isn't something that I was raised with or threatened with, and my bio sister has a criminal history. So, I think I'm going to check in on the tree later, maybe it was enough to just be aware and know the person in the rap sheet wasn't me.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a scientific laboratory. The floor I was on looked like the lobby for a nature center or a church. There were tall glass walls showing a clear day outside. The floors were some kind of deep-red stone, polished heavily. One other window to my left and about 5 meters away from me looked down, apparently, to a basement area, which was dark.

My great grandmother was going down into the basement area to test out some kind of atomic science device. It was like some kind of atomic particle beam ray. It could be used either for scientific purposes or as a weapon.

My great grandmother now walked into another room to my left and went down the stairs. I may have stood on the threshhold of the first room and the room with the stairs. A man and a woman stood with me, though they both stood in the first room. The woman was talking about how once a proton beam was set in motion, it would go into an orbit around the earth, destroying whatever came into its path. This could possibly lead to the destruction of the whole earth.

The man now said, "Hmm... maybe we should get ----- (something like Swami Sarasvati) to talk about that kind of stuff." The man was basically implying that the physics of the machine were basically like the elements of Hindu religion.

The woman said, "Or we could get ----- (some famous Western physicist)."

To make a joke, I thought I'd recommend getting the Play-Doh man to talk. I envisioned holding a Play-Doh ball in my hand and smashing it. This was basically to suggest the destruction of the world, but as a joke, apparently.

I made the hand gesture and said, "Or maybe we should get --," but I was suddenly interrupted by my great grandmother calling me from downstairs. She sounded pretty insistent, so I ran toward the stairs. I called out to the man and woman, still making the hand gesture, "Maybe we should get the Play-Doh man!"

The woman got my joke and said, "Play-Doh man. Oh...!" as if she were going to start laughing.

I now lay on my stomach before a staircase down to the basement. The staircase looked like in a suburban house, and it was bordered by a thin, wooden railing, like for a child's crib.

My great grandmother's voice came from below. She said, "I need you to go get the money. I can't do the project without it." But she also discussed how she needed me to go get the money to protect it from getting into some other people's hands. My grandmother told me that the money was in a place outside of my usual activities. I took this to mean it was in some mansion in a rich neighborhood in Georgia.

I asked my great grandmother how I could possibly get into these mansions. She told me that I wouldn't have as much trouble as I thought I would, and that I should be pretty honest about my aims with anybody I encountered.

There was now a tall, bald, black man in the room with me. He stood over by what looked like a kitchen counter with a bunch of appliances, boxed and unboxed, on it. But the devices were actually weapons and parts to the device that my great grandma was testing out.

The man made some kind of threatening statement, in a smirking way, about how he was going to destroy the whole project. I tackled him and pinned him to the floor. We were down beside a bed. I was on my knees, on the man's ribs. I had him pinned, and he couldn't move. But he didn't seem worried at all. He was still smirking.

He made some move where he was now on his back. He had better control of his arms, and he tried to make some weird move against me. But I managed to counter that move and get control of him.

Suddenly I was "my old self (?)," an old, white haired, German man who had been a Nazi. I had apparently tortured this man in the past.

I lifted the man up and carried him over toward the head of the bed. The walls were grey concrete, like in a basement. At the head of the bed was a single wooden pole, kind of thin. I lifted the man's head up and said, "You couldn't leave things alone, could you? You had to bring the old me back. Well, now I'll treat you like the old me treated you!"

I was going to slam the man's head down on the thin pole so that I pierced his brain through one of his eyes. But I was a little disgusted at the thought of this, and I either didn't do it or didn't see myself doing it.

I was myself again. Some series of events had taken place, the project was completed, and my great grandma was up out of the basement again. A few people were around, like family, meeting after the project. But I still didn't have the money.

I went to look for my great grandma to tell her I didn't have the money. I found her in her bedroom, apparently changing clothes. The bedroom was dim grey.

I called out, "Grandma? I couldn't find the money. I don't know where it is." This actually wasn't true. I was actually kind of too shy to go to the Georgia mansions to look for it.

My great grandma yelled, "Well I told you where it was! Go to a place outside your usual activity. You know what that is. And tell people exactly what you're doing!"

I felt terrible. I was too shy and afraid to do this. I figured I might fail entirely at getting this money. What would happen?

I was now in some kind of bedroom that looked like an exotic bedroom in an Arabian mansion, like in the movies. A bed stood atop a few marble steps, curtained on either side by thin, pink-orange drapes.

Before the bed stood a kind of pretty boy dressed as a girl. He had long, blonde-brown hair and he wore a yellow-green and black striped shirt and a denim mini-skirt. He was apparently Harry Potter.

Harry explained how I could get past my fear and take care of my mission. It took a few minutes before I realized that Harry was wearing a diaper under his mini-skirt. I started to vanish from the room, but I remained fixated on the fact that this transvestite boy was wearing a diaper.

Harry, all by himself, began dancing in a kind of wild but sexy way all around the huge bedroom. I now saw a view from below the floor, looking straight up Harry's skirt, at his diaper. The diaper seemed to be blue, like blue jeans.

I seemed to be sinking lowe and lower. I ended up on some kind of portico area with a group of students and a couple of male teachers. The students and teachers were all Latino and black. The students were a mix of boys and girls.

I somehow figured that since I'd failed at my task, there would be no Christmas for these children. The children, without mentioning me (I wasn't present), kind of sadly complained about this fact.

I felt terrible about this, but I thought there had to be some kind of magical way that Christmas could appear for these children. After all, Christmas is a magical holiday. Suddenly, slightly glowing objects began to fill the air. They were all supposed to be things like Christmas objects. But they were actually things like fast food items.

One of the boys, seeing these items, said, "Hey guys! Don't worry! We've got Christmas right here! Just eat one of these Christmas hamburgers out of the air!" The boy himself ate a Christmas hamgurger. One of his male friends did so as well.

The two boys were suddenly acting like they were drunk or stoned. The students were all walking to some educational site. One boy grabbed on to the arm of one of his teachers, a big, Latino man with long hair in a ponytail, as if the boy were the teacher's girlfriend. Another boy was at the back of the line, bouncing around and acting crazy.

Finally, as the group continued walking toward the educational site, the first boy woke frfom his stupor. He ran back to the second boy and warned him not to eat the hamburgers.

The school group was now of little, Japanese boys and girls. There were two male, Japanese teachers. I was now present with the group.

We were walking into a forest full of yellow-leafed trees. A couple of girls, as we walked into the forest, called out, "Kirei!"

I noticed that the scenery was getting all fuzzy, like a digitized video view getting more and more pixellated. I thought I'd comment on this to the teachers. But I didn't know whether, if I did this, I'd be breaking the Japanese customs of respectfulness.

We walked along a really muddy path. At some point, I had to push aside the stalks of a tall, tree-like shrub. One of the branches touched my face. It was all muddy. I just decided to let the stalks go and not worry about whether I was clearing a way for the students behind me. But just as I decided to do that, it turned out that we were past that area.

The teachers were now turning us around, but we were walking back on a path parallel to the path we had walked out on. This second path was flooded with water, which reflected the blue of the sky. I thought this would be kind of inconvenient. A horse was also standing in the water.

So, I'm at this random location, and I have this ticket that I'm so sure that will be a winner, and I'm telling someone about it. I checked my pockets a few moments later, and it's gone. I start telling my friends to search for it, and one of them isn't there anymore.

Some cop guy comes up and tells me if he were in my shoes he would just kill the guy who stole my winning ticket. During this time I can hear over the radio that the winning amount will be doubled. I'm kinda mad, but I start thinking "well maybe I didn't deserve this money anyway".

Just then I hear an explosion, and incredible hulk bursts through a wall into the room I'm in. Right now It looks like we're in some sort of restaurant because of the number of tables around, but there are a lot of walls. He's trying to kill me in the same manner as the berserkers in gears of war do. I'm making last second left turns so he ends up running past me, as he smashes through several walls.

I found huge gun and I was going to use it on him, but I found out it had a delay. He rushed at me again, knocking tables everywhere and smashing through other walls. I held down the trigger, and ran from him during his third rush....as soon as he came to a stop, I had the gun pointed at his head, and I heard an explosion, and I ducked behind the next wall.

This weekend I went to visit a friend in Ohio and last night I had this dream:

I was in my friend's apartment, in Ohio, looking out the window. I saw the person I drove down here standing by her car having a cigarette. I thought this was odd because I didn't think she was a smoker. I went down the stairs and outside to talk to her and she threw away the cigarette quickly and acted nonchalant, like she was afraid of being caught. I went along with it and said nothing.

We went shopping and I remember looking at some watches and admiring them. I didn't have any money so I didn't buy anything. I followed my friend around and watched her shop and she bought many things. When we left the store and returned to the car my friend was telling me all about the great stuff she bought and I remember feeling a little jealous.

When we returned to the apartment she handed me a silver and gold metal wristwatch and asked me if I liked it. It was really big and shiny and I said that I did like it. She then said "Good. Because it's for you."

I was really happy that my friend gave me a nice watch but I do not have any recollection of the rest of the dream.

I went to talk to my scientist friend and asked him if he could help me. I told him what I needed and he told me that he couldn't help but knew some one who might be able to. This man was into trading all sorts of things. We went together to meet the man and explained what it was that I needed. The man said that he could help and agreed to do a trade. My scientist friend said that he wanted to also make an identical trade, because he could see a lot of potential for this. (I am sorry I am so vague, but the dream never tells what was traded, but I believe that it is something intangible)

The trader man goes on to tell us that we are not his normal clientel. The item that we seek is of little value to the people that he usually trades with, while the item that we are trading it for is highly valued. Then he looks at my scientist friend. "I am going to give you the corporate value for this trade" and he takes out a wad of money and counts out over $700 and hands it to my friend. Then he looks at me, "The situation is different for you, because you want it for personal use." I ask him "So how much is it for Me?" He says "That is something you need to figure out" I tell him that I will take the same deal as he gave my friend. He tells me no, you can not get the corporate rate. I ask him what a fare price would be. He said that I would need to figure that out myself. Then he told me that he would leave me alone for a while so I could have time to figure it out. I started crunching numbers. Then, I thought, if I take a few hundred off the corporate rate, surely he would think that would be a fair price. So I tell him I am ready to negotiate. He sits down across the desk from me and pulls out another wad of money. Before I could say a word, a man walks into the office. There is a very sinister feeling from this man and I shutter. As soon as the man got the trader's attention, he walked out of the office without saying a word. The trade then got up and looked at me. "Excuse me, I have to do a trade with this fellow right now. He then dropped the money in his hand down on the desk in front of me. This shouldn't take very long. He is not the type to keep waiting if you know what I mean" I knew exactly what he meant and was pretty sure that he was an example of the trader's "normal clientele." I sat and waited for his return. It was taking longer than I thought it would. Then I thought, when I came here I was not planning on making money on the deal. Why was it so important now for me to make money? So what if my scientist friend made money on it. He could really use the money for his research. I already got what I came here for. I then got up and walked out of the office. I then thought I hope he doesn't think I am rude for not saying good bye. (Then I woke up. It was 1:00 AM. I rarely have a dream that I remember this early in the morning.)

I only remember several dream fragments later that night that all relate to that first dream.
A couple of the dreams, I was engrossed in calculations.
The next fragment, I was sitting in an auditorium full of people, still busy with my calculations. I was hoping to have these calculations done by now because it was my plan to present this to the Boy Scouts during this assembly. What I had gotten from the trader would be useless until I had been able to convert it all into workable equations. And so far I had only been able to successfully convert one into an equation. There were 27 more to go. This was going to help people who really needed it, if I could ever get the equations worked out.

A group of Boy Scouts came on stage. Other Boy scouts filed down the center isle carrying gifts to present to the Boy Scouts on the Stage. They brought up whatever Boy Scout gear they had, such as a fold up shovel, a mess kit, some rope, ect. The items themselves were unimportrant. Each gift was symbolic of the help they planned to give to the community. It was a wonderful presentation and they got a standing ovation.

I was feeling bad because I had not gotten the calculations done yet to help them with their cause. Then, after the assembly was over, I went up to the stage where the gifts were still laying in a heap on the stage. I picked up a couple of the items there and on the back of each was a note and some money wrapped in twine. My eyes teared up because it was then that I realized that this assembly also represented their faith that I would get the job done. They had been my supporters since I told them what I was trying to do.

In the next dream segment my hard work had finally paid off. After all the calculations were over, I figured out how to convert them into discount coupons for local fast food restaurants. We then tacked them up on a large board in the public bath house. It was a bulletin board that you couldn't miss. The theory was that the people who needed help most would be drawn to one of the coupons. Once they were in possession of the coupon, they would get the help they needed.

I had just finished taking my shower at the bath house and was wrapped in a big, thick robe. I was curious if anyone had taken any of the coupons yet. I was very surprised to see that only one still remained on the board. I was very curious how the coupon worked, but didn't want to take the last one because surely the person who needed it would be coming by soon. I took a closer look at it and touched it with my hand. Suddenly I was transported to a fast food restaurant. Everyone in the restaurant was Native American including those working behind the counter and they were not Seminoles, so I reasoned that I was in another part of the country. I asked the girl standing in line in front of me what state we were in. She turned around and looked me up and down, then looked at me like I was crazy then turned back around without answering me. There were only two people ahead of me in line, so I thought I'd better order something so I don't look even more out of place. I reached for my pocket to see how much money I had on me and realized I was still in my bath robe. I didn't have any money. and the coupon for this place was still hanging on the bath house bulletin board. I spoke to the girl in front of me again. "I really need to know, what state are we in? Is this Oklahoma?" This time the girl didn't even turn around. I looked around me and realized that I was no longer in the fast food restaurant. The wall that had been to my right, was now a counter. On top of it were several pairs of moccasins and some leather boots. I was immediately attracted to a pair of turquoise moccasins. I picked them up and looked at the bottoms. These were not ordinary moccasins. Instead of plain leather bottoms, these had a bunch small black rocks lined up to form the sole. I could tell that the rocks were very hard, maybe obsidian or volcanic rock. I thought back to when I had a pair of moccasins as a kid and how fast the soles wore out. Then I thought to myself, the soles of this pair would never wear out. The man behind the counter asked me if he could help me. I quickly put the moccasins back and told him I was just looking. I knew I couldn't buy them no matter how much I liked them. I had not money on me. The man then looked me in the eye and said "We can work out a deal if you decide you really want them."

Nicole and I were playing on a Minecraft server together. We ventured into an unexplored area and found some strange, circular platforms floating in the ocean. They looked like targets. Assuming the administrator had plans for these, I decided building on them was pointless; the buildings would just get destroyed. We walked back in the other direction, and I found an old cabin I had built previously to survive a night. I decided I would stay there until morning. I was glad I found it when I did since skeletons were already patrolling behind it. I looked around the cabin and quickly discovered the basement. I couldn’t remember why I abandoned the cabin… Until I saw the creepers hiding in the basement, that is. There were at least seven of them, and they all noticed me. Only one jumped up to the ground level, though. I backed into a corner to try to force it to blow up where the damage would be minimal. I knew I couldn’t fight a creeper in this small space. Unfortunately, the creeper knocked out nine blocks on the south wall, exposing me to roaming zombies! The open space was three blocks high, so I quickly placed a line of wood across the middle to keep the zombies and creepers at bay. This didn’t protect me from skeletons or spiders, though. I tried to find materials to use without going into the basement. I tried typing “/give Nephanim diamonds” to see if I had operator rights on the server for whatever reason. The dream didn’t seem to care that I typed the command incorrectly. As I worried that someone would see the request for items and complain that I was cheating, I got a red error message back from the server. It said that I had received a warning from the staff, and the item request had been denied. Boo… I decided to brave the basement for some dirt. To my surprise, it was now empty. Dirt was better than nothing… I don’t know why I had thought to put diamond blocks up instead of something less valuable. Anyway, while I was down there, I found these long, skinny lego blocks and put them together to form a red and yellow striped wall. It still wasn’t wide enough. The corners of the hole were still open, and skeletons were shooting me. I saw that my health was empty. I was alive, but not for long. Another arrow hit, and my items burst from my body. Apparently, my spawn point was close tot he cabin even though I expected to have to run across the island. I carefully returned to the building, collected my belongings, and went on my way.

I met up with Nicole again, and we found a water purification plant beside a street. We filled buckets with water from the clean end and sampled it. The water was horrible… On top of that, we were stealing it. We laughed about all of this as we roamed some more. We found a car, I guess… Some people called Nicole and told her to pick things up from Chick-fil-A. We went there, but we didn’t buy anything for these people. Nicole spent $14 on something applicable to her diet. I saw that $5 of it went toward adding extra bacon. That plus my food and two drinks came out to $21.45. I misheard the amount, so I only pulled out a $20 bill. The drive-through was reversed as if we were in Europe, so I had to pay. To my immense surprise, when we pulled up to the window, the cashier handed us $21.45 instead of taking our money. Speechless, I put the money away. She passed our food over and closed the window. As Nicole drove off, we argued about what just happened. Nicole seemed to think she had gone to the wrong service window, but there was only one.

“They just paid us to take their food,” I said. “That’s all there is to it. It’s not really stealing if they don’t ask you for money… They didn’t ask you to pay when you ordered, right?” Of course not – the woman just said the total was $21.45. It really was our lucky day! Free water, free food, free money! As we continued driving, I became aware of another reality overlapping with this one. I was on a modern pirate ship as we sailed away from the coast. The farther away we went, the more I worried about dying and being too far away to retrieve my belongings. I remembered that I could set up to ten warp points, though, so I kept resetting one warp point as we continued south of the shore. My crew mates discovered stitches on my arms just below the elbow. I explained that I cut them off in order to switch my arms with Nicole’s. I would probably have scars for the rest of my life. For some reason, my crew decided this was traitorous, so they dragged me toward the back of the boat. I was shoved overboard. As I flailed in the ocean, I returned to my former reality. I was in the same car, but my mom was driving instead of Nicole. Nicole and I moved from the middle seats to the back and sprawled out on top of a bunch of Chelsea’s stuffed animals. I kept lulling Nicole into sleep so I could carry her. It worked. She almost fell into a sea of stuffed animals behind the seat, but I caught her.

Meanwhile, I swam back to the ship in the pirate reality. I don’t know why I bothered to go back there, but it was the only place I knew to go. Once I was safe, I switched realities again. Nicole stirred. She looked like she had lost all sense of time and place. She wasn’t wearing a shirt, either. I told her about the overlapping realities. She seemed impressed. I tried to have my way with her, but she refused. I kept asking until she suggested something else. She turned me into a child and herself into a babysitter (although we were like small action figures instead of people). We were going to roleplay. While we entangled ourselves together under a thin blanket, I began to wonder where we were going. We had been driving in one direction for a while. I looked at my mom beyond the shadows of the blanket. She made eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. I saw an infinite stretch of interconnected highways in front of us. There were street signs all over the place, and no matter how far we drove, the dream was always able to fill in the space with the same amount of detail. It could continue indefinitely, I realized. We were in a dream. If nothing changed, my mom would keep driving forever! I tried to use my intent to bring us to WritersCube’s canvas void by car so could get out and try teleporting to his Monolith Gardens dreamscape. I didn’t want to bring the car along. Strangely, I lost some time here… That doesn’t happen very often. The next scene I remember was non-lucid, but there wasn’t a rough jump in the dream like there usually is.

I sensed that a police car would pull up beside us on the highway soon. I was lying across the area behind the back seat with all of Chelsea’s stuffed animals. I knew this wasn’t legal – for one, I didn’t have a seat belt on – so I tried to keep still to avoid drawing attention to myself. Sure enough, a cop car merged onto the highway right beside us. My mom ordered me to come sit in the middle seats once we passed the patrol car. She explained where we were going at last: to a mental hospital. I understood immediately that I had been tricked. I grasped at fleeting questions in my head, but I didn’t know how to respond. I would be kept in solitary confinement for my own good, she said.

“This will keep you from polluting your mind on the computer all day,” my mom continued. “Think of it like this: you’re decontaminating your mind and body until you can function like a normal person in society. You don’t need all that bacteria.” I wasn’t sure I agreed (if I even understood what she meant). It didn’t occur to me that I was free to say no. Rather, I wondered how I would finish school… We pulled onto the side of the road beneath an overpass where a bunch of other cars were parked. My mom and dad got out of the car (when did my dad show up?!) and started moving luggage to a man sitting on a white couch. My dad put all of Chelsea’s stuffed animals in a suitcase.

“Do you really need all of this?” he asked me.

“Those are Chelsea’s, not mine. Ask her.” I looked over and saw that the guy on the couch hand his hand on a zipper. I thought he was opening a suitcase to see what was inside. “Don’t screw with my stuff!” I yelled. Everyone stared at me, clearly prepared for me to attack one of them. I realized the guy was just zipping up a compartment in the bag that had been open. “Sorry. I thought you were going through my stuff.”

“Don’t you want these gloves?” my dad asked, showing me a pair of new winter gloves. I saw an old pair of gloves on top of one of my suitcases. “Those old gloves are falling apart… These are flame-resistant, too, so they won’t burn in the summer.” I quietly accepted the gloves. I still felt awkward because of my previous outburst. I walked over to a woman sitting in a chair. She had a computer monitor for a head. She asked if I had any questions about the hospital.

“Yeah, will I have internet access…?” I asked. No response. “Because… Well, that’s how I keep in touch with people… And I keep a dream journal online.” At least one good thing came of this, I realized. I would be able to devote most of my energy to dreaming. I had argued briefly with my mom about this in the car, but the more I thought about it, the less I felt like struggling. If everyone felt I belonged in a mental hospital, I wasn’t going to fight it… The computer woman still didn’t respond to my question, though! I scrolled through a list of frequently asked questions on her screen. It seemed the hospital made every effort to provide patients with internet access, so I was basically content. An IRC window popped up. I saw “Tande” at the top of the chat and thought Kelsey was running the hospital until I scrolled down and saw Nicole’s IRC username in the user list, too. “Oh… IRC just recognized me as Elita.” I closed the chat and walked away from the computer woman.

I heard a girl screaming behind a closed door. When I opened it, I saw a large rat jumping around in a garage. The girl was terrified of it. I grabbed a broom and said I would save her, but I had to wait for the rat to move away from the door so it wouldn’t see me. The rat chased her into the corner. Then, it came back toward me. I slammed the broom down on its back, pinning it to the ground. If I could just hold it there, I could kill it with something… It was a perfect hit, but this rat was tough; a broom wasn’t enough to bash the life out of it. The rat squirmed free of the broom. It went straight to its attacker, jumping onto my chest and sinking its teeth through my clothes. I swatted at it. As I awakened, I sat up frantically in bed to get away from the dream rat. I did this twice before I realized I was in a different reality.

Non-lucid, Semi-lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

Night of February 28 - March 1

Some restaurant is having some kind of promotion where you can enter a code into an ATM and get money out. I walk out of the restaurant and across a parking lot to get to the ATM. I'm dressed in my pajamas, robe, and slippers, and am glad I'm wearing my rubber-soled slippers, because the parking lot is wet because it has just rained. I get to the ATM, enter my code, and receive a $5 bill, then a $1 bill, then a bonus $5 bill. There's also some loose change in a change dispenser on the [extremely strange-looking] ATM, and I start taking some of it for myself, but it occurs to me that I shouldn't take all of it, because that would be greedy.

Night of March 1 - 2

I'm playing PackRat and find several sets of 10 tickets by flipping over cards.

My mom is driving on a main road through an unfamiliar town, and I'm in the back seat. She's trying to find her way to someplace, but she's obviously lost. We turn left onto a residential street. Finally, I ask her for the TomTom, and she hands it to me. It's getting dark out, and I can't see the device's screen very well, so I reach up to the ceiling of the car to turn on the overhead lights. They turn on for a second, then fade away. Pressing them again does nothing. [I laughed out loud when I recalled this upon waking up and realized what I'd done. Once again, dream sign fail!] I complain to my mom that I keep pressing the wrong buttons when trying to enter the address of the place we're going to, because it's getting dark, the TomTom doesn't emit enough of its own light, and now our dome lights don't work. After a few minutes, though, when it's gotten fully dark outside, the buttons light up in bright red and white, so that I can see each letter and number clearly. [The TomTom doesn't do that in real life; my cell phone does.]

I walk into the bedroom I stayed in when I was living in Kentucky. [It didn't look much like that bedroom actually looked, but the bed was the same, I think.] I remark to whoever else is in the room with me, “I haven't been here in a while. It's the same. This is a good thing.” When I say that, I'm remembering dreaming about this place before [although I don't remember doing so now]. I get into the bed, and the two cats who live in the house jump up onto it and start walking all over me. I just lie there, quietly appreciating my mind's ability to generate the totally realistic but imaginary sensations of cats walking on me and the tips of their tails tickling my face. [No, I don't own any cats in real life, but there really were two cats in the house in Kentucky.] Even though I know that this is just a dream, I never make the logical leap from that fact to “I can go off and do whatever I want!” and never become fully lucid. [I'm still counting this as a lucid dream, though.]

These were long dreams, but don't really have time to go into great details.

Parking
I don't remember the sequence of events too well. Something about my apartment. Then parking my car in the parking lot. I'm in a hurry so I do a sloppy parking job, blocking the spot next to me. I imagine a pickup truck is there. Then I am back in the apartment. I hear a knock at my door. It's someone from the apartment office. They are yelling that my car is blocking another person and I need to move it.

Then I woke up and heard the banging sound of the construction site across the street. For a moment, it sounded like a knock at my door, just as in the dream. It took me a few moments to convince myself that the dream was just a dream and I didn't have to move my car for real.

Paycheck
I'm at work. I walk past Rachel in the hall. I sense she's trying to make eye contact, but I avoid her. She's wearing a pink t-shirt. I enter my office and sit down. I notice that my desk is facing the wrong way, toward the wall instead of toward the door. A man walks in and hand me my paycheck. I don't recognize him. I assume he must be new in the HR department. The paycheck looks weird. It looks like a Scantron test form like in high school. The amount is wrong too. It's about $450 dollars, I don't recall the exact number. That's way too low. I think for a moment that it's because it is February and that's a short month. So I walk to Rachel's office ask her about it.

I'm going through this maze. Not in a particularly surreal way. It was like the ones that are made out of hedges. And there are other people there. And it c
kind of transforms into a kids playhouse type thing (a bit like the kids tv show fun house). Still in kind of maze form, but there are multiple tiers.
Next dream
My dad's got a 4 by 4 convertable (do they exist? i don't know). And he's driving down to the end of simon's way (finney lne end). James and Ann-Marie are with us. Then we get out and James starts speaking about his frustration with Wayne's cousin- Luke (who he doesn't actually know, at all, in real life!). and Luke was complaining about not being able to claim dole money, even tho he's working. And
james was saying how he doesn't do that much work.
Then Ann'Marie and i are at James' work in this big warehouse. And she decides we play a game whereby we pick up stuff from the warehouse to symbolise a famous person's name. One of the things Ann-Marie picks up is some bacon. And the name of that person was Sir Francis Bacon. ????
Next dream
I fall out with Wayne about not doing stuff together. And i say it's because i don't have alot of money. I said i'd been to see united about for or five times this season. And he said he phoned me up hinting to go a number of times and i turned him down. But at that stage i had no money.
i remember saying to him "i can't spend money i haven't got!". And my mum was there for some reason.

Comment Dream Lucid
Epicness: 6,7/10
I'm at a nightclub. In some way I buy and sell aircrafts. Always something bigger. Suddenly, I have 11.3 million on my bank account. I know because I somehow check it on a computer. I go and dance in the club, it feels like the dream is very long, just being in the club. I tell a girl from my class that I have won much money. Her reaction is not caring at all. I go back to my hotel room and get a message by Tommy at work, he writes in English: you may have to confirm. He will pick us up, me and another for some reason. There's a lot of things I assume to know here. A picture of a large building comes into my head. Large Roman columns outside and a large staircase. It kind of overlaps the current dream, like my last dream.

I find myself suddenly in a dream I've had before, long ago. There is a room in a hospital that is cursed. A force grab patients and knock them wall to wall in a tight hallway into the room. I go in and also get smacked between the walls, but I manage to go all the way into the room. They say that MRI machines are on the other side of the walls each side of the hallway and that tattoos smack patients to the walls. I don't have any tattoo. When I enter the room there comes a creepy, skinny and bald person behind the door. I have seen him before. I look to the other side and starts waking up. There is a staircase down to something, behind a shower curtain. Another bald and skinny guy is coming up from it.

I woke up exactly at 6 o'clock one hour before I'm used to wake up. I didn't feel the dream was that of a nightmare even though I were in a cursed room. When i woke up I didn't move and tried to sleep again. the face of the creepy guy was what came to mind and woke me up again. Like something didn't want me to dream again.
I felt the dream was very long, I think I got an idea that I was dreaming when I had won money, but was not lucid. It might mean that I'm close?

Amount of sleep: 6,5 hours
Supplement: Apple juice

01/23/2011
"Financial Aid"

I was friends with LS, and back in my old neighborhood. Her little brother was there. Apparently, they were getting money from a sick family member or something, and there was another character who was stealing the money right from under them. I don't exactly remember the details, but I somehow ended up helping this person double-cross them. (The Matrix movie was looping, while I slept. After this dream, I woke up right at Cypher's double-cross. Seeing as how screwing LS over like that is something I never would have done in waking life, I'm wondering if being so in-tuned with the movie is what created this scenario, in the dream.) I was with the main villain as he was talking to the liaison, trying to get the money. I actually wasn't supposed to be there, but the liaison had shown up unexpectedly. I couldn't get out of sight fast enough to go unnoticed, so I pretended to just be a friend of the family, who was simply visiting; feigning sleep while the two talked. LS came home, just as the deliverer was leaving, and saw me laying there. Before she was able to ask too many questions, the crook, apparently someone she trusted to handle things, ushered her out.

The next day came. LS and her brother were really sad. Not having really thought about my actions as being "all that bad," I listened to her tell me about how her and her brother were really struggling - that there was no one to help them out, and the money she was supposed to be getting for support had been stolen. It was only then that it actually hit me. What had I done? This girl was my friend, and obviously in trouble, and I had just helped someone steal from her. The realization hit me in the chest, as if I'd been completely oblivious to what was going on, before that moment. Above all else, I knew I had to come clean, and confess to what I had done. I brought LS and her brother outside my house, and they took a seat in the grass. Reluctantly, I laid it all out for them, letting them know of my involvement, and about how I had no idea how bad they were hurting for money. Having to verbalize my actions, I was just as surprised with myself as I knew she had to be, and I wanted nothing more than for her to forgive me. She didn't. In fact, she hated me for it. She got up and screamed at me, telling me about how much they'd lost - not just from the money that was skimmed, but because of how much more they were going to lose, because of bills that wouldn't get paid and whatnot. She thought that I was just using the money to blow, but that wasn't the case. I had been struggling myself, and was skimming money to help pay for my essentials. Had I have known what I was doing to them, there is no way I would have gone through with it. She wasn't hearing it, though. I could only watch as she stormed off, refusing to talk to me. Her little brother slowly got up, staring at me as he followed her, muttering a sarcastic "thanks a lot," under his breath.

I pleaded with LS to hear me out, and told her that I didn't really understand the gravity of what I was doing. I tried to rationalize to her, why I had needed the money, as if it were any excuse. They completely ignored me, though, and simply walked away.

As if on cue, I woke up...feeling like the scum of the Earth...

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was in a car with my mother, nephews, and niece. It was a warm, sunny day. I was in the back, in the center seat. My niece sat in between my knees or on my knees. The front seats were bucket seats, so my niece could reach forward and look through them. My niece was bald for at least part of the dream.

My niece was really calm, but kind of inquisitive about everything going on outside the car. She usually had a reputation for being hyper and a little mean. I thought, vainly, that my being around her was helping to make her calmer.

We were now outside, walking up a couple of blocks to my mom's house. We had to walk uphill for a couple short blocks then turn left and walk up another hill to the house. A couple of guys in front of a house on our left called out to my mom. They sounded friendly, but we kept walking. A couple of them may have followed us, calling out at my mom.

I couldn't tell whether the guys were being rude or just funny. At some point my mom explained something to me to let me know the guys were just being rude. My mom or sister had gotten on the guys' bad side somehow. Now the guys were always harrassing them.

I thought that I might have to protect my family if things got bad. I really couldn't worry about the things people say. I'd just have to ignore that. But would I be able to handle things if they got violent?

I was now if the house with my sister and a female friend of hers. I didn't know the friendm She may have been a new friend of my sister's. She was Hispanic, pretty, wearing a kind of baggy t-shirt. I never saw my sister or her friend right on. It was always like they were in another room adjacent to the room I was in (the living room?) and blocked by some piece of furniture, like a big set of dressers.

I heard my sister and her friend talking. The friend may have been sitting on a couch while my sister was in the kitchen, making lunch.

I walked around in some cluttered room and found an envelope with my name on it. It was a W-2, for filing my taxes. I wondered how it could have ended up at my mom's house. I figured I must have dropped it somehow. But then I also saw that it was open. I saw that it was easy for people to see the contents of the envelope, including the pay information printed on the form.

I also saw that the form had come from a company I haven't worked with for two years. I wondered how this could be. Then I thought, Well, I was working with them at the beginning of last year. So of course they'd send me a tax form for this year. I looked at my pay info. It seemed to correspond with the time I'd spent working for the company.

My sister handed me a plate full of something like grits with pieces of yellow corn floating in it. As I started eating, I heard my sister talk about how hard it was for her and my brother-in-law to take care of their children on their salaries. I felt bad when I heard this, but I couldn't really do anything about it. I was trying to take care of myself.

I stood before some kind of broken down entertainment center or dresser that was piled over with all kinds of clutter. I began pulling change out of my pocket. I just kept pulling change out of my pocket and piling it up on some flat surface. I was amazed by how much change I had. And it was quarters, too! Not just small change.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

00:30

Vampire dogs
Policemen find a body in the middle of a street. Someone asks them what happened and they say teenagers are mysteriously disappearing and ending up dead in some distant place, drained from blood. I go home and I am visited by a friend. I ask him to stay away from my dogs. He asks why and I show him that they all turned into vampires. He says I’m nuts to keep them, but I tell him I love them still and I offer them my blood. To demonstrate, I offer them my hand and all of them (three, I think) come to bite me. It hurts as hell, but I am willing to sacrifice myself for them. They are all on leash, but one of them escapes. Then I get worried about him biting someone or even just my cat who is on the house. I don’t want the cat to become a vampire to. Not my pussycat!

5:00

Money, money, money
At the entrance of my mom’s building. I come with dad, but he heads to the elevator immediately and I stop at the mailbox. I have one mailbox just for me, which I don’t open for years. It’s full of cash! I try to take it out without the incoming neighbors to see and get envious.

Where's mom?
Then I’m with my mom on car. I get out to get something or someone and she goes park on some alley. Then I meet someone, wee talk for a while and then I realize she is taking too long so I go look for her. I feel I am becoming lucid, but I can’t move on to tasks without first finding my mother, because I’m worried about her. I wake up.

6:00

Casablanca (ToTY)
I go back into LD. I’m in a house and I look for some mirror. I cross one while thinking of the Casablanca ToTY and I land on the entrance of a bar. I pass a folding screen and find myself in a corridor. I spend some time there because there are some amazing paintings and sculptures that I observe, trying to memorize them. Specially a painting about some winged snake-like surrealistic creature, being ridden by some warrior and a sculpture of an abstract man with a sun and moon head. But I’m brought back to the present moment by some gentleman who is pointing me the way to enter the main room. I look inside and it is all in black and white, tables with candles in the centre, fancy dressed people sitting and listening to jazz music. I look like Ingrid Bergman in my hairstyle and clothes. But once I enter the room, the black and white becomes slowly colourful. I see a guy on the piano and a queue of at least four people who seem to be wanting to talk to him. I ask someone how can I speak to Sam and they point me the guy on the piano and say “You’ll have to wait for your turn.” But Sam was an old white guy with white hair and glasses. I said “That’s not Sam!”, but they insisted it was him, the famous Sam. “Ok, so I’ll ask him to play a song.” I didn’t feel like waiting for my turn and it was my dream anyway, so I passed in front of all the other people waiting and was about to talk to Sam, when he finished a song and got up in a very bad mood, complaining that there was too much people nagging him. Instead of him, I ended up talking to another guy who was his manager and told me I should write down my name on a waiting list and the song I wanted Sam to play. I realized I would not be able to hear him playing the song before the dream was over, so I wrote my name on the paper. I had serious difficulties, because all the pens they were handing me over did not write properly, but in the end I managed. I didn’t know what song to ask for, so I wrote down “whatever song you wish to play”, because I figured he was sick and tired of playing all the crazy stuff other people were asking.

Market in Denn (RPG task)
Then I leave the place and thing about the RPG task. I see a backdoor and imagine to be on Denn when I open it. I go to the other side and find myself inside some kind of warehouse. I look outside and this part of the town looks a bit like the wild west. I see a saloon, people in horses and a diligence. I don’t go outside, because on a side door I notice this warehouse connects to a market. It’s an indoors supplier market. It’s really early morning and they are preparing the boxes with food to be shipped to the merchants. I look for the strange fruit I’m supposed to find and I do see among pears and apples, a few boxes of something that looks like a mango, but with spikes. It looks like the picture posted by WakingNomad on DV, but it is not pink, it is reddish and yellowish like a mango. I feel it might be it, but I insist in looking around a bit more, to see if I find some other weirder fruit. I don’t, so I pick up one of those strange mangos. Unfortunately some guy appears complaining that I shouldn’t be there and escorts me out. He distracts me from my intent to eat the fruit and I wake up. Grrrrr…….

7:00

Fighting monster with love
Trying to avoid someone or something. I was already lucid, but can’t recall what had happened before. I just know I’m on a bus and outside there’s an hideous creature, half elephant, half octopus with a giant jaw-like mouth. It is crushing cars as it moves along the street and eating people’s guts. It’s horrific. And then it jumps and lands on top of the bus. People scream and try to run to the extremities of the bus. The monster opens the bus and enters on it. It shape-shifts into a more humanoid form. I feel confident I can beat it, and I think people around me notice that because they look at me hopeful that I will protect them. The monster comes to me, but instead of kicking it’s ass, I decide to try the “love approach”. I give it a hug (yuc). I realize the monster is female, because of its energy signature. I tell her we can be friends. She gets really confused and at the same time pleased. She just feels unloved and lonely. I still feel revulsion, because I can feel it’s deep down emotions and they are ugly. But I make an effort. The bus is stopped already for some time and the bus driver opens the door. We come out and walk together. I can read her thoughts and she is visualizing us together forever, all the time. I don’t like the idea so I explain to her “You know what being friends mean, right? We will go out sometimes, call each other once in a while, but we’re not supposed to be together all the time, that would be slavery.” (I joke) She asks me if we’re now going out somewhere. I reply I have no plan, but let’s just walk and talk. Then we cross some neighborhood and I see a couple of swings. I tell her “Why don’t we ride the swings together for fun?” She looks at me like “Are you kidding, that’s for babies.” But I hop in and swing higher and higher. She just stands in front of me, trying to figure out why is that fun. Then she transforms into a cloud of black ravens hovering in the sky in front of me. I hope it is a good sign. Then some ravens become black open umbrellas and then slowly all transform into dancers in the sky with black feathered wings, making a weird, dark, yet beautiful, group dance. I guess it’s the creature’s way to set her emotions free. Then she says she wants to eat “nam”. I have no clue what that is, but I interpret as Vietnamese food. We go to a Vietnamese restaurant and she is loving it! I enjoy watching them prepare strange dishes – I’ve never actually been to a Vietnamese. Then we become engulfed on a large party they are organizing on a backroom of the restaurant. Besides the amazing food we were about to choose to eat, they had a huge long table with all sorts of sweets and cakes. They were so kind and offered me to try anything I wanted. The party was only hours later, but they insisted that I take whatever I wanted. So then followed an orgy of cake eating. It feels so good, when you know it’s calories free!

8:00

I got hot wings at a place like a lodge, but not til later.. the sauces were PQ and something else i cant remember. Dan rink was there apparently. I went outside.. it was a gloomy winter day along a highway road. I paid 10 dollars then talked to the brunette working and then talked to the manager who was apparently a hockey coach for kids.