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Night before Monday 2nd January

The second of these two dreams I had great progress, as even though I woke up in that one just before becoming lucid, this marked the most times I've managed to do reality checks in dreams in 12 months. The scene, which involved a recurring theme about school, was unusually vivid this time.

* I was about to kiss a woman I knew from long ago, at my Mum's dining table, and weirdly we both put on these very small imitation glasses cut out of white paper. Mine had spirals cut into them over the eyes. I paused just before the kiss and realised that I wasn't attracted to that person. The dream scene [and perhaps the dream] ended there.

* I was on holiday with my Dad and he had been driving us down south but we suddenly arrived in a northern, beautiful mountainous part of the world. It was a green natural space with mountains in the distance. I think they were green too, the bits I remember noticing. The sun seemd to be out [mainly going by level of daylight I remember] but it seemed like very late afternoon, early evening (though not a noticeable sunset). I had in my mind that it was Canada.

I asked Dad as we had been heading south why had he diverted [or turned around?] and come so far north? He told me he had cows up here and needed to give them water. I think I asked how we got here so quickly and he said he made great time and did it in two hours. He mentioned how economical it was pointing out that it was costing him less than a flight up there. At this point I remembered it was in his old car and given how worn out the car was, I wondered if the wear and tear on the car would end up costing him more [Interesting I was asking QUESTIONS a lot / good CRITICAL THINKING].

We started walking through a grassy area with a worn public dirt path. It was obviously a natural space popular with lots of tourists. Dad's cows seemed to be roaming free here. At this point I wondered why he would need to drive all this way to give them water and wouldn't all the people around give them drinks [Not the best dream logic, but neither is looking after cows hundreds of miles away and driving there unplanned to provide water].

After that I thought about how long we were staying in that part of the country before we had to move on and decided I had enough time to drive somewhere [for the evening? Also where did I suddenly get my own car from up here? I thought I came in Dad's?].

The dream seemed to cut to me having arrived in the road by my old school. [SCHOOL: Huge DREAM SIGN]. I seemed to know that I wasn't a pupil at this school anymore [I didn't really reflect on this, I just knew like I would when I'm awake, like I knew that I'm older now and don't go to school anymore, without actually thinking those thoughts specifically. This is a big step from my usual dreams about school where I almost invariably don't know that].

I saw the pupils walking around. For some reason I had to attend lessons at the school today, even though I was now a guest. I started to think about which lesson I needed to go to first (as I had no timetable) [SCHOOL: Not knowing where to be next / missing / incomplete timetable, one of my biggest DREAM SIGNS]. I immediately thought to myself that this is what normally happens in my dreams - I think I thought it a couple of times - but I didn't immediately become lucid because this dream was one of the most vivid I can remember and I can still remember how strikingly it felt 100% real. The visuals were very vivid and clear. [I don't remember noticing temperature, any breeze, really noticing any noise but that's because I wasn't paying attention to any of them, just where I was and where I needed to be next].

I remembered what I needed to do to find out what lesson I needed to go to next, as I dream about the problem so often, that I needed to go to the classroom where my tutor was who was responsible for dictating my timetable at the start of the year. The very next thing I knew was I was pinching my nose to do a REALITY CHECK - but I have no memory of deciding to do so. I couldn't breathe when I held my nose and I remember instantly trying to make sense of this [I guess thinking it's not a dream or it's not a lucid dream or similar] whilst at the same time noticing that the dream had just disappeared and I saw the blackness of my closed eyes and realised I was awake.


Night before Tuesday 3rd January

* I was sitting on the right hand side (maybe 3/4 of the way towards the back) of what could have been a coach but later turned out to be an aircraft. I had a number of belongings that I was trying to gather up on my lap - I think articles of clothing, a rucksack and maybe some other bags. I think it was almost time to leave. I seemed to be worried that a guy to my left would try to mess with or steal some of my stuff, so I was trying to pack it all away in a way he wouldn't be able to get at it. I think I decided I was going to have to clip or tie something - maybe another bag - onto the back of the rucksack and I was worried he might try to steal from it when I wore it on my back.

* I was in some big canteen or cafe with some young guys. We had to wash the food off the dirty plates but we weren't doing all of the washing up work, we just seemed to be doing one step to make other people's jobs easier. I think we were supposed to take them and put them somewhere or do some other extra step and I think I was trying to skip that step (to save time and effort) and the other guys were telling me not to.

* In some very incoherent scene someone was wearing an LCD display. I think it was on their lower chest. It showed something to do with a salt level I think - but in this dream I'm pretty sure it wasn't anything as meaningful as the salt level in their blood (electrolyte balance). I had a task I had to keep repeating [which I can only remember very faintly and was probably very vaguely defined in the dream. It could have changed from moment to moment] which might have been getting table salt, presumably to influence this reading on his screen.

comment dream lucid

After a week with my new Fitbit, I evaluated my sleep patterns (which is how it should be used rather than obsessing about specific data… a note to myself) and completely changed my strategy for the night.
Simply, instead of focusing on the 6th-8th hour of sleep, I decided to focus on the 1st REM period and then on the 4th-6th hour - parts of my sleep that aren’t completely messed up yet.
So, the idea was an auto-shutoff alarm (vibrations only, 1 second… this wakes me up most of the time but doesn’t wake my husband) for the 1st REM period (fail, I wasn’t dreaming, light sleep only) and the second alarm for WBTB after 4 hours of sleep.

I had problems staying awake… only did a quick MILD.
Then a lot of really good dreaming. On and off, with a couple of very short awakenings.
Awakening again, from a NLD. Time for a LD. I use the “I am dreaming” mantra but only manage to say it twice...

I am standing on a cliff, on the edge of some deep cwm (amphitheater-like glacial valley). It could be Snowdonia, but it looks a bit wilder, maybe the Scottish Highlands. Some of the slopes are grass and gravel, some steep rocks. I remember my plan to fly. This is a great place to fly. And it's a dream, right, so I can fly, right? I look around again and the sub-optimal vividness makes it obvious.
It's that weird part of the day that only exists in some lucid dreams - too dark to be day, too light to be night, but it's also nothing in between... more like both night and day combined.
I jump off the cliff and want to fly. But I'm wearing a nightgown that completely blocks my movement like a straitjacket, so I can't spread my arms and I am losing altitude. In-flight, I take off my nightgown and throw it away. I'm naked now, but who cares here. I've lost too much height and I land softly on the ground. I notice I still have some stupid slippers on and I take them off too and throw them away.
Ahead of me is a rockface and some large boulders, I see a cave at its base. I feel drawn to it. But I tell myself no, the plan is to fly, I can come back here later.
I jump up twice. During the third jump, I remember my mini-goal - to look at the night sky, so I do a backflip and look up. There are little swirls everywhere. I focus more, wanting to see some space objects, and I see little planets with rings. Cool. I'm slowly floating on my back, looking at it in awe.
I get down on the ground again, really tempted by the cave, but I'm not sure if it's still there. I remember the permanence schema - it's always been there, and surely, it's still there.
I turn around and the cave is where expected, I walk towards it. There's a person I “recognize” as my companion inside. He has my discarded clothes and some camping gear. I can't fit in there with him inside, so I leave it to him. I want to try flying again.
But as soon as I turn and walk away from him, the dream fades.

After awakening, I regret not taking time to stabilize or to try to increase vividity. I was a bit like a kid in a candy shop there.
Technique-wise, I am not sure, what it was. DEILD? I wasn't completely lucid from the first second, but I still had the self-awareness carried on from the micro-awakening.
I know that the awakening happened in the middle of the REM period, so perfect timing.
There is also a possibility of the awakening being a FA.

9th October 2020

Scraps:

Something about eggs and cooking or baking with them. Remember looking in the fridge and either taking or leaving four eggs. (this felt quite accurate to how the kitchen area actually looks and feels in waking life)

There was a long dream but I left it too long and the recall faded.

10th October 2020

9:00

Fragment:

Was in some mountains. That place I had built on creative had appeared, the mountain area. I remember being of unproportional scale and trying to cover it to prevent someone else from seeing it? Something about lewd stuff being in there?

L and S and talking. Then in a mall, aunt I was also there. Something about a mini sand castle building kit? This is back in my old home area. Vague discussion with the three of them about people and how people had lost their jobs with the pandemic. I remark on how society has set itself up for failure. My point seems understood, but not accepted, by the others.

Scraps:

(still the previous fragment's dream) Roaming the town, looked like the capital. Some guy from a group or gang? In a jeep or SUV with them and my old friend JC from school. I go somewhere with them. I'm riding with them in the back but my position seems elevated. A casino. Discussing the level of peoples' intelligence. A powerful and rich woman owns this casino. I remember she wore a pearl coloured dress. She makes offerings out of kindness; food or currency? Not sure.

10:15

Fragment:

Some fantasy realm. I am a female character near the end of the dream and fight a bone dragon. I trick it with a fake hostage and it hesitates, I think it was a child cooperating with me. Then I trap the dragon with a vine plant of some kind (the word heron came to mind as I wrote the notes) and I start cutting the dragon's sinew and bone methodically, using a long slicing sword.

Before I am done, it starts to glitch or something and disappears. Then I climb up or use a platform elevator of some kind and there's another female character. She's my twin sister. She has a vivid red silk dress with gold trim, and I have a silk vivid green dress with a similar gold trim. The coloured areas have a subtle patterning but in the dream the dresses appear more western than I expect for their style.

She had been the dragon all along and thanks me for releasing her. She tells me about how I'd set up traps in advance and other things and comments on these things. But I don't remember any of it and start to come to the conclusion I'd made myself forget for some reason. Before I could dwell on it, we jump down to the stone courtyard where the fight had occurred, and we're about to go somewhere together, but the dream ends soon after. This area had a tinting like a bathing of sunset and I remember godrays and distant castles and such-like fantasy style structures.

---

Notes:
- The castle areas in the last fragment remind me of Lothric from Dark Souls III, but with a more cheery look.
- It's been a very long time since I thought about bone dragons, and it's probably the first time one has appeared in a dream.
- The woman at the casino seemed to look like a pin-up model or just had a general style of 50s/60s to her. I think she was blonde, which matched her pearl dress.
- There were a lot of dresses featured in these dreams, compared to normal (which tends to be 0).
- It's not the first time I was a female character, but it's not too common either. It felt as though the character was just me though, and not that I was in a role of some kind.

27th June 2020

Fragment:

Long dream but details faded. Remember being in the mountains, by myself. It was a sort of twilight hour. I remember looking under what was a false boulder and there was money under there, a few thousand euros and pounds. There was a message saying I was to take as much as I wanted.

I stuffed it all in my shorts pockets.

Then I remember thinking about going back home or something, I felt like I was lost in an unknown country. I arrived at a hotel place of some sorts and H was there in the role of a generic servant or something.

(Transition/recall gap.)

In some kind of big store. There's only a few people around, it's day time and not much artificial lighting is needed in here as it seems to be adequately lit naturally. Then this group of guys comes in and they are a bit stocky, not fat though. They are going to rob a vault at the store. They do so and there isn't much fuss about it, apart from the odd scream from a woman. I hear them talking or something and they managed to steal 6.2 billion.

I think about how much money that is, and how it looks so small physically, as they only carried a few sacks of notes between them. I remember maybe being in the car with them and talking about their robbed loot.

---

Notes:

- Although I remember having this dream since it wasn't that long ago, none of the visual recall seems to be coming back really, so in that sense I can't consider it very memorable at this time.
- I remember there was a fair bit of dialogue in this dream, but this is typically amongst my most easily lost details.

Some non-lucid stuff that I can remember from this morning. Only made note of the first dream in my initial morning notes.

---

Dream:

I was with dad, I think at a mall. It was like the one close to home but it was different somehow, though I had the same sense of familiarity. We were walking through the large and bright halls and as we turned around a corner we stopped, because I spotted this shop that sold ice cream and other stuff, like some pastries typical of my country and cotton candy. I wanted some of these deep fried things they had, even though I didn't feel all that hungry. I think it was just because it's been so long I had any. Not sure what dad wanted, but ice cream I think.

We approached the counter and two other people were being served. There were two guys behind the counter too, so I thought one of them was available and I pointed at something and asked about it. Before there was any reply, dad said "let the other people get served first" but for some reason, in the dream's context I had the ability to snap my fingers to toggle how busy the dream location was. Doing this had a completely intuitive feel. I did snap my right hand's fingers and the people being served simply disappeared, as did many other people walking by around us.

Now I asked about the food thing again. He explained they were long deep fried "waffles". Some were flavoured banana, strawberry or vanilla, with the possibility of a crusty looking chocolate topping, although I think it was more like icing.

I asked for one of the vanilla waffle things. While I was being handed my waffle and then tasting it, I think dad was getting something for himself. The taste was somewhat overly sweet, and bland at the same time (dream characteristic which didn't phase me), but it didn't taste of vanilla very much at all. My problem with the taste however, was the texture, as I was expecting something nice and crunchy, but it was completely soft. I felt disappointed and the few bites I took made me feel full really quickly anyway. I don't remember what I did with it and I don't remember either of us paying.

Then we continued walking through the mall, but into a different section which wasn't as open or light. In fact it felt pretty dark despite there being lights on. We walked into a supermarket inside the mall and I remember wandering around looking for something, but I don't remember what anymore. Eventually, empty-handed I went to the checkout area. I'm not sure it was dad that was with me anymore at this point.

But at the checkout there was a couple, they were buying a desktop computer oddly enough and they wanted help from an attendant because the computer "weighs 24kg and we can't carry it", I thought to myself that despite my weakness, this couple was just being pathetic or lazy. I did think about the effort of carrying it all the way to their car in the parking sub-levels, but I also thought it wasn't really fair to ask the attendant to do that.

Then the man from the couple started being weird, handling the computer case with relative ease he swung it around and it hit the checkout counter, on which I was sat. For some reason I was just sat there and observing. As he did hit the counter with the case, the attendant didn't even flinch like she hadn't noticed. He did it again a few times, harder this time. Now the case was visibly damaged and warped. At first the damage seemed passable, but for whatever reason I was able to look inside; I quickly told them that the circuit boards were cracked because of the metal plates pushing in and that it was no good now. The man started being upset and demanding compensation or something. Again I didn't think this was fair and either I said or thought "you break it, you buy it". The attendant seemed to be handling it though, but it made me feel no respect for this man.

There was a transition then. I don't remember where I was now, but I had some kind of interface. I could select worlds or something?

Then I remember a cutscene of some kind, it was in space. I could see several planets in a star system, and before it happened I knew the star was about to explode, and it did, in a green supernova, the planets burning away in a green flame of sorts. Strangely enough in the dream it was like I already knew about this cutscene (but it's the first time I've seen/dreamt it) so I was using some camera control tools or something to see the scene from different angles than it would normally play through.

I don't remember much else from this dream other than some vague memories of night sky and stars.

Dream Fragment:

At my old home, in my old room. I think what brought this dream on was some thoughts I had before bed about how my old room's balcony has never felt safe, and how I always fear mom may slip some day, or that I may somehow feel compelled to jump out of it (in madness or some other irrational state).

It was a sort of night time, a twilight of some kind. I walked into the room a bit further and saw my sibling T in the balcony. He had a top on but was otherwise naked, this was odd and bothered me on some level but I ignored it and we talked about something. From the balcony, below, I could see my other sibling was arriving with S in a white smart car. Then the doorbell rang and I walked out of the room and went to answer it, I already knew it was going to be L and S but I still picked up the intercomm set and asked who it was. I felt like I was being like dad for doing this (even though I don't remember dad ever doing this type of thing). L replied at first and I asked "who?" because I couldn't understand, then S spoke and her voice made it clear who they were and I pressed the button to open the building door.

Dream Fragment:

Driving, or being driven? With H. Not sure what car, but the landscape and town was a mix of my native home areas and some other places. I enjoyed the view of the nearby mountains in the dream. I remember we went over a bridge or two and there were two towns next to each other. It was day time, but sort of dark despite everything looking bright? Like I was seeing everything through heavily tinted glass, but I don't think the car's glass was tinted at all.

---

Notes:
- Last night as I had the thoughts about my old room and the balcony, I did think that it might cause me to have a dream about it. It's a shame I didn't take the opportunity to think about becoming lucid should it happen, as there were plenty of cues in that dream that could have resulted in some state of lucidity, but didn't. Keeping intention of noticing dream signs seems particularly poor for me, but I really think my sleep quality doesn't help.
- The thing with the dream-controlling finger snapping is typical of something my dad does in his non-lucid dreams too, so either that knowledge has created some kind of bias on me, or it's a trait that can be developed because of our personalities, or perhaps simply hereditary somehow. A point of note about it is that I play games a lot where "control" comes easily, so it may simply be a reflection of how there's a lot of self-agency in that type of context.
- The pastry type thing I wanted from the shop was more like a churro or something, but the thing I was given didn't really look like one. I actually remember they had some churro looking things locked up in a clear plastic chest that was hung on a wall on the customer side of the counter. I remember feeling like asking about it but like it would be too much bother to get one.

The idea that it was the last day of school, maybe college. I was w/ Kol in the mountains, the scene was very steep. Kendrick Lamar is there and I try to take a picture of him w/ Kol but we're on this very steep cliff and I'm afraid of falling down, I think end up falling off the cliff.

I'm in my father's old house in my sister's room laying in bed, there's someone in bed with me but it turns into Pennywise or the idea of him. He busts through the door, I close my eyes in fear. I can feel the vibrations and weight of him stomping slowly towards the bed.

The dream scene is at a summer camp. It feels like we've been there a while. Peck is there, we're in some sort of lodge. It's daytime but people are trying to sleep. I'm moving on a path throughout the camp that's surrounded by woods and a river. I keep thinking that I'm trying to leave the camp but it's not time yet.

Another dream where it's the last day of high school. There's also a football game going on.

I am at an Oktoberfest out in the woods. It seems like a cool setting and nice weather, and I think the family is here. I think we’re showing up a little late, only because this large tent is already fairly full of people. Everyone is holding a stein or glass full of foamy, light beer. I think there is a ticket system to get the beer, and I get in line to get mine. I end up with a smaller glass that has a handle on it (it looks like a pint glass with a handle) and is filled with light beer. I’m not sure why it isn’t just a stein, and I also thought there’d be a dark beer (I think I’m thinking of a dunkel), but I take a sip and it is decent. I notice an older man with a white beard who is pouring refills before glasses are even empty. I’m now outside (it seems dark out), at a circular table with the family. Dad already has a stein going, but he mentions leaving. I think we say bye, and he says that he isn’t driving. I don’t know who would drive him. I get a refill from the ol man when I’ve only got a few sips missing, saying ‘prost’. Now, (I’m not sure if this is before or after?) I am floating above this scenery. It is a beautiful alpine forest nestled among jagged, rocky mountains that seems very remote. I am maybe 1,000 feet high, slowly drifting forward. I am awestruck, peaceful, and euphoric. I will myself to float higher and I do. I do a slow back flip and unwillingly drift back down, landing on the ground.




I am in what seems like a small office in a college campus with the AAD 180 teacher Hillary Clark. I think I am taking a final. From her and my comments, it seems like I’ve got it all wrong. I think there is a question about a god-like musician, one of the options for answers being Estas Tonne. This one I know, as I really like him. I start playing some of his music on my phone. I ask her if she likes him, and she says no because it’s too slow. I mention that it can be but does get intense too.




Something about riding bikes somewhere with Makayla. She doesn’t want to because it’s ‘too far’, but I’m trying to show her on a map that it’s just past somewhere we’ve already ridden to. I think this sways her opinion.




I am on an asphalt path that meanders through the trees near a lake. I am on a decline right before an incline. The trees are orange and red, intense, but also somehow subdued in the cool air. There’s a gap in them, allowing a view beyond. It is so beautiful that I sit down to admire and enjoy it. I think there are people coming, but I don’t really care.

I am with Melissa in what seems like a mountainous area. We are in a cabin type building that feels like it’s on the edge of a gorge or some precipice. There is some event going on just outside the other doors that I think we’re a little late to. There is a cabinet for us to put our phones in, I think because there are no photos allowed. I place mine among the others, all screen up, as well as my glasses case? I feel my keys in my pocket, but decide they’re fine since they’re clipped to a belt loop with a carabiner. We step outside now and there are quite a few people, maybe our age or younger, sitting around on the rocky and uneven ground. They are all wearing puffy grey/blue coats that seem to be uniform, possibly with the same logo or team name. I realize that this is some sort of outdoor survival challenge and that I am wildly unprepared and they obviously are not. Melissa is in regular clothes and I am in a tie dye Grateful Dead shirt. It now starts, I think with a race.

My sister is picking me up from this place near the mountains. We go to a gas station and I go to the counter. I freak out a little bit and fall to the floor. I get up and think that I'm sort of losing it and my sister looks a bit concerned. We go back to that house and I think there's now some zombies there.

I'm in this open space that has a hill with a temple/building at the top of it. It feels like we're in a videogame. In the distance are these roads leading to another place. I think it's good vs. bad and there are teams of people. I fly down off the hill onto a road. I remember thinking I was gliding very far and I had done this before. This place felt really old and familiar. It felt like we were years in the past. On the other side of the map is this factory building. The bad guys are in there. I think they're horde but it's just a large group of people. They're flying into the building and I'm hiding on another side of this train. The train is actually surging and jiggling me around as I'm trying to hold on and hide from the horde. I go back to the hill and there are a lot of people surrounding this temple. I'm calling out to a particular girl thinking her name is KSHMR which IRL is a guy DJ but in the dream it's a girl. I start to fly up in the air. There are these tennis courts or basketball courts with giant black gates. I'm flying around sort of like spiderman jumping off of these giant black gates while yelling out to girl KSHMR. I was wearing my pink/white kimono.

I'm hiking through some mountains to get somewhere. I took a different route than other people to the point we're meeting at and end up arriving first. Other people are at this spot, but most of them are packing up. I start to unpack and get ready to lay down for some rest. It starts to drizzle rain, however, and my things, including my sleeping pad, start to get wet. Looking up at the sky, I can see it's still sunshine but a dark cloud is right over us and getting bigger. I hope it moves away soon and start blowing up my sleeping pad. I take deep breaths in and surprisingly blow up and significant amount of it in just a few breaths. Everyone from my group starts to show up at this point and ask how I got here so fast.

A few non-lucid dream sequences/fragments. My dreams felt very long and the places I was in felt vast.

---

Sequence 1:

One of the last sequences; I remember being driven by my partner to a small white building. It was the lobby for some sort of research complex. I went in and it was decorated with white and black inside, and there was a receptionist, a slim black-haired woman with her hair tied in a knot and she was wearing a black suit with skirt and a pair of glasses. She was speaking to someone else, both of them were standing up, though her desk was at a normal sitting height. She was explaining something to this other guy. She noticed me as I approached and I said I wanted a job there or something, she asked me what relevant skills I had; I answered truthfully (in waking life context), that I had not had many formal jobs. I also said something else random like I was good at blasting things or something.

She then said "let's see what you got then". And then I simply remember being in another area that looked like an old or ruined town, and what looked like trenches or canals. She was there and in a different outfit, with a sword; I had a sword and a shield and I could see myself in third-person now (so it had become like a game), wearing a similar roman-era battle outfit. She got a few blows in first but I bashed her with the shield and she fell on the floor and I struck her with the sword in long swipes; sword swipes left a glowing trail behind them.

There's something missing in my memory of the sequence here; next I am at what feels like an underground facility, the research complex. I am in a cylindrical room, on its upper half, which was separated from the bottom by thick glass and metal beams that made an aesthetically pleasing pattern. There were researchers here on upper half and on the bottom half I saw a test subject (which in my dream-mind I knew was a volunteer, like I was for the project) walk in through a doorway, to the centre of the room, where there was a raised platform. A researcher was in front of the subject on a control panel and adjust some things and the subject transformed into a 50ft/15metre creature; as a creature, it was pink and white-ish and with flowing appendages, not quite like tentacles. It also looked semi-translucent in parts. I have a dream-memory of seeing several transformations, each with very different resulting creatures, but all large.

At some point before this entire sequence I remember seeing a similar giant creature like the one that, before I "knew" about the research complex, and it had been in some sort of combat situation. It may have been in the previous sequence.

I remember watching more of these transformations and wondering if they would do me at some point. My memory of this dream sequence ends here.



^{Edit: Made this 3D image of how I generally remember the transformations room. I didn't add a lot of detail simply because I don't remember it anymore. The grain is just because it's a quick render (6minutes).}

Fragment 2:

This came before Sequence 1, and was just as long, though I only remember fractioned details.

I remember being in a different ruined city area, which I got to by going down some steps under a mountain or something. I remember seeing some sort of interface for my health points and equipment, and my health was very low. I had no top on either, and for some reason in the dream context that made me extremely vulnerable. There were rats and other pests around, and I remember I got to a place where there was some sort of faction's base, where they were defending from another faction. One of the guys there wanted me to train first, and he had me lie down on a table of some kind where they either injected me with something or attached something; either way, something like an exoskeleton formed and my fear of being vulnerable went away. They explained something about the process, how a sodium injection was required but wasn't the only key to this. I remember there was a training room in the downstairs of the base.

Fragment 3:

In the same region as before, I remember being on a stereotypical Asian looking rooftop, and looking around and seeing the mountain where I came from, with the steps under an overhang. It was day, but the sun wasn't very high and there was cloud cover, though it didn't quite cover the sun. There were a lot of shadows. Looking around more there were other mountains to the left and then further left were plains and forests, back up to the point of seeing the steps mountain again. On the rooftop was someone else. A boy or a girl or a young-ish person anyway. They told me something about the winds that were coming and that we had to do something. I could see large, fast, clouds coming very low from the mountains. I don't remember much else other than seeing this character before in an alleyway.

---

Some notes:

• The sparring match with the receptionist went on for quite a while and I remember that even though my sword would cut her to chunks, she would "respawn" and we'd fight again. The combat reminds me now of Warframe and Shadow Warrior (both of which have strong Asian themes).
• The first time I saw the giant creatures outside of the research complex I was not aware that they were human test subjects, so when I saw the transformation process I felt bad for having participated in a combat with one, especially given that I felt I'd rather be on the creature's side anyway.
• Watching the creature transformation process I remember feeling a bit envious. In the context of waking life, I know that transformations of even the smallest degree are impossible, but a part of my subconscious still desires them, which attracts me to creative content that represents those themes. The transformation theme in general is a clear dream-sign, but one that I must remember to set an intention to make notice of, due to its prominence in games, and therefore the fact that it's so well embedded into a part of my reactions and behaviours towards it.
• It is a little rare that transformation themes are so present in at least a couple of dream sequences. They were clear dream-signs and I should have done a RC.
• The researchers at the complex wore no special clothes or outfits, they were dressed casually or with suits, so a potential dream-sign did not manifest there.
• The "exoskeleton" wasn't so much an exoskeleton as it was making me "buff", I seem to remember.
• Being at the rooftop especially should have made me RC due to a fear of heights, especially taking note that being a stereotypical rooftop, it was sloped.

Morning of January 25, 2018. Thursday.



I am sitting up in a bed in an open field of waist-high grass. In the distance, the field seems to have a cliff that probably overlooks a ravine. There are beautiful mountains beyond. Two white storks walk by, about ten feet away, to my right.

I am thinking of happily running through the field and flying over the ravine (as I have done in dreams since childhood), but my combination of lucidity and dream state indicator (the bed), slowly pulls me back into consciousness. RAS mediation is passive, as I have known and mostly grown used to vestibular system symbolism since early childhood - other than my walking in the city and tripping on something dreams that have occurred every sleep since childhood (and I was already actively linked to the dream state indicator, so no falling sensation either).

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Although the birds are a common form of autosymbolism for both vestibular system ambiguity and being unconscious, they are walking here, technically a form of return flight waking symbolism that has occurred in many past dreams (and they seem to be the very common paired preconscious and emergent consciousness factors here, though they might additionally be associated with Zsuzsanna and I in dream sleep - though I had dreams like this before I met Zsuzsanna). Additionally, the field is a type of autosymbolism for liminal space, though less common for me then porches, parking lots, or store checkouts, all of which signify a specific level of unconsciousness and circadian rhythms factors (which I validated as such as far back as age eight, even before I had studied hundreds of similar dreams over the years).

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Just a fragment and some short dreams but really trying to work on dream recall!

-in the mountains, beautiful mountains

-I was at a Taylor Swift concert, I got front row. TW was singing and, at one point, held onto my shoulder and sang to me. I was sooo happy and was thinking, "if only I could have gotten a picture with her, but oh well, just this memory is enough!" and then she went back on the stage and started singing a song by another artist.

-there was a group of kids and a male swimming instructor. All the kids were black girls and had matching hair and bathing suits. The swim instructor told them to do front flips into the water, and one by one they did, except for one kid who wanted to show off. She got a running start and jumped so far she ended up reaching the ledge on the other side of the pool and crashing into it.

Happy New Year!! I got a great start to mine - a nice solid lucid!
For the past week I have been working hard to try to lucid dream and remember my dreams. It's starting to pay off! though my dream recall still SUCKS.

early dreams:

I was in the mountains. It was so incredibly beautiful and I wanted to move there but things kept holding me back and I was so sad about it. I wanted to stay in those snow covered towering high mountains forever.

I was in caves. I was lucid and and excited. It seemed to last awhile and I let the dream take me wherever, part of which I remember crawling through caves. Eventually though, I lost the lucidity and the caves became scary.

My boyfriend woke me and said goodbye and went off to work. I knew I had to try to fall asleep so I could get a lucid in!

I was in my old house with my parents, sister, and grandpa. It was painted all white and empty except furniture. Everyone was sad and stressed for some reason. My sister was eating something like trail mix, she started choking and I said, "are you ok??" and she says, "no" but I realize she is fake choking. My dad says something like, "she just wanted you to practice your emotions." WTF. I was angry. I stormed off to my old room and there I find my mom, smoking a cigarrette, and my grandpa on the floor with his eyes closed, he looked dead but wasn't. I say, "hey, I need a cigarette!(neither of us smoke IRL) and take it from her and take a huff. Then my sis comes in and joins.

I am in my bed, which is kind of like a bunk bed, and start going to sleep. This is a dream itself though, and my mom is walking around. I try to block her out, close my eyes. I get warped into a new dream, I am standing in the living room. It's night time and I'm staring at the giant window that's decorated in xmas decorations and a bunch of lights. I focus on one to stabilize the dream, and it works. I don't know what to do, but I don't want to stay inside so I go out into the night. I notice a few things, like the tree in the front yard by the driveway, a giant blow up snow globe santa thing, and on the street two cars are parked. Standing by the cars are two girls, around my age. I walk up and see they are digging through stuff in their cars. I stand in front of one of the girls. She has blond straight hair, with smokey makeup and long earrings. We start dancing and a song blares in the background, it sounds to be a young but seasoned singer and I try to remember the lyrics. "Desire is a compassion burned fire" We dance and it's amazing and then we KISS and it's fire. I decide to wake up after this because I thought my mom had been waiting for me to wake up, even though that part was just a dream. I wake up in my real bed.

Morning of November 23, 2017. Thursday.



I am living with my wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we are now at our present address. However, many threads of my conscious self identity become reduced over time until the waking transition. I leave our house, apparently to get something from a store, but end up walking south which soon ambiguously becomes north as my association is mixed with Wisconsin (where I have not lived since February 1994). It seems to be nighttime.

Over time, I am not sure where I am going but I continue to walk along the side of the road. I notice snow on the side of the road. My dream self does not consider how this area looks nothing like the area we live in real life. The fact that I do not know at all what is ahead does not bother me.

I remain as far from the middle of the road as possible as a few cars pass now and then. I consider that I am walking in an area where pedestrians are not allowed, though there is no sign indicating such. Soon, the snow banks on each side of the road are higher.

Eventually, I see an older couple in a station wagon. They are going in the opposite direction I am, down the side of the mountain, which is not that steep in this section. The unknown older lady asks me if the roads are clear for cars in the direction I had been walking from. I tell her that the roads are okay to drive through, as I had walked a considerable distance.

Following a curve in the road, which is now seemingly one lane and easterly, I eventually end up walking through a square tunnel. A thin layer of ice covers the walls. One car goes by me during this time, going in the opposite direction. By following the road, I somehow end up inside a business building. I stealthily walk through, noticing three people talking in one office. I view this through an indoor window. There are other offices on each side of a hallway. I am puzzled as to how to get back to the road, as I had just been on it prior to illogically finding myself here.

I enter a large room which seems like a public restaurant with round wooden tables sparsely arranged. An unknown male approaches me with a large flat piece of cardboard shaped like a person, painted over to represent a chubby male in informal clothes, and with eye holes to look through the face. The face is not that realistic and has a mustache. The piece has red vinyl straps connected (possibly by tacks) around the two-dimensional upper arms to hold it over my shoulders and upper arms, though my arms can still move freely. I am to wear it over the front of my body, though its legs are too long by at least a foot and bend out in front of me when I wear it, horizontally dragging and remaining against the floor. The other male is puzzled, though I do not tell him that I am not involved in whatever is going on. Instead, I say, “I am the stand-in”, and he seems to understand.

I am to dance with another male who is not in such an odd cardboard cutout “costume”. He is unknown and sitting at a table with a few other people, mostly female. He is wearing a cowboy outfit with a fancy hat. Curiously, he also has some sort of red straps attached to his shoulders for no discernible reason.

I start dancing on my own and my moves and balance feel perfect. The other people are seemingly amazed by how well I am moving (especially considering the odd cardboard “costume” covering the front of my body). I dance and feel a sense of well-being for several minutes. It seems I will be filmed as part of test footage until the real actors or performers show up. However, I eventually do not feel like being a part of this scenario anymore, mainly due to not being confident about either waltz moves (where I visualize hands shoulder to shoulder and the other arms out horizontally with hands clasped, towards the direction of movement) or dancing with a male (who reminds me vaguely of Burt Reynolds at about sixty), and deliberately leave the dream state with very clear intent even though I had not been lucid at any point, yet with the knowledge I had deliberately created much of my dream from the beginning. This has happened often throughout my life. It is a type of non-lucid dream control.

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Factors like non-lucid dream control (creating or influencing the dream without realizing it is a dream, typically not even remembering what a dream is) and literal prescience (with too much detail to be coincidence, including finding and marrying my beautiful literal dream girl) cannot be explained at all by what the majority seem to believe and experience. What part of the mind or extent of threads of conscious self identity and ephemeral synthesized fictional dream self viewpoints or combinations thereof account for this? How does one wake themselves so easily and intentionally from a dream without actively knowing it is a dream up to that very point? (This is not the same as knowing it is a dream and deliberately waking.) These concepts of course, are only part of the great puzzle of my life.

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