All DJ Entries

I am somewhere, by a park maybe, with my parked car. I step outside the driver's side to drink some water. In either a mirror or my peripherals I notice that the back door is open, so I shut it. Now, when I step out again? I see that it is open again. Finding this kind of weird, I close it again. This happens one more time and at this point it is pretty disturbing as there is nobody around and no way it could have happened by itself. I think I assume it must be a ghost.




I am in an unfamiliar house. It seems dim and sparse in here. I notice a small family approaching and get weird vibes. What looks like a teenage girl starts trying to open the door. I’ve locked the door knob and the deadbolt but she is somehow able to open them, so I have to keep pressing the door closed and relooking these. It is somewhat a struggle to keep the two balanced. At times she makes startling progress, but I think I manage to keep her out.




I am in what I think of as a Vans store but what looks like a grocery store. I’m probably thinking this due to all of the Vans merchandise on display. Specifically I notice some high up (like above the meats or dairy section of a store’s display). I notice some teenage? boys that seem to be wearing Vans head to toe. I think about what it would be like to completely wear only one brand. At some point I am in an aisle with Mom and some others. I think there is largely an absence of masks, and it doesn’t feel like a bad thing.




I’m with Makayla and we are parking at the front of some store. It is average to large for a retail building, with a curved exterior. The area seems rather desolate. As we get out of the car a happy looking black man approaches and compliments us for getting out of a semi truck’s way/letting it do something. He just seems very content and sincere. I envision this semi truck in the center ‘lane’ of what looks like pyramid highway, and I’m assuming this happened earlier in the dream.




I am following, through a forested area, a river that is not too wide yet gives the impression of depth. It appears fairly peaceful but has a very strong current. The water seems so clear and pure.

4th August 2021

Poor recall, didn't feel particularly motivated to write initial notes either.

Fragment:

First I'm in some kind of hidden little place. It reminds me of a chapel. Arabesque. There's a woman and she helps me in some way? I stop some psycho in our midst from killing someone because I already knew he was going to try something, as I saw a hidden blade in his hand, but I wait until I can catch him in the act.

There's some context of a cult. Cho'Gall makes a brief appearance, we speak or maybe I eavesdrop, not sure. At some point I'm getting ready to leave and everyone is wishing me goodbye. I have a lot of things to carry, two backpacks and some other items, plus my old boots to carry in my hand because I'd put away my newer ones in the backpack by mistake. I feel pressed so decided I should swap them later on.

(gap)

I'm outside, at the entrance to that place. It's a little secluded cove bit, with sand, water and so on. It's sort of below a bigger hotel complex that is on top of a reinforced hill. (certain aspects remind me of old home but details are gone)

At some point, I start jumping from place to place, over the water. I find some secret collectible books and think that they are quite obvious finds and that they need to try harder. At the edge of town(?) or something, there are some ancient ruins, half Greek, half Elvish. On some level, I dismiss this as part of an asset mismatch or incorrect loading (as if this was part of a game).

(another dream later on but recall was lost)

---

Notes:

- It's peculiar that Cho'Gall appeared in the dream. He's not a character I've ever had any particular attraction to but also not an unmemorable character for me. Considering his intellect in lore, I feel that his symbolic meaning may relate to brutish wisdom or some part of hidden wisdom, a concept a bit reinforced by the fact that he is a cult leader, both in this dream and during certain events in WoW lore (i.e. Cataclysm for one?).

- There was something familiar to the architecture both of the hotel and the "hidden" chapel place, reminds me of some hotels I remember we stayed at when I was a kid.

28th July 2021

Several bits around the same theme of survival.

Fragment:

I'm watching a video, or TV broadcast. It's about a survival show on a large island. They're saying "in our previous show only a few survivors could manage to scratch a living but now up to seven million tribals will be competing!", something like that. There's this image super-imposed over a panning view of a tropical island. The super-imposed image is an idle animation of some white tribals posing together, forming a sort of pyramidal composition as is often seen in group photos. I think to myself that the older existing tribes won't take kindly to such a number of newcomers.

I also think to myself that I'd rather be there myself, playing, rather than just watching TV.

(transition or recall gap, chronology got messed up in recording the dream)

I'm on a sandy and sunny beach, it's near noon judging by the sun. I later become aware that to my left there is a jungle or forest area and further left and close-by is a ruined town or city. I came out of some kind of drop pod and I see someone else who just has too. I'm not sure whether or not I should trust someone else at this point.

Then some raptors about our own size appear and they start harassing each of us. I hit them with something and try to grasp them by the neck and try to twist and break them. I possibly kill one or two and help the other person out, a woman. Then when we're in close proximity, one of the raptors is trying to steal something from me, and it succeeds. I try to catch the raptor and it behaves like a cheeky dog and I may be slightly annoyed. The woman recommends I let go and don't bother chasing the animal. I eventually let go and the raptor stops being cheeky and just ruins off into the ruined city.

(recall gap)

Still with the same woman? She needs to send an e-mail to someone and I know there aren't many places where she can do that, here. We go into a building that I was in before at some point in the dream. Inside, it's dark. Lots of dark brown colour, like rust. There are many mechanical mechanisms and there are a few desktop computers set up in a cramped corridor.

There are many things here that I know to have been set up by H in the dream. I sit at some chair or something in front of a computer. I'm trying to change the plugs around back so that she can use this old Windows 95 machine, because I still don't fully trust her and figure that this way she won't be able to release any viruses intentionally, or accidentally. For some reason I'm struggling with the plugs. The video connection coming out of the W95 machine is almost like a USB but the shape is slightly different and won't fit into the even weirder input shape on the other computer, or screen.

I eventually give up and just let her use the normal computer, feeling that I can trust her just enough anyway.

(recall gap)

Something about another building or another part of this same building. There's some small weird water gremlin bug thing... In actuality it looks a bit like a grey coloured shrimp but in the dream I think of it as crayfish. I am nervous around it because it moves erratically and I don't like its look and the look of its "whiskers".

---

Notes:

- The next day, I was using some Firewire stuff with H to set up a microphone for me to use. At the time, that made me think of the USB-like plugs in the dream, because Firewire is not too different in the physical look of the ends and its intended purpose is similar anyway.

- My nervousness around the grey creature was related both to shallow standing water in that area and also to the residual feelings of fright or jump-scare I still get from, for example, some arachnids.
-- I do not particularly like shrimp, neither in look or smell, though I can't say I recall their taste. I always thought they looked a bit too "bug"-like to eat, despite their popularity in my native region.

- I had to look up crayfish because I couldn't actually remember what they looked like; the dream creature really didn't resemble them.

Some in-line notes in brackets.

27th June 2021

Scraps:

Unrecorded. Something about being underwater and there's a giant ghostly crab and an equal sized ghostly shark or something. There are underwater buildings, regular city buildings, but inside they are mostly empty? After this dream, I remember thinking about how "being in water, is to fly" or something of the sort making a comparison of the two states. (I have no special interest in dream flight that doesn't use some kind of device or body part to accomplish it, though I do like swimming quite a lot.)

(This dream had a general nature of conflict or dispute and seemed to take place in an original location)

---

28th June 2021

(recall not written down on waking but later on this day)

Fragment:

At home. A courier is putting something through the letterbox. I approach and he's actually putting his hand through the letterbox now and trying to pull the triangular package back towards him through the opening. (The package was bigger than the opening but it looked stiff, not bendable)

The letterbox is lower down than it should be and the door seems to be see-through actually. As I come to open the door, first opening the foyer door I think, I find that the front door is simply not there anymore. I or the courier grab the package and I ask if he has to take it back because of it being batteries or something. ^{(possibly intrusion from looking at batteries online, the night before?)} He gives me some explanation accordingly but then decides to leave it with me after all.

Fragment:

There was more before this but no recall. Arriving at a sea-side area, possibly by car. I'm with someone, H? There's a sandy beach where I expected loads of people would be and when I see it's mostly empty, the other person tells me "see, I told you so" or something. The beach is between a six or so story tall fortification on the left, typical sea-side fort look to it, at least for the style I'm used to. On the right, the road slopes up at slow incline and there's some other building on the side of the beach.

I end up going into that building? No recall of the inside anymore. Something about two muscular women (like Klingons but not?) and I don't get along with them for some reason. I leave this building by a door on the beach level, like a back or access door. The beach isn't quite there anymore, like there's more water now. It's sunny through the entire dream segment.

(Shadow positioning suggests that the sea is West, the fort South, the second building North and the road I came from (but never looked toward) is East)

I’m at work (I’m not sure where, but it feels like some kind of retail store). I notice a quiet Asian girl wandering around and, as I perceive it, ‘scoping out the place’. I make a mental note of it but don’t do anything else. Now, I see her in a small garage (right outside of but still part of the store?), crouching down by a car. She’s taken off its license plate and is measuring it. I think this is too suspicious, so we go out and stop/talk to her.




I’m with Melissa and Brooke in what seems like downtown. We’re by the river and a large bridge. To the side of the bridge is a large tree or tree trunk protruding out almost parallelly over the water. I think this tree is some sort of monument (911?). We walk out onto it to have our picture taken, but end up breaking it, which feels very serious.

31st May 2021

Fragment:

I'm at a distorted version of the old home. The house is partly blended with a supermarket freezer aisle and a classroom, I think this is at the end of a dream segment that took place in a supermarket-like location. I'm nude in the bathroom and washing my hands. From a long distance away, I see JC (through a mirror?) jeering at me, saying I spend a lot of time washing my hands but that I still manage to do it so poorly. I find this comment hurtful because R (the tall one with the short curly hair) is next to me and agreeing with JC. I dry my hands, kind of poorly because of the towel, not taking away all the moisture.

I leave the bathroom and I'm in the corridor, it's more like the rest of how the house should be now. There's something about ice creams, some Magnums. There are two on the floor of the corridor against a skirting board, seems like someone is keeping them here to save them for later. I think about how they won't keep very well here. On closer look they're not wrapped anymore, and their outer chocolate shells are cracked. I try and fiddle but only make it worse. I leave them be and go to my room, which would actually be L's room.

Fragment:

(earlier dream) I'm in my home town, like I've just returned after years. It's night time and I just left the house for some reason (emotional?) and I walk down to the shopping centre area. The path is more direct than it would be in waking life, the road goes right through where the parish church should be.

At the front of the shopping centre, it's really well lit but mostly by phosphor street lights. I see some groups of people just idling about, chatting. A lot of them, I notice are people I knew from school, though some of them are black kids that used to make fun of me (M, R, are ones I remember). Unusually, I feel apprehensive over this, I think because there's so many people but I walk past them without being bothered, though I think people stare at me? This is the bit right in front of the bank, between the small substation building, said building is replaced in the dream by a ramp going underground (coming from the main road, the roundabout?).

I turn left since it's the corner. This bit that should be road and car parking spots is all limestone cobbled path. I see MM and I walk past I say hello and wave at him, almost in his face, but he doesn't hear or see me, doesn't acknowledge me. He's coming out through some glass sliding doors. I don't look inside but there's a bright cool light in there. Makes me think or feel of an airport.

I keep walking towards the open end of that underground ramp. Now I see D. I say hello to him too and he greets me back, we start talking. I ask him if he saw MM over there and he did, commenting something about him. We go down into the ramp, there's a sort of seamless transition and we're in a subway station. It's vast, more than almost any I can recall in waking life but it is like others I've dreamed of. It is well lit and there is a lot of concrete and some metal accents.

There's a fair amount of people around? I get the impression it's quite late but I don't know or see the time at any point. I talk with D all the way as we walk, but sadly I can't recall what about.

---

Notes:

- I dreamed of D only recently. In the past when I've dreamed of him or the other D, it has usually been linked with personal relationship in some sense. Both D and MM were two of my only true childhood friends, but at the same time, I ended up eventually feeling abandoned and disconnected from both too. Besides from relationships and from family, I don't think I ever felt friendship like theirs again, at least so far anyway, though at several points I have hoped that people I have met would become friends like they had been.

- In the dream it was as though MM was seeing past me, like he was aware of my presence but not acknowledging me. I remember he was standing still as I walked past whilst greeting him, expecting he would say something, at which point I would have stopped.

- The point at which I felt apprehensive about continuing on past the groups in front of the shopping centre was mostly a form of social anxiety that I haven't really had too much of in my adult life. On some level, I was afraid of being mocked. The other dream fragment also relates to some aspect of this.

- For the past few nights I keep trying to think about dreaming, lucidity and even previous dreams, but my mind always ends up drifting off and before I know it, it's morning. But I manage to recall most of my thoughts and moments prior to falling asleep fairly well.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Some weird circular story. Starts with a woman sending her daughter to orphanage. The girl grows up and gets pregnant. Her kid is taken away and raised outside by someone else. He meets his grandmother without knowing who she is and they get involved. Then one day the grandmother finds out where her daughter is and comes to see her, bringing her son along, nobody knowing who they are to each other and he also falls for his own mother. Can't recall what happened next but it was some crazy full circle incest shit.

At a college, feeling like a visiting student. Some girls who are showing me things around take me to the auditorium where it is being played a documentary about Billie Eilish. I go inside all happy to watch it and sit on a chair, but some dudes come to charge me 20€ for it and I just don't wanna pay, so I get out, thinking I can probably stream it online cheaper or for free.
Then I am invited to coordinate a group of young kids, also visitors, who will be planting trees and bushes in the outside premises. First we all gather in a room and I give them a small lecture about the plants. At some point the kids are all distracted and talking loudly and neither I or their teacher manage to quiet them down. I am losing my voice from shouting. The teacher gives up, but I go grab a recipient with water and throw it at them. It works. They are all wet and in shock looking at me and I finish what I was saying.

23rd April 2021

Fragment:

I'm in a city, with H or maybe a friend, possibly a dream character. It's built out of full-sized cathedrals which in turn also basically make up a lot of the surrounding landscape. Either way, I'm on a public footpath of some kind and with a non-conscious impression of being somewhere quite high up. There are many other people around, I remember seeing people going in either direction with backpacks on.

The public path is built on top and as part of some cathedrals' rooves, which are partially flat. These bits have sections of tempered and thick (more than an inch) stained glass that allow pedestrians to walk over them and see inside the cathedrals that are below them.

(recall gap)

Something about a police investigation? I'm helping investigating or something.

(gap)

A concrete room underground. Related to sewers or some similar water processing facility? It's wet and there's some very deep water, which I can't see into very well but I'm not trying to look. There are platforms, this room has a feel of being like some kind of puzzle or challenge room.

At some point, I'm now in the water. In the water, there are dozens or perhaps hundreds of undead and rotting rabbits. Their fur is green and patchy. The visible flesh is a pale violet or purple. The ones that have eyes, possibly glow. The undead rabbits swim mindlessly at the surface of the water. The water does not look unclean, despite their presence. In fact, it's kind of clear, even if I can't see very far into it.

The room has a cold and dim light or ambience.

---

Notes:

Spoiler for Notes spoilered to keep DJ entry less lengthy:

- It's curious that rabbits are the second rodents to recently appear in my dreams. The first were rats in a semi-recent dream and they too were filthy or unclean in some sense of the words. Until I wrote this DJ entry out, I had entirely forgotten that rabbits are rodents.
-- They looked like the rabbits in places from WoW like the Tirisfal Glades and the Plaguelands.
-- I have always found a certain appeal to those zones in the game, they feel peaceful to me despite their gloomy and sickly ambience. Typing this out makes me realise that it's probably a bit unusual.

- On reading one of the books I have about dream symbology (I like to do so for interpretative inspiration sometimes), one thing noted about rabbits is that town people may mistake rabbits for hares and vice versa in dreams. Thinking about the dream, my instinct is to refer to them as rabbits, but in fact, they must have been hares based on their sizes as they were certainly not bunny sized. This makes some sense under that, as I have always been mostly a town dweller and even while awake, if I see a hare I'll likely think "rabbit!" before I think "hare" verbally.

- The undead in general have never frequently appeared in my dreams. I can't really recall many instances where there is undeath in some sense. I have never felt a particular fear of the undead despite my religious background and despite being aware that there are some things "similar" to undeath, but not in the traditional mythical sense.

- All of the things from this dream felt very desaturated, pale.

- There are a lot of stereotypical "underworld" symbols appearing in my dreams recently, I feel. It wouldn't be the first time but it may feel more pronounced lately since I'm establishing casual links between them. Perhaps some kind of subconscious world-building.

- The city made out of cathedrals was magnificent. The stained glass in the pathways was plain but made for a beautiful patterning effect. The whole area had a feel very much alike environments from Dark Souls, but more modern and casual and taken for granted in the dream as part of day-to-day existence, perhaps in the same way that I may take houses, office buildings and skyscrapers for granted in waking life.

I am removing a hypodermic needle from my left hip. It is very wide, nearly as wide as a pencil. I start with some haste but soon begin to feel it tugging the skin, which slows my pace. I grimace through the last few uncomfortable moments, feeling deeply woozy.




I am traversing some snowy ledge, seemingly the outer edge of a sidewalk, 20-30 feet above a body of water (Lake Tahoe?). I don’t feel cold, and in fact I remove my tie dye Grateful Dead shirt. For me this is fun, and I even consider jumping into the water, but never do.

I am in some building. It seems to mold around the surrounding terrain and/or go below it. The architecture is minimalistic but sleek, dark wood and darker walls. Everything seems angular as well. I am looking for a restroom and find one, an opening, at an angle, in a wall. I enter and follow it, a longer hallway. It seems both open and private, and I love this effect and its subtle opulence. I think before I fully get into the restroom I arrive at a corner that opens into a larger space. Off to the left the building is open to the terrain, a rock grade with a small trickle of water. In front of me is the main opening, a vault type space, the far side of which is a wall coming out of the terrain, with a large, high window. Through the window I see some tables and two old men sitting at them. I take a picture of the scene and when I look back at it, the men look ominous and familiar. (They look like Ken Rose and the old customer at work with a ponytail and pebble mask). I think I take a turn and end up making it to the actual restroom.




I am in a car with Vladimir Nabokov, him in the driver’s seat and me in the passenger’s. He has a piece of paper, on which there is a line of symbols that I think repeat. I’m not sure the objective here, if there is any, but he’s found a clever way to pencil in a few to perfectly look like the outline of a house (he gets two or three on the larger sheet). I think this somehow correlates to his last name.

I am alone in Mom’s house when I hear a knock on the door. Coming from my room, I creep up to the peephole and try to see who it is. It looks dark out, and I see a female walking away from the male who is still right outside the door. Though he’s mostly a shadowy figure, I guess he’s in his late 20s-30s. Though she is walking away, I think she’s older, maybe in her 40s. I start to think maybe I shouldn’t have come up to the door, because he’ll have heard me or seen my shadow against the windows and know that someone is in the house. After a moment he leaves, but he starts walking around the side of the house towards the back door. In a small panic, I rush over there to make sure the door is locked. I also think I call 911 at this point. There is some trouble, like them not believing me or being dismissive. I end up outside of the house in an attempt to get away from this guy but also keep my eye on him. As I’m walking around, I notice the snow on the ground and that our house is one of the ones with no cars in the driveway. I wonder if this caused them to pick our house.




I’m with some people from work, by a large outdoor pool. I think we’re in a pool house or something, and it feels like we’re doing work things. I notice a printed schedule that has written additions on one of the days - Saturday? I think it’s Julia and Ethan that are here. Now, I am doing cannonballs into this fairly crowded pool. I do one and end up hitting the bottom even though it’s a deep pool. When I surface, Makayla? makes a funny comment. I jump again, moving through the air at about half the speed I really should be, and collide into a red haired boy. Again I’m jumping, this time soaring over most of the pool and gently landing in the patch of gravel past it. There is something about me being really good at cannonballs because I’m not good at other things.

27th February 2021

Fragment:

(was a long dream but only recalled bits and pieces)

Me, H, J and S; we're all meeting up at some rocky place. They parked their car in a small rocky alcove, I think we go and see the car?

As they found out, it was wet and the bottom part of their car is getting too wet. In this semi-flat rocky area there are some waves of pure and clear water, not more than an inch high. The area is slightly sloped down away from the rocky alcove bit but the small waves of water still climb with ease.

I talked to J about it and we discuss the underground water tables. I don't remember getting wet or feeling wet from standing in the shallow water.

Then something about us driving elsewhere. J was in their own car and we were in ours. H gives me his phone so I can text her if needed. But I suggest it may not be a good idea since she'll be driving too. (S was seemingly gone from the dream at this point?)

During the drive, I think we discuss food and how we should maybe stop for lunch somewhere along the way. I think we were going to but then we don't? I know that we do go past a place and I mention this and H remarks with "well, too late now" as we drive past.

We arrive at a lab of some sort. They do advanced soil analysis here? We get into a conflict with the personnel because they are apparently doing something evil.

There's a mini turret that tries to shoot at us but me and H approach it covertly and work to disable it. I end up simply disconnecting the neutral cable, not fully expecting it to work, but it does.

I think we then confront some of the personnel/research team.

2/27/20

I am in an ice cream place located in a gas station of sorts. There are many treats some infused with cannabis, I gather I am in colorado. While ordering I befriend some people and they offer to give me a ride to where I am going, I'm like 40 min from where I am staying. It is night time and I cannot see out of the car. We joke while he drives and is constantly turning around looking at me and the other girl in the passenger seat. He suddenly drives over an embankment and we plow through an angled corn field as we fall down, the stalks speedily crushing under the cars weight as it falls. We fall for a while as we all scream and feel mostly weightless in the vehicle. We hit the water with a sudden jolt. It is dark and murkey.

Fast forward we are being called into a unique court room. The girl who was in the car with us died. The driver is being held responsible. I am just a witness because I rode in the back. The court seems to be a dual between two large creatures. They are controlled with your mind when you hook up to some alien looking umbilical cord. I have flashbacks of the accident while I sit in the courtroom and the session begins.

I break through the windshield by kicking hard with my feet. The car/red suv is sinking in the murkey muddy water. I drag her and him out, her arm is missing just above the elbow, I can tell it's bad. He doesn't seem too injured so he helps. We all swim together trying to keep her above water. The cliff is high and flat walled. Straight flat segments of wall connect together as they meet the water. We must have fallen a couple hundred feet.

I am sitting in the court room wearing a hospital gown. My family is in the audience. The room is blue and golden with accents along the ceiling. There is a case being made. The boy who drove is being charged with recklessness homicide. The girls family is there too, they are scornfully sad. I gather the only way to win is to have your large creature defeat the other creature. I am not being charged but I am in control of one of the creatures. They are sentient but are also slaved to the brain hookup. One is large and grey, with a long backwards sloping head to a point, no mouth but deep dark recessed eyes, it stands with a hunch almost gorilla like but is incredibly muscular, elegant looking and smooth. The other is colored like a hornet. It has a swollen head and insectoid body, with long dagger like appendages. It stands at the opposite side of the room facing it's companion. I still feel traumatized. The accident feels too recent. I have fresh wounds and bruises all over my body.
I don't talk to anyone.

Even though the water is murky it still feels like there are waves crashing against us. I am the only one who can barely touch the bottom as the three of us hobble to the rocky waters edge. There doesn't seem to be anywhere to climb up. A flat wall against the pounding water. It begins to look familiar to me. I remember seeing this before. Some of these sections of walls have hidden doorways in them I think. I see them open in my mind's eye. We approach the wall and she begins to faint, she is losing a lot of blood, I just can't tell because it is dark and I only barely see her injuries. I press on the side of the rock wall with my free hand, it becomes a sort of doorway and cracks open with dim light on the other side.

I feel the device hook up to the back of my head. I swirl at the sensation. Someone in the room is trying to sell me a $400 pen. It doesn't look so special to me. My perception is now split in the room. I see out of both sets of eyes. One taller and standing where the larger creature is. One small and weak in the front where everyone is staring. We don't fight. Rather there is an internal dialogue now. There is an alien debate occuring in my head. They want to know what to do with us.
We aren't supposed to be here.

25th January 2021

Fragment:

Something Daikatana-like? I visit several dream locations but a few of those are marshes like in the first act of the game.

I remember going into a disused entrance. Dark, wet. Some blue light or reflection from the water. Vines and so on? I'm here to find a body and destroy it, a friend or ally's body. Someone else is either with me, or guided me here.

26th January 2021

Dream:

I'm browsing the usual art site. I'm looking at someone's profile and see that I'm on some list of skilled artists this person likes, I think I am surprised by this, but appreciative.

Later, I return to the same profile? I see I am no longer on that list and spot an entry talking about the reasoning behind including each artist under a specific category. I'm listed apparently because of some KH (from BL) piece I made. They also mention how and why they chose to exclude me from their favoured artists' list, but I forget the details.

There's an animation on this entry... It's their main character, a dark-blue, almost black furred wolf/canine. The animation loops and the character grins as he cuts off the ring finger from his right hand.

I feel disappointed, or hurt.

Dream:

I'm outside, a typical city of some kind. I'm not wearing a mask and feel that I should be. I'm at a sports area and there are dozens of people of all ages, including young kids, though I think mainly kids. I become concerned because none of these people doing sports or playing outdoor games are wearing any masks. It makes me apprehensive and I almost feel as though I can see the particulates of their normal breathing in the air.

I leave this area. I remember some roads. It's day time but I forget what the sky is like exactly. I'm walking through some street under an overpass. Someone is walking along with me but I forget who. We are having a conversation and we pass several people, some don't make any effort to move out of our way even though we are practically up against a wall on the side anyway. I feel apprehensive again about transmission.

I can't recall where we go or end up.

---

Notes:
- Maybe it's only natural that I've been getting these dreams about the art browsing again. Lately I have been a bit more active and have felt the same anxieties and maybe frustrations that I was feeling around the last times I was having this sort of dream.
-- I think I felt so hurt because I feel people are so changeable and I have been finding it very difficult to connect with anyone in that world. Too often I end up feeling just too different despite having virtually similar interests.

- The outdoor dream had a grey or desaturated feel to it.

11th January 2021

Dream:

At a school. For whatever reason, it has headstones on its gardens like a church yard would. I'm in a classroom initially, banal stuff happens. Not sure what the class/lecture is. Feels like school from when I was between age 10-15.

Eventually, a second teacher comes in. A black woman, she smiles a lot and seems friendly. She sits next to me on my left at my desk. I notice she has extremely short hair, not unlike my own haircut in waking life right now but her hair is curly. Her skin tone itself is very dark but not the darkest I've ever seen.

She smiles and we talk about some forms I was supposed to have filled. It was some kind of evaluation or assessment, I remember doing bits of it beforehand. There's this page with a table layout and she asks if we should go from there. She's sort of... half on a phone line with someone at the same time? That other person can hear our conversation but I don't remember hearing them.

At some point, I notice we're outside, still sitting at the same desk. As we're going through the page, because of the way she explains some things, it becomes obvious to me that what little I'd done was not fully correct and my assumptions about the column headers were erroneous.

I have some vague recall that it was an assessment about my physical symptoms.

It's kind of a perfect day; sunny outside with a very light amount of distant clouds. I feel or notice the tufty grass under where we're sitting.

She gets another call, or someone comes? and tells her that she's going to be suspended from work. Apparently, she forgot (and I didn't know) that we were violating the rights of the dead, by blocking the space between them and the sky. She's not phased by this and smiles politely but genuinely. This other party berates me and tells me I'll be failing this class. I feel sad and start sobbing.

The black lady leads and accompanies me into one of the school halls. Dark and unlit, except for a reflecting glow from outside.

I ask her, in my native language and in anger and crying, "why is there such a stupid rule?". I feel frustrated and say whatever else comes to mind, and I say "it's a pointless rule!" as I walk toward a window. From a first-floor (we were on a ground floor a moment ago but I didn't notice this) window I see the tightly packed headstones and ask "why the hell does a school even have graves on its grounds?!" and I think I walk back to her and we walk together a little bit.

She's about to say something and I try to stop sobbing and I say "I'm sorry, I know it's not your fault" and I feel that the suspension she's getting is completely unfair. She smiles again and tells me something, also talking about her suspension though before she can manage to comfort me I feel myself running away, still angry and confused at everything that had just happened.

I'm not on the school grounds anymore and I'm running angrily and aimlessly through a city street wide enough for six cars. Three buses following behind each other are coming my way, slowly, but I make no effort to avoid them at first. I think about how I could die crushed by one and nobody would care, but before I get too close, I preserve myself and avoid getting trapped or run over but in a blind anger I swing my arms at them, trying to hit the back plating. I continue running down the street in my emotional state with some awareness of people around looking at me a little.

The street slopes downwards and is in the shade of a large and tall building to the left. As the street continues down it has an edge and beyond that in the distance I see the rest of this massive city lit by sunlight, on a sort of cylindrical slope or half-tube. It's an amazing cityscape but I don't even make an effort to appreciate this during the dream.

(later, or after waking up and falling asleep again while thinking about how I would like to be lucid and would like to anger an Olympian god)

I'm in a dark house. There's a door leading to a basement with vehicles and I want to take a bomber jet. Mom is in this first room and tells me that dad took something out for a ride but as I approach the door he comes through it and lets me know that I can't use what I was wanting to, just right now. I seemingly don't care too much and go through anyway and get on a "mini" battleship, no bigger than a small van.

I take it out and immediately I'm in some kind of combat adventure. There are bad guy lackeys trying to shoot at me but they do so in vain and even though "miniature" this battleship moves a ton of water; I'm going down some kind of tropical river. Going down some rapids I think about taking out some more distant targets and then I open a realistic-view interactive map of a nearby area and decide I want to teleport there, trying to pick a precise spot and imagining the best spot to make the battleship drop on to displace a lot of water when it reappears and falls in. But when I actually do teleport, I'm not in the battleship anymore.

I'm now some kind of gorilla; some remnant of the anger from the earlier dream returns, in some way. I go down an area full of people and cars and I attack them but only in passing; I seem to be focusing on simple continuing along and just damaging whatever's within reach along the way. At one point near the end, a panicked man in his car pointlessly tries to run me over. I'm about the same size as the car but easily avoid it and then proceed to chase after him for a while before I lose interest and continue my aimless rampage. This bit takes place near a fast food car park.

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Notes:

- This dream was completely non-lucid and at no points did my awareness really raise any higher; there were no pre-lucid thoughts or feelings. It was very vivid overall and all emotions were quite intense, but none of the intensity carried over on waking.

- I took an extra supplement before bed last night.

- That woman was such a nice person and after writing my initial notes for the dream it really reminded me of how lucky I was through school at times, having had figures like her present not just once but many times.