side notes

I am listening to one of my favorite bands through earphones, and take the earphones off to do something else, but the music remains at the same volume. I check, and I am still wearing the earphones. I take them off again, being extra sure that I removed them. Holding them in my hand, looking right at them, the music is still at the same volume. I also feel them in my ears at the same time. I drop the pair I'm holding and feel another pair in my ears again.

My room mate comes up to me to tell me something, but I can't hear her over the music. I take the earphones out, but the music is still just as loud and I can't hear her over it. I focus really intently on reading her lips, but only get part of what she's saying this way. I take the earphones out several times as she is speaking, but the music never gets quieter.

Maybe I'm dreaming? I pinch my nose and cannot breathe. I look at my frame of reference, notice my nose is slightly visible as usual, as well as my face around my eyes. I try to put my finger through my hand, it won't go through. I look at my hands, I have the normal number of fingers: 4 and a thumb on each hand. "I guess I'm just going crazy then" I conclude, still unable to stop the music. I wonder if I am just unable to remove the headphones and am hallucinating my attempts to get them off, or if I am just hearing the music in my head without headphones....

In either case, the music is awesome, so I don't really mind it at all. I sing along for a bit, realizing I don't know the words, I let the song continue. I figured I would know the words if it's in my head, but I don't. I keep taking the earphones out, only to hear the music just the same, and to immediately find the earphones are still in my ears.

A large dog is sleeping nearby. Now it is a horse, the size of a huge dog. It has wedged itself comfortably behind some furniture and wants to get out. I move the furniture a little, and it squeezes through, now in dog aspect again. Turning around, it squeezes back into the furniture, between the frame of a table with no top. It is a large fluffy dog at this point, it lays down, completely comfortable and relaxed. I feel relaxed just looking at it curl up over there.

I wake up and realize I fell asleep with my headphones on, playing the exact same music. Complete continuity from the dream music to the music I'm hearing now.

Maybe I woke up briefly for the RCs, and due to the continuity of music, didn't know I was awake? A crucial element was missing from my RCs however: Truly believing this might in fact be a dream. Instead of this, I was merely wanting it to be a dream.

So I would like to introduce the original 'Vulture'
this is a character that I'm planning on making a true 'persona'.
But, I haven't even explained what a persona is have I?
A persona is the form I take on in a Lucid Dream, these are to give me a goal to do in a Lucid Dream when I'm not just having fun.
I take on that persona's personality and appearance, also powers but I'll get to that in a tiny bit

this is how I fill in the main personality of a persona (thanks to Ash for his guide on how to create a character)

PERSONA

Personality(the characters personality)
Primary Motivator:(what motivates the character)
Emotional Disposition:(his/her normal mood)
Core Traits:
Outlook:(his/her sight on the future)
Impulsiveness:(is the character impulsive)
Boldness:(is the character brave?)
Flexibility:(how he/she handles situations)
Sexuality(the characters sexual behaviour [as I'm a heterosexual male in real life, I probably won't be anything male oriented, do not take me for homophobic, I have some homosexual friends, but just as I said, I don't roll that way, hehe])
Orientation:(the sexual orientation of the character)
Libido:(the libido of a character)
Other Things
Habits or Quirks:(the characters hobbies)
Hobbies and enjoyments:(the characetrs hobbies)
Backstory(the characters backstory)
Appearance(the characters appearance)
Powers(the characters powers)
Strengths level:(the characters SL)

So without further adue, here is the first ever persona!

VULTURE

Personality
Primary Motivator: Achievement
Emotional Disposition: Calm
Core Traits
Outlook: Optimistic
Impulsiveness: Controlled
Boldness: Daring
Flexibility: Stubborn
Sexuality
Orientation: Lesbian
Libido: Healthy
Other Things
Habits or Quirks: Toying with her enemies
Hobbies and enjoyments: Travelling, Fighting, Training
Backstory
'Vulture' is a young female human. having grown up without parents, the only thing keeping her up is fighting. However, her whole life changed when she discovered her powers, she has a great affinity for the Earth and Wind elements, she can even combine them into the Sand element. After she discovered this, she started her carreer in bounty-hunting, this is where our story begins.
Appearance
(please do not think of me as a pervert, these are just descriptions of her)
She's a young, beautiful woman of around 17 years of age. She has long, black hair, blue eyes. She has a fit physique, C-cup sized breasts, she's not that ripped however you can see a slight six-pack.
she mostly wears a suit that looks like goku's suit (see image)
However, she wears a black coat with a hoodie on top of that (think of the red coat sage naruto wears, however black and with a hoodie) She only removes that coat to fight.
Powers
She can control 2 elements: Wind and Earth and she can combine those into the Sand element.
She also has the capability to go Super Saiyan (do not question why a human can go super saiyan, I don't understand my own logic myself ) she can go each level of super saiyan, however it tires her out very quickly, so she does not use it often.
Strength level:
base: 70.165,5
SSJ: 3.508.275
SSJ2: 7.016.550
SSJ3: 28.066.200
SSJ4: 280.662.000


Pretty good character, no?
So, now I'll explain strength levels:
This is a way to describe how powerfull a character is however, this is just an estimate, say, a character with a SL of 10.000 could potentially beat a character with 12.000, because armor, weapons, training and of course emotion are not counted as a factor here, this system is just to give a rough idea how strong a character could be.

Also a quick introduction how they are calculated:

Also, here are the elements that I think are the best to describe the powers i use in LDs


I know it's wierd for my first persona to be female, I created this character years ago when I found out the concept of lucid dreaming, I've been having lucid dreams like once every 2-3 weeks without even trying, the last few months, I've been able to lucid dream every day by using the techniques. I have created this character but never actually tried to take on the form of this character.

So, I hope I haven't bored you guys too much, I'll now post my dream journal about trying out this character, stay tuned

Date: 03 July

Pre bed: 300 mg valerian

Wbtb: 1/2 latte (other, around 40 mg caffeine)

In this ld series, counted at least 3 DEILDs, memory not at best, many locations

I get lots of HI, some are very clear and I am able to hold a few for a while but not enter them, also some fake hand movements etc.

Mini dream: On a balcony, they are constructing a bridge over it, I have some awareness that this is a dream but soon wake up.

Mini-ld: We are in the middle of having a dinner and I find myself chewing on tasty lettuce. Bf tells me about people having these phantom limb sensations, I reply that this is because they were dreaming, it's the dream body moving. I move my dream hands to check if they fit comparing them to previous HI attempts. All in.

I'm sitting next to bf and see this glow around his head. Could this be real bf? No, I don't think it's him. I say something to him I can't recall and watch for the reaction. The scene devolves into a mildly creepy one where my voice turns into a dry ghostly whispering independent of my command. I also feel some part of my real body (like back or hands supposedly) as I'm about to consciously exist any moment. There are other disturbing noises and I'm so not in the mood to deal with this and wake up.

I take a mini toilet break then back to bed.

LD pack: My recall is bad on this one, I think I deilded at the end. Once again I find myself with bf in a dark room and this time it develops into a full blown Xanous like scenario, bf is quick to disappear and this eerie invisible entity comes instead.

This whole thing is probably just my imagination but I feel I can't control the entity. What it does is lift me upside down at the level of the ceiling and keeps me spinning and spinning in the air. Continuous spacial rotation is not pleasant and you get dizzy just like irl (without expecting it). I'm hoping that this would stop but it doesn't so I decide to attack the thing. I do my best trying to take it apart, it looks like some movie type of dark creature. Since nothing helps, I let go and leave it spin me around to see what happens.

Memory gap so not sure what happened next.

I appear in a dark modern apartment. Do I know this place, have I been here before? The arrangement is somewhat similar to a few old non-lds but not exactly. I'm a bit suspicious that the dark entity drove me here and the confrontation will continue. Just remain calm and continue exploring around, and there is indeed nothing out of the ordinary. I remember the basic task of the month. In what looks like the kitchen are two DCs male and female involved in some sort of activity/experiment and photographing barbie legs or whatever.

I tell them to help me undress and they do. I think they managed to get all clothes but there was a reappearing underwear top thing that I had to take off. Memory gap.

Most likely this is where I went for another deild.

Fragment. I can't recall in which room I appeared but now am at our old place, pass through my room, talk to mom, tell her to open the door to the balcony. She tells me the door is open, I think just like in the dreams of (Sensei?) the doors are always open. I go on the balcony.

The scene is extremely beautiful and vivid though a bit unstable. It's a magical late afternoon and and there are hues of orange in the sky and some buildings etc. I make a mental note about that and cautiously proceed to examine it in a bit more detail before rushing off for totm. I take the time to examine the colorful flowers on the balcony and the surroundings, can feel the wind gently blowing. Ok, enough as I start worrying that I don't have that much time in the dream after all.

The idea is to get down and continue with the naked task with some random DC audience on the street. Time to make that jump again. I feel a bit bolder this time, go to the side where I often decent in my non-lds and take a look at the street, yard etc. The amount of detail is simply amazing - it's as if every piece of the memory falls into place. How am I able to reproduce all that, I have absolutely no idea. The thing that strikes me the most is the grass. There are a few longer types of grass next to the fence with long grass florets that casually and continuously sway with the wind. The scene is perfect.

I am preparing to jump down or get down using any means. I think at this point I might have lost the dream though. There were some DCs on the street I wanted to interact with. Memory gap.

The next scene I recall is a place similar to my school and I head for the window again. Think there was more between those scenes. Feeling bold again at this point, I don't care if I will be able to open the window or get through - the frames change so it is hard to get out but I am determined to get out. In the end it changes so I am able to open it and look down. It's high again. This is so tiresome. I worry that if I jump and fall too drastically this may destabilize the dream and make it go away altogether. What to do?

I decide to slide down the building or do the usual non-ld climbing down so scan the building for any frames, rails and similar items to hold on to. There aren't many of these on this building though, but I give it a try nevertheless. I start to slide down and immediately use the sticky fingers technique where my hands adhere to the surface. To my surpise it works really well and immediately slows down the sliding to almost a halt. This is great, so I will use this now to slowly slide down, but before I move too much, the building gets much shorter and it's as if I just teleported to the ground. Unfortunately, at this point the dream thins out and I'm back in bed

I hold still for a deild again while a bit worried about recall and whether I will be able to go back to the same scene.

DEILD:Back in the same scene! Ok, I decide to help stability a bit, there is a jar full of colorful sand and stones on a table near the building so I take it and pour some of the stones on my feet. They are gentle enough not to hurt but provide nice tactile sensations to hold on to. I also recall that other ld where I drank a glass of cold water and felt so much better. There is a glass and a bottle/bottles of cold water and I pour some on my head and (did I drink any?) and body and on my head again. The water is cold and absolutely refreshing. I think I will recommend this technique on DV.

I continue down the street and spot three possible locations to go to. It's nice and sunny with a feel for some exotic dream city. I stare at the three spots trying to feel which one is most inviting. In one of the places is an Asian guy dressed with cool clothes and a motor helmet. Looks like they are having fun there and I head in that direction but the guy is no longer there. Nearby is a huge head statue made of sandstone, it looks ancient and a booth where this lady is handing out free tickets for some event. I briefly wonder about this place. Then recall the basic totm, queue for a short while, grab the entry tickets undress fully and follow the crowd to whatever place they are going. People stare at me as I explain this is for the totm.

The place turns into some sort of a train/disco. I go further down the carriages of this crowded place. My best friend from school is now tagging along and I become really happy because she is the best companion to have in dreams. I feel a bit conscientious about my previous behavior and once again repeat that this was for the totm. "We just did the totm", I say. Let me see if this is correct. I try to remember what the tasks were, reaching for my memory while being cautious not to concentrate too much like that one time. Yes, that was one of the tasks. I also recall I wanted to look for Sensei. My idea was to teleport to him, but don't want to push my luck too far with that.

There are lots of DCs walking around and I scan them trying to see if Sensei might be among them. Nope. Ok, any of you guys good with teleportation? No reply. Ok, I guess I'll summon him then. *Thinking* There is a tall DC just round the corner. There!

A tall guy walks from round the corner and I begin to question him "Are you BrandonBoss?" He: "Huh? Brandonboss - you?" Points at me. Then points at himself. Me? No. He's got blue eyes and dark blonde hair. I decide to probe him again. He denies being BB and says something else I can't recall. Oh well. I leave him and continue down the carriages which is now more like I'm exiting a disco or bar.

There's a stand where they sell cigars and some of them are actually candy. I spot a really nice package of dream lollipops (under transformation) and feeling mischievous grab them. Yes, it's a dream so I can take this. Oh, wait, the other totm! I wonder if this counts, the lollipops turn into other appealing types of candy and chocolate before I start stuffing them in my mouth. They taste really good like a really pleasant chocolate and other fantastic sweets. I can't believe it but this time I chew all of them.

I'm wondering what else to do here when the dream comes to an end.

Non-lucid, semi lucid, lucid, false awakening

.../It's night and I'm standing on the roof of a building, seeing the ruins of another one in front of me, it's around 10 floors higher than this, or perhaps it's on the top of a hill. I'm not sure about it. It looks very familiar to me, although I cannot define where have it seen it before. I turn on the bed while I'm still staring at this building, there's something I cannot remember about all of this, I feel it's getting late and I must fall asleep first, perhaps have I seen it in a dream? I lay on the bed while thinking about it. After a while and a couple of turns on the bed, I'm standing again on the roof of this building, I think perhaps I might be already dreaming, so I decide to test it trying to fly to the ruins in front of me. I have no problems in flying there, I turn and see the roof of the building where I was previously standing on. Now I remember! It's a recurrent place from previous dreams. Once again I have a flash of some other dreams that took place on the ruins. I see a door on the roof of the first building and I go flying there. When I'm standing in front of it, I remember some creepy scenes from previous dreams, including some sort of crypt where a funeral took place in the basement of this building. I don't mind about it because of my sex drive is starting to take over and all I want to do now is finding her having sex with somebody else. I get inside the building and go downstairs. I find a room where one of my kids sleeps. Nothing of my interest. I leave it being careful to not wake her up. Then I go to another room. I feel she's there, and I could catch her once more. The door is slightly open, and I can see part of her body. It looks like Yes! She's having fun with somebody else, I see some movements but cannot distinguish if there's another person besides her. I get pretty excited about it. I have to push the door and it takes some time until it's wide open, I feel I'm making to much noise with it. When I get into the room, I see she's just changing her clothes, apparently to wear her sleep clothing. She's alone, I'm little bit disappointed although I'm still on, so I take her and start having some fun/...

* Wake up because of the excitement, I make some mental notes before going back to sleep, I don't want to forget about it

.../A fly is disturbing the peace of the room. I catch it and remember there's a spider web under the bed. I go there and throw the bug into the web. It gets trapped although moves too fast and is about to fly again. I try to push it against the web when I see a medium spider coming out. Then a second one although bigger which walks on my hand to take the fly. It's disgusting but I don't want to get bitten so I don't move and wait until it takes the fly and runs back to its place. I see some fights take place with the little one/...

The dentist tells me I’ll need to eat something. She gives me a saucer with a small strawberry on it and then leaves to clean up. Apparently there’s going to be an operation or something.

Me and mom can hear the water running and wonder what’s taking so long. I figure she must be taking a shower rather than washing her hands.

I talk to mom about how I hate strawberries and wonder if I should tell the dentist how I puked the last time I tried one. I might be fibbing there, but close enough.

I end up hurrying out of the room to try and find something else to eat. I find a basket of pears [that’s actually peaches] and slice off some of that. Somehow I end up with some kind of cake stuff on the plate too.

I’m looking at a magazine and mom suggests I trade it with the one I have [something to do with the date on it?].

Then I’m looking through a book, which has scraps of paper in it. I figure some of them were used as bookmarks by the last person to read it. I come to a paper with Spike Spiegel on it. It has a place to sign your name and the date, and something about putting down what power you have but it was some strange term. I didn’t know what to put there so I just out my name and date [though I don’t remember what it was].

I can’t remember if it was in the magazine or book, but a ‘date’ was written: 1-2-1.

Back in the room with plate in hand, a guy comes in and starts talking. I’m wondering who the heck he is but apparently he’s taking over or helping.

Inspirations: Talking about our teeth issues, mom has peaches in the fridge and I have coffee cake, I saw a Spike Spiegel post on tumblr recently, been reading food magazines lately, have had a lot of doctor’s visits lately and was thinking about my teeth

In return for something they did, ‘we’ were trying to help someone/thing become a centaur. We put it in a suit. “It’s a bit tight, but.” And set it off running. There was another centaur ‘riding’ on top of it, causing them to topple. [Actually looked more like a dinosaur.]

The fake centaur passed by a bird creature as it ran…only it stopped, looked and saw that it was not a bird but another creature flapping its appendages and flying with some leaved branches. The fake centaur asked how it was doing that.

We’re in a shack that might also be McDonalds or something and I’m making burgers based on what the guy there told me.

We’re in an enclosement and on the way north I’d been looking for something along the fence. I come across a black device with a round button and click it. I see blue light twinkle around the enclosement’s edges. I go inside and say I found something. That’s when I hear a bark.

We look out and an ominous air gets thicker and thicker as we listen. I can practically see creatures coming towards us. They tell me to turn it back on and I do. I hope in the minutes it was off, nothing got out. I remember seeing a car or something pass outside on the left.

We wonder how to fight if needed. Someone (maybe the guy there) says, “Magic, of course”. I had forgotten that that’s how we fight since we didn’t have weapons.

Inspirations: I had just read the Homestuck comic ‘Hunting Lesson’, watching Aliens?, my fan clicker, I’ve had a few other fence dreams inspired by the place I used to live, reading an article on how to make goo hamburger patties

I went over to the stove and saw that mom was making some kind of pasta dish. I decided to make some with egg noodles instead. Mom later tells me she liked them better but I liked hers.

I’m in a parking lot sitting on a car or something? My black fan is running on high on me. Mom comes over to apologize, saying she’s been tired lately. She lets the fan run on her. Rane goes by slowly on a bike and asks us a question, maybe what we’re doing. The fan is on low now and I figure mom turned it down.

Mom is in a garage looking at stuff. She points out a package on top of a vehicle and says I need to get to looking at it. It has a bit of water on top of it.

-Déjà vu looking around at stuff. [I’ve had a few dreams where I look around at stuff in places.]



As I open it, Midousuji comes over and jeers at me. Apparently it’s a gift from him.

The first thing on top is some fabric material with aliens on it or some creature in a cartoonish style. I say sarcastically sweet, “Aww, how cute!’.

Underneath is a smallish book, some kind of sacrilegious school porno book called ‘The School’ or something.

Inspirations: The pasta I made the other night, me and mom being moody lately, me receiving books in the mail in packages, me watching Yowamushi Pedal and trying to figure Midousuji out, looking at fabric to make me a new quilt and pillow covers…

00:08 bedtime

04:11 alarm

+ burning bush, water device phone booth, walking through room a guy is trying to find a musical major triad, I hear this and think about it, E-G#-B, I wake up with these notes in my head for a long time

2x 4mg Galantamind, 300mg Alpha GPC
can't sleep

07:00 (?) get up, chat with Sensei, browse DV

08:47 BTB try for nap

10:06 voice comments: "(hearty chuckle) Best f^&*in' lucid dream I've ever had"

+ I'm lucid, I'm slowing turning in a circle to stabilize, the faster I turn the less stable the scene is, the slower I spin the more stable, I start rubbing my hands and I wake up in bed rubbing my hands. FA? Perhaps, I don't know, back to sleep.

+ I'm lucid and doing stuff for a while, I have no idea how long, I forgot all this part, then I decide "Hey I'll teleport!" I choose my destination and will myself to be there, and the dream goes dark. Crap the void. No problem, I instantly decide to fly. I take a running start, and take off superman-style with my arms and fists stretched out before me. I expect to see moving landscape beneath me, and it soon appears! I'm flying through a cityscape, enjoying the view, it's really nice. Then I get stuck turning left! I can only turn left for a while. I think I should contact DreamViews for advice to see if anybody else gets stuck like this. Eventually I'm able to turn around (sort of like turning around at the wall when swimming, pivoting my body around) and fly off in another direction for a while...

Then the next thing I know I'm in "my house" (false memory! Imaginary house!) I stand up and look out the window. I feel lucid right away. The view out the window is off a portion of my childhood neighborhood park. I see some pillows/cushions on the ground and these seem out of place confirming the dream state, but I'm not 100% sure. I nose pinch, about 4-5 times, each time indicating dream, and I can hardly believe, it, I can't understand how I got here. I feel so strongly that this is my house and that I'm awake. I eventually think that I must have fallen asleep while working at "my desk" and had a FA in the house and now I'm LDing. it's incredibly vivid, I really think I'm in my house. I encounter my wife and my kids, I walk around this floor a bit, see stairways, doors, it's a large open atrium area.

I hear my wife and one of my sons arguing. Great, I think, they must be arguing in waking life and the argument is leaking over into my dream. I wonder if they come in to the place where I'm sleeping, if I see them in the dream, if I tell them to be quiet because I'm sleeping, will my sleeping body also tell them and so they'll be quiet?

I'm downstairs in a family room/bathroom. This seems to be below street level. I'm looking out a window across a street to buildings across the street. I enter a large glass-walled shower and start taking a shower.

Spoiler for body parts check:

I do an equipment check, my thang is a bit strangely shaped, sort of elongated and a bit pointier. The water is running off of the tip in a stream, but upwards instead of downwards, I think in a water parody of an ejaculation.

This gets me thinking....girl time! I do a behind-the-back summon for a CG, doesn't work. I hear my wife coming down the stairs, I try to get to the door first to lock it, but she comes in. She says I'm not helping to clean up the mess in the house, and leaves back out the door

A girl comes in from a side door, blonde, built, wearing jeans and a sweater. I think I may know her. I make up a name for her and say "Hey, Lindsey!". She's bending over and I enjoy the view. Then she's right up next to me and I see her face close up. I see some acne, which when she turns her head a bit so that I can see the left side of her face, gets really really bad. I will the acne to vanish, and right before my eyes it fades out, back in for a split second, then out again and it's gone, her skin is totally clear!

Spoiler for 18+:

It gets a bit abstract at this point, like I've closed my eyes, but I feel and take her large breasts into my mouth, I think that's way more than a mouthful. I think about oral and I'm below her guiding my thang towards her mouth, it's like there's a milk bottle between me and her mouth that I have to go through, it's just in her mouth and I attempt to feel the sensation but...

...I wake up.

12:36

+ see AR coming down a steep driveway, I have my iphone and my ipad and I think I should lock their screens.

TOTAL DREAMS: 73

TOTAL LUCID: 1

Average dreams per night: 2,5

Dreamsigns: Stress, outside, speed, too late, friends, marathon, water

Best technique (WBTB): SSILD

Best technique (Nap): WILD


Personal evaluation: Don't try WILD early in the morning after WBTB, use MILD + derivatives. Note down dreams everytime you remember them, DO NOT FALL BACK ASLEEP.

Goals for next month: Increase lucid frequency to 1 lucid dream per week, increase DR to 4 dreams average per night and archieve atleast one succesfull WILD.


Special notes: This month included exams, this was probably a major distraction for lucid dreaming.

00:00 Saturday 2014-06-28

01:30 bedtime, disaster, soooo late

+ doom giant demons chainsaw, switching between 3rd person player outside game and character inside game, holding down keys hard on the "keyboard" trying to adjust flying trajectory.

+ on the beach, rain cloud coming, part of the show? it's a real rainclould, small about 100 square feet and it comes out from above the high rock shelf ceiling and it does rain out over a pond. There's a beautiful blonde girl and I see some pit stubble and I say "honey, come here" and upon closer inspection it's a dude, ew. See his pit stubble and some pit hair. Still has beautiful blonde hair, though.

Walk behind and above a CG with amazing legs in a short tight dress, I manoeuvre around to the front for another look but people get in the way

On a beach a big bulky official guy, two children are pestering him to build a walkway on the beach, he says there's no room to do it, too crowded, it would be full of police, they keep saying it would help walking on the beach, I visualize such a pathway briefly, I see that there are mountains in the distance, I think this location is just like my favorite SH beach, but I know it's different.

my wife is setting up a spot back up on the steep sandy hill.

A group is a bit farther on up the hill they're moving a fence to a closed position they play some sort of water balloon soccer with individual little cages the balloons are meant to break on the cages and get the guy inside wet, the balloon gets tossed back and forth a bit I think at first it's a soccer field they're setting up inside a fence like a private area. The big dude tells the kids they need to get formal plans approved by the planning commission.

Spoiler for caveman:

Take a girl backstage from the action, through a narrow space into in a kitchen-like room there are now two girls, I see a view like someone under the table is having intercourse with her, gives me the idea to do it, and I perhaps have intercourse with them, or at least think about it. While I'm finishing with a girl I notice I'm sitting in front of an opened door leading out into a public area, I close the door.

Later I'm sitting in a big chair like a dentist chair and two girls who I think are the same girls from the room, several more girls are also, the chairs are arranged in a very large circle, I wonder if they will "tell on me", the circle disperses and a bunch of girls all come standing around my chair, they're so close I reach for the long hair of one girl facing away from me and touch it and her back then quickly look away when (I think) she turns to see who touched her.

With my wife and some waitresses, they're offering something like deep-fried Chardonnay, and I'm confused by that, "say what?"

first of all i would like to say that before i fell asleep last night i was watching the youarecreators2 youtube channel. with that being said i'll continue on to my dream. it started out with me laying in my bed as normal in my normal looking bedroom in normal night time lighting, everything seemed normal as far as my surroundings. i was telling my subconscious mine (with my thoughts) "this is my mind and my life i control my mind nobody else!" while "trying to visualize my modeling dream" and every time i did this i felt an enormous amount of pressure in my head it was soo much to the point where i felt like i couldn't handle it anymore. i said it again "this is my mind!" then i started visualizing myself on the runway modeling with camera flashes pointed at me and again the pressure started again this time it was too much and again it felt like i couldn't handle it so i let go of control then it stopped, i never saw my subconscious or heard it speak. i just felt alot of pressure in my head i knew it was my subconscious mind's presence it felt like something was being forced in inside my head like energy and power it felt weird but it was to much for me. it's hard to explain it was not painful only alot of pressure. the dream seemed so real because like i said before my surroundings seemed normal. the only thing that trips me out was the sheet i was trying to hide under after i let go of control but before i went to sleep i had no sheet only my blanket. so thats how i know it was a dream and not real because the sheet in my dream was actually sitting on the futon in my waking life. most of the time i have no control over any of my dreams and just going with the flow. whatever is happening it just plays out. when i wake up from some dreams i question myself "why did i do that?" but in the dream it would seem like the natural thing to do..... so weird i've never had a dream where i actually controlled how everything played out. i have the most weirdest dreams some where i see black figures with red eyes, one time i had red eyes with blood coming out like tears and blood from my mouth, i've been abducted by aliens where they were trying to give me a shot and kill me in a dream once, i've dreamed where my entire family (people i claim as family and people who claim me as family, i don't know my biological family) exiled me, friends family, everyone who ever knew me or people i ever knew talked about me, it was big time betrayal. i've had dreams where i can't walk straight like my legs area giving out on me. dreams where aliens walk this planet, dreams where the sky is purple and turquoise, sex dreams with people i don't know, dreams i've been kidnapped held captive and bitten by a mysterious bug that made me sleepy, and the second worst of all was when i had a beerbelly a mustache and i was short o.0 that one was too much for me in real life i'm tall, skinny and i have no facial hair. and lately when i have a dream i have thoughts. like i'm actually talking in my head in my dream ive never done that ever until recently i'll say like for a month now. this is too weird .....i don't know what last night's dream was about with my subconscious mind but it was soo weird,

Hey ,

Today i had a really crazy dream ...
It was about some campaign on a astronaut ship or something that i had to join or be there.
So what happened was i was inside there and we were about 20/30 people i think
so something happened and someone got infected from something and he turned to a creature or something
and we had some war about it , i dont remember everything lol.

I remember after we arrived in earth .. i had to take some airplane you know those which only 1 person can drive
the fight planes. And flyyyyyyyyy above the woods etc and find some place..
while i was flying i had a great feeling and so i wanted to get down and stop to see the feeling , when i got
down somewhere .. near some city or village a monster came to me Lol , so i attacked it by shooting with the bullets of the plane and bombs but there were few more and one got my foot from behind and ate me and i woke up lol.

Peace

.../I met the lead singer and guitar of a band which lately I bought one of its albums. We start talking and I realize that we are the same sort of freaks. Apparently we have even the same psychological disorder and I notice that his t-shirt is dirt with food the same as mine. I'm amazed! Then his partner gets around and we decide that we can go to visit some underworld I know from previous visits. I can remember the smell of roses there, and I ask him if he remembers that smell, like vanilla I say. I'm hungry and wanna eat some pizza before we go there. I know the secret passage where we must go to get that underworld. I can see us slipping into the darkness and start crawling in search for some adventure. I'm fascinated with the possibilities. I think it would be fun if I can share the experience of visiting that underground place/...

* I fell asleep hearing the CD while I was taking a look to the booklet art.

* I remember some past scenes of that world where I have to crawl in the dark to get somewhere.

Date: 22 June

As the title indicates this was not a pleasant night. All possible negative factors in one place (neighbors party, early wake, heat).

Early frag: I got like 3 hrs of sleep, nice rebound from previous day and vivid dreams. It was the story of Mancon. [I think this has Dreamer's influence again]. Another DV member was involved a bit later on. In a later dream there was a brief part that included Sensei, but not enough of recall to claim a point for decent incubation.

Mega insomnia and headache follows. Usually, I don't worry that much because I know this will most likely result in an ld, but this time sleep seemed as distant as the Andromeda galaxy.

A minor ld in between the sleep attempts: Spent it flying in a new prayer style. Hands held together as if in prayer, I use them to set the direction. Some memory about imaging being pulled by a rope in the direction where I want to fly. It's kind of a cool style, close to the ground.

There is another female DC in front of me flying the same style she is coming in my direction and we are about to crash, I let her phase through me - she doesn't hit me but seems to have passed to the side. I concentrate on the flying again and notice that I'm moving extremely slow, I try to speed up thinking about super speed but the movement gets even slower. Soon after I wake.

I realize that I had totally forgotten about looking for Sensei. Continue turning and tossing without any hope of sleep, let alone dreams.

Some rather deep sleep /dreams follow after I finally have the chance to fall asleep.

Random frag: I have a nightmare involving my parents. It's absolute hell and my body jolts me out of it, in the last moments I know it's a dream but who would want to stay there?

Ld fragment: I'm in a room with a female DC. This totally qualifies for the basic totm.

Ld fragment: This was a pretty long ld block, but I'd say it was in a very deep sleep. While I managed to remain lucid for quite a while, I didn't have any recall about tasks or that I was supposed to do anything at all. I spent it with plan B - try to cover as much as possible for as long as possible.

I reflect back on the ld with the woman in the room and make a mental note about it and count lds. (With the gaps in memory this is now rather irrelevant) Memory gap.

I recall later on being on the street at night and lucid again. There's this man playing basketball and I say a few things to him. I continue walking around rather aimlessly and remember it being extremely physical and exhausting at some point as I cover quite a dream distance.

The only action that I somewhat more decently remember is that there were a few snowmen painted somewhere and I got super excited about them and decided to summon more. I filled the entire street square with small and large snowmen, very cool and crazy!

The dream went on with diminishing level of awareness. Didn't wake up straight away and had a few non-lds afterwards, so this messed memory even more.

23:30 bedtime

00:00 Friday 2014-06-20

02:00 really early recall, woken from music playing outside

+ car chase in B hills, police cars chasing my team, we're driving muscle cars (Camaros) trying to evade them, up and down roads, while driving I'm trying to put a plastic stencil with a round hole on to some console around the console/gearshift to the right and having trouble doing this. We're listening to the police scanner. Heading down A ave. two cars pull together to block the road. Go DO at this point and one of the drivers (man) is trying to convince the other (man) to have sex with him, who resists the idea.

+ walking through dark hallways I enter an (elevator? entry room?) and open the door on the far side leading to a pitch black hallway, I'm hesistant to enter since it's absolutely dark and I may not find my way back. Then a guard comes out from somewhere and asks "who opened the door?" I say something like "oh is it disallowed?" he comes to me at the door and the entry room is then lit and we're fiddling with a mechanism on the wall the guard wants to turn some key in the mechanism, I think I have my own key just let me use it.

+ in hallway with SB, leaning forwards against a strap attached to waist, laughing and "remembering" (false memory) how we used to do this, and say funny words (said a few)

+ walking through dark hallways, I'm drunk / drinking / nauseous almost throw up, decide to stop drinking. Look forward to meeting with girlfriend and getting drunk because we'll probably "get down to business" afterwards.

+ in a place like a big science museum, I noticed the temperature (first time ever!) and it's really hot. I go into a copy center / administrative office and it's cool in there because I think that they have A/C, it feels much cooler in there, and I feel a strong wind in there. I say "dang how do you guys deal with this heat?" There are some girls inside this office, and I have to pee. There are some guys, there's a car windshield separating me from the office girls, the guy says "just pee here" indicating the windshield, I'm resistant since I think it will splash everywhere, but he says "she likes it, she likes to look at it afterwards."

07:00

+ night-time driving get separated from dad go back meet up again on a corner S2 is there talking about how some people were in a car with a big couch on the roof and he couldn't get on it because it was full of people.

+ album story two women: walking outside in the daytime in a quiet suburban neighborhood, I see what I think is a sign for a memorial, I think this is for NB my old scout master who passed away (true IWL), I enter and speak with them and see the album. Then I'm outside, I'm looking at the neighbor's gate, and see multiple pool payment notices on the ground red/pink/white, I think they're really behind on their payments. I see the landlord, and I speak to him briefly. Then I'm talking to a young man outside, we're talking about how so many people leave to cheaper places (New Jersey?) (I think we're in California). I look up and see the blue sky with light/whispy cirrus clouds and gesture with my hands and say "yeah, but here you get this blue sky all year round. You won't get it in places like Seattle which has grey heavy clouds all year round." The guy agrees with me.



I visit TZ in her room, she's younger than now, thin, wearing a beautiful dress, she's happy to see me and she gives me a long warm hug. She's having a big party in here room there are lots of kids there, everyone's having a good time, she seems really happy. TZ hands me her dress/underwear at some point and I'm reluctant to take it, she's still fully dressed.

Standing in that outdoor neighborhood area with a group of people talking about the two album women, someone says they're (the women) immensely fat. I/we peek over a fence and see the women for a quick glimpse sitting down right on the other side of the fence. I imagine one of the two women is evil because there's a cloud/vapor covering her face when I see it.