Recent DJ Posts

I’m in some house with Melissa. The master bedroom is right off of the living room, and there’s a walk-in bathroom with a walk-in shower right off the bedroom. I’m up and getting ready. I think I thought it was late, but now I see that it’s actually much earlier than I’d usually be ready, at 6:45 am. The shower is brown stone with an inlaid ledge or two that we’ve put plants on to a really nice effect. One looks like a pothos; I inspect it and am distressed to find a couple leaves fall off at just my touch. The rest of it still seems healthy though. Another of the plants looks like a succulent, and I wonder how it’s going to do with the humidity. Out in the living room now, Melissa and I both see something move of its own accord? In a window, I see the reflection of a small, gaunt looking girl that’s not really in the room with us. We confirm that we both saw the same thing and I believe that this place is indeed haunted.

I had a lucid dream!! Didn't last long though.

I'm in my house's small bathroom, taking a shower. The water doesn't feel very warm and the room is dark, no lights are on. I can see dimly around me - the grey tile walls, the silver shower tray (do those actually have a name??), the small window and white Venetian blind. A thin shaft of white light comes through the blind. I fall down on the floor and wonder why I can't wash my hair. Then I realise, maybe it's because I'm dreaming.

I try testing gravity by jiggling my leg and it moves in slow motion. Then I know. I feel a rush of excitement. But I know I have to stabilise the dream. I hold up my hands to examine them, but I can't see any details of them in the dark. I held them outward under the only glow of light in the room to see a bit better. The light is golden now and in a sort of dim hovering ball. I still can't see much, so I try willing the room to light up, knowing the light switches are outside.

I woke up then. Was it a false awakening, though? I immediately tested gravity again by moving my leg, and it seemed to move very slowly. But I felt so tired that I didn't really register this, just rolled over and went to sleep. I'm wondering if I actually missed a false awakening since I don't usually wake up in the middle of the night. And if I do, I'm rarely so tired that I just go back to sleep.

Still, my first DILD! Better go update my profile's LD count!

I didn't get the WILD or dream control I was hoping for, but there is a lot of recall here...so that's a plus!

Before WBTB

Sci-Fi Feeding Time
It's dark, night-time at a stable on a farm.
There are horse-like creatures and other monsters in sci-fi fleshy body bags.
Some of the horse-creatures are sitting on their backsides...and have huge upright dongs.
Like straight up into the air, 3ft diameter and 5ft high...
Someone is showing me how they care for the creatures.
They have one mature creature chew up food and spit it out.
Then they collect the mush and feed it to the younger ones.
The whole situation is very strange and I kinda wish I would've forgotten this one.

Fireshots and Frogskins
I'm in a team at Hogwarts and we are in the middle of magic combat with another group.
They are Slytherins or otherwise dark magic users.
It isn't a friendly duel, they are trying to hurt us.
I shoot some fire attacks at one of them and set their robes on fire.
I remark that the spell was meant for aesthetic uses, but very useful here.
I shoot off some stupefies and experlliarmises, and notice that I have multiples wands and they break as I'm shooting.
They sort of snap like twigs.
It feels similar to how durability works in Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.
Later I'm in a downstairs living space or maybe a lab.
Mr. Weasley is there. He has a big frog creature. About 1ft tall.
I'm wanting the frog's shed-skin shell from him.
There is also information I'm needing. There was another person I was planning to bribe with the skin-shell.
But I realize that Mr. Weasley has the same info.
The room looks like my childhood kitchen now, with Mr. Weasley standing near the sink.
I ask him for the info, and indicate my understanding that I don't need to bribe him.
He pauses, gives me a look, sarcastically pauses...maybe a bribe IS needed...
But then gives me the info.

Cave Battle
JM from work and I are planning a dangerous trip to get treasure.
Later we arrive at the site.
I'm in an underground cave with a large rock blocking the entrance above.
Similar to a bombable wall from Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.
There is a horde of orcs/goblin creatures above the wall chasing me. JM is above as well.
I'm searching the cave for the treasure. The monsters are getting closer to opening the rock.
I start to look for a weapon instead. I find a bow, but the arrows with it are dull.
They break through. I try to hide.
3 goblins make their way to the back cave chamber where I am at.
They chase me around the room and shoot arrows at me, I try to grab fallen arrows to fight back desperately.
J!!! HELP!!! I scream.
He shows up and helps me fight.

After WBTB
I head back to bed and focus on the forest I want to WILD into. I wait a long time, and multiple alarms go off interrupting my attempt. I eventually slip off to sleep without a WILD.

False Awakenings
I'm in my bedroom, thinking that I've wasted my time for the last day of comp.
Crap. I do a half-hearted nose reality-check just to be sure...
And I'm dreaming! But it fades quickly into another false awakening.
This happens a few times, but I never get real control of the dreams.
Only counting it as one dream because it all was sort of a blur.

Hey, You, You're Finally Awake
I have metal chains binding my arms together and I'm riding a cart through some valley.
I'm a prisoner, similar to the opening of Elder Scrolls: Skyrim.
My right eye is bound shut somehow and I can't find a way to move my body to free it.
I think about how maybe I'm sleeping with my eye covered...
I must be dreaming!
Despite being lucid, I can't do anything to free my eye.
When I woke up, I confirm that my right eye was, in fact, lodged into my pillow. Go figure.

Carpet Shower
I'm at my Grandma P's old house (the one with the big upstairs area and Jack/Jill bathroom).
My dad owns it now. He's talking to his friend about how great blowjobs are. I mean, I can't argue with the man.
There is a stuffed animal on a chair alone in one of the rooms. I don't see the significance of it, if any.
I'm searching for a shower and I find one in the middle of one of the big bedrooms over the carpeting.
It doesn't strike me as strange that a faucet is right in the middle of the bedroom wall.
I start to shower up, but my Dad interrupts me and I have to leave the room.

Unexpected Assist
I'm in an apartment similar to H and A's from a few years back.
We're down some stairs. H is giving me a strange look and I feel like she is into me.
Her and my girlfriend S are aware of my WBTB and WILD attempts, and are trying to help.
They set up a bed for me with a stuffed animal to help me sleep.

Panther Dinner Time
I'm in a fancy restaurant sitting outside. It reminds me of where we sat and got ice cream in Disneyland/California Adventure.
There is a large panther approaching the seating area.
It's aggressive and the crowd freaks out.
Then a man appears from out of the crowd and seems to know the panther.
He commands it, and manages to get it to jump onto a nearby brick wall and hang there.
The situation is resolved.

Conditions
Medium workout
Light dinner
Bed on time
6hr/30m WBTB
Yuschak Primary Trigger (8Mg Galantamine, 250Mg Choline Bitartrate)

Notes
So I still didn't get the result I was hoping for. There were some alarms my girlfriend had go off during the attempt, but I'm not sure I can 100% blame those for the failure. I think that given the challenge of falling asleep once again, 30m might be too long of a wake period. Intent was 20m, but by the time I had taken the supplements, recorded my dreams, used the bathroom, and reviewed my goals 30m had passed. I'm undecided if I want to test 6hr/30m WBTB one more time, or move on and try 6hr/20m in earnest.

I’m on what seems to be a trip with my coworkers. The building we’re in doesn’t seem like a hotel, but more like a hostel or large house. I am going to have to share a bed with Jessica and Brad, not by choice, but by design. Right now, it feels late and like I can’t sleep. I start walking around and notice a faint glow to the lighting, like it might be very early morning. I decide to just take a shower and get ready for the day, thinking about how the shower situation will probably be backed up. (This next part may be part of the same dream, or a different one). I’m looking for a place to take a shower and end up in what looks like a very plain theater (stone walls and steps and no adornments). Some lady tells me there are showers up at the top and I’ll just have to use it in front of everyone and that we’ll become close if we already aren’t. I picture myself naked, showering up there.

My school has their introduction camp and we all go to this old cinema buliding where we all get a room to prepare our bags. I'm late and hear the glockenspiel already that's announcing the bus taking off. As I go downstairs to my room to pack my bag I see two girls from high school also still downstairs and I'm relieved I'm not the only late person.

I go upstairs and the bus is about to take off, we go to this fictional place in Noord Holland which has the same name as a chat term we use at work so I can't write it here. Apparently I was the guide at the introduction camp of the new theatre school students but I end up leaving earlier.

I then work at a Nike store owned by an elderly couple, I want to take over their store which is only possible if they get a divorce. I go to the bathroom, which is apparently at the entrance of the store, but actually in the open instead of a private room. As I prepare for the shower, a popular lightskin dude comes and films me and turns showering into a music video while his fanbase was watching through the windows.

They finally finish and leave, I turn down the blinds and curtains so the I can shower for real, a desperate customer tries to enter as I hold the door closed. I notice a bunch of customers still needing to leave, the elderly couple walks along them, telling me they got the divorce and I now own the store..

Sitting in the train on my way to a new job, I think about the fact that the elderly couple divorced because of me and I pretty much just ruined their lives. I check Google Maps but the layers are 3D and the route's height updates as well. I then wake up and hear my alarm clock.

Dream was in Dutch up until the Nike store when it became English.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

With Nighthawk, somewhere with other people around. Looks like an office as we are sitting in office chairs with wheels, but also feels like a café as people are just chilling in nearby tables. He is talking about something and I want to get closer to him, so I give an impulse to my chair to slowly roll to his side. But I pull it a bit too strongly and I roll too fast and bump into him. As a result I grab his legs and put my hands too close to his crotch and his reaction is to flinch and push himself back. I say sorry and he asks if I did it on purpose and I honestly can't tell. I feel like it was both accidental and intentional to a certain extent. I am also upset that he reacted that way but I guess it is to do with being in a public place with other people, so I don't insist and we just continue a normal conversation.

At my parent's house but the house looks totally different from what it really was. My bedroom is normal but it is attached to some shed that has the roof cracking in the middle and we are all waiting for the moment it falls apart and trying to keep everyone in safety. But when it falls apart, the roof in my bedroom also falls apart and then half of my parent's room also goes down. We are tryig to take it calmly and make plans to cover it all with plastics until we get the reconstruction done, but my father starts calculating the costs and it is despairing. Anyway, we adapt to living like this. But for no good reason I now have to shower in my room, as the shower head is right above my bed. So I wet my bed completely. My mom suggests I wash quickly to reduce the amount of water soaking the bed and I wonder how I am going to sleep on it later as it won't dry until then. Then I remember we have a second bathroom with a shower that wasn't affected and wonder why we ain't using it. Then I become aware that I am dreaming and I teleport involuntarily to a street in a city with very modern architecture mixed with old palaces at an ocean front. I want to see the place but then I notice how long the street is and I don't want to walk it all the way, so I lift off to see it from above. I see this shore line to my left, another to my right and some more in front but far away. I dive in the water just for fun and wonder what to do with my lucidity as I don't have anything prepared. All that occurs to me is to summon Buddha Tara. All I get instead is a red or pink tide on the water, as if something is gathering to form a shape, but it never does. I focus harder on any Buddha to appear and one starts forming and getting out of the water. It is actually a white porcelain figure, looking much more like Budai, not any Buddha. Not very fat but a little chubby and with thin green lines making beautiful designs all over its "skin". It is human sized and I touch it to see if it is a statue or a living being. I am still in the water and he has risen above it, but I manage to touch its arms and legs and I am surprised that it feels like porcelain but also like a peachy skin at the same time and it is warm. It feels so pleasurable to the touch that I continue caressing it, I reach for the neck and chest. The statue then comes to life and scolds me for touching him inappropriately. He gets mad and summons guardians from the water. I start feeling threathened by the figures that start emerging and grabbing me. There is a floating platform nearby and I get up on it. A strong current forms and drags it, but I allow myself to go with the flow. Then I hit the shore and some monks appear requesting me to come along. I ask what is it and they say some Rinpoche requires my presence. I hope it's what I am expecting but deep down I feel that it is not. I follow them anyway and they take me to a house. We pass through a room where some monks or lamas are sitting watching tv and they take me to a bedroom in the back. I feel uncomfortable when all I see is a bed and a lama I don't know in a poorly lit room. But then I see there is a young lady laying down on the bed, I feel like she is his companion. I ask what is it they need me for. And he explains she can't sleep for a week or so and she is going mad and they are desperate. I ask if we can talk and he asks her to come forward and listen to me. At first she looks angry and uncooperative. I don't know what she expects from me, but I start by telling her about a friend I have that also couldn't sleep for a week and it was because of anxiety he wasn't even aware of. And suddenly her face changes and she is interested. I ask if there is anything in her life, past or future, that could be the source of anxiety. Something that happened and she can't let go thinking about it or something that is going to happen and she is consumed in fear or doubts about it. Slowly she admits it may be fhe latter. She is studying something and she is going to do an exam for which she feels totally unprepared and she thought she wasn't worrying at all, but now she sees she just wasn't aware of how the concern was consuming her. I give advice on how to let go and examples of how my friend managed to let go and she seems definitely calmer.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


Taking a shower in what looks like my maternal grandparents kitchen in VFX. The shower is on an elevated platform with a very lose curtain in front of it, just by the left side of the door. I don't feel uncomfortable though and I am feeling a bit horny. I see the direction this dream is going and for that reason I get half lucid and decide to dry up and dress. Right in front there is another door leading to a proper WC. It has a large mirror on the wall. When I see it, I get fully lucid and I sink in it. Unlike other times, it just expands like a bubble and becomes transparent, letting me see that there are people working in an office behind it. I burst the bubble and join them. They look scared and some run away. One dude seems like he might attack me, so I manifest a bunch of money on his desk trying to distract him. Then everyone else goes crazy and I think I need to make more money to calm them down. So with some difficulty, I make it rain - there's notes falling out of thin air. Unfortunately, some just look like notes but are random pieces of paper, which again seems to enrage people. I decide to leave before they turn on me. I levitate towards upper floor and then go through a couple doors and I am outside. I feel the fresh air and find the sensation amazing. I also enjoy the view. Seems like I am in Belgium, the architecture looks familiar. I walk down a street looking for references and see a big sign saying Badesee or Badesek. Seems like an entrance to a station or a park. I almost lose lucidity in here, so I rub my hands. I am enjoying beautiful surreal things like trees with african pottery hanging from branches, a stained glass sky with beautiful sunset hues shining though it. Then I notice some weird guy kinda stalking me and I decide to fly over a wall to the other side. It's a more rural landscape on the other side and I see a huge snake in pastel yellow and green designs sliding through some wooden houses ad then turning into a girl in clothes of those colors. I find that lovely but also seems like she is a sign of caution from here on. Then I catch a glimpse in between houses, of some black guys running and I am not sure what they are running for or from, so I hide to see what's up. I hide between two very close walls of a couple ruined houses and I peek over a wall to see if they came my way. They didn't, they disappeared inside some other house or down the road. Then I see a man guiding a bunch of scared black women and children into a barn and other people hiding wherever they can in these old rural houses and barns. I don't know what they are hiding from but I am absolutely sure they will be found very easily when whomever is looking for them swipes the area. I want to help them so I plan to hover the place and shoot fire or whatever to their attackers, but I am distracted by my dog Lady who comes out of nowhere and joins me in that tiny space between walls where I am at. I hug her and all of a sudden I am in my farm and notice that all my dogs are outside the fence. Some idiot girl was passing by and when my mom arrived in her car, the girl leaned against the fence to get out of the road and she damaged the fence, and the dogs found a way to pass under it. Pissed of, I ask her to help me fix it while trying to bring my dogs inside.

30th September 2020

Dream:

With my family, visiting some fancy historical complex in America. It's on an overlook type area, atop a generally hilly area. Don't remember the surroundings much.

Mom, dad and T are the family I'm with. I remember we walked into a room with a long curved glass separating the room from a display area. There are highlights from the top and behind the glass is a natural-looking and rocky display, but the main feature is a plaque attached to a rock? We sit down on some of those museum-type sofas and there's a female voice talking about this plaque and/or the display.

Outside, going away from the compound area.

(recall gap)

Then something about a motorcycle gang? And two of its members are causing havoc along a road, in some way that I don't recall. I'm a policeman and have a motorcycle of some kind myself, chasing them through roads and rice fields, where people are working.

(recall gap)

Then in a shower. It's in some old place's bathroom. The shower is a walk-in type, with no frame at all, being only a white plinth. It's centred against a wall of this bathroom, which is quite large. I remember old and darkly stained wood, either in the bathroom or outside of it. Cerulean-blue tiles?

While I'm in this shower, bits of crap start coming off the back of where a silicon seal should be. Some bugs and a small horned beetle crawl out. (The word kabuto comes into mind as I write this out)

Then I get out and someone else is around. Not sure who, but they find a small clam shell of sorts and put it in front of this beetle. It gets in the shell and wears it like armour or something, the other person remarking on this fact. Then nearby is a crab and this other person disturbs it and it crawls away? But the crab is also in a strange sea shell of some kind.

(recall gap)

Vague recall of roaming some mezzanine area and old halls of the place with the bathroom. A bedroom too?

---

Notes:

- Shortly after writing out this dream and getting some things ready for the day, I found a beetle on the hoodie that I was going to wear.
- The whole dream was continuous but the threshold/transition moments seem to have mostly been lost on waking.

I am in Germany with Mom and Makayla. The first place we go to is a small, unassuming office building. Inside, it looks more like a home that has been converted to an office space. It is a perfect blend of the two. For a short period of time, Makayla and I can’t find Mom. At one point, I see her with a glass of non-alcoholic beer with a few sips missing. Part of me thinks ‘Already?’ There are two German ladies here. They are short and squat, older and very friendly. They speak English with a faint German accent. They work here but do not come off as an ‘employee’, eradicating any ‘us vs. them’ and promoting a genuine sense of helpfulness. The music that is playing here is odd and definitely nothing I’ve ever heard in any office building. It’s fairly loud, a slow and melancholy beat with droning female vocals. Through a window, I see that it is overcast out. One of the ladies says they should do something when it lightens up, gesturing as if she’s parting clouds. Now, I am outside with a different lady. We are sitting on a rocky shore against what must be the ocean. As I sit and observe the scenery and feel the perfect temperature, I am overcome with both grief and something close to euphoria, knowing that this is where I belong and that I’ll have to leave. I think I almost start tearing up. The scenery is rocky, but of soft soil and greenery where it is not. The ocean is calm and dampens the temperature to what I would call perfect. I talk to this lady as a small, wooden pallet drifts this way. There are a few seagulls on it that seem to be steering it. It becomes overcast. I think part of me is aware that Germany is not an island. The lady is showing me a map, pointing us out (a clear island), and showing how close we are to the very southern end of the ‘Hawaiian archipelago.’ There is a succession of maybe ten or so tiny islands to the North until I see the familiar cluster of Hawaiian islands. The rest of the map looks like a bunch of green islands close together on the deep blue of the ocean. She is now showing me where I’ll be staying. The house is two stories, wooden, and facing the ocean. It looks like the entire second story has a deck; we’re walking on it now. We see into one of the rooms, and she is nonchalant, but I’m not sure I like what I see. Looking down into the plain room, I see what looks like a dog bed. On it is a dog collar and some rod-like object. The unsettling part is that I think this is for a human )a captive?). Along the wall to the left there is an open cabinet. Attached to its door are about three black sheathes with different knives. I am disturbed because I thought Germany would be completely pleasant and not at all like this.




I’m outside somewhere that looks similar to Midtown, but I think more residential. From a third person perspective I am watching Donald Trump and his advisor jogging. It seems his ‘advisor’ is trying to keep up with him. Now, I am jogging with them. His pace is fast, and I think of his old age. We turn a corner and head down a straight away. For some reason I imagine someone attempting assassination and how it’d be easy right here; I don’t think he currently has any protection. Now, I am home (the house seems unfamiliar) and I hear some activity in the doorway. There’s a member of the press just inside the door, interacting with someone just out of sight outside the door. He steps into view - it’s Donald Trump. I think I’m naked and/or don’t want him to see me yet, so I hop into the ‘shower’, which is actually the refrigerator. I shut the door and just barely fit in here - I think door’s actually still open just a bit. Pressed up against the sides of this ‘fridge’ with nothing but me in it, I don’t recall my ‘shower’ being this small. I turn the water on and it comes out cold.




I must be performing auto fellatio. I am alone in an almost pitch black
space, feeling the sensations of both giving and receiving oral. It is slow and passionate.




I’m in a store with Mom. she points out a case of beer - it’s all of the World Beer Cup gold winners. The white case is probably almost as long as me and I think $15. Though I know it would be a good choice, I just don’t really want to get it.

I am working outside at Grassroots. The space doesn’t actually look like what we have; it’s more of an open dirt space with some tables, tents, and boxes, and I don’t see the store in the background. I’m sitting under a smaller shade tent, making a card. I must’ve put glue on the front, because I’ve poured quite a bit of sprinkles (pinks, whites, and purples) on and am shaking it slightly so they’ll settle and coat the front. Before I can finish, Ben comes over and asks if I want to learn ‘the fire’. I say yes, setting the card down and getting up to follow him. He’s not wearing a mask, so I am able to see his face. There’s a fairly large fire pit with a stainless steel ring around it that they use to do some kind of work. I’m not sure we’ve done anything yet, when everyone sits around the pit for lunch. I think that someone here makes lunch for those what want it but that about half of everyone has brought food. I have a grocery bag full of smaller bags of food items that is resting on my feet dangling over the edge of the pit. The pit is maybe ten feet across and there’s probably ten to twelve of us. I notice the different extents of mask wearing. Most don’t wear one, allowing me to see some faces for the first time. I wonder, but am not worried, about us all being this close. No one else seems to mind either. At some point, I am by Zoe. She is pretty close to me, and I notice how she’s wearing a thin, light blue bandanna over just her nose. I’m not sure how this is even done; there seems to be a twist in it - it’s coming from the side - that allows it to barely hang on. I’m thinking that it makes no sense and is bold for her. She happily tells me not to worry, that I ‘won’t be getting her air.’ I’m not sure.




I’m approaching what seems to be a very hipster restaurant. It looks like Midtown, and I think I’m with two others (not sure who). There’s a section of outdoor seating that is a small triangle, the side of which is a thick, split rail fence. The picnic style seating is overcrowded with lots of black band shirts and long, greasy hair - that kind of crowd. We go in and are seated now. Our waiter is friendly. Looking through the menu of two to three pages, I decide that the place is overpriced. There’s a ‘dog’ (hot dog?) something for $20. At the top of the menu, it says something to the effect of: If something doesn’t come with a side, we’ll try to come up with something else. I notice a menu item that I think is some kind of pasta that I like for a reasonable ($12-13) price. The waiter sees me looking and says yes, it means what I think it does. I’m not sure I even asked him. He says part of it means salad or something about a salad. I think he brings out beer now. I am putting a bottle cap into an orange, plastic ring where it snaps into place. It looks like the plastic rings for a six pack of cans, but small enough to fit bottle caps instead. I think about possibly getting some beer on draft too because I see two guys at a counter with a pint of lighter beer each. They look younger and, for whatever reason, like they’re from California (they look extremely average, though). There’s a blond guy sitting alone further down this long bench. He is small but buff. He’s wearing jeans or overalls and a tight shirt. I think he’s talking on the phone and he sounds absolutely vapid. For some reason, I think he’s ‘typical Reno.’




I’m in a large, opulent house on a hill where I know Jim, Rhianna, and Ella are staying (I don’t think I ever think of John - it’s almost like before he was born?). There’s something about a storm heading this way, over the nearby ocean. I’m looking for everyone, but they all seem to be taking a shower. I think Ella and Rhianna are in the same one or at least the same bathroom. I go into a dark bedroom and open the bathroom to see a dim light on and hear the shower with low water pressure running over a person. I know Jim is in there, so I wonder why all these lights are out.




I’m with Melissa, and we’ve ended up at Dad’s house. This house is actually very large and opulent. I think we’re on the second floor, in the spacious kitchen with marble counters and nice wood cabinets. I smell something good and then notice a plate of barbecue chicken. We now decide that, on second thought, the smell is not that good. Dad now shows up; I didn’t know he was here.

I’m at a Target, where I have a new AP job. I’m on the second floor, in a hallway with all of the general offices. The walls are lime green and white, and everything seems clean and orderly. Mairin walks me into one of the rooms and introduces me to the AP manager. He seems rather unaffected by us entering but warmly shakes my hand. Though he definitely says it, I miss his name. He looks like an average, middle aged white man, wearing faded denim jeans, some outdoorsy/sports shirt, and a ball cap. His mostly white beard is trimmed fairly close to his face. He stands by a tall shelf of tools and assembles what I think is going to be a table. He screws pieces into one another to form what must be the leg. They are small, so I think the table will be as well. (The leg is maybe the size of his forearm). I notice two instruction sheets lying at his feet. Mairin doesn’t seem to mind that he’s doing this as we talk. I imagine how this will correlate to the work environment. To me, he both does and does not look like typical AP.




I seem to have just finished up with something and am getting into my car that’s parked on the street. It is towards the end of sunset and growing dark out. I don’t think that it’s all that late and think about how the days are getting shorter. I think I’m fine with it, that this is a reasonable time for sunset. I begin driving now and am going to go to Kelli's house. I miss the street I should’ve taken and think I’ll just keep going and figure it out as I go. I then take my phone out for the map and text her, asking for the address. I continue driving straight on this fairly small city street and then slow to let some people cross the street. They are coming out of a door to my left that is only a few feet from the street. The first one glares at me as he crosses as if I wasn’t going to stop in time for him. There are around five people total crossing, and I notice that they’re all Black and all look disgruntled. There’s then a gap, which I take. One more starts to come out to cross, but I’m already going. He stops and waves at me, unbothered. I’m texting Kelli about something else now and see that she hasn’t responded yet.




I’m in a fairly large, brown shower stall. There are a few of these, in a line. A few others are occupied, all with guys. Everyone seems genuinely friendly with each other. I’m drying off and getting dressed. I think this room of shower stalls is at my work (the Target from the first dream?) and I leave some things in the stall because I know I’ll be back. I leave now, but I’m not sure if it’s to go home or not. There is a sense of us living here? I think I initially walk out unclothed and then come back.

I am walking through what looks like Dad’s neighborhood (maybe on one of the higher streets, like Virginia Foothills). I run into Kat and she ends up walking with me. It is near sunset and some of the lower and plumper clouds are getting some color. The rest are smaller and almost evenly spaced, bright white against the blue. I look directly up and notice a glowing sliver of the moon. It’s all very pretty. Kat mentions the sky too, saying she’s grateful for Emma for getting her to pay more attention to it, and that she wants to see it more often. I take some pictures of it as we walk. We end up at her house. I think the garage door is open, and I can tell by the way she’s talking that she has intentions to leave now. Before she does, I somewhat bluntly mention how I want to stop drinking. This seems to pique her interest, and she talks to me about it. I tell her I feel like quitting altogether but am not sure if I should stick with moderation. She pulls a little red champagne flute from somewhere and hands it to me, saying I could use it for moderation. I look at it and its almost grimy looking opaque sides, imagining how it might hold a small serving. I kind of like the idea and think I might take it, but then change my mind. I say that I want it to be a mindset thing and not something like this. Now, Chelsea has shown up, I think in a car. She stands behind us and when she sees me she recognizes me but thinks I’m someone else. I tell her no and think it slightly odd that she wouldn’t remember me. I am now walking back, now either on a dirt road or a road surrounded by dirt and small hills. There’s a small stream of water running down this slope, through the soil and grasses. I follow it and see where it meets another stream on an opposing slope, turning to one and running downwards. I look out to my left and notice a hill where water appears to be coming from. There’s a tiny canyon carved into the soft looking dark brown soil, and I imagine walking through it. I am walking right by where the streams meet, doing okay with stepping on the sturdier patches of soil and grasses. Most of it is still soft and it’s hard to tell what will give, so I end up getting both of my shoes wet and muddy. I end up back home, rinsing and scrubbing them. I put them out to dry even though it’s pretty overcast.




I’ve gotten an email from the new girl at work (it’s not actually the girl who is supposed to start. I think I see a profile picture on the email or something and it’s an unfamiliar heavyset white girl). She’s asking about me not being there for a shift, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t been scheduled. I think I’ve been using time off. She sounds more like a manager than a coworker and kind of annoying. After the text there are a few pictures of a hotel room - I think it must be a work thing. The hotel seems nice and also very familiar. I think I must have stayed there before. I think it looks more impressive than it actually is. A picture of the shower shows the floor of small, dark pebbles and the opposing stainless steel shower heads. Now, I am in the hotel. It looks like someone had just been here but tidied a bit before leaving, so I guess I just missed her. There’s a full looking black garbage bag in the abnormally large space adjacent to the toilet. The toilet itself actually has a garbage bag around it, somehow from the ground up. I adjust the opening of the bag so as to be able to use the toilet.




I am somewhere with the family. We’re in a plain, rectangular building that is for something like customs or passports or photos (something that we have to do together as a family). I notice quite a few other families here too, I think seated at tables. Whatever we’re doing here, the personale is being very aggressive with us. They are making us do tasks or challenges that seemed to be designed to result only in failure. A younger guy, I think in a uniform, tries to handcuff me but only gets one finger. He notices, his facial expression betraying his embarrassment, and tries again. The same happens, though he doesn’t notice this time. He tells me to now “clap above your head and find some shade.” I think he also holds me down to ensure failure. Still, I succeed in clapping above my head, slightly satisfied with defying his expectation of failure. I’m not sure about the shade part though. These things go on for a while longer. When we are done, I’m thinking about how I’m going to write to someone about how atrociously we were treated.




From a third person perspective I am seeing a high rise building (a hotel) that stands alone on a sprawling fine sand beach. The building seems somewhat modern and is mostly a tower but with some structural embellishments at the base. It is also way too near the water and, in fact, there is currently water submerging the first few floors. I think there’s something about the occupants just staying inside when it floods, though that seems counter intuitive. Someone is interviewing a lone, blond man maybe in his late 20s. He seems foreign, probably European, though he is speaking more articulately than most native speakers. I think he’s talking about the structural design and why it is flooding.

I am right outside of a house that kind of reminds me of the old house. With me are John Mayer, Phil Lesh, and Mickey Hart. We all (except maybe Mickey?) have instruments and I think comprise a band called ‘the Dead’. I have a guitar that is a caramel brown and seems really smooth. We’re playing the song Cassidy and are in the jam section. I say ‘go deep’ and we all get pretty out there. I hold down all of the strings and tap them in different places to make weird sounds. I think we eventually bring it back to the main theme. Also right inside the house there are a few shower stalls.




I am somewhere outside, I think at Frenchman's, with Timmy and Michelle Wagner. We are sitting by the tailgate of someone’s truck. Timmy is trying to see a movie with me, so I’m trying to find a time that works between me going to class and work. Michelle pulls up a TMCC website on a laptop and enters my classes into a schedule. I realize I could’ve just logged in and shown them that, but think it’s better to just not say anything at this point.

Was in an unfamiliar house that I guess I was moving into. There wasn't much light except that coming from some side lamps. There was lots of stuff everywhere. There were other people living in the house. I was talking to someone in another room while I moved someone else's stuff out of the room I was going into. I wasn't sure who it belonged to but I hauled some of it to a room upstairs. At the top I heard someone coming out of the shower and the door was open. I realized it was Amber and didn't wan't to appear like a peeping tom and so literally slid back down the stairs.

Next I was starting up my jeep which was full of people. Amber was in the rear passenger side seat. I asked if she had any suggestions for chill music to listen too while I drove. "hmm you could listen to what I'm listening too." she said. I realized she had earbuds in. I asked what she was listening too and she started to get really embarrassed. I think she was listening to a soundtrack to some very soap-opera-esk show.

I am in some kind of bathroom or shower room. There are two larger stalls, I think with a toilet and shower head (just on the wall, a drain for the runoff) in each, that are laid out as inverses of each other. There is some girl in the other one. I think that we have been assigned to these at the same time based on us being opposite gender or something to do with our siblings? I am sitting on the toilet in here and can see her showering through the gaps in the stall walls. Her back is facing me, but the side of a breast could still be revealed in a slight turn of her body. I’m more worried about her seeing me though, as I think there’s a mirror in which she could do so. I move my body a bit to where I can no longer see her. Now, I think this girl is gone and Melissa is here in the stall with me. For a moment we were at a double sink counter, me at the left. It felt like we were on a trip and it felt weird to have the left side. I think we’re now holding each other in the shower water and talking. We touch each other.




I am with Dad and Makayla on a sprawling beach of bright ochre sand. I get the notion to run and jump into the water and tell them I’m going to do so. I run, but when I get to the water I am met with a powerful current that renders me incapable of getting any farther. I keep trying but cannot surmount the bombardment of the unceasing tail end of these ocean waves. They are quite long, and I notice how hard they churn the water.