Mostly just one long dream and a small disjointed fragment from an early awakening. Dream Fragment: Something about a physical vault for porn; it was a gazebo-like building in the middle of a tiny island surrounded by a lot of water, but there were some nearby cliffs. I remember seeing it from there. H was in the dream and I remember feeling aroused from some of the images. I was sorting them, like they were in a computer file system. I wanted to finish what I was doing and spend some time together with H after I was done. Dream: Me and H were in the car. We were somewhere in Northern Ireland, we'd gotten there by boat but I don't have a dream memory of the boat trip. We drove through a few small villages. I remember someone telling me or talking about the weather, about how this little village here was always damp, wet, and cold. There were some very curvy roads, surrounded by nice and scenic woodland. Along the way two old men were just waddling about the literal middle of the road and I told H to slow down and be careful, since I was afraid we might hit someone like them. H didn't seem too bothered but slowed a bit. We went up some hills, eventually we arrived somewhere. We came here for an appointment apparently. Initially in the dream I was confused, because I didn't remember having any appointments coming up soon, but it was for H actually. I remember being at the lobby/desk and "checking in", I was asked for a name and gave mine, and I remember looking away at a clock on a wall and saying it was a 12:30 appointment. The man said something but I don't remember what, but everything was OK anyway. Then I went into a bathroom. It didn't have lights? But it had some natural light, but it was still dim. I don't remember what I was wearing up to this point, but now I was changing clothes, getting dressed as if going to bed. I had no pants on or anything but my top was the same one I actually slept with. The dark green one, which is long enough that it covered my private areas, so I just walked out of the bathroom not caring too much about it, walking more or less straight ahead, as I could see H sitting on a chair in a room, through a door. Understandably I did get some strange looks and glances from the nurses/staff as I walked towards that room. I walked into the room and expected the therapist would close the door. She didn't, but then it closed itself, or I did it. The room was small and plain with a typical office-like look, but it only had two walls, the one with the door, and the one behind where me and H were sitting. There was no ceiling and beyond the two missing wall sections was a green area, and some kind of stadium? I remember waiting for the therapist to say something. At this point, I was still in some dream-confusion about whether this appointment was for myself or H. But then H spoke and I encouraged it too, so they'd talk about some anxiety stuff. This part of the dream recall is a bit vague for some reason but some people across the way interrupted the therapist somehow; they shouted, calling for attention or notifying her of something? She seemed embarrassed and also unsure of herself. I remember she looked a bit like H's sister, but was naturally blonde and had at least twenty or more years on us. A bit out of nowhere, her superior showed up, a tall man in a suit, juxtaposing with her naturally small stature. He put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting way and told her something, but they were too far for me to hear. At some point through all of that I remember noticing my bare left knee. Before sleeping, the past night, my knee had been having burning sensations and hypersensitivity. When I looked at my knee now in the dream, I could see a circle of strange bumps, with somewhat concentric lines of more bumps on the inside of that circle. There's a transition of some kind. All of a sudden we're elsewhere, home maybe? I tell H I can't remember how we got here. I tell H that I have no recall of a trip back here and I feel confused, but do not remember to question reality. The next thing I remember is we're in a mine of some kind. Dark, poorly lit, but the lights are a warm colour. Details are missing. At some point, I see a grenade on the floor, over a grate of some kind. Oddly enough, I'm unafraid of the grate despite realising there's a bottomless pit under it, and I see the grenade still has its safety pin. I grab it and inspect it. I remember H talking to me and me to H as I was doing this. On the grenade, with the bad lighting, I try to read for instructions; although I have a general idea of how it should work, this grenade seemed very small, I could make a fully closed fist around it. The only writing I could see on it was a lot number of some kind. It was difficult to read because of the light and the fact that it was just sort of embossed into the surface, there was no contrasting pigment. It read "l624" or something. Disappointed by the lack of instructions, I threw it gently over onto a nearby tunnel that was lit by a lamp. I didn't want to hold on to it if I couldn't be sure how it worked. But then I detonated it or something, but while there was a big blast, there wasn't much light or noise. Virtually no damage occurred either. Then I remember walking up a slope in the mine with H, and as we were about to exit the mine (which in the context of the dream was like our hideout) for some reason, a woman about our age showed up. She just walked in but was not hostile to us. A small-ish bear and a wolf of the same size followed her. She had semi-blonde and very curly hair. We both spoke to her and the animals went into the mine to sleep; H stayed speaking to her and I followed the animals, finding them asleep. I gently woke the wolf up and he growled at me, I was unafraid and let him feel that I was happy he was interacting with me. I let him sniff my hand and then he seemed to like me. Then I got some notifications on some interface overlay that the girl favourited some things I'd posted? It didn't make much sense. But now she like me and H more. The last bit of the dream is kind of gone from memory now, but it involved some refugees she was helping and that we were then helping too. Might edit in some notes later but a bit tired of typing.
Updated 06-25-2020 at 11:18 AM by 95293
I am with Brooke in what looks like Mom’s backyard. I see a woman in a police uniform or something similar walking along the top of the fence, left to right. She does this easily. There is also a uniformed man off to the left that is just hanging back. I take out my phone and start taking a video of the woman. This causes her to become angry and ask what I’m doing. I tell her I’m just taking a video, knowing there’s nothing she can do about it. I go around to the front and see a cop? car in the driveway (the driveway seems longer and more level). I take a picture of the license plate and the VIN. She watches me, still irritated, but does nothing.
I haven't been keeping on top of my DJing but recall has remained fairly consistent throughout. Still go through my recalled dreams every morning even if I don't make note of them. Today several dreams, some fragments of them here. I think the order is more or less the same as the order of their happening. Dream Fragment: H was driving. Remember being in a town like where I'm originally from. Night time or just past sunset. There was a previous dream in which I was in the car with dad, so perhaps this was kind of a repeat? But in the dream with dad, I took over driving for a bit and somehow sort of spun it out of control and bounced it on its sides, only for it to land fine and carry on anyway. Dream Fragment: Was at a supermarket. Don't remember exactly everything I got or did, but do remember that by the end of the sequence I was looking through some kind of storage cupboards for tins of canned meat or cheap baked beans. Probably brought on from having a craving for meat an hour before bed. I also remember that the supermarket was poorly lit or dark, but had a warm (in a nice sense) atmosphere to it. Dream Fragment: This one was obviously because of playing Stellaris recently. Was managing some kind of space empire and the interface looked weird. I remember sending fleets to certain star systems on the empire's borders or beyond. In the dream I can remember talking to someone, we were discussing the choices I could potentially make with a unique society altering technology, which would let me restructure some native traits of the species. For whatever reason I remember picking some choice that would let me sacrificie "Noo"s (Pops, essentially?) for some kind of benefit, but I don't remember what. Something about this melded with archetype memories of Master of Orion II. Dream Fragment: Something about being on a slide. I don't think I myself was in the dream, more like it was a scene from a show. It was the "past" (there was some time travel transition in a previous dream) and this kid and his dad were in this covered slide. It was a very long slide but they were going slowly, and there were two other men, friends of that dad. They were all discussing holidays or something. Outside, visible through some tiny porthole windows on the slide, was a guy on a red motorcycle or something? The dad and the kid were saying something about making fun of the motorcycle guy because they were somehow faster going from one end to the other than he'd been. I remember a dark BMW or dark Mercedes somewhere. The weather was grey and overcast but fairly bright. Notes: - I have already noticed this a few times in the past, but usually around an hour or so before bed, whatever I do or happens seems to be more likely to appear in some form, even vaguely, in my morning dreams. Namely the looking through cupboards with a craving thing, in the case of this DJ entry. - In the space empire dream, I remember being dissatisfied with the whole sacrificing thing, mostly because it seemed to just be massively inconvenient; I had the feeling I was locked into the choice or something.
Some dream fragments. Initially had better recall but didn't manage to type as much as I wanted in my initial notes and so recall just faded for the most part. Some pre-sleep journaling too because I haven't really done that a lot. Although I have had recall of dreams from all the previous nights since my last DJ entry, I haven't been making notes in the morning for the most part. H's alarm can be distracting and causes me to lose details sometimes, which puts me off from trying to write, besides all the other usual issues. Pre-sleep: Some stray thoughts about something lead me to loosely focusing thoughts on memories from my childhood, primarily from the ages between three and five. Somewhat vivid memory of the balcony, but details missing and wrong. I hoped my focus on these memories would perhaps carry on into dreaming and allow me to explore the memories a bit better. Some recall of trying to place myself in the height I would have been, meaning a different point of view from the lower glass panes rather than the higher ones. I remember having other conscious thoughts about the memories but I have forgotten the specifics now. Dream Fragment: Was having a discussion with a girl about my age, we were talking about buck/boost transformers and how they saved power or something. I was doing a poor job of explaining and getting to the point I wanted to make and so she started to think I was trying to make some sort of sales point without evidence. I was at some kind of hotel? Initially I was speaking to her from a hallway that had these sliding doors to the outside; she was out on a courtyard of some kind, under a summer/pool tent of sorts. I'd met her at a fairly high floor in the building, 30 something? I had been going up through the floors using stairwells with my family up to this point, but I think they just continued on without me. I think near the end the girl's form shifted between herself and some male dream character. Before I got to the hotel, I remember travelling with my family through some highway, dad was driving. At some point we weren't in the car anymore but sort of still on the road. I remember my parents asking T if he should put an extra layer/top on. L made some comment? We were on the start of a mountain path or something. We were apparently going some place cold, I remember a dull grey day, misty. Reminds me now of some real beach or coastal area I've visited in waking reality many years ago with my family. Dream Fragment: Called an aunt. Brief conversation, remember noting it took no more than five or six minutes. Vague visual recall of orange phone screen? Notes: - The orange phone screen was most likely a detail of a home phone; either the one we have now or the one from my parents' house. - The highways in the dream remind me of the ones from Fallout, possibly because of playing it recently. - Not entirely sure what brought on the context of discussing electronics but possibly just a more obvious intrusion of information consolidation processes; my apparent ignorance on the subject in the dream perhaps being caused by the fact I rarely discuss the specific topic in question.
A particularly long dream. I had other dreams from earlier awakenings, but again I did not make any notes because of how tired I felt, it felt like too much effort. The other dreams weren't as vivid as the long one anyway. Edit: Self-memo: The original dream notes for this dream are not as extensive because I stopped writing them when I started writing this DJ entry to try and get as much detail from the lingering dream memories. Dream: Starting from the end back; when I was woken up by H placing their hand on my head and speaking to me in waking life, I was walking with some determination towards a parked yellow car in the distance, at an earlier location that was prominent in several parts of the dream earlier; beside the car were shows, yellow too and this was important to me in the dream for some reason. On waking up I had a slight annoyance that I couldn't get to them now that I was awake, but this lingering feeling passed quickly. This place was a distorted version of the area immediately outside my old home. It was day time, early morning with beautiful sunlight and the cul-de-sac was three or four times longer than it should be, somewhat wider too but not half as much as that. The whole area also sloped up gently on the more distorted side (the side that I never had much reason to be in). There was a zig-zag of pavement with cars parked along it, many of which were red or yellow, many being a mix of the two, like a VW type van which was mostly red but had a yellow boot door. I had just been at a door to a shop of some kind? I was with Ni and a kid from my childhood, but I don't remember exactly who it was, possibly P, short dark hair, spiky? At this door, Ni asked if my shoes could be painted yellow there and some voice or something decided "no". At this point in the dream or earlier I remember looking down and seeing I had some sort of fabric shoes, like those that we often used for indoor gym classes in my childhood. The shoes were white, as they would be, but for some reason, I had yellow sweat pants, the same tone of yellow as every other yellow that had shown up so far in other dream elements. I remember thinking the white and yellow matched fine, but for some reason this wasn't enough to stop me from wanting the shoes to be yellow too. Before we got to the shop and we were walking "up" the cul-de-sac, there was a more normal layout. There was a truck double-parking behind some cars, all too common, but it supposedly had dye or paint of the colour I wanted but it had been at this point that Ni and the other one appeared and "guided" me toward the door. I was a bit disappointed because I was sure the truck's paint would be fine, though after they appeared I got the impression maybe I was going to be stealing from the truck or something. Up to this point I had been running around and faffing about on the more prominent dream location immediately in front of my old building. It was like a room but not. There were sofas and other things typical of a living room I think, but there was this big group of kids, mostly teen girls and some teen boys. I was annoyed with them because of what they'd done before, and because they were being passive-aggressive to me now too. I was looking incessantly for a laptop that I knew I had left on a table in the middle of these sofas, but these teens had moved everything since I had last been here in the dream, everything was covered in their stuff; bags, coats, etc. I remember looking through many laptop-bag like bags but it wasn't in any of them. I even looked in a bag that had a multi-bag tag* to it. After looking in that bag I remember something about a text command which may have been why I couldn't find it, but at that point I got distracted by someone and then the whole yellow shoes thing began. Before that, I remember going through a wide hall, the exit for which was on the wall of the building and lead to that sofa area. The hall was dark, with an impression of night time to it despite being indoors. There were two of these teen girls doing some kind of work out on some bars on the ceiling, practically twisting themselves around the bars in some kind of pull-up exercise. They looked at me with mocking faces, I was very annoyed with them at this point already. Before that part, I remember being in a forest on the other side of this hallway-tunnel. I think I was heading toward it when I had tripped and the group of teens, who I was walking together with, started to kick me. The girls were especially mean, kicking me very hard and then when it was over I remember feeling like it was all going to bruise. I felt angry that they abused me as a group and I could see some sort of interface thing that showed me their avatars, their nicknames and how many times each of them kicked me. I told myself I was going to keep this to report them and to show at a hospital when I got there for treatment. At this point I was convinced I was going to go to a hospital, as soon as I could, because I was afraid of massive bruising over my body, especially my face and head. Maybe I was concerned about internal bleeding too or something. Although in the dream I don't remember pain as I would from waking life, I still had a dream perception of having been extensively hurt. Before this, I remember a fairly peaceful forest, day time, possibly afternoon judging by the yellowed colour of the light. It was a specific type of pine forest typical of my native country, the ground was dry I seem to remember, despite a number of ferns here and there or grass. There had been something about socks and the laptop at this early point of the dream but unfortunately I'm having difficulty recalling anything else; I have the feeling there was a transition of scene before this that put me in that forest, but I can't remember details before it. Notes: - When I was 8-10 is when I knew Ni and potentially some of these teens. - I remember at that age there was someone I knew from school who had some gold nike shoes or something. I remember liking the shoes, especially because of the gold colour, as I've always been partial to gold. - The main reason I can think of for the antagonism in the dream is because at school I had a very difficult time getting any of the girls from my classes to like me, even when I was being nice it'd often be the case that I was ridiculed, something that I think was partly driven by boys that these girls did like. - In the dream I think the yellow shoes thing was something about making a point. - Although the dream heavily featured things from my teen life (11-17 mostly), I didn't have the perception of being any younger than I am now; I think a lot of these types of situations in dreams for me are always with me being my current age because I don't particularly feel any different now than I did from 5, 10, 20 years ago, aside from my pain problems. - More of a passing thought: At school I was almost always the youngest in a class, or amongst the youngest. In my family I am the youngest too, and interestingly Ni (who basically tried helping me in the dream) is one of the younger ones in his family, too. - The contents of the bag that had the "multi-bag" tag were "quantic" and could be accessed from other bags too, a feature I've often used in modded Minecraft, incidentally a game I started playing in my late teens before it was even popular or had such extensive modding.
Updated 04-01-2020 at 12:50 PM by 95293
I am at work with Laynie, though this place looks completely different. It is two stories and mostly an atrium space. It seems that the mezzanine floor branches off into the shopping spaces. There are sets of double doors to the outside right below the mezzanine floor. We are interrupted by me noticing a known shoplifter coming in the doors. He is carrying a bag and dragging another rolling one, and I recognize him as one of the two guys that gets a few pairs of Levi’s every few days. I think we just wait to see what he does and then lose him for a bit (it’s fairly busy in here). When he reappears, he is on the ground floor, bag a little fuller, heading for the doors. I start sliding down some wide, green pole type thing. He starts to double back so I hesitate and then finish sliding down when he starts back for the doors. I guess I don’t feel like stopping him but just getting a plate. He glances around before going out right behind a small group, going off at the doors. I think he notices me going out right behind him, but probably thinks I’m just a customer. I take out my phone and call Laynie but it is Dad who answers. I only pay a little bit of attention to the conversation as I’m watching the guy meet up with the other outside of a white van. I think it has Arizona plates, and I can’t memorize it without drawing too much attention to myself. I keep walking past it to blend in and notice two vans to my right. They both have Grateful Dead stickers and are parked close together; I think they must be together. The cars have thinned out by this point and I stop walking. I stand for a little and then head back. The white van starts pulling out and I think I’ll get a great look at the plate, until it turns and starts coming this way, the wrong way (with no front plate). The man driving it has tan skin and scruff and is either bald or has very short hair. He glances at me as he passes and I wonder if he’s seen me before and recognizes me. I now see the other guy walking away from a maroon car. He has a backpack on and is going back into the mall. I just about step in front of a taxi in the road, but he sees me, stops, and waves me forward. I wave back, slightly self conscious of being on the phone and not paying attention. I hang up and meet up with Laynie inside. We, and quite a few other people, are on the second floor, sitting. We are sitting in what almost feels like bus seats arranged in a circle or half circle around the mezzanine/atrium. Two younger, Hispanic guys in grey/darker hoodies and beanies arrive, and one starts shooting off a handgun. There are windows next to our seats, which he shoots out. I think he is shooting above heads to scare, but I don’t rule out the possibility of him shooting to injure or kill. I listen to the shots ring out, more than there should be in a pistol’s magazine. He makes his way back this way and I brace for the possibility of getting shot. He announces that this is because the two men thought they noticed someone following them. I genuinely think that must’ve been someone other than me. He says something about a Hyundai and then trails off, probably realizing it wasn’t smart to give away the make of car. He seems like he is being made to do this. I think the world, and now even this town, is becoming a scary place.
A few fragments but I remembered some more detail as I read and rewrote my notes from the morning. Dream: In the old version of the square in my home town. It’s altered compared to my actual memory of it however. It was a bigger area somehow; this may relate to the fact that my memories of this version only exist from my childhood as it changed pretty early on in my life. But the dream takes place in a present time. I have abilities from Diablo 2, more specifically Sorceress and Amazon abilities. I remember an interface overlay like in the game where I could pick the spells from. Noteably I remember the explosive arrow and glacial spike abilities, but on closer inspection the glacial spike was actually called frostga. I was shooting a bow with explosive arrows at these two guys that were just running around a bit aimlessly I think. They just wouldn’t die though and I kept running out of mana, for some reason glacial spike used a lot but explosive arrows didn’t (some uniques in the game granted it as a passive modifier, derived from that?). Dream Fragment: I remember there were transitions but the main place in the dream was this Egypt themed zone like a level from Unreal Tournament. It was night time and the zone in itself was more like a floating platform high up I. The sky. It had the shape of a circle but extended out of itself into “knots” on four corners? Despite being night time it was fairly bright, moonlit mostly. But there were glitches with the lighting, like the level wasn’t finished properly, so some objects and areas were just far too bright like the gamma was wrong just for those bits but I accepted this as something that does happen. Dream: Was with mom and dad in the car, we were downtown but everything looked so different, more like a post modern and brand new style than what I think I would have expected, which would be old buildings. Dad was commenting on how empty the entire area was. I don’t remember commenting myself. Nothing felt surprising or unusual in the dream. We went past some museums, one had written in big block capitals at its entrance: PAPU or something of the sort. As we went past it, I saw an ascending escalator inside the museum through some large and curved glass panes. I had a deja vu in the dream when I saw this. We went a bit further along and I remember having thoughts about how this area was supposed to be for modern cars only or that it had been pedestrianised. We arrived near the square next to the river but it all seemed pedestrianised and like we weren’t supposed to be in the car here but dad didn’t realise. A blonde or fake blonde and sort of nearly pale white lady walked up to us and then we weren’t in the car anymore but I thought nothing of it. She told dad that he couldn’t drive here, only “on the basement level” (to park?). There was a platform with road on it that was a lift that went underground just a bit ahead; I think I saw this before the lady was there, but I remember interacting with some console which had a blue GUI with options displayed. The last and only option I remember said something like “1950s (1980)”.
Morning of March 8, 2020. Sunday. Dream #: 19,438-01. Reading time: 54 sec. In my transition from complete lucidity to liminality near the beginning of my dreaming experience, I think about the nature of imaginary physicality, though it does not correlate with the usual falling sensation anticipation. As the rapid morphing of various random settings slows and stabilizes, I see a variation of the “Gunsmoke” Dodge City set, though its implication is ambiguous, as both people on horses and modern cars are present and in motion. I know that horses are more of an instinctual rendering when imaginary proprioception is an anticipated factor, whereas cars, although still signifying the physical body as sublimated while dreaming, indicate a partial level of cognizance. As a result, my liminal state integrates the ambiguity of both in an atypical form of sleep-wake mediation. What results, as I am moving into my sleep cycle instead of out of it, is that all the cars unrealistically rotate, reminiscent of a tornado, ballerina’s pirouette, or helicopter rotor system (all of which are variations of mediating this process) as I allow my lucidity to lessen. There is no emotion as only one horse bucks at the impossible scene (only because I briefly anticipate it). The cars do not lift off the ground but rapidly rotate in place until their spinning makes them a seemingly transparent circular anomaly. After a few minutes, I allow the scene to fade.
Yesterday was quite a busy day so even though I'd made notes on waking, didn't get a chance to write the dreams on the DJ here. There's a fragment from today too. Last night I tried to incubate a dream about a painting I have on my easel at the moment. I want to figure out how to do these clouds like another painting I've seen very recently. Unfortunately every time I was in the process of visualising the dream and setting intentions to become lucid etc., my thoughts would start drifting away in a random direction and it would take me a little while before I realised this was happening each time. In the end I guess I just fell asleep, but had no dream that I can recall relating to this incubation. Either way, may continue to try and incubate this specific dream over the next few nights. If nothing else, it'll get me thinking about the painting. Dream Fragment, one day ago: My sibling T, driving. I'm in the car too, but on the back seat? It's dad's car I think, or something like it. Countryside roads and hilly landscape. The sky is a bit grey, but it's daytime. Looked more like here than there (old home). Someone else is in the car with us, not sure who, but they're of small stature. Female? Makes a comment on how good T's hair is looking. I think to myself, or perhaps even comment out loud about how much better the hair does seem versus the last few years. Scrap, one day ago: Fighting/shooting in a game. A mix of Unreal Tournament and a tank game I've played more recently. Dream Fragment, today: I was playing or in World of Warcraft. I was playing a female gnome rogue and was in the Wetlands, I remember the grungy and practically wet atmosphere quite well. I saw another gnome player, but they were a Horde character somehow. I noticed they'd spotted me so I used stealth and waited for them to come past. I opened with a stun from stealth and then after the stun I tried to manage my energy so that I'd be able to interrupt any spells as they'd start casting. The enemy gnome was a mix of a warlock and a mage? I seem to remember winning the fight but it felt like it took a very long time. No notes.
Two or three dreams. Initially didn't hold on to details so recall is a bit fuzzy overall. Dream Fragment: I was in dad's scenic, sat at the back. Someone else, too, maybe my sibling T? Mom was on the drivers seat, which was on the wrong side for the car. We're in the middle of some city. It feels like a familiar place but doesn't seem to be anywhere specific; it's sunny and I remember green trees. We're close to some parking spaces. Mom gets a call on her phone and has to take it so for some reason she gets out of the car. I step out too and with a gesture suggest that I can park the car. She gestures back a "sure, whatever", obviously concentrating on the conversation on the phone; I then get in the driver's side. At first I drive forward a bit and then start reversing and turning into one of these parking spaces that was free next to some other parked cars. I get it nearly right, smack in the middle on the first try but I remember feeling the pedals and that reversing felt a bit jerky, so I tried to take care. Still, I managed to let it jerk at the end of manoeuvring, making the back hit a stone wall that ran along behind the parking spaces. I could feel it was a small impact and only the plastic bumper would have touched the wall. Then dad appeared, walking across the front and commenting something? I sort of proudly told him about how I did or something. Dream Fragment: Some other dream. I remember being at my old home, in my former room. It's dark, the curtains are closed. I'm uncertain about what version of room layout this is in the dream. I was looking at texts on a phone, my first phone maybe? It was a red phone. I am my current age, however. I was checking a text from my childhood and school friend, Di. Looking back on texts before his reply, I had apparently messaged him, ages ago. He was now finally replying, saying he was sorry, but that he was now pan sexual or something. That didn't make much sense on its own, but I understood it to mean that he had become trans (similar sound?). Further, he said that he wouldn't be able to meet with me [ever again] because of [two letter acronym?]. I forget the rest of the text exactly but I remember feeling disappointed somehow. I had a number of passing thoughts about potential replies I could give, or whether it would be worth bothering at all. Other passing thoughts about how I used to remember him, and about how I could mention some funny memories in a text reply. Dream Fragment: There was a third dream but even though it was the last one, I don't really remember anything except that it was a city-building sim game of some kind. Notes: - In the second dream, I remember I felt overall sad and disappointed. I was happy that my friend had moved on or something, but I suppose I've never really let go of how our relationship as friends just evaporated over a number of years, for no special reason that I was ever able to discern. - In the first dream, while mom did use to drive, that was years ago before I was born. My mom hasn't driven since then at the very least. - Mom's distraction with the phone somehow feels related to how she's been behaving lately when she speaks to me on the phone; it's not that she's distracted from me, it's more that she's distracting herself. Some element of worry present here. - I and H have been playing a city-building game quite a bit lately, which is probably what the third dream was based on.
After a break of several weeks, the car dream has returned this week. I spend some time dealing with some issues regarding my fathers estate over the weekend, and expect this is what has caused the dream to come back. As in earlier instances, the dream starts with me waiting in my grandads old reliant in my parents driveway for my sister and mom. I am in the middle of the front tan vinyl bench seat and have the tan lap belt fastened around my waist. My younger sister is opening the passenger side door and sitting down in the passenger seat next to me not long after the dream starts. She is wearing the same red overalls and tan sandals she always wears. After sitting down in the passenger seat, she closes the door and then fastens the tan shoulder belt. My sister and me then spend a really long time waiting from mom to come out of the house and get in the car. My sister keeps trying to talk to me, but I keep trying to avoid her because her breath is putrid. She also keeps putting her head on my shoulder to try to get my attention. I just want mom to come out of the house and get in the reliant so we can go. She is nowhere to be seen though, and I am stuck waiting in the car with my sister. Finally, I look towards the house and see mom locking the door. She then walks towards the reliant and then fumbles through her purse for the keys when she gets to the driver side door. When she finally finds the keys, she unlocks the driver side door and then opens it and sits down in the empty driver seat on my other side. I feel really squished and trapped between my mom and sister while mom adjusts all of the mirrors. When mom finally has all of the mirrors adjusted how she wants them, the turns the key in the ignition to start the reliant. The car makes a few groans but doesn't start up. Instead, the groan of the engine trying to start is replaced by a buzzing sound and the dash is illuminated with red lights. Mom turns the key a few more times, but each time the engine doesn't start and I see the red lights and hear the buzzing sound. After a few failed cranks, mon stops tying to tell me I need to calm down. She tells me she is doing the best she can and she will get the car started.. I noticed her breath is worse than my sisters when she is taking to me about needing to calm down. She then starts pumping the accelerator and turning the key, but each crank still ends with the buzzing sound and red lights. She eventually decides to get out and look under the hood. Before getting out, she again tells me I need to calm down. When I ask if I can get out, she tells me I need to keep my seat belt on. I feel really trapped while she is out of the car because I am still buckled to the middle seat and my sister is still next to me invading my space. We wait in the car for a while. Mom eventually closes the hood and then gets back into the reliant. She starts pumping the accelerator and then tries turning the key, but again the car doesn't start and there is just the buzzing sound and red lights. She keeps pumping the accelerator and truing turning the key, but the reliant sill fails to start and I hear the buzzing sound and see the red lights. After a few more cranks, mom again gets after me about needing to calm down and I smell her breath again. I have no idea why she keeps getting after me, because I think I am being calm and not saying anything to her. I wake up from the dream while mom is getting after me about needing to be calm before she tries again to star the reliant.
I am driving up to what looks like some event outside of a school or something similar when I notice Makayla and Mom walking this way on the sidewalk. My window is down and it seems like a very pleasant day. Makayla is holding an imperial pint glass that looks like it is full of very light Guinness or nitro cold brew. I roll up to her and the first thing I say is “my goodness… my Guinness.” She says it’s actually some flavored iced coffee (hazelnut?). I try a sip and it’s really frothy and not all that bad. I think I already have an iced coffee as well. I realize that I’m in the middle of the road and start moving again. There is one intersecting road to the right where I am going to try to turn around, but I think someone has already gone around me. I am at work when I notice a sketchy person heading towards the men’s shoes. I think he already has some merchandise and a small, empty looking, black plastic bag. When we see him turn the corner again, the merchandise is gone and the bag looks full. We agree that this makes him good to stop, so I try to get downstairs before he does. I do this pretty easily and get by the door that it looks like he is going for. I try to look inconspicuous, and when I look back I see that Bobby is right by him, talking to him, still in the store. I wonder what he could possibly be doing, until I see him start walking him back. This really irritates me. Back in the office, the guy is hesitant but compliant. He seems homeless. He says his name is Kenneth Cox and that he is 46? I get all the paperwork done before calling PD. I ask his birth date, realizing I’ll need it, and he says something like ‘5 o’clock’. He keeps giving me bullshit answers, and I can’t tell if it’s on purpose or if he’s just not all there. I realize he doesn’t have an ID, so PD’s going to have to come anyway. I think of how they may need video and how Bobby stopped him while he was still in the building, which irritates me more.
Just a dream fragment. Recall was a bit poor this past night and the night before, maybe because I've been a bit restless. Dream Fragment: I'm at an alternate version of the big square in my old home town. An older version of it, I think? I got in a car with one of my aunts (B). It was dark. We drove somewhere underground, where it was also particularly dark but there were a few lights here and there at foot level or something. There was a green hue to everything. The underground area was like a tunnel at first, a bit like some of the subway tunnels in the town. But then it became narrower and more like a sewer of some kind. Then I remember being on foot on my own. There were narrow concrete straits over darkness below. There was green-ish looking water coming out of cylindrical openings in some of the concrete walls. Notes: - Although I didn't realise it on waking up or during the dream, it made sense that the underground area resembled the subway tunnels, because under that square in waking life is where the station is. - I remember having some conversation with my aunt, but can't even remember what about.
I have arrived in a green area shaded by trees. It seems that I’m traveling somewhere, and this is a stop along the way. The dream doesn’t make it explicit, but this seems to be the Czech countryside in the early 20th century – more or less. Gradually, other people arrive. I converse with a woman there as we wait. A couple large dogs arrive as well and are running around getting in people’s way. I order them to sit, figuring that they’ve just run here ahead of their masters, who won’t be far behind. They obey. One of them lies down, then rolls over on its back, obviously looking to get pet. The car arrives – a distinctly old-fashioned one. (Although there is some uncertainty there, as if the dream can’t quite decide on what sort of vehicle it should be. They all tend to be more or less interchangeable in my dreams.) There isn’t enough room in the car for everybody, but since I was there first, I get to be on its first trip. The woman I was talking to has to wait for its next one. I look around as we ride. The man next to me in the backseat is choosing the music that plays in the car via something rather like a touch-screen tablet framed in brown leather – much more aesthetic than the modern ones, I think to myself. Out the window, I see a turquoise river pouring over an oddly shaped stone formation into a lake – a place I’ve seen pictures of before but never visited. I turn around to continue to look through the back window as we drive by. I’m aware, as I look around, that in the not-so-distant future this area will be devastated by war. It adds a poignancy to being here in this beautiful place. The train – sure enough, it’s decided it would rather be a train now – approaches a platform, stopping under a curved wooden roof from which flowering vines hang down. An invasive species, I note. Parasitic to boot. But quite pretty, and so you can understand why people let it grow like this. In the future, there will be more of a push against it – but not so much here as in other places. A brief image comes to me of the future, of its yellow flowers filled with ash. It now seems as if the woman from before is on the train too, and along with another passenger, we continue our conversation. When I woke up, I remembered the following melody: I don’t think it was actually playing during any part of the dream – my impression is that it was connected to it somehow but happening on a different level of awareness. I find it rather odd that it’s in C# major since that’s not a key I ordinarily have much to do with. Maybe I waited too long before transcribing it and my pitch memory was off? Or maybe it was just in C# major. -31/1/20
After a break on Tuesday night, where I had a strange dream about being chased by a mob of vegan socialists the car dream returned last night. The wait in the car was like it has been since the dream returned where my sister is invading my space trying to get me to talk with her and it is all I can do to avoid her nasty breath. What I remember the most from last nights dream was my mom while she was trying to get the car started. In addition to being frustrated that the car was not starting, she was taking a break from trying to start the car after every few cranks to tell me that I needed to calm down. I don't think I was doing or saying anything while she was trying to get the car started, but for some reason she kept making it a point to let me know I needed to calm down and relax. She also kept saying things like that she was doing the best she could do and that she knew she would get it started. I have never really noticed moms breath in the dream but when she was invading my space telling me I needed to calm down, her breath smelled just as bad as my sisters always does. She got out to look under the hood a few times and each time made a point of telling me to stay buckled in my seat. As always happens, I woke up while mom was still trying to start the car. Not sure why mom kept telling me to calm down or why her breath reeked when she said this.
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