• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. ccclxxxviii. Not stealing from me

      by , 06-24-2022 at 03:25 AM
      2022 May 23rd

      Unknown time
      Fragment:

      Something about going with H to meet up this businessman for some kind of financial assessment. Looks a bit like Goldfinger? We drive there I think.

      8:15
      Dream:


      I'm at a version of our home. A detached house in the middle of some woods. It's really dark outside, realistically pitch black. We have a lorry outside that we have been loading stuff into, for moving house. I go to it and check inside. I'm attacked by Meowth (Pokemon) who jumps off the lorry top to attack me. I grab him and threaten to break his neck if he doesn't tell me who else is here. He says something and I understand Jessy and James to be here too.

      I have a quick look around outside, but as I do, I see a red glow. They've gotten in the lorry and are going to back it up. I try to open the passenger side door, but a slightly fat man keeps trying to shut it so I just start slamming it open and shut so that he might lose grip, having no such luck. I decide to try and jump up on the bonnet. I do, and then I'm sort of sat there looking at the both of them. I think the other one is actually Jessy. I have my boots on and I use them to smash the two bits of windshield, then putting my feet through and starting to kick the crap out of the two of them, one foot each. This is all happening as they're reversing and driving around, now onto a roundabout of all places.

      I see three Humvees with military police with blue arm bands inside the cars and I repeatedly yell for help from them as I keep fighting the burglars with my feet, trying to indicate with my hands that they've stolen the lorry. The thieves are different people now (both male).

      The military police finally take position and aim at the lorry. I'm still kicking the thieves like hell. The police take their time but eventually start shooting. I take to opportunity of the shots hitting the lorry to somehow swing myself around and change the centre of mass for the lorry, making it topple on its side, passenger side at the bottom. One of the thieves gets out from the top and the police shoot him dead, making me briefly think about how close to me that was, but not dwelling on it.

      Possibly moving the corpse or something, I sort of get into the cabin from the top and start kicking and stomping on the second thief and yelling "Get the hell out of my truck!" and such like.

      Eventually, the thief gives up and is arrested. I'm not fully content with the outcome, having wanted them both dead, by my hands, or feet as it were.

      I check the back of the lorry now. Inside, the contents have all gone and there's just a long and thin compressed cardboard box that everything should be in, though nothing is actually inside. Eventually, I get back home and I'm talking to H about it. I ask if we can't get some insurance payment for all the stuff we lost but he says we haven't got any. I am disappointed but say with confidence we'll manage somehow.

      9/10:00
      Fragment:

      Subway, with someone. Some kid bumps us, he wants company? Then we get the kid to come round to some house or piano shop place, and we show him my dad playing the piano. Later I/we return to the same place, but dad doesn't remember the moment from before when it's brought up.



      Notes:

      - The long dream about the theft wasn't really a bad dream but it was quite vivid and somewhat intense.

      - Probably one of the most fun dreams I've had in a while, as even in the dream I did quite enjoy stomping on those thieves repeatedly. Even so, at the end I did feel very disappointed about losing so much of our stuff and being able to get nothing back for it.

      - My feet are rarely weapons of choice unless a situation really calls for it and I have my boots on, which in fairness is always these days.
    2. Boat on a Stormy Sea; Cemetery Campsite

      by , 05-22-2022 at 09:11 PM (The Fourth Factor)
      Boat on a Stormy Sea

      I’m at an event taking place in a large, white tent, with people sitting at long tables in rows. I can’t remember the earlier part of the dream any longer, but at some point, a man on some sort of machine, kind of like a large tractor/open tank, bursts in and starts threatening people while riding up and down the aisles. He doesn’t actually seem to be trying to hurt anyone – yet – but it’s clearly a dangerous situation, so I head off to prepare properly before taking care of it.

      I go some distance away to a much smaller tent, where my own things are, and start by tying my hair back since that thing has exposed moving parts on it, and I want to be able to get close to it without having my neck snapped. While I’m getting ready, I plan, although I don’t think this will be very complicated. I figure I’ll just jump on and start messing with levers. But I’ll want to take out his grapply thingies first so he can’t just move them back.

      When I’m done, I go back a different way, past some fairly large buildings. The area is reminiscent of a university campus, and life seems to be going on normally here. A woman holding a number of small cards approaches me, wanting me to draw one. I do, knowing that she’s trying to help in some way. The cards are made of cardboard and are of varying sizes, as if they’re from multiple decks. I draw one which turns out to have a picture showing a boat on a stormy sea.* There’s accompanying text – I’m aware of having to focus more than usual in order to not instantly forget it (although, unfortunately, I did forget it between then and awakening). I take this as a positive sign. It also somehow suggests to me that it might be a good idea to see if I can get some of the other people in the tent to help out regarding the grapply things.

      * Note: this is the symbol for chords with dominant function in the app I use to practice improvising, which is something I was doing the night before this dream.

      13.5.22



      Cemetery Campsite

      I seem to be camping in a cemetery. Another tent is staked a few plots down – a mother and a young boy, who's three-ish, are staying there. I wonder whether I should tell them they’re camped on one of the graves that’s supposed to be haunted.

      We eventually do meet up somehow, and I show them the way to a local bank at her request. She meets with a couple of her relatives there, including an older woman who reminds me of somebody I know, who is looking after the child (who I now know is called Eliot) while she does something there. Eliot suddenly runs out of the building, and the woman follows, chasing him. I think she may need some help though, and so I wait around the opposite corner of the building and catch Eliot as he rounds it. He immediately starts crying.

      Sometime after that – back at the campsite – the woman has given me a bone with some meat on it to cook over a small fire. However, as I hold it over the flame, I notice there’s hardly any meat there at all – just a couple little scraps.

      Upon awakening, I also remembered a piano ostinato playing – not as a background of the dream, but as if it had somehow been going through my mind at the same time, apart from it. I didn’t check the pitches soon enough after the dream to be able to put it in a definite key, but this is what it sounded like:



      -15.5.22


      Lots of interesting dreams lately. I'm not going to copy them all here, but highlights include:

      -Preparing for a chess match against a guy who likes to send his bishop in for a sacrifice on the f-pawn early in the game. I find this annoying and intend to make sure, through my own choice of moves, that this is not going to be an appealing option for him.

      -Lots of hostels and hotels.

      -Attending a concert on a campus but leaving after my rowdy friends got kicked out since it’s not really worth being there without them.

      -A lucid dream mostly consisting of talking to people and exploring.
      Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Famous Lucid Dreamers-dream-15.5.22.jpg  
    3. ccclxv. Mini water planet, Statue of Liberty and zombie, Driving around

      by , 02-28-2022 at 04:06 PM
      2nd February 2022

      Fragment:

      A bit like DSP, travelling to a mini water planet orbiting a larger regular planet. I remember trying to build something, though finding it difficult because of not having much terrain to build on initially. Throughout this dream I recall a nice sense of scale and somewhat strange proportions with regards to perspective.

      Dream:

      Statue of Liberty arriving in bits for assembly, in several barges/boats. There's a wait for more parts to arrive. Some narration describing what's going on? Some ships are taking more months than they should be taking at sea and others are ending up at nearby docks, but still distant from where they should actually be arriving at.

      The pieces of the statue are all already turned green. I mostly see all of this from distant or aerial views. Then I see a giant zombie rising from the ocean. It/he isn't hostile but is reckless and sinks at least one ship that happens to be in his path. I vaguely see red glowing eyes?

      Eventually the entire scale of the dream decreases and instead of a large New York bay, the scene is now a street or room, with no trace of water or having been wet. The zombie is here and is childlike, both in size and behaviour; he's trying to communicate in some way, but not with language, as he doesn't seem capable of it.

      There's a living child nearby, not sure if a boy or a girl. This child is curious about the zombie and wants to interact or play with him but some nearby adults or parents are very apprehensive and worried about the zombie child and want to keep the living child away, despite the fact that the child doesn't seem frightened or anything.

      The zombie child seems to have been able to communicate that he wants an engineer or electrician, for something to do with electricity.


      5th February 2022

      Fragment:

      Something about having the key to the car and driving around. H is in the passenger seat and we go via some mountainous areas which makes H critique my driving, though I comment that he hasn't been a passenger in a while either. Point of view shifts a few times, between first person and aerial views? Something blends with sci-fi or space context.


      Notes:

      - All throughout the dream with the zombie, there was a very grungy, gritty and generally dark or overcast mood to everything. Everything felt desaturated apart from a few details like the red eyes and the green of the statue's plating.

      - The zombie figure is very clearly lacking specific skills that relate to consciousness but seems to make up for them through keen intuitive and primal instincts with regards to communication. His intents were never clear from the start apart from the fact that there was no open hostility, just a sort of single-minded tunnel-vision.
      -- There are some other clear elements of unconsciousness about the zombie character, such as the fact that he rises suddenly from the ocean, such as thoughts or images that cross the threshold of consciousness but that do not yet make themselves clear or which have their own nature.
      -- The giant attribute made me feel a mix of excitement, arousal and concern, as has always been common for me with such themes, a lot of the time. The fact that the character was undead added to the element of concern.

      - Through most of that dream, I felt mostly detached from everything, like I was mostly there as an observer, though in the second half of the dream I felt more present.

      Updated 02-28-2022 at 04:08 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment , side notes
    4. ccclvi.Defending against aliens, Mentoring a boy, Warm colour mall

      by , 01-30-2022 at 06:37 PM
      5th December 2021

      Fragment:

      Vague recall of being in my old bedroom. Dark, based on light, probably morning outside. My oldest sibling is at my computer playing some game.

      (recall gap)

      In some kind of hybrid space RTS/base defence thing. It doesn't feel like a game in the dream. Things go well at first, and then the attacking alien waves start to become much stronger. My fleet thing can't keep up and eventually things seem to sort of blend seamlessly into a big wide sort of control room. It's bright, and white-ish. The aliens are blue-grey or silvery and I remember checking their HP and realising that it's much higher than whenever I last checked it. (I am not sure why, but at the time of writing this, this made me think of Ender's Game)

      Then I start feeling like I'm alone and overwhelmed by the situation. The invaders become a mix of TCG units, but semi three dimensional. Some units have names that feel sexual? I get close to a "succubus zombie something" unit and it seems to just be the legs. Visually things don't make much sense. The legs are blue and have something like a mouth between them but I perceive this as female genitals during the dream. I stick my finger in the mouth and feel around inside. The teeth, lips and tongue look cartoonish, and are the normal "ideal" colours.


      6th December 2021

      Fragment:

      (left recall too long) Something about a boy I'm mentoring. I think I understand that I can't teach him everything at once and that the lessons I want to teach him aren't necessarily the ones that I can or should teach him right now. Dream location seems to be some mix of old home and an unknown place. It's dark? Abyssal? Certainly vast in some respect.


      12th December 2021

      Fragment:

      (recall left whole day) Something in a town, with H. Semi-detached houses. Then, something in a mall. Vast and open, orange and cream tones (sounds nice but don't have any visual recall anymore). Nobody is wearing a mask except for myself. I go down some stairs/escalator. I think I go past a food court?

      I leave the mall through a front entrance, I think. Eventually I'm back with H somewhere, and I comment on how "people 'down South' are careless" or something to that effect.
    5. 18 Aug: Leaving a competition, confused about my life and seducing an assassin

      by , 08-18-2021 at 09:58 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      At a contest. First is supposed to be a math contest, but then it turns into a cooking contest. There is a short break for some rest and I go mess with the ingredients in the fridge for the next competition, e.g. I hide the onions of one of my competitors.
      And then I just go away, I guess not interested anymore in participating. Instead I am wondering about some personal problems. I am not talking to my best friend and with the friend with whom I just lost virginity but I can't remember who cut communications with whom. Then I come across my best friend and ask her about it bluntly. She is so very surprised, because she thought I was the one giving her a cold shoulder and she didn't know why. I explain her I had seen her in a compromising situation with my boyfriend, and that's when it all started, but she explains it was all a misunderstanding, He just wanted to ask her something personal about me, because he was worried about it. So we hug and forgive. We hug maybe a bit too strongly and we fall on the ground. People start giving us looks and I joke with them saying "yes, we are lesbian!" so then my friend kisses me passionately just to shock them even further. We laugh and then get up and I ask her for help with my boyfriend. She says ok and tells me he has been taking care of our child all by himself since I stopped communicating and I am shocked to know that we have a child (how, if I just lost virginity with him!??). I call him and we clarify things and I run to meet him. He is with his family, who has been helping him take care of our baby. I say I am so sorry and will take if from now on. Then I also feel guilty about that contest that I had left and I call someone to fix the ingredients that I messed with.

      I have been coming across this gorgeous hot guy who dresses like an anime fighter and I have been trying to get his attention. Some day I am skating and I bump into him, kind of on purpose, but he doesn't seem upset. I don't force it and I keep skating down the street slowly, to keep up with his pace. and we flirt and smile a little at each other. I keep seeing him around a college campus and I am smitten. But one day I accidentally watch him shoot some people, hitman style and I panic. I run away but think he heard me. I get down to the basement to some gym storage, behind some big mattresses, but they keep slipping and at some point he sees my head. I come out to beg for him not to kill me. He has his gun with a silencer pointed at me, his face is cold and he seems ready to shoot. I tell him he doesn't need to kill me, that I love him and want to be with him, despite what I saw. He seems to be a loner, so I sense that I hit some soft spot a bit. I slowly come closer and he puts the gun down. I stand in front of him and I kiss him. I think I am doing this mostly not to die, but I also don't mind a little action with him cause he really is hot and gorgeous. He lays me down on those mattresses and we start making out. I am super horny. But he kisses like a fish out of the water trying to grasp for some air, it's kinda disgusting. Also, when I touch his pants, he recoils. I don't force it, but hope he just needs some warming up. Except he doesn't really get excited and says he can't and I understand he has some potency problem. He makes a remark saying he finds sex yucky. I don't wanna lose my edge, so I make him feel comfortable saying me too, because of all those bodily fluids and that I just prefer hugging and cuddling. At least he doesn't seem to be thinking of killing me anymore. Then a couple of his friends come by on bikes, one is Jacob from Twilight in leather pants and a vest and he also looks so yummy and the other is some girl. She jumps on the bike with Jake leaving the other one for my assassin guy and he expects me to jump on it with him. I do, but now I am definitely more interested in boinking Jacob.
    6. clxxxix. Farm/ranch, Mystical boy

      by , 11-14-2020 at 07:01 PM
      12th November 2020

      Fragment:

      Out with H somewhere. It's day time and we're approaching a wooden or metal gate of a farm or ranch of some sort. There is a building on the left of the gate, in the distance there are hills or low mountains and more immediately to our right is a small mounding area. There are some darkly coloured horses here and they eventually get up close to some trees on the mound area and stand up on their hind legs and basically start trying to copulate with the trees, which have some holes at just about the right height.

      I don't recall what happened next exactly but I remember noticing the trees had no leaves left at all anymore, but the grass was green-ish and not covered in leaves. The horses later stopped what they were doing I think and turned into dogs instead.

      13th November 2020

      Fragment:

      The dream was focused around a black boy I was trying to help. He must have been no older than eight years of age.

      He had no parents? I think he was wanting to get some information about some random guy and the info he wanted was in a hard drive. I suggested we could plug it in at my computer and it would be quicker this way.

      But for whatever reason, the drive needed a scart connector. I remember we looked for about three hours (it felt long, but not actually three-hour long) and I couldn't find one of these connectors, only some other old connectors.

      I remember starting to feel frustrated after finding a component lead or something. I can't remember what we chose to do at this point but I do recall a computer, with a CRT. In retrospect now, it felt like something like what we had back at home when I was younger.

      There's a large gap in my recall here.

      At some point it becomes evident or is revealed that there's something mystical about the boy. He was unliving or something. There were dark forces trying to reclaim him, back to their domains. Another recall gap.

      Near the end of the dream, a human-like demon is pouring (out of his mouth?) tea bags in front of the boy's feet. Something about these being a representation of the number of times the boy had avoided or cheated death or capture.

      The dream was particularly long most of the recall was lost because of having to get ready in the morning and the recall I managed to keep for the initial notes was about an hour old at that point. Would like to edit in some notes at some later point.
    7. clxxxii. Taking food from someone's place, Legion-slaying children

      by , 10-22-2020 at 12:21 AM
      18th October 2020

      Dream:

      In my home town. Remember going up to some hilly areas that don't quite exist. A gravelled area by the main roundabout in town too.

      Then I'm with H and we go into this little house with a frosted glass door. But it also looks a bit shop-like inside. There's a fridge or something and we just start taking food from several places in here, this fridge included and putting all the food into bags (backpacks? refuse bags? not sure anymore). I think it's day time but in here it's mainly artificial light, daylight is only noticeable on the street outside. As I look to the glass door I see the silhouettes of an adult and a child and the door opens. It's the owner, I immediately realise.

      He gets upset because we're apparently robbing him. But because this is a shop, I do immediately tell him that we will pay for everything we are taking. But he doesn't care and says he'll call and report us to the police. I make some kind of snide remark (about it being pointless?).

      But then I end up trying to convince him more gently that we didn't mean to cause trouble or distress. He still doesn't care and refutes every single thing I try to say. Eventually he tells us he's 18. I feel some surprise at this, as I thought he looked much older than that (mid 30s/40s), especially since he had a son with him. But suddenly I understand why he'd been refuting everything; I remember and have a feeling of how I was at that age.

      Eventually, we leave through the back of the house I think. I've forgotten whatever else had happened in the conversation, unfortunately.

      Fragment:


      Not sure where exactly, in a flat area in a town. Surfaced or paved. Meeting up with some kids, they tell me how they defeated a legion of monsters, or orcs? Something about the kids didn't feel human, exactly, but I'm not sure why or how.



      Notes:

      - I think H was mostly passive in the first dream.
    8. 16 Sep: Museum inauguration, whales and a catastrophe in New York

      by , 09-16-2019 at 09:41 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Going with friends to a museum. It's some inauguration night. As soon as I arrive there I go look for a toilet and I separate from them. I see a sign indicating toilet on the 2nd floor. Some black kid is also going that direction but he keeps going up the stairs into the next floor, which is pitch dark. Even the area of the toilet entrance is very dark and I can barely see. I don't get to pee because the kid comes running and screaming that he is being chased by three African warriors with spears. I think it's probably actors hired to enact for the event, but when I hear their footsteps and see the shapes of these men, I also get scared and run after the kid. Back to the ground floor where there is light and other people we feel safe and the truth is they stopped chasing us, but the kid is still in absolute panic and holds on to me crying. I ask for his parents but he can't reply, he froze and says nothing. I go around with him on my arms, trying to spot someone looking for him. I think about going to the reception so they announce a lost kid through the speakers, but then spot my friends and my dad. They help look around. I then spot a group of black girls a bit older, but for some reason I feel that they might know him and ask them if they know the kid. They kinda know him and tell me he is with a white lady that runs a charity for orphan kids. They are from another similar group, both came together to this event. They lead me to her and she knows him but seems a bit spaced out, not worried at all about the kid. She wants to show me a scrap book she made all about herself, totally boring. I leave the kid with her, but I bonded with him so much I am thinking about looking how to adopt him.
      Meanwhile my dad finds another toilet where I could go, but there is a puma on the lose on that area, according to him. I don't see a puma but I see 3 or 4 lionesses running down the corridor and I jump on a balcony to escape them. They were not after me. They seem domesticated and I see them interacting with visitors and not even attacking their dogs, but I still prefer to keep my distance. So I go outside with my friends and there is an aquarium like the Sea World, with a series of tanks with whales. The whales are somewhat entertained playing a new game with balls with their trainer, but the tank is ridiculously small for so many whales. It has a canal that possibly connects to other tanks so we follow to see if they have better conditions on the next tank just to find a dying whale in a very shallow water area. We look around for help, but nobody is there, so we shout at people at a distance that a whale is dying. My dad mocks me because I say in English that the whale is thirsty, instead of saying she has no water. Anyway, the tank is emptying because something cracked it and the water got out. Soon after we hear a big explosion and behind us there is this iconic Wall Street tall building with with columns. A cloud of dust and smoke explodes to outside and debris are being projected in our direction. I say sorry to the whale that we can't save her and suggest we take the emptied canal as a shortcut to run away from the explosion. It is a good idea until we hear what seems the other tank uphill cracking and putting us in danger of being washed away. We run faster and get out of it. We reach some streets where everyone in panic dropped everything. I see a bunch of jewelry on the ground and pick it up. But then I realize it slows me down and say to myself that this greed will kill me. I still don't toss it out. I evaluate my safety, realize I am out of harms way and keep the jewels. Then we reach Central Park and it is all burned down to the ground and covered in ashes.

      Updated 10-09-2019 at 10:21 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid
    9. A fragment after a mantra | [23.06.2019]

      by , 06-23-2019 at 07:21 PM (Draeger's Dream Journal and Documentation)
      FNaF + school + Doctor Who + ...ą
      ˛I remember being in my old primary school, about first or second grade. I am one of the children, seemingly coming from another class because I had to be assigned a new place to sit, a kid changing seats to the one next to him to let me sit there. I place down my bag at my new sitting place and listen to the female teacher.
      It seems we will go to visit.. something having to do with the Five Nights at Freddy's animatronic 'Circus Baby', according to what she says. Can't exactly remember what she says, though.

      The dream is skipping to our teacher going down to check on the animatronic, opening a chamber with a hissing noise as a sort of white smoke came out of it and it revealed the chamber to be a metallic, dark and blue tube with Circus Baby standing in the middle, the tube just large enough to fit her in. Upon looking into the chamber, the teacher started to scream as Circus Baby activated.

      Scene change to a bar, restaurant or some sort of store standing in a forest, the teacher laying motionless in front of it. I know that she fell from a hole in the sky. I am suddenly inside the store and an unfriendly man, possibly some sort of elve or dwarf seems to have something to do with the death of the teacher. Then either I turn into the doctor or the doctor appears, in his eleventh regeneration. He suddenly begins a speech about that the man can't just "play with lives". I don't remember the rest of the conversation.

      Now I am again somewhere having to do with a storm, but I don't remember anything except that.

      ą: The school came from the fact that I am constantly stressed out about it, Doctor Who came from my excitement of it coming on One (A German TV channel) every Tuesday, FNaF came from me watching an entire series of Five Nights at Freddy's: Help Wanted on YouTube and the storm came from me looking at stormchasing videos again.

      ˛: I had chanted a mantra for a second before drifting off. Seemed to have helped with recall a lot, even when chanting it such a low amount. I will retry this next night.
    10. Saturday, February 2

      by , 02-15-2019 at 11:27 PM
      I am outside and climbing up a fairly small rock face that seems to be above a washed out gully (with a small trickle of water, I think). It is definitely tall enough to where I should have a rope, though I’m pretty certain I don’t. It’s probably 20-30 feet tall. I don’t think I have climbing shoes on either. The stone is a sort of glossy, but not entirely slick, bronze. It contains more features than inset holds; they’re pretty large and secure feeling. Towards the top, though, I think I come across loose sections. I try to break off a large undercling. When I summit, I’m relieved to have made it without falling or having a hold break on me. Now, I am in a bathroom and looking in a mirror. I must’ve been wearing a tank top, as my neck, collar bones, shoulders, and arms are burnt to a bright red. The fact that I’m sunburned really irritates me.




      I am inside some building, a department store?, with Melissa. Sam is here, but besides her I don’t see any other people. Sam is at the bottom of an escalator (the up escalator, I think), but I don’t think it’s moving at all. She is crouched down; there is an infant one to two steps above her. It is in need of a diaper change, which is what Sam is attending to. The child (a boy) is supine, the diaper open, some of the excessive amount of excrement in a clump a few steps below Sam. I don’t even see wipes or a new diaper. Sam appears flustered.
    11. 7 Dec: Italian mafia movie, tourism and a rich friend's mansion

      by , 12-07-2018 at 11:25 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I dream I am watching and at the same time living in the flesh an Italian movie about a guy who adopts two orphan boys about 2 years old. It is lovely and adorable, until a mobster wants to settle an issue with him and kidnaps the boys to raise them as his own. He tries to make them copies of himself, so they are dressed like little gangsters and he takes them to see all about his business, including whacking other people. The kids are becoming traumatized and insensitive.
      One day their father comes to rescue them with a bunch of men and shoots the gangsters when they were about to climb some staircase to enter a building. One of the kids is so traumatized that he runs away from is daddy, crying, but some of the rescuers go after him. The other kid stands still without a reaction, but when his dad comes to him he bursts into tears and says "papi" (although that's spanish). I also cuddle the poor kid.

      Doing tourism with my mom in Italy. Drivers are just insane, speeding on tight alleys, almost hitting us. We hear a crash. I fly over the houses to get a view. It's a truck with vegetables who went over the pier and landed on a boat. The driver can't believe it. Meanwhile my mom arrives and wants to help him by buying him vegetables, but I don't think it's the best time to do it.
      We go to the historical city center, crazy ladies put pots with plants outside their doors, basically filling the narrow alleys with obstacles on which we trip for a couple of times. We enter a very cute restaurant which is also a b&b and I recognize it from having stayed here before. My mom confirms she recognizes it from pictures. I go talk to the owner and they say I left a big bottle of hemp oil when I last checked out from here. I had been worried the customs would not have allowed it, but this time I will try to take it back with me.

      I am staying at some rich friend's mansion. She is an Asian video artist. She shows me a video clio she did for an H&M campaign, very conceptual with people swimming in the sea and a centaur swimming with them, that becomes a horse on land. She says it wasn't picked up by the brand, because they didn't get the meaning, which was none. I said I liked it, even without any meaning, it was trippy and inspiring.
      She puts down the usb pen with some of her work and we check for some paintings I left in her house last time. I promise to take them with me this time. They are hideous and amateur, but she encourages me to continue doing it. Then she notices the pen is gone and freaks out. I say the only person I saw coming in was a certain guy, part of her team and she goes look for him in the studio. She is furious because she knows he wants to steal her ideas and undermine her work. She yells at him and they begin a nasty discussion,
      I decide to go check the rest of the house. Her amazing kitchen is on a hanging deck over a cliff, with glass walls with view to the town underneath. There's a large spiral stair to a garden below. From the garden, there is a large entrance to a lounge area where I encounter some of her friends chillin'. One of them says he found a recording of me singing a Grease medley and he wants to play it for everybody to listen. I say no, no, I am embarrassed, but he assures it is really good and they should hear. They are VIPs and might help me launch a career, but I run away to hide under a staircase. Another lady, also Asian, comes to sit by my side with lots of bags, says she is leaving for her flight, but feeling very tired and asks to rest her head on my lap for a while. Then some guy looking for me asks me to join back the group, he insists they really liked my recording. Along the way he sings bits of the song, trying to trick me into singing, but there are people all the way on the hallways and I just can't sing in front of people. He understands. Says we will just be watching another friend athlete on tv and not bother me with the singing.
      We watch her on some competition. She is also Asian, very pretty and with some very original outfit and hairdo, unlike anything I have ever seen in sports. At first I thought she was doing pole vault, but then realize it is some kind of new modality, in which athletes gotta climb a kind of metallic ladder reaching the highest possible step, with a minimum jumping movement, like cats do. I think she breaks a record and everyone is celebrating.
    12. 6 Dec: Enslaved, nerve gas attack, war zone, brainwash camp

      by , 12-07-2018 at 10:49 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I am at some harsh environment, like ruins in the middle of a marsh. Looks like a Tomb Raider game. I have to jump from mini platforms to rafts that are already filled with other people, who look Eastern, like Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, not sure.... Then from the rafts we need to reach safe ground, and many die along the way. I manage to get to land, but I am taken as a slave. I find myself in the hands of women who are having fun dressing me up with rich eccentric dresses, probably for sexual slavery to some rich lord.

      I run away and hide ... in a shopping center... I find a small vet office where I bump into my RL vet. He asks me what I think about his new office, it is smaller with less equipment, but he is going through difficulties and trying to keep the business afloat. I feel a bit lost, but say it's ok, while I look at what I am wearing and finding it out of context. He offers me a t-shirt and jeans and says I can stay there and change, but he has to go out. I feel without control of my body, so I slam everything down into the floor and make a huge mess. People from a restaurant next door come to see what's going on and comfort me, thinking I may be having a stroke of some kind. Then I have this insight that I must go after someone who had parked the car right in front and is running away, while leaving behind a bunch of red and green balloons, which are filled with nerve gas and hallucinogenic gas. I was probably already under the influence of it and soon I start getting hallucinations. I hold my breath as I can and try to run to a safe area. Too late to help all these people, as the balloons are popping and there is gas everywhere. I remember that I can fly, so I rise up in the air, in the hope that I can rise above the gas.
      Up in the sky I find a kind of floating amusement park, with giant balloon figures, like Disney characters and in the middle of it, a cabin with a girl inside, looking lonely and sad. She opens the door and welcomes me there. She seems to know what is happening and feeling sad for not being able to help. She is glad she could help me.

      I am with Riverstone and we have a baby boy. But i feel strange that I am seeing this kid for the first time and he is already 2 years old. We are discussing what to name him. Meanwhile he is getting curious about going outside and I freak out. We never go outside (no idea how we get food).
      One day he sees kids playing on the street. He is excited and wants to join them. We on the other hand, just want to tell the kids to hide. It is very dangerous. Then some kids at another building started making signs warning the kids to hide, but they don't understand, look like they are not from here and have no clue. A caravan of military jeeps and tanks comes marching and I tell my boy to duck and be quiet. They start shooting. I guess the kids died. Later we get into a car and get out of there. That's when we cross paths with another car with some people we hadn't seen in a long time and we realize this boy is not really our kid, but their kid and they have our baby instead, a little girl. They also have my mother with them. We decide to do a risky exchange in the middle of the road with the sound of gunshots nearby. I give them the boy and they give me back my girl. My mom also joins us in tears and then we all head to safety.

      With some friends, including Zilla, we're like orphans in a harsh place. We've been taken in by some gangster organization against our will. My friends have accepted it, they take care of us, feed us, give us education. But it doesn't feel right to me. One day they take us all on a trip to some tropical paradise, everybody is rejoicing and I am overwhelmed with the landscapes, the beaches, the waterfalls, but I always suspect their motives.
      One of the bad guys in charge, one day picks up a fight with me. They say it is for practice, to keep us always alert, but I think they just want to beat us, because we are weaker and can't fight back. On that day, it happens that I win and he takes it badly. They warn me to never do that again, I'm supposed to be a punch bag, just as I suspected.
      Later on I mention to one of the few ladies in the organization that I am sick of this and want to go away. She goes tell her superiors. They threaten me. They own us.
      Someday we are enjoying a swim in a crowded swimming pool and some people come by and invite the older kids to follow them as we've been selected to a new group following a new training on martial arts and civics. I first reject, my friends go. But after I see them learning the basics of Kenpo and recall my own training which I miss greatly, so I can't help but join them. They also teach us some sort of theatrical dance and later inject some communist propaganda in the middle of it, like waving the communist party flag. Most kids feel a bit awkward but don't question it. Except me, I abandon the class and go talk to the superiors and tell them they can't get away with this, they must tell the kids what it is that they are luring us too. They are quite upset and basically fed up with me. I don't think I thought this through...

      Updated 12-07-2018 at 10:52 AM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. October 22, 2018 Semi-Lucid, Non-Lucid, False Awakening, Nightmare

      by , 10-22-2018 at 07:31 PM (Deep Inside The Lucid Dreamer's Subconscious)
      Earlier yesterday I took a nap. I became aware that I was dreaming but I wasn't really in control. The scene in front of my was flickering. It turned into this weird structure like the one from Interstellar with the bookcases but instead of bookcases it was the blue sky and the clouds. It looked like the same sort of image or block of space was going off in a bunch of different directions around me. I felt very high but the dream collapsed.

      I haven't had a nightmare that freaked me out in a long time until this morning. The dream was back at my house from when I was a kid and my parents were still married. There were things that happened earlier in the dream, but I started to remember when I was inside what looked like our garage. My father was narrating the dream. He was telling me about something that had happened in my past, something dark. I was myself now but watching my child self playing in the garage. There were these white strings that had bounced on the ground and were attached to something away from my view. My dad was explaining that I had discovered something, or something evil had discovered me. As he explains it, the object attached to the strings comes into view as my child self picks it up. I don't know the significance of it but it's this bell that looks similar to the liberty bell with a crack in it and a piece missing but it's small enough to hold in my hands. My child self becomes extremely terrified. I can hear my dad's voice get bitter. I'm freaking out now. The story is that two spirits took me that day up into the sky for hundreds of years. One spirit is a dead woman dressed in a gown whose colors are negative. I couldn't see the other spirit, but something was telling me the spirit I couldn't see was much powerful than the woman spirit and was controlling the entire situation. They took me up into the sky where there was an old floating house. It was weird because I could vaguely remember that I had been there before. My dad was so distraught telling me they took me up there for hundreds of years but for them it only lasted a blink of a second. I was just finding all of this out now.

      I woke up in a false awakening in my dad's old house. I ran to the door with my mom on the phone, I was asking her if it was real. She couldn't answer which told me it had been real. The door was locked and I was frantically trying to open it because I could feel the spirit behind me. I burst through and ran downstairs to see my dad in the kitchen. I walked over to him crying and wrapped my arms around him.

      I woke up in another false awakening, this time in my current room. Because my closet door was open, it made a tall giant dark figure in the corner of my eye. I was in sleep paralysis. At first, the shadow wasn't doing anything, but then I thought it might move and it became evil. The thing just flew at my face and was hovering there. I was stuck in a flinch terrified. This lasted a few moments before the evil thing made a lunge at my face and I woke up this time for real.

      Eventually, I went back to bed and had this dream that Donald Trump was about to do something entertaining yet destructive to the entire world, like a giant show that would lead to some sort of bad thing happening. I was with another person, I think maybe my mom, living this story of two agents who were going to stop Trump. I had been caught by a secret agent who brought me into a room. Trump ordered me to get beat up or something. The agent had taken off his belt and had hit me and was planning to kill me. Trump all of the sudden flew at the agent and knocked him out. Turns out Trump was my mom in disguise. We get out of that room and sort of ninja jump over a pond away from bad guys.

      I'm now in this pool surrounded by buildings with a few of my friends from college including lauren and there were a few kids I didn't recognize. Someone whispers for me to flip over a floating device she's on but she gets off. Moo tells us there's not a lot of time left for us to stop Trump and the only way to get there is through this amusement park. He tells us to jump on this roller coaster on the second to back left seat because there is this really strange robot that sits in the seat with you or something. Moo Owen and I jump into the station and get into the carts before other people can. They just seem to let it happen and get back in line. Most of us are in the back cart. I look up and see Moo's on the other side of the train next to this cowgirl robot and I realize that's where we were supposed to get in. The ride starts and we hang on. It starts to go up a hill as I ask Owen when we should be getting off. Moo yells that we need to get off at the next slow part. The train takes a few turns and then starts going up another hill. We jump onto another rollercoaster track which is made of what looks and feels like brushes for shoes or maybe horses. I'm struggling to get a grip and finally start gaining some traction. Someone yells that we need to get ready to surf. The rollercoaster takes a dip downwards and we start standing up surfing on this rollercoaster down a hill. In front of us is this wide alley with buildings on both sides that contain rides and rollercoasters coming out of the buildings. The idea is that we need to jump from ride to ride in order to get through and stop Trump's plan. The dream collapses.

      Updated 10-22-2018 at 07:36 PM by 59595

      Categories
      non-lucid , nightmare , false awakening , lucid
    14. Wednesday, May 30 - The Child

      by , 06-04-2018 at 04:29 AM
      I have a child. This child is a newborn, though I’m not sure who birthed it. It almost seems as though it was not birthed, but rather simply came into existence. It almost seems that I ‘birthed’ it, by no literal means of the word, only that it’s existence came to be only through myself. Regardless of origins, I am holding it, with its small naked body and longer, black hair. There must have been some gestation period though, as I was assuming this child was a girl. But now it is being made known to me that the child is male. As I hold him, my reaction is a quiet yet jubilant “hell yes!” I am warm and content in the satisfaction of having a son. Later, I am apprehensive in the realization that I still have to work full work-weeks and slightly saddened and embarrassed that I still reside at home.
      Tags: birth, boy, child, son
      Categories
      Uncategorized
    15. 2-8 to 2-9-2018 dreams (2 interesting LDs)

      by , 02-09-2018 at 03:36 PM
      I decided that it was a bit much for me to go back and highlight everything in color that was lucid. So it is all non lucid until otherwise noted. And then if you wanted to read the lucid parts just do a search and skip ahead to those.


      I know I should probably be interested enough in my own dreams to go back through them but some nights like last night, where I had some amazing dreams, I just am so frustrated with having forgotten so much that I don't even want to think about my dreams.


      I was able to fall asleep probably around 9. I felt tired around 6:30 or 7 but couldn’t sleep. I napped two hours during the day but I was still tired. I just couldn’t sleep for some weird reason. Reading some of my older dream journal entries seemed to be helpful.



      Round 1 of Dreams

      Something about driving to my sister, on a road near a local hospital. There was more that happened before this but this was all I got. I had been telling her something that may have been too much for her to know. We were coming from some kind of meeting or class setting. Maybe she had gotten some kind of special coffee. It was like we were driving, and I needed to go fast with certain intense kind of metal music on, I am not exactly sure why. Something about a way I coped. But that wasn’t good for her. There was something to do with time? Maybe some kind of meeting. There was some kind of design she drew in the sand or dirt on the ground, with a stick. I drew a similar design but at different angles.
      At another point, it was like she was pulling some stones out of the ground. They left triangle shaped marks in the ground where they had been pulled from. This seemed not okay to do at first but it was fine.
      Dad was saying how she should eat something like eleven to twelve fresh strawberries every day, referring to a nearby wild garden. I got the sense that he was sacrificing his strawberries for her to be able to have more. It might have also meant for me to eat strawberries or for her to feed the bird strawberries. Dad wouldn’t get any strawberries. I was wondering how he would do that when he should really “put on his own oxygen mask first”.
      Then my sister was holding up a small stick from a tree that had some sap dripping from it. We were both saying and thinking how she should be careful not to get pregnant from all that tree sap.
      We had a bird. I think it was a yellow bird. It seemed to like walking on a tread mill, and if we let it walk on a tread mill, it would just completely lose track of time for days. There was a woman showing one of those new fangled hamster wheels that have the disc they can run on, its like a diagonal disc instead of a wheel thing. The woman was spinning it in her hand and saying how we can’t give treadmills to birds any more. Then she showed us to a part of the wall that disappeared and had a hallway behind it.
      The idea was to make the bird use its mind and meditate, not just become a “mindless cardio bunny”.
      I would have remembered these dreams much better, but I woke up on my left side, with a nerve being pinched. Before I even knew I had woken up, I must have felt the nerve pinch and rotated onto my front. Then, I was on my front, and my neck was twisted badly, so I thought I should really go to my back. So I had to do all this moving before I could think of the dreams. I’m sure if I had been able to stay still, or move less, I would have got what it was I was telling my sister. I was frustrated because there was a lot lost.



      Round 2 of Dreams.


      It took me a while to fall back asleep. My shoulders were having a pinched nerve on both sides so I couldn't sleep on my side. Between that and the frustration of forgetting the previous dream, and other factors, I had trouble sleeping. I eventually found that I could slide a pillow underneath my side to take pressure off my shoulder and fell asleep on my right side.

      First, in this dream, I was in some kind of a class setting. I think there was some negative feeling, maybe conflict or fear. I have a vague sense of it but nothing I can put into words. This frustrates me very much because I don't remember how I got to the lucid part.

      Once I became lucid, I was in this office type of thing. Then I was in this hospital type of room and there was a kid on the bed. He had brown hair in a bowl type of haircut like I had growing up. Not sure exactly the age but young. He had his front two teeth and his lateral incizors, but the teeth outside those were missing. I noticed this discrepancy (I am missing my front lateral incizors) but I figured this was a version of myself as a child. It took me a moment. What it felt like was that I was dreaming from the viewpoint of that child for a while, and the next thing I knew, I was my adult self looking at the child. I said hello or something like that and we talked. Again, I can only remember this vaguely, which really frustrates me. It is so devastating to lose dreams like this.

      There was this tablet with a blue light filter on it that kept falling. It was his tablet. I was able to telekinetically keep picking it up for him before it fell. I think as the dream went on, he became younger, closer to a baby. I think he fell at one point, but I used telekinesis to get him into my arms.

      There was a little torch lighter, with the bendable hose part, that he was playing with. This didn't seem safe.

      At one point, we were towards the end of the room and there was some kind of female nurse there. I thought of trying to talk to her but realized I was with the child now.

      I had the child in my right arm, and noticed the fingers of my left hand were really crazy. I had a thumb, two fingers, then two missing stubs of fingers, then three more fingers. I showed the child, look, my hand has a lot of fingers. I already knew it was a dream.

      The torch lighter kept falling and I wanted to put it away. I had the thought that I might be in my subconscious, so maybe I should put the torch lighter in a safe cabinet, where the child can't get it and burn up the place when I am not there. There were all these silver cabinets and I found one to put it in. This whole part of the room seemed to be stainless steel. I found a cabinet on the right hand side that I wanted to put it in, but couldn't get the latch to open for me to put it in there. I guess I let that go after that.

      Then, I had the baby child in my left arm. I wish I had thought to talk more to the baby child. Instead, I was sort of acting as if I were in my own dream by myself, with no one there, just that I was holding this object for some reason. So I kind of missed out on that chance, but maybe I wasn't ready.

      I was near these sinks. To my right I opened a door to a stainless steel bathroom with a toilet hole in the floor. It was pretty dirty all over the place in here. There were two pretty grimy sponges near the sink, and all this grimy, gooey water. With the child in my arm, I decided that instead of flying away, I should clean the bathroom. Since I was thinking this was my inner mind, I figured cleaning the bathroom would be symbolic in some way. And a smart thing to do. I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I grabbed the less grimy sponge, and started to scrub the stainless steel of the bathroom. I guess I thought I was going to clean the whole thing.

      Next, I noticed there was no ceiling in this place. Just walls that went up. So I flew up above the walls a little. When I looked down, I saw this big office space with people in cubicles. I knew I had seen this earlier in the dream. I was amazed at how my dream location was so solid, that a location from before was in the exact same place, looking just as it did the last time. I was a few floors up from them somehow.

      I got the idea to fly down and fly around the office space. Then I kind of got the idea that I shouldn't do that, for whatever reason. It might get me in trouble or something. Well, I sort of ignored that instinct, and jumped down. Then, I woke up.

      I definitely hope that next time I have the chance, I remember to just stop trying to be so busy doing things, and actually talk to the child. There was so much more I forgot that happened with the child. He was crying for something at some point and I got it for him with telekinesis.

      It is so frustrating that I forgot so much of this dream. I stayed perfectly still upon awakening and thought through it. But, nothing else. No clue how I became lucid. No memory of at least half the stuff that happened when I was with the child. Sometimes dream recall can be torture for me because I find out how much I forgot.

      I had a very short dream flash after I started to think through that lucid dream where it was a dark sky. There were two light-up letters, maybe H, U, or, H, A, or A, H, I am not sure any more. I could see it clearly when I was in the dream flash but I had forgotten moments later. The letters faded into a black cloud on the bottom of the dream "screen". Then there was a white light in the middle. I knew it was a dream flash all along, so it was kind of like the beginning of a wake initiated lucid dream, but I couldn't figure out how to extend it into a new dream.

      After that I was awake, thinking through the dream. I had some sleep paralysis begin to set in and hoped another dream would begin, but it wasn't coming. I got up to write this one and now I will go back to sleep.





      Round 3 of dreams. .

      I remember there was some part with someone talking about something to do with safety? Not quite sure.

      One part where I was in my high school. Maybe flying, but not lucid. Starting to think I might be dreaming.

      There was another part when I was in the water. I forgot a lot of this, too. I remembered it at first but must have been tired.

      This last part was very interesting. There was a woman who had sort of kidnapped me in the back seat of her car. She had a gun pointed towards me. Actually, she even shot me at one point, and I died. It didn't hurt, but I had the feeling that I died. i think I experienced something, but I am not sure. That was actually really cool.

      Then, I was in that dream again, and she was driving me still. I was trying to play dead so that she wouldn't think she had to shoot me again, but I couldn't stay still. She started to aim the gun at me, and I realized I was dreaming. I had one of these moments where I said, you can't shoot me again, this is my dream. Then, I remembered the last time I did that in a dream, and the other dreamer didn't like that. So I said, well, it is both of our dreams. But I just don't want you to shoot me. And I both grabbed the gun with my dream hand and used some mental will to get the gun in my possession.

      Then, instead of wanting revenge on her for putting me through this, I realized she must be in trouble if she had to hold me hostage. So, I decided, knowing it was a dream, to help her. I asked her more about why she had kid napped me, but I don't remember that much. She said she had some other salts in the car. I asked if they were for punishing me, and she said, yes. I didn't really get mad at her, though.

      So I was sort of helping her find her way. We were 3 hours away from home. It was a silver or light gray mini van.

      At one point, I thought she might have had the gun again. I had to double check that it was in my right hand pocket of my north face jacket. She had some stuff laid out on the floor. I think we had got to some sort of hotel.

      Then there was a thing about how even if she didn't kill or torture me, other people would still come after me. So, we had to make it look like she had succeeded somehow. Then, all of these ransom note type things appeared on the screen. Maybe I had lost lucidity at some point, but becoming lucid and getting the gun from her might have been all I needed to consciously do.

      She seemed to have dark hair. I think she was Italian. I think I almost asked her if she was Italian but didn't want to seem to be stereotyping her?

      There was a lot more stuff in these dreams but I guess I slept on it more as I was laying there trying to remember it. I had difficulty sleeping tonight, so I can accept that I was just too groggy. But still, it hurts to forget, because the parts were definitely cool.

      Oh, right, here is one part. Painfully vague, but I've got it. There was something about squatting over a squat toilet. My friend from High School Rich M was saying something. He was saying how it was hard to squat there for a while, so I said to eat some chicken while he does it. Then, he said that it would cause him to poop more from eating the chicken. But I thought, the chicken won't digest immediately and make new poop that has to go out until later.

      I think there was a part with a girl I liked from high school. All of this is now painfully vague and I am somewhat upset about the memory loss.

      I should have got myself up, but I didn't because I was still remembering details from the dream in my mind. I thought I should stay still to try to remember more of it, but then I guess as I was doing that, i fell asleep some number of times. That just means I was tired, and reasonably so. A lot of times, when I am not too tired, I think through the dream until i know I am done, then get right up to write it, without any risk of falling back to sleep.

      There might have been something with my sister and a bird, unless that was an earlier dream. It could have been both this dream and an earlier dream.

      Well, I will go back to bed now. i will try to see if I can recall any other parts.

      When I was at the high school there may have been something about the A V club.









      Round 4 of dreams.

      These were cool but again I am very dissappointed with my dream recall.

      So, there was something with my sister. We were in this room that had all white and dark brown stuff. It was like a bathroom or a mix of different rooms including a bathroom. There was something also mixed in about these people chanting some incantations around a ring to summon a fairy. The ring said Zelda on it. They were going to summon a fairy called Zelda, but I was thinking Zelda is a princess in the video game, but I didn't think she was a fairy. Anyway, it didn't have to be video game zelda. So then I saw two people, I think my sister on the right hand side, and myself on the left hand side, sitting on toilets in this white and brown room. I got the sense that my sister would be sucked through the toilet when the people summoned the fairy, but I was going to go with her. I was also eating something in the room. I had my multivitamins and chicklets. I was going to offer my sister some gum. I was afraid that it was too dirty of a room to eat in, because of there being a bathroom right near it.

      In an earlier dream, there was a guy saying how something most people think is non violent might not actually be non violent. I forgot what it was but it seemed so insightful. It was something I never would have thought of.

      Yeah, quite dissappointed with my dream recall tonight. I am pretty much always dissappointed with my dream recall right after the dream, because I am still aware of how much I forgot. Once I forget how much I forgot, and I am just left with the dream journal entries themselves, I don't have such bad feelings about it. Also, I think nights with better dream recall mean I am getting less deep sleep, so there will be a balancing effect where I get deeper sleep the other nights at the expense of dream recall.

      I woke up from these dreams laying there for a few solid minutes (it felt like) before any dream details came to mind. I remember I was eating something, but it was so much food that I would have to put on an m p 3 to distract me from how much I had to eat. Also, I felt like I was laying there thinking of the dreams at times, but when I woke up physically, I couldn't remember a thing. Maybe I dreamed that I was thinking of it. I don't know.

      Hopefully I can sleep one more time and have a dream I can actually remember well enough to be happy. But I will probably never be happy!



      Round 5 of dreams. .

      I slept again, and I know I had some dreams. My dreams over this last night were a lot harder to remember than usual, for whatever reason. I regret this but I guess it just means my body and mind needed some deeper and more restorative sleep. I kind of overdid it on some things lately and too much exhaustion seems to not be good for dream recall.

      The one part of the dream I remembered was I was hearing this song. Maybe there was something on a table. I remembered the words to the song at first, but then forgot them. There was this rubber ball swinging around on a string. Then I heard a loud "thud!" either from waking life or from the dream, like an auditory hallucination. The "thud!" woke me up in a startle and my memory of dreams was completely wiped out. It might have been a thud from outside. I tried to stay still and think about the dreams, but couldn't get any.





      Other Notes
      Here is some other writing about my dream recall frustrations I did:

      There may have also been some kind of creepy monsters in the earlier parts but that might have been something i was thinking about before I fell asleep. I was thinking about being nice to snakes I see when I am in the woods and how it would be cool to be able to befriend snakes even when most people would say it is dangerous, just by being very loving towards them on a deep level.


      Forgetting so much of a dream like this really kills me. I am totally exasperated over this, because I feel I am doing everything I possibly can to maximize my dream recall. I don't know if anyone else has this level of pain over forgetting parts of their dreams, but I do. I just want to remember what happened in my dream, but all i get is like 25 to 50 percent. And I am stuck with that, no matter how much I try to visualize it or focus on it. The memories just seem to be gone.

      Also I don't think I had any false awakenings.
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