non-lucid

Date: 25 Aug

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Cannot quite recall the exact beginning but remember willing the scene to appear as I was falling alseep. There were a number of coming into shape items and I told myself that my subcon is at this point trying to make something out of them so concentrate. There were a number of scenes.

I don't recall what happened when I finally entered the dream but there was some active dream scenario going on.

After looking around expectedly and not seeing a pyramid to enter, I notice people getting on a bus and wonder whether to give it a try. It doesn't strike me as possible to manipulate the dream as much as to be inside the bus while actually going somewhere and really get there but I give it a try. It's getting rather full, but I find a free seat and sit there. To be certain this tour bus is going in the right direction, I shout and make them all repeat "We are going to the Pyramid of Giza". Here I have thoughts about whether my throat is moving (DV thread) as I feel physical pressure while shouting.

Don't recall getting off the bus and in the next scene I'm already inside this place with an atmosphere of an excavation dig. It looks as if I've made it past the pyramid's entrance and am now in how I in the dream more or less imagine its interior. It has the feel and look of a number of previous dreams about sightseeing in Egypt. Excited, I decide to explore the ancient Egyptian structure. There are two directions to go and after some maneuvering I orient myself towards what feels like the center.

It is now quite lively, full of crowds of people getting in and coming out. While this should be the interior of the pyramid and be very spacey in my dreaming mind, it still feels to me as if I'm taking forever to walk towards the official "lobby". It's like a tourist attraction where you first have to go to the lobby/cashier and then enter a separate part with the things to see. On my way to the center, I pass by a girl with a pink feather on her head and my hand by mistake gets into her hair. As a result the feather falls from her head and then I take it. How weird, I think to myself, what my hand did. The feather is beautiful and as realistic as it gets, I'm very fascinated by the looks of it and the feel of the dream in general.

As I continue on my way, the little girl catches up with me and starts whining about her feather. I tell her that I didn't mean to take it on purpose rather it just happened as an accident and give it back. She calms down continues towards the exit, while I continue my walk toward the center in this carpet covered corridor. I finally reach the center and what lies beyond. There is a large number of exhibition items on each side of the walls. At this point they are all Egyptian, way too many to be able to recall, but I remember a statue of Anubis in dark stone with decorations in green and gold, maybe a round necklace with green stone. I start thinking about how this place now almost completely resembles a museum and continue my walk, looking at the fancy items.

The dream ends at some point. I stay still but it does take a bit longer.

DEILD: As I fall asleep, I unconsciously grab onto the scene and make it so that the same place comes back. The ancient stuff is still around. There were also large columns at some point but I vaguely recall these. Just found it a bit weird to be back, as I wasn't too focused consciously on that. I continue my tour in this pyramid museum, going from room to room and looking at lots of exhibition items. This time they are more from classic and medieval ages and I see a room full of different sizes and styles of angel statues. They all look really cute and I wonder why do they have so many angel statues here.

I continue down the corridors looking at items but soon hear angry shouts as if some sort of riot is taking place. I think about inception. They surely won't catch up with me, but despite my weak efforts to ignore them, the trouble makers are coming closer. Now I have a typical dream problem, I really want to leave this place but am trapped in an endless labyrinth of corridors and doors. There is a really weird looking one having a blurred net in front but I as I approach the net kind of disappears. I remind myself to think about outside, windows and things like that. I go through the door and finally in a room with a glass door leading to the outside. It looks locked but I open it just like that.

A DC comes and starts talking about something, kind of trying to hijack the dream with their own scenario while I find myself staring at a pot full of poached eggs. For a moment I become distracted but then come to my senses again. There is a cool looking tower nearby and I head in its direction.

Worried that it's time to wake up, I end up having an FA where I press the snooze button and wild in dream. A brief ld moment in a grandma's place before I wake up for real.

September 15, 2014

---

I was picking up Kels from some sort of practice at my old high school. It was night time, and I was supposed to have my car, but instead, I had biked there. I was looking around for her, and couldn't find her, and then there was something running around my feet. I couldn't tell what the heck it was, and so I said, "WTF IS THAT!?"

"I dunno, Dog? Raccoon?" Said someone nearby.

"IS IT RABID?!"

"Yeah, probably."

I got super scared and tried to kick the thing away from me, but it kept running around my feet.

Finally, Kels was done and came up to me. "Where the hell were you?!" I asked.
She said she'd had to go inside and put on some under-armor because it was cold.
Or something.

Date: 22 Aug

Behind with journalling as usual. These are for CL's dare about the Great Pyramid.

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Back to the old place dream. It seems even though I left the place, I have the dream memory that I come back and stay here every time for a while [yes, every couple of dreams!]. I feel guilty about not informing the landlord and think about packing my stuff.

At some point when lying in that room's bed, I get in touch with both realities (i.e. start to feel my physical body) maybe just waking up as everything looks very blurry now. Semi consciously, I exert efforts to bring back the dream. The room forms again, everything is perfect even the table although it is not quite an exact match.

I open the window, it's very dark and I look in direction of the neighbors to see a young woman holding or throwing some object. I look at the mostly cloudless sky and then remember an on-going goal [enjoy the night sky], expecting to see cool constellations but the stars look rather normal even too dim. I feel the urge to fly up and so go ahead and lift off.

This flying style is more like that of a bird (hands spread like wings), at any rate it feels like a bird sliding on currents of air. An unpleasant feel as I quickly fly down - it's a physical sensation rather than a mental one. I wonder about it and try to control it, fly gliding down a bit. At some point I land on the top of a nearby building. There is a DC below trying to interact with me. I remember the pyramid task but there is snow all around it doesn't quite feel right. Nevertheless, I try to summon a pyramid by spontaneously getting my hands to form a triangle and I impose it on the background, staring inside to see the pyramid. This results in a good but distant version of the pyramid where I feel like it will take too much time to reach so try again.

The outcome is a smaller pyramid, made of much lighter white greyish stone and something that looks like an entrance. As I come closer I disappointedly ascertain that this pyramid is way too small and the entrance is more like a diagonally shaped part of the design. I wonder whether this would count but dismiss the idea.

Somehow, possibly after turning around and looking for a place to do another summon, I end up inside a store. I continue with my summons here (facing the windows) and make a triangle with my hands, looking inside with squinting eyes causing blurred vision which helps manipulate the color and material of the pyramid. Alas, all resulting pyramids are a shifty mirrage and their place is taken by something like a large mosque from a nicely matching material. I leave the store to explore and see if anything can be made with the structure but the alarm wakes me up.


Date: 24 Aug

I'm in some sort cafe with couple of Asians and Emm. We are about to drink tea but I have to leave without paying as everybody evacuates due to disease alarm. On my way out I contemplate that in this dream Emm didn't quite play a positive role.

After getting out, I end up in this yard and look ahead. At this point am already lucid after the contemplations about classmate Emm. The grass and eveything else has a red tint and it looks very interesting. I remember that this was a task [add photoshop effect] but think that since it's already done it may not count. Once again I have an urge to take off and just fly ahead. I do so and end up flying between trees and bushes and towards a darker area of the woods. It doesn't look very inviting and also there is the reduction of visual stimuli that adds to the feel. Before I can do anything else the dream falls apart.

PS: Stay tuned for the next part!

i didnt feel like naming this one casue im a lil embarassed to put reccuring gay dream number 2. yes in this dream i was masterbating my best friend. it was really kinda like felt good in the dream. i dont know what this means.

I am standing in a tree-house. A boy with short, light brown hair stands across from me. He is looking up towards the heavens. I glance at him, then I look up. I look at him again: he is peaceful. His heart is radiating love, complete, unconditional love. He is thinking silently. We are both on DMT. An older, yet remarkably young, man walks in. He stands next to the boy - he is, perhaps, the boy's father or uncle. He is there to protect us. The tree house starts spinning, and there is a Kennywood sign in the distance. None of us are scared. It just is, and we are joyous. It spins and spins and spins.
Then I wake up, and the boy is gone. His father is gone. I want to meet them. God, were they real? I ask. I don't get a clear answer. I get an answer, I'm just not sure whether or not that answer came from God or my subconsciousness. He's Aaron Dottle's roommate in heaven. The father? Or uncle? I don't know.
I am laying down, my head is on my pillow. I try to savor the memory of the dream. Put it into my memory, remember what he looked like. I don't know his name. I stop thinking about Aaron's roommate - who I will meet someday - and shut my eyelids.
I am sitting in a room with a fireplace. There are tables with chairs. Couches. We are sitting discussing the Bible. It's one of those Upper Room dreams, the ones that make me want to go back to Pittsburgh and have fellowship with the Upper Room. I love them dearly...Jenna, Mike, Deirdre. We are all sitting together talking. There is complete honesty. None of us are judging. We are thinking about God, and Mike, the pastor, is teaching. We listen calmly, joyously. I ask them, "Have you seen Damon?" He is my soul-mate that I lost sight of, lost my chances with, but I know that, even though he pretends to hate me, he loves me as deeply as I love him. I gave away his secret. I can't tell you what it is. I hear, "He always asks, 'Have you seen Cali?'" and that makes me happy. Then I look down at my Bible. I read the words on the page. Do not be decieved: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galations 6:7-10 I look up from my green leather Bible. We discuss. I think, 'I'll never give up on Damon.' Then I see Damon outside of the window. He is looking in and the window is open. I stand up and jump out the window and Damon starts running. I am running after him, hearing And I'll be by your side, wherever you fall in the dead of night, whenever you call and please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you. Suddenly the running is all there is: me and Damon, in heaven, running and running. We don't stop. Our feet silently touch the fresh green grass.
I open my eyes slowly. I'm back in my bed, and Damon is nowhere to be found. I remember hearing Tenth Avenue North. I want to be by Damon's side, I think. And I know that God is by Damon's side. I think, I hope Damon becomes Christian before he dies. I don't want him to go to Hell. I know he will get out and I will see him. I'll wait by his bed. I'll watch him sleep. And when he opens his eyelids, he'll finally stop dreaming. I'll stay awake. We'll stay up all night talking, as if we were communicating telepathically.
We were. I know it, because he stabbed me, and I woke up. He read my mind. He told me, 'If you're right, I'm happy.' And I know that someday, he will love God as much as I do. (He didn't stab me, but for a while I thought he did because I felt a sharp pain in my heart)
_____________________________
I was in a library with many floors. I was exploring the books. Then suddenly I was in a painting class. I was holding a paintbrush. I dipped it into skin color paint, and touched the brush to the blank page in front of me.
There have been many dreams of heaven swimming pools. In one of them, it was small and divided between lanes, and I had a vest on. Something felt wrong, and I asked, Where’s Jesus, because in the dream I thought I was in heaven but everything was so wrong. Then the dream changed. Someone found me and held my hand and walked with me to a different area. One that was peaceful and beautiful. And then the person lead me to the pool in a building. It was huge and the water was clear and there were lap lanes but not only lap lanes. There was a lifeguard and she was climbing up the chair where lifeguards sat. It made me realize that I wouldn’t drown; no one in heaven would ever let me drown. Then I awoke happy, happy that I changed my dream by asking for Jesus. It was sort of lucid dreaming.
_______________________

I let the nightmares go. I just let myself forget them. I am not that person that was dreaming. Night changes many thoughts, and it wasn’t real. So I can’t tell you what it was that made me think differently about God, but right now I love God, so that’s all that matters.

______________________


I joined a gym. They have free exercise classes. Am I awake? Am I dreaming? I don’t think so. From now on I plan to question my consciousness…ask myself if I’m awake. Then someday I’ll ask myself, am I awake? While I am sleeping. Maybe I’ll have more lucid dream.
Come back to reality, wake from your lucid dream. Sometimes I am just a dreamer. I go through life in a dreamlike way, but now I am awake. I am awake because I hear music and I’m not in the tunnel machine that I often go through while I’m sleeping and dreaming. There isn’t that nightmarish cliff that I saw when I was dreaming about wanting to buy donuts in Pittsburgh. There was a cliff and a railing and a road below the cliff, and I was scared out of my mind.
I dreamt I was loving Sara Leticia, but I don’t remember the dream, but the essence was that she had room for me in her life, and that she was letting me into her life with Stefan. Before that I had a dream that I was doing back handsprings, and it was so easy and simple. One day, like in my many gymnastics dreams, I will do backhandsprings and back tucks and they will be simple and easy. After thousands of years of training, I will do gymnastics like the girl I wish I was, the girl I wish I grew up as.
Because I didn’t become that girl (yet), I became the girl that loves violin and writing. Sometimes I feel absolutely joyous listening to myself playing violin. Sometimes I feel bored playing violin, not loving the sound I’m making, so I put my violin away, and I go someplace quiet to sit and think. Later I pick up the violin again and try to make it sing.
I had a dream where I was in heaven and running. There was a staircase that went down millions of feet and then a lovely green hill. Wherever I was I just kept running. Then I found some people and we were looking at rocks and gently putting them in the water. I found a red and black rock that looked like a beating heart. Someone said, "Look for a Jesus colored rock." I said, the rock I found is red and that's the color of the blood He shed to save us. Earlier in the dream I was sharing clothing that a boy was wearing, we swapped clothing. When I woke up it was like there was a rock laying on top of my chest, I couldn't move and it was scary. The lesson I learned: just keep running, just keep holding on, because there will be God's light somewhere in the distance, and you will find it, you will dream it, you will hold onto God's love. Just keep running through the rocky terrain and you will find a beautiful garden.

Morning of September 16, 2014. Tuesday.



This is a rather bizarre and ridiculous dream; more amusing in afterthought.

Two (unknown) people, a male and a female, are on a large stage in front of a very large audience. The setting is possibly loosely modeled after my old high school auditorium but probably could be anywhere. They are there to demonstrate a special type of vacuum cleaner which also refurbishes any environment to eventual perfection. Also on the stage is some sort of living room setting but with various types of curtains in different areas.

Apparently the male is the one promoting the device and the female is there as possibly part of an audience participation event. The machine is turned on and, over time, the curtains, couch on stage, and carpeted floor - even the clothes the people on stage are wearing - become more and more beautiful, solely due to the removal of tiny particulates - dust motes and such. More and more, the audiences gasps in amazement as the setting becomes cleaner and cleaner and more perfect and more pleasant in appearance. In my dream, I even notice a continuously increasing enhancement of my own cheerful mood.

Eventually, however, the vacuum-cleaner-like machine seems to increase in power, going at too high of a speed. There is a rather amusing scene where the female is holding onto the machine and flying through the air (being pulled by the machine, which is creating some sort of storm-like atmosphere on the stage, with a lot of wind and roaring) with the male holding onto her ankles and being dragged across the stage on his feet. Small pieces of stuffing from the couch are roaring around the stage everywhere (like a sandstorm) and there is thunder. I get the impression that it may start raining. (Aside from having heard the vacuum cleaner just recently - this is also quite possibly influenced by coincidentally having very recently seen two scenes with sandstorms with heavy, damaging particulates that shared the same scenario - those being in “Prometheus” from 2012 and in an episode of “Outcasts” from 2011).

The audience is now gasping for a different reason, watching the onstage “storm”, yet I still get the impression that everything will turn out if they get the machine under control again. What is going on presently may be related somewhat to the concept of sandblasting but at a very augmented level.

---

- I was watching a League of Legends match, but instead of the usual map, it was a piece of a world map showing land a lot of ocean. Weird.
- We were going on a field trip with my college classmates. The research site was really damp and a storm was on the way so we took refuge in town. After doing some shopping and get something to eat we found an abandoned house with a sealed door. We use the rails nearby to send a train flying through the door (yeah).
Inside it looks like a normal house but we know it's the hideout of a dangerous band of criminals. After some action we manage to escape.
- I'm riding my bike on my way home. It is nightime, apparently past midnight. I take a turn into a deserted street and i'm able to look at the sky. There were 4 moons! I realised that was strange (yay for awareness practice!) but i got distracted by the dream and continued my way. After a while it starts to get clear, and a bunch of drunk people are following the same path as me. I arrive at a station, i meet a lot of people i don't see anymore, and i even fight a (really dumb) thief.

These dreams were really vivid and long, so i'm happy my recall got better and this was the second time i remember noticing something strange while non-lucid. Lucid dreaming i'm almost there!

Dream - Lucid

This dream is an absolute jumbled mess, but I'll try to order it the best that I can.

I was sitting on the couch in our living room. I had taken my medicine already and was struggling to keep my eyes open. I was messing with something on my phone, and apparently, I fell asleep while doing so. I then was dreaming (within the dream) about what looked like a SimCity view of, well, a city. It was a place I wanted us to move to, and moving was as simple as clicking a button. I remember placing buildings or something.

I then woke up in the first dream. I had fallen asleep on the couch. I heard my husband's voice from the other room calling me.
"You spend too much time on the internet," he said.
I mean, he's absolutely right, but I wonder what would prompt him to say that? I then asked
"Did I post a status in my sleep?"
"Yes," he said.
I had been fearing that I had done that. I "remembered" posting a status in my dream about the move. I then looked at my phone on what was supposed to be Facebook, but it didn't really resemble it at all. I had posted a status That said something like this:

Hey! We decided to move to Nokia, Oregon! ________________________________
__________________________________________________ __________________
__________________________________________________ __________________

The lines are text that I can't recall at all.

Holy crap! I posted a status in my sleep. I had a lot of comments on it that appeared like old message board responses (hard to explain what I mean...I guess kind of like how Reddit is set up). All the text was colored and the background was a dark color. I want to say the text was bright orange. I knew that didn't look right for Facebook even in the dream. I thought maybe the site just wasn't loading properly on my phone. I decided to get on the computer, which was located in the opposite corner of the room than it is IWL. I kept trying to get on Facebook, but I kept getting distracted and not doing it. I think I talked to Dallas a little, which was one of the distractions. I did eventually get on there, but it looked the same as it had on my phone. I also noticed that I had initially been posting a status saying

I just found Snake on my phone! (link with the name of the game here; it was a Snake-like game that started with a T)

but I had fallen asleep while doing so. There was also a string of one word statuses, some that were just text, one I remember saying "Sceeea" or something like that. At the end of the string was the long status about moving to Nokia, Oregon. I was so embarrassed, but I guess everyone else on Facebook found it funny judging by some of the comments (can't recall exactly what the comments said).

Then, my daughter was there in the living room, standing by the door (I don't have any kids IWL). She was tall, skinny, and had very tan skin and medium length black hair. She had some acne on her face and had black, bushy eyebrows. She looked to be about 11 or 12 years old. I knew she was my daughter and that she'd been living with us, but I couldn't remember anything about her. I had been a terrible parent. I wasn't even sure who her biological father was. Judging by her tan skin, dark hair, and acne, it was either A or E.

I decided it was time to start making an effort to know my daughter, and to really parent her and be there for her. She was about to go to school, but she was then over by a chair where the computer desk is IWL. She had her backpack, and took out a 12-count of cream cheese-iced cupcakes, ones that we sell at the bakery. Many of them had toppled over. I also noticed that there were two jumbo cupcakes from the bakery that were on the floor, toppled over. It must be her birthday, and she was going to bring cupcakes to school. I asked her
"Do you want me to get you some more?"
I don't remember if she answered me or not, but I was going to do it anyway. I had had no idea that her birthday was that day, but now I knew. I also had no idea what school she went to, and was afraid to ask. She pulled out a small, light muted green purse, and it had something written on it. I was hoping that it was the name of her school so I wouldn't have to ask, but it was just the brand of the purse, "Paulina". Well shit.

She was then standing next to me, and I noticed that she was actually a bit taller than me (not hard to do).

She was then gone, and I was "remembering" her as a baby, and how I wasn't active with her even then. I also "remembered" that my body made an awesome comeback from the pregnancy; I hadn't even looked like I had been pregnant. I then "remembered" miscarrying another pregnancy late in the pregnancy. I was laying in a hospital bed thinking I was in labor. I had a belly and everything. They had me doped up on pain medication, and told me that I lost the baby. I was so numb from the meds though, I didn't feel any emotion when they told me. I was trying to remember any pains I had had before the medicine, but I couldn't. I also remembered telling people, my husband included, that I didn't have any children, but I had just not remembered my daughter. I hadn't been trying to lie, I had just forgotten.

~

I have had many dreams about having a daughter whom I had forgotten about, the earliest one I remember being in 2011 or so. They are in this DJ, but I don't really want to search for them right now. I even had a meditation a month or so ago where I heard this voice say
"I'm afraid my child will come home."
I don't quite no what to make of it yet. I'm starting to get some ideas though.

Also, I know I had a dream before this one, but I can't recall it anymore. I could in the middle of the night, but then I had this dream.

How to express this lands me in a curious peculiarity that I've never come across before and wonder if I ever shall again. Nevertheless, This may cost you everything but save you your life if you know what I'm talking about.

In illusion everything goes to waste. There's no point to it and it's a disease before it is born and it certainly is a disease long after it dies. If you're wondering what this has to do with anything, I had to give a certain introit.

SO! The dream. Yes, Here:

I dreamed someone made a fan-fiction of MLP:FIM and shortly prior to that, I was going through teleportation holes. At one point someone took Opie (from The Andy Griffith Show) through the transportation hole and then the hole vanished, then was put back an instant later. Yet, the guy on the other end of the hole said he was trying to get in contact with me, Whoever I was, for 12 hours! Then I went through this hole through time and space.

LATER, The fan-fiction started. So I looked around and bombs were about to fall! I saw a building which was a refrigerator that I climbed into, Noting that whoever packed the food didn't have that in an underground shelter. I wondered "Where will I go?" and later saw a list of numbers going into the millions of what it would cost to get out of this hell-hole; Everything. Relationships are included in that!

I enjoy the uncertain-to-the-blind yet certain-to-the-initiated way of actual life. I'm sorry.

Black is Non Lucid.
Blue is Lucid.

Lucidity: 3/5
Vividness: 4/5
Length: Short

I was in a mansion, trying to eat a gigantic pumpkin that I found. It started to develop spikes all over it, like the inside of an artichoke. I saw a bug on it, but it didn't bother me too much. Then a spider that was black and spotted white, was jumping randomly, like it was drunk. I left because the spider was scaring me.

After leaving, I gained lucidity. I flew to the upstairs, glad that I finally fell asleep after trying to for about three hours. When I reached the top, I was in this menu where I was choosing what I looked like. There was no option to get out of the menu, so I kept looking up, down, and around, willing a window to appear so I could get out. One did, eventually, and I flew through it. I was back where I was before I was sucked into the menu, the upstairs of the mansion. I came to a room that had the spider in it, somehow, but there was no spider. Instead, two frogs were trying to murder each other. I had two options, according to a dream character: Let the frogs kill each other, or kill them using a bird. I chose the second one, and a bird came down and scooped up one of the frogs. It came back after a second and was disappointed that the other frog wasn't there. I killed the other one, then got angry when I thought of how I tried so hard to fall asleep tonight, and punched the frog in the back of the head, it being as large a human being now. I then was in a restroom, looking at my reflection. I was very skinny and had scars on my back. My face looked the same as it usually does, though.

After losing lucidity, I was in a DOTA game where I was Crystal Maiden with Tidehunter's E, dodging everything and hitting all of the other team with it. This took place in a field that was not textured at all.

Dream 1

I'm at my primary school, standing on the oval. I see a young horse running towards me. As it gets to me, I jump on it while its still running. It's a strange feeling, I feel I have a strong connection with the horse. The horse takes me down the road towards the traffic lights near la porchetta pizza restaurant. There's traffic and the horse takes us towards the cars. I can see trucks. I try to stop it but its fighting against me. The horse eventually stops and we get to the other side without a scratch. It was night time and some cars didn't have their lights turned on.

I'm now at Daryl's and I see a dog bowl. Kayley tells me that Trish phoned in and asked if I was feeding and looking after my dog. I tell Kayley that I've been taking the dog for walks.

Dream 2

I'm at my house and I see Kayley talking to a black women who is meant to be her mother. The Mum has quite a few teeth missing. Kayley is jokingly mocking her Mum about something. This scene replays a few times. As Kayley leaves, she calls her an ugly cunt or something like that, really putting her down.

I can now see spices that are placed in a spice rack. I pick one up and have a look at it. Kayley's Mum must have just got back from being out with her boyfriend. She tells us she got spoilt. She bought back a bottle of vodka. The bottle is a lot wider then a normal bottle with a plastic lid. I take a closer look at the herbs and there's a picture of Kayley's Mum on the front of it. She looks decent looking. The back of it has a picture of her playing basketball. I ask Kayley if she used to play basketball, she say's yes.

Dream 3

I'm at a party and I see a few people trying to putt a ball into a hole. If the person got it in the hole, they win a car. I was going to have a crack at it, but someone took my shot instead. Germain has a putt and it comes pretty close to the hole. Someone takes over Germain's shot and must have put too much power on their shot, cause the ball was now 10 meters away from the hole. There's a bit of decline in the surface if u were to miss the hole.

I'm now playing a video game on the computer. Its a similar game to Mario Brothers. Jason Deen asks me if I remember playing this game together when we were younger. At first I didn't recall, but it clicked with me as I was playing that I did.

Someone that I'm with decides to play a bit of a joke on a guy sitting at his computer. He somehow makes the victims computer screw up. Maybe even blowing it up, through a virus or magic. The victim becomes furious.

Dream Fragment

1. Blaxland House

2. I see Dad walk into garage through the house. He asks Daryl if he took any of his cigarettes. Daryl confesses that he did. He has taken a handful. I can see a homemade cigarette pack on the freezer, which Daryl is talking about.

Yesterday:

I was in a house or mall. I was taking the parkour workshop. We were supposed to do a flow from one area to another. The catch is that we're blindfolded or we have our eyes closed. I was able to do rolls. cat hangs, etc.

10:39 p.m.

I was in a parkour training session. We were traveling from place to place. One place is a mall of sort. One guy was to be the "rabbit" and we were to chase him. I had a skateboard or a mall cart with someone on it. I was supposed to move him as well while chasing the guy. We gave the guy a few minutes then we chased. I think we were supposed to make him wear the shirt or take it off.

It didn't take long and I was disappointed. I started doing solo. I jumped from ledge to ledge, on the wide stairs, and I did some amazing flow. I went up high on the floors and watched some of the traceurs below. I thought of wearing a disguise, if I was the "rabbit", and walk inconspicuously among them if ever.

We were going down, sliding and vaulting, the stairs on the way to the train station. I saw my crush down below.

It was EDSA and it's usually really tight. I was talking/thinking about how to avoid it by taking certain routes on the sides.

I was seeing the routes at night, quarter-top view. The roads and the lights are visible, but it's mostly dark.

I was in a motel. I think it was a prize of sorts. Or I was just staying overnight somewhere.

I was looking down at a map. Trying to figure out where QC is or certain places. There was supposed to be a Tibetan meditation event the next day. Somehow, one of the members needed/wanted to join and was hoping the rest would join as well.

I was looking at a map of a mountain separating two areas. There's QC. What's the other side? Not clear.

----

NOTES:

- I went to sleep around 8:20 p.m., hoping to get some shut eye as I was getting really tired. I woke up around 1.5 hours later. I first checked my phone and saw 10:xx p.m. and was surprised. Then I thought it was just the phone. Maybe the time and date reset when it was off. But I though it must be earlier than 5 or 6 a.m. since the alarm hasn't sounded.
- I opened my computer and saw the time was accurate.
- Twilight Zone
- No parkour training last Sunday due to rain
- Been trying to jump a bit around in the unit.
- Weird how I kept missing my dream signs (train, mall, crush)

I think the dream lasted only 8 minutes.I think this because I went to sleep around 10:12pm and woke up at 11:08pm. It was scary though. At first I was helping my mom with something than tried putting my parakeets in their cage. When suddenly I appeared on a bed and a boy I don't know was talking to me. I thought he was a new dream guide I made but than started thinking negative thoughts. I thought what if I summon something evil into my dream by mistake. I tossed out that idea than asked it why it was interested in being in the dream with me. It said I was still pretty hot even though I was small. I tried to hug it after that but it dodged me, started laughing and told me not to get excited. I grabbed it though and suddenly I felt like my whole being was being sucked into a vortex from the character. Like it was going in me and draining me. I reappeared on the same bed with the blanket on my head and felt awful. Like I was heavy and couldn't breathe right. I thought it was real life so I was really scared. The Dc came back into the dream after that and tried putting the blanket back on me but I took it off. I forced myself to wake up after that. My body began to shake without me making it do that and my heart beat was kind of fast cause I was scared. After like 20 minutes it stopped though so I'm happy.

A woman comes to my desk to inform me that the manager would like to see me.
I get up immediately and begin the long walk to the manager's office.
I pass by thousands of cubicles, all looking perfectly identical to one another.
The room is huge. But it's all just cubicles, sitting on a bright white and spotless white floor,
which slightly reflects what is above it.

Everyone I pass is wearing the exact same grey suit with white shirt combo.
Everyone is in shape, everyone has the same hairstyle, the same hair color, even the same eye color.
No color can be found in here. None whatsoever. Regardless of where you look, it's all white or grey.
There are no distractions. No family photos, no items on any desk besides a monitor, mouse and keyboard.
Everyone is working at maximum efficiency.

Eventually I get to the managers office. A man is leaving the office right as I arrive.
This confirms that I have been walking at precisely the right pace.
I enter the office.

"There has been a problem with your daily psych eval this morning."
"You are to be at the primary psych facilities in 12 minutes for a more in-depth test."
"Yes."

During the exchange, the manager has not even glanced at me once.
I leave the office, and begin the even longer walk to the psychiatric facilities.
As I'm walking past all the cubicles again, I notice a woman, who on closer inspection appears
to be adjusting one of her contact lenses.
As she gently pokes the grey lens, it moves just enough to reveal that she is hiding beautiful green eyes behind them.

And this is why my psych test isn't clean. It's because I notice these things.
It's because I can still occasionally feel emotions.
You're not supposed to. That's how the system works.
It's easy to achieve complete obedience and efficiency without emotions.

I arrive at the office for advanced psychiatric evaluation.
There is only one such office for the entire facility.
Tens of thousands of people, yet I'm the only one here.
I'm the only one who failed the daily eval.
I enter the office. It is very small.
It just houses a simple chair and a robot. (who looks suspiciously similar to glados)


The robot begins to scan me. I try to keep my mind clear of any thoughts.
But I know that this isn't going to help. I'm going to fail this eval. It is inevitable.
In order to disable all emotions completely, the cocktail of drugs we receive daily isn't enough.
Abstinence from all stimuli is also required.
Which is why there are no colors, no music, no socializing, no hobbies...

But the system isn't perfect... because I have seen colors. I have heard music.
I have done so in my dreams. My lucid dreams.
And although it is said that nobody has dreams anymore due to the drugs, I still do.
I think it is because I am a lucid dreamer. Nothing can take my dreams from me.

"Your evaluation is now complete. Return to work."
"Yes."

I leave the room, initially thinking that I might have tricked to robot.
No. It can't be. Someone is probably going to intercept me on the way back.
This is it then. I suppose it is over for me.
I don't really feel any emotional reaction to these thoughts at all.
Perhaps it is the drugs, or maybe I just don't care to live this life any longer.
A woman stops me.

"Excuse me?"
"Yes?"
"Why are you here?"

I got lost in thoughts...
Oh shit. I didn't return to the programming facilities!
I walked deeper into the psych facilities by accident.
This is really not supposed to happen. I can't be here.
And it is so easy to notice that I'm out of place here because they wear different uniforms.

"What is this?"

She points to a device attached to my belt...
It is an old MD player attached to it.

Not only am I in possession of a musical device. It is also partially red!
I get a bit of a mirror's edge vibe from it. The forbidden color red, the bright rooms...
The woman looks very uncomfortable and worried.

What now? Do I wait for them to come and take me? Do I run?
No, I can't possibly run. We are all dependant on the drug.
If I stop taking it, the withdrawal effects will kill me.

But then it hits me. I'm deep inside the psychiatric facilities.
This is where they make the drug. It's in the room right in front of me.
If I had enough of it, could I slowly decrease my dosage over time?
But that would mean walking into the laboratory, past a hundred scientists,
take the drug, then run, get out of the building, and survive out there alone?
I don't even know what the situation outside is.

But suddenly it becomes clear. I am not me. I am not Hyu.
Right now I am another person. And this persons plan is to escape today.
Why else would I have a red music player with me?
Why else would I have walked deep into the psychiatric facilities?

"Yes."

You're always supposed to answer yes, in order to acknowledge what you have been told.
I gently push the woman aside and enter the laboratory.
The scientists all look at me. It is so easy to see that I don't belong here at all.
But they are afraid because this is not part of their daily routine.
They just resume their work.
I walk up to the conveyor belt where the finished drug arrives, neatly packaged into futuristic syringes with 100 shots each.

"HALT!"

Ah, the cavalry has finally arrived. Took them long enough.
About a dozen man in full, black, army gear, armed with assault rifles enter the laboratory from the opposite side.
Aren't they overreacting a little here?

"SLOWLY STEP AWAY FROM THE CONVEYOR BELT!"

I wonder what the odds would be to get out of here alive if I ran.
They are still rather far away. I don't think they have a clean shot from all the way over there.
But I don't think I could make it.
My mind is too clouded by the drugs.
I don't think I could improvise, heck I can't even remember how to run.

Oh! Of course! That's what the music player is for! Emotional stimuli!
I inspect the player more closely and find some earphones attached to it.
I put them on slowly. They don't react to it.
I hit play.



Not at all what I was expecting. But it will do.
I pick up one of the syringes.
Nope? Still nothing?
I calmly begin to walk back into the direction I came from.
They keep yelling at me to stop.
I increase the volume of my music. Problem solved.
I mean, what are they going to do? Shoot me?

Someone attempts to block my passage through the door leading back out of the laboratory.
I try to push him aside, but he won't let me...
I need to get out now, so I throw a punch in his general direction.
I end up hitting them in the nose. There's blood. Lots of it.
This time I manage to push him aside since he's in shock.

Holy shit! I just punched someone in the face!
The guards accelerate their pace. Time to run.
If I run continuously in the same direction, I'm bound to find an exit right?
I mean, how big can this building possibly be?
On the first corner I get rid of my shoes, because they slide way too easily on the polished floor.
My jacket and shirt quickly follow because they are horribly uncomfortable.
I feel like the guards are slowly catching up, but fortunately they're not using their weapons.

After a few minutes of running I feel extremely exhausted.
I am fairly certain that I have reached the end of the building now, but there is no door.
I run off to the left, alongside the outer wall.
There has to be an exit here somewhere... I hope.

Eventually I encounter some curtains and push through.
The building looks much more normal here. No shiny white floors anymore.

I spot a green fire escape sign. Colors! I suppose people are not supposed to come this far.
Finally a door that looks like it leads outside. Don't be closed...

I push it open. Fresh air. The sun.

A spot a ladder that leads down to the ground.
I'll have to climb over some railing to get to it.
But the guards catch up with me before I can do so.

"STOP RIGHT NOW!"

They could just drag me back inside now.
There's no longer a need for weapons in order to stop me.
But I know how to deal with this.
All I have to do is to point up.
I do this until everyone is looking up... at the blue sky.
That leaves them completely in shock and I climb down.

There's nothing really here, besides that ridiculously large building I was just in.
No sign of anybody else.
I just pick a direction at random and walk.
Nobody is going to come after me now.
I do realize that I'm most likely not going to make it.
I don't really have any survival skills.
But I don't mind, because right now I am more alive than anyone in there will ever be.

I remember that me and my father was going on a trip, to where I am currently unsure. But the car flipped and I lost my father. soon I can feel the emotion of sobbing and such but it quickly transcended to another dream where I was taking this exam, but before I took it I remember being asked whether I was too young to take this exam. If I recall correctly the second dream was the future of the first, meaning that my father wasn't around when I took the exam.